Two Steps From Hell
by thesinandthesinner
Summary: The Order of the Phoenix: A world class assortment of eccentric, strange, humorous and some would say, idiotic characters.They'd have to survive their Seventh Year first and falling in love before bringing the biggest egomaniac on the planet down.
1. Beginnings

_A/N: The Black Brothers have always fascinated me, especially Regulus and his story and I've had this story in my head for a loooonnng time (three years and counting and have finally gotten the time to actually write it out) and have decided to put it up for you lot to read. This story was inspired by the song "Protectors of the Earth" by Two Steps from Hell, if you want to get an idea of what the feel of this story is going to be like, give it a listen. (No this isn't a song fic) So, here we go! I would love to hear what you think and please review!_

* * *

"Haul ass! You're going to miss the train!" a voice shouted.

Rowan laughed and ran towards a door one of the train carriages. It was 9:50 in the morning, too bloody early in her mind, and the Hogwarts Express was due to live in ten minutes.

She dragged her heavy trunk behind her and stumbled through the narrow hallway of the train. She nearly tripped over a person's foot before she looked up to see Lily Evans, one of her best mates looking at her with a sour expression.

"Geez Lils! Seventh year hasn't even begun yet and already you look as if you've been forced to clean the bedpans in the Hospital Wing!" Rowan said.

Lily rolled her eyes and turned on heel. "C'mon, we're all sitting here," she moved down the hallway. Rowan followed in suit and a big grin spread across her face when she saw the gang nicely situated in a compartment all the way at the end.

The four Marauders were lounging in their seats and looked at the newcomer.

"Hello you lot!" she exclaimed dropping her trunk with a thud. She hugged and kissed each their cheek. "How were the rest of your holidays?" she asked tousling Peter's hair who blushed and muttered something.

Lily rolled her eyes and took a seat next to Remus. Rowan waved off the hands of Remus Lupin and James Potter as she hoisted her school trunk up on top and then whirled around to face her mates.

"Well after the eventful two weeks, when all of you were at my house, the holidays were pretty quiet, minus the occasional explosion now and then," James remarked. Sirius burst out in a fit of laughs remembering said explosions.

"Well of course your holidays would be quiet. And besides, I never meant to accidentally blow up your fireplace," Rowan replied.

"How do you even manage to blow up a fireplace?" Lily asked amazed. She had only spent one week at the Potters, having left earlier to go on a family holiday. Evidently she had missed out.

"Well Lily, what do you get when you put Exploding Snap, some of Zonko's firecrackers and Rowan's imagination when it comes to developing new magic?" Remus asked his red-headed mate.

"Oh." Enough said.

"Hey! I will have you know that I have finally finished working out the kinks to that particular spell," Rowan protested.

Sirius didn't say anything but scooted over to make room for her. Rowan plopped down next to him and stared out of the window. After a moment she rummaged through her bag and took out a worn spell book. Immediately she began rifling through the pages and took out a pen.

"Is that a pen?" Remus asked interestedly.

"Yeah! Lily gave me a whole bunch of them! Much easier than quills. Imagine having to take out a pot of ink and quill every single time you needed to right something. Bloody annoying that is. Pens rule. You know what's even better? PENCILS." Rowan dug into her bag and triumphantly waved around one to prove her point.

"Oi! Watch where you wave that thing!" Sirius exclaimed ducking his head. Lowering the pencil Rowan rolled her eyes and began to underline things in her book.

Sirius smiled faintly at the sight of his mate underlining things and writing things down in spell books, regular books, and pieces of parchment. She was forever writing things and creating.

Lily and Remus were deeply immersed in a conversation about a mutual book they had both read over the summer, Jack Kerouac's _On the Road_. Rowan had stumbled across that book in her Sixth Year and claimed that it had changed her life. Curious, Lily decided to take a crack at the book herself and found herself unable to tear her eyes away from the text.

"It's completely revolutionary!" she declared. Remus rolled his eyes.

"No. It's a sloppy written book written by a man who was jacked up on caffeine for three weeks and wrote about his cross country trips he took with his crazy, drunk ass mate. All they did was drive back and forth across the country in different cars!" Remus ranted.

"But it's different from every other thing we've read or what people do! This is about grabbing life by the horns and doing something unpredictable, it's about living!" Lily countered passionately.

"It has a naïve, idealistic view on people, especially African Americans and it treats girls pretty shoddily. And by the way, has Mr. Kerouac heard of a thing called, I'm not sure…EDITING?" he threw up his hands.

Lily laughed. "Okay," she gave in. "I will agree on you on that. There are a lot of rambling paragraphs."

"IT'S ALL ONE BIG RAMBLING PARAGRAPH!" Remus lost his composure.

Sirius and James burst out laughing at this. They had been watching the pair argue for the last ten minutes and to see their best mate loose his cool, something he rarely did, was entertaining.

"You know what you ought to read Remus, if you aren't fond of the rambling paragraphs?" Rowan asked without lifting her eyes from her own book.

"What?" he huffed.

"Ernest Hemingway's "_Fiesta_". Brilliant. Terse, explosive sentences, good punctuation." She replied.

"And where, might I ask, may I obtain a copy of this?" he asked.

"My trunk. I'll give it to you once we get to Hogwarts,"

"Fine. I need something proper to cleanse my eyes from that rubbish that Kerouac wrote," Remus grumbled.

* * *

The train ride was uneventful as it could be. It dawned on them that it was their last train ride towards school to begin a school year.

Lily sentimentally unwrapped a Cauldron Cake that she bought from the Trolley Lady. The Marauders of course had loaded up on sweets and began swapping pastries. Rowan unwrapped a sandwich from her bag and shook her head as Peter offered her a Pumpkin Pastry.

"Nah, I'm good."

"Oh come on, it's our last train ride towards a new school year!" Lily said.

"Lillian, please. Hold yourself together," Rowan rolled her eyes.

"Just one bite," she coaxed. Rowan stared at her with flat eyes.

To solve this problem, Sirius grabbed her jaw and shoved the pastry into her mouth. "One bite," he said.

She glared daggers at him but bit off some anyway. Satisfied, Sirius leaned back and then took a bite himself.

"I hate you lot," she mumbled. They laughed.

"Not true, never true," Peter said.

"Love, you couldn't live without us," James added.

"Don't I wish I could?"

Lily and Rowan had become best mates from their start of their first year. They had been paired up with Marlene McKinnion and Emmeline Vance as the first year Gryffindor girls of their year.

The year had been 1970 when they had first met, a small dark haired girl and a fiery red head girl who was unusually tall for her age. Lily had caught her struggling to get through a book titled "_The Wizarding Idiot's Guide to the Muggle World_". She found it strange.

"That's some serious reading," Lily commented shyly. She was startled to see a pair of enormous blue eyes stare back at her. The girl lowered her book and her lips turned upwards.

"I just want to know…everything." She simply replied.

"Everything?"

"Everything." The girl replied solemnly.

Her eyes had struck Lily like a lightening bolt. Lily was suddenly unsure of what to say. She wish she hadn't said anything at all.

The girl placed the book off to the side and cocked her head. Then she stuck out a hand. "Hi. My name is Rowan Forlani."

"Lily Evans," Lily shook her hand. Rowan smiled at her and settled back into her seat.

"I like your hair," she commented.

Lily unconsciously fingered her red locks. "Thanks. I've always kind of hated it. I always wished I could be blonde."

"Nah you don't. It wouldn't go with your eyes. You look like a fairy," Rowan decided.

Lily felt a ridiculous feeling of pride go through her. She had never thought of herself like that. She had always felt so self-conscious about her red hair. She was forever being teased in primary school.

And just like that, they became the best of mates. The stars must have aligned properly as they had both been sorted into Gryffindor.

And now six years later and they were still stuck together. Over the years they had their ups and downs, fourth and fifth year was an utter disaster as they spent weeks crowding with the other girls in front of the bathroom mirrors moaning at the unsightly spots that had suddenly appeared on overnight.

They had bumbled together in their first foray into dating, conversing with each other about the mystery of boys. Then during fifth year Rowan entered her first serious relationship with Gideon Prewett, who was a Sixth Year, and Lily had entered her first serious relationship too, vicariously through her. Lily had steadfastly ignored James with a resolve that impressed Rowan.

Too bad she just happened to be mates with James.

Lily and Remus had managed to become quite good mates in their third year. They had been paired up for a Transfiguration Project and Lily found herself quite liking the quiet, polite mannered boy. Too bad he was friends with the three boneheads of the school.

Okay, so Sirius wasn't a total bonehead. Actually he was quite the opposite of what Lily often perceived him to be. And Remus wasn't one either to be fair. She then assumed that it was James' pigheaded acts that overshadowed his mates, something that didn't work in his favour.

James and Rowan became mates in a slightly less traditional way.

They had met each other in detention.

It was during their fourth year and James had pissed off Filch to new heights. He may or may have accidentally set off a whole package of Zonko's firecrackers in the Potions dungeon. Something that had caused utter disaster.

Filch and Professor Slughorn had sentenced him to polishing the school's awards and pledges by hand, no magic. Sirius also had detention, but he was forced to scrub the Hospital bedpans. Slightly bummed that he was to be separated from his best mate, James had trudged up the school's trophy room and had glumly waited for Filch.

Time was beginning to pass and James wondered briefly if some big cosmic joke had been played on him and he wouldn't have to serve his detention. Then he heard a great big racket.

"I said I was SORRY!" A voice protested.

"SORRY? YOU FILTHY LITTLE, YOU INFLICTED GREVIOUS DAMAGE TO THE CASTLE." Filch roared.

The voices began to become louder as they argued and then his eyes widened as he saw Filch tug a dark haired girl by her robes. He jerked her forward and his jowls quivered.

"For your antics Miss Forlani, you'll be cleaning the School's trophies and awards by elbow grease, NO MAGIC." Filch shouted.

Her eyes lit up. "We get to clean the muggle way? Awesome."

James didn't know if this chick was seriously off her rocker or not, or maybe she was being sarcastic. He wasn't so sure.

Filch's eyes nearly bugged out of his head when she said this. "Depraved, wicked girl. Thinks muggle ways are amazing…poor excuse for a witch…" he muttered as he stomped flat footed away from the them.

The girl rolled her eyes and grabbed a rag and a funny looking bottle with a nozzle and a handle. She energetically sprayed some of the cleaning formula on her rag and studied the puff of liquid with keen eyes.

"Here," she handed it to him.

"Thanks." James began to slowly run the damp cloth over a Special Service Award. She began doing the same with a big hunk of a trophy.

"What are you in for?" he asked after a moment of silence. It was rather dull to clean things without magic.

The girl pursed her lips and slid him a look. Then she resignedly said, "I may, or may have not done some home improvement to the castle and might have caused a huge hole to appear in Professor Trelawney's room."

James just looked at her and then he started laughing. The girl bit back a smile and then after a moment giggled herself.

"How the hell did you manage to do that?" he asked catching his breath.

She shrugged. "I was….experimenting with my wand I suppose and well…shit happens."

"Right, experimenting."

"So what are you in for?" she asked.

"Sirius and I set off an entire package of Zonko's firecrackers…in the dungeon." James replied.

She shook her head and grinned. "You and Sirius. Always keeping things interesting. He's your best mate no?"

"Yeah. How'd you know?" James asked surprised.

Her eyes twinkled. "You two are joined at the hip. Always together, even during class time. I'm actually kind of surprised he's not here too,"

"He's serving his detention in the Hospital Wing. Bedpans."

"Yuck." She wrinkled her nose.

"Yeap." He agreed.

They continued to scrub for a while. Then James remembered he hadn't introduced himself to her.

"I'd offer you my hand, but it's contaminated with cleaning fluid, I'm James Potter." He said.

"I know," she simply said.

James felt a little foolish at this. This girl looked familiar but he couldn't place a name to her face. He had seen her in the Common Room,; she was always with Lily.

She smiled and swiped a stray lock out of her face. "It's okay. I'm Rowan, Rowan Forlani."

"Lily's best mate?"

"And Destroyer extraordinaire," she finished grandly. James laughed.

Since then James and Rowan had talked to each other more often at the Breakfast Table, or in the Common Room. Then the talking turned to hanging out in the Common Room pulling all nighters on some homework. Couple some more detention sessions they had the pleasure of serving together and a friendship had been formed.

Sirius had not been too pleased to find that his best mate was spending more and more time with someone else, that too, a girl. Remus often teased him that Sirius was jealous that James had other friends other than him and Sirius used to mutter oaths about her.

Then one day he came up to his room to find James and Rowan hanging out listening to music very loudly.

It just happened to be his favourite band, The Velvet Underground.

He knew that James didn't really favour The Velvet Underground. So why on earth would he be listening to them?

There was only one explanation. She must happened to like them too.

Interesting.

"Hey," he said dropping his bag on the floor with a thud.

"Hey mate. How's it going?" James replied sitting up on his bed.

"As well as any bloody Thursday can get," he replied shortly.

"At least tomorrow's Friday," Rowan said from her seat on the window.

Sirius just looked at her and she gave him a shrug. Then she increased the volume of the gramophone.

"So you like The Velvet Underground huh?" he asked after a moment of awkwardness.

Rowan turned and looked at him. Sirius felt startled by her eyes. She had such big eyes.

"Yeah I do," she replied. "But I'm more a fan of The Clash and The Ramones."

"Didn't quite peg you as someone who'd be into punk," he commented easing himself against the window jamb that formed the window seat.

"What did you peg me for?" she asked bluntly.

James looked at them interestedly. This ought to be good.

Sirius fumbled for words. Then he ran a hand through his hair and said, "I don't know. Hi, my name is Sirius Black and I have this bad tendency of saying stupid things."

He stuck out his hand.

Rowan's eyes laughed as she shook her hand.

And just like that, they too became mates.

* * *

The year was 1976 now and the four golden boys of Hogwarts, affectionately known, (well three golden boys and Peter who was thought as of something akin to silver) as the Marauders and Rowan and Lily had become a close bunch of mates. Each of them had their strengths and weaknesses, and somehow, they all complimented each other in some way or another.

After many studying sessions, record listening, some magical mishaps and intense conversations about every topic under the sun, the group continued to get closer and now here they were entering their last year of magical education.

Sirius smiled at this thought as he studied Lily's face. She was asleep, her head nestled in Rowan's lap, and Rowan was asleep with her head on Peter's shoulder. She often claimed that Peter was perfect for leaning someone to lean their head on as he wasn't as tall as Sirius or James and didn't give the person a neck crick.

"Stop staring at my girl!" James jokingly said.

Sirius rolled his eyes and adjusted his seat to look at his mate. "So, remind me when's the wedding date again?"

"Shut up. This year I'm going to actually manage to convince her to see me as a proper human being. Capable of speaking in full sentences and everything."

"And how, may I ask, do you plan on doing that?" Remus asked sarcastically.

James leaned back against the seat and tapped his wand idly on his knee. "I'm just gonna give her space. Deflate my head a bit and hopefully, maybe she'll come to realise I'm not all that bad."

"She doesn't think you're bad," Sirius replied mildly. James gave him a sceptical look. He shrugged. "Rowan told me that Lily once told her that she didn't think you that terrible. She just finds you…"

"Childish? Immature? Pig headed?" James supplied.

Sirius didn't say anything for a minute. "I was going to say a little egotistical but it looks like you pretty much covered it,"

James chucked an empty sweet wrapper and him and Sirius grinned at his mate good-naturedly.

"I'm serious Prongs. She doesn't hate you. She just doesn't fancy you." Sirius added.

"But I'm head over heels in—"

"DON'T SAY IT!" Sirius warned loudly. He clamped his hands over his ears. Remus snorted.

"What? What's so bad about it?" James asked.

"James, you're not doing yourself a favour by admitting that you have bypassed fancying her to flat out being in love with her. You're just going to freak her out and then you're NEVER going to be able to talk to her. At least she talks to you, kind of…I guess, now."

James sighed and slumped down in his seat."I don't 'love' her, I just really, really, _really_ like her," he protested. Sirius messed up his already messy hair affectionately. "Don't' worry mate. Just…do what you said before, give her space, and maybe who knows? She may just change her mind about you."

"And if she doesn't?" James asked glumly.

"Then she's an idiot," Sirius replied loyally.

* * *

_A/N:So there you have it! I hope you liked it, please review. xoxoxo_


	2. Kicking off the Last Year

_A/N: Thought I'd pop another chappie up since I'm a little ahead and it's Friday. :) Enjoy, read and please let me know what you think. Cheers!_

* * *

The train ride was uneventful as they sped faster and faster through the countryside. Sirius couldn't sleep and kept himself busy studying his magazine about motorcycles. It was a muggle magazine that he had managed to secretly order before he ran away from home. It took him a little bit to get used to the fact that the pictures didn't move.

As the train began to reach its final destination they got up to go change into their Hogwarts robes. On his way back from the loo, Sirius found himself being taunted by a group of Slytherins. He let out a sigh and stared flatly into Avery Nott's face.

"Get your face out of my space," he simply said.

"Actually I think I should be saying that you, since you're the blood traitor," Nott sneered.

The inside of his cheek twitched and Sirius tightened his fingers around his wand in his pocket. He really didn't want to get into a confrontation right about now.

"Okay, maybe I'll try and ask nicely, _please_ get your face out of my space," Sirius said in a cool voice.

Nott took a step closer towards him and Sirius stood his ground. He leaned against the wall of the train.

"You ought to be ashamed of yourself," Nott spat at him. Sirius stared at him evenly. "Actually mate, I've never felt better about myself. I mean, I'm feeling like a whole new person. My soul seems to have been reincarnated and I have just gone to a whole new level of being," he said sarcasm dripping lusciously from his words.

Nott's features twisted in rage and he raised his wand. Avery, a death eater in training essentially, stepped forward as well. A nasty smile slid on his face.

"Oi! It's a little early to be looking so pissed right now, isn't it?" a light voice commented.

Rowan came up behind Sirius and she stepped forward. She took out her wand from her bun and she smiled at the Slytherins.

Avery's face twisted in fury. He hated this girl. She was a Romani. A dirty gypsy.

"Fuck off, gypsy girl," he snarled.

Rowan's eyes turned cold and she took a step forward, coming up nearly nose to nose with him. Now Sirius began to feel a little nervous.

Rowan had a temper. And she was very good with magic. A dangerous combination.

"Ro," he said in a slightly uneasy voice. She ignored him and cocked her head to the side.

"I suggest you leave now. You wouldn't want to me to continue to pollute your precious breathing space, with my dirty, filthy, gypsy breath wouldn't you?" she taunted.

Sirius mentally counted to ten in his head. _She wasn't going to do anything, she wasn't going to do anything, she wasn't going to do anything_ he chanted to himself.

"We should go you guys. Wouldn't want to loose points right before the term even started," a quiet voice said.

Nott, Avery, Sirius and Rowan looked at the source of the voice. It was Regulus, Sirius little brother.

Like his brother, he was dark haired, grey eyed. They shared the same sharp, angular features that made girls from all houses swoon at the sight of them. However unlike Sirius, he was smaller, slighter, more fragile looking.

He cast a dispassionate look at his house mates. Avery lowered his wand and growled. Whirling away he stomped off in the opposite direction. Nott followed him.

Regulus didn't say anything. Rowan appraised him with a quiet eye and Sirius gave his little brother a look that was hard to understand.

Regulus returned Sirius look with a distant one of own. Then he lowered his eyes and turned away from them. Sirius watched his back grow smaller and smaller and exhaled.

"Nothing like a bit off good drama to kick off the school year," he said.

"It's called good luck mate," Rowan winked at him before pushing him in the direction towards their compartment.

* * *

It wasn't until later when they were seated in the Great Hall waiting for the Sorting to begin that Sirius remembered how the Slytherins insulted her. He had never apologized for that or even acknowledged it. Smooth move git.

He turned towards her and opened his mouth to say something but then there a flirtatious giggle and a loud, "Hi Sirius!".

Whipping his head around he mentally duct taped the owner of the voice's mouth shut. It was Bertha Jorkins. A girl notorious for gossiping. She also had a piss poor excuse for a brain.

He waved two fingers at her and turned around again. Rolling his eyes he saw Rowan stare at him with an amused expression.

"What?" he grumbled.

"She loooooovvveeess you," she teased.

"Shut up. She doesn't love me."

"No, she does. Along with every other female specimen in this school," Rowan quipped.

Sirius shook his head. Then he remembered why he wanted to talk to her in the first place.

"Oi Rowan…I'm sorry for they said to you on the train," he said.

"Don't worry about it. You weren't the one who called me a dirty gypsy," she waved her hand.

"But still. It's just wrong how they treat everyone who aren't like them like scum. And it's bad enough with their pure blood mania, but going after people who are different ethnicities..." Sirius begun to ramble hotly.

"Sirius, do us all a favour and shut up! The Sorting is about to start," Lily hissed at him.

"Remind me why we care about the Sorting?" Rowan whispered to Remus. He bit back a smile and elbowed her side.

"Shit they're tiny," James remarked as he eyed the line of nervous looking First Years.

"You were once that tiny too Prongs," Peter reminded him.

"Surely I wasn't that tiny?" James tried to remember.

"I was taller than you," Sirius teased.

"Shut up. You're STILL taller than me." James huffed.

"You guys, shut up, otherwise I'll dock points from you!" Lily warned. Rowan rolled her eyes and whispered to Remus, "Looks like _she's_ gonna be taking her Head Girl duties _very_ seriously this year…"

After the Sorting Hat had finished prattling off its new song, the entire school watched as the new First Year got sorted.

Rowan found herself bored with the proceedings. She had never, particularly liked the Sorting Process. She also didn't particularly like kids. She adored babies, they were so cute and small. But once they started to talk…that's when Rowan ran as fast she could in the opposite direction.

And First-Year were bloody annoying. Always getting lost and loosing House points over the stupidest things. They also thought they could take over the comfy squashy arm chairs by the fireplace, which was a big no no. Everybody knew that those arm chairs were reserved for the Marauders and herself only, or those who happened to be insomniacs and had the Common Room to themselves.

Either way, every year there were some First Years who made the mistake of trying to repeatedly sit in those chairs and they somehow, almost always ended up getting pushed off them by someone older.

Okay so she happened to do most of the pushing. But she had the right to do so. It was her and the boys chair.

"WOOOHOOO WELCOME TO GRYFFINDOR!" James yelled slapping some of the new first year's on the back. He accidentally slapped one poor boy with too much gusto and the boy smacked his forehead on the table.

"Whoops, sorry there mate," he sheepishly said. The boy blushed furiously and mumbled something.

"You're going to be hearing that a lot from him," Remus told the young boy. Then he pointed at Rowan. "You'll be hearing that a lot from her too."

"Hey!" Rowan looked miffed. Then she took out her wand and waved it in the air, writing something.

WELCOME NEW GRYFFINDORS materialised in the air. It was made up of tiny, real flowers that were gold and red. Lily looked up at the ceiling appreciatively.

"That's so beautiful," she sighed.

"Thanks. Only took me three months to finally get it right," Rowan replied. The words faded as the blossoms began to gently fall over the table and onto people's head.

"Whoa, these are real?" James examined a red blossom interestedly.

"No James, they're fake. Obviously they're real you bonehead!" Sirius lightly rapped his mate on the head.

Remus smiled and handed Lily a golden blossom. She tucked it behind one ear and James looked at her, his lips threatening to quirk at her.

"What? I don't care if I look stupid." She said in annoyed voice.

James shook his head. "No I was going to say that it looks nice in your hair."

Lily felt a bit stupid. "Oh. Well. Erm. Thank you."

"Your welcome," James simply replied. He pushed his glasses up his nose and began to help himself to some of the food that had suddenly magically appeared on the table.

"MISS FORLANI!"

Rowan sighed and pressed her head down on the table. "Maybe if I don't look up, nothing will happen," she said in a muffled voice. Peter sniggered.

"Miss Forlani, get your head off the table!" the voice said again.

Resignedly Rowan lifted her head and spun around in her seat. She met the disgruntled face of Filch. She held up a hand. "I know, I know, detention right?"

"Tomorrow night. 8 pm here in the Great Hall." He snapped.

He hobbled off muttering under his breath. Rowan gave him the finger and returned to her food. The Marauders burst out laughing.

"This has got to be a record, even for you," Sirius sniggered.

"Shut up you lot." Rowan grumbled as she stabbed moodily at her potatoes.

Once they were fed and sated, the students became quiet as the watched their headmaster stand up. With twinkling eyes, Dumbledore spread his arms out wide.

"Welcome, to another year at Hogwarts. For some, it's the beginning of what I am sure, will be a long and sometimes chaotic at times journey. A few notices that you all need to know.

First Years, there's a reason why the Forbidden Forest is called the Forbidden Forest, it's strictly forbidden to everyone," he said sternly, his eyes flashed over towards the Marauders and Sirius bit back a smile.

"Also, there are some new additions to the list of banned objects this year that Mr. Filch has added, and this year Fanged Frisbees are included, along with Nose Biting Teacups and Inflatable Tongues."

The Marauders zoned out as Dumbledore continued to list the forbidden object. Rowan was doodling on the table with a pencil. Lily clucked her tongue but Rowan brightly showed her the other end of the pencil.

"And that's why pencils rule!" she proudly said as she erased her scribbles to demonstrate her point.

"And now I'd like to introduce you to the new staff that will be joining us!" Dumbledore announced.

The students gaze flickered towards the staff table and stared at some of the unfamiliar faces.

"As you all know Professor Merryweather had retired at the end of last year and this year we are pleased to have Professor Konstantin take over teaching Defence Against the Dark Arts."

Professor Konstantin stood up and waved a casual hand. Lily studied him interestedly. He looked young. Too young to teach. He was all dark hair and dark eyed with high cheekbones.

"Konstantin eh? Does that means he kills vampires by night and teaches by day?" James whispered. Rowan's shoulders shook.

"And taking over Arithmancy is Professor Villa," another male professor stood up. This one had a great bunch of curly locks that sprung out his head in a mad scientist kind of fashion.

"Oh man," Rowan groaned. She took Arithmancy and after several years of butting heads with the previous professor they had finally reached an agreement on her work ethic. Now she'd have to do it all over again.

"Those who wish to try out for the House Quidditch teams should pass their names along to their Heads of House as usual. They'll pass it along to the House Captains. We are also looking for Quidditch commentators who should do the same thing and inform their Heads of House." Dumbledore said.

An excited murmur rose from the crowd at the mention of Quidditch. James grinned smugly. Remus sighed. "Sometimes I think it's too dangerous for you to be Head Boy AND Quidditch Captain."

Dumbledore cleared his throat and the chattering died down. He abruptly switched gears.

"I think we all know that a person of the name Lord Voldemort," (Most of the school flinched except for the Slytherins and a couple of other people, including Sirius and Rowan). "And his followers are growing in numbers and in strength."

A feeling of strain settled in the Great Hall and Sirius' gaze flickered over to where Regulus was. He was staring impassively at the headmaster. Sirius directed his attention back to Dumbledore.

"I cannot tell you enough how dangerous these times are. There will be forces that will try to threaten, coerce and persuade you."

"Yeah, death eaters in training," Remus muttered.

"Security measures have been upped around the castle and stringent security rules have been implemented. Now I know this may seem irritating, but I beg of you to please abide by them and keep your eyes open for each other. I have faith in all of you, always that you care about your own and other people's safety and well being."

Dumbledore's eyes gazed at the solemn faces watching him. Then his face wrinkled as he smiled.

"And now, sleep beckons all of us, with all of its comfort and warmth of it's beds and I hope that all of you have made it a priority to be bright eyed for your lessons tomorrow. I bid you good night."

A great din of noise was made as the benches were scooted back and the students began to congregate out of the Great Hall towards the dorms.

James, Lily and Remus immediately sprang to their duties of Head Boy, Girl and Prefects. Rowan, Peter and Sirius hung back a little watching as the crowd began to thin.

"Heeeeeeeeeyyy Sirius!" a girl called out at him. She grinned big at him.

Sirius wanted to hide behind Peter or Rowan. But they were both smaller than him. He lifted a hand at the girl who burst into a fit of laughter. Once she exited Sirius exhaled and leaned his head on Rowan's shoulder. She patted the top of his head affectionately.

"Yes, yes, I know, it's terrible difficult being you," she teased.

"It is when you have a scary arse fan club who lack something very important, a brain!" he replied lifting his head off her shoulder.

"Man, I would do anything to get a girl to say something to me like that," Peter grumbled.

Rowan laughed. "Sirius, I have a serious question, don't laugh." Peter continued.

"Shoot,"

"How do you get a girl to say "hi" to you?" he asked bewildered.

Sirius' lips threatened to turn up but he managed to keep a straight face. He did ask him not laugh after all.

"Hurry up you three," McGonagall scolded them as she swept past them. Then she paused and looked at Rowan. She pursed her lips and looked over her glasses sternly.

"Miss Forlani, I hear you have detention tomorrow night," this was neither a question nor a statement.

"Yes Professor. Seems so." Rowan agreed.

"Mr. Filch wants you to meet him down here at eight pm sharp tomorrow. He says you'll be serving your detention down in the potion dungeons."

"Fantastic," Rowan replied glumly. Peter wrinkled his nose. The potions dungeons were an awful place to serve detention.

"Now get to you bed you three, Seventh Year workload is no laughing matter," McGonagall said.

The trio trooped out past her and started up a staircase. Then McGonagall's voice rang out.

"Miss Forlani,"

"Yes Professor?"

"Take five points for Gryffindor," McGonagall replied with a faint smile.

Rowan's eyes alighted with pleasure. Sirius and Peter grinned and high fived each other.

This year was off to a good start.

* * *

_A/N: Please review! :) xoxo_


	3. The First Day Of Our Last Year

_A/N: Thank you for the alerts and of course the reviews! I really appreciate them. And without further ado, there's the next installment. :) Enjoy, read and let me know what you think._

* * *

At breakfast the next morning, Sirius was piling his plate up with toast, eggs and a bit of bacon. Remus was reading, typical, and James was concentrating on reading then newspaper. Since when did James started reading newspapers still was news to Sirius, but he supposed it was just another tactic to get Lily to notice that in fact, he had deflated his head a bit over the summer a wee bit.

"Happy first last day!" Lily exclaimed cheerfully messing up Remus' hair as she plunked down beside him at breakfast the next morning. James looked wistfully at this and Remus gave him an apologetic shrug. He really did feel bad about it but he couldn't help it. It wasn't _his _fault that Lily happened to like him more as a human being.

"Happy first last day to you too," he replied smiling. He passed her a piece of toast and she applied a liberal amount of butter and jam on it.

"Where's Rowan?" Peter asked.

"Late. As usual." Lily replied as she scanned the front page of the _Daily Prophet_ that James had finished with. Since when did he read the _Daily Prophet_ was news to her too.

Rowan was sprinting down the numerous halls and staircases in effort to reach breakfast on time. She was starving and she was running so fast she barely noticed the people staring at her bewilderment. She loved running. But not when she was in a skirt and not when she was late, on her first day of term. Breathless she skidded to a stop, grabbing Sirius neck in effort to stop her from falling flat on her face.

"Ouch! Bloody hell woman." Sirius yelped massaging his neck. Catching her breath Rowan slid into the seat next to him and helped herself to some fruit while Sirius complained about severe neck damage.

"Relax Sirius, seriously. I just didn't want to topple over." She replied, now doling yogurt into bowl.

"Next time, use someone else as your braking device." He grumbled.

Rowan began to read the book she had taken out, _Being and Nothingness_, by Jean Paul Sartre and took out a pencil. Peter grinned bemusedly.

"A bit of light reading to start your day eh?" James remarked.

She looked up from her book, pencil poised in her hand. "Oh. Well ya know, I figure that if I start my days out with some reeeeaaaaly tough or abstract reading then I'm mentally prepared to take on whatever magical bullshit they throw at us on a daily basis."

"Huh? Peter asked confused.

"After trying plough through philosophy, believe me, magic looks to be a whole lot easier to comprehend," Rowan clarified.

She was so engrossed in trying to get through the second paragraph of her book (why couldn't Mr. Sartre speak in more simpler terms!) that she barely noticed Sirius groaning loudly and then startled a bit when he slung an arm around her waist.

"What in hell are you doing Sirius?" She asked furiously.

"Shut up shut up shut up, you're going to pretend to be my girlfriend for five minutes, give or take, just long enough to send those two bimboes back to their own table. Savvy?" He whispered as he pressed his face into the side of her neck, in what hoped look like a romantic position.

Swearing under her breath, Rowan struggled not to squirm. She was going to _kill_ Sirius once they had finished breakfast.

Even then, the two fifth year girls were not daunted seeing Sirius nuzzling some random chick. Clearing her throat, one of the girls asked "Err, Sirius?"

Groaning inwardly to himself, Sirius lifted his face from Rowans's neck and arranged his face in what he hoped conveyed a charming disposition. Sure he liked girls and everything, but he got tired of the brainless girls that chased after _him_.

A lot of people often misconstrued that Sirius was a skirt chaser extraordinaire, a ladies man, a Don Juan, skirt chaser aficionado, call him whatever term of endearment you please, but that simply wasn't true.

To put it frankly, Sirius was one, if not, the most handsome boy in the school currently, a position he earned after Fabian and Gideon Prewett passed out last year. Girls simply chased after him like wild.

Sirius did _not_ care for this that much. He dated, but not with abandon, in fact he was rather choosy with the girls he went out with and he never dated longer than about two months because then they started encroaching on his space and hating on Lily and Rowan and he would **not** put up with that. He valued Lily's and Rowan's friendship much more than any snogging session with a pretty girl. Kisses came and went, and in his case, they were more than readily available from some random girl, but Lily and Rowan's presence was something that was hard to earn and even harder to retain.

That being said, Sirius was very nice to all the girls who tried to capture him, before turning them away or making their day. Either way he held a charming disposition that just made him more attractive. The fact that he wasn't a total jackass to girls made Lily and Rowan respect him a little more.

"Morning ladies, can I help you?" He asked all charm.

"We were wondering if you were currently involved or seeing someone at the moment, cos if you weren't, we were wondering you were going with anyone to the Halloween Ball."

Rowan opened her mouth stunned, she looked at Lily as if asking "_What is this? These girls are so sad_."

Lily was obviously thinking the same thing, wrinkling her nose in disgust and nudging Rowan's foot under the table. "_Pathetic_" Lily mouthed to her best mate.

"Definitely pathetic, even I'm not pathetic enough to ask an ex-boyfriend if he'll ever take me back" Rowan muttered. Remus chortled at this slightly and gave a light slap on his mate's back. "Glad to find out you hold high standards." He whispered into her ear before straightening and watching Sirius struggle with the two girls.

Sirius was getting annoyed. He tighter his arm around Rowan's waist and drew her even nearer to him. "Well sorry girls, I'm currently trying to involve myself with this woman," he gestured towards Rowan, "So you'd best be asking elsewhere."

Disappointed the younger girls departed and Sirius breathed a sigh of relief. He pressed a kiss against Rowan's cheek in thanks. "I owe you one love,"

"Sirius Black, I am _so_ going to kill you the minute we leave this hall." She replied evenly. Sirius laughed and then turned to James and exclaimed "WHAT THE HELL IS WRONG WITH THESE GIRLS. It's not even the first day and the Halloween ball is already brought up! Augh!"

"Yes, Sirius, it must be terrible to be you." Remus said dryly.

"Look sharp, here are your new timetables!" McGonagall announced passing them sheets of parchment.

"Holy mother of Merlin, look at what we have today!" Sirius groaned.

"What?" Rowan leaned across the table.

"Double Potions, Arithmancy, Double Defence Against the Dark Arts and Transfiguration. Slughorn, the mad scientist new teacher, the new teacher the vampire slayer AND McGonagall. ON A MONDAY."

"Yeeessh," Rowan made a face.

"I have History of Magic," Peter commented glumly.

"What do you have first Ro?" Remus asked peering over her shoulder.

"Free period which means I'm gonna get to sleep in on Mondays, Wednesdays and Fridays." She replied smugly.

"Oi you need to eat breakfast!" Lily said.

"Not during Seventh Year. Sleep more important. ANYHOO, after that apparently I have Arithmancy and then Defence Against the Dark Arts and Transfiguration."

"Jealous," Peter muttered.

"No you're not. N.E.W.T. Arithmancy is no joke," Rowan solemnly replied. James took her timetable from her and examined it.

"Looks like you've got Muggle Studies, Charms and…_Alchemy_?" he said the last word with bewilderment.

"Alchemy?" Remus echoed. Rowan nodded.

"Since when have you been studying Alchemy?" Sirius asked amazed.

"Since it was introduced as a optional special elective if there were enough students interested in taking it last year. Plus Dumbledore personally recommended it to me."

"Whoa Dumbledore personally recommended it to you?" Peter asked mightily impressed.

She didn't say anything but continued to eat her breakfast. "Remind me why you're not suffering Double Potions with us? You got a "O" on your O.W.L." Lily asked.

"YOU GOT AN O?" James cried out.

Rowan flushed and tugged at her bun. "After killing myself studying for it. I hate potions, that's why I chose not to pursue it at the N.E.W.T level."

"She also got an "O" in Herbology, Transfiguration, Charms, DADA, Muggle Studies and Artithmancy," Lily added.

"My god why are you still even here?" Peter asked.

"I also got a P in History of Magic, Divination, and Astronomy. No wait, I got a "D" in Divination actually." Rowan corrected.

The boys stared at her. Lily held back a laugh.

"Wait, so you're telling me, that on one end, you received seven "Outstanding" OWLS…and failed three subjects at the same time? How does that even work?" James asked dumbfounded.

She shrugged. "I studied for the subjects I cared about or what I saw as the most important ones, or the ones that might help me land a job…once I figure out what exactly what I want to do with my life…and I didn't for the others. Why the hell would I need History of Magic for?"

"Magical Law enforcement?" Sirius quipped.

"Well lucky for me I have no intention of becoming lawyer. Or a judge. I'd be terrible at that." She said decidedly. Sirius snorted.

The bell rung signalling the beginning of lessons, Remus looked down at his timetable and then glanced over at Lily's, as if he checked one more time, he wouldn't have Potions first thing on a Monday morning. "Time for school children, we've got Potions to head off to." He announced getting up and swinging his schoolbag over his shoulder. Lily jumped to her feet as well and Rowan got up resignedly following the group out of the hall.

But before they split off into their respective directions, she reached into her bag and took out her Arithmancy textbook. Catching Sirius off guard, she landed some well-placed blows on him while calmly saying "Sirius. ..World's. Biggest. Git. . Grope."

"Bloody hell get off me!" Sirius shouted trying to duck Rowan's advanced. No such luck, she knew exactly what she was doing. Smirking a bit she gave one last blow to his knees, sending him buckling. He glowered at her and she smiled calculating at him.

He huffed in annoyance at her. She stuck out a hand and he accepted it as he got to his feet gingerly.

"Nothing better to start your day than by getting your ass kicked by a girl," he commented dryly.

"You know it Black. So think twice before you EVER think of using me as a repellent against others girls in this school."

"Duly noted."

After suffering an hour and a half of a particularly tricky Potions class the group wearily exited the dungeons. Slughorn had set them a fiddly, complicated potion to refresh their summer brains. Lily's hair had grown two sizes larger than it originally was thanks to the humidity of the potions fumes.

"I hate my hair," she grumbled yanking it back in a sloppy bun. She scowled as she stomped up the stairs. Remus chuckled.

"At least your cauldron didn't explode after adding bitter root." He said sliding a look at James.

"It was an accident!" he protested. Sirius rolled his eyes.

"With you, everything is an 'accident'" Remus snorted.

"I'lll see you lot at lunch. Time to tackle the Mad Scientist," Sirius yawned as he started up a staircase.

"Good luck mate," James called after him.

Sirius strolled leisurely towards the Artihmancy classroom. Along the way he passed by a bunch of Sixth Year Ravenclaw girls who burst into a fit of laughter upon seeing him. One girl who hadn't laughed, half smiled at him. "Cheers Sirius," Leila Greene said as she passed him.

Sirius merely nodded and continued on his way. It was only the first day and he had already had his ass kicked by Rowan, suffered through Potions and was exhausted. He wasn't really in the mood to put up with girls who were incapable of saying anything other than "hello" or laughing.

He found Rowan sitting outside the classroom opposite the queue of standing students. She had her feet stretched out in front of her and was studying a number chart.

"Hey," he nudged her foot with his own. She looked up at him and smiled.

"What took you so long to get here?" she asked.

"Fan club."

"Oh." Enough said.

"BLOOD TRAITOR!" a voice yelled. Sirius whipped around and mentally swore to himself.

Looks like the man who ran the world was out to sink him, on his very first day. They apparently, shared Arithmancy with the Slytherins as well. All four houses in one class session. Goodie.

"Ah yes at but at least he's a good looking 'blood traitor'." Rowan commented rising to her feet. A small smirk appeared on the corner of her face as she studied the Slytherins.

This time it was Cecilia Neufield who had started it. A rude, nasty specimen of a girl.

"Stay out of this gypsy girl." She spat.

Rowan rolled her eyes and took out her wand. Sirius wisely took a step backwards and leaned against the wall. Might as well make himself comfortable if there was a showdown.

"I have a name you know. It's Rowan. But you can call me "Your Highness" because apparently, you only know half of my real name, which is the Gypsy QUEEN." Rowan continued.

Several people standing in line chuckled at this. Benjy Fenwick, a fellow Seventh Year Ravenclaw studied Rowan with interested eyes.

"How dare you think to call yourself that…you're really no better than a House Elf." Cecelia sneered.

Rowan's eyes glinted with anticipation. Verbal sparring was nothing more than a source of amusement.

"You really ought to get some new lines to repeat. You're beginning to sound like a broken record." She coolly said.

Two unsightly splotches of red appeared on Cecelia's cheek. She raised her wand.

"Wands away please! This is Arithmancy, no need for wands in this class!" a cheerful voice called out. Rowan turned on her heel and saw Professor Villa sticking his head outside the door. His curly hair sprung out madly and he looked like a mad scientist. She grabbed her book bag and threw Cecelia one last dismissive look and waited for the queue to enter the classroom.

"This isn't over Forlani," Cecelia hissed as she slunk past her.

"Oh goody. Looking forward to it." She replied to her back.

* * *

_A/N: Confession: I have great pleasure writing Slytherin chacacters. It's fun to indulge in writing evil characters, so expect quite a bit them in part II in this fic if we ever get there. **Please review! xoxoxoxoxo**_


	4. Lessons

_A/N: **Thank you** so much for your alerts, support and reviews! And for the record, this story is rated M for language and violence once they get out of school, not smut. I don't write smut cos that's not my cuppa tea. Part I of this fic is their Seventh Year which is a coming of age story so I'll hope as we go on you'll find some instances where you can relate to. :) ANYWAY! Enjoy, read and let me know what you think._

* * *

Once settled into their seats Sirius tapped Rowan on the shoulder from across the aisle.

"What?" she whispered.

"You do know I can take care of myself right?" he replied.

"I know. But I figured after suffering through Double Potions you could use a little break," she answered.

Sirius smiled to himself. She was a good mate.

"All right. Now that we're sufficiently settled in these poor excuses for a chair…they're a bit hard on the rear end if I do say so myself…let me be all annoying and call out everyone names to make sure you're all here and I'm not dreaming this or anything…" Professor Villa said. The class tittered as his little ramble. He leaned against his desk and started rattling off names.

"Sirius Black?"

"Here," Sirius waved a hand. Villa nodded at him.

Sirius tuned himself out and took out his new Arithmancy book. Cracking it open he scanned the table of contents.

"Rowan Forlani?"

"Awake and conscious," she quipped. Some of the Hufflepuffs laughed. Sirius bit back a grin.

Rowan was eccentric, to put it mildly. When Sirius first became mates with her he wasn't quite sure if she was all there in the head. Sometimes she wouldn't speak to anyone at all and shut herself up in the library or the dormitory and isolate herself. Then sometimes she would go through these periods where she would engage in some highly reckless, but entertaining activities. During their fifth year she had shut herself up in the library and seldom slept for more than five hours in the last half of term whilst studying for the OWLS. Sirius wondered how she didn't collapse from her lack of sleep. If anything she just seemed more alert.

Her moods would swing wildly. Not just in matter of weeks or days, sometimes they would turn in hours. In the beginning of their friendship it had left Sirius completely confounded and then he gradually got used to it. It became normal for him to know how her moods swung hour to hour.

Sirius had spent enough waking hours sitting across from her studying, eating meals, engaging in conversation and in general, hanging out, to know that Rowan's eyes were the key into reading her. Her eyes dominated her face and were extremely expressive. Everything you needed to know, if you knew her, could be inferred from them.

James had first laughed his head off when Sirius accidentally said this thought out loud. Then Remus had gotten himself involved in this and had suggested for them to pay attention to her eyes the next time they spoke to her.

So they did and James had realised that Sirius' crazy theory was in fact not crazy. Sirius had felt a faint tug of pride when he realised he could read her eyes better than James could, even though she became mates with James first.

He snapped his attention away from her and focused on the teacher. Apparently he had been saying something. Oops.

"As I was saying…this year will be particularly taxing on you lot. N.E.W.T's are no joke, especially Arithmancy. It's going to take a lot of dedication, studying and practice to pass your N.E.W.T. Now all of you must have done reasonably well in your O.W.L's to have been continuing with Arithmancy to this level. Now if you could please open your book to Chapter One and take out your numerology chart…"

Sirius, Rowan and the rest of the class emerged at the end of class with a gobsmacked expression on their faces.

"He wants two numerology charts filled and for us to memorise the Agrippan chart?" Sirius said as they made their way down to lunch.

"No on said this year would be easy…"

"And you're an idiot! Why are you taking six N.E.W.T. level classes?" Sirius asked as he slid down a banister.

Rowan strolled down the stairs. "I'm not. I'm taking four. Muggle Studies and Alchemy aren't offered N.E.W.T. level subjects. Muggle Studies..well for the most part no one really takes it seriously…and Alchemy is an extremely specialised subject. So specialised that you can't be tested in it because you either understand it and can interpret the abstraction of it…or you can't."

Sirius just looked at her. Then he made an "L" with his thumb and pointer finger. "You are such a LOSER."

"I prefer the term geek, thanks," Rowan sarcastically replied. She lightly slapped the back of his head as she stepped off the last step.

* * *

After a hurried lunch with everyone else the gang sat through Defence Against the Dark Arts and Transfiguration. Both professors echoed the grim sentiments that N.E.W.T's needed serious practice, studying and application and more practice. The new professor in DADA, Professor Konstantin had begun the class by stating right off the bat that no, he was not a vampire hunter, and by the way, they deserve full magical recognition as well, after all, they had been witches or wizards once too.

Then they had proceeded to review non verbal defence spells. Sirius had a hard time waking up his sluggish brain from summer vacation. On the other hand, Rowan had no difficulty in sending a fellow Ravenclaw toppling backwards with one wave of her wand.

"Seriously, do you practice magic all the time?" Sirius asked exasperated as they sat in Transfiguration. They were reviewing Elenor Wimblebee's principle of object to species Transfiguration.

He pointed his wand at his goblet. They were supposed be turning their respective inanimate object into a rabbit.

So far he had been unsuccessful. Rowan spared him a glance. "Point your wand a little sharper, focus your mind."

"Well why don't you bloody do it?" he retorted.

She raised an eyebrow and without even looking at her teacup, she pointed her wand sharply at it. A rabbit appeared.

James sniggered. "Served!"

"I despise you." Sirius growled. He tried to focus his mind once more and pointed his wand.

"Well…it's a start…" Remus said encouragingly. The goblet now had a pair of ears.

"Screw you! Why did I ever sign up to take N.E.W.T. level Transfiguration?" Sirius threw up his hands.

"Because you wanted to be an Auror," James reminded him.

"No…that was _you_. I chose that because you told me too and said we would conquer the OWLs and NEWTs together." Sirius cynically replied.

"Oh. Well I figured it be better to fail in style, together." James said. He concentrated on his teapot and waved his wand.

"Not bad Mr. Potter," McGonagall commented as she passed them. James beamed. "Mr. Black I suggest you concentrate more on your Goblet and less on your friends." She sternly added.

Sirius waited until she had passed them and then scowled. He pointed his wand again at his Goblet and said "_Lapifors_,"

Well now the goblet had a pair of hind legs as well as a pair of ears. An improvement.

"Keep trying," Remus said encouragingly. He turned to his own goblet that had legs and a furry exterior. It still didn't have a face or ears yet.

"Miss Forlani…Transfiguration isn't to be used for pleasure reading…" McGonagall scolded as she passed them again.

Rowan looked up from her Transfiguration book. "But…I'm reading stuff…for this _class_…" she said a little bewildered. How could she_ possibly_ be getting in trouble for this?

"You should be concentrating on your teacup."

"You mean my rabbit?" Rowan asked cheekily.

McGonagall's lips threatened to upturn but she managed to keep her face stern. Her eyes twinkled though. "Well done. Now..let's see if you could revert it to it's original form…"

Towards the end of their Sixth Year, they had been covering Untransfiguration. It was an extremely tricky branch of Transfiguration and the students had driven themselves bonkers trying to understand the principles of it. Rowan herself had had some trouble in applying the concepts of it properly. Last May she had accidentally changed her bird that was originally a teacup into stone, and had accidentally fused it to the desk. When she tried to undo her mistake she ended setting the desk on fire.

McGonagall wasn't pleased.

Chewing her lip thoughtfully Rowan grasped her wand and studied her rabbit.

"Oh man she's going to set something on fire again," Peter said fearfully. He shoved his books in his bag in anticipation.

She ignored this and pointed her wand. "S_ofipal_"

The goblet reappeared, twinkling dully in the weak afternoon sunlight.

Lily grinned and Rowan idly tapped her wand on the Goblet. Then it turned into a rabbit again.

"Ten points for Gryffindor." McGonagall said with one of her rare smiles.

"Nicely done Ro," Remus commented. He pointed his wand at his teacup again.

"Show off, "Sirius teased. His goblet/rabbit ran off the desk and promptly shattered to the floor.

"Five points from Gryffindor!" McGonagall commented behind her back.

"Sirius!" Lily said reproachfully.

"What? It's not my fault she has eyes in the back of her head!" he protested.

"Careful Mr. Black, do you want me to take all the points Miss Forlani earned?"

"Sorry!"

"You're such a prat," James sniggered.

"You love me anyway," Sirius said waving his wand to repair his teacup.

"What do we have tomorrow? I seemed to have misplaced my timetable…" Rowan said at dinner that night.

"_Already_? Rowan, it's the first day!" Lily chided.

"Actually it's the end of the first day. AKA school is over!" Rowan corrected.

"I think...you may or may not have Muggle Studies…" Peter said through a mouthful of potatoes.

"You have Alchemy," a voice said.

Rowan turned to the side and saw her other roommate, Marlene McKinnion. The blonde smiled at her. Rowan returned her smile with one of her own.

"Thanks! You're gonna be ploughing through it too with me right?" Rowan asked.

"You betcha!" Marlene cheerfully replied. Remus bit back smile at her voice.

"How's the first last day treating ya?"

"Fine I guess. Fine as it could with Transfiguration, DADA and Ancient Runes in one day… what are you gonna do?" she replied.

"Throw yourself into the lake?" James suggested.

Marlene laughed and Lily tried very hard to not laugh. Then her eyes widened at this. Since when did she think James was funny?

"No…I think I'll do that at the end of the week…that way I won't have to turn in my Ancient Runes Essay then…" Marlene replied once her laughter subsided.

"Hey!" Marlene looked up and smiled at the newcomer. It was Caradoc Dearborn, her boyfriend of the last five months.

"Evening you lot," he nodded in the Marauder's direction. James and Sirius returned his greeting. Remus' eyes darkened however at the sight of him. Marlene waved goodbye to them and moved off to sit with Caradoc and his mates, leaving Remus looking wistfully at the back of her head.

* * *

"Remember the good old days when we were first years had nothing to do on the first day of school?" Lily sighed.

The group was situated around the fireplace in their favourite squashy armchairs.

"Remember when we were also first years and had Friday afternoons off?" Peter said wistfully.

"Remember when we were first years and we could never sit in these chairs?" Rowan grumbled. She looked at her DADA textbook woefully and yanked a piece of parchment out of her bag.

"_Describe the Advantages and Disadvantages of Using Non Verbal Spells in Direct Combat," _she wrote in neat cursive.

She stared at the parchment for a moment. Then she leaned against the chair and closed her eyes. It was only the end of the first day and already she felt exhausted.

"Man we have a lot of homework!" James exclaimed stacking his textbooks in a pile.

"Any theory on how we should accomplish all of it?" Peter asked secretly hoping he could copy off someone.

"Divide and conquer, then copy off each other?" Sirius supplied.

Lily shook her head. She dipped her quill into her inkpot and started to write across her piece of parchment.

"How about we actually do our own work, and then reference Lily and Rowan for corrections?" Remus offered. He grinned at the two girls. Rowan snorted inelegantly at this.

"How about instead of all that, we engage in some Exploding Snap, as loudly as possible to ensure maximum distraction for everyone…AND then tackle the mountain of homework." James said decidedly.

The boys looked at each other. Then Sirius nodded. "I like that idea!"

"Honestly…James you ought to know better…it's your last year and your Head Boy…" Lily said in a lofty voice.

James rolled his eyes. He agreed to himself to give her space. He did _not_, however, agree to change his ways entirely.

"I'm in," Rowan decided. She shoved her books off the table and Peter woo-hooed.

"Well I'm going to the library," Lily huffed collecting her things.

"Lily you're the smartest girl in our year, you can afford to take an hour off from your homework," James said in effort to change her mind.

"No, I can't." she replied shortly.

Rowan exchanged a look with James and felt a little bad to see him a little disheartened.

"Well Lillian, it's your loss. We're going to be engaging in an EPIC battle of Exploding Snap." Rowan said flexing her fingers.

"Yes well I'm sure that'll come in handy when you finally decide what you want to do with your life," Lily dryly said. She made her way to the Portrait Hole.

"At least I'll have LIVED some of my life instead of burying myself in books!" Rowan called to her back.

"At least I'll be more successful at life than you'll be!" Lily yelled back.

"Betcha ten galleons on it!" Rowan hollered.

"YOU'RE ON!" Lily screamed just as the Portrait Hole closed.

* * *

_A/N: Recognise any familiar names? ^^ **I would love if you reviewed!** xoxoxo_


	5. Magic is Power

_A/N: **Thank you so much for the amazing support, reviews and alerts,** and thank you so much for helping me catch mistakes (like uploading the same chapter twice *face palm*). I don't know what I would do without you guys. So this chappie is more about Rowan and is a flashback towards their Sixth Year as a heads up. Also, some important groundwork about her character is established here that'll play an important part in Part II of this fic. Enjoy and let me know what you think. Stay awesome people!_

* * *

Rowan was terrible at Astronomy. She was dreadful at History of Magic. And she couldn't for the life of her, divine anything from the practices of Divination. She struggled with Potions and Herbology often became a life or death situation on a daily basis when she was studying it.

But she was, by all means, a brilliant witch.

In magic, there were different types of smart. You could be book smart and become an accomplished Witch or Wizard by studying and memorizing principles and then pronouncing incantations. You could be logically smart and understand how exactly the magical principles and properties worked so as to be able to apply them in different forms, and truly understand the power of magic. You could be smart from experience and practice and having a knack for learning.

Then you could be innately smart when it came to magic.

Rowan liked to create. She enjoyed drawing, especially diagramming technical things, but it wasn't something she was passionate about.

She liked to create magic.

All spells had come from someone. And so, she had reasoned, why not try and make up her own spells?

It made her toes curl with the potential of expanding her magical capabilities, of broadening magic itself. The possibilities were endless and there seemed to be no limits in sight once you understood the limitations imposed on certain practices such as in Transfiguration. She got an adrenaline rush when it came to conjuring up new concepts and then experimenting in the tangible development of it. When she finally perfected a spell or a charm, she felt a power trip surge through her.

It was the idea that the there was no horizon to the potential that appealed to her the most.

She had a clever and strange mind. Abstract material came easily to her, but she couldn't map out a star chart, even though it was quite straight-forward. She liked to read philosophy because it was so abstract and it helped her understand how to interpret material.

Sirius often teased her and called her a geek, but she knew he joking, most of the time. Not many people knew about what she liked to do. She kept it to herself, preferring to exude the image of the perpetually lost in a daydream kind of student.

Spell creation was highly dangerous and one tended to suffer through many injuries and there possibility of death wasn't a joke either. Over the years Rowan had sustained a numerous amount of injuries through her experimentation and had developed quite a good rapport with the Hospital Wing.

It took her professors six years to figure out why, exactly, she kept landing up in the Hospital Wing. Then one night when she had broken her ribs after being blasted backwards from a force of spell she was developing, Dumbledore himself came to visit her.

"You appear to be a great patron of the Hospital Wing," he said mildly.

"Erm…yeah. I mean, yes, I suppose I am." She replied. She wasn't sure she why she chose to use proper grammar now. It must be because the Headmaster himself had come to see her. After all, he still was a teacher. Or something like that.

"Would you care to tell me how you sustained this injury?" He asked after a moment.

_No. _

That was her first thought. Her second thought was that her mind needed to shut up and choose her words very carefully because she didn't want to be kicked out of school.

"I was practising some magic." She finally answered.

Dumbledore's eyes studied her. She squirmed a bit and then winced remembering her still healing ribs. She felt as if she was being X-Rayed.

"I see. There were several scorch marks on the desks. And the blackboard was shattered." He commented.

"I'm very sorry about that." She apologized.

"Miss…Forlani I'm going to go out a limb here and assume that you weren't practising magic that you knew," he finally said. He leaned back in his seat and folded his hands.

Rowan stared ahead of her at the opposite site of the room. Snapping her eyes to him she admitted, "No I wasn't."

"Miss Forlani… you know the rules. The practice of Dark Magic is strictly prohibited. If you were engaging the Dark Arts,"

"I wasn't practising Dark Magic," she brusquely said. Her eyes stared hard at her Headmaster.

"I see. What was it then?" Dumbledore asked.

"I was practising something of my own. I was experimenting." She said tonelessly.

"Experimenting?"

"I like to…develop…magic…however stupid that sounds." Rowan finally said. She looked defiantly at him.

"That's highly dangerous." Dumbledore said after a moment.

"It is," she agreed.

"You could die," he solemnly added.

"I know. Don't worry, I do not have any suicidal tendencies. This is not a cry for attention." Rowan said.

"Then why do you do it?"

She looked up at the ceiling and played with her wand. "Because, I like that fact that there are all these possibilities…waiting to be found and brought to life."

"Possibilities?" Dumbledore echoed.

"Yes. There's so much potential in magic Professor…my mind…it's kind of weird I guess. I just…I think of things, and then I try to envision how it could be applied in the magic form. I mean, I understand the concepts, principles and limitations of magic, but it excites me, getting to bend and apply those rules in order to expound limits…" she rambled.

Dumbledore studied her for a moment. "You seem very passionate about…developing magic."

"It's the only thing I truly care about," Rowan said in a strong voice.

"Why?"

"Because…I just told you….there's…just so much to be discovered and brought to life. It's the process and act of creating that excites me. I just…can't sit still and not think of magic." She said in a fervent voice.

Dumbledore digested this. He hadn't come across a student like this in quite awhile. The last student who had talked so passionately about magic turned out to be the darkest wizard in over a century. He treaded carefully.

"And…what kind of things do you enjoy developing?" He asked.

"Defensive spells mostly…Transfiguration is a bit tricky since there are so many rules…but right now I'm better at developing Charms and hexes."

"So the Dark Arts does not interest you?"

"I wouldn't say it doesn't interest me. I am interested in it, but for a very different reasons. I feel that in order to fully understand magic, I need to understand all types of magic. I read up on the Dark Arts because it's important to know what already exists and whether or not I may be able to develop something to counter it if something doesn't exist." She replied.

"I see."

"Plus," she continued. "There's the whole ethical side of the Dark Arts. Generally speaking, the Dark Arts has always been considered wrong, or corrupting because people often use it to inflict pain or harm on others.

But, this is the thing Professor. At the same time, the Dark Arts aren't wholly considered "evil". I think, theoretically speaking of course, dark magic can be used for good as well as evil. Even the Killing Curse, theoretically speaking, may be used for good under some contexts. Again, the Dark Arts have a reputation for being bad, but it lacks the definition of evil tacked on to it." She said in a candid tone.

Dumbledore stared at her and she squirmed again. She was surely going to be thrown out of school for this.

"Miss Forlani I believe you received seven "Outstanding" O.W.L.s" he suddenly said changing subjects.

"Erm yes. I believe I did…" she replied taken aback.

"Madam Marchbanks commented on your Transfiguration exam…she said you performed some complex magic…"

Rowan shrugged. "I just focus my energy and mind professor…can't really tell you that much…I don't even know myself."

"Have you always been so interested in magic?" he asked.

"I've always been interested in creating…it wasn't until Third year where we came upon practising Switch Spells I became seriously engaged in studying the concepts of magic in order to invent it. Until I just read a lot about it."

"I see. You'd do well to consider trying out for the Barnabus Finkley Prize for Exceptional Spell-Casting during your seventh year. Just a thought."

"That what?" Rowan asked confused.

"It's an award for young witches and wizards who show an exceptional talent for spell casting. You might want to consider entering the competition. It takes place at the end of the seventh year at the Wizarding Courts."

"Oh. Well. Um. Thanks. Perhaps I will." She said a little confused.

"And might I suggest you be a little more careful when you're alone practising your magic? Perhaps get a partner whose nearby to aid you in case something goes wrong?"

"I'll think about it. But to be honest Professor I think it'd be safest if I was the _only_ one who continued to be the great patron of the Hospital wing."

* * *

Professor Dumbledore had left her alone since then and she had a strong feeling that he might have told the other teachers about her extracurricular activities. Since the last half of their Sixth Year her teachers had started to overlook the mishaps or minor explosions that occurred on a daily basis in class or whenever she was practising magic. James wondered why she seemed to be getting less detentions, even if she was still causing scorch marks to appear on surfaces and causing objects to combust randomly.

When he had asked her this, she was at a loss for words. Rowan had never told anyone exactly what she liked to do. Her mates knew that she loved to read, fiction and non fiction and that she could, she spent an awful amount of time in the library, for fun, which shocked Sirius.

But she had never explicitly told them that she developed magic.

Perhaps because James was her close friend and maybe it was because they had become mates by sharing so many detentions, but Rowan had quietly confided in him that she invented magic.

"You invent spells?" he said awestruck.

"I _try_ and invent spells," she corrected.

"What have you invented so far?"

"Um…_baubillious_," she said off the top of her head. James toppled backwards to avoid getting his hair singed by the bright white lightening bolt that had suddenly erupted from the tip of her wand.

"Good god!" James exclaimed. He cautiously got up.

"Sorry, first one that came in my hand," she replied sheepishly.

James looked at her with bright eyes. "What are some other ones?"

"Um..I decided to upgrade the _bombarda_ spell…so now it's _bombarda maxima_…"

"Oooo that sounds devious!" James said gleefully. "Bomba—"

"DON'T." Rowan snatched his wand out of his hand."

"What?" James exclaimed.

"Believe me, that spell is not to be used lightly. The regular _bombarda _creates a minor explosion, _bombarda maxima_ creates an explosion that can take down entire walls."

"ENTIRE WALLS?" James shouted.

"Will you shut up you great big prat?" Rowan said in an exasperated voice.

"Oh no, what did James do now?" Sirius asked coming down the Boy's Staircase.

The pair of them whipped their heads and stared at their mate. Sirius looked suspiciously at them.

"Was James hitting on you?" Sirius asked.

"What? NO." James exclaimed. Sirius bit the inside of his cheek and lightly rapped his mate's head with his wand.

"Okay so what's up?" Sirius asked.

"Rowan was just—" James lost his voice. He glared at Rowan. The girl put a silencing charm on him, non-verbally. Bitch.

"Rowan was what?" Sirius asked narrowing his eyes.

"We were just talking about magic." She said.

"If something is going on between you two I'd like to know right now!"

"Ugh Sirius, nothing is going on between us, believe me. Right James?" Rowan rolled her eyes.

James however did not deny or confirm this. Rowan's eyes cut through him.

"Well seems like James isn't denying this…" Sirius flicked his wand at his mate and James began to talk.

"Nope. We were actually talking about going on date," James said sliding a retaliatory glare at Rowan.

"Oi! You know that's not true." Rowan said loudly.

"What's not true?" another voice asked.

Lily had climbed through the Portrait Hole after studying in the library. She found her roommate engaged in a heated discussion with Tweedle Dee and Tweedle Dum. James was Tweedle Dum. Sometimes, she honestly wondered why Rowan was friends with them. No, actually she wondered why Rowan was friends with James. Sirius wasn't _as _bigheaded as James.

"Nothing. Apparently, James asked Rowan on date." Sirius said sliding a look at his red-headed mate.

Silence. Lily looked at the pair of them. Rowan shook her head. "Uh huh. Well if that's what floats your boat then," she said in a neutral voice.

"LILY! You know I'm not dating James nor do I have any intention of dating the egotistical, dumbass!" Rowan threw her arms out exasperated.

"Oi!" James said miffed.

"YOU'RE THE ONE WHO STARTED THIS FARCE!" Rowan shouted turning on him. She slapped her hands on her hips and Sirius began to laugh. Lily plopped down in an armchair and watched the pair. They were a great source of entertainment.

"Will you quit being a baby and just fess up? It's so cool!" James ran a hand through his hair.

A pregnant pause followed this.

"I despise you James Prongs Potter!" Rowan growled.

James snorted. Sirius just looked at her. "Prongs Potter?"

"All right so I don't know his middle name!" Rowan gestured with a hand.

"What is it?" Lily asked before stopping herself.

Sirius glanced at his mate. James hadn't told anyone his middle name. Ever. Not even Sirius knew it.

But since it was Lily who had asked, Sirius had a feeling that he was about to inform them of it now.

"Ignotus." James finally said not looking at Lily.

Rowan stifled a laugh. "Ignotus?"

"It's a family name," James mumbled. He looked at Sirius defiantly.

"What?" Sirius asked raising his hands up. "I'm not laughing!"

"Neither am I." Rowan chimed in.

"Nor am I," Lily added. James collapsed in an armchair. "Don't you dare go around telling people that!"

"James Ignotus Potter….man…what a name," Sirius decided.

"Shaddup you git."

"Okay so what were you two fighting about? " Lily shook her head in effort to get back to the original argument.

"We weren't fighting. We were talking." Rowan replied shortly.

"About…"

"Nothing."

"Fess up!" Sirius prodded Rowan with his wand.

She swatted at it. Then James nodded encouragingly at her. Sighing Rowan said, "James asked me why all of a sudden, I wasn't getting in detention that much anymore even though I still create a lot of collateral damage to the castle."

"'Collateral damage?" Sirius snorted. "Is that what you call blowing holes through people's classrooms nowadays?"

"Annnnnddd?" Lily said over him.

"And so I told him that it was because the professors leave me alone because…well….I guess…I try and develop spells."

"You guys, she invents magic!" James said proudly. He looked at her as if he had single-handedly created her out of clay himself.

Rowan flushed at the pride that was bursting from his voice. He was such a good mate. Sure sometimes he was bigheaded prat and pissed her off to new heights, but at the end of the day, he was a good mate and she was lucky to have him.

"Wait…you invent magic?" Lily asked a little confused.

"I _try_…" Rowan reiterated placing an emphasis on "try".

"But that's really dangerous! And complex! And advanced and you have to be really WHOA!" Sirius exclaimed. He looked at her with a stunned expression.

"It's not so much as inventing, it's more of upgrading if you will, and creating magic… it's a little difficult to explain."

"Show them the lightening bolt again!" James encouraged.

"_Baubillious_,"

"DUCK!" James shouted just as another lightening bolt shot out of her wand. Sirius dived to the floor.

Lily looked at her mate with wide eyes. Rowan shrugged.

"That's bloody amazing mate," Sirius said from the ground. His hand popped in the air as he gave her a thumbs up.

* * *

_A/N: Ok so I have no clue what James' middle name was so I just slapped one in there. I also wanted to name this chapter 'Magic is Might' but then realised, oh wait, Rowling already did. More to come soon. **Please review. :) xoxoxo**_


	6. Settling In

_A/N: I would just like to reiterate how awesome all of you guys are. **Thank you** so much for the support ,alerts and **of course, reviews**. And now without further ado here's the next instalment. Enjoy and let me know what you think. :)_

* * *

Since then, she had told Remus and Peter and the entire group more or less became used to the fact that she tinkered on magic and it was perfectly normal to see scorchmarks, debris and stacks of books surrounding her when she was busy working on magic.

Sometimes she neglected her regular schoolwork and Lily had to gently steer her towards completing her homework and studying for her exams. If it weren't for Lily, Rowan would have failed a lot of subjects in school.

They had survived their first week back and had welcomed the weekend with relief. On Saturday, rather than being shut up in the Common Room studying the gang decided to enjoy what might be the last burst of sunshine and study outside.

Lily, Rowan and Remus were lounging in the shade of a large willow tree near the lake. Peter was lying on the grass studying his Charms book and James and Sirius were perched up in the branches of the tree. It was a pretty picture to behold.

"Hey, Lily, what'd you put down to Question Number three? I feel like I'm forgetting something when it comes to the properties of asphodel?" Remus asked scratching his nose absent-mindedly with his quill.

"Erm…it's used in the Elixir of Living Death, The Wiggenweld Potion, it has both magical and non magical uses—"

"Oh non-magical uses, that's what I missed. Thanks." Remus said. Rowan smiled and thumbed his nose. "You got ink there Remy,"

"Remy" was her pet name for him. Sirius pet name was "Siri." She rarely employed it as much as she did with Remy though. And James was always James for her. She didn't know why. Jamie sounded a little odd.

"Thanks," Remus replied focusing on his homework again.

Sirius threw a piece of crumpled up parchment at Rowan's head. It bonked off the back of head and she twisted around and gazed up at him.

"What?"

"Did you finish the Arithmancy table?"

"Yeah…."

"Can I see it?"

"I don't know can you?" Rowan teased.

"Okay, _May_ I see it?" Sirius rolled his eyes.

"No." Rowan turned back on her stomach and studied her parchment.

"No?"

"Sirius, both of us know you haven't finished your table, and if you copy off mine, you will never be able to memorize it or learn!"

"You are such a geek, you're worse than Lily!"

"Hey!" Lily protested.

Peter sniggered. Sirius looked down at her. "What? You are a geek. A very pretty one mind you, but you study, .time."

"So?"

"Well at least you'll be more successful at life than the rest of us," Remus covered smoothly.

Satisfied with this Lily ignored Sirius and James shook his head. Sirius grinned at his friend.

James stretched and balanced precariously on the branch. He was bored and if he looked at another potions question he'd tear his hair out.

He was _really _tempted to levitate Peter into the lake, just for fun, but somehow he didn't think he'd earn any points in Lily's favour, even if Peter was his mate and all.

"Hey Sirius want to go tickle the Giant Squids tentacles?" James inquired.

Sirius raised his eyebrows and then dropped his books and parchment on the ground below him. It landed with a thud beside Rowan. "Sure,"

Both of them swung gracefully from the branches of the tree and landed catlike on the ground. James unbuckled his trousers and unabashedly stepped out of them and yanked his t-shirt over his head, leaving him in his boxers.

Sirius did the same and the pair of them started towards the lake. Several whistles and catcalls sounded as people outside watched the two boys.

Rowan watched Sirius' slow, loping gait that made so many girls slow down their own walks. She liked the way he moved. Unassuming, easy, graceful. She didn't think a boy could move so lithely.

She wasn't checking him out. Rowan had never experienced any romantic inclinations towards James or Sirius because she simply hadn't seen them like that before. James was totally off limits anyway because he fancied Lily and she was rooting for them all the way in her heart. And Sirius? Sirius was a different matter.

Girls simply went mad over him. He was like a mini celebrity in school and girls went after him in droves.

Sirius did not find this amusing. He liked girls, he thought they were lovely, when they weren't all giggly and gossipy and stupid. And more over, he liked girls who could hold their own, except unfortunately he hadn't met any of them, except for Lily and Rowan, and Lily, of course, was off limits.

Rowan was also a different case but for reasons Sirius had not come to terms with yet.

He dated here and there throughout his fifth and sixth year but no girl had truly caught his interest for more than two months. Plus it was around two months then his then girlfriends would go psycho and start hating on Rowan and Lily.

Sirius was loyal as a dog (no pun intended) to his mates and he always firmly believed in putting his mates first before him. At first it had amused Sirius greatly that girls were falling over themselves silly trying to get his attention. Then he became decidedly less amused when they started to stalk him in the corridors, in the library, outside of his classes and so on. There was only so much attention he could take.

So Sirius remained maddeningly elusive to the majority of the female population of the Hogwarts and he liked it that way. He had to figure out who he was as a person himself first and what the hell he wanted to do with his life first before even thinking about directing his attention elsewhere.

Since then he had kept his distance from girls. It was enough dealing with his scarily loyally fan club on a daily basis. Apparently all the bimbos of Hogwarts made up the club. He often bemoaned to Remus that no half intelligent girls were in the club.

"Hot guy problems," Remus had told him sarcastically.

Rowan studied him again. She was actually quite proud of him for running away from home that past summer and being so cavalier about it. He was a bright boy and had a knack for Defense Against the Dark Arts, he'd go far.

"Those two…" Remus shook his head.

"Huh?" Lily asked a little absent-mindedly. She had been busy studying James half naked body. He and Sirius both had lean, sleek builds, but Sirius was more muscled, James had subtle muscles, she observed. She studied his pale skin with interest.

"Do my eyes deceive me? Lily Evans…is checking out James Potter!" Rowan exclaimed gleefully. She sat up and looked at her mate with a mischievous look.

"I was not! I was just looking at him…for anthropological reasons!" Lily protested.

"Pffttt and I'm Gandhi reincarnated." Rowan crossed her eyes.

"Really? Cos in my past life, I was Merlin." Remus added.

"Nice," Rowan replied appreciatively.

* * *

"So first week back and you haven't managed to piss off Lily yet," Sirius said as he swam out further into the lake.

The water was cold but after a while you got used to it. "Yeah. A big achievement for me."

"Personal best," Sirius agreed. He sunk under the surface and swam deeper into the water.

Sirius had always loved water. Even as a child when life was simpler than and he used to visit the beach side with his family, he had liked the water. Watching it, swimming in it, you name it, he loved water. He especially loved how water moved.

Water was so temperamental, he thought as he swam even further. It could be gentle, peaceful, angry, powerful, destroy things and give sustain life. It was incredible.

When he was a small boy, Sirius once dreamed about being a fisherman. Then he had made the mistake of letting this slip out at dinner once and his family just looked at him. His father had looked at him with such disappointment in his eyes that Sirius never talked about water again at the dinner table.

Sirius burst through the surface and sucked in a big gulp of air. He swiped at the hair plastered to his face. James was nowhere in sight.

Then a moment later James dark head popped up. "Spotted the big bugger yet?" Sirius called out to him.

"Yeah! He's near the docks a little further down on south side of the lake."

"Race you there!"

"You're on, five sickles?"

"Five sickles? C'mon mate, I'm homeless and have no money of my own, and you're loaded!"

"Okay, okay five galleons, first one there," James conceded.

.

As the sun began to sink lower and lower into the sky, the group packed up their school things and Sirius and James returned shivering and dripping wet. Sirius shook his head like a wet dog and sprayed Rowan with tiny water droplets.

"Oi!" she complained.

"Sorry, not sorry." He said yanking his t-shirt over his head. He pulled his trousers over his hips and then realized that she was looking at him with a flat expression.

"What? Okay fine, I'm sorry for getting you, a little wet." He said.

"No, it's not about that. It's about the fact that you're an idiot." She replied unfazed.

"Huh?"

"Sirius, you're al wet, and so are your clothes." Remus patiently pointed out.

Sirius looked down to see his clothes clinging to him. Oh.

"Whoops," he sheepishly said.

"What whoops? Sirius you could have easily air dried yourself," Rowan said impatiently. She took out her wand and waved it over him once. He immediately felt himself dry and warm. She must have upgraded the standard drying spell too to add that tingly warm feeling afterglow he thought.

"Oh me too me too me too!" James said jumping up and down like a little kid.

"Ladies and gentlemen, our Head Boy," Peter announced with a flourish of his hand.

* * *

"You did WHAT?" an angry voiced yelled.

Rowan clamored through the Portrait Hole humming Led Zeppelin's _All of My Love _only to find James with a sheepish look on his face cowering slightly under a towering Lily.

"If you two are fighting over Sirius again then I'm sorry to say, but I have dibs on him." Rowan cheerfully said plunking herself down on the couch. She studied the pair.

"It was just a joke…"

"James! He's a first year! I can't believe you did that!" Lily shouted.

"What's going on? Where's the fire at?" Rowan asked confused.

"James told a first year the wrong way to the Owlery, he told him to go the extra long route—"

"So?" Rowan questioned.

"So! That poor first year will have to deal with Parcelus falling on top of his head because of Peeves! That poor kid has to deal with PEEVES!"

James mumbled something but Rowan remained unfazed. She lifted her shoulders carelessly. "Ooookkkayy then. Well I'll let you two lovebirds sort out your own problems then…."

"Rowan!" Lily snapped.

"What? What did I do now?" Rowan swung her arms out on either side of her.

"Talk some sense into James! He listens to you."

"No he chooses to listen to the things I say. He'll listen to you. Trust me." Rowan said giving her a pointed look.

"Honestly. James you ought to know better. You're Head Boy now." Lily said disapprovingly.

"I didn't ask for this honour!" James muttered sarcastically. He stalked towards the Portrait Hole.

"Where are you going? I'm not finished ranting." Lily growled.

"I know you're done ranting. You NEVER stop ranting. Or throwing glares, disapprovingly looks, berating us for indulging in some teenage antics or giving, great big sighs of "Why am I even mates with these people," James sarcastically ranted.

Lily opened her mouth. Rowan bit back a laugh. James had clearly lost it. Poor James. All this because he happened to like Lily.

"In fact, I think that Dumbledore made a grave mistake by making me Head Boy. You have so much discplinarian –ness in you, that you could be both Head Girl AND Head Boy!" James continued to say loudly walking backwards.

Lily cocked her head to the side. But James wasn't finished yet. He threw his hands in the air and started jumping up and down shouting "I'm Lily Evans! I'm Lily Evans! I'm the smartest, most serious girl in all of Gryffindor History. I'm going to do exceedingly well in life, let my best mate live in my attic because I'm Head Girl and I'm Queen of the World!"

Rowan burst out laughing. This was too funny. James had not only lost it, he had jumped off the deep end entirely. If only Sirius was here to see this.

James was so busy jumping up down and shouting that he wasn't unaware of where he was going. He bonked into a stray chair and fell over it.

Rowan laughed even harder at this. Even Lily half smiled.

"James Potter."

No answer.

"James Ignotus Potter." Lily said a little louder as she tentatively approached him.

A pause.

"What." James growled. He made no effort to get off the floor.

Lily sighed and stuck out a hand. Speechless James looked up at her.

"Remember the time you accidentally ingested a magic mushroom at the end of Fifth Year?" She asked.

"…Yeah?"

"Well this was ten times funnier than that. C'mon, get up."

Lily pulled James gingerly to his feet and abruptly let go of his hand.

"No on said this Head Boy and Head Girl thing would be easy," she said in a calm voice.

"I did not sign up for this!" Jams sighed.

"I know. Go find that first year. I'll come with you. Maybe I'll even stave off my homework for a bit by playing Exploding Snap with you later on."

"Are you serious?" James asked. This couldn't be happening.

"Sure. You just reminded me that I have huge whomping willow branch stuck up my arse. Thank you for that."

"Um…your welcome?"

"Let's go find that first year. Hopefully he won't have landed up in the Hospital Wing."

* * *

_A/N: And the seeds are planted for our favourite relationship of all of history. :) Please review! xoxoxo_


	7. Gender Dynamics

_A/N: As always, thank you so much for your support, alerts and reviews! If you have any questions, comments or feedback, don't hesitate to let me know. As stated before, the first part of the story is a coming of age fic, with a lot of focus on developing the characters and their personalities. And now, here's the next instalment. :) Enjoy and review!_

* * *

The students began to adjust to the daily rhythm of enormous amounts of homework. The next week passed on unobtrusively. Ever since that ridiculous outburst from James, Lily had loosened up a little bit, she wasn't as anxious as she was before when it came to homework and made it an effort to pay attention to what James was saying in some of the conversations she listened to. That was something new. She told herself she'd relax a little bit, paying attention to James wasn't on her list and that was happening more often than not at the Breakfast Table and in the Common Room.

So far, Rowan was enjoying Alchemy more than her other subjects. Perhaps it was because it wasn't a NEWT subject or perhaps it was the size of the class, but she found herself looking forward to Tuesday and Thursdays. When she shared this with Sirius, he face palmed himself.

"What?" she asked non plussed as they straggled out Arithmancy class. Benjy passed her and caught her eye. He glanced back at her and smiled at her.

Sirius didn't see this little exchange. He was too busy lamenting the fact that his mate actually liked school. "You look forward to Tuesday and Thursdays?" he repeated.

"Yes. Yes I do. I have Alchemy and it's extremely interesting…plus I don't have any classes with **you**. Well except for Charms. And even then, it's a day relatively free of YOU." She stuck out her tongue.

"Hey!" Sirius elbowed her and she danced out his way.

"You and Lily. You guys have a serious disease. I heard that Lily reads her textbooks, on the weekends, in bed, FOR FUN."

"I would have to confirm this suspicion, yes. I have caught her on several occasions with books in her bed." Rowan replied solemnly.

"Geek," Sirius muttered under his breath.

"No, I'm a geek, Lily's a nerd." Rowan corrected.

"There's a difference?"

"Yes, there is."

"Do tell me O Great Inventor of Magic."

"Shaddup. And I prefer the nickname "Your Highness.", since you know I'm totally more awesome than you."

"Okay your highness…differences between geeks and nerds?" Sirius waved a hand.

Just as Rowan was about to tell him, Lily and Remus came out of the Library that they had just past. Remus looked dead tired and Lily was unusually quiet. Rowan frowned.

"Something wrong?"

"Besides the insane amount of homework we have, the fact that we have a madman trying to take over the world and people keep disappearing? No, nothings' wrong." Lily sarcastically replied.

Rowan pursed her lips. Everyday one of them got the _Daily Prophet_ delivered and they all scanned the headlines. Lately there appeared to be more articles dedicated to informing them of grim news. Witches and Wizards disappearing. Muggle Families being murdered. The Dark Mark was apparently, being sighted all over the place nowadays. No one was safe anymore.

She figured that while it was all nice and good to worry about these kinds of things, there wasn't that much of point to worrying about them, because there wasn't much she could personally do about it. So instead she focused on other things, things she did have some sense of control over, like homework and magic. She didn't know exactly why Lily bothered to bog herself down with all these grim thoughts.

Lily had once called her out on her seemingly obliviousness to the current state of affairs. But once Rowan had explained her logic, Lily conceded that she did have a fair point. Rowan just didn't see the point of getting worked up over things she had no control over. It wasn't her fault that the Death Eaters were targeting Muggles. And it wasn't as if she was totally unaware of what was going on in the rest of the world, she did, she just didn't worry herself sick of it.

To some readers, this may sound a bit selfish. But in all practicality, Rowan was a sole survivalist and concentrated on things that directly impacted her and those around her. if some bonehead death eater attacked her or her family, _then_ she'd do something about it.

"You worry too much, you're going to give yourself wrinkles." Rowan told her.

"You don't worry enough," Lily replied.

"Well I'm gonna stay young forever then!" Rowan airily said waving a hand with a flourish. Sirius laughed.

* * *

Rowan and Lily were hunched over their books in the library on Thursday afternoon after their lessons, unbeknownst to them that the four golden boys of Hogwarts (well three golden boys and Peter) were sitting a few tables away and deep in the middle of what they considered a serious conversation.

"So…how are things going between you and Lily?," Sirius commented quietly as he sat back in his chair.

"There is nothing. It's non existent." James said curtly. He flicked his wand at their pencil cases to make them start chasing each other around the table.

"Yeah right. C'mon Padfoot, she I've seen her look at you here and there." Remus remarked kindly. He looked at his friend with a benign expression.

"Well then I must be missing them. However…she doesn't seem to hate me as much as she did before. She's…amicable enough when we're doing our Head Boy and Head Girl duties."

Peter rolled his eyes and tried to focus on the essay topic before him. "_Describe the Differences of Conjuration of Vertebrae's and Non Vertebras._" Professor McGonagall always gave the toughest essay assignments in Transfiguration. He shook his head. Maybe he could copy off Remus later on.

"You mean she tolerates you." Sirius gave his mate a pointed look.

"No! One time we were patrolling the corridors after hours and we caught this group of second years playing with fanged Frisbeess and instead of offering my usual sarcastic, witty comment, or hexing them for the fun of I was an adult and everything and reprimanded them. Maturely!"

"Really? And?" Remus asked dryly.

"I took the fanged Frisbee for myself of course,"

Sirius sniggered. "And she let you?"

James slapped him three stooges style. "Course not, I told her I'd confiscate it myself and give it Filch."

"Which you so clearly did. This morning I woke up and saw that my bed hangings had several rips in them." Remus injected a little grumpily.

"Yeah big deal." His best friend waved a dismissive hand. Sirius chortled. "James you're never going to win over Lily if you don't tone down your big-headedness."

"Big-headedness?" James sputtered. "Ok Mr. I'm-Awesome you've been back in school for two weeks now and have been fending off your fan club, but haven't had decided on a girl to date yet? Has the Great Sirius Black lost his touch?" James taunted. Remus and Peter sniggered. Sirius furrowed his eyebrows.

"Hey, I am Great with or without a girl! I'm awesome twenty-five hours a day, six days a week."

James sputtered. "PA HA!" Even Remus looked at him incredulously. "Padfoot, there are twenty-four hours in a day, and there are seven days in a week."

"I don't operate on Sundays. Sundays I'm not awesome because it's the day or rest and regeneration."

"Regeneration? What are you now? Superhuman?" Peter snorted.

"Yeah! I'm SUPER SIRIUS!" Sirius said a little too loudly. Someone shushed him and he lowered his voice.

"Besides might I remind you that I'm not the one who gave myself that name, the fan girls did. And furthermore, I'm just not looking for anything right now. The girls that I did go out with were with me more for my looks rather than my awesome personality. So I'm done with dating in this school. I have other things to focus on,"

"Wow look at you. Being all mature," Peter sniggered.

Sirius flicked his wand at him.

_Thud._

Peter fell off his chair and hit the floor. "Hey!"

"It's just that for once maybe I'll try and see if I can snag a nice girl with her right AND left brain at some point." Said Sirius.

"Pfft yeah right." Peter muttered.

Remus looked at him strangely. "Did you try going up the Girl's Staircase again and ended up toppling backwards on the slide? You seem to be a little spotty mate."

"Or maayybee he's just finally jumped off the deep end," James teased.

"Or perhaps he already has a girl in mind but doesn't know how to proceed about it," Peter chuckled.

"Pa ha! I always know what to do with girls. Well most girls. Run like hell in the opposite direction from them. They're bang out of order in this school. Rowan is the exception. She's completely off all conventional girl maps and charts."

Remus agreed. "She is certainly one a kind,"

"She's the best," James declared loyally.

"So why don't you go out with her?" Sirius demanded. "If this whole Lily thing isn't going to work out, then you have to man up and get a grip on yourself and move on with your life."

"Can't." James said flatly.

"Why?" Remus inquired.

"Rowan is too much like family. When we first became mates, believe me, the thought of dating her did cross my mind. That was when Lily absolutely despised me. Especially since I hexed Snivillus and threatened to take off his underpants."

They boys thought back that particular moment in their Fifth Year. "Ahhh yeah." They reminiscenced in unison.

"Anyway, Lily wouldn't look at me for weeks because of that. And Rowan, after a day or two, got over it. She was starting to look like a great distraction. But when I theoretically brought this up she saw right through it. She flatly said it would never happen, because for some odd reason, she firmly believed that Lily would come around. Some day."

Sirius stared at his mate with surprise. "Are you shitting me?"

"No! I'm dead serious. And in retrospect, I'm glad she steered me out of what would have been a terrible decision. She's like the sister I never had. My parents adore her."

"Even if she did blow up your fireplace," Sirius sniggered.

"Yeah. She said she'd repair and she did. It looks better now," James added.

At that moment Benjy Fenwick who shared Arithmancy with Sirius and Rowan came up to their table. Running a hand nervously through his blonde locks he said, "Hey Sirius,"

Sirius looked up. "What's up mate?"

"You think you could introduce me to your friend Forlani? Wouldn't mind getting to know her on a first name basis, if you know what I mean."

James and Remus exchanged sly looks. Benjy wasn't the first of the boys who had found themselves intrigued by Rowan's elusive demeanour.

Sirius stared at him for a minute then he said quickly, "Yeah no problem mate,"

"Cool, thanks. I owe you one." Benjy replied appreciatively before he left the boys.

Sirius stared at the boy's back with a darkened expression. "How come he can't just ask Rowan herself for her name?" He huffed in annoyance.

Peter gave a great big snort at this. "Someone sounds a little jeeeeaaallloussss," he said in a singsong voice.

"Shaddup. I am not jealous!" Sirius growled. He lifted his wand threateningly again. Peter ducked.

"Wands away you evil boy! And if you raise your voice on more time I will throw you out of this library!" Madam Pince suddenly hissed. The boys whipped their heads around and Sirius paled at the sight of her.

"Sorry! Won't happen again!" He hastily said before stowing his wand away.

* * *

Sirius forgot about Benjy until Caradoc passed Rowan that night followed by Benjy at dinner.

"'Ey Rowan! First duelling club meeting of the year, Friday night, be there or be square!" Caradoc grinned.

She twisted in her seat and her eyes were lit with merriment. "Wouldn't miss it for anything mate. Be prepared for me to kick your arse. Big time."

"Pfft, yeah right!" Caradoc laughed before spotting Marlene who was sitting a little further down the table. Rowan waved at Marlene who smiled in return.

"You're still a member of the Dueling Club?" James asked amazed.

"'Course. Flitwick is an excellent teacher. Besides, it's fun." She replied helping herself to some vegetables.

"Having hexes fired at you,on a Friday night, is _fun_?" Peer asked through a mouthful of food.

Rowan gave him a withering glance. "Please Peter, for the love of god, chew, swallow and then talk!"

Peter swallowed audibly. "Sheesh! You're worse than my mum!"

"Well…you are seventeen now. You ought to know better. But yes, for me it's fun. At least I get to hex and jinx people back." Rowan added before returning to her food.

"Oi Rowan," Sirius began after Benjy caught his eye before settling down to eat.

"What? What could I have possibly have done now? I didn't flood the bathroom on the seventh floor! That was Moaning Myrtle again!" Rowan began hotly.

"Would you shut and listen? Benjy Fenwick, that bloke in our Arithmancy Class, pay more attention to him." Sirius waved a hand.

"Why?"

So typical of her to ask, James thought.

"Because he fancies you. He'd like to get to know you on a 'first name basis'," Sirius held up sarcastic air quotes.

Rowan raised and eyebrow and slid a glance down the table and studied Benjy's profile. She shrugged. "Not my problem."

James quirked an eyebrow. "Not your problem, is it?"

"It isn't. If he fancies me, that's his problem. If he wants to talk to me, let him come up and talk to me." Rowan coolly replied. Sirius stifled a laugh. Poor bloke. Rowan could be very hard on guys sometimes. He suddenly felt a bit bad for his fellow Seventh Year.

"Oh c'mon Ro. Don't be that way. He's not bad on the eyes, he's a Ravenclaw and you like smart guys. Just say hi to the poor guy." Sirius coaxed.

Rowan just looked at him with a flat expression. "Are you his spokesperson or something?"

Sirius gave her an annoyed look. "No I just feel for the guy that's all. It's not easy to talk to girls all the time."

"Your Sirius fucking Black!" Rowan exclaimed. "What girl could you have trouble talking with?"

Sirius shrugged and gave a toss of his head. "I don't know. I haven't come across one yet. But when I do, I'll be sure to let you know. In the mean time, just give him a break and maybe say 'Hi' or "good Morning". I'm not asking you to marry the guy!"

"Fine fine fine fine. Now do us all a great big favour and stay out of my love life." Rowan sighed.

"Duly noted."

James and Lily watched this exchange with bemused expressions. "I thought you were over Gideon," Lily remarked at her mate's hesitation over a boy.

"I am." Was Rowan's short reply. Then she added, "Lily, we broke up…five months ago. And we've stayed mates. Sometimes he owls me."

"Always good to hear." Remus toasted.

"How come you haven't gone out with any girls Sirius? You haven't gone out with anyone since the end of last year. You are Sirius Black, Lord of Sexiness!" Lily demanded.

"You think I'm sexy Lily?" Sirius grinned big.

Lily nailed him with a look that wiped Sirius's grin of his face. Remus sniggered.

"Might I remind you that I don't exactly enjoy ploughing through girls like some guys do? Half of these girls just want to be with me because of the status it gives me. Not exactly a turn on," Sirius said dryly.

"Sirius can I ask you a very serious question? And don't laugh." Rowan said.

"Go ahead good knight," Sirius waved a hand.

"What's it like to have girls stare at you all the time?" she asked very interested.

Sirius rolled his eyes. "Right, what's it like to crush blokes' aspirations of getting to know you with your combat boots on a daily basis?"

"Sirius!"

"I don't really know. It's not something I pay attention to."

Rowan reached over and slapped the back of his head. "Ow!" he cried.

"You're a class a liar Black. Tell me!" she demanded.

Sirius shot her an annoyed look."Fine. it's…odd. I mean, at first it was really funny, but then after realizing that most of these girls only wanted the status that comes with just being "seen" with me, I don't know. Kind of turn off. It's not like it counts for anything. They don't give two shits about me as a person. They just give a shit about my body." Sirius said in a matter of fact voice.

Lily felt a part of her softening towards him. She didn't realize that Sirius actually had emotions or thoughts that ran that far.

"Well guess what mate? I give a shit about you cos of your awesome personality!" James grinned. Sirius high fived him and Lily smiled.

"And I give two shits about you cos of your personality and for the fact that you like punk music." Rowan teased. Sirius flicked a pea at her and she laughed. "And it helps that you're easy on the eyes," she added as an afterthought.

"He's very easy on the eyes," Lily added. Rowan shot her a look and Lily shrugged. "What? I'm just stating a fact,"

"She did call me Lord of Sexiness earlier," Sirius laughed.

"The first and only time you'll ever hear it from me," Lily added.

* * *

The group was situated around the fireplace, attempting to work on homework when it happened. Rowan was discussing a popular band, Pink Floyd with Peter and they were arguing about which of their albums were better. James and Sirius were engrossed in a wizarding chess game. Lily had gotten into another debate about Goblin's rights with Remus.

"But it's not fair! The rebellion of 1592 was for a just cause! The Ministry totally shut them down!"

"Ah, yes. But they were pillaging and burning every township and soul they came across."

"But that's only because we've treated them like crap!"

"That doesn't mean they had the right to storm down every village they came across! Over a thousand witches and wizards died during that rebellion!"

"So?"

"What do you mean so? They burned Stonewick to the ground and then sowed salt into the Earth so nothing could be grown again!"

"Big deal. We cut off their ears when they refused to submit to us!"

"Actually, my Aunt cuts off their heads, anyway continue." Sirius added looking up from his game.  
"Your Aunt chops off Goblins head's when they don't submit to you?" Lily asked quizzically.

"Wait, my aunt cuts off houselves' ears when they grow too old to serve tea, my bad." Sirius corrected.

Of course, the subject of houselves prompted Lily to go into a tirade of their rights they deserved to have and how the Ministry of Magic were run by a bunch of boneheads.

James rumpled his head frustrated at both the level of noise and the fact that he was stuck. He didn't know what piece he should move. Sirius would surely beat him.

"Augh! Would you lot please shut up! I'm trying to think," He cried exasperated.

"Clearly, this is the first time he's trying to think," Peter whispered loudly. Rowan tittered.

"Hurry up Prongs!" Sirius said impatiently.

"Shut I'm thinking!"

"What's going on?" Lily asked finally done ranting about disadvantaged sub species.

"I'm stuck. I can't figure out where I should move next," James said in a strained voice. Lily nearly smiled at this. He was so serious about this!

She got up and stood behind him. She studied the board critically. Lily liked puzzles and riddles. When she was small, her father gave her a Rubik's cube to try and solve. Nine year old Lily had played with that cube for hours. Then one day she had managed to solve it and suddenly things seemed so much clearer.

Now, she thoughtfully pondered some of his possible moves. She hesitantly put a hand on his shoulder and felt him stiffen underneath, then relax. She herself relaxed a little bit.

"You should move your rook there," Lily said quietly, James had to lean closer to her in effort to hear her.

"Where?" He asked.

"Here, see?" Lily took the rook and moved it.

James tried very hard not to mentally have an aneurysm as Lily bent lower and he caught a glint of silver from the necklace she usually wore. He mentally counted to ten in his head. Then she straightened back up.

"Bugger!" Sirius swore. Now he was stuck.

James stared at his pieces on the board. He could beat Sirius now! "Thanks Lily!" He exclaimed happily.

Lily smiled at him, a great, big, real, one and James gave a shy one of his own. Lily liked his smile.

"I'm gonna go and do this homework, properly. See you lot later." She said before easing back from him.

Peter, Rowan and Remus watched Lily's retreating figure with astonishment. Sirius looked up confused.

"What? What's going on?" he queried.

"Did you not just see that mate?" Remus cried out.

"What?"

"How could you have missed this? You're Sirius Black, The Object Of Affection of Girls' Everywhere!" Rowan exclaimed. Sirius rolled his eyes. "Shaddup. What on earth on you going on about?"

"I think, I _think_, Lily may have been flirting, just a smidge, with James." Peter answered.

"ARE YOU SERIOUS?" Sirius yelled. James gave him a dopey grin. Rowan and Remus chuckled.

"Yeah, I think she was too Peter." Remus agreed.

"AND I MISSED THIS?" Sirius exclaimed.

"That you did." Rowan replied solemnly.

"Great, I lose the chess game _and_ miss a very important moment in my best mate's life." Sirius grumbled.

* * *

**_A/N: Please review :) xoxoxo_**


	8. Friday Night Bites

_A/N: Have I mentioned how grateful I am for all your support, alerts, and reviews? :) You guys are amazing. Oh, and this fic is an ensemble story so we're going to be working with a lot of different characters over the course of the story. And remember, the M is for language and violence later, not smut :). OK enough rambling here's the chapter, happy reading and please review.** Stay excellent people.**_

* * *

James was extremely bright in Transfiguration, he considered himself the best, quite within his rights too, after Rowan, (who had made a deal with the devil himself when it came to magic). He, along with Sirius had spent three years trying to figure out to turn themselves in Animaguses after Remus revealed to them he was a werewolf.

He had told them in their second year. At first Sirius and James had been dumbfounded. Then Sirius broke out in a grin and said, "Sucks to be you mate eh?" and had clapped him on the back.

Surprised that his mates hadn't run as fast they could in the opposite direction, he was even more surprised when they revealed to him in their Fifth year that they were able to become Animaguses. He had been blown away, and touched.

So on every full moon, the three of them faithfully turned into their respective animals and helped Remus go through the painful transition that took place and kept him company.

Words couldn't express the gratification Remus felt towards his mates for supporting him and befriending him, even after he revealed his horrible secret. All of his life, he had been shoved in a closet because of his condition. He had very few mates before he came to Hogwarts and often made up for the lack of company by throwing himself into the company of characters from books. There was a reason why he loved to read so much, more than Lily and Rowan, and it's because at times, it had saved him from going off the deep end and helped ease his loneliness growing up.

It was the third week of September now. The Seventh Years had become accustomed to the heavy workload and looked trifle better than zombies they had become to resemble in the past fortnight.

The third week of September, also meant it was the first full moon of the school year. As the week wore on Remus became increasingly peakier and peakier, he lost his appetite and was sleeping poorly. Lily and Rowan fussed over him but to no avail. The girls still did not know about him.

That was about to change.

* * *

It was Friday night when Rowan had finished showering after the first meeting of the Duelling Club. She had wanted to clear her head and needed a bit of fresh air. She _knew_ that it was already after hours and she would be skinned alive if she were caught out of the castle at night, much less than the Gryffindor Common Room.

But that didn't faze her. There was a reason why she got into so many scrapes and accidents, besides tinkering on magic, Rowan had an inexplicable lust for breaking, or at least bending rules.

She had been working on upgrading the Disillusionment Charm for three months now. She had started tinkering on it back in the beginning of July. There were a lot of mishaps between July and then.

In theory, the Disillusionment charm was very well on its own. It hid objects and people, allowing the person or object to assume the background and properties of what it was against. But she wanted the Disillusionment Charm to do more than that. She wanted it to literally render the person who was under the disillusionment charm two-dimensional. She wanted to see if she could wipe all traces of a person's senses whilst under the charm. So far she had been trying to work on getting rid of a person's scent. She wasn't sure if she had achieved anything yet.

Tonight seemed like a good enough night as any of them to go out and think in a different location.

She would end up regretting that decision to some extent.

Rowan climbed unobtrusively through the Portrait Hole and then rapped her head sharply with her wand. She felt the strange feeling of egg being broken over her head and something cold sliding over her. She would have to work on that too, she thought to herself as she shivered involuntary.

Well. She certainly _felt_ less three-dimensional. Maybe some of her work had actually paid off. She began to walk down the corridor. She was so immersed in her own thoughts that she didn't realize that she ended up in front of the great doors that led outside.

She slipped outside and adjusted her now invisible cloak. September had brought in cooler weather and the sun was beginning to shine less and less.

Rowan meandered aimlessly around the dark grounds. She took care not too walk around too fast or recklessly since it was dark outside. She didn't dare illuminate her way with her wand, that would look too suspicious god forbid someone else was out here.

She_ knew_ what she was doing was unbelievably stupid and reckless. But she couldn't help it. She was in one of her funny moods of again, the moods that led her to sleep less and engage in some reckless and stupid behaviour. She just felt more alive in these moods.

She wandered past the greenhouses, walked along the edge of the lake, just thinking, when she heard shouting and then primal sounding snarls.

* * *

The boys were attempting to wrestle Remus into the Shrieking Shack, attempting being the key word here, but not before Remus gave a sharp swipe slicing James's cheek. Grimacing, he shoved Remus away from him. Panting a bit, the boys transfigured themselves into their animagus selves. They were in for a rough night.

They did not expect another person to be prowling around the grounds at Hogwarts at night.

Rowan, being in her one of her unbelievably reckless and stupid moods, had decided to investigate the source of ruckus. She lit her wand and held it out before here squinting at the vast darkness.

The boys saw a wandering source of light and were extremely confused, on top of their agitation and this did not help their emotions.

Remus already had transformed and snarled at the source of light and took a great big whiff. He smelled something. He smelled a person. There was a _person_ somewhere there.

And strangely enough, this scent smelled familiar to him. He couldn't figure out who it belonged to though. He howled in fury.

Rowan nearly dropped her wand when she saw a grotesque looking figure come banging about. She froze in her spot as she stared wide-eyed at the site in front of her.

She suddenly heard the creature sniff deeply into the air and then it inched closer towards her. Rowan suddenly stepped backwards in horror. It could_ smell_ her.

Rowan caught glance of bright yellow eyes and then lunged out of the way. The creature came after her. Now stumbling around the edge of the lake, she finally caught a look at what exactly was going after her.

It was a werewolf.

Rowan was too frightened to scream or yell. She had seen pictures of werewolves in her DADA books, had read about them here and there but didn't know too much about them otherwise. Magical creatures didn't really interest her. Now she regretted not knowing so much about them.

Then she was thrown off kilter completely when she saw a great big dog and stag come barrelling at her. They threw themselves at the werewolf.

This night just kept getting stranger and stranger, she thought to herself while still in shock.

There was a werewolf, a stag and a big ass dog that apparently, ran around Hogwarts. On full moon nights.

Rowan snapped out of her initial shock and pulled herself together. Okay, so obviously her Disillusionment Charm needed some more work. Animals and sub species could still sense her.

And apparently, they could still cause bodily harm to a person. Rowan swore to herself as she fell to the ground. Undeterred by the stag and dog the werewolf had chased after her and knocked her down with one great big leap. He swiped at the air in front of him.

Rowan felt something slice down her cheek and her neck and grimaced. Then she felt a sticky substance slide over skin. Blood.

She scrambled to her feet and tried to put more distance between herself and the werewolf. But the werewolf was much quicker and stronger than she. It stood up and swung a powerful arm at her and Rowan felt a sickening crunch as he made contact with her ribs.

Rowan crumpled to the ground. To any bystander who might be watching this scene in a Pensive perhaps, it would look very strange, a werewolf swiping at air. Sirius and James in their animagus form were equally bamboozled. Clearly, Remus had gone more nuts than usual in this transformation.

She held her breath and became very still as she was all too aware of the pain that was coursing through her right now. Then the werewolf come so close to her she could hear its harsh breathing. She stared at its yellow eyes.

Those eyes looked familiar. She couldn't quite place them though. He bent over her, his teeth bared and Rowan mentally prepared to kiss her existence goodbye.

But then she realised something, she had her effing wand with her. Grabbing it with all her might she focused on what exactly she wanted to do.

_Expelliarmus!_ She mentally screamed in her head.

The werewolf was blasted off its feet and landed a while away in a heap. It didn't move.

Rowan had channelled every ounce of willpower and energy into that spell. Slightly alarmed that she may or may have not killed something or worse, someone, she rose to her knees and clutched at her side. Then the big dog came running up to her.

She shrank back. She had never been fond of dogs thanks to a couple of traumatic childhood instances. The dog sniffed around her and circled around her. Rowan stared speechless at it. Then the dog looked at her.

It was the funniest thing, she could have sworn that the dog had grey eyes. But it was dark and she couldn't be sure of anything.

Rowan cautiously rose to her feet and started to stagger in the direction of the castle. She left the dog behind without a further thought. All she wanted to do was get as far away as possible from that damned werewolf. And get her ribs repaired.

* * *

James came up to Remus who lay motionless on the ground. Sirius joined him and they exchanged looks. He could wake up any minute now. Gingerly they dragged him towards the Whomping Willow where Peter, still in his rat form, had finally found the knot on the branch to stop the tree from walloping them.

Sirius dragged Remus underneath the tree and James followed. They deposited Remus in the Shrieking Shack and closed the door behind them. Exhausted Sirius laid his head down on the ground.

They couldn't talk to each other in their animal form. All they could do was exchange looks and wait for Remus to wake up.

Some time later Remus did wake up. He was furious. Terrible howls and shrieks were heard from the Shrieking Shack for the remainder of the night. Remus was howling up a storm, throwing himself against the door that closed him in. James and Sirius were kept fairly busy by throwing themselves against the door at regular intervals to keep Remus from breaking it down.

Sirius, James and Peter were all lying on the ground of the Shrieking Shack, eyes closed, breathing heavily the next morning. Remus was still locked in the room. It was Peter who woke up first.  
"Oh god. I feel like crap." Peter mumbled standing up.

Sirius also awoke and gingerly got up as well. He hissed in a breath and grabbed his shoulder. Remus had gotten him there too. "Is it just me, or did it seem like last night was a hella of lot rougher than usual?"

"It was rougher," James agreed unlocking the door.

"Remus went crazy last night." Sirius added. James yawned and agreed.

Remus was curled up in the corner, sound asleep. His chestnut locks fell over his face and he looked very exhausted.

"Aw man, I don't wanna wake him up, he looks so peaceful," James groaned.

"I'm hungry and I need to get my shoulder patched up," Sirius pointed out. His shoulder throbbed painfully.

"You're right, you're right, Mooney, wake up," James sighed as he gently shook his friend.

Remus stirred and he blearily opened one eye. "Hey," he hoarsely said.

"Morning, how are you feeling?" James asked.

"Like a pile of dragon dung." He replied exhausted.

"Oh good then we're all on the same page. I feel like shit too." Sirius said.

"I can't wait to get to the Hospital Wing," Remus groaned as he got to his feet.

"Don't we all?" James sarcastically said as they helped their mate out of the Shrieking Shack.

* * *

Rowan stared up at the ceiling with thunderous eyes. She was pissed. She was pissed for a number amount of reasons.

Reason Number 1: She had been attacked by a werewolf

Reason Number 2: She had gotten her ribs broken and her face scratched out.

Reason Number 3: Her work on the Disillusionment Charm got her nowhere. It was still as useless as ever, she thought darkly.

Reason Number 4: There was a fucking _werewolf_ running around Hogwarts. How could Dumbledore do this to his students?

She scowled as she attempted to manoeuvre herself out of bed. Madame Pomfrey had fixed her ribs as soon as she had hobbled into the Hospital Wing. But it still needed half a day to properly set and she hated being stuck in the Hospital Wing with no one to talk to.

She had already slept, or had attempted to sleep, and now she was wide-awake and the cogs in her head where churning wildly.

Rowan wasn't thinking about how she was going to continue to tinker on her Disillusionment Charm. She was thinking about how familiar those eyes were on the werewolf that had been running around last night.

She wished Remus was here. Or James. Come to think of it she hadn't seen them at all since dinner last night. Her eyebrows drew in frustration.

A deep sigh escaped from her and then she heard a great big racket as some people came into the Hospital Wing. Madame Pomfrey was fussing over someone and Rowan sat up a little bit in effort to see who exactly was creating such a ruckus at eight o clock in the morning on a Saturday.

Her eyes nearly bugged out of her head when she saw Remus being eased down on a bed on the opposite side of her. Then James sat on the bed next to him and Sirius took the bed on the other side of Remus.

_What .The. Bloody. Hell?_ She thought.

* * *

_A/N: And so the little cogs in Rowan's head begin to turn...**be good and please review! xoxoxo**_


	9. Reactions

_A/N: Aaahhh I meant to get this up sooner but I've been ill for the last week or so and staring at a screen was a bit trying, so this is a little bit shorter than my usual chapters. Anyhow! Thank you for all your support and reviews! Enjoy, read, reviews and stay excellent people. :)_

* * *

Madame Pompfrey drew the hangings around Remus so he could change and then she left a potion on the table beside the bed. Then she went and attended to Sirius' shoulder.

Rowan watched all of this quietly. Her cogs began to wheedle even faster in her mind.

Then Madam Pompfrey bustled over to her and pushed her back against her pillows. "Miss Forlani, you need to rest and sleep. It takes a full twelve hours for your ribs to properly set again." She said sternly.

Rowan muttered something but slumped down on her pillows. James and Sirius whipped their heads and stared at her, completely flabbergasted.

"Ro! What are you doing here?" James asked crossing the room in three quick strides.

"I could ask you the same thing James Potter," she answered evenly. James immediately read her mood as dangerous. He treaded cautiously.

"What happened to you?" he asked.

"Broke my ribs." She replied shortly.

"Man that must be some serious magic you've tinkering on," Sirius thought aloud as he joined the pair.

Rowan glared up at him.

Sirius' eyes sharpened as he took in the nasty cuts on her left side of her cheek and on her neck. "Rowan…" he said slowly.

"What?" she growled.

"Where'd you get that cut?" Sirius asked narrowing his eyes. James glanced over and his own eyes widened in shock.

Rowan refused to answer. She zeroed on in Sirius and focused in on his injured shoulder.

"How'd you injure your shoulder?" she retorted.

Both of them glared at each other. James felt a ripple of uneasiness go through him. He cleared his throat.

"Rowan." He said.

"James." She replied mocking his serious tone. James gave her an annoyed look.

"You two need to leave her alone! She needs rest!" Madame Pomfrey hissed as she shooed the pair of them away from her.

Sirius and James gave Rowan one last long, searching look before leaving. Rowan closed her eyes and tried to think some more.

* * *

Sometime in the afternoon Remus awoke and he blinked a couple of times trying to get his bearings. He was in the hospital wing. There was a full moon last night. He felt like crap. Okay. Good he was fully lucid.

But he couldn't, for the life of him, remember what exactly happened last night. he lifted his head and then winced in pain. Gingerly he felt the back of it and felt a large lump on the back of his head. That was new. He had never woken up from a full moon transformation with a big lump on the back of his head.

His brow furrowed as he tried to recall the events of last night. He remembered being by a the edge of the lake. He had managed to throw Sirius and James off him before they managed to get him to the Shrieking Shack.

Why had he gone to the edge of the lake? He wondered.

He sat up and gulped down some water that was on his bedside table. Then he spotted another person on the opposite side of the room.

"Rowan?" He asked incredulously as he saw the familiar face.

"Afternoon Remy," she replied with a small smile.

"What are you doing here?"

"Injured myself."

"Oh."

"Yeah. Shit happens. Why are you in here?" Her voice had suddenly turned sharp.

Remus hesitated before answering. "Injured myself. Concussion." He said not entirely telling the truth obviously.

"Knock your head against something did ya?" she asked shrewdly.

"Or something like that," Remus mumbled. He cautiously got to his feet and tottered over to her. His brows drew closer together when he saw the nasty cuts on her face and neck.

"Rowan." He said suddenly very serious.

"Remus." She answered equally solemn.

The friends stared at each other, chocolate brown into blue.

"May I?" He timidly asked motioning towards the empty space of the bed. Rowan scooted over and he eased himself down and looked at her with frightened eyes.

"Rowan," he nearly half whispered.

"You want to tell me something, Remy?" Rowan asked in composed voice. The use of his pet name by her relieved him

"Oh god." Remus ran a hand down his face. Rowan placed her other hand over his and held it under her own.

He swallowed and closed his eyes. Fuck, why did he feel like crying? Oh yeah, it was because he was about to loose one of his mates.

"I think I know how you got those cuts," he said quietly.

Rowan didn't say anything. She imperceptibly nodded for him to continue. He took a deep breath. "It was me. I think I attacked you last night. I'm a werewolf." He finished in one breath.

"And I think I gave you that concussion you speak of. Sorry about that." Rowan replied not the slightest fazed.

Remus' shoulder slumped down. How come she wasn't running away in terror and refusing to talk to him ever again? He was a werewolf! He was a monster for crying out loud.

"How old were you when you got bitten?" she asked softly.

Remus snapped his attention to her. "I was seven. Fenrir Greyback bit me because my father insulted him."

"Oh Remus," she exclaimed gently. Her hand gripped his tighter.

Remus shrugged. "It is what it is. Are you gonna stop talking to me now?"

"Why should i?"

He stared at her. Rowan returned his confused gaze with a unfathomable one of her own. "But…I'm a werewolf…"

"So?"

"So! I'm a monster!"

"On one night of the month of whenever the full moon happens," she clarified.

"I hurt you." He pointed out.

"I hurt myself on a daily basis thanks to my pig headedness and my stupid need to tinker on magic!" Rowan waved a careless hand.

Remus let out a hollow laugh. "I'm so sorry. It's gonna leave a scar isn't it?" he said a little regretfully running a finger over one of the cuts.

She shrugged again. "If it does, then it's no big deal. Merlin knows I have plenty of other scars. Besides, at least if these don't fade, they'll have an interesting story to remember."

He smiled at this. She was so cavalier about all of this. There had to be a catch. Then she suddenly whapped his arm. "Remus John Lupin! Why didn't you tell me?" she demanded.

Aaaaannnd there it was. The catch.

"Ow! Well. Uh. Erm. Well, it's not something you blab about it." Remus stammered.

"I'm your mate you git!" she said indignantly.

"I know, and that's why I didn't want to tell you, I was afraid you wouldn't want to mates with me anyone." He replied weakly.

Rowan softened. She harrumphed and squirmed a little bit trying to get comfortable. "Well. Guess what I'm not going bloody anywhere." She said strongly.

Remus let out a breath. "I'm so sorry. I hurt you."

"Don't worry about it. It's not like you didn't mean to. Besides, you actually proved to be quite useful. You helped me realize that the disillusionment charm that I've been working on needs a whole lot more work."

"Oh! What are you trying to do with it?" Remus asked grateful to change the subject.

Rowan launched into an in depth discussion of what she was trying to attempt and Remus felt himself relaxing a bit. Never had he met someone other than James and Sirius who had accepted his condition so easily and then moved on from it so quickly. He was lucky to have friends like these. He made a mental note to get her a big bar of Honeydukes finest chocolate for being the weirdo she was.

* * *

Lily burst through the Hospital Wing doors and rushed up to where Rowan and Remus were. Rowan was apparently asleep and Remus was reading in the bed next to her since he had begged Madame Pompfrey to allow him to move.

"Where the hell have you two been?" Lily demanded her skin flushed from running to the Hospital Wing.

"Oh you know. Just getting into scrapes, causing chaos, injecting corruption into the world. The usual." Remus replied mildly.

"Get up Rowan!" Lily shook her mate without the slightest regard to her condition.

"Oi! Be careful she broke her ribs last night," Remus cautioned. Lily gaped at him.

"She _what_? What on earth did she do to do that?" Lily exclaimed.

Remus mumbled something and then Rowan stirred. She cracked an eye open.

"Lily? What time is it?" she asked sleepily.

"It's almost two in the afternoon. Remus told me you broke your ribs?" Lily asked.

"Oh yeah. I did. They're nearly all done resetting though, so I should be able to blow this fish and chips stand in a couple of hours." Rowan waved a hand.

"Rowan!" Lily huffed.

"What? What did I do?" Rowan asked confused.

"You're such a…ugh I don't even know what you are."

"Crazy?" Remus said helpfully. Lily nodded.

"You guys…I'm not _that_ crazy," Rowan said annoyed.

"Yes, you are. And Remus why on earth are you here?" Lily turned her attention on her mate.

Remus mumbled something again. Rowan pursed her lips. "Well?"

"You should tell her Remy," Rowan said softly. Remus' head snapped up and he looked speechless at her. She widened her eyes.

"Tell me what? What's going on? And Rowan how did you get those nasty cuts?" Lily asked quickly.

Silence.

"She got them from me," Remus finally said.

Lily's emerald eyes widened and she stared at her two mates. "Care to explain this one?"

"Lily…" Remus began. Then he stopped. Rowan nodded encouragingly. He took a deep breath.

"I'm a werewolf. I attacked Rowan last night." Remus said heavily. Rowan nodded in agreement.

"You what? You're a what?" Lily sputtered.

"He's a werewolf and he attacked me," Rowan said in a bored voice.

Lily's eyes nearly bugged out of her head. "Oh."

"Oh?" Remus echoed bewildered.

"Well. Erm. What I mean to say is…well…man it must really blow to be you!" Lily stammered.

While she hadn't intended this to be funny, it came out funny and Rowan burst out laughing. Even Remus gave a wan smile.

"Sorry. I'm just having a little trouble processing this. Aw Remus, I'm sorry! Is there anything we can do?" Lily asked looking at him with concern.

Remus felt thoroughly bamboozeled. Okay, perhaps he could understand why Rowan acted the way she did when he told her, she was a little crazy. But Lily? She should be running in the opposite direction!

"Uhhhh Lily? Did you trip and fall and bonk your head on the way here?" Remus asked .

"No…."

"Then how come you're taking all of this really, really well?" Remus asked incredulously.

"You're a werewolf. I'm absorbing it still." Lily said before falling silent. Then a moment later, "Okay it's absorbed!" she announced.

Rowan snorted and smiled slightly. Remus just looked at her. Then he pinched her.

"Ow!"

"Am I dreaming?"

"If you were dreaming, then you'd have to pinch yourself," She said pinching Remus.

"Ow!" Remus rubbed his forearm. Lily grinned. "So, like I said before, is there anything we can do?"

"Don't tell anyone else. Other than that, nothing much you can do. But I'm really bowled over you you're taking this in stride."

"What's there to process? You have…a monthly problem. No big deal. We girls have monthly problems too…albeit a less painful and dangerous…" Lily began to ramble.

Remus looked faintly uncomfortable and Rowan sighed deeply. "Lily…shut up! No one but girls need to talk about that stuff."

"Oh. Sorry."

"Man what would you do without me?" Rowan said looking up at the ceiling.

"Jump off the Astronomy Tower?"

"No, that's Rowan. That's Rowan without all of us!" Remus teased.

"HEY!"

* * *

_A/N: Aaannnd there you go. Lily and Rowan, the dream team for life. **I'd love if you reviewed! :) xoxoxo**_


	10. Varying Degrees of Idiocy

_A/N: I'm still ill unfortunately (stupid bloody weather can't decide to make up it's mind) but I wanted to get the first part of this chapter out! Thank you for your support and reviews, I WILL get back to you, I promise. Anyhooooo, here's the next chappie and I would appreciate if you'd review! Stay awesome everyone._

* * *

After the two girls had been clued into their mate's little problem and after he had blurted out that James, Sirius and Peter were all animagus and helped him deal with the transformation, the pair of them had shouted at the Marauders quite a bit for not telling them sooner. Then they both grudgingly admit that it was rather impressive that they managed how to figure out to turn into animagus on their own two years ago.

"He's bloody well smart you know," Rowan said to Lily over lunch one day. She mumbled something in response, trying to eat her dinner and concentrate on her Charms homework at the same time.

"And he's not that bad on the eyes," Rowan pressed on seeing if Lily was paying any attention to what she was saying.

"I think his eyes are rather lovely," Lily said absent minded. Rowan's face split into a gleeful smile.

"Lily EVANS!" she practically shrieked. Several people looked at her and she lowered her voice.

Lily flushed and muttered something again. "Don't' start Ro."

Rowan harrumphed but let it slide. "Fine. I'll bug you later about this."

"Bug her 'bout what?" Sirius asked curiously sliding next to Rowan.

"SIRIUS!" A group of giggly fourth year girls shrieked. Rowan could have sworn she heard him groan.

Sometimes Sirius rued the fact that he had the whole dark good looks and rebellious attitude thing going on. He made a mental note to make an attitude adjustment in the near future.

"Hello there" He replied with his easy grin.

"How's the first weeks of term treating you?"

"Not so bad thanks. What about you girls?"

"It's bearable, prolli because of you," a girl giggled.

"Say Sirius, are you going with anyone to the Halloween Ball?" another girl interjected unabashedly.

Peter gagged and Rowan rolled her eyes. And people called _her_ crazy?

"Ah, well, about that yeah I'll get back to you on that. See you later girls." Sirius said trying to maintain his dignity while struggling not to laugh.

"We'll be thinking about you Sirius, in our dreams" They told him before leaving.

"He'll be thinking about you too girls! About how he'd rather have his tongue yanked out and wrapped around his throat before even getting into a proper conversation with you!" Rowan yelled at them unable to contain herself.

"Classy Rowan. Real classy." Sirius said dryly.

"You know it." She replied.

"I was being polite." He argued.

"Can you say 'pervert'? They're three years younger than you!" She tossed back.

"Oh go to hell."

"You're not supposed to laugh when you say that."

"Jesus Padfoot, do you have to hog all the girls to yourself?" Peter said a little grumpily.

"Hey it's not as if I ask for all this attention!" Sirius protested.

"Noooo….you just fell down from the sky, with nefarious exploitation of your Michaelangelo crafted looks and wanted to be invisible!" Rowan said taking a swig of her pumpkin juice.

"Nefarious?" Sirius echoed.

"Exploitation?" Peter said blankly. Lily laughed.

"I'm getting you two a dictionary AND a thesaurus for Christmas," Remus sighed.

* * *

"Hey Forlani!" A voice called after her. Pausing, Rowan halted in her tracks. She glanced at her watch and saw she was going to be tardy for Charms.

"Can I help you? And can you make it quick, I'm going to be late," She said.

"Yes, hi, I'm Tiffany Rigley." The blonde stuck out her hand.

"Do I know you?" Rowan asked shaking her hand nonetheless.

"Nah, but I wanted to ask you a question."

"Fire away."

"Oh okay, er, em, are you and Sirius…" Tiffany trailed off.

"What about Sirius?" Rowan asked coolly.

"Is he free?"

"I dunno. Why?"

"I was wondering if he was going to the dance with anyone or if he was free."

"Oh. Well, don't look at me mate, ask him yourself."

"Do you think you could mention my name to him?" Tiffany pressed on.

At this Rowan lost her patience. She was so sick of being the go to girl between the female population and Sirius, and James. Plenty of girls asked her information for James too, but not nearly as much as they did for Sirius.

"No." Rowan replied bluntly. Then she turned on her heel and began to walk away.

"Bitch," she heard Tiffany mutter.

Now Rowan felt her temper go up. She was already feeling edgy enough as it is with the amount of work she had along and she could feel the beginning of a migraine eating at her head. "Yeah that's right! I'm the biggest, littlest bitch you'll ever know!" she shouted referring to her small size.

Then she swore and stomped off towards Charms.

When she stormed into the Charms Classroom she walked up to her seat and slapped Sirius, hard, on the back of his head.

"Ow! What the hell was that for?" he yelped.

"For being you, you stupid prat!" she growled before taking her seat.

* * *

As the days continued to pass them, the Seventh Years found themselves suffering under a deluge of coursework and tough lessons. Rowan felt the pesky migraines become more and more frequent and she had quieted down a little bit. James and the rest of the group knew that these types of things happened whenever she was stuck working on some new magic.

All in all, they were adjusting to the fact that this was their last year and they had to start thinking about the real world. Rowan had not the faintest clue what she wanted to do with her life. She tended to tune herself out whenever her teachers started talking about their futures. The future depressed her.

Rowan brooded as she made her way to meet the others after one of her free periods one morning. Why did time have to go by so fast, and why did she have to be so damn clueless when it came to figuring out her life?

She was jerked out of her thoughts rather nastily when Sirius hugged her.

Sirius and James had caused their cauldron to explode in Potions, both of them stunk of stinksap and their hair was plastered to their faces. Lily however was roaring with laughter. Professor Slughorn had awarded her twenty points for producing a bezoar as opposed to actually making a potion, something that shocked Remus.

"Rowan, I love you." Sirius said giving her a big hug on purpose.

"Oh shut up. Merlin! What's that smell?" Rowan said as she wiggled out of Sirius' slimy arms.

Lily sputtered trying not to laugh, and then Rowan took a long look at both boys. Then she looked down at herself. The thought seemed to have finally registered in her head.

"Sirius Black. You. Are. Road kill." She said in a deadly tone.

He snorted and suddenly was forced to duck as Rowan heaved her Arithmancy book at his head.

"YOU LITTLE BUGGER!"

"Sorry!"

"ARGH!"

She went to tackle Sirius, regardless of smelling of stinksap, and leapt on his back.

"I don't do hugs. Especially from stinking seventh year boys!"

"It was a joke!"

"Oh ha, ha! Very funny, you dick!" Rowan growled as she messed up his hair.

"Oh bugger off."

Rowan muttered an oath and stomped back towards where Lily, Remus and Peter were standing.

"Don't you dare laugh. Otherwise, I'll give you a lovely hug too." She drew her wand and directed it at Sirius. He fell over.

She had given him a jelly legs curse.

"Remind me why I'm mates with you again?" He groaned trying to stand up.

"'Cos you're an idiot." She replied.

* * *

September passed by with minor occurrences. Rowan was constantly tinkering on magic and coursework (when Lily reminded her to) and the Marauders were constantly in chaos, sending each other the edge with faced paced dialogue, book smacking, orange juice dumping and charging each other with spears they nicked from the old suits of armour they had found one afternoon. As long as no one ended up in the hospital wing, then the Lily and Rowan let this behaviour go on.

Besides that, life was quite boring in Lily's eyes, all they could do was study, study and study some more. It almost made her wish she had some guy to snog with, just to liven things up. Her eyes wandered across the common room and came to a stop at seeing James' smiling face as he talked with Remus and Peter. Then Lily jolted out of her thoughts.

She was not checking James Potter out. Definitely not. She was just tired and bored. Rowan was right, she really did need to find a hobby.

However as September blurred into October, Lily found herself staring at James, studying his hands, wondering what it would feel like to have them touching her face and soon her thoughts became increasingly graphic, she blushed. Rowan waltzed into the common room one afternoon and noticed a bright red Lily and grinned wickedly. Her mood had picked up all of a sudden and she was relatively chipper, well, as chipper as a person with wild mood swings could be, in Lily's opinion.

"Oho! What's going on Lily? Who ya perving on?" Rowan asked grinning.

"What? Oh. No one!" Lily answered blushing even more.

"You know Lily, you've never really gone out with anyone for awhile…maybe it's time." Rowan trailed off when she saw the look on her mate's face.

"That's cos I'm seen as James' girl!" Lily growled.

"Well, honey, maybe you are meant to be his girl. Merlin knows that you'd make a pretty couple." Rowan said playing with her mate's hair.

"But moving back to you, I have to ask a serious question. Do you like James?"

Lily stiffened at that. Rowan came around and sat on top of the table and took her friend's hands in her own and spoke soothingly. "It's ok if you do Lils. We're all waiting for you to figure it out for yourself."

"We?" Lily whispered agitated.

"We meaning the boys, Marlene, the professors, Dumbledore and everyone else in this lunatic school."

Lily didn't look up. "I don't know. I don't know anything any more Rowan. What if I get crushed or it doesn't work out or—"

Rowan smiled down at her mate, "Lily, James has been head over heels with you since you were 14. I don't think he's going to dump you after a week, he's not like Sirius, Lily who has loads of girls chasing after him and has no interest in a relationship. Trust me. James _wants_ to be with you. "

_He's not Sirius._ Sirius overheard Rowan say as he passed through the Portrait Hole and saw the two girls talking in hushed tones. He wondered who they were talking about, and wondered if Rowan was referring to her ex boyfriend in favour of him. And then it hit him.

What the hell was he thinking?

This was _Rowan_.

The girl who he fought with, worked with and romped around with. She was his mate. Not a date or dating potential.

Ok. That was a lie. She definitely was dating material. But not for _him_, he thought to himself, though he had wondered over the years what it'd be like to kiss her. But he was a guy. And that was natural.

_Ah yes, but she's single. So you could find out what it'd be like to kiss her_ said a sly voice in his head.

_Oh yeah, and that would make me look like a real git._ He reasoned against the voice.

_Ask her to the ball you dumbass._

_No! _ a new voice chimed in. _ Get to know her more than as the girl you dump orange juice over and the girl who smacks you with her Arithmancy book_.

Sirius turned red immediately. Where the hell did all these voices come from?

_Shut up you two. I didn't even know you guys existed._

Whilst Sirius was busy battling the voices in his head, he nearly missed Rowan being asked out by another guy. He studied their interaction with keen eyes. He watched with a certain satisfaction as the boy walked away seemingly rejected.

Sirius crossed the room to join her, therefore making the rest of the lads troop over.

"So what, was that the hundredth guy whose asked you?" Peter asked.

"No!" Rowan blushed slightly. "And he was only number five." She added.

"Wow add one more and you'll have an even half dozen." Sirius remarked sarcastically.

"What about you Lily, anyone?" Remus asked good-humouredly.

"Well seeing as I have big sign on my back saying I'm 'James' Girl', then no, no one." Lily said throwing a glare at James.

"You know, you could just screw the man, as in the man whose big brother, all authority, the government, that kind of man, and go out with him," Rowan casually remarked playing with Sirius tie. She had untied it and had slid it off his shirt. Now she had it tied off the side of her head. She looked faintly ridiculous.

"What?" Lily nearly screeched before reminding herself she was in doors, and above all, was Head Girl.

"And it makes perfect sense, Head Girl and Head Boy. Can't get any more authoritative than that can you?" Rowan barrelled on. Peter looked at her, waiting for Lily to strangle Rowan at any moment.

Sirius got in on this right away, he wasn't going to let Rowan get away with the entire credit of getting his two mates together. "I think that makes sense. Plus it'll show a good image off to the school."

James didn't say anything. If he did, Lily would probably slap him. Again.

Lily chewed over this. She knew Rowan was trying to help, she wasn't sure whether she wanted to kill her roommate or thank her. "Weeeeelll…."

Remus held his breath and crossed his arms over his chest. Rowan stifled a laugh. "Wait wait wait, he's got to do it right though? Otherwise, you two would be breaking traditional _ rules, _ and I don't need to mind a Head Boy or Head Girl who break traditions, or rules for all that matter." Rowan said now twirling her wand.

Sirius could see James smiling slightly, "All right mates, I think we ought to leave Head Boy and Head Girl alone to discuss things regarding rules and all that other rubbish. Plus I need to get out of this uniform. I hate these shirts." Sirius said tugging at the collar of his school shirt.

Mumbling something about Charms homework, Remus went back to his own table to work while Peter returned to the couch. Rowan however, followed Sirius up to his dorm still wearing the damn tie around her head.

"Sooooo, that went well." Rowan said. Sirius had his head inside his cupboard and stuck his head out to see her sitting on his bed Indian style. He smiled at her and poured himself a goblet of water.

"I think it did. It's about time those two got their act together. The pair of them were acting like a bunch of children," Sirius rambled.

"We are children," Rowan reminded him. Sirius snorted at this.

"Says you, you're the one with the tie around your head."

"Oh. Here," She chucked his tie at him. Deftly he caught it with a flick of his wrist, reminding Rowan that he could move faster than he portrayed.

"Nice," Rowan said appreciatively. Sirius smirked slightly.

They had been friends for almost four years now and from the beginning after adjusting to each other's personalities, they had been quite frank with each other. Rowan had told him right off bat that he was, in her words, "A dark haired Adonis, albeit with a over-inflated head," but that was okay because his music tastes made up for his big-headedness.

Over the years, Sirius had definitely pondered what it would be like to kiss her, it was only natural because he was a bloke, and she was his mate, it was only natural to amuse himself with theoretical situations.

It was _not_, however, entirely appropriate to amuse himself with highly inappropriate thoughts that concerned her. But he did that too and he always felt a little guilty afterwards but then he shrugged it off. As long as he didn't act on it or accidentally say some of these x-rated thoughts out loud to any of his mates or Rowan, or Lily for that matter then everything was good. After all, he was a seventeen-year-old boy.

He wasn't sure what made him say it; the words came out of his mouth on their own.

"Hey Rowan, do you want to go to the Halloween ball with me? As a mate." He added making sure his intentions were clear to her.

Rowan raised an eyebrow and studied him. "Why are you asking me? There are plenty of other girls who'd die if they could go with you."

"Exactly. Thought it might be nice to go with someone who can carry her end of a conversation with no trouble. Plus it'll be nice to go with someone where there's no pressure to make a move or do anything stupid." Sirius explained.

She just rolled her eyes at this. "Right. I see."

"Not that I don't think you're date material," Sirius quickly broke in. "You're plenty fit, believe me, but I thought it'd be nice to actually enjoy my last Halloween Ball with someone I know and have fun with." He added nearly tripping over his words. Sirius mentally face palmed himself as he felt himself digging him deeper into a hole. Sheesh.

She laughed and leaned on the back of her palms. "Stop digging," she said as if she could read his mind.

"Man I why do I always end up looking like an idiot with you?" Sirius sighed running a hand over his face.

"Because I'm awesome." She shrugged. Sirius let out a bark-like laugh.

"So what'd you say eh? Wanna be my date?" he repeated.

She gave him an apologetic smile. "Sorry mate, I'd love to help you out there but I can't go."

"Oh," Sirius felt a tiny wave of disappointment wash over him but he shrugged it off. Then he asked, "Why not?"

"I've already got a date,"

"_What_?" Sirius said. This came out a wee bit louder than he intended it to. "What?" he asked a little quieter.

"I…have a date? Someone asked me earlier and I said yes." Rowan gave him a strange look.

"Oh. Well. Um good for you. Whose the lucky bloke?"

"Benjy," she replied flicking through his Charms Book.

"Fenwick?" he asked incredulously.

"How many Benjy's do you know?" Rowan sarcastically answered.

"Not the point! When did he ask you?"

"One time when I was in the library. I don't really mark the dates for these kinds of things…"

"I thought you didn't care for him," Sirius said almost a little accusingly.

Rowan flopped back on his bed and threw an arm over her eyes. "Aw man c'mon Sirius. Weren't you the one who encouraged me to give the poor boy a chance in the first place? And no, I don't care for him, I don't even know him!"

"Then why'd you say 'Yes'?" He grilled her.

"I don't know! I wasn't thinking! My brain decided to take a holiday! I thought, for once, I may be a little nice to someone who wasn't my mate and maybe, just maybe, have fun getting to know someone!" She exclaimed a little crossly.

Sirius immediately felt bad. He had upset her. He didn't mean to do that. He knew that she didn't really date a lot, not that because she couldn't, she got asked out frequently, it's just that she always so busy in her own world or she was swinging in her moods that she had a hard time dealing with her own existence. At least, that's why she explained why she never dated seriously in school.

"I'm sorry. Rowan, really, by now you know that I am a professional git. Benjy's a nice guy. I'm sure you'll have a great time," Sirius apologized sincerely as he sat next to her.

She sighed deeply and sat up. She didn't say anything for a moment. "I don't even know him Sirius. Besides it's just one ball and I'm prolli gonna spend most of the dance hanging out with you lot. Like always."

His lips quirked at this. "Yeah. We always do end up just hanging out in one big group. I wonder why."

"It's because it's more fun that way. If I had it my way I'd just be going stag. I like doing things by myself. Means I'm not obligated to anyone." Rowan grumbled. "Man why did I have to choose to be stupid on that particular day and say 'Yes' to him?"

"Because you're seventeen and in school. It's what we're supposed to do," Sirius reminded her gently rapping her nose with his wand.

* * *

_A/N: And the dream team couple of Lily and James gets a weee bit closer to becoming a reality! **Be good and please review. :) xoxoxo**_


	11. A Twist

_A/N: Okkkk I meant to get this out a lot earlier but things have been so chaotic in all aspects of life, I'm still ill (bloody weak immune system), work has been horrendous lately thanks to technology. Anyway! Thank you so much for your support, alerts and reviews. I really appreciate them. Hopefully things begin to look up in work and health wise, I'm a bit fed up with being ill. I'm done babbling, read, enjoy and review. :)  
_

* * *

Sirius stabbed moodily at his vegetables. Lily insisted that he and the rest of the boys have one serving of vegetables at least twice a week. While he often moaned at this, he secretly was pleased that Lily cared so much about them, though he would never confess it.

"Something got you in a tizzy Sirius?" Peter asked studying his mate closely.

He mumbled something and Peter's eyes sharpened on him. "Padfoot?"

"Do you ever get the feeling, Peter, that sometimes you think you know everything you think you need to know, then suddenly feel as if you're over your head?" Sirius sighed.

"Mate I feel like I'm in over my head every day of my life," Peter replied taking a swig of pumpkin juice.

"Man who died?" James asked plunking down beside Sirius. He piled his plate with food and looked at Sirius expectantly.

"No one. So you and Lily are officially going to the dance?" Sirius inquired changing subjects.

"Yeap! We are. Can't believe she said yes, but I'm glad whatever conked her in the head worked out in my favour," James said happily.

Sirius just looked at him and then lightly flicked James' forehead. "You disgust me sometimes."

"Shaddup. So have you made some lucky girl's day yet and got yourself a date yet Padfoot?"

"Nope. I asked Rowan—"

"YOU DID WHAT?" James yelped. Several people looked at him and McGonagall's eyes flashed over at him and he lowered his voice.

"I asked Rowan to go,"

"Are you out of your mind?" Peter exclaimed.

"—As a mate." Sirius interrupted annoyed.

"Oh. Well that's okay then. In fact for once maybe you'll have a good time!" James said thoughtfully.

"…She said no. And why is it okay to ask her a mate and not as a date? Sirius finished narrowing his eyes at James.

"Oh, she said 'no'? Huh. Why?" Peter said.

"Already got a date," Sirius answered glumly. Then he directed his attention to James again. "Prongs? Answer the question you git."

"What? Oh. Well, this is thing mate, Rowan is our mate, and she's like my sister, in fact, no she is my sister, blood be damned, and even though you don't date that much in general, the fact that girls chase after you gives you…I don't know. Point is, you even think about toeing that line, ever, and I will have to kill you." James explained in a matter of fact voice.

"So are you saying that she's off limits? Hypothetically speaking?" Sirius asked greatly interested.

"There IS no hypothetical situation. Nor theoretical situation. It's just a dangerous line toeing between friendship and other "ships" mate. Plus it's Rowan. She's special. Like Lily. She's special too. And Marlene."

Remus sputtered at this and Sirius looked at James quizzically. "What does that have to do with anything?"

"Mooney's soft on Marlene," James said smugly. Remus flushed. Sirius raised a brow.

"How'd you know?" Remus hissed. James smirked. "I've seen you perving on her!"

"Oi! I do not perv, I observe," Remus corrected. "And she's pretty!" he added earnestly.

"That she is. She's a fine looking girl." Sirius agreed.

"Who's a fine looking girl?" Rowan's voice said as she slid into a seat next to Remus. "If we're talking about Lily, then yes, she's a fine looking girl. Gorgeous in fact. I love her eyes."

"Me too!" James said dreamily. Peter flicked a pea at him and he snapped out of his momentary lapse.

"We were talking about Marlene actually," Sirius slid a look at Remus who glared at him.

"Oh! She's a lovely looking girl too. She's got a great nose, Grecian, lucky girl." Rowan said heartedly as she began eating her dinner.

James started laughing. Remus shook his head. "You say the oddest things Rowan," Peter remarked.

"What? She does have a good nose!" Rowan protested. She really didn't think what was so odd about what she was saying; she was just voicing her honest observations. For Pete's sake, she lived with said objects of discussion.

"Oh Rowan," James cuffed an arm around her and tousled her hair affectionately. She squirmed under him and James laughed harder.

"Hey, Ro, tell me something. What do you think of mates dating each other?" Peter asked wanting to play devil's advocate. Sirius choked on his water.

She shrugged and then thoughtfully chewed her food for a moment. "Well. I think it depends on how good of mates you are. Sometimes I think the best relationships come from friendship. But in some cases I think it can definitely ruin things between a pair of friends if feelings are not reciprocated. It's kind of hard to recover from a thing like that you know…I mean. You tell someone "I love you", but then don't hear it back…ouch mate. Just yowza." Rowan said.

"Yowza?" Peter echoed.

"It can be just painful if things don't work out between. I mean how would you feel if you told your best mate that you were in love with them and they said oh I don't know, "Thank you" or worse, they didn't say anything at all?" She continued.

Sirius just stared at her dumbfounded. "You're right dating your mates sounds like a terrible idea." He said decisively.

"For you, definitely. Do us all a great big favour Sirius and don't try and date any of us." Rowan said dryly. Sirius saluted her with two fingers.

"Wait wait wait, what about Prongs and Lily?" Remus waved his hands.

"Oh well that's different. James and Lily are meant to be together." Rowan declared.

"Says who? You? How can that be right, you just have the authority to decide who works with who? Lily and James are right, according to you. What about you and me, we could be right too!" Sirius said indignantly.

Rowan snorted inelegantly at this. She looked at him with an un-amused expression. "Believe me Sirius, if you and I ever right together, it'd be in a post apocalyptic world…and we'd be in hell."

"Well I hope we end up going to the same destination in our afterlife." Sirius smirked.

Rowan pointed her wand at Sirius and he toppled backwards off his seat.

"OUCH!' a voice came from the floor.

"Git." Rowan muttered.

* * *

Rowan greatly enjoyed herself when she attended Duelling Club meetings. Professor Flitwick was an excellent teacher and everyone who attended these meetings were enthusiastic about learning defensive spells. That's what she especially liked about being apart of the club, it was the infectious energy that automatically got to you once you bowed to your partner.

However, all of her enjoyment disappeared the Friday night she had been paired up with none other than Regulus Black.

She hadn't purposefully tried to be paired up with the bloke. Usually she and Caradoc paired off, or as of lately, Benjy and they in general had a good time firing hexes and jinxes at each other. The only thing that bothered her was that they simply did not give her their all, they still treated her a little too fragilely. Maybe it was because she was a girl.

Rowan scowled to herself as she rolled up the sleeves of her robes and flexed her fingers. She noticed Benjy automatically slide up to her but then Professor Flitwick squeaked, "Miss Forlani, perhaps you could indulge me and work with someone else?"

"Erm…sure, did you have anyone in mind?"

"I thought it might be time to separate Severus and Regulus…" Flitwick gave the pair of dark haired Slytherin boys a pointed look. They scowled darkly at him.

_Good luck,_ Rowan said in her head but she quickly masked her emotions and adopted a neutral stance. "Sure."

"Excellent, Regulus, please come over here," Flitwick ordered. He exchanged a look with Snape and grudgingly stalked towards her. He briefly met her eyes and then lowered his own. Rowan frowned.

"Tonight we will continue on working with anti-jinxes. Sixth and Seventh Years, these will be non-verbal of course, Fourth and Fifth years will duel verbally." Flitwick clapped his hands.

The pairs of students spread out and Regulus and Rowan walked towards the edge of the Great Hall.

"Partners bow to each other!" Flitwick called out.

Rowan, following the proper rules, bowed low and extended her hands with a flourish, just to piss him off because he was Sirius' little brother. To her utter surprise, he bowed in a gentlemanly manner and they eyed each other coolly.

"Take your paces!"

Rowan and Regulus each stepped backwards about ten paces.

"Wands at the ready!" Flitwick cried.

They raised their wands.

"Go!"

Rowan hit the ground as a bright blue jet of light flew at her from the ground she directed her wand at him and mentally screamed "_Aqua Eructo!"_

A powerful jet of clear water sprung from her wand in a graceful arc. It flew out with such force that it knocked Regulus off his feet in a deluge of water. He coughed and sputtered and raised his wand again.

Rowan scrambled to her feet and blocked his Disarming spell with a Shield Charm. It rebounded and he ducked.

He was still sopping wet, Rowan and Regulus circled each other, calculating their next move. This was new. Usually when she duelled with Caradoc or Benjy it was always very fast, spell after spell being fired continuously at each other. This was the first time she had ever come across someone who actually stopped and thought about the next move.

In hindsight, this would never happen in a real duel or fight. But this was only practice.

He shot a jelly-legs curse at her and she felt herself wobble on her legs. Damn him.

She staggered and fell over. Somehow she managed to wish with all her might to lift this jelly legs curse and waved her wand over herself.

Rowan raised her wand again and directed it with him with a ferocity that was almost scary. "_Collarshoo_" she thought.

Regulus became rooted where he was.

He tried to move again but found his shoes glued to the ground. Growling he tried to move again and then gave up. To solve the problem he simply stepped out of his shoes. Now in his socks, he wiped his brow and glared at her.

Their wands rose in unison. Now it was getting personal.

"_Confundo_!" Regulus thought in his head. Rowan twirled out of the way and he ducked as she aimed a Knock-Back jinx at him. To her disappointment he dived off to one side and it missed him.

_He has good reflexes_, she thought to himself. _I wonder how he got them_. Then she realised that was a stupid question because he player Seeker for the Slytherin Qudditch team.

Their wands flashed light again and again, as the pace began to pick up. She had finally met her match, and she was loosing patience. He was good.

This was the longest practice duelling round she had ever engaged in. it was exhausting.

Her fatigue had caused her to make a big, big mistake. She'd regret that for a long a time in the future.

Regulus sent another hex at her and Rowan yelled in frustration, he took this opportunity to disarm her, she gaped at him.

This wasn't possible. She couldn't _loose._

Her eyes darkened dangerously and she had to reign herself from physically attacking him out of sheer frustration. Instead she raised her wand arm and thought with all of her mind one of her own hexes she had tinkered on.

Regulus was blasted off his feet and flew up into the air. Except, instead of crashing in a heap like one usually did due to gravity, he froze, stop motion in the air.

He was frozen in the air, he couldn't move, he couldn't lift his wand arm. His eyes wheeled terrified in his sockets. From his position above in the air he managed to focus on her and then his mind grinded to a half.

_She didn't have her wand._

If he could have moved his mouth, his jaw would have dropped open in sheer astonishment.

"MISS FORLANI!" Flitwick shouted hurrying to where Regulus was still suspended in the air.

Rowan snapped out of her state of shock then she widened her eyes when she saw her wand lying on the ground. What just happened here?

"Mr. Black are you all right?" Flitwick called up anxiously. He raised his own wand in effort to lower him down. Except he couldn't. Regulus was still stuck.

Regulus couldn't open his mouth or anything. Instead he just closed his eyes and then opened them again. He stared hard at his partner.

"Miss Forlani! What on earth did you do?" Flitwick rounded on her.

He was so tiny, and he was so agitated. Rowan felt the insane need to laugh. She picked up her wand and joined the crowd of students who was gazing up at Regulus. Snape shot her a look.

"Erm..I guess…I must have miscast a spell?" Rowan replied tentatively. Biting her lip nervously she looked up at her partner.

"I can't get him down! What did you do?" Flitwick demanded.

"I don't even know. But hang on..I think maybe I can get him down. Stand back."

The students gave her a wide berth. She had, over the last six years, developed quite the reputation for getting into scraps thanks to magic. Regulus suddenly feared for his life.

She took a deep breath and raised her wand. Muttering to herself she lowered her wand in one, slow, sweeping motion downwards. Regulus felt himself being gently lowered down and then felt his feet touch the ground lightly.

As soon as his feet touched the ground he immediately collapsed on it, grateful to be on solid ground. He just laid there for a moment.

"I think that will be enough for tonight everyone. Good work, same time next week!" Flitwick dismissed the crowd. "Miss Forlani I'm afraid I'm going to have to give you detention for this," he added shooting her a lool. Rowan sighed but nodded.

"Good one Rowan! That's the first time I've ever seen that particular spell!" Benjy rushed up to her with an excited air.

"Oh. Um. Thanks I guess." Rowan said tiredly. She wanted to figure out what the hell just happened. She wasn't in the mood to talk to Benjy.

"Walk you out of the Great Hall?" Benjy offered with a hopeful look on his face.

Rowan debated this for a moment. She was tired and frankly, astounded at the events of tonight. But he was being so nice and he looked all hopeful, she didn't want to be mean. "Sure. Just give me a minute okay?" He nodded and went off to where Caradoc and a few other Seventh Years were standing.

She cautiously came closer to Regulus and crouched down. She didn't feel like it was entirely appropriate to nudge him with her foot, one, because he was a Slytherin, and two, she barely knew him.

"Black?" she asked quietly. He lifted his head off the ground. "Are you…are you okay?" She felt utterly stupid asking that question.

"Never have I ever been so glad to be on the ground, in my entire existence." He said.

This was the most amount of words Rowan had ever heard him speak. She blinked.

His voice was not anything at all at all she imagined. Every time she heard him he was mumbled or muttered. His voice was soft, even, musical in a way. It surprised her even further.

Regulus got to his feet abruptly and exhaled a breath. Without another word he turned on his heel and strode away to meet Snape, the only other Slytherin there.

She rose again and studied the back of him. Tonight had been interesting.

* * *

In fact that night had been so interesting that she staid in bed all weekend long, only emerging for showers and meals. She was deep in thought and unusually quiet at meal times and this didn't faze the Marauders or her roommates. They were used to her odd behaviour.

She did all her homework in the dead of night in the Common Room that required writing, and then did all of her other reading homework and memorization of Arithmancy charts in bed.

In between all that Rowan would stare deeply up at the ceiling of her bed and snuggled under her covers. She did some of her best thinking in bed under all the layers she had.

Her brows knitted as she replayed the events of Friday night in her mind yet again. Regulus had disarmed her. She hadn't been aware of the loss of her wand. Then she plastered Regulus in the air.

Without the wand.

It didn't surprise her of her choice of spell. For crying out loud, she had invented the spell, so she could well bloody use it.

But she did it without her wand.

A gleeful smile broke out on her face.

She had performed wandless magic!

She mentally did a dance for herself. Then she focused her mind again.

She had worked months on the spell. It had taken her the majority of six year to develop and create that particular hex. Hexes were much more harder to create than Charms. She had sustained a numerous amount of injuries whilst working on it. She still had the scars to show it.

Rowan had never seriously thought of wandless magic. Sure, she knew of it, but she had never entertained the notion that she, or anyone really, could actually do it. But, she reasoned, that Dumbledore and some other powerful wizards and witches must be able to do it.

Back in their first year they had learned about the topic of wandless magic briefly in Charms and Transfiguration. She remembered McGonagall and Flitwick stressing that it takes an extraordinary amount of will power and discipline. She also recalled them saying that wandless magic could be extremely volatile if tried without any prior knowledge.

The wheels in her head began to turn faster. Rowan thought about how children perform underage magic, they certainly didn't have wands, yet there were some mishaps or magical accidents that occurred. And that was all wandless magic too.

So, she mused, all witches and wizards potentially had the capability of performing wandless magic. However it depended on how you grew up and handled your magic once armed with a wand and the knowledge of magical concepts.

At the end of the day it depended on how you understand, and then _apply the concepts_.

Understand, apply, then _interpret_ concepts.

_Then bend and break concepts to make new concepts._

Rowan's eyes glittered in the moonlight that filtered in their dorm. It was nearly five in the morning and she wasn't tired at all. Instead she felt exhilarated.

She had done it. She had performed wandless magic, without fully understanding how. So she made a new resolution.

She'd master wandless magic. Even if it killed her.

Feeling a new sense of purpose injected into her existence, Rowan closed her eyes and tried to catch a few winks before breakfast.

* * *

Rowan wasn't the only one replaying the events of Friday night in her head. A certain Regulus Black was deep in thought over it too. On Monday morning, Regulus stepped into the shower and closed his eyes as the water streamed down his body.

She was very good at magic, he thought as he scrubbed himself vigorously. Unconsciously he scrubbed a little harder at the Dark Mark that was engraved into his left forearm.

He had received his Dark Mark the day after he turned sixteen at the end of last year. His cousin Bellatrix had been there along with Lucius Malfoy as they watched his initiation. His parents had been so proud of him that day. He smiled at the memory.

Lathering shampoo into his hair he brooded over Rowan Forlani. She had quite a reputation of being an eccentric person. She was notorious for losing her temper and causing serious damage to the school. She also was probably the only girl in Hogwarts History to land up in more detentions than anyone, except maybe James Potter and his brother Sirius.

His fellow housemates taunted her by calling her a dirty gypsy because she wasn't English. The rest of the school called her the gypsy girl too because of her features and accent. He wondered what countries gypsies came from and where, what he thought, her accent was from.

He wrenched the hot water tap off and wrapped a towel around his waist. Wincing slightly as the cooler air of the bathroom hit his bare skin, he hurriedly dried himself and pulled on his clothes.

He ought to go to the library, he decided. Maybe read up a little bit more about where witches and wizards of the international world. Perhaps he could get an idea of where she might be from.

Regulus suddenly halted in his tracks at all of these thoughts. Why on earth was he so interested in learning about this girl? She was a _Gryffindor_ for heaven's sake. And she was friends with his brother, the worst kind of blood traitor. His mum couldn't get out of bed for weeks after Sirius had run away from home nearly two years back.

A scowl marred his handsome features at the thought of his brother. He had ruined their family. He had caused his mum pain. Regulus' grey eyes darkened, to him, nothing was more important than family. And Sirius had not only crossed over the line, he had clearly obliterated the line and never looked back.

Regulus made his way down the empty corridors looking forward to eating breakfast alone. It was still early, only seven in the morning. He rather liked having the Great Hall nearly to himself. It was quieter. He could hear himself think.

Pouring himself a cup of coffee, he nodded at Snape who was also an early bird. "Morning Severus,"

"Morning Regulus," his Housemate replied engrossed in the _Daily Prophet. _

What he best liked about Snape, was the fact that didn't feel the need to be talking all the time. Their silences were comfortable. He didn't mind sharing the Great Hall with Snape.

"So what was it liked being beaten by the gypsy girl?" Snape asked from behind his paper after a while

Regulus shrugged and bit into a piece of toast. "Be grateful for the ground mate. The ground and gravity are your friends."

Snape snorted at this. "She's an odd duck that one,"

"So are you!" Regulus huffed.

Snape muttered something. "But at least I'm English mate. She's a foreigner. A blood gypsy one too. "

"What does that have to do with anything?"

"Gypsies are just as bad as mudbloods," Snape said.

"And Blood traitors I suppose?" Regulus replied cynically.

"Blood traitors are scum," Snape answered coolly.

Regulus bit back another retort. He suddenly felt annoyed. "And besides, have you seen the way she looks? Disgraceful. With all those piercings and bangles…" Snape continued.

Regulus raised his eyebrows. He hadn't noticed this, he was too busy trying to keep himself from being blown into pieces by her at Duelling Club practice. "What's wrong with piercings?"

"She has so many of them! Merlin…she looks like she needs to be a groupie or something…"

"How do you know all of this? You've been perving on her?" Regulus taunted.

"No. I sit behind her in Defence Against the Dark Arts. Her hair is always tied up. Her piercings are plain as daylight for anyone to see." Snape replied frostily.

"Oh." And with that Regulus shut up. He began to think about her again. He would never admit this out loud to anyone, but truth be told, he rather liked her looks. He liked her strong features; in particular he liked the angularity of her cheekbones. It gave her face a certain fierceness to it, which he thought, (granted he barely knew her,) suited her just fine.

* * *

_A/N: Things are just **starting** to get interested people. Bear me with readers, Mr. Regulus Black will play a pivotal part in this fic. Be good and please review! Both Black brothers would appreciate that, (so would I) xoxoxo_


	12. A Tiff

_A/N: As always, thank you for your support, alerts and of course your reviews. **The reviews really help me write consistently and update sooner rather than later** (if I had my way, I'd be able to update nearly everyday!). And if you have any questions or comments, don't hesitate to let me know! I hope you enjoy some of the pop culture references there, some of my favourite reads are mentioned in here. :) Enjoy and please review!_

* * *

The Marauders were making their way towards breakfast, grumbling to among themselves. Peter apparently snored too loudly and that prevented Sirius from getting a good night's sleep.

"Honestly, we ought to put a silencing charm on you Peter!" Sirius grumbled as he stomped down the stairs.

"Well sorrrryyee for preventing you from getting your beauty sleep!" Peter retaliated.

Lily snorted and the boys turned towards her. Remembering herself, she kept quiet again.

"Shut up Wormtail."

"Peter, one , Sirius zip." James whispered to Remus grinning, snickering, Remus nodded his head in agreement.

"But you do agree with me, don't you James?" Sirius asked heatedly. James had the "oh-crap" face on, and he shrugged.

"Eh, I don't need the beauty sleep Sirius. I'm good looking enough thank you very much." James teased.

"Keep up with those statements mate, and you're gonna wake up with some serious damage to your face mate," Sirius growled banging into a seat. He yanked a teapot towards him and poured himself a cup of tea.

"Boys boys, settle, c'mon the day hasn't even started yet," Lily sighed digging into her breakfast.

"The day doesn't need to start, it's Monday, the worst day of the week. We've got Double Potions," Sirius groused. He was rather cranky.

"Man someone did not take his happy pill this morning," Remus said under his breath. Peter sniggered.

"I didn't get any sleep!" Ow!" Sirius shouted as Rowan came out of nowhere and lightly slapped the back of his head affectionately.

"Don't you dare complain about lack of sleep Mr. Black, you're don't suffer from severe insomnia," she said dryly taking a seat beside him.

"You don't suffer from Peter's snoring! It's like a bloody train!" Sirius protested. Peter shot him a deep seated look of annoyance.

"Dorm room problems mate, tough," she replied.

Just then Benjy came into the Great Hall with a few other Seventh Year Ravenclaws and he raised his chin in the universal gesture that said, "Hey, I think you're cute, please say something to me otherwise I'm gonna feel really stupid."

Rowan resisted the urge to roll her eyes but instead said lightly, "Morning Benjy,"

"Morning Rowan. You still riding off the awesomeness you had on Friday night?" he asked.

She smiled slightly and shook her head. "Enough to get me through Monday at least. And you know Mondays are rather terrible."

"That they are, save me a seat in Arithmancy yeah?"

"Maybe," Rowan said smiling, her eyes weren't laughing though.

He laughed at this and made his way to his own table. Rowan twisted around and finally rolled her eyes. Remus and James grinned at her.

"What?" she asked resignedly.

"He liiiikkkeeesss you," James said in a sing song voice.

"That's his problem mate. Not mine." She answered nonchalantly. Sirius felt his smugness grow in him.

"What does he mean by awesomeness on Friday night?" Peter inquired.

"What do you mean by that? You haven't heard?" a voice asked incredulously. Caradoc passed by them on his way to join Marlene. He stopped by the group.

"Hear what mate?" Sirius asked intrigued.

"Mate, she beat your brother big time at duelling club on Friday night. She destroyed him." Caradoc grinned widely.

"I didn't destroy him," Rowan protested half-heartedly.

"You duelled against Regulus?" Sirius demanded choking on his tea.

She didn't say anything. "Why on earth would you do that? How could you be so stupid—" Sirius said angrily.

"I didn't pick him." Rowan cut in sharply. She looked at him with annoyance. "Flitwick reassigned me do you honestly think I'd pick a Slytherin to spend my Friday nights with?"

"You shouldn't be around him!" Sirius said heatedly.

"Tough luck mate, you can't go back in time!"

"Next time spend your Friday nights in better company," Sirius muttered.

Unfortunately for him, Rowan heard this and she slammed her fork down. Beside her Peter jumped slightly at this.

She turned to Sirius on her other side and he immediately regretted what he said. There was a quiet anger that seemed to emanate from her face. "You know Sirius, just because you or anyone else in our group isn't part of the Duelling Club, doesn't mean I can't enjoy myself.

Furthermore, I'm sorry you have these family issues, really I am, but guess what? That's your problem! So don't go and bite my head off about duelling against Regulus and you know what else? I know he may be into the Dark Arts and who knows, he's prolli a Death Eater, like the majority of them, but at the end of the day, he's still a person."

Sirius opened his mouth but she silenced him with a wave of hand. "No. You don't get to talk. Because most of the time, you think the whole damn world revolves around you! But guess what Sirius, IT DOESN'T. And at the end of the day, Regulus is a person, just like you and I are people too. It's not my problem if he's chosen a different way of thinking nor is it yours. So deal with it. And for the record, don't you dare tell me who and who I cannot be friends with, duel with, or even talk with." She ended in a low voice.

Sirius' eyes darkened with anger but before he could say anything she swung her book bag on her shoulder and stormed off.

James and Lily looked at him. He scowled. "Congratulations, you've made yourself look like a royal prat." Peter said.

He sighed. Damnit.

* * *

Rowan was so ticked off at Sirius that she let Benjy slide into his seat in Arithmancy and Sirius was stuck sitting behind her instead. From this vantage he could see her many piercings glinting in the sunlight streaming in from the windows. Idly, he tried to count them.

Apparently she had eight piercings in one ear, and seven in the other. But he wasn't sure since he wasn't close enough. He didn't listen a word of what Professor Villa was saying. When the bell rung she walked by him without a word. Sirius groaned and ran a hand over his face.

Rowan was notoriously temperamental and she had a volatile streak that ran through her. Sirius was prone to brooding, making reckless decisions and saying rash things. Coupled as friends, they often got into arguments that quickly turned into minor violent skirmishes thanks to magic.

But it was the worst when she didn't say anything at all.

When she was quietly angry or coolly furious with you, you almost wished she'd unleash her wrath on you with her wand. When she didn't say anything to you or ignored you, it cut through you like glass. James, on occasion had almost felt a little afraid of her because of her coolness towards him when they got into big fights over things.

Sirius continued to brood over his mate. He involuntarily shivered as his thoughts continued to stream through his head. She was so passionately dispassionate about you when she got angry. It's as if your existence didn't matter to her, you didn't exist to her.

""llo Sirius!" a voice called out.

He was broken out of his thoughts to see a pretty brunette smiling at him. He warily met her eyes. "Hello," he replied.

"Something a miss?" she inquired. He waved a hand. "It's Monday. Shitty day of the week."

"Don't I know it. Listen, I was wondering if you had a date for the dance yet? I mean I realise this a long shot but…

He blinked. "I'm sorry I don't mean to sound like a git, but do I even know you? If I do, but I'm very sorry I can't remember your name."

The girl laughed. "No, I'm a Sixth Year, Hufflepuff. My name is Melanie." She stuck out a hand.

Sirius shook her hand briefly. "Nice to meet you, Melanie. And to answer your question, no, I don't have date to the Halloween Ball."

"Oh! Well…I know this may seem forward, but perhaps you'd like go as my date?" she asked hopefully.

Sirius mentally sighed to himself. He had seriously been considering going stag to the dance. But this girl apparently wasn't apart of the Fan Club, nor did she laugh her head off at the mere site of him, and she had asked him nicely. Might as well reciprocate the niceness in hopes of getting good karma points seeing as he had already made himself look like a git and he needed all the good karma he could get.

"Sure. Shall I meet you at the Great Hall Entrance at eight?" he asked.

"That would be lovely. Thanks Sirius! Have a good day." Melanie chirped before making her way past him.

And she didn't linger. A plus.

* * *

Lily slid into a seat at the table Rowan was currently occupying in the Common Room. She was nicely set up with her books, parchment and ink and was scribbling away at some Transfiguration assignment.

"Hey," Lily tentatively said. Rowan looked up and sighed.

"Hey,"

"Still ticked off?"

"Yeah."

"Okay then." Lily busied herself with her own books and ink.

For the next two hours the girls worked in silence. Lily didn't bother saying anything to her friend because she knew Rowan would talk when she felt better. Rowan had a nasty habit of saying cruel things to people in the wake of her anger that was targeted towards someone else. If some poor person tried to approach her, Rowan would end up biting their head off and the spitting it back out. So to prevent her from hurting anyone else or making herself feel morel like an idiot, she would often just stop talking and just keep to herself. It suited everyone.

Lily felt her stomach rumble and glanced at her watch. It was nearly dinnertime.

Rowan must have eerily sensed this because she cleared her things and stood up and stretched. Then she crossed over to where Lily was sitting and wrapped her arms around her from behind. She pressed a kiss to her cheek.

"Thanks," she said quietly.

"For what?" Lily asked.

"For knowing how to handle me," Rowan replied before letting go. Lily smiled faintly.

"Shall we go to dinner then?"

"Yes please, I can't focus any more. Need sustenance now."

Lily laughed and followed her mate out of the Portrait Hole.

Dinner was a subdued affair, Rowan still wasn't speaking to Sirius and James was uncharacteristically quiet because he wasn't sure what to say in fear of setting them both of. So instead he found himself stuck listening to Lily and Remus argue about Jack Kerouac, and his friend, Allen Ginsberg.

"Howl was one ridiculous long poem!" Remus huffed waving his fork around.

"It's beautiful! Poetry has never seen anything like it!" Lily argued.

"Exactly, because it's bloody rubbish. It's not poetry and it's certainly not literature." Remus replied shortly stabbing at a potato.

"Remus, you're too narrow minded. What do you deem is LITERATURE?" Lily demanded.

"Tolstoy! Dumas, Dostoyevsky, Nabokov, Fitzgerald, Hemingway! That is literature." Remus slapped a hand on the table.

"They're all **MEN**!" Lily exclaimed.

"Jane Austen is literature! The Bronte sisters are literature too, but I don't like them. _Jane Eyre_ was a snooze fest mate." Remus waved a hand.

"You liked Hemingway?" Rowan's voice asked surprisingly gentle.

Remus' eyes widened at her. So it speaks. Her eyes looked at him with interest. "Yeah. I read _A Moveable Feast_, I really liked it." He said.

A small smile appeared on the corner of her face. "You should read _A Farewell To Arms_, it's even better. Hemingway only has lovely things to say about women,"

"I'll have to give it a go."

"You should also reconsider Allen Ginsberg. His poem Kaddish is very moving, he wrote it for his mother. Give it try Remy." Rowan said.

"I will," Remus grudging said. Only she could coax him to try reading something he would never consider. One time she even got him to read a bit of Keats, sure he fired the book at the wall after he finished one of the poems, but the she got him to read a little bit of him.

"Good. That's the spirit Remy, open up your mind a wee little bit at a time," she smiled fully at him.

James felt a little weight be lifted off him. Whenever anyone in the group was in a tiff with each other it was always felt among the six of them. At least some of the tension had been diffused.

"I don't understand why you love Hemingway so much. He's such a snooze fest, have you read _The_ _Old Man and the Sea_?" Lily grumbled.

"Yes I have and I don't think I've come across anyone who can write a monologue about the ocean like he does. You know who's a snooze fest? Herman Hesse!" Rowan pointed her fork at Lily.

"Oh ya. Booooorrring. _Moby Dick_…ugh I couldn't get past the first chapter." Lily shook her head.

"You guys read too much," Peter said decidedly.

"You don't read enough!" Lily elbowed him good-naturedly.

"I like to read biographies," James remarked mildly.

"Of Quidditch players," Rowan muttered.

"AND famous people! Like…that muggle lady…Margaret Thatcher." James snapped his fingers.

"_You_ read a biography of Margaret Thatcher?" Remus choked on his water.

"Yes, yes I did." James replied smugly.

"Why?"

He looked sheepish for a moment. "Sirius bet me I couldn't get it through it."

Lily burst out laughing. "How much did you win?"

"Ten galleons!"

"The things you do for money Prongs…honestly," Remus shook his head.

"Money is valuable!"

"Yeah, so is time," Peter snorted.

"Speaking of which, time is the essence and we've got a boatload of work to get through so we got to take off now." Lily announced pushing her plate from her. "Ro and are off to the Library, James, I'll be back round 9ish to do the rounds with you," she added referring to their Head Girl and Head Boy duties.

"Sounds good Lily, happy studying," he smiled at her.

Lily returned his smile with one of her own and Rowan fought the urge to roll her eyes again, she tugged Lily by the elbow and the pair of them left the table already in discussion on how they were going to tackle their homework.

"Happy studying?" was the first thing out of Sirius' mouth. He hadn't talked during the entire meal thanks to Rowan's presence. He hated being in a tiff with her.

"What?" James shrugged.

"And you call me a dork," Remus muttered throwing a bread roll at his mate.

* * *

Rowan didn't talk to Sirius on the following day either. Nor on Wednesday. Now Sirius was tearing his silky locks out in frustration.

He glared at Benjy's backside as he once again sat behind Rowan in Arithmancy instead in his usual seat. Stupid git.

What was he supposed to do? He couldn't very well just come up to her and say sorry. That wouldn't work. She'd probably send him toppling over a couch or something. Or turn his hair into antlers. He involuntarily shivered at that thought.

Okay. So his hair was a soft spot to him. But that wasn't the point.

The point was how to apologize for being a world class prat.

Thursday passed by in a haze of homework. He barged into the dorm before dinnertime and found Remus sprawled on his bed engrossed in what looked like _A Farewell To Arms_.

"Get a new hobby Mooney," Sirius chucked his tie at his mate.

"Shaddup I'm almost done!" Remus waved a hand absently. He turned another page.

Sirius shook his head and rooted around his wardrobe for a t-shirt. The only plus side of graduating from Hogwarts this year was that he no longer would need to wear a damn uniform. Ties were evil things, he had decided a long time ago. And tucking shirts into pants? Ridiculous.

He flopped on his own bed and closed his eyes. There was nothing but silence for a good ten minutes or so and he had dozed off accidentally when Remus exclaimed, "THAT'S IT?"

"What?" Sirius asked a little confused.

"He just walks away In the rain?" Remus cried throwing the bed across the room. Usually gentle by nature, Remus would often get riled up by books and would often send them flying across spaces in his excitement or anger at it.

"Oi!" Sirius exclaimed as the book crashed into his bureau and knocked off a couple of things. He stretched his arm to the floor and retrieved it.

"So…was it rubbish?" he asked turning the book over in his hands.

"No, it was beautiful and honest and true. I just hate how it ended." He sighed. "Hemingway is a genius. He literally never writes happy endings."

"That's because happy endings are for stories that are unrealistic and for fairy tales. And fairy tales are a bunch of bullshit," Sirius idly said flipping some pages.

"Padfoot did you forget to take your happy pills again? I told you, take one every morning!" Remus retorted.

"Up yours my furry-tailed friend,"

"Hey! I don't have a tail when I transform. YOU have a tail,"

"Oh. Yeah. Potato po-taa-toe," Sirius waved a hand.

"Honestly Sirius,"

"Oi can I read this?"

Remus arched a brow. "You want to read Hemingway?"

"Yeah…"

"Sure, knock yourself out." Remus shrugged and flopped back on his bed.

Sirius eased himself against the pillows and began reading. No harm in trying to open your mind a little bit more.

* * *

_A/N: Well! Now you know a bit about my literary tastes and some opinions on different works. :) And some of you may think that Rowan may have overreacted about the whole Regulus thing, but as stated in the chapter, her character is such that she flares up at things easily, she's quite temperamental. On another note, does anyone have any good ideas of what a good prank would be that the Marauder's could pull? I'm trying to work that in during the Halloween Ball which is coming up soon. If you do, let me know! **Cheers and please review! xoxoxo**_


	13. The One Where Sirius Affirms He's a Prat

_A/N: As always, thank you so much for your support, alerts and favs! I'd really appreciate if you could review afterwards. :) Hope everyone is enjoying their weekend!_

* * *

He ended reading the book all night Thursday, forgoing homework. He read it until four in the morning and by that time he had finished it and given himself a headache for reading so intensely in effort to get to the end. Exhausted he shut his eyes in effort to catch a few hours of sleep before classes.

Consequentially he had to skip showering and breakfast in effort to hastily scribble some of his Potions homework out which he had first block. In retrospect that was a waste of time because he received a D on it any way. Lunch and his free periods were dedicated to writing as fast as he could, and legibly his DADA essay and practising some Transfiguration spells before the lesson. He barely saw his mates or Rowan until the end of the day. After nodding tiredly to his roommates in the Common Room he went straight back to bed and slept until dinner time.

Rowan still wasn't talking to him but everyone else was light, cheerful. It was Friday after all and that meant the weekend. He stole a glance at her and she had her nose buried in her Charms book.

"'Ey Rowan! Duelling Club tonight, be my partner?" Benjy said passing by her. She lifted her head and raised a brow. "Maybe. If you can convince me." She said in that maddening unflappable tone of hers.

He laughed and shook his head. Rowan's eyes darkened at his retreating back and she directed her attention to James. He bit back a grin.

"He's annoying me," she said irritated.

"So break up with him," he suggested.

"Can't. We're not going out. There's nothing to break up." She grumbled closing her book shut.

"People Problems, deal with it," Peter teased.

Rowan yawned as she perused her Alchemy textbook. She had about an hour before the Duelling club meeting and was curled up in her favourite armchair by the fireplace. She stared moodily into it without really seeing it, her mind a million kilometres away.

"She looked fresh and young and very beautiful. I thought I had never seen anyone so beautiful," a quiet voice said jerking her out of her head.

She turned around and saw Sirius standing before her with her copy of _Farewell To Arms_. "War is not won by victory," she replied equally quiet.

Then there it was silence between the two. Rowan studied his face, he had the look that best became him, that brooding, sharp look that made his grey eyes seem endless. Her lips wanted to curve at this thought. He was so goddamn beautiful, she idly thought.

"Rowan I'm sorry for being a git." Sirius said after a moment.

She didn't say anything for a moment. "I'm sorry for being a bitch and chewing you out," she finally replied. She moved her Alchemy textbook from the armrest as a silent peace offering to him. He gratefully eased himself on to it and looked at her fondly.

"Life's never dull with you as a mate," he said.

"Well I have to have _some_ purpose in this existence," she replied dryly.

Sirius chuckled at this. "Can I have my regular seat back now in Arithmancy?"

Rowan pursed her lips. "Only if you admit that you are an irrational git that needs to have his head deflated,"

"Hey!" Then Sirius piped down again. He sighed. "Fiiiinnnne. I, Sirius Black, am an irrational git that desperately needs to have his head deflated. And furthermore, I apologize sincerely for any act of douchery that I may impart in the future. I am also seeking your help in deflating my big head." He finished with a grand sweep of his hand.

Rowan tilted her head back and laughed. "Okay. You can have your seat back now. Good thing too cos Benjy is irritating me more than Neufield. And that's saying something. Why'd I have to say 'yes' to him again?"

"'Cos you wanted to be nice," Sirius reminded her.

"Oh. Yeah." She looked glum. "Niceness is a pain the ass sometimes."

"SOMETIMES? Try all the time!"

She laughed again and shoved him off the armrest. He landed on his butt with a small cry of pain. "Hey!"

"Sirius Black you're A class a moron you know that." She smiled down at him.

"And you're entropic chaos." He replied.

"You're not going to get it any better than me," she said hanging her head over the armrest and letting her hands dangle over the side. Sirius absently reached up and grabbed one and swung it idly. He ran his thumb over the ring she wore on her middle fingers. He had seen it on her hand so often that had visually memorized every groove and curve of the design of the ring. She had an identical ring on the other hand on her other middle finger.

"Shoot I have to go," her voice said from above.

"Duelling club?"

"Yes Sir, I'm gonna need my hand back," she said tugging at his.

"Fiiiinnnneeee, have fun," he heaved a great big sigh and let go.

Rowan gathered her dark locks and twisted them into a neat bun. "Will you still be here…" she questioned in regards to her stuff.

"Yeah yeah yeah, don't worry your pretty little head off, I'll guard your stuff like a hawk."

"Knowledge is precious Sirius," she called out to him before she climbed out of the Portrait Hole.

"Get out of here!"

* * *

The students chattered about excitedly as they milled around the Great Hall. Flitwick clapped his hands and said in his squeaky voice, "Partner up please!"

Rowan had tried to avoid Benjy and Cardoc and found herself standing a little bit away from the crowd. She began to feel a little desperate and looked around for some one to partner up with her.

Regulus looked around at the students pairing off. Snape hadn't come tonight, he was too busy with some Potions Homework and had locked himself in the library. Snape and him had been the few Slytherins who had signed up for the Duelling Club, further signalling them out as odd ducks in the Slytherin House.

Well seeing as Regulus was a Black and his cousins Narcissa and Bellatrix were both in the same House, people didn't seem to mind so much. But Snape? Well that boy was loner among loners. Even among his own house he was regarded as a little weird.

But he didn't mind. He liked Snape, despite his greasy hair and perpetually sullen look. Snape was clever, quiet and unassuming. He didn't care about what the rest of the school thought of him because he didn't care about them. His sole goal was to survive and get out and make it on his own.

Regulus liked this. He even kind of admired it. Deep down he almost wished he had that kind of hard determination in him. But family was too important too him and so that was that. That, honour and loyalty. Regulus sometime felt embarrassed at how old fashioned he was. Thank god nobody really knew about it.

But now he was close to being paraded in front of everyone as the teacher asked around for a partner. He would die of utter embarrassment.

As the couple began spreading about he noticed Rowan looking around and trying to keep her distance from that Ravenclaw fellow, Benjy Fenwick. She twisted around and caught his eye.

For a moment he just stared back at her then his feet had a mind of his own as he automatically began to move towards her. He reached her just as Benjy touched her elbow seeking her out.

"Sorry mate, looks like I've already gotten a partner," she smiled slightly at Benjy who looked annoyed.

He swore under his breath and Caradoc shrugged. Benjy moved off to the side with him and left the pair alone.

Suddenly Regulus felt horribly awkward. Was he supposed to talk to her? What should he say? She was a _Gryffindor_.

Rowan turned fully and faced him. There was the faintest hint of a smile on her face. Her eyes glinted at him as Flitwick told them to bow to their partners.

"Regulus," she said in quietly as they came out of their bows and started to take ten paces backwards. "Don't hold back,"

A muscle in his jaw twitched.

Regulus lifted his wand. "_Say your prayers,"_ he thought to himself as he shot a hex at her.

She ducked and fired a well-aimed jink back at him. He dove off to the side and hit the ground.

It was going to be an entertaining night, he thought to himself before waving his wand again.

"IMPEDIMENTA!"

"Protego!"

"Confundo!"

"Defudio!" a large gouge appeared just where Regulus stood moment before.

They continued to battle with each other. Rowan danced out of the way as Regulus fired another spell at her.

She felt invigorated. She felt as if a different kind of energy was coursing through her veins. He didn't treat her like a fragile little thing.

"DENSAUGUO!" he bellowed brandishing his wand.

She laughed and twirled out the spell's way. "IS THAT ALL YOU'VE GOT?" she yelled whirling her wand above her head and sending a jet of light his way.

Regulus snarled and opened his mouth but she disarmed him. He gaped as he saw his wand soar across the air and land in her outstretched arm.

She hadn't said anything, nor she had waved her wand. She had disarmed him, again, without her wand.

Flitwick blew his whistle and everyone promptly stopped with their wand work. Regulus lifted the hem of his shirt and wiped his face exposing his lower stomach. Rowan glanced critically at it. Then she felt increasingly embarrassed because he was younger than her. And he was Sirius brother. Who was a Slytherin.

That being said, it appeared that Sirius and Regulus shared more than their haughty good looks. They also shared the same muscle build as well, although Regulus was smaller, slighter. She saw an interesting ripple of muscle as he bent back up.

She impassively looked away from him and thought no more of it.

"Well that was an excellent practice everyone! Alas we have gone over our hour and now we must go. Same time next week everyone!" Flitwick announced clapping his hands.

Rowan wiped her brow with her arm and let out a breath. She walked closer to Regulus and held out his wand to him.

"Nicely done," she said.

He didn't say anything for a moment as he took his wand back. He was too busy studying her. "You fight well." He finally told her.

"Thanks. Have a good night," Rowan gave him a curt nod before turning on her heel and leaving.

Regulus continued to observe her as she walked away from him. He didn't know why he was still watching her. It wasn't as if he knew her, or even liked her. He didn't. But there was something about her that made him want to watch her.

She would be something that would continue to haunt him for the rest of his short-lived life, he'd later find out.

* * *

Saturday poked its head out on Halloween, which was meant that the Halloween/Homecoming Ball was to take place tonight. This meant Rowan would have to face Benjy tonight, as her date.

Rowan sighed as she picked at her lunch. "Happy Halloween!" Marlene cheerfully said passing by her, Caradoc behind her. Rowan mumbled something in response. Remus shook his head, smiling slightly.

"Happy Halloween Marlene, Caradoc," Lily replied happily.

"I hate Halloween," Rowan grumbled. Sirius chuckled beside her.

"Cheer up Ro, it's just one dance and if you really need some rescuing, I'll be there waiting to save the day!" He said brightly.

"I'm gonna hold you to that," she replied.

"He's a nice guy and he's smart," Lily chided.

"So you go out with him!"

"Oi she's spoken for!" James said indignantly slinging an arm over her shoulders.

"Hey, you just asked me to one dance, I hardly think that counts as being spoken for," Lily exclaimed.

"Okay fine then. Lily would you like to be my girlfriend?" James said without thinking. Peter widened his eyes and Rowan sputtered on her pumpkin juice.

"Maybe," Lily casually replied.

Remus comically let out a gasp and Rowan elbowed Sirius who fell off his seat. Rowan yanked him by the arm and he slammed his hands on the table. "Did I just enter a post apocalyptic universe?" he demanded.

"I said maybe, calm down," Lily tartly said.

"How long as you gonna keep me in agitation over the question Evans?" James inquired. Lily shrugged and waved her spoon carelessly. "You'll know when you know. Yes." She added rushing over words.

James blinked. Rowan stared astonished at her best mate.

"Did I hear you right Lily? Did you just say 'Yes'?" Peter asked for everyone.

"…I think I did, yeah, I did!" Lily exclaimed. She pointed a finger at James' chest. "What are you going to do about it?"

"This," and with that James promptly swooped in and kissed her right there in front of everyone, smack on the mouth.

This time Rowan fell off her seat and Sirius reached over to help her back up only to be pulled to the ground beside her.

"OW! Hey!" Sirius protested as he rubbed his backside. "What on earth are doing down here?"

"Not facing the smooch fest that is up there!" she replied.

"Oh grow up. It's a kiss, not a full out snogging fest. You and Gideon did plenty of that," Sirius rolled his eyes.

"Yeah…I didn't like snogging in public that much though that was all Gideon. I'm more private,"

"Really, care to prove that love?" Sirius grinned wolfishly at her.

Rowan just looked at him. "Oh bugger I know. Idiotic behaviour right there." Sirius face palmed himself.

"Consider yourself lucky that I didn't turn my wand on you,"

"Duly noted. And thank you."

* * *

_A/N: Well at least one thing is settled! Next chapter will be longer since this one was a little shorter! **I'd love if you please reviewed :) xoxox**o_


	14. Homecoming

_A/N: **As always, thank you so much for your support, alerts and favs!** I'd really appreciate if you could review afterwards. :) Hope everyone is doing well. And remember if you have any questions don't hesitate to ask.  
_

* * *

"Good lord, what is up with your music?" Marlene yelled over the ruckus.

"What?" Rowan shouted back concentrating on plucking her eyebrows.

"WHAT IS UP WITH YOUR MUSIC?"

"YOU DON'T LIKE IT?"

"IT SOUNDS LIKE A DEATHDAY PARTY!"

"HAVE YOU EVEN BEEN TO ONE?"

"ONCE. IT WAS TERRIBLE."

"It's not death day party music. It's Aerosmith." Lily said in a satisfied voice as she turned the gramophone down. She and Rowan adored Aerosmith.

"It sounds like an awful lot of noise if ya ask me," Marlene grinned as she rooted around her cupboard for her dress.

It was half past six and the girls were getting ready for the dance. The Halloween/Homecoming Dance was a semi-formal, unlike the Winter Formal which required very fancy dresses. At most the boys had to wear a tie with a nice shirt and dress pants.

"Aw it's our last Homecoming Dance," Marlene sniffed sentimentally as she slipped on her dress.

"Oh please Marlz, don't get all sentimental now, we just applied our make-up!" Lily exclaimed also trying to control herself. Rowan said nothing but rolled her eyes again. "We girls are too emotional."

"You're not emotional enough!"

"I am! Over certain things…that's all." Rowan ran her brush through her hair. "Save the tears for later in the year, we're gonna need them when we're bawling our eyes out over these blasted NEWTs."

"Ugh PLEASE don't mention anything academic or future related tonight," Lily groaned.

"Shaddup. At least you know what you want to do with your life," Rowan replied.

"And I take that you don't?" Marlene teased as she put on a pair of earrings.

"Mate I'm as clueless about my future as a baby in a topless bar," Rowan waved a hand dismissively.

"Rowan, is my dress too low? Lily asked anxiously twisting around and effectively changing the subject.

She turned around and smiled gently at her nervous friend. "No it's not, sweetie you look perfect. James is lucky."

"I hope nothing ridiculous happens." Lily grumbled.

Rowan smiled once more before slipping into her dress. "The ridiculous has already happened. You and James kissed at lunch."

"Oh yeah. Well I guess it can't get any more ridiculous than that,"

* * *

Downstairs, the boys were grumbling at having to be shunted into dress pants and shirts. And ties. Ties were evil evil things. Especially when you couldn't tie one properly. This applied to Sirius only and he had refused to let Remus help him because that would just be a little weird for him.

"I hate shiny, pointy dress shoes!" Sirius growled.

''But don't you look so very refined tonight?" Remus mocked.

"Shaddup." Sirius scowled.

"Nah, I'm jesting. Here's your tie mate."

"Those things deserve to die."

"So burn it."

"'Can't, it's my Uncle Alphard's." Sirius replied gloomily as he twisted it around his neck.

"Alphard?" Remus started snickering.

"I told you, my family is screwed up."

While the boys were talking about family and the evils of ties, the girls were coming down the stairs carefully, not wanting to trip or fall flat on their face. Marlene came down first wearing a halter-top style dress that was a stunning shade of blue against her peach skin. She gave Remus a bright smile before passing him to join Caradoc. Remus' chocolate eyes followed her wistfully to where she was prettily situated with her boyfriend and his mates.

James's eyes fell out of his head when he saw Lily in her off the shoulder shimmering green dress that ended just above her knees. It matched her eyes perfectly. He held out a white lily and said shyly "You look stunning Lily."

Blushing furiously she smiled at him and gestured towards the couch and took a seat.

Sirius was still grumbling to himself when Remus elbowed him. "What?" He asked furiously, and then saw what Remus was pointing.

"You could have at least waited a bit before coming down, instead of leaving me to prance down the stairs to make some grand entrance!" Rowan called out loudly unaware that the group of her friends were looking at Sirius who was looking at her with his mouth open.

She looked lovely, was his first thought. Rowan had on a one shoulder form fitting black dress that left her dusky skin gleaming in contrast. Her hair was pulled back in its usual bun but she had woven some white blossoms into it which added a touch of sweetness, softening her sharp features and angles.

"You clean up really good Rowan," Sirius said after a moment giving her thumbs up even though he wanted to hold her hand for some odd reason.

She grinned, "Thanks, you look good in white and black. However your tie is in a sad state. I can't believe you still don't know how to tie one!"

"Yeah well. They suck. The end."

"How very mature. Come here." She ordered. Obliging he met her and her quick and nimble fingers fixed his tie within minutes, she smoothed it down his chest and nodded. "Good to go Black."

"Thanks.

"Well, let's get this over with," Rowan grumbled as she made her way to the Portrait Hole.

Peter laughed. "Honestly, you'd think you were going to detention by the look on your face. It's only a date!"

"I'd rather be in detention," she griped trying to gracefully climb out of the Portrait Hole in her dress. Remus lent her a hand, ever the gentleman, and helped her out.

"Thanks Remus," she grinned.

"Any time, my fair lady," He said with a flourish. Sirius poked him with his wand. "Oi! Stop making us look bad,"

"Too late Sirius, Remus had set the bar years ago for you lot," Rowan teased as she began walking down the hall.

James had shyly offered his arm to Lily who gratefully took it in her own and they followed their mates arm in arm, not speaking much but sliding each other nervous little looks. Lily found his eyes quite enchanting. She wondered at what point, exactly, her emotions decided to stand down their cavalry and give into something that she had been futilely resisting for the better part of nearly three years. Deep down, (though she never would confide this into anyone), Lily knew that there had been a very, _very_ small part of her that, while she found James' antics frustrating, stupid and downright dumb when they were younger, she had secretly enjoyed that he was making himself looking stupid for _her_.

The group finally reached the doors to the Great Hall and Sirius spotted Melanie waiting for him. She smiled brightly at him and he returned her smile.

"That your date Padfoot?" James asked interestedly peering over.

"Yes indeedy. Melanie…something something. She asked me. Hufflepuff. Not part of the fan club." Sirius rambled off.

Rowan gave him a keen look but said nothing. "Have a good time yeah?" she said lightly before going over to where Benjy was.

He didn't say anything but nodded in her direction. He walked up to Melanie and waved his wand, conjuring up a delicate flower. "Evening," he said sincerely offering it to her.

"Hi!" Melanie replied tucking the flower behind her ear. Sirius proffered his arm to hers and she merrily took it saying, "Don't worry, I'm not going to try and jump you at the end of the dance,"

"Thank you. I appreciate that!"

* * *

Homecoming was as full blown at as ever, Remus noted. Sirius was dancing with hoards of girls as well as his date, who seemed to be a little irritated by the attention he was getting and Rowan had her hands full trying to keep Benjy's hands from wandering too much. A good part of the dance was dedicated to teaching Peter _how_ to waltz, like every year, and he was sitting and watching Marlene and Caradoc dance the night away. Rowan had danced with him once and Lily had dragged him out to the dance floor for a couple as well.

A slow song had come on and Sirius excused himself from his fan club and his date to ask Rowan for a dance, forcing a rather stony Benjy to take a seat next to Remus.

"You look like you're having _loads_ of fun out there," Sirius remarked slipping his arms around her.

"Oh yeah, _tons_." She replied sarcastically leaning her head against his chest.

"So dance some more with Remus,"

"I would but he doesn't want to. He's a bit lovelorn right now. Bugger, Benjy's hands wander way too much ugh."

Sirius rested his chin on her head as they swayed about among the other dancing couples. Throughout the evening Sirius had glanced more than once at his mate, eying her in sheer male appreciation. He liked how her scars seemed to shine even more brightly than the rest of her skin.

"I think Benjy's about to kill me," Sirius noted receiving a glare from him.

"Oh?" Rowan asked lifting her head to peer around at Benjy.

"Yea, he's not too fond of me."

"Only 'cos you're Sirius Black, the object of desire of nearly everyone,'

"Nearly everyone? Who doth not desire me?' He protested.

"Me," Rowan stuck her tongue out.

"Congratulations. I feel like such a winner," Sirius replied drolly.

Rowan laughed and gently thumped her forehead against his chest. "Good for you Sirius. Really, would you like a prize?"

"Yeah!"

"Okay….lemme think about this one…."

"A flying motorbike?" Sirius suggested helpfully.

"Mate I'm piss poor. How'd you expect me to get you a flying motorbike?"

"Steal one!" He grinned widely.

"Sirius!" She collapsed in a fit of laughs against him and Sirius whirled around the dance floor with his arms around her good-naturedly. Several girls shot nasty looks at Rowan's back but luckily she couldn't see those.

"What'd you do now Padfoot?" James grinned at the pair as he and Lily swayed to the music.

"I told her to go and steal a flying motorcycle for me," Sirius replied in a matter of fact tone.

"Oooooo if she has time, can she steal me a Nimbus 1200? It's the newest broom out on the market!" James said excitedly.

Lily rolled her eyes. Boys.

"I'll see what I can do mate," Rowan's muffled voice came as she finally lifted her head from Sirius' chest. Sirius spun her out and then back in again.

"Can I get on this one too Rowan? Can you see if you can steal enough money to buy a ticket for California?" Lily inquired.

James looked at her quizzically. "Rowan and I are going to America post graduation," she said breezily.

"Oi! Explain this one Forlani!" Sirius dipped his mate back as the lights began to come back on and a faster song started.

"What's there to explain? America, Lily, and me! Cross country trip."

"Well actually…half cross country trip. Actually we only have enough money to get to the middle part of America.

"Yeah we need to work on the rest of the funds…like I said…I'll see what I can do since I'm already procuring a flying motorbike and broomstick." Rowan drolly remarked.

"When were you going to tell us about this?" James asked.

"…When we were going to send you a post card saying 'Greetings From America'?" Rowan sheepishly answered.

"Rowan!"

"Mind if I cut in mate, after all she is my date," Benjy's voice floated over their conversation. He looked politely at Sirius and Rowan and Sirius reluctantly let go of her.

"Hey," she smiled at him as he took her hand. "Catch you lot later!" she called back to her mates as Benjy whisked her to another part of the dance floor.

* * *

"Do you want to dance?"

Regulus spared a mild look at his date, Ashley Cardiff and put down the glass of juice he had been drinking. "Sure,"

Pleased, she artfully took his hands in hers and led them to the floor. A fast number was on and Regulus concentrated on not tripping over his feet.

Dances had never been of interest for him. He spent most of his life being dressed up and going to dinner parties where he was instructed to listen and not talk, and only speak when spoken too. He had a lifetime of ballroom dance lessons that his parents had foisted on him and his brother, along with a lifetime of attending formal balls and dinner parties that always involved some fancy dancing.

Truth be told he was fairly tired and didn't want anything but maybe some hot chocolate and to be in bed right now. His mates were busy talking and enjoying their respective dates and Regulus had been half listening to them the entire time.

Okay, that was only half the truth. He was tired, that was true. But he was also distracted.

He was distracted by the damned Gryffindor.

His eyes had widened when he first caught a look at her as she moved agilely around the dance floor. He was surprised to see that she had so _many_ scars, besides the ones on her face, she also had a thin one that was just on her shoulder blade, accentuating her the curve of the bone and another one the other side, a more prominent diagonal dash that disappeared under her dress. He was also surprised she didn't hide them.

Those scars intrigued him. He wondered absent-mindedly how she sustained them.

He felt a stab of irritation when she saw him dancing with his brother, he didn't know where the hell that feeling came from.

Regulus knew that there was no way in hell that he could ever dance with her. He couldn't even talk to her for god sake. His mates would murder him in his bed. Then Sirius would bring him back to life and then murder him again.

But for some crazy reason, he wistfully wished he lived in a different world, a world where Gryffindors and Slytherins could talk to each other, a world, where they did not want to kill each other for their mere existence.

Unfortunately for him and other odd people, this world did not exist.

Regulus was damn proud of being a Black, and a pureblood too. He deeply admired the Dark Lord because of his belief of pureblood supremacy over muggles and non pureblood magic people. He also admired the Dark Lord because he was an extremely powerful and accomplished wizard.

He had also heard, that were some recruits who were not from the Slytherin House. But he wasn't sure if that was true.

Regulus was broken out of his thoughts as he found himself dancing nearer to where Rowan and Benjy were dancing. How he and his date landed up there was a mystery to him.

A slow song came on again and his date slipped her hands around his neck and pressed herself closer to him. He eyed Rowan curiously as she seemed to be a little uncomfortable having her date so close to her.

She resignedly let herself lean against Benjy and from her point she could see him. Regulus looked steadily at her, even in the dark, his eyes, so familiar in shape and colour, were luminous.

She returned his frank stare with her own. They continued in their staring contest until Benjy turned her around, breaking the contact between them.

Regulus immediately felt a loss of something, he wasn't sure what but he felt a little uncomfortable at the intensity that had seemed to crackle in the air moments before. He knew for sure he didn't like her, he didn't feel any sexual pull towards her whatsoever, which frankly, surprised him more than anything else, because objectively speaking, he did find her attractive.

But he wasn't interested in snogging her. He was more interested in _talking_ to her. She just had this ambiguous air about her that drove him bananas. The fact that she didn't need a wand to perform magic just made her even more bizarre.

What an odd girl indeed.

* * *

"Tell me this is the last dance I ever have to attend!" Rowan groaned as she collapsed next to Peter.

"Bored?" he teased.

"I'm getting a tension headache from keeping Benjy's hands from wandering all over the place!"

"Sorry to hear that. But hey, in a few minutes I think you'll find yourself a remedy for your headache," Peter smiled as if he had some secret up his sleeve.

"Mate unless it's raining chocolate, dark chocolate that is, then I'm gonna have to take some pills to get rid of this bad boy."

"Just be optimistic for once would ya?" Peter tousled her hair affectionately and she giggled swatting his arm from her head.

"Look sharp Mooney," James gave Remus a knowing look as he came up to the group.

"Where's Sirius?" He asked.

"Arguing with his date,"

"What?"

"Apparently she's a bit shirty with him for dancing with so many other girls, she kind of thought he'd only be dancing with _her_,"

"Oooo such a rookie mistake," Peter shook his head.

'And she seemed so normal too," James sighed.

"Poor Sirius," Remus added.

"Yeah poor Sirius indeed," Sirius grumpily said as he stomped up to them. He had a bright red hand print on his cheek.

"Smacked ya?" James asked sympathetically.

"Like every other nutcase out there," Sirius muttered. He sat down on a chair next to Rowan who gave him a wan smile.

"Sorry mate. She looked nice."

"Yeah well all's well that end's well…nice girls are psychos too. She should know that I don't ask for all this bloody attention." Sirius groused. He leaned over and laid his head on Rowan's lap, enjoying the coolness of her dress against his still smarting cheek.

"Well well, isn't this a pretty picture?" Lily teased as she joined them. James grinned at her and she slipped her hands in his and he pressed a kiss to her temple.

"Don't get too used to it. I'm only being nice cos he got a nasty smack print on his face," Rowan warned playing with his hair absently.

"It's time!" Remus said suddenly. Sirius' head sprung up and he took out his wand.

"Time for what? Oh wait, I don't want to know," Lily hastily changed her mind.

At that moment, a large ruckus was started as a group of Slytherins, known as the death eaters in training, were yelling in outrage. Apparently, the suits of armour had clanked on in and grabbed them each, dancing with them in a very painful manner. The whole hall started roaring with laughter.

"GOD! " A very pissed off Narcissa Black screamed as one suit tripped her.

"RUDDY FILTHY METAL SCUMS!" Mulciber howled as he was sent flying from when his dancing armour spun him.

"Oh, my god. You?" Rowan asked Sirius between laughing.

"Indeed. Courtesy of the four Mighty Marauders." He replied grinning.

"This is just brilliant!" She said with admiration.

"Oh, but we haven't finished."

Remus excused himself and sneaked out to the other side of the Great Hall. He muttered something and pointed his wand at a group of jack-o-lanterns they had tinkered with. They all flew up and zoomed into the hall.

"LOOK!" A sixth year Ravenclaw yelled pointing up at them. They began to swirl around the furious Slytherins.

"HEY, IT'S A NARCISSA PUMPKIN!"

"And a Snape one!"

The students began to call out names of the hated Slytherins as they saw their faces inscribed on the pumpkin. McGonagall looked furious, Dumbledore looked highly amused.

Then, the pumpkins all flew towards their marked Slytherin and promptly crashed on their heads, spraying pumpkin matter everywhere. Girls began to shriek and ran towards where the dinner tables were; Marlene began laughing.

"James!" Lily said open-mouthed staring at the scene.

"Yes m'dear?" He asked swinging an arm around her waist.

"You're,"

"Despicable?"

"Thanks love," He said planting a kiss on her lips.

"It gets better. The trick part happened," Peter explained to Marlene was who was in hysterics.

"And now the treat part will," James finished flicking his wand at the numerous glowing orbs that were suspended in the air.

They ruptured and sweets rained down upon the dance floor and dinner tables. Students began to whoop, gathering up the candy, and Hagrid beamed from the Staffing table.

"This is just too much!" Marlene squealed.

"Well done boys!" Caradoc congratulated them clapping James on the back.

"Thanks mate!"

"This has got to be the biggest antic you've pulled at the Halloween Homecoming Ball." Lily said her head on James shoulder.

"Are you disappointed in me?"

"No, actually, I'm rather proud of ya. It was very clever."

"Hey, Rowan! Catch!" Peter said chucking a bar of dark chocolate to her.

She caught it with an outstretched hand with a wide grin on her face. "This was bloody amazing you lot. Yay chocolate!" She tore at the wrapped and bit into it rubbing her temple.

"There's plenty more so help yourself, so you can get rid of your headaches," Peter showered her with a load of assorted chocolates.

"Thanks Peter!" she exclaimed touched by his earnestness.

"Here, Lily," James offered her a delicate sugar spun quill.

She smiled at it as she took it. Then she pressed a kiss on his lips. "This is the best Halloween Ball I've ever had," she told him.

"Me too Lily, me too," James replied bringing her closer to him.

* * *

_A/N: I hope you enjoyed this instalment! I'm not the best coming up with pranks so if you have any ideas for future ones pleaaassse let me know! **I'd love if you reviewed,** both Regulus and Sirius would appreciate it. ;)_


	15. Futures and Slytherins

_A/N: **Thank you for your support and your reviews.** :) Your reviews are definitely helping me write out longer chapters for you all to read. Now pay attention to this chapter as some foreshadowing of a character's evolution is revealed in here. ;) Don't forget to review afterwards. I also hope that some of you will be able to relate to some of the characters in this chapters, I know I can as I still have no clue what the heck I want to do with my life. ANYWAY, read, enjoy and happy Friday everyone!_

* * *

November had come along with colder temperatures, rain and sleet. Lots and lots of sleet to be exact. It'd only be a matter of time before the snow came in droves.

"So…does anyone know what exactly they want to do with their life after graduating?" Peter asked staring down at the heap of brochures and parchments that were stacked at the Gryffindor Table during breakfast one morning.

Remus and Rowan groaned and unison and chucked pieces of toast at him. "Hey!"

"Ugh please don't talk about the future," Remus said staring at the information pamphlets moodily.

"Mate I'm in the same boat as you are. I have no idea what the hell I want do with my life. Why are you throwing pieces of toast at me for?" Peter exclaimed.

"Well seeing as I've been in the Auror track since…I don't know…what fourth year? I'm pretty sure I just have to pass all my exams and then get into the ministry's program." James said shoving some brochures aside.

"I suppose I'm in for the ride too I guess. Don't know what else I'd be good for," Sirius remarked casually.

"Modelling?" Lily helpfully suggested. Rowan's shoulders shook. James looked a little miffed.

"Oi!"

"Relax, I chose you, didn't I?"

"Oh yeah."

"While I appreciate the suggestion Lily, I think I'd like to do something more worthwhile with my life," Sirius said composedly as he perused some of the information.

"What about you Peter? Any ideas?" Lily asked directing her attention to him.

"Did you just hear? I have no idea what I want to do with my life! I'm not particularly good at anything." He said a little dejectedly.

"Oh Peter, c'mon that's not true!" Rowan objected.

"Come off mates, I'm just scraping by because of you lot." Peter said moodily.

"You're pretty good at History of Magic," Lily said kindly.

"What the hell can I do with History of Magic?" Peter threw up his hands.

"Archiving, journalism…magical law enforcement…writing…editing…" Rowan ticked off her fingers.

"Archiving?" Peter asked blankly.

"You know, obtaining information, properly cataloguing them so that the information is available for stuff, researching…I don't know. Ask Binns or McGonagall." Rowan waved a hand.

"I'll think about that. But for now I'm content for slumming after school and maybe becoming a bartender. Who needs to know their life's plan at seventeen?"

"You do!"

"Shaddup."

"Hey, mind if I join you?" A voice said over their conversation. Lily twisted around and smiled at her Marlene. "Sure, c'mere," she patted the space between here and Remus. Marlene gratefully sat down. Remus inwardly experienced a cataclysm of some sort at the contact he felt when she sat down.

"We were just talking about what the heck we're gonna do with our lives and bumming out Peter. What'd about you Marlene? James asked brightly.

"I wanna be a curse breaker for Gringrotts," she promptly replied. Sirius and James stared gobsmacked at her. She grinned.

"What?"

"That's so badass!" Sirius exclaimed. Rowan chuckled.

"Girls can be rough too you know," Marlene told them with twinkling eyes. "Not all of us want the whole house with two and half kids and a car. At least, not right away."

"So when do you want them?" Peter teased.

"Oh you know. After I've tramped around the world a bit, engage in some pixie training, putt about in some tombs in Egypt for Gringotts or wherever they put their employees. I don't know. Not anytime soon at least."

This girl just continued to surprise them, Sirius thought. Her attitude and plans for life really contrasted with her girly girl image, with her hair neatly tied back and make-up applied flawlessly. He liked it. Girls could be so intriguing.

"What about you Lils?" Marlene inquired using her pet name for her roommate.

"Healer," Lily replied sipping at her juice.

"Very fitting. You'd be a good one," Marlene said thoughtfully. Lily smiled at her.

"Yeah she will be, she does an excellent job of taking care of me!" Rowan grinned pressing a kiss to Lily's cheek.

"Well someone has to!"

"So Lily wants to be a healer, Tweedle Dee and Tweedle Dum want to be aurors, Peter and Remus are, as of now, undefined." Rowan summed it all up for Marlene.

"And what about you? What are you going to do after graduating?" she asked.

"I'm going to America," Rowan airily answered.

"What!"

"Well Lily and I are going on a cross country expedition of America. We've been planning it since our Fifth Year." Rowan explained.

"How long for?" Marlene asked amazed.

"Dunno. Till our money runs out?" Rowan looked at Lily for confirmation who nodded.

"What about your healer aspirations?"

"They accept rolling applications for their apprenticeships during the fall, winter and spring. So it's okay. Besides I think it'd be nice to take a break and go have some fun."

"I'm going mainly cos I can and I have no future as of the moment….I can't wait to see New York." Rowan said getting excited.

"And California! We have to get our asses out to San Francisco! The City Lights Bookstore!" Lily added.

"Yeah well better ask for a nice little sum of money for your graduation present. Baby sitting and whatever we've been doing can only get us so far Lils," Rowan said.

"_What_ have you been doing?" Sirius asked interested.

"Oh get your mind out of the gutter you!" Rowan slapped the back of his head lightly. "Well, I've been baby sitting a lot, ever since I was a kid really. There's a load of kids in our neighbourhood where I live. Plus I've saved up the Christmas money I get from my rents since Fifth Year which helps. Lily has been baby sitting and waiting tables too."

"You wait tables?" Remus asked incredulously.

"Yeah. I'm a muggle, and in the muggle world we can work at sixteen, nothing serious you know. It's hard work, but it's worth it. Builds character you know," Lily said.

"Mate you've got a good girl," Sirius told James earnestly.

He grinned. "I know Padfoot, I know!"

* * *

Although she didn't show it to her mates, the future kind of stressed Rowan out. All around her, for the most part, everyone seemed to know what they wanted to do!

It wasn't as if she was a poor witch. Quite the opposite actually. She was a brilliant witch. She just didn't know _what_ exactly she could do with her strengths.

She had no desire to be an Auror, a Healer or work in the bank. Nor did she want to work for the Ministry. She had multiple reasons for the one.

One: It was the Ministry. The Government. The Man.

Two: They made living for Romani people and descendants of Romani quite difficult. Immigration was hard and there were a million hoops to go through to secure a valid working permit or residency permit.

Three: Working for someone who made up the rules of conduct didn't seem so appealing. Especially since she made it a career of breaking these rules.

Rowan actually did have a faint idea of what she wanted to do with her life, she just didn't know if the occupation actually existed. Existed in a way that it paid in order to have a roof over your head and food on your plate. The closest thing she could think of to express her desires was to be an engineer or inventor of magic.

Engineering was a muggle profession, they were people who tinkered on things and invented new contraptions. She found them fascinating. She had done her Fifth Year final project in Muggle Studies on Engineers.

Inventor of Magic just seemed silly and pretentious. She had felt so embarrassed when the thought first popped into her head.

But that was all she could think of! Those were the only two words she could use to express her desire to keep tinkering and developing magic.

Now if she could only get paid for some of her work…then life would be good.

Rowan continued to brood as she perused the Restricted Section of the Library, she had a free period before joining the others in Charms later that afternoon. She was researching material for a spell she had begun to work on.

After wheedling with Professor Konstantin for his signature so she could access some of the books she hoped she'd find some of the answers, she found herself hopelessly overwhelmed with the amount of books that may have some of the answers.

"Hey!" She exclaimed in a quiet voice as someone bumped into her. She looked and saw it was Regulus.

Whoops.

"Sorry," she apologised in a hushed voice. He didn't say anything, instead his gaze flickered down to the big book she was holding.

_Animal to Humans Transfiguration, An Examination of Some of the Darker Purposes cross Species Transfiguration_ it read. Regulus raised an eyebrow.

Rowan looked defiantly at him before leaving and returning to her table. He could think what he wanted to, she thought to herself.

"Where are you from?" a quiet voice inquired.

To her sheer surprise, he had followed her to her table. She must be living in a parallel universe.

A snarky retort was on the tip of her tongue but then she reasoned, he was only asking her where she was from, and had always been polite to her more or less. Unlike the other death eaters in training, he had never hexed her for the fun of it.

"Romania," she finally answered.

"Why does everyone call you the gypsy girl?" Regulus pressed on.

Rowan studied him with an unreadable expression in her eyes. "Because I am one. I'm Romani, a Roma."

"A what?" Regulus asked confused. Rowan sighed. She got up and motioned for him to follow her. Regulus obeyed and walked behind her, putting more distance than needed too. He didn't want anyone to see him talking to her.

She led him to the History section of the library and expertly wound her way through the shelves. Finally she stopped and scanned some of the titles of the shelf. Then she picked a mossy green leather bound book out and handed it to him.

"Here. Open up your mind and find out why everyone calls me the dirty gypsy girl," she said dispassionately.

Regulus looked down at the title of the book, _A Condensed History of the Roma Wizards and Witches in Eastern Europe_ it read.

He opened his mouth to say something but she was already making her way back to her stuff. Figuring he had said enough to her, he returned to his own table and quietly began to read.

* * *

Rowan didn't think about Regulus any more afterwards. Instead she concentrated on sifting through the difficult concepts her books presented in order to really start making some progress on the spell she hoped to bring to her life.

While her run with Regulus has been…civil to say the least, unfortunately for her, her run in with Cecilia Neufield wasn't civil at all. In fact it was downright annoying.

She was walking down the corridor towards Charms when the bitch elbowed her rather hard as she brushed by her.

"Dirty slut," Cecelia hissed.

"Pardon me?" Rowan stopped. She had just reached the Charms classroom and saw her mates waiting for her. She turned and cocked her head at the girl.

"I said, you're a dirty little slut," Cecelia taunted again.

"Oh. I didn't hear the little part. You know, it's not nice to spread rumours Neufield."

"Who said anything about rumours? Avery saw you and Regulus in the stacks this afternoon in the library!"

Sirius narrowed his eyes at this. She ought to explain this to him.

"Oh well in that case, why yes, I am a dirty little slut." Rowan coolly said taking out her wand.

"Well then, there's no rumour then, is there?" Cecelia nastily said.

"Well no…if you consider giving someone a book dirty…but then again, I am a dirty, filthy girl. I could make you scream Ce," Rowan said her voice taking on menacing tone.

"How dare you!" Cecelia whipped out her wand but Rowan was too quick. With a flick of her own wand Cecelia erupted in boils and hives.

"Boils and hives?" Peter whispered to Remus.

"She must have upgraded that hex too," Remus replied quietly.

Cecelia shrieked and raised her wand again. Rowan disarmed her. "I don't think so you bloody bitch" Rowan said evenly.

She toyed with Cecelia's wand looking at it with distaste. "My god this is an eyesore, I should snap this in offending object in half." She bent it lightly in her hands.

Cecelia screamed with rage and flew at Rowan, quite beside herself. Dodging her gracefully, Rowan hurled her wand to the opposite end of the corridor.

"Better go fetch your wand then," Rowan said.

"This isn't over Forlani," Cecelia threatened.

"As it never is," Rowan loftily said as she turned and went into the Charms classroom.

"You are so lucky that Flitwick didn't catch you. Otherwise you'd be in detention." Lily whispered furiously to her as they took their seats.

"I'd like to hex that girl's nose off," Rowan muttered crossly taking out her things.

Sirius leaned over and tapped Rowan with his wand. "You want to tell me what down in the library?" he asked trying to keep his emotions in check.

"I was working. Ran into your brother. He asked me where I was from. So I answered him." Rowan said shortly.

"Why?" Sirius pressed on.

"Because he asked," Rowan said giving him a sharp look.

"Oh. Yeah well…" Sirius said muttered things under his breath.

Rowan remained in a foul mood throughout the rest of the day. What she really wanted to do was pound the shit out of Ceceilia Neufield once and for all. She couldn't concentrate on anything else.

When she got into these volatile moods of her, Rowan felt as if she could rip someone head's off and be totally fine with it. In fact, she kind of relished violence in some instances. There was a certain aesthetic to violence that she appreciated.

That being said, Rowan did not like harming or bullying people. In fact she abhorred those who did and often got in trouble for hexing students who bullied the younger students.

But still. When someone pissed her off, that person usually ended up in the Hospital Wing.

There was a darkness to her, she was painfully aware of that. That streak of darkness was what almost got her sorted into the Slytherin House, but she had pleaded against that. It was bad enough being stereotyped as a dirty gypsy, but a dirty gypsy who was a Slytherin? She would have never been able to live properly.

She forcibly steered her mind away from this and gritted her teeth , trying to focus on today's lessons. Stinkin Slytherins, she thought irritably as she waved her wand carelessly not thinking. Peter's sleeve caught on fire.

He jumped up and down, with a panicked look on his face. James snorted but then felt a tad bit bad. However, it _was_ a little funny.

"MISS FORLANI!" Flitwick exclaimed waving his wand effectively extinguishing the flame. Peter nervously collapsed in his seat again with a relieved expression. He twisted around in his seat and gave her a sarcastic, double thumbs up.

"Way to go!"

"Sorry," she apologized. Lily rolled her eyes.

* * *

Rowan remained in a funny mood for the rest of the week. She was rarely at dinner, instead she took fantastically long naps and then woke up with a renewed energy that allowed her charge through her homework in one fell swoop so she could continue to work on the new spell she was attempting to create. A part of her just wanted to focus all her time and energy on tinkering on it, but she knew that this year was very important as far as NEWTs went and Lily's dire warning of never having a future after coming home from the States when their money ran out kept ringing in her head. So did all of their teacher's grim reminders that NEWTs were no joke and their entire lives depended on it.

She could have clobbered someone. In fact most of the time she _did_ want to clobber someone and it was a good thing she chose to do most of her work in the dead of night when most of the other Gryffindors were asleep.

Except for her friend Mr. Black.

Sometimes when Sirius was strained he too suffered through insomnia. In fact it was one of the things that they initially bonded over when they first became friends.

With NEWTs, the fact that he was homeless and penniless, poor Sirius hadn't slept properly since the start of school. While James' parents had come to accept him into their home without a second thought, he still felt like a charity case and it made him feel quite self-conscious. He wanted to be a man, be independent and stand on his own two feet.

So yes. Sirius spent a lot of nights tossing and turning in his sleep. Peter's legendary snoring (according to some) didn't help.

Yawning, he stumbled down Boys Staircase. It was half past two in the morning, and he had to be fully awake and able to function properly in about five hours. Thank Merlin it was Friday at least.

He spied Rowan's dark head by the fireplace, her hand moving quickly as she wrote out an essay. For a moment Sirius just stood at the bottom of the staircase, studying his mate's outline in the dim light.

She was such an odd duck, he thought affectionately, a smile unconsciously spreading across his handsome face. She was a force to be reckoned with and he had never met any girl, or anyone one for the matter, quite like her.

He walked over to her and tapped her shoulder. She shouted and fell out of her seat.

"Oi! Calm down would ya? It's just me." Sirius said.

"Oh. Well you scared the crap out of me. What are you doing up?" Rowan asked never minding this particularly undignified moment she had just experienced.

"Couldn't sleep. What are you working on?"

"Konstantin's essay. I took a break from homework and accidentally tinkered on other endeavours for two hours which definitely put me behind on the homework."

"We miss you at the dinner table," Sirius eased himself down in a chair next to her. Rowan yawned and propped her feet up on the table. "Yeah well you got plenty of other people to talk to. And your fanclub."

"Hahaha, not funny. James is so busy wrapped up in Lily and Peter is busy studying at the dinner table,"

"Wait, Peter is studying…at the dinner table?" Rowan interrupted him incredulously.

"Yeah I know! We're entering a post apocalyptic universe! And Remus half the time has his nose buried in some book too."

"Aw is Sirius feeling neglected?" she mocked.

"Yes!" Sirius replied thinking that he did indeed feel neglected.

"Well Sirius that's tough luck," she began. Sirius cut her off with a wave of his hand.

"Nope! Wrong answer, you're supposed to saw, "Aw, I'm sorry, let me make it up to you and we'll hang out and form our own private club."

Rowan laughed. "Well I am sorry that you feel a little abandoned now, but mate I'm up in my ears with stuff. But I don't really give two flying figs 'bout my future so I propose we spend a serious weekend of quality time doing nothing."

"This doing nothing really means doing homework right?" Sirius rolled his eyes.

"Ah you know me too well. But we have to! You're going to be an Auror Sirius! And a damn fine one too so you have to do well. I have great hopes for you m'boy," Rowan tousled his hair affectionately.

Sirius beamed. Praise coming from Rowan was a big deal and the fact she was so confidant in him really did make him feel slightly better at his murky future.

"So! This weekend, you, me, and homework. Let me tell you mate it's going to be a banging weekend." Rowan clapped her hands.

"Uh maybe next weekend, or at least Sunday. Remember, the first quidditch match of the season is tomorrow," Sirius reminded her.

Rowan's mouth dropped open comically and she slapped a hand to her forehead. "Oh merlin! I totally forgot about that."

"I can see why," Sirius mildly remarked thinking how wrapped up she was in her own little world.

"Oh no but I'm definitely coming! C'mon it's our last year of school Quidditch. Which reminds me, you really need to go to bed, you've got a big day tomorrow! You need energy," Rowan exclaimed and with that she tugged Sirius out of the chair and started pushing him towards the Boys Staircase.

Sirius started to laugh at this. "Ro, it's three in the morning."

"So you sleep for five hours now skip breakfast, and then after lessons, sleep some more, and then after dinner, sleep some more." Rowan told him from behind.

"I think you need sleep more than me woman,"

"I'm sure James wants to win, who are you playing against again?"

"Ravenclaw,"

She made a noise of understanding. "Man no wonder you and James look so tired. He must be running you lot into the ground with all the training."

"Are you kidding? Mate I'm buried six feet under the ground!" Sirius grumbled as he started up the stairs again.

"Go to bed you git!"

"You too you bloody madwoman. If you don't go to sleep, you're going to keel over. And on your tombstone it'll say DEATH BY LACK OF SLEEP."

"Better that on my grave marker than "COCKY GIT!"

"Hey!"

"Oh you know I love ya! Anyways now shaddup and go to bed Sirius."

* * *

_A/N:So! We've learned more about our dear characters and I know that I can definitely sympathise with Rowan...I have no idea what I want to do with myself or my life! Anyone else in the same boat? **Be good and please review! Sirius would appreciate it for some good luck for the match coming up. :) xoxox**_


	16. Gryffindor Versus Ravenclaw

_A/N: As always, **thank you for all your lovely support and of course, the reviews!** And if you have any questions or thoughts don't hesitate to ask and without further ado, here we go:_

* * *

Sirius ran a hand through his long hair in anticipation for the first Quidditch Match of the Season, Gryffindor versus Ravenclaw. He stared down at his eggs and decided that he wasn't that hungry.

"Yohoo Sirius!" A female voice called out cheerfully.

_"Yohoo?"_ Rowan asked in disgust while reading Joseph Heller's _Catch-22_ .

"Oh shut up will you?" Sirius grumbled. He glanced over at a gang of giggly sixth year girls. When they saw him looking at them, they started giggling even more. Women.

"Look, Sirius, relax, you're going to do just fine." Rowan replied not even glancing up from her book.

"Easy for you to say, you're not the one flying around in front of a thousand people," He muttered. James, who was looking tense, suddenly stood up and yelled, "Team! Locker room!"

Sirius swung himself off the bench looking grim. Rowan sighed and then tugged at his sleeve before he made to move. He looked at her exasperated. Rowan rolled her eyes and said quietly, "Good luck Sirius."

He softened slightly at this and gave her the briefest of nods. "Have fun freezing your butts off in the stands," he replied. Rowan grinned and shook her head at this.

* * *

Sirius pulled his Quidditch Robes over his head silently and then turned to James expectantly. The whole team was waiting for the pep talk. James looked at his teammates.

"Right, well, I know you're all expecting me to say something deep and profound, but seeing as I just want to kick some arse out there, lets do it." James said spiritedly.

"Huzzah!" Caradoc and Ivan Fitzgerald said slapping hands. Sirius snorted slightly.

"K team, lets get this over with," James said determinedly.

"Mate relax a little bit, it's not as if you're going in for a root canal," Dennis Kramer, the other beater said as they marched out of the locker room. James and Sirius looked at him confusedly. He sighed and shrugged. "Mate me mum's a muggle and she's a dentist. Ask Lily, she'll know."

"Ohhhhh," Sirius said in comprehension.

"Oh gosh, this is so exciting!" Lily exclaimed pushing past Remus to sit down. She had her binoculars with her.

"Thank god for Quidditch! I don't how we'd ever stay sane here!" Marlene said feeling highly anticipated about the match.

Remus smiled. "'Course, we're going to kick the Ravenclaw's arse today." He said feeling rowdy.

"Tut, don't say that until you know the end of the match Remus," Marlene said wagging her finger taking a seat next to him. He only smiled some more and rolled his eyes.

"Oh look! Here they come!" Lily shouted happily. The crowd eyed appreciatively the Gryffindor Team stride out majestically. They had been all boys for the last couple of years, and their faces were as stoic as soldiers going into battle. The girls couldn't help but respect them.

Madame Hooch came out with the crate and a shiny whistle. "Captain, shake hands!" She announced.

James and Ducan Lancaster gripped each others hands and then quickly let go.

"Players, mount your brooms!" She ordered with power. Fourteen players rose into the air. The crowd couldn't help but stand up. She blew the whistle and hurled the quaffle into the air. The crowd roared with approval.

"And they're off!" Hestia Jones screamed into the megaphone, she was commentator.

"Gryffindor, with the quaffle, Dearborn to Fitzgerald, Fitzgerald to Potter, back to Dearborn, SCORE!"

A wave of red and gold appeared with screams. Ten zip!

Sirius grinned and James slapped Caradoc's back. They were off to good start!

The match quickly turned into a fast, edgy match with some fouls committed, Ravenclaw was frustrated and they were getting rougher.

"Jesus!" Sirius yelled spiralling off to the left as a bludger came straight towards his face. He swung out his bat heavily.

"Right mate, you're so toast!" He snarled under his breath. The second time he smacked the bludger, it went sailing over the pitch and it caught Bob Denton unaware and in the face.

"Oooooo," The crowd groaned. The Gryffindors merely shrugged.

Bob went down and the match then turned into a series of flying bludgers more then the quaffle.

James was having an equally difficult time trying to get past the whizzing bludgers without trying to hurt himself, but Ivan and Caradoc were unruffled and went on ahead weaving in and out.

"Man, this match is intense!" Peter crowed.

"This game should be renamed "Who Want To Win A Trip To The Hospital Wing," Rowan muttered.

"Betcha it'll be one of the Ravenclaws," Remus replied watching the match turn more brutal.

"I'm telling you it's gonna be one of ours, I just know it," she answered feeling that Sirius and James and the rest of the team were playing too close to the fire.

"Did you forget to take your happy pills too?" Marlene teased.

Rowan snorted and watched as Ravenclaw attempted to score. Teddy Lawrence, the keeper effectively blocked it and the Gryffindors breathed a sigh of relief.

"Argh watching this match is stressing me out more than NEWTS!" Lily cried who was hugging herself watching for someone to catch the snitch.

"Since when are you so into Quidditch?" Rowan demanded.

"Since always. And it helps that my boyfriend is the captain of the team!" Lily replied grinning like an idiot.

"So it's official then, James Potter in all of his diabolical glory, is your boyfriend?" Marlene laughed.

"Yes. Yes he is. and I prefer the term devious. James is my boyfriend," Lily answered in a satisfied voice.

"Wow two words I'd never thought I'd hear _you_ say," Remus snorted.

"Two words I've been waiting forever to hear you say!" Rowan cheered.

Meanwhile, the match was nearly at its breaking point. Sirius and Dennis were swinging their bats left, right and centre. Trying to protect their teammates and distracting the opposite team was a difficult task. If only Chase could catch the damn snitch!

Suddenly, Chase, the Seeker, went into a spectacular dive and the stadium stood up.  
"And Chase goes into a sharp dive, HE'S SEEN THE SNITCH!" Hestia shrieked into the megaphone.

"GO, GO, GO! DAMNIT! COME ON CHASE!" She screamed. McGonagall shook her head and motioned for the megaphone. Hestia danced out of her way still yelling into the megaphone.

"Go! Go! COME ON!" Sirius yelled, his voice lost in the sound of the crowd. He didn't see the bludger that was going straight at him.

"SIRIUS! DUCK!" James shouted wildly. Sirius turned his head quizzically and then his face contorted in pain.

"JESUS FUCKING CHRIST!" He managed before he started to veering off course. He felt his like his ribs were on fire!

"And Black is hit by a stray bludger! YOU OKAY SIRIUS?" Hestia yelled absent-mindedly. McGonagall shot her another look.

"Oi, mate, are you okay?" James asked flying over and looking over him anxiously.

"Just peachy," Sirius replied managing a weak grin, he held his ribs and he was breathing rather heavily.

Chase, wanting to win this game for Sirius and because he thought his eyes were going to fall out, stretched out his hand as far as he could and grabbed the snitch.

"AND CHASE HAS CAUGHT THE SNITCH! GRYFFINDOR WINS!" Hestia roared pumping her fist.

The team sunk to the earth hugging each other, while Sirius was near to passing out. Everything was dizzy.

"C'mon Sirius, we better get you to the hospital wing." James said worried.

"HELL YEAH WE WON!" Lily shrieked as she and Marlene jumped up and down arms flung around each other. Rowan grinned and high fived Peter, Remus looked through his binoculars to see a huddle of scarlet robes down on the pitch. He frowned.

"I think something has happened, look," he pointed. Rowan snatched up Lily's binoculars and strained to see properly through them. "Well, Hestia did say that Sirius got hit by a bludger…bloody hell I hope it's nothing serious…."

Turns out, it was rather serious, because Sirius had broken his ribs and had to be delivered into the Hospital Wing as soon as Madam Hooch barged into the group huddle to see what all the fuss was about. So instead of joining in the raucous festivities that were being held in the Gryffindor Common Room that night he had to spend it alone in the Hospital Wing loaded up on a lot of painkiller potions.

At around half past nine that evening, Rowan wandered into the Hospital Wing looking for a certain dark haired lad when she spotted the bed with what seems, half the greenhouses of Hogwarts piled next to the beside. A stack of well wishing cards was on the other side. And that is why she didn't come earlier. Why did she have to come now?  
_Because you're his mate Rowan._ one voice told her.

_Because you care about him._ another teased.

_In a friendly manner_, another chimed in warning the other voice to shut the hell up.

_Shut up muses_ Rowan said.

"Rowan?" A sleepy voice called out.

She spun around on her heel and walked over to the bed. Sirius had sat up and was rubbing his eyes.

"Evening mate," She said handing him a piece of parchment. He turned it over it in his hands and quizzically looked at it. "Touch it with your wand," she explained.

Sirius gingerly poked the piece of parchment with the tip of his wand and to his great surprise the parchment flew into the air and then magically folded itself into a bird.  
Sirius' eyes lit up in sheer delight when he saw it begin to fly around his bed.

"So cool Ro!" he exclaimed happily. This by far was better than any of the flowers and cards he had gotten from what seemed like every girl in Hogwarts.

"So has the pain subsided?" Rowan asked sitting gingerly at the end of the bed.

"Rowan, you don't have to sit all the way down there, get up here. I'm not dying," He replied.

"Oh all right," She said giving in. Once seated next to him, she motioned towards his hothouse flowers.

"I would have given you flowers, but I think mine would be a pale comparison compared to the gardens of Eden here," She told him with a little smile.

Sirius laughed a little bit. "That's okay, your bird pawns those and all the rest,"

"Sweet, I wanted to see if I could come up with a flying motorcycle but I didn't have enough time plus I didn't want to end up the Hospital Wing either."

"That's a shame. Then you could have kept me company!"

"Ready to jump off the Astronomy Tower?"

"I am bored out of my thickheaded skull!"

"You ought to have someone bring you a book,"

"Too groggy and sleepy to read Rowan…I need PEOPLE."

She snorted at this and waved her wand conjuring up a squashy armchair. Shifting to sit in, she propped her feet up on the edge of his bed. Sirius suddenly felt the acute loss of her weight on the bed and then wondered why the hell this bothered him all of a sudden.

"Since when can you conjure up comfortable looking armchairs?" Sirius asked brushing his new weird thoughts away

"Since I can't stand the stupid hard wooden chairs that seem to be in abundance in this castle. My butt gets sore easily in them! So I decided to do something about it."

He chuckled at this. "Well at least we're both going with our plan of spending quality time doing nothing this weekend,"

"Ah the silver lining," Rowan teased. Sirius chucked an empty sweet wrapper at her head.

They chatted for a bit and then Rowan dug out her book again itching to continue with her reading. Sirius pouted a bit, but she then offered to read to him and he agreed to this. He didn't want her to go so soon.

"Well let's start from the beginning then," Rowan sunk lower into her chair and got more comfortable.

"You don't have too, you've probably read half of it already," Sirius objected.

"Rubbish, I'll start from the beginning and that way you'll have a sense of going on," Rowan waved a dismissive hand. Then she opened the book and began to read.

Sirius eased himself lower on his pillows and pulled the bedcovers over him more tightly around him. All of a sudden he felt quite…safe with her presence and her quiet, even voice reading the words to him.

He listened quietly to her as she read in an easy going rhythm. He brushed away his increasingly bizarre thoughts and blamed it on all the potions he had to take today. He felt his eyelids get heavier and heavier and then felt himself slid into that pleasant state of knowing that you're going to enter a deep sleep any moment now.

Rowan read up to chapter five before pausing to ask if she ought to continue.

She waited for a reply. When she didn't hear one, she looked back. He had already fallen asleep. Rowan studied him for a moment.

He was so handsome, she thought decidedly. His smile could break hearts easily. It was the rebellions nature that made girls go even more nuts over him, and the fact that he ignored most girls just made them chase after him harder. She passed a hand lightly over his messy hair once before leaving, giving him one last look before she slipped out of the Hospital Wing.

* * *

November continued to pass on, with snow announcing it's arrival one Wednesday morning. Sirius woke up and groaned when he saw the snow covered windows. He flopped back into bed.

"No, no, no, I'm not getting up today. I'm bunking school today!" Sirius yelled from under his covers. He suddenly yelped as he found himself hoisted in the air by the ankle.

"OI!"

"Stop bellyaching and be a man, and go to school you git," James told him as he got out of bed. He grinned when he looked out the window. He loved snow. Sirius on the other hand, despised snow.

"Get me down you prat!"

_Thud_. Sirius crashed into a heap onto his bed. He chucked one of his textbooks at James who laughed and ducked.

"Sirius mate, you're 100% born and brought up English. A true teddy. You've grown up with snow all your damn life yet every year you do this. You ALWAYS do this. You always say you're going to bunk class the first time you see snow!"

"And you two always engage in this same argument! Geez, we all know the script by now!" Remus sighed as he got dressed.

"Learn some new lines," Peter chimed in yanking his tie around his neck.

"I'm moving to Egypt," Sirius grumbled as he slung his bookbag over his shoulder.

"Mate you'd roast alive in Egypt," James snorted as they started tramping down the Boys Staircase.

"I'd wear that headdress thingy! It'll be sunny all the time which is better than any goddamn snow," Sirius protested.

"What about goddamn snow?" Lily asked popping out of nowhere. She kissed James lightly on the lips and he slung an arm around her.

"Sirius here is going to move to Egypt," James told her. Lily looked at him quizzically.

"I hate snow," Sirius explained.

"Oh yeah. Don't you do this every year?" Lily replied.

"Yes, yes he does. Every damn year," Peter groaned.

"Sirius why don't you just run off to California with me? We'll stay in this city called Los Angeles, it doesn't snow there. But it gets hot." Rowan's voice floated over as she joined them.

"What's there in Los Angeles that isn't there in Egypt?"

Rowan thought for a moment. "Sex, drugs and rock and roll? And Venice Beach."

"I'm sold!"

Rowan laughed and messed up his hair affectionately before stealing Lily from James and made her way out of the Portrait Hole. Sirius felt a funny zing go through him and inside his mind was looking quizzically at itself. He ran his hand through his hair again trying to make it more presentable and once again pushed his bizarre thoughts out of his head.

* * *

_A/N: Show your favourite Marauder some love and **please review! xoxoxo**_


	17. Research

_A/N: **Your support continues to overwhelm me and I appreciate it so much, you all are amazing.** I'm sorry this chapter is a little shorter than usual but I've been pulling extra shifts at work and have had to be at my desk at 2am (I'm not kidding) all the way to 11am and needless to say I'm very exhausted. Anyhooo, I hope all of you are well and again if you have any questions or comments don't hesitate to ask. And if you have any critical feedback please let me know, I just want to become a better writer and keep putting out good writing for you guys!_

* * *

Students began to hunker down in the library and in the Common Rooms as it got colder and colder and the snow began piling up in drifts. Regulus and Rowan had come to an unspoken agreement that they were partners now in Duelling Club, something that left Benjy thunderous and Snape ready to murder someone in their bed.

This now meant that Snape either didn't come to the meetings or he dragged along another Slytherin to partner with him.

Rowan would never admit to this to any of her mates, but a part of her lived in eager anticipation for that one and half hours on Friday nights. She always ended up having the time of her life.

Sometimes she felt a wee bit guilty that she was enjoying herself so much…with someone who was most likely a death eater.

That and the fact that he was Sirius little brother.

Then towards the end of November, the unthinkable happened.

Regulus spoke to her.

He spoke more than a sentence to her.

She swore, that the world actually stopped tilting on its axis for a moment.

It was the last Friday of November, their duelling club session had just wrapped up and students were exiting out of the Great Hall. Rowan had hung back waiting until the other Gryfindors had already left and finally began making her way out of the Great Hall.

She had honestly thought she was alone and had started to play with magic again, this time wandless. She had a stray quill crushed in her pocket of her trousers and had taken out. Concentrating with all her might, she held the quill in one hand and then with her left hand, which she presumed was her wand hand, and flicked her fingers, attempting to levitate the quill.

To her sheer delight, the quill floated out of her right hand and she watched as it hovered in the air. Experimentally she gestured with her hand, left then right and the quill mirrored her hands actions.

It was funny, she had unwittingly done some serious wandless action by accident, but trying to control magic with no wand, that was totally different. She was having difficulty mastering the smallest of magic. Lily had given her the oddest looks after Rowan had dug out her first year transfiguration and charms textbook.

"Impressive," a quiet voice said. Rowan nearly jumped out of her skin and her quill fell to the floor.

Her eyes nearly fell out of her head when she saw Regulus bend down and pick up the quill. He handed it back to her.

Silent, she accepted it and tucked it back in her pocket.

For a moment there was silence between the pair of them. Rowan looked unabashedly at him, her keen eyes studying him.

Regulus didn't back down from this stare down. In fact he stared back even more, his eyes raking over her features, narrowing at the scars that illustrated her face.

"So how long have you been able to wandless magic?" he finally asked.

Rowan shrugged. "Dunno. I guess since that night in duelling club way back in October? When I plastered you into the air?"

He made a noise of understanding. He fell into step with her as they made their way up a staircase.

"So how many languages do you speak?" he asked.

Rowan looked at him incredulously. He shrugged. "I read some more books on the Romani after the book you gave to me,"

"I can't believe you actually read," she said unthinkingly. Then she mentally face palmed herself for being so rude.

"I like to read," he said quietly.

"I speak four languages,"

"English…Roma…and what else?"

"Romanian and Russian."

"I see,"

They continued to walk along the corridor, not speaking to each other but there was good deal of furtive glances being exchanged. Rowan couldn't help but smile faintly at the ridiculousness of all this.

"So you like to read? Anything in particular?" Rowan asked not sure if he was going to answer.

"Classic Russian Literature," Regulus replied in his soft, even voice.

Suddenly Rowan was very aware of how different yet, scarily similar the Black brothers were.

It didn't just go down to looks, it even went down to their voice. Sirius and Regulus sounded almost exactly alike, in tone, except Sirius' voice was lower, deeper. They even moved the same way, that same, slow, loping gait. No wonder he generated as much female interest as Sirius did.

But then, Regulus…there was a sense of…quiet calmness that radiated off him. He almost looked as if he was a man who had spent the last hundred years sitting atop a hill battling the wind. His eyes always seemed so exhausted, not tired exhausted, but exhausted of life.

Granted, Rowan only got to study these said pair of eyes between glances at Duelling Lessons and their stare down that just happened moments ago.

Sirius on the other hand, had a mercurial, vibrancy that emanated off him. Even though he brooded a fair amount, there was still this electrified air that just surrounded him. It's what drew Rowan to him in the first place. He could be quiet, temperamental, explosive, silent, all in one day. Rowan liked this about him because it eased her feelings about her own wild mood swings.

"Are you reading anything now?" Rowan asked.

"I'm trying to get through _Prussian Knights_ by Aleksandr Solzhenitsyn, it came out a couple of years ago."

"Didn't he write…_One Day In the Life of Ivan Denisovich_?" Rowan furrowed her brow.

"Yes, the same one. Before I was reading Gogol."

"Wow…that's some really heavy reading," Rowan commented faintly impressed.

"It helps put things in perspective," Regulus replied cryptically.

"Yeah Russian writers can do that to you," Rowan snorted. Regulus slid her a glance.

"Can you read in Romanian?" He changed the subject.

"What kind of person would I be if I couldn't? I spent the first eleven years of my life there,"

"Why'd you come here?"

Rowan hesitated for a moment, debating whether or not she wanted to tell him. Not many of her mates even knew how she came to England in the first place. The less people knew, the better it was for her, her family and the community. They didn't need to draw attention to themselves.

Regulus seemed to have noticed her hesitation. "I'm sorry, you don't have to answer the question. I barely know you."

She felt sigh of relief escape her. She kind of like that he didn't push or prod. "Thank you. I appreciate that."

He nodded. Then he stopped and gestured towards the left hallway. "Well, I'm off this way."

"Oh. Okay." Rowan felt a faint tug of disappointment. He fascinated her for some odd reason.

Regulus gave her one last nod and then went off his way. Before she could stop herself, she called out, "Hey!"

He turned and looked at her. "Have a good night," she said.

The smallest of smiles appeared on his face. "You too."

What a strange exchange.

* * *

Regulus slumped back in his seat and rubbed his eyes wearily. He stared back at the mountain of books that was stacked in front of them.

It was half past one in the morning, on a Wednesday, and he was spending precious time he could use to sleep, doing research.

He wasn't even doing homework.

He was researching.

He was researching _her_.

It had been nearly three weeks since she had handed him that big green monster of a book to him, and he had spent three weeks trying to get through the entire tomb. He had skipped the preface and introduction and didn't even both going through the appendixes. He still had to renew the stinkin book two times in order to fully get through it.

His curiosity had been sparked from the fifth chapter of that book and he had gone to check out more books about Roma People and culture. Then he began compiling a profile of her.

Regulus was not quite sure why he felt the need to meticulously write down each and every fact he found relevant or interesting, wondering if they applied to her or if they were true. But he wasn't just collecting information on her, he had ended up studying an entire culture and ethnic group.

A group that had unfortunately been marginalized and mistreated for the better of two hundred years.

At first he had been mind boggled reading the brief condensed history of Roma people. They were from all over Central and Eastern Europe, Anatolia and some even lived in the Middle East. He had no idea what country she was from until she had told him a few nights ago. He felt a small sense of relief as he began to narrow his research.

Up until the year 1856, the Roma people had lived in complete and utter slavery. They couldn't leave the property of their owners and they mostly lived in the Wallachia area. When he had come across the term Wallachia he snorted, thinking that it was a mythical place that the muggle book, Dracula had taken place. He had been quite surprised to find out that it was a real place.

Between the years 1857 and 1918, the Roma had more or less had been liberated from various provinces and most of them immigrated out of Wallachia and other nearby areas.

Sometime during the 1940's, Romania ended up deporting 25,000 Roma to Transnistria, 11,000 of them had died. During World War II, which also affected the magical world, 36,000 Roma died. They had also been the victims of a systematic genocide from the Nazis and Ustsa. In the Romani culture this was known as_ Porajmos_. Romanis from all over Eastern Europe, including Romania were marked for extermination and sentenced to forced labour or imprisoned in concentration camps.

Regulus was highly disturbed to read that they were often killed on site. Apparently no one knew the total estimate of victims but historians estimated that even the lowest number of killings would make the Porajmos one of the largest mass murders in history for a minority.

After World War II, the Roma people were once subjugated to mistreatment, and not just in Romania. The USSR had built their iron curtain and enveloped the majority of Eastern Europe in a tight grip. Communism was implemented everywhere and the Roma were forced to undergo assimilation schemes and had many restrictions placed on their cultural freedom.

Today, the Romani language and music are both banned in many countries. Romani women were often targeted and kidnapped, forced to go sterilization.

In Romania, the Roma people were hard to document as they had become experts on hiding. The magical Roma community fortified their communities with their own brand of gypsy magic and tried to be as invisible as possible. However, a minority of them ended up fleeing Romania anyway. How they managed to do that, how her family managed to do that, astounded Regulus.

Regulus found it very interesting that they placed a high value on family and their extended family. His eyebrows rose up when he read that virginity is essential in unmarried women.

Apparently, both men and women marry very young, it wasn't uncommon for teenagers to get married before they even finished school, that is, if they went.

He found his mind boggled when he read that they operated on a strict set of rules based on the Hindu purity laws. Then he had to go to the library yet again and fetch another book on that. Regulus had given himself a headache trying to get through that bloody book.

How the hell did she even manage to function or live? The amount of rules that the Roma people apparently lived by, went into the hundreds. It applied to actions, people and things. Parts of the body are considered impure, the entire lower body was viewed in poor light, and even childbirth was considered impure. According to tradition, the mother has to give birth outside her house or wherever she lived! And then, after that, she was considered impure for forty days after giving birth!

Regulus couldn't imagine living a life by those rules. Even death was impure. When one member of the family died, the entire family is considered impure for a period of time.

Another thing that disturbed him was the traditional practice of bride kidnapping. Girls as young as twelve could be kidnapped for marriage to teen aged boys. It was a way to avoid paying a bride price or a dowry, or a way for a girl to marry a boy she wanted but her parents didn't approve of.

The Roma people upheld a strict moral code and the greatest shame or punishment for a person of that culture was to be expulsed from Romani society. The expelled person was considered to be contaminate and is shunned by the entire Roma society. Regulus wondered what the hell a person had to do in order to get expelled. Kill someone? Run away from home and never come back? Have a child out of wedlock? He was stumped on that one.

Regulus began to understand parts of her personality and how she viewed people the way she did once he began reading information about how the relations Roma people had with other people. Because of their nomadic lifestyle and stark differences in language and culture, and the fact that they've never been viewed as proper people and were subjugated to torture, slavery and genocide in the last two centuries, they viewed people with distrust.

Unfortunately, a common stereotype was that Roma people were tramps or thieves and unfit for work which contributed to their rampant persecution.

The magical Roma community were even more complex than their muggle counterparts. They were notoriously fierce and had a history of fighting back, violently when threatened. They sought to live in secret and in peace but more often than not the bloody communists somehow found them and things turned ugly. Their gypsy magic was potent and blurred across the lines of what was considered good magic and dark magic.

This was something that greatly intrigued Regulus. He had to talk to her. He had been researching for so long but he hadn't really come across any book that could explain how their magical abilities worked or how they could perform wandless magic. He still did not understand how gypsy magic worked and how it was different from regular magic.

He studied his neat notes and sighed. She was so complex and he didn't even really know her. He knew of her culture, but he wanted to know more about her personally.

Regulus brooded for a bit. He wondered if she was set up in an arranged marriage or was betrothed to someone. She did not really date all that much and could be quite cool towards boys. He did remember though she dated Gideon Prewett a few years back.

He could feel the beginning of a headache settle in his temple. He was finding out more and more that he was experiencing these headaches whenever his mind strayed to the topic of her. Then he swore a blue streak and shoved his books in his bag.

She was making his life complicated and she wasn't really in it.

Amazing.

* * *

_A/N: I hope you enjoyed learning a little bit more of Rowan's ethnicity. Most of my facts came from articles I found online through google and I just threw in the magical component for fun because I think it's interesting to blend the muggle and magical world together, **be good and please review! xoxoxo**_


	18. Incidents

_A/N: Thanks for all the support, feed back and reviews. Now I realise that to some of you some of these chapters appear fluffy/filler-ish but as I've stated before the first half of this fic is a coming of age story so it focuses more on character development and getting to know their personalities inside and out. Also, the story will turn darker, more serious as time goes on so hence the more cheerful scenes before I dump a lot of doom and gloom on you lot. ANYWAY. I also want to wish all of those who are in school/uni **good luck** during finals week. =]_

* * *

If Sirius loathed November because of the snow it brought, then Sirius despised December with an intensity that alarmed his mates because of the droves of snow it dumped on them. The only mildly redeeming thing about December was Christmas.

"You know, one night a week we should have breakfast for dinner," Rowan grumbled taking in tonight's dinner choices. What she really wanted was some pancakes and maple syrup. Not shepherd's pie or pork chops or lamb. As a vegetarian Rowan often was left to fill up on bread and vegetables and vegetables could only be made so many ways and still taste good.

"Eat your peas," Sirius teased fully aware that she hated peas.

"Up yours Black," she flicked said offending object at him. He chuckled and tucked into his dinner.

"So what's everyone doing for Christmas?" Marlene asked.

"I'm staying here," Sirius replied.

"Padfoot, you know you can come home with me," James said. Sirius waved a hand. "I know, I know, but it still feels weird, like I'm intruding. I dunno mate, your parents are the best, they are, but I don't want to be burden on them."

"But you're not! You're like their second son!" James protested.

Sirius mumbled something. Then he spoke louder, "Well, it's my last year here, so why not experience one last Chrissy at Hogwarts? It'll be nice to have the castle to myself."

"Oooo we should all spend Christmas here!" Lily exclaimed. Marlene nodded enthusiastically.

Remus and Peter exchanged looks and shrugged. "Yeah okay," Peter said.

"Well you could sound a little bit more chipper than THAT," Marlene rolled her eyes. Rowan chuckled.

"What about you Ro?" James asked.

"Yeah I was going to stay anyway since my parents aren't going to be here," she answered.

"Holiday?" Lily asked.

"Taking care of family stuff in Romania. No use in me going now since it's a bit…chaotic over there to say the least," Rowan replied referencing the crazy communistic rule that was imposed over the Wizards and Witches and Muggle population.

"Brilliant, so it's settled, we're all going to spend Christmas here." James clapped his hand.

"For my Christmas present I just want pancakes for dinner, thanks," Rowan grumbled tearing a bread roll to shreds.

"Oh yeah, about that, James, be a darling and tell me what you want for Christmas cos I have no clue how to shop for guys." Lily told James.

"Pa ha! No you're going to have to be creative 'bout that m'dear. You think it's easy shopping for girls?"

"Uh yeah!" the girls said in unison. The boys groaned.

"No way, it's totally easier to shop for girls than for girls to shop for guys," Marlene argued pointing her fork at James.

"I'd like to see you prove it," he replied.

"Like I said, just give me pancakes for dinner for my present," Rowan whispered to Peter who grinned as the others got into a furious debate over which gender it was easier to shop for.

* * *

"Oi blood traitor!" a voice shouted as the Gryffindors queued outside out of McGonagall's classroom one afternoon.

"Oh god what _now_?" Sirius groaned whirling around. Almost instinctively, Rowan, James and Remus adjusted their stances, straightening up, eyes narrowing, hands fingering their wands in the pockets of their robes.

Rosier sneered at him, beside him, Wilkes took out his wand casually twirling it between his fingers.

"How's going to feel spending Christmas all alone since you've got no family?" Rosier taunted.

"Pretty damn good actually. My family is a nuisance." Sirius replied waggling his eyebrows, pissing Rosier off.

"Your family is one of the oldest, noblest pure-blood families there is left. And you've besmirched them by flouting your stupid ideals and running away from home. You're a disgrace. It's only deserving your family disowned you. You're a right blood traitor bastard Black."

"Yeah he is, but we still like him," Rowan said casually slinging an arm around Sirius' waist. She did however draw out her wand.

"We love him anyway," Remus affirmed stepping forward. "I suggest you go now, wouldn't want to loose points for your House now would you? You've got a Head Boy AND a Head Girl here."

Lily suddenly realised she was an idiot. Of course she could dock some points of them! She was Head Girl damnit.

"Like we would ever listen to a mudblood," Wilkes snarled. James' eyes darkened. "Take that back mate,"

"Like hell,"

"Ten points from Slytherin," Lily coolly injected herself into this little tiff.

Rosier glared at her. He made a very rude hand gesture. "Another ten from Slytherin. For harassment and insulting authority," Lily said. Her eyes stared coldly.

Wilkes opened his mouth to say something but at this moment the door promptly flew open and McGonagall poked her head out to usher in her students. She spotted the pair of Slytherins and her mouth went thin. "Wands away Rosier, Wilkes, and you best be heading off to your next lesson."

The boys mumbled something and slunk off, not before throwing Sirius a vicious glare. Sirius gritted his teeth and Rowan let her arm fall to the side as she waited to enter the classroom.

"Hey, don't let them get to you," she reassured him.

"I know, it just gets old. I just want to beat the crap out of that prick," Sirius said in a disgruntled voice. "I'm tired of just sitting and standing and taking it. I want to _do _something about it,"

James nodded sympathetically. As Head Boy it took him a lot of restrain to rein him from hexing people because they were pissing him off. Sirius and James were prone to fight back with fire if provoked and throughout their school career they had lost some serious amount of house points because of that.

"I know, it's _so_ hard being the bigger person," Rowan sighed, she smiled and elbowed his ribs good naturedly. He stuck his tongue out at her and slid into his seat.

"Right so as you all know it's December now which leaves us another six months before you take your NEWTs. Up till now we've been working hard, but now is the time to work even harder. Twice a week we will go through NEWT practice papers. Once a week we will have practice oral examinations."

The class sighed and Peter slid down in his seat. He would have paid big money for someone to shove him to the lake right now.

"So if you could please open your textbooks to Chapter Ten…" McGonagall said writing something on the blackboard.

Sirius thunked his forehead on his book and James rapped his head lightly. "C'mon mate, look alive,"

"Kill me now please," he groaned lifting his head now.

"You can die after your NEWTs if you choose to Mr. Black, but for now wands out and look sharp," McGonagall said passing by them.

Slightly surprised that she hadn't docked points from him, Sirius focused his mind and looked down at his textbook.

"What the hell are we supposed to do?" he whispered to Rowan.

"We're practicing transfiguration and then untransfiguration spells," she told him concentrating on the goblet she was trying to turn into a bird.

"It says here apparently Aurors have to transfigure and untransfigure in their work frequently…oh goody." Sirius commented cynically.

"Shut up and let me focus Sirius," Rowan muttered as she waved her wand. Her bird ended up with a stem of a goblet instead of it's a feet.

"That's a good start," Remus remarked encouragingly. Rowan frowned and waved her wand again. It became a whole bird again.

Sirius waved his wand and his goblet started to smoke. Whoops.

"Uhhh Sirius mate…are you aware that your goblet…is smoking?" Peter asked.

"Yeah….I can't concentrate!"

"How are you going to pass your NEWTs?" Lily whispered as she watched James work with his goblet.

"Relax would ya? I'm gonna run off with Ro to California, maybe open up a sweet shop or something. Future is solved!" Sirius waved his wand again. This time his goblet transformed into box.

Rowan sniggered and pointed her wand. This time her bird reverted back to its original state of the goblet.

"Ha!" she cried delighted. She waved her wand again and it went back to a bird.

"Show-off," Remus teased.

"Oh man I could amuse myself for hours doing this, bird, glass, bird, glass, bird glass," she said watching in fascination as her object transformed and untransformed.

"Having fun are we?" A dry voice said. Rowan guiltily looked up and saw McGonagall looking unamused down at her.

"A little bit," she replied sheepishly.

"Well maybe you'd like to revisit Gungleworth's Principles of Multiple Transfiguration?" McGonagall said giving her a pointed look. Of course Rowan couldn't goof off in class even if she did the work.

"Yes, yes I would. So then it's possible to conduct a series of multiple transfiguration and then transfigure those back to its original state, or just is possible to take the transfigured object and change them again?"

"You mean to just continue changing objects into different things over and over again, and then untransfigure them? Yes it is, but it's difficult and takes a lot of precision."

"Ohhhhh," Rowan remarked absently flicking through her textbook.

The rest of the class passed on without any minor mishaps. Then Rowan had to be adventurous and try some different spellwork with her wand and suddenly there was a very large BANG and Rowan was catapulted out of her seat from the force of the explosion and glass shards flew everywhere. Several cries of distress were heard as the people tried to avoid getting hit.

"MISS FORLANI!" McGonagall's angry voice sounded. Rowan heard her but made no effort to open her eyes or get up from the floor where she had crashed into a bookshelf before landing in a heap.

"I know, I know," she sighed gingerly getting up. She felt something hot and sticky running down the side of her face.

"Holy shit, you're bleeding!" Sirius exclaimed hurrying over to her.

"Language Mr. Black! Five points from Gryffindor and another twenty from Miss Forlani," McGonagall reprimanded but looked slightly concerned as Rowan hesitantly touched her face.

"Oh," Rowan said dispassionately wincing as she felt her eyebrow. Apparently, she had split it. Perfect.

"Mr. Black perhaps you'll help Miss Forlani to the hospital wing? She'll need Madam Pompfrey to look at her cut," McGonagall said conjuring up a handkerchief and handing it to Sirius who passed it to Rowan.

"No, it's okay I can go by myself," Rowan said pressing the handkerchief in attempt to staunch the bleeding.

"Rowan c'mon let me come with you," Sirius urged. She waved a hand. "Nah it's okay mate, I'm fine. Nothing but the usual chaos I inflict on myself. I'll see you in a little bit."

He felt a stab of irritation go through him at her brush-off. It annoyed him that she never seemed to need anyone. Then he mentally braked in his head and wondered why the hell it bothered him so much, that she didn't appear to need him. It did not used to bother him before. Strange.

"Well at least let me help you up," Sirius stuck out a hand.

Rowan conceded at this and let him pull her to her feet. He shook his head slightly at her and handed her bookbag.

"Ah shit sorry 'bout your classroom Professor," Rowan surveyed the room with an apologetic expression.

"Language!"

"Sorry!" Rowan waved her wand and people ducked as the numerous pieces of glass flew together and then magically repaired itself into a goblet. The scorch marks also magically disappeared from her desk and other debris vanished.

McGonagall couldn't help but look faintly proud of her student and stared after her with one of her rare smiles as Rowan left the classroom.

"You'd do well to take a note out of her book Mr. Black and focus some more, just don't hurt yourself please,"

"I'll try my best Professor," Sirius replied also staring at the door at which Rowan had just exited.

* * *

"Hey," a quiet voice said over her shoulder.

Rowan nearly jumped out of her seat and stared at who was addressing her.

"…Hey," she said bewildered looking at Regulus.

It was half past nine and Rowan was in the library alone. Lily and James were on Patrol, Remus, Sirius and Peter were holed up in their dorm doing god knows what and Marlene was busy with Caradoc.

"What are you doing?" He asked gesturing to the numerous books and stacks of parchment that surrounded her.

"Oh just some research. I was working on Alchemy before that," Rowan cleared some of her stuff to make some space and Regulus accepted the unsaid invitation and hesitantly sat down in a seat across from her.

"Oh I'm trying to work through alchemy myself. It's not going to well though," he sighed.

Rowan raised her eyebrows. He didn't strike her a guy who would be interested in alchemy but then again she really didn't know him all too well. "What are you stuck on?"

"Gregory's Properties of Alchemy during the Renaissance."

"Yeah that's a tough one. It took me forever to figure out what to write for that one last year," Rowan said sympathetically.

"What are you researching?"

"Oh…just some mythological stuff. Personal interest." Rowan evasively replied.

"Mythology…as in Greek and Roman stories?" Regulus asked baffled.

"Yeah…I'm reading the story of Apollo and Daphne," Rowan said showing him the book.

"Isn't that the one where she turns herself into a tree?" Regulus scrunched up his nose trying to remember.

"Yeah, it is, because Apollo is chasing after her and she didn't want him," Rowan smiled slightly.

"Poor Apollo," Regulus shook his head.

"I really like the illustration of this one, I would love a magical engraving of it," Rowan absently remarked.

"You could probably find one in an antique shop…in Greece," Regulus said, and then he did the unthinkable. He actually smiled.

This threw Rowan off completely. She had seen small smiles, faint smiles, but a smile a smile? This was the first.

She found that she rather liked it. It made him look less like the man who carries the entire weight of the world on his shoulders.

"Or pay an artist to do an engraving or illustration," he continued flicking through the pages.

"I'm flat broke, maybe in the next life," Rowan snorted scribbling something down.

Regulus didn't remark on this but instead took out his own books and ink pot. "Do you mind if I work here too?"

Rowan stared at him. "If you don't mind potentially being seen with a…oh what do they call me? 'A dirty gypsy girl' and if you're quiet."

"Just to let you know, I'm nearly always quiet, and I don't mind being seen with you, and for the record, I don't think you're a dirty gypsy girl," Regulus said quietly, but firmly.

Taken slightly aback she blinked. "Erm. Well. Okay then."

"I really don't, I just don't want to make your life difficult with people seeing _you_ with _me_," he assured her. Rowan gave him a faint smile. "And for the record I don't see you as the dirty gypsy girl. From all our runs in you appear to be quite clean."

She just looked at him, eyes amused. "Is that your way of making a joke?"

"A very, very, bad one," he conceded. She chuckled.

"Besides you're most likely a pureblood. Your people like to keep things within your own communities am I right?"

"Yes…but that's neither here or there, blood doesn't matter to me," Rowan said a little coldly.

"We're all entitled to our own opinions," Regulus retorted calmly.

"You're right. So here's what we'll do, you keep your opinions to yourself, and I'll keep mine to myself, and hell won't freeze over cos a Gryffindor and Slytherin are sitting at the same table…and if you need help on your essay…give me prod," Rowan said in a brisk voice as she tugged a stack of notes towards her.

Regulus didn't say anything but his lips quirked.

* * *

Madam Pomfrey was NOT pleased when Rowan showed up in the Hospital Wing, yet again two days after she had split her eyebrow open. This time it was much worse.

Rowan was tinkering on the spell she had been developing since that night she had first duelled with Regulus in an empty classroom. Everything had been going well so far. She had performed the spell on a small scale, working with a small object and it had worked. But then again, this was an inanimate object and the spell she was working on was intended for humans, or things that were alive.

That's when she ran into some problems.

She had transfigured a goblet into a rabbit to give her something alive to work with. Then she attempted to perform her spell on the rabbit and all hell broke loose. Something went wrong and an explosion of huge proportions occurred sending her sailing backwards in the air and throwing her against the wall with a white hot pain inflaming every bone from her body, and it wasn't from crashing the wall, it came from the damage of the experimental spell itself.

Regulus and Snape heard a loud bang and ruckus coming from a classroom and the exchanged looks. It was half past eight and most students were either in the library or in their dorms. They themselves were heading towards the library.

"What do you think that was?" Snape asked.

"Dunno. It came from there," Regulus gestured towards some classrooms.

"Probably some idiot trying to study for his OWLs or NETW's," Snape muttered.

"…Smoke is coming out of a classroom…." Regulus said staring at said smoke.

"So?" Snape loftily replied.

"So? Mate we just heard an explosion and _smoke_ is coming out of a classroom…that can't be a good thing can it?" Regulus said frustrated.

"Oh c'mon Regulus let's go, I have a lot of homework to get through!" Snape whined.

"So do I! But that doesn't mean I'm not gonna look. Something could have gone terribly wrong!" Regulus huffed stomped towards the classroom where the smoke was coming from under the door. He wrenched the door open and immediately started coughing.

Holy Merlin's beard. The blackboard was on fire and the desks were smashed into smithereens. Someone must have caused this to happen…but he didn't see anyone.

"Oi give me hand here!" Regulus shouted to Snape who sighed and traipsed into the classroom.

Alarmed at the site of flames Snape shouted "Aguamenti!" and the fire was promptly doused. He stared stunned at the wreckage of what was the classroom.

"What the hell….?" He sputtered.

"Open some windows! I can't see with this damned smoke. Someone must be here or how else could have this happened?" Regulus yelled trying to make his way around the debris.

Snape hurried over and yanked some windows open letting a cold rush of air into the classroom. The smoke dissipated a little and Regulus waved a hand in front of his face.

Snape stumbled over something trying to find Regulus. He looked down and then his eyes widened in a mixture of fear and disgust.

He had stumbled over a person.

"I think I found something…or someone!" Snape stammered trying to control herself.

"Where are you?"

"Here!"

"Put some sparks into the air you git!"

Snape shot some red sparks into the air and a few minutes later Regulus appeared. Snape pointed to the floor and Regulus groaned.

"Fuck…she might be really hurt," he said worriedly bending down and hesitantly putting his fingers to her neck feeling for a pulse. Snape raised an eyebrow at the amount of concern Regulus was showing over a Gryffindor.

It was there. But he couldn't tell if she was breathing or not. She looked very much unconscious. In fact, she looked...very well...Regulus pushed that thought out of his head.

"Try and wake her up," Snape urged.

"…Forlani…Forlani…ROWAN!" Regulus shouted shaking her slightly.

She didn't say or respond to him. Snape crouched down and pointed his wand at her closed eyes. "Ennervate," he said.

Regulus looked impressed that Snape knew this. Then he returned his attention to Rowan who apparently didn't respond to this either.

"Is she dead?" Snape asked with a hint of fear in his voice. He didn't want to be the one finding a dead body in the classroom.

* * *

_A/N: Show Rowan some sympathy and **be good and please review =] xoxoxoxo**_


	19. Discussions

_A/N: I'm really pleased to hear that Rowan's character is receiving such great feedback! As I've told many of you, she is the most complicated character I've rendered and have big plans for her, so thanks for your support for her. :) As always **thank you so much for your amazing support and reviews**, you lot are really lovely and I appreciate it so much. Again, **good luck to those who are pegging away at their books for finals, you can do it!** And now without further ado we resume getting into our character's heads._

* * *

"I don't think so…but she doesn't look so good either…she needs to go to the Hospital wing."

Snape groaned. "Are you serious?"

"Severus!" Regulus used his first name because he was getting pissed off. "She could be seriously injured, she's not waking up!"

"Fine…I swear Regulus…sometimes I wonder why you're in this house again…"

"I'm human you dolt, not heartless though. Help me would you?"

The pair of them struggled out of the classroom. Snape exhaled a breath and swiped a lock of hair out of his face. "Let me levitate her, it'll be easier,"

"Be careful," Regulus replied anxiously cautiously holding on to Rowan's limp hand. He watched with wide eyes as Snape levitated her, his wand held aloft like a conductor.

"I swear Regulus…really…" Snape muttered as they made their way to the Hospital Wing. Regulus barged in with further ado and yelled for Madame Pomfrey who came out hurrying and her mouth thinned seeing who was with them.

"Right this way Mr. Snape, Mr. Black," she ushered the to the nearest bed. Snape carefully levitated her lower and then Madame Pomfrey hovered her checking her vital signs.

"What happened?" she inquired.

"We don't know. We found her in an empty classroom. A big explosion happened. Is she dead?" Regulus replied.

She muttered something under her breath. "Honestly…that girl is going to kill herself one day with her experiments…she's not dead...but if you hadn't brought her in now she would have been teetering the edge of it."

Snape inwardly breathed a sigh of relief and Regulus felt his anxiety dissipate slightly. Still, she did look awfully...dead right now.

"Right well…she's in for a long haul…you may go now. I'll alert the Headmaster that you brought her in. Thank you. Goodness knows what might have happened if she had been found later..." she trailed off not wanting to think of the other scenario.

At this Snape promptly turned on his heel and raced out of the Hospital Wing. Regulus however opted to sit on a chair a few beds away from where Rowan was. Madame Pomfrey looked at him. "You don't have to stay Mr. Black, it's going to be a very long night."

"That's all right. I want to stay." He replied.

Flustered, she wrung her hands. "Really, you don't have, to,"

"I said, I want to stay," Regulus reiterated in that cool, calm soft voice of his. It had a ring of command in it.

Madam Pomfrey said no more but bustled away collecting the things she needed. Regulus sighed and scrubbed his hands over his face. It was going to be one, long, suck-y night.

* * *

Her head felt heavy.

She felt oddly disconnected from her body. She struggled to open her eyes and when she finally did she had to blink several times in order to focus.

Fuck she felt like a truck had run over her.

Rowan tried to lift one of her hands and found the task immensely taxing.

"Hey,"

With a heroic effort, Rowan turned her head sideways and her eyes became as big as teacup saucers.

Regulus gave her a long, serious look. He handed her a glass of water and she drank it down greedily. She was so thirsty.

"What happened?" She asked.

"You...well let's just say whoever's classroom you were in…well…it's nicely burnt to a crisp." He said in an effort to make things seem a little better than they were.

Rowan groaned. "Oh hell…did I cause any holes to appear or blow out any windows this time?"

"Not from what I saw but there was a lot of smoke when we found you…"

"We?"

"Snape and I."

"Oh. How'd you find me?"

"We heard the explosion and then saw the smoke. We were on our way to the library."

"Oh. You brought me here?"

"That we did."

Rowan fell quiet for a moment absorbing this. "Was it bad?"

"You couldn't even be ennervated…you were knocked out rather bad. I thought you…I thought you were dead." Regulus told her.

She made a noise of comprehension. She gingerly twisted to her side and looked at him.

For the first time, Regulus was struck by how…fragile she looked. She looked so small, a dark haired head on the pillow with the blankets piled up on her. He felt strangely disconcerted by this, he was so used to the girl who he barely knew who duelled like a maniac and stood up to the majority of his housemates always ready to engage in a fight.

Now she just looked like a little girl.

It frightened him a little bit. It scared him because he knew that sooner or later, somebody in his house would realise that she wasn't invincible and would get her some way when she was least expecting it.

It was stupid and he knew it, but it scared him that she was so painfully human.

What he didn't understand was why the hell he was feeling like this, over her. He didn't fancy her, had no interest in dating her or even going down any of those roads with her. He didn't even bloody know her. But still, she just had this bloody hold over him and it drove him bananas.

Then he realised something. He figured out why she drove him nuts.

It was because he wanted to be _friends_ with her.

This, of course, was unheard of. A Slytherin and a Gryffindor, mates?

Ridiculous.

And that's what caused him to bang his head against the wall.

While Regulus was busy having this internal dialogue in his head, Rowan studied him with sober eyes.

"Thank you," she said softly.

"What?" Regulus snapped out of his thoughts.

"Thank you for bringing me here…"

"You could have died," Regulus replied seriously. He was half in mind to give her a right good knock on the head for making his life complicated.

"I wouldn't put it past that," Rowan ruefully admitted.

"Madam Pomfrey said that one of these days you were going to end up killing yourself by accident from your experiments. What is she talking about?"

"I….like screw around with magic. Sometimes I don't focus enough I guess and things happen." Rowan said evasively.

"You need to be careful." Regulus insisted. Rowan nearly smiled.

"You know, you're not nearly anything like what I thought you'd be like," she said after a pause.

Regulus shifted in his seat and cocked his head. Rowan was irresistibly reminded of Sirius when he did that.

"What'd you make me out to be?"

"I don't know really…you're a Slytherin…and well…no offense but a lot of you…are well…evil." Rowan said bluntly.

Regulus chortled and she smiled. "Yeah…I know we have different opinions and everything…but I'm quieter….I like to observe things mostly. I don't really like to draw attention to myself."

"Yeah…and you like Russian literature," Rowan grinned.

"It's good!" Regulus insisted.

"Don't get offended…but I thought you'd be…louder, more cocky I guess."

"You thought I'd be arrogant and big headed because I'm a Black?" Regulus shrewdly asked.

"Yeah…"

"I don't blame you. A lot of my family members are very proud. We're very old fashioned, highly traditional…that's why Sirius never really got along I guess."

"You and him are very different in some ways, but very similar in other ways. But I suppose that's natural cos you're brothers."

"I bet he's told you lot that I'm some gigantic prick whose an arrogant little berk whose obsessed with Dark Lord." Regulus said.

"No. He doesn't really talk about you that much to be honest," Rowan replied quietly.

"Oh." Regulus fell silent.

"I don't think you're arrogant or a prick." She added.

"I'm not." Regulus assured her.

"But…can I assume you're a death eater?" Rowan asked hesitantly.

He didn't say anything for a moment. "Yeah you can assume that."

Rowan felt a fleeting stab of disappointment go through her. Of course he would be a Death Eater, she knew that, but a small, small part of her wanted to believe that he wasn't because…well…he was a decent bloke from what she gleaned from her interactions with him.

"How long have you been here?" she abruptly changed the subject.

"Since you were brought here which was about…twelve hours or so…"

"You've been here for twelve hours?" Rowan asked shocked.

"Yeah…."

"Mate you need to go to bed!" she exclaimed and then winced as she felt pain shoot through her ribs as she adjusted herself.

"I slept here and there," Regulus waved a hand.

"Ah good to see you're up. You need to take a fresh dose of these potions," Madame Pompfrey came over armed with a tray full of goblets. Rowan made a face.

Regulus stretched and got to his feet. "Well. I just wanted to see that you were okay. You're gonna be in here for a couple of days I've heard….so…"

"So…thank you. For everything. Really." Rowan said sincerely.

"Sure. See you around." Regulus nodded at her and stood up to gather up his things. Before leaving he paused by her and said, "Do me a great big favour and try not to self-implode or try and get an adrenaline rush by playing between the lines between Death and Life you know? Some of us don't exactly want to go grey earlier," he grumbled. At this Rowan had to smile, even though it was painful.

"You know, with me being a Slytherin and all that junk, I try not to make it a habit to play the hero. That's what you lot are for," he added with a note of amusement in his eyes. This time she chuckled. He could be quite funny when he wanted to she thought as she he walk away. Then she turned her attention to Madam Pomfrey.

"So….how long am I in here for?"

"Two days at least,"

Rowan groaned.

* * *

"Where is she?"

"How long has she been out?"

"_Where is she?_ How come no one tells us anything in this bloody place?"

Rowan cracked an eye open and made a face as she heard a bunch of commotion. Then she winced as the source of commotion came closer to her.

"'llo there," Rowan smiled weakly.

James and Sirius glared at her. James lightly poked her forehead with his wand and she swatted it away with her hand.

"Rowan Forlani I swear to god I could murder you," James growled plunking his butt down on a chair next to the bed. Sirius took a seat on her other side.

"And I'm going to help." Sirius added.

Rowan sighed and slid down further into the bed.

"What the bloody hell happened?" James demanded.

"What do you think?" Rowan retorted.

"Rowan… seriously…you have to be careful. You really ought to have someone around you when you're off tinkering!"

"Oh yeah and then two of us will land up in the Hospital Wing, yeah that's exactly what I want to do," Rowan cynically replied.

Sirius rolled his eyes. "What were you trying to do?"

"Practising some spell. Magical accidents happen you know."

"But what were you trying to do? Were you trying to transform something? Conjure something? What?" Sirius persisted.

"Not telling." Rowan grumpily answered. She folded her arms across her chest.

For a moment the three of them didn't speak, instead glaring at each other. Then James sighed loudly and drew a bar of chocolate from his pocket. "Remus sends you this,"

Her eyes lit up and she unwrapped the bar of chocolate giddily. "Where is he?"

"He's feeling peaky. That time of the month is coming up this week so he's sleeping."

"Aw, poor Remus. What about my roommates? Why aren't they here giving me grief for my unbelievable levels of stupidity?"

"They'll be down here later. They'll bring your homework. We brought your books. You've missed two and half days of classes and the teachers aren't cutting you any slack cos of NEWTs…"

"Of course they wouldn't. So, give me your worst. What do we have?" Rowan briskly clapped her hands.

"Ok…we have essays due in Charms, Defense Against the Dark Arts, Transfiguration…Villa wants numerological dream charts in Arithmancy and apparently you need to do an essay about Eastern Alchemic Philosophy in Alchemy whatever the hell that means…and oh. An essay on the mechanics of the airplane for Muggle Studies." James prattled off consulting a piece of parchment as Sirius dropped the books on her table.

"Guys you brought me homework! I thought Lily and Marlene was going to do that." Rowan exclaimed.

"We _listed_ your homework. We brought your books. Lily and Marlene will bring you your thing to _DO_ your homework." Sirius corrected. Rowan groaned.

"You guys are just _so_ helpful. Hand me my muggle studies book would ya Sirius?"

"Here,"

"So anything else happen in the last few days?"

"Caradoc exploded his cauldron in potions again," James said. Sirius sniggered.

"And…oh Sirius here caused Wilkes' pants to come undone and drop to the floor during dinner last night."

Sirius smirked. That was a good one.

"Well done Sirius. Embarrassing, but not malicious. Not a bad way to slowly get back at that dunderhead…but I wish you'd just beat the crap out of him." Rowan said.

"I'll have to wait until after we're done with school then."

"Oh. That means I'll have to wait until school ends too to rearrange Neufield's face…holy mother of Merlin I hate that girl."

"Yes. We know."

"A third year asked Sirius out to the Winter Formal…" James continued. Rowan burst out laughing.

"Oh my god. Really?"

"Hey don't be like that. She was very nice—"

"Oh good lord, you said yes?" Rowan interrupted horrified.

"No! I just said she was nice, and I was very flattered but I politely declined. She took it well." Sirius added.

"And then she tried to ambush him from behind a tapestry then next day," James promptly finished.

Rowan laughed even harder. "Oh good lord. Sucks to be you sometimes."

"Yeah…it wasn't so fun running away from her," Sirius shook his head.

"Mate, you can't handle girls for shit. I don't know why they go all gaga over you!" James snorted.

"I feel like we just had a dance…now the Winter Formal is coming up? Wow time goes by fast." Rowan sighed.

"Yeah and we have to get all dressed up fancy shmancy." Sirius grumbled.

"But at least you look good dressed up nicely! You don't look ridiculous at all, in fact I think you look even better when you lot are all dressed up." Rowan said earnestly. James and Sirius beamed at her.

"Thanks. Any idea who you're going with?" James asked her.

"Not one little clue. Either I'll go stag, or if Remus is feeling bummed out cos of Marlene, then maybe I'll go with him to keep him company. Other than that, I don't have any one in mind and I don't want anyone to be honest." Rowan said resolutely.

"Good luck on fielding all the guys asking you out then," Sirius sniggered. She looked at him annoyed.

"Yeah blokes were already asking proxy invites through us…Tommy Wilkinson from Hufflepuff asked us to tell you that he was interested…Lucas Ballack from Ravenclaw also passed on a message…" James said before Rowan held up a hand.

"Stop. And don't even go on. Mate I'm going stag that's it. Or better yet tell them I already have a date but it's a secret."

James started laughing. "Rowan you are so stubborn."

"I'm just saving my time and energy by not wasting anyone's time. Especially since I'm not interested in any of these blokes."

"ARE you interested by anyone at the moment?" James asked bluntly. Rowan just looked at him.

"_Pa ha_ no. Like I said, there's no one whose really caught my interest. Everyone but you four are boring!"

"Would you ever date any of us, theoretically speaking?" James asked interested. Sirius leaned forward at this and looked at her intrigued.

She shrugged. "Depends. If you lot and I weren't such good friends…I won't lie. I would date you. All of you blokes are ten's in my book..well Peter's a nine but that's still good. Maybe Remus. Yeah in a parallel universe I could see myself with Remus," Rowan said frankly.

"What about me?" James indignantly said.

"You dolt, did you not hear what I said? If I didn't know you so well, then yes, but the problem here is that I do; you and I are too much alike! We're like brother and sister. It'd be weird." She told him. James harrumphed.

"'Course this is all theoretical...as in divination standard theoretical which means the chance of this actually happening is very, very slim…but what about me?" Sirius asked wanting to know.

Rowan thought for a moment. "I dunno. Maybe. But we both have tempers and I don't know how well that would work out in the long run. To be honest I'd be a little exhausted putting up with all the attention girls give you. It'd annoy me and I don't like being jealous. That's not nice."

Of course this was all theoretical talk. They all knew this and they were just amusing themselves. But for some reason, Sirius felt a wave of regret wash over him when she said this.

"Why would you be jealous? You're plenty beautiful Rowan," Sirius said without thinking. James shot him a look. Rowan however remained composed.

"Thanks but still. All girls feel a little annoyed when their boyfriends get so much attention from other chicks. And I don't know. I never really thought about you and I ever dating in a parallel universe. I'm too busy trying to make sure you make it through the day's lessons without throwing yourself off the Astronomy Tower," she teased.

"Haha, and I'm too busy making sure you go through the day without blowing yourself up," Sirius replied dryly.

* * *

James watched Sirius and Rowan very carefully over the next fortnight or so and thought his suspicions that his best mate liked his other best mate became more than just suspicions. He had no idea what to make it of it though.

"Something bothering you love?" Lily asked surprising him one evening.

"Jesus!" James exclaimed and nearly toppled off the couch he was stretched on.

Lily giggled and sank onto the couch. James rejoined her and she laid her head down on his lap.

James ran his fingers through her locks and slid the elastic out of it letting her hair out its usual pony tail. He started to absent mindedly braid it and Lily smiled. She stretched her arms upwards and placed her hands gently on both cheeks, bringing his face closer to hers.

"Kiss me," she commanded and James complied more than willingly. He kissed her slowly and luxuriously, taking his time and enjoying their kisses. Lily sighed and shifted her position so she sat up and faced him, wrapping her arms around his neck. James felt tingly feeling run all over him when she began kissing his neck and biting down on a particular spot which drove him bonkers.

It was a very good thing that they were the only ones in the Common Room right now, a rare occurrence because the heat between turned up quite drastically and Lily had to control herself and she regretfully broke away from him after several long moments dedicated to kissing and teasing.

"You're very good at this," she told him solemnly. James chuckled and kissed her again.

"And you're very pretty when you're all red," he replied causing her to flush even more.

James sat back and drew Lily closer to him and she curled into his side. She enjoyed the warmth his body radiated off onto her and felt like she could probably revel in this particular feeling for a long, long time. Her eyes stared into the fireplace, watching the flames crackle cheerfully.

"I think Padfoot fancies Rowan," James blurted out.

Lily looked at him. "Pardon?"

"I think Sirius fancies Rowan," he repeated.

"Really now?"

"I've seen him looking at her more than usual…I dunno. I can't really explain it, but I just have this feeling…" He mused thoughtfully.

"I dunno. Rowan and Sirius? That'd be…"

"…Interesting?" James said helpfully.

"I was going to say "a sight to see" but interesting works too," Lily tittered.

James fell quiet for another moment. "Do you think it'd ever work out between them?"

Lily shrugged. "Dunno. They're very good as mates, but…" she brooded for a moment. "Yeah. I think if they ever went out with each other, I think they'd be good for each other."

"Why?"

She looked at him curiously. James clarified, "I mean, I think they'd be good for each other too, but I want to know your reasons,"

"Oh. Well. Both of them…they challenge each other. And in some ways they're complete opposites. Sirius is so grounded in reality, always looking at things in the practical light, taking in things and dealing with them. Rowan…she's always looking up at the sky, she sees the potential in everything, she's so high up in her ideas that Sirius, all of us for that matter, we keep her tethered to reality. But for Sirius, Rowan…she helps him dream. She helps us all dream. She helps us realise that there's so much more out there."

James smiled. "Yeah she really does. Sometimes it scares me that she never seems to be thinking about the concrete reality in front of her, but bless her for having the ability to see things that we can't see yet."

"Exactly. Rowan always has the knack to see things that others have yet to see. And she helps us see these things sooner, rather than later."

"You make a very astute point Lily Evans,"

"That's what I do," she affirmed.

"She's the one who talked you into your crazy cross country trip over the States right?"

"She and Jack Kerouac's _On the Road_. I dunno James. I just…want to go. I want to let loose and take off. Remember how you had a slight mad cap breakdown and started jumping up and down in the air yelling that I'm the most serious person in the world?"

"And all that blahblahblah. Yeah I do. I fell over a chair," James said ruefully. Lily laughed. "Yeah but you were so right! I've always seemed to have this huge stick shoved up my arse and I'm trying to get rid of that. You and Rowan, you two help me with that."

"Yet another great reason to go out with me!" James said brightly. Lily turned her face into his shoulder and laughed.

"Yes one of the few," she quipped.

"Hey…."

"Just yanking you around, I adore you," Lily smacked a kiss on his lips and he grinned.

"But yeah, I'm really quite excited about this trip…I've never gone out of England before…or gone or been anywhere really."

"I'll take you," James replied instantly.

"Where?"

"Everywhere. Where do you wanna go? Spain? Paris? Morocco? We'll go to Rome, Sydney. Brazil. Wherever you want to go," he smiled.

"All those places sound delightful. Like I said. I've never been anywhere before. I've never even ridden a broom properly."

"_What_?" James exclaimed shocked. He looked at her incredulously.

"Yeap…" she sighed. "I've never even really ridden on a broom before. When the flying lessons are held in the first year I was sick in the Hospital Wing. And you know, my parents are muggles…so I don't really have the money to drop on a broomstick."

"Get up," James said shortly already jumping to his feet.

"Pardon?"

"Get up, get up, get up!" James said impatiently. He solved the matter himself and tugged at her hands effectively bringing her to her feet.

"What now?"

"Stay here!" He dashed up the Boys Staircase and Lily gaped at him. What the hell had gotten into him now?

He reappeared after a few minutes, bundled up, with his broom in hand. He threw some extra jumpers at her and said, "JUMPER UP! You are going to see the sky tonight!"

Half a dozen arguments ran through Lily's head but she thought of what she had said earlier, that James helped her to just let go, and be less rigid in her ways. _Don't think. Just do_, Rowan often said when explaining how she got into so many scrapes.

Ok. So the logic was flawed and Rowan ended up in detention and the Hospital Wing many times. Many, _many_ times. But in some cases, the logic would work.

_Don't think. Just let it go_, Lily amended the logic.

"Ok lets go!" she said excitedly shoving the jumpers over her head. James' mouth split into a wide grin and he grabbed her hand, half running towards the Portrait Hole. Lily felt the familiar rush of excitement she felt whenever something magical was going to happen and a wide smile of her own broke out on her face.

* * *

"Good god it's cold," Lily shivered.

"I know baby but it'll be worth it. Ok. Get on." James instructed already sitting on the broom.

"Just like that?" Lily asked sceptically.

"Yeah, it's like riding a bike or a horse or whatever," he explained.

Lily followed in suit and he looked behind her, "Hold on tight now okay?"

"Don't let me fall," she warned.

"Never," he vowed. He felt her arms wrap around his waist tightly and he kicked his feet off the ground and Lily felt the air swoosh around her and saw the ground becoming smaller and smaller.

"WHOAAAAAA!" she shrieked in pure delight. James echoed her sentiment and laughed as he flew higher and higher.

They zoomed around the Quidditch pitch, and James skimmed one of the hoops closer enough for Lily to actually stretch out her hand and touched it, shivering at the cool metal.

He then took off for a lap around the entire caste where he circled the Astronomy Tower and Lily lifted her big eyes and saw the stars twinkle merrily down at them and had never felt so free before. Now she understood why James and Sirius were crazy about flying and Quidditch. Flying was _wonderful_.

It was freezing and she felt as if she had been melded to James' body but she did not care. She gasped when James did a loop in the air and felt the same thrill she had felt when she went on a roller coaster.

"You're very good at this too!" she yelled in his ear.

"Thanks!" he shouted back as they flew over the lake. Lily stared at the water below them, mesmerized how the moonlight bounced off its surface. Everything seemed so lovely and surreal.

James took them another couple of laps around the Castle and the grounds and she reveled in the feeling of feeling so light. Flying really was magical.

Too soon, Lily thought, James flew back to the Quidditch pitch and started descending to the ground. He gently came to a stop and landed on the ground gracefully.

"So what'd ya think?" he asked leaning against his broom.

"Now I understand why you love Quidditch so much. I loved it! Flying…being in the air…it's amazing!" she said fervently wishing she was in the air.

"When the weather warms up, I'll take you up in the air again. You'd like it a lot more with the sun on you," he assured her.

"I'm going to hold you to that James! I can't wait to be in the air again. Thank you. Really. So much." Lily said earnestly wrapping her arms around his neck.

"Your welcome," he said feeling happy. He was pleased to see her so thrilled over such a small thing.

"So…Paris, Rome…Sydney. Will you take me there too?" Lily asked after kissing him.

"Anywhere you want to go Lily, I'll take you. I'll take you everywhere," he replied lifting his eyes to the inky night skies thinking of all the possibilities, places and potential he had yet to see.

* * *

_A/N: Can anyone catch the reference to one of my all time favourite groups, The Chemical Brothers? If you can, cheers! **Reviews are loved. xoxoxo**_


	20. Shifting Perceptions

_A/N: Hooray this fic just reached 100 reviews! Thank you so much for your amazing support and reviews, it really makes the scribbling out the next chapters a lot easier. I hope everyone is doing well. Enjoy! And remember if you lot of have any questions or comments don't hesitate to let me know.  
_

* * *

The castle was beginning to look increasingly festive as December continued. Streams of holly were wound around the banisters, twelve magnificent Christmas streams were stationed in the Great Hall that twinkled with fairy lights and elegant baubles and unfortunately for Sirius, there was an abundance of mistletoe. Rowan laughed her head off at this seeing him trying to evade kissing some random girl who just happened to be stationed the mistletoe at the time.

"I'm sorry mate, but it's just bloody funny seeing you duck around the corridors and as if you're a secret spy for the KGB or something," Rowan said referring to the notorious secret police of the USSR who held her country in an iron grip.

"The who?" Sirius asked eyeing the empty corridor warily before darting out and walking very fast. Rowan jogged to keep up with him. They were off to Arithmancy lessons.

"The KGB. Stinking filthy scums—" Rowan stopped herself before realising that there was no big brother here at Hogwarts and they wouldn't be swooping down on her. "Scums of the earth they are, basically arresting people for BREATHING,"

"The _who_?" Sirius repeated.

"The stupid secret police," Rowan grumbled she flung out an arm effectively stopping Sirius. "Slow down would ya? I'm gonna look like I just rolled out of bed at the rate we're going,"

"You DID just roll out of your bed," Sirius rolled his eyes.

"Ah yes but Konstatin doesn't need to know that does he?" Rowan attempted to smooth down her hair some more.

"Morning Sirius!" a flirtatious voice called out. Sirius inwardly groaned. Then he put on a smile and looked at the source of the voice.

"Morning," he replied to the girl. He had not the faintest clue who she was. Had he ever seen this girl before?

"Mistletoe," she giggled pointed to one that was nearly right above them. Sirius nearly jumped a foot back.

"Oh! Well. It's a good thing that my girlfriend—", he grabbed Rowan's hand who looked at him bewildered. "Is here with me,"

"What—" Rowan began only to be cut off by him.

"Look at that love, mistletoe, c'mere," Sirius said yanking Rowan closer to him. The girl looked disappointed.

"Didn't know you were seeing each someone Sirius, usually the school kind of knows about you and your relationship status," the girl said frankly.

Rowan stifled the urge to roll her eyes. It was a true testament to how much crazy the females the schools were if the girls in school didn't know about his "Relationship Status." _God_, it was like he was some bloody celebrity.

Girls were pathetic, she decided. And the majority of the female population except for Lily and Marlene gave women all over the world a sore reputation.

"Oh erm, well, we've been keeping it relatively quiet. It's still new," Sirius hurriedly said.

"Oh! Well…okay then. Have a nice day you two and happy holidays," the girl said before moving past them. However upon looking back she shot Rowan the stink eye and Rowan stuck her tongue out at her.

Sirius dropped her hand abruptly and raked it through his hair. She turned and looked at him with an unamused expression. "Mate I'm going to kill you. You're not going to know when, or know how, but mate you're dead meat."

"Funny that you say that since you're the vegetarian," Sirius quipped. She whapped him with her bookbag.

"Ugh Sirius you're impossible,"

"You couldn't live without me," Sirius breezily replied swinging an arm around her. Rowan shrugged it off and stomped off ahead of him.

"I'm pretty sure I can mate. Can't you just man up the next time some girl tries to ambush you under the mistletoe and just tell the girl 'NO'?" Rowan called out from behind her.

"No cos I'm a world class prat remember and I enjoy making your life miserable." Sirius cheekily replied.

"Up yours Black! Up yours!" Rowan said laughing a little bit.

"You're not supposed to laugh when you say that,"

"Oh shaddup,"

* * *

Funnily enough no other girls did try to bother him when it came to the mistletoe the rest of the day. Nor the day after, or the day after that. Sirius nearly breathed a sigh of relief.

But of course, all good things must come to and end. And his came rather abruptly unfortunately.

Several girls gave him wistful stares as he breezed through the Great Hall one night for dinner and he glanced around him as he slid into his seat. James noticed this and raised an eyebrow.

"Something's a bit off mate," James remarked.

"Yeah…it feels odd. Where's the red-head?" Sirius asked referring to Lily.

"Coming I suppose. My whole world doesn't always revolve around her ya know?"

"Really?_ Really_?" Sirius dryly replied. James flicked a pea at him.

"Mate…did you and Rowan have a fight?" Remus asked warily as he watched Rowan storm down the aisle with murder written on her face.

"Nooooooo, why do you ask?"

"'Cos she looks like—"

"OUCH!" Sirius cried as Rowan slammed his head face down on the table.

"Like she's going to kill you." Remus finished. James gawked at his mate.

"Remember when I said I was going to kill you? Well guess what mate, today is your lucky day." Rowan growled. Sirius winced and raised his head.

"What'd I do?" he asked bewildered.

"YOU TOLD EVERYONE THAT I WAS YOUR GIRLFRIEND!" She shouted.

James started sniggering and Remus bit back a laugh.

"ROWAN FORLANI!" Another voiced yelled. Wearily Rowan turned around and saw Marlene running up to her. Marlene slapped her lightly on the back of the head.

"What was that for!"

"How dare you not tell your own goddamn roommate about this important development in your life, that you, are going out with Sirius?" Marlene demanded.

Rowan clapped her hands to her head. "NO! NO, I'm not going out with him! See Sirius! This is what you've done!" she shouted.

"WHOA everyone calm down!" James said loudly waving his hands. Everybody looked at him.

"Padfoot, Rowan, kindly explain yourself. And by god if this is true then Padfoot I'm going to kill you."

"For what?"

"For not telling me!"

"Christ people I'm not going out with Rowan. I only said because I got ambushed under the mistletoe for the thousandth time a couple of days ago, Rowan was there and I just said that she was my girlfriend just to save my arse."

"Mate how stupid _are_ you?" Remus asked amazed. Rowan shot him a grateful look.

"What?" Sirius asked annoyed.

"You're YOU. You're like a mini celebrity, if you say something like that, then people assume that it's true and it spreads like wildfire! No wonder all these girls are looking at you as if someone had just died." James shook his head.

"I despise you." Rowan snarled tugging a plate towards her. Marlene laughed and sat down next to her.

"I'm sorry. I'll make it up to you." Sirius said.

"How?"

"Like this," Sirius promptly said standing up on his seat. He waved his arms and yelled "HEY! _HEY_!"

James waved his wand and a loud bang sounded. The students fell quiet and the girls whispered upon seeing the infamous Sirius Black standing up before them.

The professors who were dining however, did not look amused.

"CAN I HAVE EVERYONE'S ATTENTION? GOOD!" Sirius yelled.

"I'D JUST LIKE TO SET THINGS STRAIGHT, THIS GIRL HERE AND I," Sirius pointed his finger down at Rowan who flushed and slid down her seat.

"ARE **_NOT_** GOING OUT! THANK YOU AND YOU CAN RESUME YOUR DINNER." Sirius sat down and Rowan slid completely out of her seat and hid underneath the table.

The Slytherins looked at him unimpressed and began talking amongst each other. However the majority of the female population looked greatly relieved.

"Well done mate. Way to be a huge egotistical git," Remus gave him a salute. Sirius grinned.

"Get up Rowan,"

"No, my dignity has been compromised beyond relief," a muffled reply came. Marlene tisked and patted her on the head.

"Come on Ro," Sirius coaxed.

Her head emerged and she resumed her seat. She looked at him coldly and then picked up her goblet of water. With a deft flick of her wrist Sirius was suddenly soaked with cold water.

"Big lumphead," she said crisply before getting up and stomping away from the dinner table.

Sirius sighed and grabbed a napkin. Wiping his face he gazed after her and swore.

"Mate sometimes you're reaaaaalllly dumb." James said.

"Not helpful!"

"Just saying,"

"The obvious," Remus added.

Sirius glared at him and threw a breadroll at them. Unfortunately for him, McGonagall passed by them at that exact moment and said, "Five points from Gryffindor Mr. Black, and detention tomorrow night for your public announcement tonight."

"Yes Professor," Sirius answered tiredly. Once she left, Sirius swore again and ran a hand down his face.

"Mate, kill me now. Just please kill me now," he told James.

"I'll let Rowan have the pleasure of doing that," James replied returning to his dinner.

* * *

Rowan was in a thunderous mood for the next couple of days and Sirius did his best to steer clear of her. He knew that if he tried to apologize now she'd lop his head off.

She glared at her essay and sat back and rubbed her eyes. It was half past one in the morning and she was tired, frustrated, cold and hungry. She couldn't concentrate any more.

What she really felt, for the first time, in a long while, was tired. Physically tired. Her eyelids felt tired. Her eyeballs felt tired. She wanted to sleep so badly but she didn't know if her bloody body would let her.

Rowan wanted to scream. She just felt so….augh she couldn't find the words to describe how she felt right now.

It must be the stress of studying that must be getting to her finally.

She threw down her quill and got up stretching her arms overhead. Rowan rolled her shoulders and exhaled.

Rowan threw herself on the couch and shut her eyes. Her mind still whirled a million kilometers an hour.

She was so caught up in her thoughts she didn't even register the extra weight that was added on the couch. Then she felt someone smooth a finger over her brow.

Goosebumps erupted on her skin and her eyes flew open. Sirius's face registered and she inwardly sighed.

"Hey," he said softly.

"Hi,"

"Do you want an early Christmas pressie?"

"What?"

"I said, do you want an early Christmas present?" he repeated.

"Sirius what the hell are you prattling on about?"

"Just say 'yes' damnit,"

"Okay, 'yes',"

"Brilliant, c'mon, get up," Sirius stretched out a hand and tugged at her arm.

"Oh man Sirius, this better be good." Rowan warned him getting to her feet.

"It is, trust me,"

Sirius led her towards the Portrait Hole, but stopped her just before getting out.

"Here, come under this," Sirius slipped something silvery, fluid over her and she glanced around her.

"What's this?"

"James' invisibility cloak," Sirius replied quietly exiting out of the Portrait Hole.

"Whoa, he has one of these?"

"Uh _duh_,"

"Sorry, these things are really rare."

"Yeah…"

Throughout the long walk down to their destination, Sirius was suddenly struck by how distracted at how close Rowan was to him, and the times where she placed her hand on his chest or came even closer to him due to the fact that with two people underneath the cloak, those people had to be closer together in order to be properly covered.

This was a new feeling.

"Where are you taking me?" her breath tickled his ear.

"Here," he whispered finally stopping.

They stopped and Rowan carefully rose the cloak above her and looked up. She saw a giant pear.

"Why are we in the standing outside of a big arse pear?" she asked exasperated.

"For this," Sirius replied tickling the giant pear.

* * *

Pancakes.

Sirius brought her to have pancakes, as a late, late dinner or an early, early breakfast.

Rowan grinned and poured maple syrup over her stack of pancakes and took a great whiff. It smelled so good.

"This has got to be the best early Christmas present ever mate,"

"And an apology all rolled into one," Sirius added.

She raised a carefully plucked eyebrow. "Oh really?"

"Yeah. Ro, I'm sorry for being such a git and putting you in that mess."

"Seriously Sirius you need to man up and just be a bastard and stop being polite to these twits." She grumbled.

Sirius chuckled and took a bite of his Belgian waffle.

"Yeah I know. Niceness."

"Barf." She said shortly.

"But I am sorry. Truly." He repeated sincerely.

Rowan softened and smiled grudgingly at him. "Apology accepted. You know what my weaknesses are."

"Pancakes and the allure of the unknown," Sirius promptly replied.

This time she tipped back her head and laughed. Sirius appreciated how her soft her skin looked and then he mentally slapped himself. Where the heck were these thoughts coming from?

"Ahh yes, the great unknown. That and the fact that literally anything is possible."

"What's impossible?"

"Cheating death or coming back to life or being resurrected?" she said.

"Touche."

The pair of them sat for awhile enjoying their midnight (or rather 2 in the morning) breakfast, chatting and here and there Sirius realised that something had changed and he wasn't so sure if he liked the change.

He was starting to see her differently.

She was…this unknown factor, this mercurial little star that was always in beaming in his life.

Then he remembered what the lot of them had discussed about mates dating mates and how it could be a terrible, terrible idea. And Sirius inwardly winced at the sheer prospect of ruining his friendship with Rowan and never having her in his life completely.

Man life would be of the _suck_ without her.

However the possible sense of complete disaster didn't deter him from doing somewhat that was either very, very stupid or very, very, nice.

* * *

_A/N: Be good and review please! xoxoxo_


	21. Holiday Hell

_A/N: Thanks for your all support and reviews. I'm at the point in my writing in general where I'm feeling a little burned out and have been wanting to crawl into bed and pull the covers over me for a good while...sometimes the muses are evil and just hide the inspiration...anyhow. Here's the next chapter. Have a lovely weekend everyone!_

* * *

After carefully making their way back to the Portrait Hole under the protection of the invisibility cloak Rowan had wandered back to her study table and began to clear her things. Sirius watched her quietly for a moment and then came over started to neatly stack her notes.

He admired the elegant cursive handwriting.

"Hey Rowan,"

"Yea Sirius?"

"Remember how I asked you to come to the Halloween Ball, to go for fun as mates and generally not have to worry about other people?"

"Yeaaaaaaa,"

"Well would you like to be my date for the Winter Formal? C'mon, give me a break, let us go to ONE dance in our Hogwarts career as mates together."

"Aw man Sirius can't we just go alone and hang out together at the damn ball?" Rowan complained.

"But that's effectively going to the same stupid thing in the first place! Might as well just put the cat in the bag and go to this thing together."

She sighed and raked a hand through her hair. "Okay fine. But promise me you're not going to do anything outrageously stupid."

"Like what?"

"Like trying to slow dance to _Satuday Night Fever_?" Referring to the muggle film that they had watched one time in the theatre during a holiday. Sirius found the outfits in the film hilarious.

"Oh. Aw man c'mon it's fun. The songs are SO cheesy!"

"Sirius!"

"Okay okay, I won't do anything too stupid. But I make no guarantees," he warned.

"Fair enough. Can't get everything. And don't even think about trying to slide your clever hands anywhere. Otherwise I'll chop it off." She threatened, a smile on her face ruined it though.

"Duly noted."

* * *

"I HATE SHOPPING FOR GIRS!" James bellowed storming out a store.

"I hate shopping," Peter sighed.

"I hate shopping with _**you**_," Remus moaned tipping his head back and staring at the snow flakes falling down.

They were in Hogsmeade. It was Saturday afternoon and literally the entire school was in Hogsmeade enjoying time away from the Castle.

The Marauders however were experiencing a sort of personalized mini hell trying to accomplish their Christmas shopping.

"I don't know what to buy her! I don't know what to buy my mum! TELL ME WHAT TO BUY!" James demanded clutching Sirius by the shoulders bordering on the insane.

"Crotchless undies?" Sirius blurted out the first thing on his mind a little scared of how wild James' eyes were wheedling in his sockets.

"WHAT!" James shouted. Sirius covered his head in the event that James might start slapping him.

"SORRY! It just came out? Mate I'm just as stupid and clueless as you in this boat! We're oarsmen paddling the same sinking boat!" Sirius cried.

Remus and Peter sniggered and paused to look at a window display. "Jewellery?" Peter suggested.

"I would but we've only been going out for…" James counted on his fingers and Sirius snorted. "Two and half months? More or less?"

"But you've been in love with her for four years," Remus reminded him. "I think that should count for some months. Like four. Or five."

"Remus as much as I appreciate your input, what if Lily doesn't find this track of thinking factual? I don't want to scare her off."

"Have you seen how lovey dovey you two are?" Peter scoffed.

"No. Most of the time I'm busy trying to distract her from studying her books so she could study _me_," James huffed. Sirius let out a bark like laugh.

"Mate that's not a good thing," Sirius teased.

"Think of what she's into. What does she like?" Peter pressed him.

"Reading."

"Get a her first edition book?" Remus suggested.

"Mooney, do I look like a can buy a first edition book of something?" James looked at him.

"Yes!" Sirius replied flicking James lightly on the forehead.

"Shaddup. Where am I going to find a first edition book of something? Next idea please!"

"Clothes?" Remus contributed.

James wrinkled his nose.

"Rainbow coloured changing ink?" Sirius said eyeing a pot that was on display in a store.

"She's Lily, not Rowan." James reminded.

"Right. Well I'm going to get it for Ro then," Sirius decided tramping into the shop.

The boys continued to muck around fruitlessly for a while. Poor James was at his wit's end in regards to finding a Christmas gift for his girlfriend.

"That looks nice," Remus commented passing by an antique/junk shop. The lads stopped and peered into the window display.

"What does?"

"That box thingy," Remus pointed.

"Oh! Yeah it does. Let's go take a looksie."

"Looksie? Really Prongs?" Sirius said in disbelief.

James rolled his eyes and shoved Sirius into the shop.

* * *

Whistling quietly Sirius took a scan of the store. It was filled to the brim with junk. Or antiques. Depends on how you look at it.

James inquired about the box in the display and Remus and Peter had flocked towards a display of assorted pots and ceramics. Sirius quirked an eyebrow. He didn't know Peter liked...pottery.

Sirius found himself wandering about and stopped by a glass display of jewellery. He pause and took a brief moment to appraise the things in there.

Man there was so some ugly jewellery. The fact that some person had worn it, in public, was astonishing. Some were such eyesores.

However, here and there Sirius found a nice looking piece and thought if he was a girl, he might wear it. Then he mentally face palmed himself at this thoughts and shook his head.

Then something caught his eye that made him bend down closer to look at it.

He had been looking for something else to give to Rowan for Christmas. He wanted something a little bit more special cos it was their last Christmas in Hogwarts and plus, well, it was Rowan and as each day passed he found himself increasingly thinking more and more about what it would be like to kiss her.

It wasn't as if he liked or fancied her or anything.

He was just merely curious about her that's all.

That was normal. He was a bloke. She was a girl. They were friends. It was natural to be curious.

And even more common to actually act on those curious thoughts. People did those kinds of things all the time!

Sirius snapped out of his thoughts and studied the necklace more closely.

It was a circular, psychedelic designed pendent silver and delicate, but with a blue stone in the middle of it that shone dully. With a little polishing up and some magic it could shine brilliantly.

He was irresistibly reminded of her own bright blue eyes.

That did it.

He had to buy it for her.

Feeling happy with his find Sirius and the boys left the shop feeling better than they had when they had entered. James had a sweet musical jewellery box in hand that would make a nice gift to Lily, ( he hoped. Remus and Sirius had assured him that it would and if it didn't, then she was an idiot.)

"Whatcha buy for Ro?" Peter asked as they made their way to the Three Broomsticks.

"Nothin much. A necklace." Sirius casually replied.

James and Remus halted in their tracks and looked at him. Puzzled he raised his shoulders. "What?"

"Padfoot…you bought her jewellery?" Remus asked disbelievingly.

"Yeaaahhhh so?"

"She's your mate!" James said exasperated.

"So?"

"So! That's…I dunno. Be careful," James warned.

"Jesus what is it with you and Rowan man? I'm her mate too! I care for her." Sirius huffed.

"That's my point." James replied darkly. Remus shot him a look and Peter sighed.

"You guys are acting spotty. What's going on?" Sirius narrowed his eyes collapsing on a chair.

"Nothing…"

"TELL ME!" Sirius stamped his foot.

"Fine. We just catch you….looking at her a lot. And hanging out a lot with her late at night." Remus sighed.

"So? She's an insomniac, half the time I can't sleep either! We like to hang out at night." Sirius said defensively.

"Are you sure you're not mistaking making out with hanging out?" Peter said before he could stop himself.

Sirius glared at him. Sparks could have shot out his eyes.

"Just what the fuck are you getting on about?" Sirius said coolly.

"You look at her a lot," James began.

"Well SHE'S PRETTY!" Sirius said loudly before James continued, " And sometimes we can't help but think that…you fancy her."

Sirius ran a hand over his face. "Well you're dead wrong Prongs. She's my mate and god knows we'd make a terrible couple with us being all temperamental and half the time she's going to cause herself to self implode…"

"I think you guys would make a nice couple," Peter objected. The boys looked at him. He shrugged. "What? I'm allowed to have my opinions too!"

"That you are but, really? Padfoot and Rowan?" James wrinkled his noise even though he privately agreed with him but did not know how he felt his almost sister snogging his best friend.

"it wouldn't be so ridiculous James. Remember what she said, some relationships come out of the friendships and they're the best ones. Besides, they're both good looking so aesthetically speaking, they'd make a pretty picture." Remus said bordering the line of gentle teasing.

"Shaddup. I don't fancy her. Besides, I'm just stating the obvious when I say she's fit." Sirius said annoyed. He took a swig of his butterbeer and stared out of the snow-covered window clearly irritated.

* * *

Whilst the marauders were busy teasing Sirius, the girls were going through a trying experience trying to find a formal dress for the the Winter Formal.

Or rather, Rowan was going through a trying experience.

"I HATE DRESS SHOPPING!" she roared stomping flat-footed out of yet another dress shop.

Marlene laughed and Lily rolled her eyes following her. "Relax would ya? You'll find one!"

"LOOK WHOSE TALKING! You've already found two! Tell me again what are you going to do with the second one?" Rowan demanded.

"Wear it on some other occasion I guess. They were having a sale!" Marlene defended.

"C'mon let's go take a look at that shop." Lily sighed pushing Rowan in the direction of yet another dress shop.

"Why I can't I just wear the dress I wore last year? Or better yet the dress I wore two years ago?" Rowan griped shoving dresses aside as she searched.

"Do you still fit in them?" Lily asked.

"'Course I do. Why wouldn't?"

"'Cos you're not fifteen anymore?"

"Unfortunately for me, I have not grown any taller or any bigger in any areas since fifteen. No, wait, actually fourteen." Rowan grumbled referring to her small stature.

Marlene tittered a bit and then showed her a deep purple dress. Rowan stared at it.

"It has a bow." She said stating the obvious.

"So?"

"It's a big bow."

"And?"

"It's a really big, big bow!"

"Your point?"

"ROWAN DOESN'T DO BOWS!" Rowan threw up her hands in the air.

"You're impossible." Marlene hung the dress back up.

"God. Sirius doesn't give two flying fucks for what I wear. I could come in a towel and he'd be happy I bet." Rowan continued to grouse.

""Course he would. He's Sirius. He's a boy." Lily snorted.

"What does he have to do with your dress shopping?" Marlene inquired a little confused.

"Nothing. We're just going to the formal together." Rowan replied studying another dress.

"YOU'RE WHAT?" Lily screeched. Several other girls looked at her queerly and she blushed.

"We're going to the ball together. It's not a big deal girls. We're going as mates. For once I think he doesn't want to worry about his date ambushing him or something."

"Going as mates?" Marlene asked sceptically.

"Yeah…why does that sound so impossible to you lot?"

"'Cos it's Sirius."

"So?"

"He's Sirius! He just has this weird, doppler affect on all girls." Lily waved a hand.

"He never had an effect on you," Rowan pointed out.

"Well, erm, I might have had a fleeting crush on him way back in the fourth year," Lily blushed. Rowan laughed.

"Oh me, too. Even now I have a little crush on him," Marlene sighed.

"You have a boyfriend, so do you!" Rowan pointed a finger at them.

"I have an aesthetic crush. An appreciation if you will, a fine, _fine_ appreciation for that boy's look," Marlene answered fondly.

"He's not a piece of expensive cheese or wine," Rowan defended her mate.

"I can't believe you two are going." Lily shook her head.

"What? Why? Why is this so ridiculous?" Rowan asked glancing critically at a grey, silvery dress.

"It's not ridiculous. It's just the fact that it's Sirius. And well you're you. And I don't know. I don't know what I'm talking about." Lily rambled.

Rowan shook her head and looked at the dress once more. It had some terrible ruffles in places that didn't appeal to her, but she liked the fabric, it was slippery, smooth, and she liked the colour.

The dress had potential. It just needed a little tinkering with. Like most things in life.

* * *

_A/N: Raise your hand if you've experienced a similar hell when shopping for your friends or significant other? Both of my hands are raised. Ok now I'm off to go crawl under the covers for awhile. See if I can find my inspiration again. **I'd really love if you could review or share some of your thoughts. xoxoxo**_


	22. Conversations

_A/N: Thanks for your all your support and reviews. I really appreciate them as they help me keep writing even when my head tells me otherwise. :)_

* * *

As the holidays drew nearer and nearer, the castle became more festive and light-hearted. The only exception were the fifth and seventh year students who felt the pressure being mounted even more so for their exams.

Every year the Winter Formal was held the last weekend before the holidays started, which left students who returned home for the holidays to take the train on Sunday afternoon.

Rowan was never really too keen on dances or formal things. It took too much time and energy. Lily and Marlene had always been more girly than her in this aspect and took great pleasure in keeping up with fashion trends, make-up and hairstyles. While Rowan could appreciate looking nice and put together for the most part, she didn't like the fuss and feathers that usually came with it.

That being said it was a little paradoxical because she had a myriad of piercings and worse a stack of thin silver bangles that tinkled softly whenever she moved. Once upon a time they used to jangle quite loudly but during her fifth year James she put a Silencing Charm on them. Now her bangles tinkled softly and she felt less self-conscious.

Rowan loved her jewellery. She loved how her mum jangled and was always adorned. It was considered a symbol of beauty in their culture and ever since she was a little girl, she had always had some piece of jewellery on her. She even kept the tiny baby bangle that she wore when she was a tiny tot. She even had her first pair of earring that she wore when she was less than six months. She kept in her top part of her cartilage since her lower holes were too big to have such tiny earrings in them.

Peter hated her piercings. It freaked him out. James and Sirius loved her piercings. James especially liked how they glinted in the sunlight since the majority of them were all silver or gold.

Try as she may, Rowan couldn't bring herself to primping herself up everyday for school. She would much rather sleep an extra half an hour or sometimes forty-five minutes. She didn't care if her hair was straight or her lips were kissable. All she cared about was looking clean and smelling fresh. The end.

If she was showered, dressed and her thick curling hair was twisted back in a bun then she was good to go. It was a good day.

Then it was a _really_ good day if she managed to find matching socks. Or socks that didn't have holes in them.

Deep down, Rowan held an appreciation for how caring Lily kept her clothes, taking out the wrinkles, making sure nothing was crushed. Lily always looked polished and composed, effortlessly. Marlene too looked nicely done up, but Rowan didn't care for all the make-up she painstakingly applied every morning.

It was hard work being a girl sometimes, Rowan sighed as she tramped down the Girls Staircase. She spotted Peter on the couch and flung herself down next to him.

Peter looked up and smiled. "Hey. Watcha up to?"

"Trying to figure out how I'm going to get out going to this stupid Winter Formal." Rowan replied.

"Oh Ro. It's not gonna be that bad. At least you're going with someone whose not going to try to grope you afterwards to try and talk you into a stroll through the enchanted gardens." He chuckled.

"If he does he's going to get his hands chopped off," Rowan said grimly. Peter snorted.

"He's looking forward to it you know," Peter slid her a sidelong glance. Rowan sat up and looked at him.

"What do you mean by that?"

"Nothing really. He's just excited you know? He's never really gone to a ball with someone who hasn't tried to move on him, or someone whose trying to jump him. He just think it's nice, that's all," Peter explained.

"Oh." Rowan softened. It was kind of cute that was Sirius was a little excited about it.

"So do us all a big favour and don't grouse or grumble anymore about it. All right? This is our last Winter Formal so just sit back and let everyone be sappy and sentimental about it yeah?"

"Yeah okay," Rowan agreed.

"Can't believe it's already December. Time goes by so fast." Peter sighed staring into the fireplace.

"Yeah another six months and then ciao! Real world here we come."

"Real world with no idea of what to do in the real world," he reminded her.

"Eh." Rowan waved a hand. "Who needs the all the answered now? Otherwise life wouldn't be so fun."

"But it would be nice to have some idea of what was going to happen,"

"It would, but life doesn't really work out that way, you know that," Rowan gently said.

"I know. I know." Peter flopped on his side and Rowan rubbed his side.

"Don't worry about it mate. Something will work out."

"Yeah I know. I mean, if I can get a date to the Winter Ball then maybe I'll be able to get some idea of a life in my head." Peter agreed.

"Wait you have a date!" Rowan asked interestedly.

Peter blushed and mumbled something. "Yeah I do. It's not a big deal."

"Well that's what you think! But that's lovely Peter. Who ya going with?"

"Elena Bennett. We share History of Magic together, Hufflepuff,"

"Elena…Elena…what she look like?" Rowan tried to place a face to the name but to no avail.

"Kind of tan, dark hair, straight. Brown eyes. Tall." Peter described.

"Yeah sorry I don't know her."

"No worries. She's a nice girl."

"I'm sure she is Peter. And don't worry I won't do anything to scare her off or display my full fledged true crazy nature," Rowan assured him.

"Thanks. Just do me a favour?"

"Anything,"

"Just keep Sirius occupied for most of the night! I don't need my date to be distracted." Peter said half jokingly but there was a faint note of anxiousness in it.

"I will do my best mate, but I can't guarantee a full time distraction. Do you know how difficult it is to keep Sirius in check?"

"Course I do! I live with the bloke!" Peter snorted.

* * *

Rowan kept herself busy with schoolwork, magic and trying not to send herself to the Hospital Wing. Sometimes she studied in the library but nowadays it was so crammed with fifth and seventh year students that Rowan avoided it at all costs. Even the stinkin Slytherins were in there, when the entire fifth and seventh year of Slytherins were holed up in the library that's when you knew things were bad.

So instead Rowan kept to her odd hours and studied all night after everyone had left the Common Room, usually starting around 11 pm or midnight and working steadily until the sun began to show itself, that or when the grey clouds made themselves shown.

This of course, minimized her time with her mates, and Sirius especially pouted a bit at this but he understood this how he she worked and he knew better to disturb her. He found himself missing her during Breakfasts on Monday, Wednesday and Fridays because she didn't have class till 9:30 which meant she usually slept from 6 am till then. How she ever managed to function on her bizarre sleeping patterns still baffled the lot of them.

"So it lives," James smiled one night as Rowan joined them in the Common Room.

"Yeah it does," she yawned. She still was a little sleepy having just gotten up a few minutes ago. She glanced at the clock, it was half past eleven.

"Brought ya some dinner since you don't emerge for meals anymore," Lily handed her a bundle of paper napkins.

"Appreciate that, whatcha up to?" Rowan asked hungrily biting into a breadroll. Remus handed her some fruit and she accepted it gratefully.

"Trying to finish off Slughorn's potions homework, god that man is insane." Remus replied flopping down on the couch.

"Not as insane as McGonagall mate. Have you seen how scary she's become now?" James shuddered.

"And to think she does this every year," Lily shook her head.

"Somebody entertain me," Sirius announced tumbling down the Boys Staircase. He had shut himself up alone in the dorm so he could concentrate on Villa's Arithmancy homework. He didn't really get anything accomplished though and decided that it would be smarter to study with Rowan. And by studying, what he really meant was distracting her and goofing off until she got all shirty on him. He found it hilarious when she got annoyed with him.

"Evening Sirius," Rowan said to him.

"Finally! Someone who won't bug me about my future. Even James here has been getting on my case."

"But dear, you kind of do have a future," she pointed out reasonably.

"Ugh not you too!" Sirius groaned.

"Shaddup you prat. It's Peter and I who no inkling what we want to do with ourselves."

"Okay stop right there. There will be no more talking about the future and life until after Christmas break" Marlene waved her hands authoritatively.

"I'm in on that," Remus raised a hand.

"Count me in too," Peter chimed.

"Fine. And if some one does bring it up?" Lily rolled her eyes.

"They get a right good konk on the head," Marlene promptly replied.

"That I can get on board with," Rowan said. Sirius' eyes twinkled. He was finding that he liked Marlene more and more, he could understand why Remus was in love with her.

"Cheer up, at least we only have four more days left in the week, then it's the ball and bam. Holidays!" James exclaimed.

"Got all your Christmas shopping done?" Remus teased.

"Shaddup."

"How are you fending off the girlies Sirius?" Rowan asked.

"Don't ask. It's a total disaster. Today I got ambushed _three_ times. One girl even chased after me with a mistletoe in her hand," Sirius grumbled.

"Are you freaking kidding me? She chased after you?" Rowan doubled over in laughter.

"Oi, it's not funny, how would you like it if some stupid blokes were running after you begging you to kiss them with a mistletoe in their hand."

"Luckily I don't seem to have that problem mate, thank god."

"That's what you think," Sirius muttered under his breath.

"Just face it love, you're cursed. See, good looks are a curse and blessing in disguise! Now I've figured out what they mean by that stupid saying!" She declared triumphantly.

"Well what's your curse then? You're good looking too! How come you don't have any problems?" Sirius tossed back.

The boys looked at him strangely and even Lily raised an eyebrow. Marlene however smiled faintly. She felt the cogs in her head turning. Something was up but it wasn't quite evident yet.

"My curse is being marginalized by society thanks to my ethnicity," Rowan tartly replied.

"Oh. That's fair enough. Actually yours is worse," Sirius conceded.

"Sirius don't you remember? I always win." Rowan shrugged.

"Yeah, yeah yeah,"

"Well, I'm off to bed. I'm beat, I'll see you at some point tomorrow Rowan," Lily said getting up.

"I'll see you at lunch, then we have the rest of the afternoon together."

"Let's goof off tomorrow, I feel like I haven't seen you in ages," Lily said feeling the holiday mood.

"I'm down with that. Marlene you stave off homework for awhile too. Let's just do nothing."

"Let's sleep!" Marlene said hopefully.

Lily laughed. "That's a good idea too. God knows I can't wait for this year to be over so I can sleep again."

"Maybe that's what I'll get you for Christmas, sleep," Rowan said.

"For Christmas can you give me time?" Marlene asked.

"I'll see what I can do, night girlies," Rowan smiled as her roommates left.

"All right it's just me and my boys!"

"Well actually now it's only you and yourself. We've got Potions first thing tomorrow and I have Quidditch training in the morning too so I'm gonna try and sleep now." James replied apologetically.

"No problem! Have fun. Night Peter, night Remus,"

The boys waved good night and started off the staircase. Rowan twisted around seat and was met with a grinning Sirius.

"Oh boy it's just you and me," she said flatly.

"And Arithmancy!" Sirius added.

"Goody. It's gonna be a hot night. What's got your brain in a tizzy?"

"The entire homework assignment! I can't understand any of the theories or figure out how to work though the theoretical situations they give for us to divine!"

"Oh bloody hell Sirius. Can't you do anything by yourself?"

"No. Wait. I can. But it's more fun if someone else is there too," Sirius cheekily said.

It took a moment for Rowan to register this innuendo. Then her eyes narrowed. She got up, walked up to him and then promptly smacked the back of his head.

"Ow!"

"That's for being a git," she said composed. Then she tugged at his hair and Sirius yelped.

"And that's for being a stupid, cocky git," she finished. "Show me what you've done. Or rather, haven't done."

* * *

_A/N: Yes this chapter was a lil shorter than my usual length but as I've said in my previous chapter I'm feeling a little burned out but I didn't want to leave you lot hanging. Enjoy the light-heartedness of this story while it lasts people, they'll be plenty of doom and gloom to come once I hopefully reignite the flame of motivation in my head. **I'd really appreciate if you could review. xoxoxo** _


	23. Realisations

_A/N: So I've just been holed up catching up on films that I never got around to seeing and reading and my muses returned from their ill-timed holiday! As always, thanks for your support and reviews. Now **pay attention** closely dear readers as between all what might appear "fillery" words, there is some important foreshadowing of in the development of our character's persona's in the chapters to come._

* * *

Sirius mumbled something under his breath but got up and showed her his homework anyway. She groaned upon seeing the mess of scribbles and scratched out lines.

"Good god Sirius what were you trying to do? Figure out Einstein's theory of relativity?" Rowan said referring to the famous muggle scientist. She read a lot. And she read many different things. Sure she didn't understand squat about relativity or physics for that matter, but she from what she read it was exceedingly difficult, relativity.

"The what? What the heck is an Einstein?" Sirius asked confused.

"A person. A famous muggle scientist to be exact," she replied tugging at some books.

"You read too much,"

"You don't read enough!"

"You read an awful lot about the muggle world. Seriously your fetish with the muggle world is bizarre."

"It's not a fetish, it's a fascination." She corrected.

"Sometimes I think you're half muggle honestly,"

"I wish I was half muggle! That way you get the best of both worlds. Seriously, muggles are so clever in making things that work for them in place of magic. It's amazing actually."

Uh osh. She was getting that feverish, farawaglow to her face. That only came when she was talking about something she was really passionate about. That was fine, the problem was when she got on a roll, she just rambled on and on forever!

"Seriously, they have toasters," Rowan was saying.

"What?"

"Toasters! You pop pieces of toast in them and it warms them up for you! Yeah they become all crispy and warm in it!"

"Wow that's like…magic!" Sirius said for a lack of something better to say.

"Exactly. Muggle magic mate. Absolutely incredible. When I ever live by myself in my own place I'm definitely going to put a toaster in it."

"Mine's gonna have a giant hammock suspended for the ceiling," Sirius replied.

"Oh yeah? What else would you put in your bachelor pad?"

"Um…I dunno…a big big chair for me to sit it…or a beanbag chair. I'd like to have a model galaxy of the solar system too but I doubt that'll ever happen."

"It could."

"Meh. I'd also like to have my own pool and sauna but that's really never gonna happen."

"Yeaaaahh sorry to say that it isn't going to happen right away."

"What 'bout you? What'd you like to have in your place one day?"

"A bunch of muggle contraptions for one thing. Like a toaster. A radio. A stereo if possible. I'd like to have a hanging fruit basket that hangs from my ceiling in the kitchen. And I'd like to paint the night sky on the my ceiling and the day sky on my floor or something."

"That'd be pretty bloody awesome,"

"I know! Oooohh, and my living room, if I could ever afford it, instead of couches, I'd have one wall with just a mattress or something low, and put a lot of colourful pillows or cushions on them and have gauzy drapes hanging around it. A special chill out corner." She said excitedly.

Sirius smiled at this. She was so cute sometimes. Sirius mentally berated himself for thinking like that.

Rowan, cute?

In a parallel universe perhaps.

Cute wasn't a word that he'd never normally associate with her. Rowan wasn't cute. She was hot-headed, yes, temperamental, yes, pretty, yes, but cute?

That was like ascribing a baby dragon to being cute. It just didn't work.

"Yeah it'd be styled off Moroccan or Arabian harems or something. I saw a picture of it in a muggle magazine. And I'd like to have yellow couch in a blue room. I like those colours together." She continued.

"Maybe you should just decorate people's houses for a living," Sirius suggested getting out of his head.

"Does that profession exist in our world?"

"I don't know. Ask your muggle studies professor!"

"You're right. Now let's shutsky upsky and focus. Give me your numerology chart,"

Sirius handed it over to her and admired how a stray curl nearly framed her jawline. She was so lovely, he thought absent-mindedly. An unconscious smile made its way on his face. What the _fuck_ was going on with him? First he thought she was cute, now she was lovely?

Well, lovely was a lot better than cute, he remembered how she looked all cleaned up at the Semi Formal. Yes, lovely was a much better word, he decided.

"What? Why are you smiling like a dope?" Rowan asked shortly.

Sirius felt the smile disappear. Whoops. "Nothing. Just thinking."

"Thinking? You? _Shocker._" Rowan deadpanned.

Sirius gave her a shove with his shoulder and she laughed.

"Sirius I swear to god, you need to focus more! Just cos you have a pretty face doesn't mean it's gonna help you pass your exams!" she exclaimed.

"Who cares? I'm tramping to America with you afterwards. Perhaps I'll just stay there." He said thoughtfully.

"Pa ha. Apparently they don't sell crumpets in the States. You'd come running back here after lasting on waffles for a week." Rowan scoffed.

"Well we'll just have to wait and see won't we?"

"Yeah, until now, complete this calculation and tell me what you get,"

* * *

Dutifully Sirius buckled down and worked through his homework, every now and then he'd take a peek at Rowan's neatly completed number chart.

What he liked most about her, was that she could be deadly serious and maniacally energetic and stave off homework or anything really important for a set of good laughs at the same time. There was a time and place for everything and her rule was, work hard, player harder.

She did a lot of both. That's why James and Sirius adored her. Sometimes it put Peter in a state of agitation. Remus watched with an bemused expression, sometimes partaking in her ridiculous ideas.

One time they had built a water balloon launcher contraption and launched them off the Astronomy Tower back in their fourth year. Spending so much time with her and the rest of the Marauders had caused Sirius' then girlfriend to dump him because she thought he was seeing Rowan at the same time. At the time Sirius hadn't thought so much of it, she was his mate and that was it.

Then as time went on Sirius began to realize just how much flak Rowan got from other girls from Hogwarts just for being seen with him. Even when she and James were roaming down the corridors he had heard James confide him that a lot of girls gave her the stink eye or glares.

Rowan of course, being the head-strong, "fuck it all", maniac she was, would pay no attention to it, either ignoring it, or if a girl said something to her, replying back with her own retorts. Only when girls physically got ugly with her, then she would take out wand. Or her fists.

Sirius and James had only seen Rowan physically fight back once and that had been an eye opener. She had taken on Lydia Forbes, a sixth year who was nearly twice her size and a good head taller than she was. Lydia was a Ravenclaw but she had the attitude of a Slytherin and they often wondered how the heck she ended up in Ravenclaw.

Lydia had been bothering her for weeks. Except it wasn't about her being friends with Sirius. No it was her dating Gideon Prewett, who was a seventh year and she a mere fifth year. The Prewett Twins held nearly god-like status and could give James and Sirius a run for their money as far as the female attention meter went.

Devilishly handsome, cocky and clever, girls simply went nuts whenever glancing at the twins. Sirius and James had learned nearly everything from them. The Prewett twins had sort of taken them under their wing back in the first year and ever since then Sirius and James had always thought of them as their cousins almost.

Rowan couldn't believe her sheer dumb luck that Gideon Prewett had decided to talk to her one day when she was in the library. She still couldn't believe that he asked her to be his girlfriend. She honestly thought it was a joke.

But it wasn't and so had begun her first real serious relationship. He was two years older than her and Rowan had been inducted in the mysteries of boys.

But a lot of girls were pissed. They were furious. It was bad enough she was mates with Sirius. But now she was Gideon's girlfriend as well? That just sent girls over the edge.

Especially Lydia.

She had taken to making Rowan's route to her classes exceedingly difficult with snide remarks, then shoves as they passed each other and then wandwork. Rowan snapped.

When Lydia took out her wand, Rowan had taken out her fists and sucker punched the girl in the jaw. Lydia had been so stunned she didn't have time to register that Rowan had snatched her wand out of her hand. She looked shocked at the younger girl.

Sirius and James were equally flabbergasted. They had seen Rowan angry before, but never violent. She was so coolly dispassionate at that moment that James had actually taken a step backwards.

Rowan gave another good kick to Lydia's legs and then charged against her and knocked her flat on the floor. She then petrified her with her own wand and then bent down and said a few things to Lydia very quietly.

Whatever she had said, it seemed to have worked because Lydia left her alone after that. Rowan had calmly collected herself again, straightened out her robes and swung her bag over her shoulder.

However just before leaving to go to their next lesson, Rowan had shoved her foot under Lydia and turned her over so she laid facedown on the ground.

Ever since that day, girls had given Rowan a wide berth knowing that she would fully fight back and probably inflict some serious pain on them.

But Rowan didn't care. She was the nicest person to you until you screwed with her. You screw with her and she would screw you over so bad you would regret you ever even looked at her. She called it self-preservation.

A part of her liked to think this stemmed from her ethnicity, as Roma people had been marginalized, persecuted and repeatedly down-trodden for the last two hundred years or so. From that it kind of ran in their bloodline to fight back harder and not to take any crap from anyone. Another part of her just believed in looking out for one's skin because life was a bitch most of the time.

Sirius had never been so impressed in his entire life. For him, unconsciously, he was coming to realise, that was the moment that set Rowan apart from every other girl in the Hogwarts. And that also was the day he realised he had unconsciously set the bar for each of his subsequent girlfriends. The problem was, that besides the fact that they were crazy and clingy and ferociously jealous, was that they weren't Rowan.

Sirius was just coming to realise that he full out fancied Rowan. Even her damn numerology chart made him think fondly of her.

This wasn't good.

Not good at all!

He was such a dope.

He was such a dope for not realising this sooner and an even bigger dope for not doing anything about it!

He mentally beat the crap out of himself and then focused on his homework. He blinked. He couldn't see.

He couldn't see because he was exhausted and bleary-eyed. He glanced at his watch and saw it was half past midnight. Crap he had quidditch practice at five in the morning.

"Rowan I'm gonna bugger off. Got quidditch practice at five." He yawned stretching.

"Mmmk. Have fun." She absently replied.

Sirius smiled faintly and then very quickly pressed a light kiss on her cheek before tramping up the Boys Staircase.

Rowan didn't even register anything different about it. The group of them had been mates for so long that they were just very affectionate with each other. The boys always exchanged kisses on the cheeks or hugs with the girls and vice versa. She was too engrossed in her work to give it any further thought.

However for Sirius, it was an entirely different story. Somehow this tiny gesture of affection was electrifying and terrifying for him. And then he knew, he just_ knew_, that he really liked her.

* * *

Regulus wiped the sweat from his brow and nearly smiled at her duelling partner. But there were other people around, people who would talk and then everything would get mucked up.

"Is that all you've got?" She panted swiping a few stray hairs that were plastered to her face.

"Thought I'd go easy on you since it's our last meeting before term ends," Regulus told her.

"Never! Bring it Black!" Rowan tossed up her chin and Regulus' eyes twinkled. He couldn't smile with his mouth, but he could smile with his eyes.

"You asked for it…_Aresto momento_!"

Rowan felt herself being slowed down as she tried to move, she didn't like this feeling. It was if she was moving through thick, thick, pudding!

"Damn you!"

Regulus raised his eyebrows that said _"Ha! I rule!"_

His little internal dance of victory was quickly cut off as she threw a well-placed hex at him that left him reeling.

It had taken him some time, but he really realised that he was…having _fun_ with her. if that was even possible. For him, school had never been fun. He got on well enough with his housemates but he wouldn't call the times they spent lounging around or whatever jolly good times.

He had never particularly liked school to be honest. He liked learning, he adored reading. But he didn't particularly like dealing with so many students in his classes.

That's why his favourite class was Alchemy. There were only about ten of them in that class and it was very serious and everyone who was in it took it seriously. He liked that.

"This one is for you Black!" Rowan sang out as she wielded another jinx at him.

"And this one is for you thanking you!" Regulus shot back ducking and pointing his wand.

Rowan hit the floor without a second thought. She really didn't mind tumbling around and making herself black and blue with bruises or marks. It gave her a sense of satisfaction. Plus she would just rub some magical ointment cream over whatever injuries she got and pouf! She'd be good as new the next day.

Flitwick blew his whistle and the students stopped their duelling. Regulus wiped a hand towel over his face and Rowan greedily drank from her water bottle.

"That was really good!" She said smiling at him.

Regulus internally sighed. Of course, she _would_ smile at him.

"Yeah it was good. You've learned some new spells haven't you?"

"Perhaps."

They milled around a bit until they were one of the few students left. They had come to an unspoken agreement that they usually walked back to their own Common Rooms together until they had to part ways.

This was the only time Regulus ever got to talk to her by himself without anybody bothering them or whispering or anything.

"Any plans for the holidays?" Rowan asked as they traipsed up to a staircase.

"Nothing but the usual Black Holiday…going home on Sunday after the Ball. We'll have the usual Christmas dinner with everyone…probably be roped into making some social calls as well."

"What's Christmas like at your place?" she asked curious.

Regulus shrugged. "Formal I guess. We get have our presents under the tree and everything. We get all dressed up in dress robes and fancy dresses for Christmas dinner and lunch."

"Lunch and dinner? Fancy."

"I know. And that's about it I guess. I'll probably go and meet some of my mates for drinks or whatever during the holiday."

"That'll…be nice." Rowan replied a little uncertainly. Regulus chuckled. "What about you? Christmas plans?"

"Staying here with everyone since it's our last year here. Plus my parents are going back to Romania for somethings and it's not the best time for me to go with them."

"Communists running amok?"

'"Like it's Guy Fawkes day every single day of the year, except they're fighting for repressing people instead of independence," Rowan sighed. She was surprised he even knew about Communists but then again he liked to read.

"Well I'm sure you'll have a nice time. Hogwarts is nice during the holiday time. You'll have the place all to yourself."

"Yeah I wish. James and Sirius will probably run the Common Room into the ground with their antics." Rowan grumbled.

Regulus stiffened slightly at the mention of his brother but he didn't make a comment on it. They reached the point where they parted their ways and he paused and turned to face her fully.

"Well," he began to say.

"Well…I'll see you here and there at the ball tomorrow, and if I don't, then have a merry Christmas okay?"

"Yeah…are you going with someone?"

"Yeah…"

"That's nice. Who?" Regulus asked curiously.

Rowan hesitated for a moment. Then she said quietly "Your brother actually,"

"Oh." Was all he said.

"We're not going out," Rowan said quickly.

Regulus shrugged. "It's none of my business."

It had become horribly awkward right then. Rowan suddenly felt the crazy feeling that she had just ruined whatever this thing, this pseudo tolerant friendship was with him and she did not like one little bit.

"Well. Have a good evening then," Regulus said shortly spinning on his heel and already walking away from her.

"You too, night Regulus," Rowan called out to him. Usually he lifted a hand and waved back but this time he just kept walking away from her, becoming smaller and smaller.

She watched him until she couldn't see him anymore. Then she shivered and realised what she was feeling.

She was feeling _sad._

* * *

_A/N: **I would really appreciate if you reviewed.** Let me know what you liked, what I could work on, scene ideas, who you would like to see more of, as we're working with a lot of characters and I'm trying to give scenes to everyone etc. I want to involve you lot more in the writing process.:) **So don't be shy, give me a shout! xoxoxo**  
_


	24. Brooding

_A/N: I didn't expect to get this chapter up till tomorrow or Tuesday but your lovely reviews were a great motivator so here's me saying thanks for them! As always, enjoy and please review. :)_

* * *

Rowan was unusually quiet once she had returned to the Common Room after Regulus' departure. She declined to hang out with the gang who was grouped around the fireplace chatting and playing Exploding Snap. Sirius looked over her curiously but she didn't say anything and big them good night. Remus stared at the back of her, concerned, and turned to James.

"Something is off," he said.

"Maybe she's just exhausted. You know she doesn't sleep properly,"

"That's cos she _can't_ sleep properly," Sirius corrected defending her.

"Whatever. C'mon it's the end of term, she's prolli just feeling herself about to crash finally."

"You're the most insensitive prick I've ever had the pleasure of being mates with," Remus scowled.

"You love me anyways!" was James' cheerful reply.

"I'm going to go check on her," Remus decided getting up.

"And pray tell me how are you going to do that?" James asked referring to the rule that barred the boys from climbing the Boys Staircase.

"Gonna borrow someone's broom or have Lily or Marlene levitate me," he promptly replied.

"I'll levitate you up there," Marlene offered.

"Thanks!" Remus smiled at her and her eyes twinkled at him. He suddenly felt quite bashful. It was a good thing he was going to check up on Rowan!

Rowan yanked on a pair of worn out boxers and crawled into bed. She felt that today has been a very, very long day and for the first time in a while, she really didn't want to stay up the whole night all by herself.

She couldn't understand why she was feeling so girly right now. She felt as if she was going to cry and she had no idea why. This was all over Regulus Black apparently,_ god_.

She stared broodingly up at the canopy ceiling and slid further down her bed enjoying the feeling of soft flannel of one of her blankets against her bare legs. She had always loved the feeling.

They weren't really mates. They were more of acquaintances. Never in her short life had she ever envisioned that she would ever befriend a Slytherin, much less Sirius' little brother.

This was like Lily being best friends with Snape for the longest time until he called her a mudblood in their fifth year. James and Sirius had been giving Snape a particularly hard time and Lily had tried to stop them but Snape was in no mood to get help from her then. The word had come out of his mouth like a bomb.

Lily hadn't shown it at that moment, but later in the dorm room Rowan had come across Lily sobbing and Rowan didn't understand then why it hurt her so much, not the fact that he called her a bad name, but for the fact that their friendship was effectively, over. Things had changed between them forever.

Lily had never talked about Snape since then nor did she ever talk to him again. But once in a while Rowan had caught Lily looking at Snape once or twice when she thought was no one looking when they were in the library or in the mutual classes they shared.

She wondered if Lily ever thought about him or missed him. She wondered if Lily would ever consider reaching out to him and trying to repair their friendship.

But perhaps, sometimes things became so irreparably damaged they couldn't be fixed, she thought sadly as she turned on her side.

Talk about a good way to start the holidays, she thought ruefully shutting her eyes.

* * *

The door creaked open and Rowan heard a voice call out her name softly, she turned and peeked over her Remus.

"Hey Remy," she smiled wanly at him.

"Hi Ro. Are you alright? You look…sad." Remus said hesitantly approaching her bed.

She scooted over and made some room for him to sit down. Remus studied her and waited for her to say something.

Rowan was quiet for another moment or two. "I just…it makes me sad how things can change do quickly," she finally said.

Remus understood that she wasn't going to go into specifics but that he would just listen to her. "Yeah, change can be hard."

"Do you ever wish things were different Remus? I wish…I wish we lived in a world where for the most part, we could get along."

"Don't we all? Isn't that what those damn hippies out in America are always singing about? World peace?"

Rowan chuckled at this. "Yeah. They are. But really. I just. I wish that…being friends with people is _hard_ Remus." She sighed.

Remus raised an eyebrow. He wasn't sure what she was talking about but for some reason his mind immediately strayed over to the fact that he had an idea that Padfoot had a thing for her. He wondered idly if she fancied him too.

"Yeah it is. Especially when you feel more than friendship for them," Remus carefully replied.

"But I don't feel anything for him!" Rowan blurted out frustrated.

"Who?"

"No one?" Whoops.

"Rowan do you fancy someone?" Remus asked shrewdly.

"No! I told you lot, I'm not interested in anyone," Rowan said loudly.

"Do you like Sirius?"

"What? _NO_!" Rowan exclaimed tugging the bed covers higher over her causing Remus to topple over.

"Ooof! Hey!" he exclaimed from the floor.

"Sorry mate. What in the world would you give you the crazy idea that I like Sirius?" Rowan asked. This conversation had taken a turn for the bizarre.

"Nothing. You were talking about friends and how it was hard to be friends with people. I don't know!"

"Remus did you inhale too many fumes in potions today? Sheesh. First Lily and Marlene were getting on my case about going to this bloody dance with him, and now you're asking me if I like him. Jeez! What is with it and Sirius? Just saying his name apparently is a big deal." Rowan huffed.

"Well, it is him. He's Sirius love. He just has this effect…on everyone I think. Plus, well, don't bite my head off, but I think for some of us, we've always kind of paired you off together in some bizarro way." Remus said tripping over his words at the end.

Rowan raised an eyebrow. "Why on earth would you think that?"

"Well! Lily and James were always written down at some point, I've always had a thing for Marlene and well, there's Peter."

"So? Peter is perfectly nice."

"Really Rowan? Would you go out with him?" Remus asked flatly.

A pause.

"No."

"SEE! And well, that leaves Sirius," Remus finished.

"Big deal. Remember, I did date someone who was not in our circle of mates! And Sirius has gone out with loads of girls who aren't mates with us!"

"Yeah but that's the point. For some ridiculous reason, I always somehow envisioned you together."

"Remus the only way that's gonna happen is in a post apocalyptic universe. Or if we die and meet each other in hell." Rowan snorted.

"Fine. You say that now. But for the record, Sirius is a great bloke and you'd be lucky to date him." Remus said defensively. He suddenly felt very protective of his roommate.

Rowan laughed. "Remus, I know! That's why I wouldn't bother going after him. I'd just muck things up between us and hurt him. He doesn't deserve that. He deserves some nice girl who can take care of him and all that jazz. I can barely take care of myself. He needs someone really special."

_Someone like you you git!_ Remus mentally shouted at her. But he kept quiet.

"Yeah, someone super duper special." Remus agreed.

"Like a special edition of a girl! Yeah, limited only, custom made only for him special kind of girl for him." Rowan decided.

Remus snorted. Now this was just getting absurd.

"Well I'm gonna go back to others. I just wanted to see if you were all right." Remus said getting up.

"I'm ok. Thanks for checking up on me, love ya," Rowan replied closing her eyes.

"Love you too you crazy little girl," Remus answered shutting the door behind him.

Remus slid down the banister of the staircase. Okay, just because he was a prefect didn't mean he didn't like to have fun. He was a seventeen-year-old boy for crying out loud. He hopped off and saw that everyone more or less was where he had left them.

"Is she okay?" Sirius asked looking up at him.

Remus looked at him and suddenly felt sad. James had told him that he had a strong feeling that Sirius fancied Rowan a lot more than he let on about recently and Remus was beginning to agree with him.

And apparently, the said girl didn't even see him or even think about seeing him like that at all. In any way.

"Yeah. She's fine. Tired." Remus replied.

"See! Told ya!" James said triumphantly.

"Yeah Prongs, you sure did," Remus said absently his mind a million kilometres away.

* * *

Saturday poked its grey head out and the sun smiled weakly on the students in its attempt to make December less dreary.

That also meant that tonight was the Winter Formal.

Regulus glared up at the ceiling of his canopy. He wished he didn't have to go to this formal at all.

She was going with his brother.

His brother.

Of all the goddamn people in the school, she was going with _him_.

His lips turned up in a deep scowl that marred his delicate features.

What really bothered him was the fact that he was bothered about the fact that she was going with his brother. He felt this anger he had in him was irrational.

She was perfectly free to go around with whomever she liked, he thought irritably. She wasn't his girlfriend. She wasn't really even his friend goddamnit.

But she meant something to him. He didn't know why.

Why, did this girl, of all the people, have to matter to him? Why did he always try to move his housemates away from talking about her or trying to make her life miserable?

Snape was beginning to think he had something for her, something that Regulus flatly denied.

He didn't like her! He just wanted to be proper mates with her. But the only way that would ever happen was if they were living in a parallel universe or if they ended up in hell.

But if he was there in hell, that also meant his brother would be there too, which meant he still wouldn't get to be Rowan's friend.

Sheesh. He couldn't even win in hell.

Regulus swore and stomped flat-footed towards the showers. It was 11 in the morning and all he wanted to do was rip someone head off.

Actually, he wanted to traipse right up to her and give her a good shouting and give her a piece of his mind.

_It's you! You're the person whose turned my world upside down and messed everything up!_ His mind shouted as he scrubbed himself with a ferocity that turned his olive skin red.

Snape looked at him curiously when Regulus threw himself into a seat for lunch.

"Woke up on the wrong side of the bed mate? You look like you're going to kill someone."

"I'm going to kill you," Regulus shortly said helping him to lunch.

"Oh good. That way I'll get out of going to this blasted formal."

"No problem. Now I just have to find a painless way to kill myself to get out of going with this and we're set."

"Stun yourself, stand in front of a mirror and have it rebound on you," Snape suggested tucking his tongue in his cheek.

"That sounds really tempting Snape…I might just do that,"

"But at least you have a hot date," Snape pointed out referring to Tanya Forbes who indeed was quite lovely.

"Looks aren't everything Snape,"

"But admit it, they do make up for some things,"

"Like what?"

"Like not having a brain."

"Nope. I'd rather go out with a plain looking girl who was smart than a mindless good looking bimbo." Regulus said stoutly.

Snape looked at him. He shrugged. "What?"

"You're an odd duck."

"Shaddup."

Snape let this conversation dropped and stared at out at the Great Hall. He spotted the flaming red hair of the girl he once used to be friends with and his eyes hardened.

She was with him. Potter. Snape's mouth curled into frown.

And she was laughing.

If looks could kill, James Potter would be dead as a doornail right now. Snape couldn't decide whether he despised Lily for going out with him enough that it somehow enveloped the deep rooted fondness he had for her.

Nope. He could never hate her. He did however, think she was unbelievably stupid for going out with the arrogant prat. His thin mouth curled in a frown.

"Stop staring. People will notice," Regulus said quietly. Snape snapped out of his trance and glared at his mate.

"What are you taking about?"

"You think I don't know Snape? I do. I know. But stop making it so obvious."

Snape muttered something but didn't disagree with what he was saying.

"Snape." Regulus asked a little lower.

"What?" he mumbled.

"You still miss her don't you?"

Snape didn't reply. Regulus took this answer for a yes. "It doesn't really matter anymore. We're on different paths in this life and I've got better things to do than brood over some girl that isn't even worth it," Snape answered curtly. He rustled the newspaper and buried his nose in it. Regulus rolled his eyes.

See the thing was, Rowan, in all of her ferocious, strange and eccentric glory, was definitely worth brooding about.

Girls.

Couldn't live with them, couldn't live without them.

* * *

At six p.m. the Lily and Marlene pried Rowan away from her books and whatever new spell she was working on and locked her in their dorm to get ready for the dance. Both Marlene and Lily were giddily excited. Rowan looked amusedly at them as they twittered about. They were so funny.

"Someone help me curl my hair!" Lily cried out studying her locks.

Rowan rolled her eyes. "Lily your hair is nice straight."

"No I want to look special tonight. It's our last winter formal!"

"Oh man everything we do here is our last everything at this place!" Rowan flopped back on her bed.

"Here, this spell will work, Rowan get your skinny little butt up and get dressed."

"It's only a quarter past six!" Rowan protested.

Marlene lifted her wand and Rowan felt herself being shoved off the bed. "Oi!"

"Go!"

"Fine fine fine. See if you get any Christmas presents from me," Rowan grumbled sauntering towards the bathroom.

At a quarter past seven the girls were finally ready. After various slight make up mishaps and some alarming hair curling spellwork that had gone slightly wrong leaving Lily with hair standing upright two feet tall (Rowan had finally stepped in and righted it and now Lily's hair was fine, curling softly about her shoulders) they were primed and polished. Even Rowan was, which, she declared was all time accomplishment for her.

"Seriously I don't think I've ever been this dolled up you lot," Rowan grumbled twisting around. She had done some serious modifications to the dress she had purchased.

"But you look so good! Seriously, you rock formal wear. You ought to model for it." Marlene exclaimed.

"Too short and not enough bust," Rowan replied.

"Oh. But seriously, you look incredible. Why you choose to stomp around in band t shirts and wacky clothing is beyond me."

"Dressing in black or donning rainbow socks isn't wacky clothing." Rowan defended.

"You'd look good in blue," Lily said critically studying her friend.

"Yeah yeah yeah, that's what they all say, all right. Let's get this thing over with." Rowan huffed wrenching the doorknob open.

Downstairs the boys were complaining amongst themselves about the evils of dress shoes and suits. Sirius tugged uncomfortably at his tie. He still couldn't tie one properly for the life of him.

"Seriously they ought to invent a charm for these blasted things," Sirius scowled.

"Perhaps Rowan could," Peter offered.

"Knowing her she probably would," Sirius agreed.

"Would do what?" a voice called out.

* * *

_A/N: **I would really love if you reviewed**! Remember, don't hesitate to let me know of any scene ideas, conversations you'd like to see happen or who you'd like to see more of. xoxoxo_


	25. The Winter Formal

_A/N: You guys... the highlight of my week has been getting a bag of spinach for 99 cents. Yeah it's been one of **those** weeks. And I've also found out that I don't get Monday off (it's a holiday here in the US) which was the one thing that had been tiding me over for the last two months as I've been looking forward to a day off for ages and had planned on spending it writing and reading all day. Yeah. This week has been just stellar so far. Anyway I'm done with my mini rant. I'd really appreciate if you could review afterwards. Enjoy!_

* * *

James whistled as Rowan descended down the last steps and Remus eyed her appreciatively. Peter nudged Sirius and Sirius' eyes dropped out of his head.

He couldn't speak. He had lost the ability to speak.

She looked lovely, he thought. She looked so outrageously nice that he didn't know what to do with himself.

Sirius would be the first to admit that Rowan was a fine looking girl. When she wasn't in her school uniform she was in ripped jeans, fishnets and worn out t shirts or tank tops with huge jumpers pulled over to them. In fact, dressing in her school uniform was as nice as she usually got. Why she dressed like she had just emerged from a punk show mystified him and her roommates to no end.

She didn't like fuss and feathers, he knew that but he thought make up suited her very well.

"Sirius what the hell have you done with your tie?"

"I tried to tie it, but it didn't really work out."

"I can see that." Rowan's nimble fingers untied the disastrous knot and retied it again. Sirius caught a whiff of her perfume and he inwardly sighed.

"You guys match!" Marlene grinned snapping a picture of them. Rowan threw a hand over her face and shrieked. She hated being photographed.

"We do don't we?" Sirius agreed handing her a delicate bloom. Rowan smiled in sheer pleasure and pinned it in her hair. She waved her wand and conjured up the same blossom and tucked it in Sirius' breast pocket.

"We might as well go all out since it's our last Winter Formal as Lily and Marlene reminded have me, a hundred thousand times."

Sirius eyed her again. She was wearing a slim fitting silvery smooth grey dress that did indeed match his eyes. It was one shoulder and on the top part there was a bright slash of red fabric that accentuated the slope of the neckline of the dress dress. A single necklace shone on her neck and her hair was let down from its usual bun and the curls cascaded down her back.

She glittered, Sirius mused. There was glitter on her eyes and her skin. She looked like a Christmas bauble, all glowy and glittery.

He had to snap out of him. "Well to state the obvious, you look stunning," Sirius said normally.

"Thank you," Rowan said feeling a sheer delight run through her at his compliment.

Marlene eyed the pair of them with keenly. She then held the camera up again. "One proper picture, please! It's not everyday that Rowan is all dressed up nicely."

"But now you guys know that I am fully capable of it!" Rowan said proudly.

"You should do it more often," Sirius told her running a finger down her arm tracing her muscles. It always amazed him that she was so toned for such a delicate girl. He had never seen her do any kind of sport or so. Goosbumps appeared and Rowan swatted his hand away.

"One picture, stand still, look pretty and don't do anything stupid, please!" Marlene insisted.

"Fiiiiinnnnne," Rowan sighed theatrically. She stepped closer to Sirius and he slid an arm around her waist and she put a hand on his chest, turning slightly in towards him.

She smiled and suddenly felt the ridiculous urge to laugh. This all seemed so…couple-ly. Which was a joke since it was her of all people.

Sirius however felt that having his arm around her waist was as natural as breathing. He liked being close to her, he realised.

"Smile!" Marlene held up the camera and focused.

Rowan felt the smile on her face grow wider if possible and Sirius felt himself grin. However instead of looking at the camera he was too distracted by Rowan's big, big smile and was instead looking at her when the flash went off.

"Padfoot you weren't even looking at the camera!" Peter exclaimed.

"No but the picture looked great. I'm sure it'll come out lovely," Marlene said happily.

"Okay, is picture time over yet? Let's get vamoosing!" Rowan said impatiently.

"No! We need documentation. Somebody take a picture of us with our hair all nice before it goes kaput!"

"Argh!"

* * *

After a good number of pictures later, the group finally made their way to the staircase that led to the Great Hall. It was a traditional custom for the Seventh Years to enter last along with their dates with the entire school already being there.

The winter formal, Rowan mused, was just too formal. But she had to admit, the castle and the Great Hall looked absolutely lovely. It looked like Christmas in a box or a winter wonderland.

"Man, I almost feel grown up. Almost." Sirius said. She chuckled.

"I feel like Cinderella. This is so weird." Rowan replied.

"What's weird?"

"Sirius, you're the best looking bloke in the school, a prince charming, except you're really not that charming, you're more bigheaded," she teased. "And well, you're coming with me. It's just…funny. That's all."

"Hey! I've deflated my head. And what's so funny about me coming with you? Have you seen you tonight? Gorgeous." Sirius waved a hand over her.

Rowan rolled her hands. "But I don't _feel_ like me. You, you look totally natural in a suit. You should seriously consider modelling if you don't want to be an auror."

"I'll keep that in mind." Sirius offered her his hand as they prepared to take their turn down the staircase.

"Well," she exhaled. "Let's do this," she slid her hand into his and Sirius felt another smile break out onto his face.

To say there were a lot of whispers and looks that were elicited by the site of the pair would be an understatement. Girls gaped and whispered furiously amongst themselves. A good number of boys shot Sirius resentful looks and gave Rowan wistful looks.

Sirius was acutely aware of how much attention Rowan was receiving from both genders. And she was so ignorant, or, really, he suspected, she knew the kind of reactions she elicited from people, which is why she chose to ignore it, or play it down. That was a shame because there was an innate kind sexuality that radiated off her in waves and he had always been semi aware of it, even when they were younger.

Sirius didn't try to be sexy. He just was. He didn't understand how that worked either. He wasn't sure what exactly made the girls chase after him like shoes going on sale. But Rowan was a different case. She just…drew people to her in a different kind of way.

Dumbledore and McGonagall looked interestedly over at the pair of them and Dumbledore's eyes twinkled.

"That's a new development," McGonagall commented.

"I don't think it's quite developed yet Minerva. Miss Forlani looks as ethereal and independent as ever," Dumbledore remarked mildly.

The headmaster was right on the money. Rowan was blissfully unaware of the rampant thoughts that were running through Sirius' head. If she did know, she probably would have run in the opposite direction as fast as she could.

To her relief the Formal wasn't as terrible as she had envisioned it to be. Sirius was his usual self and kept his hands in places she deemed respectable and not once did she have to warn him about his hands. Dinner was good and the dessert was excellent.

Sirius fielded off a lot of requests for dances with the other girls and kept Rowan close to him for the majority of the dance, only sharing her with James, Remus and Peter.

This didn't bother her; she didn't register Sirius' feeling of possessiveness that he was currently undergoing. In fact, she was having the most fun she had in a long time at a dance just being with her mates.

"Sirius be a doll and let me steal your partner for a dance would ya?" Lily grinned at him her fingers clasping Rowan's wrist.

"Fiinnnneee, but no funny business!" Sirius pouted but his eyes were laughing. He joined Peter and Remus at the table and watched Lily whisk Rowan off to the dance floor.

"So how long have you fancied her?" Remus asked bluntly. Sirius looked at him shocked.

"Pardon?" Sirius stammered.

"How long have you had a thing for our favourite magic maniac?"

"I don't—"

"Padfoot please, you should have seen the dopey looks on your face!" Peter rolled his eyes.

"I don't look dopey!" he protested.

"No, you look like someone who's half in love with one of their best mates," Remus shot him a look.

Sirius mumbled something. "What's the big deal if I like her?"

"Ha! So you do fancy her!" Peter said triumphant.

"I said **IF**."

"It's a big deal because…you're you and Rowan is Rowan and you're friends."

"Oh god here we go _AGAIN_!" Sirius moaned slumping down in his seat.

"Yes again. Padfoot. Ugh. I don't know. I feel very apprehensive about the whole thing."

"You like Marlene! You're friends with her!" Sirius said heatedly.

"But not like you and Rowan. I've liked Marlene since our fifth year. But we've only really become friends this year. You and Rowan are…too good of mates." Remus said thoughtfully.

"And that's a bad thing?"

"It could be in your case. You know Rowan…she's just…she likes to be on her own. She's a very…independent person. For her, love is something that would just impede from doing the things she wants to do." Peter chimed in seriously.

"Yeah she does have a very bizarre sense of love. Gideon used to tell me that half the time she liked to be on her own and do things…but she seems so happy at Lily and James and seems to be rooting for your and Marlene pretty strongly. I don't understand why she doesn't believe in love for herself."

"Oh she does. She believes in all kinds of love Padfoot, she just doesn't believe that right now is the time for love, at least, a love for a person." Remus told him.

Sirius sat back and digested this. "How do you know all of this?"

"We talk."

"Rowan and I talk!" Sirius huffed.

"Well we mostly went over this during the summer holidays when we were with you and James…she was up at 7 am for some ungodly reason and hadn't slept, she was up on the roof watching the sun. And somehow we just got to talking about this kind of mumbo jumbo."

Sirius muttered something. "And what about you Remus? Thoughts on love?"

"I think there's someone for everyone, and I'd like to believe that no matter how cruel we can be to each other, we can still want to take care of each other." Remus said in his quiet way.

"Bless you Mooney. At least one of us still believes in the power of love," Sirius clapped a hand on his back.

"It is a powerful thing," Remus replied.

"Yeah, yeah." Sirius waved a hand.

Rowan came up to them, face flushed and skin warm. She stretched out her hands towards Sirius and said, "Dance with me,"

"'Course," Sirius clasped her hands and she led him to the dance floor.

The lights dimmed as a slower number came on and Sirius drew her close and felt her head against his chest.

"Are you having a good time?" he asked her.

"Yes I am! This is by far the best dance I've gone too. I like it when it's just us." Rowan said tilting her head up at him.

He smiled and spun her out and then in towards him again. "I do too. I hope everyone else is enjoying themselves."

"Well Lily and James look pretty content. And I saw Marlene drag Remus out for a couple of numbers before Caradoc whisked her off again."

"I wish things were easier for him," Sirius sighed feeling sympathetic towards Remus.

"Me too love. But hopefully something good will happen. Remus deserves a nice girl like her." Rowan said wistfully.

"You deserve a boy too," Sirius said before stopping himself.

Rowan smiled faintly and slipped her arms around his neck. "When the time is right, he'll be there,"

Sirius half-heartedly wished the time was right, now. For _him_. His grey eyes studied her scars on her face and he lifted a hand to lightly trace over the ones that Remus had accidentally given her.

She felt the ridiculous urge to shiver. She had never been this close to him before and he had never touched her like that before. It made her feel vaguely apprehensive. She did not like feeling apprehensive.

"These won't fade will they?" Sirius said half regretfully.

"No. But I don't mind. I like my scars. They're important to me."

"I like them too, I think they make you look even more lovely. I like how they seem to illustrate the contours of your face. Like a drawing almost." Sirius said.

There was something in his tone that scared Rowan and she felt something shift between them, she hurriedly cast those thoughts aside.

Sirius looked at her in the dim lighting and fleetingly wished that things were different right now. She was so close to him, he could probably count how many eyelashes she head. The music was all tinkly and romantic and the lights were low and if she was any other girl, any other girl at all, he would have kissed her right there and then.

But she wasn't. She was Rowan and he couldn't, he just couldn't.

At that moment Sirius wished he could have jumped into the Lake or take a trip into the Forbidden Forest. Anything really to distract him from the sudden and sharp feeling of helplessness he was feeling now.

* * *

She looked beautiful.

That was his first thought when Regulus first spotted her descending the staircase at the start of the dance.

And her arm, was tucked through his brother's.

That was this second thought and Regulus felt the immediate need to punch someone lights out.

His date, Tanya Forbes was lovely and she was nice and Regulus for the most part enjoyed her company. But he was still distracted by the fact that Rowan looked like an exquisite flower, all pale and fragile looking. His thoughts embarrassed him.

What embarrassed him more was the hot stab of jealousy he felt whenever he saw her with his brother.

Regulus wanted to talk to her, he wanted to dance with her. He wanted to be closer to her like his brother was.

Christ almighty, Regulus suddenly realised utterly horrified. He might actually_ like _her.

He mentally slapped himself. This was absolutely terrible.

"Shall we dance?" Tanya asked him.

He really didn't want to. He didn't, but she was good company this entire time so he agreed.

As they danced he sneaked furtive glances around trying to spot where Rowan was. He saw her once with Lily and Marlene and another time with Remus. Then he had the displeasure of seeing him dance with his brother again. That was it. He couldn't stand to be here any more.

At the same time, Rowan was thinking nearly the exact same thing. All of a sudden, it was just all too much. She was too dressed up, too made up, too close to Sirius. Too everything.

She needed some air. She needed some space. She needed to be able to _think._

Plus her feet were beginning to ache. Whoever invented high heels really hated women, she thought to herself as she flexed her toes inside her shoe. A faster number was on and she was sitting at the table, watching James whirl Lily about the ballroom.

"Marlene do me a great big favour, and grant me the pleasure of occupying my darling partner for a dance or two? I have to go to the loo," Rowan turned to her roommate.

Marlene grinned at her. "Are you sure you don't want to take him with you?" She teased. Kind of.

Rowan glared at her. "No."

Marlene tittered in response but stood up anyway. "Let's go pretty boy. Let's see if you're nearly as good as a dancer as Caradoc," she tugged at Sirius' hand.

"Hey!" Sirius said indignantly already feeling competitive. "I assure love, I am a _way_ better dancer than your boyfriend,"

"Well you better prove it then,"

"Believe me I will. I am an excellent dancer thanks to all those lessons—"

"Wait, you took dance lessons?" Marlene stared at him.

Bugger. No one was supposed to know about that. Sirius mentally face palmed himself.

"Well it's not as if I wanted to take them…I was forced to. Being a Black and a pureblood and all that shit. All the old wizarding pureblood families force their kids to learn ballroom dancing!"

She began laughing. "Oh my lord this is prolli one of the greatest things I've ever heard, the infamous Sirius Black is trained in ballroom dancing…he had to take dance lessons…"

"Hey…" Sirius protested.

"Did you have to wear leotard or spandex?" Marlene teased.

"Shaddup," Sirius grumbled. "Keep talking like that and you won't get the chance of a life time, apparently I speak for all the majority of the nutty girls in this place, to dance with me."

"Ok ok ok I'm done, let's go," Marlene tucked her tongue in her cheek and pushed him towards the dance floor.

Rowan watched the pair and then sighed in relief. Finally. She didn't really have to go the loo but at least she could hear herself think for a little bit.

Regulus had been keeping a sharp eye on her for the entire night, well as sharp as he could without making it obvious and the moment he saw her slip out of the ballroom, he knew this was his chance.

"I'm going to the loo, are you all right?" he asked his date.

"Yeah," she smiled. Regulus barely registered this as he was already standing up. It took him every ounce of willpower he had not to dash like a madman out of the ballroom after her.

He _did_ however, dash around the hall like a madman once he had left the ballroom. He rounded a corner, slipping a little on the marble floors and caught the flash of her dress as she walked ahead.

Where the hell was she heading he had not the faintest clue. Regulus sped up and then feeling desperate sprinted a little faster, he was nearly right behind her, he stretched out a hand and…

* * *

_A/N: Want to make my less than stellar week a wee bit better? I'd love if you could review please! xoxoxo_


	26. Interlude

_A/N: Thank you for all the great reviews and feedback! I appreciate all you of you taking the time to leave your thoughts and I am so pleased that everyone is enjoying Regulus' character. **A shout out goes to** **taylag** who suggest that Rowan and Regulus disappear for a bit, believe me, without that suggestion the entire dance scene would have been a LOT more boring and less dynamic. Enjoy and review!_

* * *

He missed grabbing her hand by an inch. Instead he face planted on the floor.

"Ooof!"

"What the…Regulus?" Rowan looked at the dishevelled boy in disbelief.

"Evening," he groaned rolling over on his back.

"What are you _doing_?"

"Trying to talk to you? Albeit I envisioned doing it in a slightly more dignified manner…"

"Are you off your rocker?" Rowan asked still slightly stunned.

"Apparently,"

This was surreal, Rowan thought. She shifted her stance. "Are you gonna get up?" she asked after a beat.

"No I'm good down here…marble floors hurt…"

"Well then I'm gonna be going—"

Regulus scrambled to his feet. "I'm up! I'm up!" Wincing slightly he threw out his hands in effort show he was fine.

"Well it's not like I can just stand here all night talking to you! I'll get murdered in my bed. And you'll be pitched into the Great Lake!"

"How come I'm the one who has to drown and you get to die in bed?"

"Um because drowning is less painful than being say I don't know…stabbed to death in bed or having your throat slit, head chopped off—"

Regulus blanched. "Ok ok ok I'll take the drowning…jeez when you put it that way…but c'mon you can give me five minutes! You girls take forever in the loo!"

Rowan opened her mouth ready to refute this but Regulus had decided to take matter into his own hands, quite literally speaking because she found herself being shunted into a nearby empty classroom with his hand firmly wrapped around wrist.

"Regu—" she started piqued, he slammed the door and let go her wrist.

"Five minutes," he reiterated holding a hand. "Just five,"

A quick internal argument was held in her head but she pushed that out of her way. "Fine,"

"Thank you!" Then Regulus felt a bit foolish. Now that he had her attention, he wasn't quite sure what to do with it.

She stared at him bluntly. "So…" she swung her arms about.

"Well this is sufficiently awkward," he replied.

A laugh escaped from her. "Yeah it is. I wonder why. We don't have a problem talking outside of duelling club,"

"Perhaps it's because we're all dressed up," he offered. "Whenever you're in fancy clothing things tend to feel different, at least, for me,"

"No I agree. I feel like a royal prat being all dolled up like this. You however look quite nice all suited up," Rowan said easily.

"Thank you. Why do you feel like a prat?" Regulus asked curiously.

She shrugged and took a seat on a desk. "Because, I don't dress up..that's…just not me. I feel as if I'm an entirely different person. That it's not really me…it's like Cinderella going to the ball."

"Oh," he didn't really understand why she felt this way because privately in his head he was thinking that dressing up really suited her and that she ought to do it more often. Of course he wouldn't tell her this in person. Instead he settled for studying her in silence.

It was a mark of their fledgling friendship that Regulus felt bold enough to rake his eyes down her face, memorizing face in his head, her scars forever being etched in his mind.

There was just something about her that made people look at her, something about her drew people in. he couldn't find the words to describe it. Maybe it was the dusky skin with the blue eyes and the dark curly hair. Or maybe it was the startling contrast between the soft skin (to him it looked soft) and the sharp scars.

It was the eyes and the scars, he decided. Her eyes were both unreadable yet full of expression at the same time. He didn't even know how that was possible.

"Does it ever bother you?" he asked after several long moments.

"What?"

"Your scars."

"No," she shrugged a bare shoulder. "I like them. In fact, they're the thing I like the best about me. They make me feel proud of the things I've done."

"Inventing magic," he said.

"Yeah. Each scar has a story behind them and they remind me that I'm human. My roommates ask me why don't I use an ointment or a cream or whatever to cover them up, to make them less visible, but I don't find the point in that. I'm not ashamed of them. They're a part of me. People look at me me anyway."

He agreed with this. "Your scars...don't get offended...but...they give you a certain...toughness to you."

"Is that a bad thing?" she asked bluntly.

"No. it suits you. you have this whole...'don't-fuck-with-me' kind of air about you. it goes well with your looks," he said in a rush.

A small smile came on her face. "Thanks,"

"But are enjoying yourself?" He changed subjects.

"As best as I can I suppose…balls…formal occasions…they really aren't my thing. This is the first time I've gone with someone who isn't trying to snog me at the end of the night or place his hands on my arse or something so I guess that's a perk…but…I don't know. Sometimes I just need to take a break from everything."

His eyebrows drew together. "Is everything all right?"

Rowan's eyes darkened slightly. "I'm sure it is. I'm just…temperamental that way I guess. Sometimes it just gets too much and I don't know. It's nice to get away from it."

She did not explain the suddenly odd vibes she was receiving from his brother. That was the _last_ thing on earth she wanted to talk to him about.

But to her great surprise, Regulus then asked, "Is my brother treating you right?" in a very serious voice.

This caught her off guard. "Pardon?"

"Is," it was an effort to just say his name for Regulus, "Sirius treating you right? He hasn't been trying any funny stuff?"

"Oh no! everything is fine as it can get with him. Of course the fan club kind of hates me but he's been a nearly perfect gentlemen the entire night."

"Nearly perfect?" Regulus narrowed his eyes.

Rowan understood what conclusions Regulus might have jumped too. She quickly clarified, "Oh nothing like that, you know, sometimes he taps into his inner idiot in himself and says things that make me want to slap him on the back of the head. Like saying I need a boyfriend or something equally ridiculous like that,"

"Oh,"

"Why do you ask?" Rowan was curious.

Regulus shook a dark lock of hair out of his eye. "Because. I don't now what my brother has told you about the family and you may have heard…a very different view on it and he may have said our mum is a bit mad…and in some respects she is…but she and my father also raised us to respect women. And to treat them right."

Sirius had not told them this. "Oh," she replied taken aback. "That's…"

"We come from an old family, reputation is everything and no one will marry off their daughter to boys who don't know how to treat them correctly. At least, that's what my parents say. For me in general I think chivalry is dead and that you girls often get the short end of the stick with things…especially with all this "free love" crap being espoused everywhere…what a bunch of dung…" Regulus began to rant.

A faint smile appeared on her face. Who knew? Regulus could be funny. It was kind of amusing seeing him go off on a random tangent. Now he was talking about how he despised hippies because apparently they did not shower every day. Or so he thought.

"…I mean can you honestly go a day without showering? Showering is brilliant! How can those lumpheads go without cleaning themselves? Honestly…seriously. At least England doesn't have as many hippies as America does…if I was forced to live there I would not fare very well…"

"You do realise that not everyone in America is a hippie? And all hippies don't shower everyday. I'm sure you'd come across on who showers every day. Maybe even twice." Rowan pointed out reasonably.

Regulus stopped mid-rant. He looked at her with a foolish expression. Then his eyes narrowed. "Must you be reasonable…all the time?"

"I have my moments," she said with a little smile.

He eased himself against the desk and studied her for a moment. "Are you going to miss this place?" he asked after a beat.

He was in an odd mood tonight, Rowan thought. But then again she did not know him really all that well. But for some reason, she felt that she could be totally candid with him. Maybe it had to do with the fact that she felt that he held this old man look to his eyes. Well maybe not old man, but philosopher like, like Nietzsche kind of old man look in his eyes.

"No. Not really." She finally answered.

Surprise illustrated his features. "Really?"

"Yeah. I mean, don't get me wrong I learned a lot here, and I've made friends who I love very much…but…for me this place is just a reminder…I don't know. This place has always had a goal in site, to finish school and be properly certified. And now that goal is here. You move on afterwards."

"This school reminds you of what?" He pressed.

She paused for a long minute. "Of my home. My real home."

"You miss Romania?" he did not expect this. "With all of the chaos and trouble and insane communists?"

She chuckled a little bit. "Yeah I do. Romania has always been my home, it's been my families home for hundreds of years. Don't get me wrong, England is nice and all and London is lovely…but it's hard for us, Roma to live here. We're not really…accepted by most of society. Do you know how hard it is for us to get a job?"

"But isn't that the same case in Romania?"

"It is, but there's more of us there. There's strength and a safety in numbers. Here we're very small. We have refugee status, those of us who come with that visa and I don't know. I've always felt like a bloody charity case. I don't like feeling like that."

"No one would." He agreed.

She shrugged indifferently shaking her head. "Plus seven years is an awful lot of time to spend in school…I've just always had my eye on the prize. Get out and get gone."

"And do what?"

"Travel. See the world. Study with foreign witches and wizards, learn more magic. There's different ways of learning, not just books. Besides, upon finishing school here isn't it normal for people to tour the world to learn from others?"

"It is…but most of us now try and shoot to get a job,"

"Yeah…I don't think that's gonna work out very well. When I sat for career consultation with McGonagall back in the fifth year she sent me out of her office,"

"Why?"

"Because she asked me what I wanted to do for a career and I told her I had no idea what I wanted to be, nor did I have any career aspirations. Well no, I did have one." She corrected.

"What was it?"

"To conquer the world with an army of hippograffs, apparently that is _not_ a an appropriate career choice. She didn't take too kindly to it."

"I'll bet," Regulus snorted.

"So yeah. I really don't know what exactly I'm gonna do with myself but that's ok."

"You're a seventh year, have no clue about your future and it doesn't scare you?" Regulus asked amazed.

"Nope,"

"Why?"

She waved a hand. "You don't have to all the answers to life right away. The answers are out there, it's just not the right time for me to see them,"

Something about the way she said this, and with that fierce yet languid look that always graced her, made him smile at this. "You're right. How come you always seem to have an answer to everything then?"

"I don't. I just try the best I can. Take it day by day you know," she replied.

"Yeah. I know. I ought to take a leaf out of your book,"

"You ought to take a couple of entire chapters out my book mate. You look like you need more fun in your life,"

"Pardon?"

"Well you're very handsome Regulus but you kind have this air of an old man whose been sitting on top of a hill for the last century, in the wind. When was the last time you went out and did something stupid just for laughs?"

"About five minutes ago when I face planted on the floor before you," he promptly replied trying to process the fact that she had called him "handsome."

"Besides that,"

He racked through his brains. "I don't know. What do you do for fun?"

"Hurl water balloons off the Astronomy Tower with a home made catapult,"

"That was _you_?"

"Oh yeah. And the rest of the boys." She answered referring to the marauders.

Regulus shook his head. "Sorry but I rather like not spending my evenings in detention."

"You only get detention if you don't get caught," she corrected.

"Well then you must get caught an awful lot! I heard you have set the record in this school for being in the most detentions."

"Most of those were due to property damage I've inflicted on the school unwittingly when I'm tinkering on magic," she said indignantly.

"Sorry. Either way I don't like spending time in detention."

"Well some times, having fun is worth spending time in detention," she countered.

"Like when?" Regulus asked sarcastically.

"Ever start a food fight?"

"No,"

"That's one. Another one is telling the new first years that it's tradition to dye their hair in their house colours for the first day of lessons,"

"YOU were the instigator of that?"

She just gave him a look that said, "P_lease. I do a lot of thing,"_

"What other chaos have you wrecked on this place?" Regulus threw his hands up in his hair.

"Well I wouldn't call it chaos…but I call it a good natured snub really…word of advice even though I don't think it'll do you any good…do _not_ go into Divination class with a paper fortune teller."

Regulus ducked his head down as his shoulders shook from laughing. "I bet Wisterlane loved that one."

"Well she seemed to find it slightly less offensive than when I advised her to have her Inner Eye tested…she chucked me out of class for that one and gave me detention for a month and a half…"

"But in all fairness she's a pretty poor teacher. In fact Divination as whole seems to be a very woolly subject, I mean, why the hell would you want to predict the future using such half arsed methods that are utterly…well. Unreliable?"

"Don't you take Arithmancy? Aren't you trying to divinate stuff there too?" He raised an eyebrow.

"Yes…BUT…in Arithmancy, we're applying much more rigorous and mathematical approaches to predicting the future, whereas in divination it's just a bunch of fumbling around in the dark and doing a lot of guessing. Arithmancy is much more technical." She said stressing the wonders of Arithmancy.

"Why did you sign up for predicting the future in the first place? Did you not just tell me that we didn't have to have all the answers right now?" Regulus retorted.

"I didn't sign up by choice! My parents made me! They thought divination would be an asset to the rest of our gypsy magic. You know the stereotype that we're a bunch of fortune tellers? Yeah well turns out it's half true. A good number of us can go into trances and infer things. Unfortunately, it's not me. Arithmancy was just something I signed up for because I had no interest in magical creatures, ancient runes or whatever else electives there is."

"So you told Professor Wisterlane to have her Inner Eye checked?"

"Yeah. Among other things."

"Like what?"

"Starting a chain of howlers," Rowan grinned remembering that. That had been a good one.

Regulus muttered something under his breath, shaking his head. "You're mad, you know that. You're brilliant. But mad."

"Those two usually go together," she airily relied. She glanced at the clock. "Five minutes was over ten minutes ago. We have to get back. People will wonder what the hell happened.

And by people, they both knew it was their respective dates. Romantic or non romantic, both would make a scene.

Disappointed, he stood up. She was right. Still. He wanted to spend more time talking with her. He was having a very nice time.

"Hopefully we can slip back in unnoticed. You should go in first. If karma is being favourable to us they'll be a sappy slow song playing and it'll be dark and shit and we can return without a fuss." She spoke as they left the classroom.

Turns out karma wasn't quite in the mood to be favourable to them. They hadn't even walked ten steps down the corridor before an incredulous voice asked,

_"What are you lot doing?"_

* * *

_A/N: *evil grin* As you can tell I enjoy tapping into my inner slytherin quite a bit...**be good and please review! xoxoxo**  
_


	27. Ensuite

_A/N: Ooookkk I meant to get this out sooner but I've been fairly busy packing up my stuff (again) as I'm moving (again) this week and for the umpteenth time I've realised I have way too much crap. Anyway! Thank you for all of your support and of course the reviews! They're lovely and I will get back to you once things settle down a bit. Cheers!_

* * *

Rowan and Regulus froze. Regulus immediately began panicking and Rowan felt like a unicorn being caught in the light of a wand.

"Stuepfy!"

_Thud._

"What did you do that for?" Regulus asked stunned in a loud whisper. Why the heck he was whispering, he did not know.

"I don't know! I just. panicked."

"You panic and the first thing you do is stun someone?" Regulus gave her an exasperated look.

"Sorry!"

Both of them approached the figure. Rowan grimaced seeing the familiar dark head.

"Shampoo mate. It's called shampoo and it's not that expensive. It'll do wonders for you," she said starting down at the stunned Snape.

"Hey..." Regulus warned her.

She muttered something. "C'mon Regulus! I bet you could fill a bottle with all the grease that's in his hair."

"Still. It's not nice." She rolled her eyes. He then added, "Even if it's true."

Rowan smiled in spite of herself. Rather gracefully she crouched down, adjusting the folds of her dress so she wasn't in a less than dignified position and pointed her finger at Snape's temple, leaving just a centimetre or two between his skin and her finger. Like she would _touch_ him.

"_Ennervate_," she said in her head.

Snape's eyes fluttered open. Regulus looked highly impressed. "Damn, you're really getting good at wandless magic! You can do non-verbal magic now!"

"Mind over matter mate, it's all about mind over matter. That's where the power comes from. All in your head." She replied studying Snape who was coming about.

"What the hell are you two doing together?" Snape hissed scrambling to his feet.

"What are you doing out here?" Rowan countered.

"I'm leaving that blasted dance!" Snape looked angry. "Regulus, seriously have you lost your head? Spending your time with the likes of—"

He was interrupted by the murderous glare of his friend. "Be careful of how you finish that sentence Severus…" he growled.

Rowan was taken aback by this, he had stuck up for her. That was new. No Slytherin, or actually anyone out of Gryffindor house had ever stuck up for her in these types of situations.

"You're playing with fire you know that. What would your mother say if she knew you were keep company with her,"

That's it. She had had enough. Without a second thought or giving either time for anyone to react she had pointed a finger at Snape and shouted "_Obliviate_!" in her head.

Snape stopped talking and a dreamy look came over his face and his eyes unfocused.

"Rowan!" Regulus began reproachfully. "Did you just…"

"Wipe his memory of this? Yeah." She briskly replied rearranging the folds of her dress.

"Why aren't you in Slytherin again? You're awfully efficient when it comes to saving yourself,"

"It's called survival-ism. Survival of the fittest. Life's a bitch and if you aren't careful it's gonna screw you over. " She replied shortly. "And I'm not in Slytherin because the hat didn't put me in it."

She did _not_ tell him that the stupid hat had suggest she could be destined for "greatness" (whatever _that_ meant) if she was in Slytherin. She also did not tell him that she had argued furiously with the blasted thing to put her in any house but that one. Even Hufflepuff.

"What should we do?"

"Let him go as he was. I just modified that bit of his memory. He'll wander back to wherever you lot live."

"Well rest assured it is not the dungeons." Regulus mumbled.

"Good to know. And here I thought all of you lot slept in coffins," she teased.

The sudden switch in her demeanour caught him off guard. She had just done a quick spin from the "don't fuck with me" mood to making a joke.

"So back to the dance then….see this is why I don't like going with dates, if I had just gone with my original plan and had gone stag I could have just peaced out after this little occurrence…but noooo, we're obligated to being polite and all that stuff…" she rambled.

He wasn't quite listening. He was too busy trying to digest all the events that had just transpired. There was something…he hesitated to use the word "dark" here…but there was something definitely grey, ambiguous about her.

Dangerous.

That was the word.

There something… inherently dangerous about her. She was like a scalpel, and honed razor sharp as well. Delicate but dangerous.

_There we go_, Regulus internally had a little party in his head at finding the appropriate description for her.

He was so busy in his head he did not register her pausing by the entrance of the ballroom. "Well…"

"Huh? Oh."

A small smile appeared on her face. They were lucky, a slow song was playing. "So…I suppose…have a nice holiday then Regulus…merry Christmas and happy new years and all of that good stuff,"

"You know…you can be a little sentimental when wishing someone a merry Christmas. it doesn't make you an emotional cream puff." He said casting a careful eye at the darkened ballroom.

"Emotional cream puff?" She wrinkled her nose. He found this endearing on her for some reason. It softened her sharp features briefly.

"Or something equally soppy and disgusting," he added.

"See you're capable of being funny. Why aren't you capable of having fun?"

"I am!" he whispered indignantly. "I just don't want to end up in detention."

"Yeah well when we return from holiday, you and I are gonna have to work on that…"

_You and I are gonna have to work on that_, she said. As if they were almost friends. Of course she was probably just saying this, she didn't really mean it…

But still he repeated, "We are?"

"Oh yes, we are," she answered easily. She said this so confidently, as if they were going to see each other outside of their walks from Duelling Club.

Even if it never happened, he thought it was quite nice of her to be this amicable to him. He wasn't sure what made him do it, but he stretched out a hand and tentatively touched the back of hers. "Hey,"

"Yeah?"

"Merry Christmas. And have a Happy New Year's ok?" he wished her sincerely.

A smile bloomed on her face. "You too Regulus. Merry Christmas and Happy New Year's. I'll see you when the new term starts," she told him again, except there was a note of sweet earnestness in it that wasn't there the first time.

Rowan gave him a little wave and then ducked into the ballroom. He waited a couple beats and then followed in suit, slipping back towards the Slytherins sat. it was still dark and the song was still going on thankfully. He wondered if Tanya had noticed his prolonged absence.

* * *

Sirius certainly did notice Rowan's less than brief disappearance. He gave her a sharp look. "What took you so long?"

"Got hold up in the loo by your insipid fan club," she said blithely sliding into her seat.

"You got held up in the loo," he checked his watch. "For twelve minutes?"

"Anal much?"

Sirius narrowed his eyes and she gave him a cool look of her own. He did not want to get in a row with her now, not with the night being nearly perfect.

The only thing that would have made this night perfect would be if Sirius could kiss her, but he knew she'd probably slap him or ask him where he lost his marbles.

"What's got your brain in a cramp?" she asked. Whoops. All the brooding he was doing, it must have shown on his face.

"Nothing out of the usual. Life. You know."

"Yeah, I know. Life can be a regular son of a bitch," she replied.

"Yeah well, it helps to have good friends," Sirius said looking out of on the dance floor.

"Life is an awful, lonely place not to have a friend," Rowan agreed.

"Well thank god I've got you then," Sirius looped an arm around her shoulder settling more comfortably in his seat.

They shared one last dance before Rowan took off her shoes and declared that she was never wearing high heels again and she was done with going to dances. To Sirius' disappointment she did not stay till the end, slipping out again just before midnight. Where she had gone they had no idea because when the rest of the group trooped up to the Common Room she wasn't there and she wasn't in the dorm.

"That girl," Marlene shook her head.

"She does what she wants, when she wants to, you know her," Peter pointed out reasonably.

"Yeah we all know her," Remus grumbled flinging off his jacket. "I am never dressing up fancy ever again,"

"But you looked so nice!" Marlene protested.

Remus muttered something under his breath. He bided them good night and continued to chunter under his breath as he traipsed up the Boys Staircase. Marlene couldn't help but chuckle at the back of him. He was so amusing sometimes.

One by one they said good night until only Sirius was left, a solitary figure stretched out on the couch in front of the fire place. It was a miracle he did not get ambushed by any fan girls as people continue to return from the ball.

It was stupid, waiting up for her. she'd come on her on time and even if he or any one of them asked her any questions she wouldn't answer them if she didn't feel like it. Rowan was sometimes damn irritating that way, he grumbled to himself.

Closing his eyes he stretched his arms over his head and got more comfortable in the couch. He was thinking way too much about her. He was over thinking. That wasn't good. Over thinking was for brain-iacs like Lily. Sometimes Sirius wondered if Lily's brain overheated with all the thinking and studying she did.

That being said, she, was without a doubt, one of the brightest witches in the air, if not, the brightest when it came to theories and books and all that sort of rubbish.

Though he got on James' case with how sappy and sentimental he was when it came to being around Lily, in private, Sirius was actually…quite _envious_ of the pair of them. It had not been an entirely easy road for the two of them to get where they were now, but it was worth it. When you saw them together, you knew instantly that together they were better than without each other.

Both of them were some of the best people Sirius had the pleasure of knowing, and as a couple, their brilliancy as people just amplified. He wondered idly if James loved her. Of course, he knew that James had fancied her very much, and he was extremely fond of her, and he often use to bemoan that he was in love with her when she still spurned his advances back then, however there is a difference between being in love with someone and being _in_ love with someone, with you saying "I love you," to them.

Had James said those three words yet? Sirius made a mental note to ask him.

He himself had never said, "I love you" to anyone. He had never been in love. The few members of the ex-girlfriends club were never long enough for him to seriously contemplate the idea of becoming serious with them. He had not had any interest in being in a committed relationship back then.

He still had zero interest in being in a relationship now, there was too much stuff going on, too many problems.

Problem number one: NEWT's

Problem number two: Figuring out what the hell he was supposed to do after school ended

Problem number three: He was homeless

Problem number four: He had no money

Problem number five: He was attracted to one of his best friends.

Problem number six: It was his one of his said best friends.

Problem number seven: Peter's unbearable snoring.

The list went on. Sirius ticked them off on his head as it grew longer and slightly more ridiculous. Problem number sixty-five included completing the "150 Things I'm Not Allowed To Do At Hogwarts" list.

He had reached problem ninety-eight when he mind strayed over to her again. Goddamnit, she was always in his bloody head now.

Again. He had never been in love before, and he did not have the foggiest clue as to what it meant or what it felt like. He did not think he was in love with Rowan. No. not at all. Attracted yet? Curious? Very much so. But in love with her? not so much.

Perhaps it was just lust. Or a very intense crush. It was only natural seeing as they had been friends for so long.

She was definitely beautiful, the various voices in his head, agreed. Lust would not be such a ridiculous option to elect when it came to describing how he felt about Rowan whatever- her- unpronounceable middle name was Forlani.

No he did not want to be in a relationship with, or anyone for that matter. He just _wanted_ her.

Yeap, it was definitely lust, he decided turning over on his side.

Right about then, Rowan herself clamoured through the Portrait Hole and bypassed him and the couch, making a beeline straight to the Girl's Staircase.

"Oi!" he called out.

Whirling around, she leant on the banister, giving him an easy smile. "Hey yourself,"

"Where'd you disappear off too?"

"Oh you know. Places. I needed to get out of my head for a bit," she replied.

"Get out of my head" was a phrase she used often to describe her moods. None of them knew exactly what it meant though. However, they've come to understand it as something that usually her holed up by herself somewhere doing something to help her get out of her head, whatever _that_ meant.

"I think we all need to get out of heads," Sirius grumbled thinking of their exams and such.

She laughed. "Yeah well that's what the holidays are for dear. We're not going to be doing any studying. For once. Even Lily has agreed to that,"

"She _did_?"

"Yeah, Marlene and I threatened that we'd put the Imperius curse on her if she did so otherwise. We'd imperio her to have fun,"

"The things you'd do just to get out of studying…"

"Well it is the holidays! Even Lily's brain needs a break!"

"True,"

"What are you doing down here on the couch? Shouldn't you be in bed?"

"Shouldn't you be in bed?" He tossed back.

"Ah yes I should, in fact that's where I'm going. Toodles!" and with that she spun around and waved an airy hand.

"Rowan!"

"What now?" she turned back again with a slightly annoyed expression.

"Have you ever been in love?" Sirius blurted out. He mentally face palmed himself. Why the hell did he go and have to ask that?

Surprise came over her face. Tilting her head, she studied him. "Yeah. Once."

"Gideon?"

"Mmmhm. But…" here she hesitated.

"But what?" Sirius asked curiously.

"I loved him…but I wasn't _in_ love with him." She confessed.

"There's a difference?" he asked bewildered.

A queer smile came on her face, "Oh yes Sirius. There's a difference," she said slowly staring out of the window.

He was very tempted to ask her what was the difference, but something told him, she'd tell him that she couldn't really explain it, that you would have to be in a relationship to experience it for yourself before understanding the difference. Instead he settled for gazing at her.

"Why do you ask these things?" she suddenly asked x-raying him with her eyes.

He shrugged. "Dunno. I guess being around James when he's all…you know. It just gets you wondering. That's all. I don't know squat about any of this rubbish."

"Don't worry, you will," she assured him.

"I will?" his eyebrow shot up.

"Sure," she replied easily. "Sirius, you're going to stumble across some incredible girl, who can keep you in check, keep up with you and will blow your mind out of your head one day. It'll happen when you least expect it too. And she's gonna to school you in all of this "rubbish", believe me."

"You make it sound like there's some kind of brilliant girl waiting for me out there,"

"That's because there_ is_. She's just waiting for you to find her that's all," she insisted.

"Right. Because that's _so_ easy…"

"Mind you, when you do find this girl, let me know so I can give her my approval. If she isn't as brilliant as you or James or anyone else in our group, aka Team Brilliant, then she's out," she warned.

Sirius let out a bark like laugh. "Duly noted,"

"I'm serious!" she called over her shoulder as she once again prepared to ascend the staircase.

"I know you are…hey. How will I know if I find her?"

She glanced over her shoulder at him, a knowing look in her eyes. "Don't worry mate, it's just one of those things that you just _know_, night love,"

"Night," Sirius watched her disappear and then inwardly bemoaned his growing list of problems.

_Yeah, I have ninety-nine problems and__** you're**__ definitely one of them_. He growled in his head. _And even though I already listed you once, you're such a big problem that you deserve two or even three spots on the list._

* * *

Lily awoke to a tapping on the window. She moaned and rolled over. The tapping grew louder.

"Stop the tapping," Marlene groaned burying her head under her pillow.

"Don't wanna get out of bed."

"Then get Ro to do it."

"Ro is currently semi-dead," Lily sighed referring to her mate's state of sleep.

The tapping grew more insistent.

"Augh! This is bloody annoying. What is it?" Marlene complained.

Lily sighed and reluctantly got out of bed. She blinked and rubbed her eyes. To her utter surprise she saw an owl at their window.

She undid the latch and opened the window, shivering as she felt a blast of cold air hitting her. The owl flew in and deposited a letter on Rowan's head who didn't even budge. Then it zipped out of the window.

Shutting the window Lily stalked towards Rowan's bed and studied the handwriting on the envelope. It was unfamiliar and it only said Rowan's name. Curious.

She put it on Rowan's bureau and stumbled back to bed. She was too tired to give the letter any more thought.

When Rowan finally awoke sometime in the afternoon she rolled over and saw that she was the only one in the dorm. She looked over at the clock on her bureau and spotted the envelope propped up against it. Furrowing a brow, Rowan reached over and sank back into bed opening it.

It only contained a piece of parchment with a few lines.

In neat block letters it said, "_I didn't get a chance to say this to you last night, because I didn't want to make you uncomfortable or look stupid in front of you, and you'll most likely think that this note itself is stupid_, _but_ _you looked really lovely last night_,"

At the bottom it only had an "R".

Rowan felt a funny feeling wash over her and she carefully folded the letter and reached for a box underneath her bed. In it were letters and things of all sorts, things she deemed important or saved because it held sentimental value to her. Rowan placed Regulus' note in that box and then thoughtfully closed the box.

Things just got curiouser and curiouser.

* * *

_A/N: Show your favourite pair of brothers some love and **please review! xoxoxo**_


	28. Holidays

_A/N: **Thank you everyone for your amazing support and reviews.** I really appreciate those of you who take the time to leave a review as it just makes my day. They really ought to put more options in the whole listing the main characters in the story summary as nowadays it ought to be Sirius/OC/Regulus... *grumbles* ANYWAY. Enjoy and review please!_

* * *

Rowan didn't put any more thought or dedicate any brooding to Regulus' note. Instead she just shoved her homework aside temporarily and relaxed enjoying having the run of the Gryffindor Tower and the castle itself to herself and the group. James and Sirius had a great deal of fun sliding down the banisters without having to run into any students. The Marauders also made many runs to the kitchen to stock up on sweets and snacks to supply everyone since they were all staying up and well, as Remus declared, "It's holiday time, sweets are a must,".

Seeing as they were the few Seventh Years left, Dumbledore allowed them to visit Hogsmeade freely throughout the week and they spent many afternoons happily at the pub. Sirius suggested that on Christmas night they all get good and drunk and "make incredibly stupid decisions," because it was their last year and it was always fun to get drunk minus the terrible hangover one experienced the next day.

They were all at least seventeen of course, and being of age they could indulge in a couple of drinks at the pub, but coming back drunk to the castle was a huge no-no so the group agreed on Sirius' suggestion even though Rowan privately thought nothing particularly good would come out of it.

At the moment, Rowan was engaged in a particularly brutal snowball fight. It was Lily, Marlene and herself against the boys and even though it there was only three of them, Rowan had enough energy and power in her throws to make up for the fourth person. Peter had already been on the receiving end of her snowballs and had bright red welts on his face from where he was struck. Now he was cowering behind the barrier Remus and Sirius had made.

"Augh they throw like guerrilla fighters!" Lily swore as she ducked. Quickly she packed snow into her hands and formed a neat snowball. She popped her head up and scanned the horizon. Coast was clear.

"Well…they are boys, and two of them are Quidditch players and they all work out to some extent," Rowan replied dryly. She had made one snowball and then caused them to magically multiply so that she had a small mountain of snowballs waiting to be thrown.

"I want to get them in the face, why are we hiding behind this barrier? We are such wussies!" Marlene exclaimed impatiently.

"We are waiting for the right moment to strike. Patience grasshopper," Rowan said eyeing the territory.

"And you know this because you just happen to be in the Wizarding Armed Forces?" Marlene said sarcastically.

"No. But two of my brothers serve in the Resistance Movement in Romania. So they passed on a lot of good life survival skills."

"Riiiigghhht."

"Okay. FIRE!"

Marlene whooped and dashed out from behind the barrier and hid against a tree. Scouting around she hurled the snowball towards Remus who stumbled.

"OI!" he shouted. Marlene laughed and made another snowball. James however was too quick and socked her in the stomach with one.

"Holy hell!" Marlene doubled down. Remus sent James a reproachful look and James shrugged as if saying "_All's fair in love and war_,"

"Run like hell Potter!" Lily yelled pelting him with snowballs. He twisted around and grinned.

"Oh so we're on last name basis again eh?"

"When we're fighting, yes!"

James changed tactics and tackled Lily to the ground. She shrieked as James rubbed some snow on her face and she twisted helplessly like a fish beneath him.

"We've got a P.O.W!" James yelled to the boys.

"HEY THAT'S NOT FAIR!" Rowan bellowed scooping up some more snow. Then she had an idea. She made a snowball and then said "engorgio" and the snowball multiplied in width and height, becoming a massive snowball. She grinned evilly and raised her wand hand tucking her wand in her back pocket. She had gotten quite good at mastering simple spells without her wand and felt more confident in her ability to focus more and more every day. And since she was behind the barrier, Lily captured and Marlene in no man's land, no one could see her.

She levitated the giant snowball with her finger and then directed to it towards where James was "interrogating" or rather trying to kiss her but since Lily was currently fighting against him she was turning her face to avoid his lips. It was a comical site. They did not however see the giant snowball floating towards them.

Sirius did however and his eyes widened. He knew of only one person who would do this kind of thing, Rowan. The little bugger.

Lily's eyes also widened when she saw a shadow being cast over them and saw a giant snowball hovering over them.

"Say goodnight," Rowan muttered under her breath and smiled. She let her hand drop and the giant snowball fell on top of the pair. Muffled shrieks and shouts were heard.

"All right man down! Woman down!" Sirius yelled scooping up some snow.

"Three against three, BRING IT!" Marlene screamed. Remus twisted around and saw her perched in a tree. He looked at her bewildered.

"It's a good look out spot," Marlene said. "And it's good to do this," She shook a branch and snow cascaded over Remus who was standing right beneath it.

"You're an evil lady Marlene McKinnion," he said.

"Cunning. I prefer cunning Remus Lupin," she replied.

Sirius zipped out from their mini fort and charged across no man's land with the intention of fully giving Rowan a dose of her own medicine. He leapt over their barrier and scared the shit out of her.

"Hello love!" Sirius grinned smashing the snowball in her surprised face. She yelled and scrambled to her feet. Wiping snow off her face she glared at him.

"You!"

"The one and only!"

"Argh!" Rowan hurled some snowballs at him and a few made contact. Sirius doubled over and Rowan took this opportunity to throw some more snow at him.

"Hey!"

"Surrender or else!"

"Or what?" Sirius challenged.

Rowan let out an ungodly guerrilla like shriek and charged him. Tackling him, she sent him to the ground and Sirius was too surprised to register that she was stuffing snow down his coat and shit and he grabbed her hands trying to fend her off.

"Surrender you butthead!"

"Never!" Sirius gasped. Rowan growled and tugged at his hair.

"Fine, have it your way," she said.

"No, have it your way," Sirius managed to get out and with a stupendous effort Sirius managed to get a hold of her and flipped them over so now he was on top of her.

"Okay. You want to play rough? FINE!" Rowan shouted. With strength that stunned him, she once again flipped them over so now she was on top of him. She shoved some more snow in his face.

This sequence of motion repeated itself, each trying to maintain dominance until they reached the top of small hill. Sirius was on top of her and both were wet and covered with snow.

"Surrender otherwise looks like we're going down the hill," Sirius told her breathlessly.

She glared at him and shoved her arms at his shoulders. "Say your prayers Sirius!"

With one last shove Rowan sent them snowballing down the hill and they turned into one gigantic snowball. In a tangle of limbs and snow Rowan and Sirius finally rolled to a stop at the bottom of the hill.

"Well done Rowan, really, well done." Sirius said in a muffled voice.

"Do you surrender yet you doof?" she replied trying to extract herself."

"How about peace instead?"

"So nobody wins?" Rowan said disappointed. Sirius nearly smiled at that.

"We both kind of win, and both kind of lose."

"Well what's the fun in that?"

"Do you want to keep fighting or get dry?"

A pause.

"Get dry,"

"Okay. So peace." Sirius finally got to his feet. He stuck out a hand to help her but she just looked at him and got up herself.

"Man you never quit do you?" Sirius said laughing shaking his head.

""Course not. Survival of the bloody fittest." She replied.

"Ok…so peace?"

She wrinkled her nose and Sirius found this endearing. She was standing so close to him. Close enough for him to…

"Fiiiiinnnnne let's settle for bloody peace," she sighed. She stuck out her hand and instead of shaking it, Sirius grabbed it and pulled her towards him. He cuffed his other arm around her neck and brought her close

"Peace," he told her. He then pressed a kiss on her temple.

He wanted to kiss her right then and there but something told him she wouldn't like that. But Rowan registered something different, the temple was different than the cheek. It was like the forehead, it was a more intimate place. It was more…couple-ly.

She also was suddenly struck by how close they were and how couple-ly that looked as well. Something came a little undone at that and she was finding that she didn't like this one little bit.

No she didn't like it all. She didn't like what she was feeling which was a mixture of apprehension, disbelief, annoyance and stupid fluttery, girly feelings. She hated the stupid fluttery girly feelings. He was her _friend_ for god's sake. He was Sirius effin Black.

To solve this feeling of discomfort she gently disentangled herself from him and took a step or two back from him. Something in Sirius' face made her almost regret putting this distance between them. _Almost. _But she ignored this.

If she knew boys, and she knew quite a bit about them having grown up with three older brothers and having listened to them rant about their respective love lives, she knew what went on boy's heads. And she did not want to go down that road. That would only lead to trouble. Dusting snow off herself she said, "Let's go, wonder if Lily and James got out of the big arse snowball."

"Can't believe you did that…why you'd do that again?" Sirius said shaking his head and his thoughts of their moment earlier.

"Sirius, really?" Rowan just looked at him.

"Right. 'cos you're evil." He said.

"Ingenious mate. Ingenious."

"Ok. But you're mad at the same time. You're brilliant, but you're mad."

"Well those two go hand in hand together you know?"

* * *

On Christmas day, Lily awoke with a start. With a silly grin on her face she hopped out of bed and shoved her feet into her slippers and slipped on dressing robe. She glanced out the window. It was still dark.

Then she glanced at the clock. It was only six in the morning!

Man Rowan wouldn't be pleased to be woken out of bed at this time. But she shrugged and jumped on Marlene's bed and jostled her.

"Marly, wake up!" she whispered.

Marlene's eyes shot open and she shot up. She too was excited about Christmas. "Merry Christmas Lily!" she hugged her roommate.

"Let's go to the boys!"

"Good luck on waking Ro,"

"Oh yeah. Well. Hm." Lily got up and made her way to Rowan's bed. She was fast asleep. Lily gently shook her and she didn't stir.

"Man she really is dead when she sleeps huh?" Marlene said combing her hair quickly.

"Yeah. She rarely gets good sleep so when she does, even it's for four hours, she sleeps like she really is dead." Lily shook her harder. No response.

"Well…we can't just leave her here," Marlene pouted.

"We prolli could, she wouldn't mind actually."

"But it'd be so much more fun if we dumped her on Sirius's bed!" Marlene said evilly as the idea came in her head.

"Oh, much more fun. Why Marlene I had no idea you were so…"

"Devious?"

"That's about it."

"Let's vamoose!"

Armed with their Christmas presents they had shoved in a sack, the pair of them marched down the staircase with Lily levitating the sleeping Rowan in front of her.

"She looks…so calm," Marlene commented.

"A rare thing," Lily replied keeping her eyes trained on her third roommate.

Lily and Marlene breezed into the Boys Dormitory and Marlene magically opened the curtains with her wand, but it made no difference anyway, it was still dark.

"Wake up! MERRY CHRISTMAS!" Lily announced setting the sack of presents down with a thud.

"Sod off you evil gnomes," someone replied sleepily.

"Gnomes!" Marlene cried. She stamped her foot.

"Go away. We're not open yet," Peter mumbled snuggling further into his bed.

"Wake up or no Christmas make-outs," Lily threatened leaning over James' sleeping figure.

"Oh c'mon now? Really?" James groaned. He sat up and blinked blearily. He let out another groan when he saw it was still dark.

"For chrissake Lils, the sun isn't up yet!" he looked at her annoyed. She handed him his glasses and he reluctantly pulled them on. She gave him a soft pout and he softened.

"But don't you want your presents?"

"Can't I just kiss you instead?"

"Brush your teeth first and maybe we can work something out,"

He muttered something but stumbled out of bed anyway. Yawning he banged into the bathroom and Lily heard the faucet run and satisfied she flopped back into his bed.

"Uh girls…?" Peter asked who was awake now.

"What?"

"Why is Rowan in the air?"

"Oh my goodness!" Lily whipped out her wand and levitated Rowan towards Sirius' bed. She gently set her down next to the still sleeping Sirius and Rowan didn't even stir.

"Padfoot is going to _love_ this extra Christmas bonus," James grinned feeling less sleepy now that he brushed his teeth and washed his face.

"I just want to get a rise out of her,"

"Don't we all?" Lily replied. James slid an arm around her and she showed him which presents were from her.

"Open yours!"

"If you open yours first,"

"Remus wake up!" Marlene said loudly. He mumbled something in response and Marlene huffed as she strode over to his bed. Her boyfriend Caradoc had gone home for the holidays and she was finding that she didn't mind this at all in the least. She was beginning to wonder if this was bad thing. She prodded the sleeping boy.

"C'mon love, it's Christmas. Get up!" she shook him harder. A hand floated out and swatted her arm out.

Marlene saw no choice but to shove him off the bed.

_Thud._

"Hey!" Remus looked at her crossly. She smiled craftily and Remus sighed. If she weren't the girl of his dreams he would have been more irritated. But since she was, he relented.

"Marlene McKinnion, I despise you," he said getting up and stretching.

She eyed the interesting stretch of skin that was revealed when his night shirt rode up. Then she mentally slapped her wrist. She had a boyfriend for crying out loud!

"Nope, you know you love me," she cheekily said pushing the errant thoughts aside making herself comfortable on his bed.

_If only you knew how bloody true that was_, Remus sourly thought as he made his way into the bathroom.

After splashing water on his face and brushing his teeth, (if it was good enough for James to do it, then he'd do it. Afterall, Marlene was sitting on his bed. The last thing he wanted to do was have bad breath! ) he leaned against the doorjamb and studied the scene before him.

"Why is Rowan is Sirius' bed?"

"Oh we levitated her up here. She's dead asleep." Marlene explained.

"But why be evil and put her in Sirius' bed?"

""Cos it's fun to be evil?"

"Careful what you say Marlz, the Death Eaters in training like to hear those kind of things, they'll come knocking on your door. Or rather, they'll bang down your door." Lily said.

"Ha! Never. They'd have to kill me first before I'd join them." Marlene replied stoutly.

"You best hope that never happens Marlene," James grinned although there was a note of seriousness in his voice.

To get off this subject Lily snuggled closer to him and handed him a neatly wrapped box. His eyes lit up and he turned it over in the box.

"It's small," he shook it. "It doesn't rattle or make noise,"

"Just open it would ya?"

James tore open the wrapping paper and opened the box. Neatly stuffed inside it were two tickets. His eyes grew brighter.

"TWO TICKETS TO THE QUIDDIITCH INTERNATIONAL FRIENDLY! ENGLAND VS FRANCE!" He cried out in delight. Lily smiled widely at him.

"Yup! They had an early bird ticket sale and it's right after we finish school, so…"

"THIS IS THE BEST PRESENT EVER!" he hugged Lily in a bone-crushing embrace. She laughed.

Remus got up to examine the tickets and he shook his head. "Jeez, I have got to get a girlfriend!" he lamented handing the tickets back to his mate.

"I know. Good luck on finding someone as brilliant as Lily," James kissed her cheek happily still holding his tickets.

Amidst all of James' commotion, Sirius shifted in his bed and found himself bumping into something. Or rather _someone_. Sleepily he opened his eyes and they buggered out of his head.

There was a girl, in his bed

A girl. In his bed.

Fast asleep. Then the sleep cleared from his brain when he saw the familiar face.

_SHE_ was in his bed.

Fast asleep.

Struggling to clear the sleep from his brain he tried to remember what day it was. Did they already get drunk and make stupid decisions? If so then he made a_ very_ stupid decision.

"Morning mate," Remus said looking over at him. Sirius pointed at the sleeping Rowan.

"There's a girl in my bed Mooney," he said dumbly.

* * *

_A/N: Christmas is about to get a **lot** more interesting as I have some things up in the air for the next chapter...**be good please review! xoxoxo**_


	29. Christmas

_A/N: **Thank you thank you for your amazing support and reviews**. I will get back to you, I've just had an extremely rough weekend that has me still reeling from the events that transpired so this chapter is a little shorter but I promise the next chapter will make it up for it if you read the note down on the end...anyway! Here's the next chappie. Enjoy and please review!_

* * *

"I know."

"Rowan's in my bed Prongs."

"We know."

"Did I do something stupid last night?" Sirius raked his hands through his hair.

"You told her you loved her," Peter said keeping a straight face.

Sirius paled and he scrambled up against his headboard. " I did _WHAT_?"

"Ha! You are so into her," Peter pointed a finger into him.

"That we all know," Lily rolled her eyes. Although they haven't talked about it collectively, the group was under the general impression that their boy Sirius was growing fonder of Rowan more than ever.

Either Rowan was very, very stupid and didn't see this, or she did have a faint inkling and chose to ignore it for her own reasons. Lily and Marlene privately thought it was the latter. The boys, being boys, tended to think more along the first idea.

"Pardon me?" Sirius said properly awake.

"Sirius you fancy the panties off her!" James exclaimed. Lily made a face. He noticed this.

"What?"

"Nothing…I just don't like the word…panties," Lily said her face scrunching up.

"You don't? Why not?" James asked bemused.

"I dunno. I just don't. It just…irks me. It's like moist. Yuck." She shuddered.

James began sniggering. "Are you seriously telling me you don't like words because…."

"Because they're weird! And gross sounding!" Lily waved her hands. Remus also began smiling.

"You don't like the words, moist and panties?" He reiterated.

"No. I don't." she replied shortly.

"Panties, panties, panties," James begin to sing. Lily gave him a withering stare and scooted away from him.

"Moist, moist, moist," he continued to sing. Lily growled.

"MOIST PANTIES! MOIST PANTIES! MOIST PANTIES!" James sang even louder, full out chanting.

"Augh!" Lily shrieked and covered her ears with her hands. Marlene, Remus and Peter burst out laughing. James continued to chant and Sirius just looked at him strangely.

"You're off your rocker mate," he said decidedly sliding back into bed. He smiled faintly seeing Rowan still asleep.

* * *

"_Moist panties, moist panties, moist panties," _

_Who the fuck was singing this? _Her mind asked grumpily.

_What are you conscious right now?_ Another voice retorted.

_Because of that blasted singing!_

_Go back to sleep._

_You try and sleep through this dirty, icky sounding song!_

That's it. The voices were arguing too much, Rowan thought in her sleep.

Rowan cracked an eye open and saw Sirius looked bemusedly down at her.

"Morning love,"

"AUGH!" she shrieked and promptly rolled off the bed. She landed on the floor with a thud. Sirius laughed and bent over the bed and looked down at her.

"What did we do last night? Did we do anything!" she asked panicking.

"We banged each other," Sirius told her.

"We did? What day is it? I didn't get _that_ drunk!" Rowan exclaimed currently going bananas.

She heard someone sniggering. She popped her head up and saw Remus, James and a scowling Lily looking at her.

"If we did sleep together last night, what colour is my underwear?" she asked coolly.

Sirius blanched. "Erm….black?" he took a wild guess.

Damnit. She was wearing a black pair.

"What type were they?" she asked narrowing her eyes.

"Bikini style?" Sirius took another shot in the dark.

Ha! She was wearing a g-string. So they didn't sleep together!

"You Sirius Black are a first class liar," she promptly said slapping the back of his head.

"Merry Christmas to you too," he said rubbing his head.

"Okay, whose bright ideas was it to get up…at _seven o clock in the morning_?" Rowan asked her voice growing louder upon seeing the clock.

"Hers," Remus pointed at Marlene who looked shocked and pointed at Lily.

Lily rolled her eyes. "C'mon it's Christmas!"

"My god you say that _one _more time…" Rowan mumbled something under her breath. She crossed her arms over her chest feeling stupid standing in between James and Sirius' beds. She couldn't very well go back to sitting on the stupid git's bed now.

"Chocolate?" Remus offered trying to soothe her.

"Please," she grumbled accepting it and breaking off a large piece. Sirius poked her side and she spun around and looked at him.

"What?"

Sirius pointed at the chocolate bar hopefully. Rowan rolled her eyes but broke off another piece anyway and handed it to him. He opened his mouth.

"What are you, a dog?"

"Woof!"

"Git," she popped the piece in his mouth.

"Presents! Marlene exclaimed. Remus laughed and sorted through the neat stack of presents that the house elves had delivered.

"Here's your stack Ro," Marlene said sorting out the boxes with Rowan's name on it.

For a moment no one spoke as there was a good deal of noise coming from unwrapping tinsel. Lily loved the music box James gave her and Marlene squealed at the new scarf Remus had given her. She wrapped it immediately around her neck and continued to unwrap her gifts.

"I love it Remus, thank you!" she said giving him a huge hug. "It's glittery! And pretty!"

"Like you," he said not thinking. He froze. Marlene however flushed prettily and didn't say anything.

Rowan raised a brow at this exchange but said nothing. She began to study her own presents. She sorted those from her family aside opting to open them later when she was on her own.

"Aren't you going to open those?" Sirius asked her.

"Later," she answered vaguely. She focused her attention on the others. Sitting Indian style on the floor, she didn't just want to stand there like a doof anymore, she began unwrapping them.

"AAAAHHH A FIRST EDITION HEMINGWAY!" she screamed clutching the book in sheer delight. James' eyes twinkled. "Your welcome,"

"Thaaaaannnk you," she said flipping through the book softly.

"Open mine!" Sirius said scooching to edge of his bed.

"Is this a cherry bomb or something is going to explode or something that will cause some serious damage?" She asked warily.

"Just open it you silly goose!"

With great trepidation she opened the small bundle and opened her gifts. She smiled when she saw the rainbow coloured ink pot. "Aw thanks mate! This is so cool." She shook the bottle.

"The next one, the next one!" he urged her.

Rowan looked him strangely but opened it the next one anyway. Curious she opened the tiny box and her face softened upon seeing the unique looking pendent.

"Oh Sirius. This is lovely," she said in all sincerity holding it up so the blue jewel caught the light. "Thank you,"

"You're welcome. Merry Christmas Ro," Sirius said feeling pleased that she liked it.

"Put it one me?" Rowan said after debating a moment and deciding nothing was weird about it.

He obliged her and Rowan sat on his bed while he clasped the necklace behind on her neck. She felt herself smile feeling the coolness of the metal against her skin.

Marlene and James apprised the pair of them keenly but Rowan didn't appear to notice. Sirius did however and shot them death glares that said "_Don't you dare say anything about this!"_

"It looks good on you," Sirius said studying her. She grinned at him and gestured at a box. "Open this one!"

"Will something come out and attack me?"

"Maaaayybeeee,"

"Oh greeeaaaaaat," Sirius rolled his eyes but tearing at the wrapping paper anyway.

"WHOA!" he shouted bouncing up and down on his bed. Rowan bit back a grin.

It had taken her ages to create this. She got this idea way back in the fifth year after she had finished her Muggle Studies Essay on Engineering and muggle contraptions. She knew Sirius loved motorcycles and always wanted to have one, some day. And throughout her research for her project she came upon some books about motorcycles.

Peter liked to do model air plane scaling, which was building muggle airplanes on a tiny, perfect, miniature scale. It took time, patience and great care and Rowan had often spent many a night watching him work meticulously on them. Even though he was pure blood, he really enjoyed this muggle pastime and that got Rowan's cogs turning in her mind.

She decided, rather ambitiously to try and build a miniature model of a motorcycle. She had spent ages researching, diagramming, and hunting down and creating parts. Then it had taken her forever to assemble the bloody thing, paint it, shine it and all that good stuff.

But it was well worth it seeing the look on Sirius' face.

"Rowan…this is unbelievable!" he gaped studying the model closely and running his fingers over the seat and handlebars.

"Tap the accelerator with your wand," she said.

"Why?"

"Just do it."

Sirius gently prodded the accelerator with his wand and to his mighty surprise, the model motorcycle began to fly around the room.

"HOLY HELL!" Sirius exclaimed doubly surprised. James watched in appreciation.

"Man that's some good magic Rowan," Peter sighed.

"You should have been muggle born," Lily told her. "You could have been an engineer or something,"

"I know! Augh." Rowan sighed ruefully.

"This is amazing Rowan, really. Thank you so bloody much," Sirius hugged her tightly .

"You're welcome Sirius, merry Christmas. Someday maybe you'll get a real one," Rowan smiled.

"But for now this one will do, thank you. So cool," Sirius said watching his present zoom around the room.

Many presents later, the group enjoyed Christmas lunch and Hogsmeade once again. Everyone was in good tidings and Rowan breathed a bit easier knowing that nothing was out of sync or anything. She spent a good deal of time in the early evening running for her life as _someone_, *cough cough* James had enhanced some mistletoe to chase her and she swore she would lop his head off at the first chance.

"Bloody git," she swore stomping flat footed after she had evaded the blasted thing.

"You love him anyway," Sirius said lazily lounging in an armchair.

"Do I? Do I _really_?"

"Relax, we'll get you all boozed up and you won't remember it," Peter said.

"Oh right. We're getting sloshed tonight aren't we?" Rowan sighed flopping down beside the hearth.

"Too right we are! No studies this week and no one here but us!"

"Wonderful…."

* * *

Christmas evening the group was once again settled in the Boys Dorm armed with several bottles of assorted alcohol. Rowan was nursing a glass of mulled wine and James and Sirius had each taken a couple of shots of firewhiskey already.

"Music! We need music!" Marlene clapped her hands already tipsy.

"Padfoot," James nodded towards

"Yeah, yeah, yeah," Sirius ambled over towards his prized gramophone. Shifting his stance he cocked a head as he sifted through his record collection.

"Nice one," Rowan said appreciatively as Led Zeppelins IV came floating out.

"Favourite song by them?"

"Stairway to heaven,"

"Oh but that is so cliché!"

"I know, but that song has every emotion in it! Sadness, softness, power, thrill, everything!" Rowan protested.

"You shame me,"

"Okay fine, what's your favourite song?"

"Trampled Underfoot."

"That's good too but we all know that The Sex Pistols are a lot more badass,"

"Are you kidding me?" Sirius said flabbergasted.

Peter rolled his eyes. Now Rowan and Sirius would enter their world famous arguments about music that would involve a good deal of shouting and throwing of objects.

"Cheers love," James tipped his glass against Lily and smacked a kiss on her mouth. She giggled and ducked.

"You're a funny drunk,"

"Best kind there is!"

Marlene had started dancing around the room and Remus smiled watching her wistfully, Peter flopped back on his bed already tired.

They had been drinking steadily for about an hour and half and then Sirius declared he needed some entertainment.

"We could rappel off the Astronomy Tower," Rowan suggested.

"Too cold,"

"Go mattress sliding in the corridors?"

"I'm drunnnkkkkkk, I don't want to have to do anything that requires effort,"

"Remind me to never take you to a concert then when pissed," Rowan muttered.

"Annnnndd why is that?"

"Because moshing requires effort. You snooze, you loose. Or rather, you get trampled and end up in the hospital,"

"Yeah don't take me to a concert when I've been drinking," Sirius replied solemnly.

Rowan chucked an empty box of sweets at his head and he ducked, laughing. "You get feisty when you're drunk,"

"No, I get violent when I'm drunk, and I'm slightly tipsy now. Believe me, you lot do _not_ want to see me drunk. Unless you want to end up in a row."

"I want to end up in a row!" Peter announced bobbing up and down on his bed. He had a santa hat on his head and tinsel wrapped around his neck like a scarf.

"No you don't Petie," Lily smiled benignly. "Not with Ro you don't,"

"Yeah I do! A row with Ro! Row Ro, row , row, row, row your boat. Gently down the streeeaaaaammmmm," he sang off key.

"Merrily, merrily, merrily," James joined in.

"Life is but a dreeeeeaaaaaamm," Sirius bellowed standing on his bed and throwing his arms out like a conductor.

"Right now life is a nothing like a dream," Marlene gigged. Rowan pursed her lips and then casually nudged Sirius. He promptly fell off the bed.

"Hey!" He indignantly said.

"Couldn't help myself love, it was just too tempting," she said with a devious little smile.

"No fair, no fair!" he pouted.

"Can I just….put a silencing charm on you or something? You're an incessant chatterbox when you're drunk," Rowan said exasperated. She flopped back on his bed and threw an arm over her eyes. She was exhausted all of a sudden.

"And you're a world class downer," James stuck his tongue out at her.

Rowan continued to mutter darkly under her breath. Sirius in the mean time had appeared to forgotten all about Rowan shoving him off the bed. Instead he returned to his original point of wanting entertainment.

"Someone entertain me!" he whined.

"Oooo! Oooo! I know, we can play a game!" Marlene exclaimed.

"I like games!" Peter said happily.

"We should play truth!" She finished.

* * *

_A/N: You guys...if you know how truth works, then here's your chance to **throw in suggestions for what kind of questions they should ask each other!** Don't be shy, anything you want to know about the characters, here's your chance to get it out of them via truth! Suggest, and you shall receive.;) **Be good and review. xoxoxo**_


	30. Welcome To The Sub Party

_A/N: **HAPPY EURO 2012!** (For those of you who are following it) So excited to see how Holland and Germany perform today. Anyway, I had hoped to get this chapter out sooner but every time I finished it, it wasn't quite right...anyway. Pay attention readers as there's quite a bit of foreshadowing going on in this one. **Please review afterwards!**_

* * *

"Uh oh…I don't think you're going to like this game so much," Rowan said cringing at the prospective outcomes.

"What's truth?" Remus asked confused.

"Remus I really hope you know what the truth is," Lily said with a very grave expression. Her eyes were twinkling though.

"No, the game!"

"Well, the rule is simple, it's like truth or dare, except there is no dare, and the only rule is that you have to tell the truth," Marlene explained.

"What no dare? Where's the fun in that?" James cried quite drunk.

"Oh believe me. Sometimes the truth can be a lot, lot scarier," Lily said shaking her head.

"Count me out on this one mates," Rowan said already feeling that no good could come out of this.

"What! Noooooo you have to play," Sirius said grabbing her hand and wrenching back to the spot she was sitting.

"Oh boy here we fucking go," she sighed and leaning against Sirius' headboard.

"How do we win?" Peter demanded.

"To win, you have to ask a question to someone, and if you don't answer it, then you lose,"

"Well that sounds like a very easy way to win," James snorted.

Lily tutted. "Not so much, because it forces you to want to tell the absolute truth, every time because you want to win until someone breaks and backs down from telling the truth,"

"Ohhhhhh. James contemplated this. "Man. This is diabolical."

"This is a girl's game. Girls don't wail on each other. They wage psychological warfare," Marlene waved a hand. Lily nodded in her head in agreement.

"Well some girls do both," Rowan countered.

"Ok so let's play!" Sirius clapped his hands bouncing up and down on his bed.

"Right! I'll go first, ask me a question, anything!" Marlene chattered about well past drunk.

"Erm…favourite colour?" Peter asked tentatively. She crossed her eyes. "What kind of wuss arse question is that?"

"Okay fine…how many blokes have you made out with?" Peter asked knowing full well Marlene was a bit of a flirt.

"Off the top of my head….seven." she replied promptly. Sirius let out a hoot and Rowan shook her head trying not to smile.

"Tramp," Lily teased.

"You love me. James how old were you when you had your first kiss?"

"Twelve,"

Lily eyed him curiously and he shrugged. He took a swig of his drink and then directed his attention towards Sirius.

"Padfoot how far have you've gone with a girl?"

Sirius blushed and then said, "Second, second and a half base?"

"What exactly, is a half base?" Peter asked raising a brow.

"Well…it's not quite third but more than second? I don't know!" Sirius threw his hands up in the air.

"So you're a virgin?" Marlene asked interestedly.

"I suppose I am," Sirius reluctantly admitted. Rowan however found this bit of news quite intriguing.

"Rowan! Your turn. Traits you look for most in a bloke!" Lily demanded.

"Honesty, courage and the ability to defend himself, properly." Rowan rattled off not even batting an eyelash.

"What are you? Some medieval princess or 18th century aristocrat?" Peter asked sloshed.

"No I just know exactly what I want in my men," she replied evenly tossing her head. Sirius burst out laughing and she ignored this.

"Remus, what freaks you out?" Rowan inquired.

"…Garden gnomes, clowns and that muggle things called the escalator."

"You're afraid of garden gnomes?" Marlene sniggered.

"I'm not afraid of them, they freak me out. They look weird!"

"Pansy,"

"Shove off," Remus laughed and nudged her.

"Lily, is there anything you're allergic to?"

"Blackberries."

The game went out, round after round and they found out some very interesting things about each other. Rowan learned that James didn't speak until he was three, Peter couldn't tell time until he was eight, Sirius wanted to be a lion tamer when he was a child, Marlene loved the muggle film, _The Sound of Music_, Lily was deathly afraid of spiders and Rowan learned to speak English when she came to England.

She sighed and eased herself back against the headboard of Sirius' bed. Peter, who was quite drunk, stood wobbly on his bed and gestured with one hand to her, "Rowan, what is your worst memory?"

Rowan paused in the act of taking a sip of water she was holding. Her worst memory? God did she did _not_ want to answer that one.

"Time's a wasting!" Remus said impatiently.

"If you pass, you lose the game and you're out," Marlene piped in.

She hated losing. Really. She hated losing as much as she almost hated nine am classes. And she hated nine am classes, a lot.

"Fine. My worst memory…was when I saw someone die in front of me." She said vaguely.

A very heavy silence followed this.

"Follow up question!" Remus stuck in his air.

_"Of course…"_

"Who? What? When? Where?"

"That's four!"

"Answer them, or you lose!"

"Goddamnit fine. I was nine, it was in Romania, she was my friend, Katerina and some of the secret police or communists or whatever came into the village. They opened fire on us and…they massacred everyone in site."

"Opened fire?"

"They shot us,"

"Shot?" Sirius asked very confused. His alcohol filled brain did not understand a word he was saying.

"They used guns," she elaborated.

"What the heck is a gun?"

"A gun is a muggle weapon…think of it as a wand…but to harm or in most cases kill you," Lily explained.

"Sounds dangerous," Marlene shuddered.

"They are. And if you get shot it hurts like a sonofabitch," Rowan grumbled.

"You were shot?" Sirius demanded.

"They don't care if you're young or old, male or female mate. If they want you dead, they'll kill anyone,"

"How are you alive?"

"I was shot in the thigh, it just grazed me, not enough to kill me. Or so I've been told. Anyway. they came. They opened fire. Katerina and I ran. She didn't run fast enough," she ended mulishly.

"I'm sorry Rowan, that…I don't know what to say," Remus said with a mournful expression.

"There's nothing to say. It happened a long time ago. You process. You move on. I was a kid." She shrugged.

"But still…that's a lot of violence to be around in when you're a kid…"

"Yes well not all of us our dealt with the same hands of cards. Next question. Sirius Black. What would you consider are your three biggest flaws?" she shot at him so fast they were all caught off guard.

"Huh?"

"I said," she enunciated, "What would you consider are your three biggest flaws? The three _worst_ things about you?"

This was not a light hearted question. Truth wasn't all fun and silly questions. It could turn nasty, mean, cruel and heartbreaking. And right now she was feeling a little vindictive. The alcohol brought the edgier side of her.

"Oh," Sirius looked flustered. "Erm…three biggest flaws…anyone want to help me out?"

"Being a huge egotistical jackass?" James supplied.

"Your hair is too long," Marlene clucked.

"You never wear pants in the dorm!" Peter complained.

"All wonderful answers," Sirius said breezily. "And for the record I wear boxers in the dorm. I don't need no stinkin trousers once lessons are done,"

"The fan club will _love_ this tid bit," Lily said loudly.

"Answer the question you dolt," Rowan gave him a pointed look.

"Right! Biggest flaws…not clearly thinking of the potential of my actions…I brood too much and my temper. I get worked up over the stupidest things."

"Well at least you're fully aware of your flaws," James clapped a hand on his back.

"Are you kidding me? I have tons of flaws," Sirius snorted.

"Also a good thing that you're aware of them," Rowan dryly remarked.

"Peter…if there's any teacher you could turn into a dung beetle, who would turn?" Sirius turned his attention on Peter.

"McGonagall. The old hag drives me insane," he said without baiting an eyelash.

Marlene and Lily looked at him flabbergasted. Rowan snorted. "Follow up!" James shouted. "Why?"

"She's a tough teacher! She give us to much homework, she's forever getting on my case about my shirt not being tucked into my trousers and she doesn't think that much of me," he ranted.

"How do you know that?" Lily asked.

"She told me!"

"Oh,"

"Bitch has got to go!" Peter declared throwing his arms out.

"Don't say that," James reprimanded. "She's the Head of our House…"

"Yeah, yeah, yeah. Marlene, who do you think is the best looking boy in school?"

"Sirius of course," she replied promptly.

"Thanks love. don't let Caradoc hear that," Sirius raised his glass at her.

"Who do you find the best company?" Lily fired at her.

"Remus," Marlene answered without thinking. Remus flushed but she didn't notice. She was too buzzed to see Rowan duck her head down trying to hide her knowing smile.

"Better not let Caradoc hear that one as well," Sirius told her.

"I know, I know, Lillian, how far have you gone with James?" Marlene asked wickedly.

Everyone turned and looked at Lily. James grinned like a cat and passed a hand over his eyes. Lily turned bright red. Bugger.

"Second base…what?" James gave her an indignant look. "And a half," she amended.

Several hoots of laughter were heard. "Well that's no reason to turn red Lily calm down, sheesh," Rowan rolled her eyes.

"It is for me! I'm not like Sirius, or you!"

"Hey, I too have only been to second a half base. Or maybe second and three-fourths base come to think of it," Sirius thought.

Remus snickered and flopped back on his bed. Good god, the bed felt really good right now. So good in fact his eyes began to close…

"Rowan Forlani," Marlene trilled very drunk, "Are you a virgin?"

A pregnant pause followed this.

Rowan thought she didn't want to tell her worst memory. Nope. She'd rather tell more of her worst memories than answer _this_ one.

"No,"

Sirius mind screeched to a halt at this. He found that he didn't like this one little bit.

Lily and Marlene screamed and clumsily made their way to her. "What was it like?"

"That's not a truth question!" Rowan said protesting. "Next question! Remus John Lupin wake up! What are you afraid of the most?"

"Myself," he said flatly.

"The next question should be who she did it with, ask her that Mooney!" James whispered loudly.

"Does it look like I want to get my arse kicked on Christmas Prongs? Hell no."

"Good thinking Remus," Rowan agreed.

"Padfoot, if you could do anything in the world right now, what would you do?" Remus cocked his head.

Sirius' eyes wandered over to Rowan who was stretched out on his bed, her eyes closed, a small frown on her face. There was a lot of things he wanted to do right now.

He took a deep breath, his eyes flicking away from her for a moment, "Pass,"

The game continued on and on until it was nearly five in the morning. After Sirius had passed on that question, he had sat back on the window seat, a moody expression his face and listened quietly to the others answers.

Rowan got up and stretched her hands over her head. She was tired, her head hurt and she felt like a hippograff had run over her head. This is why she didn't like getting drunk.

Lily was curled up on James' bed, he was next to her, an inch of space between them. Marlene was passed on Remus' bed and Remus, ever the gentlemen had gone to the other window seat and Peter was fast asleep in a chair, his head lolling to one side.

She could have easily just crashed on Sirius' bed or just snuggle against Marlene. But it was her own stubbornness and pride that stopped her from doing that. She wanted to sleep in her own goddamn bed, wake up in her own bloody room and not deal with any of them for a little bit. She needed some space. From everything.

But not from everyone necessarily. She just needed a break from everything she knew.

She brooded a bit as she banged about her room, changing into her pyjamas and brushing her teeth. The day after Christmas was depressing. She kind of hated it.

Crashing into bed, Rowan wrenched her bed hangings around her and slid further down. She always kind of hated herself after a night of drinking. She hated herself for feeling like a pile of dung and for feeling like she wanted to kick someone's butt. Drinking always brought the worst of her, physically and mentally out of her.

"I am never drinking again," she scowled at the ceiling. Then she remembered that New Year's Eve was coming up and of course everyone would insist on drinking a toast or two.

Maybe she'd just hide herself in a broom closet on New Year's Eve.

Yawning, she turned over and closed her eyes. She briefly wondered what Regulus was up to now and what he was doing on New Year's Eve.

* * *

Regulus cocked his head and shifted on his feet slightly, trying to get more comfortable as he stood and listened to yet another one of his blasted relatives inquire about his future and studies.

Ok. He had lied at to her.

Christmas kind of _sucked _at the most Noble, yet most boring, House of Black.

The days leading up to Christmas, Regulus had spent them shut up in his room, cleaning, organizing, keeping his mind off her, his brother and every single source of annoyance to him.

When Regulus was strained, annoyed or upset, he cleaned. He kind of worried about it, he sometimes believed that he had was a bit on the neurotic side. His mum, as much as he loved her, could be barking mad at some points.

He finally spent a good chunk of time organizing all the articles, photos and information that he had collected on the Dark Lord. He felt that as a follower, it was best to arm himself with as much information about him, his ideals and everything else as possible.

What really intrigued him was the Dark Lord's psyche and how he psychologically terrorized the masses. He found the mind and the human psyche fascinating. The mind was a fascinating thing, with so many layers and the practices of Occlumency and Legilimency greatly sparked his interest.

He also spent a good deal of time thinking about her and wondering what she was doing and whether or not Sirius had done something stupid and asked her to be his girlfriend or something equally horrendous.

Oh god. If he returned to school and found out Rowan was dating his brother, he was going to _kill_ someone.

That or run away to America and join those stinky hippies in their useless peace protests.

He'd rather do _that_ than see her with his stupid brother.

It was New Year's Eve and they were on the cusp of entering the year 1978. An even numbered year. He did not like that. He didn't like even numbers for some reason. He always liked odd numbers and preferred thing in three's.

Good god. Maybe he was also a bit obsessive compulsive as well. Regulus mentally slapped himself before giving a charming smile to his great cousin and said, "Pardon me, Elijah but I think some one else has just arrived and I ought to go and greet them,"

"As a proper Black should. You're a good boy Regulus," his cousin said affectionately before turning his attention elsewhere.

Regulus had lied, he had spotted Rosier across the room and he had given Reglus that look. The look that said, "grab your hat the sub party is about to start."

"Evening Rosier," Regulus inclined his head slightly to his mate.

"Evening Black, let's get going shall we?"

The two of them made their way around the room, casually tapping the arms of their other friends and Regulus gestured down a hallway. He glanced around the ballroom and hovered by the drink cart. And with a sleight of his hand, he filched a few bottles of scotch, firewhiskey and vodka.

"Welcome to the sub party," Wilkes grinned stretching himself out on a luxurious leather chair as Regulus entered and shut the door behind him.

They all looked at him. He held up the bottles. They cheered.

* * *

"I think it's a waste for you lot to still be in school," his crazy and sometimes demented cousin Bellatrix said loudly taking a shot of firewhiskey.

"And why is that Bella?" Lucius Malfoy said. His fiancé, Narcissa, his cousin, was situated prettily on his knee, the hem of her royal blue dress skimming the floor.

"Because the Dark Lord needs his followers with him, helping him, aiding him, instead of wasting time pulling childish pranks in school. I've heard that those filthy little Gryffindors have made quite a spectacle of you."

"Wouldn't the Dark Lord like his followers to be well educated in magic before fully giving their services to him?" Regulus shot back as he stared out the window.

"The Dark Lord needs more followers. We haven't done many attacks this month."

"Tell me what have you done?" Rosier sneered.

"Classified information," Bella smirked. The sneer was wiped off Rosier's face. Lucius rolled his eyes. "Oh you know. Bettering the wizarding world by eradicating mudblood filth, riff raff and the lack." Bellatrix's face fell and she scowled deeply at her soon to be brother-in-law.

"Yeah mate it's not like we go writing on pieces of parchment, _December 21st, meet at Borgin and Burkes, attack Finnigan's house, pick up dinner on way home_," Rosier chortled.

"Rosier, you're dumb as a cauldron, you know that?" Bellatrix said disdainfully. Rosier shut up.

"Can I ask a question? I've heard some things…." Regulus asked a little hesitantly.

"'What is it?" Bellatrix rolled her head back and stretched out on the divan.

"Is it true…now that the Dark Lord is looking to people of other Houses besides Slytherin for recruits?"

"He wants anyone who believes in his cause and the supremacy of pureblood. You know there a quite a few pureblood Ravenclaws and Hufflepuffs."

"And they're bloody well smart. The Dark Lord likes intelligence. Dunno why'd he want any bloody Hufflepuff. They're a bunch of duffers in my opinion. Wouldn't be able to handle playing with muggles for fun at all." Rosier said dismissively.

"You lot ought to work more on recruiting people for the Dark Lord," Lucius said sharply looking at the young Death Eaters who still attended Hogwarts.

"And pray tell me, how would you go about doing that?" Snape asked sardonically. "With that mudblood loving fool running our school…."

Regulus didn't say anything but listened hard and trained his eyes on his cousin Bella who had sat up and looked at the group with a sly smile.

"By seducing them with what the Dark Lord offers. You know that as purebloods we do have supremacy over everyone else, but there's something that everybody wants,"

"And what's that Bella?" Lucius drawled.

"Power. Status. Eliteness. The Dark Lord is the most powerful wizard on earth. People want recognition. People want power. Power allows you to get through life so much more easily."

Privately speaking, from what he read when he was researching Rowan goddamn Forlani, he sometimes thought Gellert Grindelwald was certainly more evil in some aspects. He committed mass genocide against all types of witches and wizards during the Great War. Yeah, he would never admit it, but he did some more research after he talked with her and was unpleasantly horrified to come across the atrocities that Grindelwald had committed.

"And do you know what else comes with power? Money!" a fellow Slytherin house mate said boorishly. His name was Zachary Quintoff.

"Money and Power. Two very important things. And people who have so much power or money need protection. And that's what the Dark Lord can offer as well."

"So we're supposed to go holding up a great big sign that says 'Come Join Us! We can offer you power and money!' in big capital letters?" Snape asked sarcastically.

"No. Just 'Power'. We can't really offer money quite yet," Bellatrix said equally cynically.

"Oh well, then we've just lost half of our potential market," Snape slapped a hand down on a table.

They all laughed and even Regulus' lips quirked. The people he knew…were odd. To say the least. And Snape was probably the most reasonable out of the bunch of them.

"Bella is right on some accounts," Lucius cut in. "You should seduce them. But not with that kind of mentality, .you ought to seduce them like you seduce someone you fancy,"

"There's a difference?" Regulus raised a brow.

"Yes, there is," Bella said with a gleam in her eyes. "When seducing someone you want, you take your time, it takes effort. You get in their head. You never really give them straight answers, you allude to things, you confuse them, until the perfect moment."

"Bella, we're teenagers. Not adults. I have no idea what the hell you're talking about. Did you get this rubbish out of a book? Like a book called, "_The Art of Seduction_"?

"Oh stuff it Snape,"

"Anyway, I would think you'd have no trouble getting girls to think about joining us Regulus, with your good looks and the fact that you're a quidditch player…"

Regulus shrugged. "Don't pay that many attention to girls really,"

(That was a lie. He paid a lot of attention to one particular girl.)

"They make them rather dumb in our school," he continued. Snape seconded this with a snort.

(She wasn't. She was probably one of the most brilliant witches to pass through the stupid school in the last fifty years.)

"And most of them probably aren't pure-bloods,"

(She was though. He just knew she was from all his research and instinct.)

"And to be honest, no one really comes to mind when I think whether or not they could handle being a death eater or serving the Dark Lord. They don't really have the means to really…getting the job done," he finished.

(She could though. He had seen her in action. There was something dangerous about her. She'd probably scare the rest of the Death Eaters with her attitude.)

"Surely there must be one or two people you think that would do well. The Dark Lord doesn't want to take over Hogwarts for nothing, he wants to use it as a recruiting ground!"

"Well tell the Dark Lord good luck from me then…"

"Well there is one person," Snape spoke slowly. "But I don't know how'd all of you would feel about it considering her background…"

"Who?" Lucius queried.

"Rowan Forlani," Snape replied.

"The gypsy tramp?" Rosier said disbelievingly.

Regulus mentally face palmed himself.

_Of course. _

_Of course, Snape would go and have to say her stupid name.  
_

* * *

_A/N:OK some major foreshadowing thrown there on all accounts. I'd really appreciate if you could **leave a review, I'd love to hear what you all think :) xoxoxo**_


	31. Problems

_A/N: Thank you, thank you for all your amazing reviews and support. After I post this I'm going to answer them I swear. Things have been hectic and I won't lie I spend a good chunk of my time camped out in front of my laptop not writing as much as I should (bad) but watching the Euro 2012 matches instead (which is awesome)...*slaps self* ANYWAY. Here's the next chapter, enjoy and leave your thoughts!_

* * *

Regulus sighed and turned the handsome eagle quill in his hand.

He had received it as a Christmas gift.

From _her_.

He wasn't paying any attention to what Flitwick was saying in Charms class. The new term had already started a fortnight ago and he was already buried under an avalanche of homework and quidditch practices.

It was a lovely quill to be sure, and she had enclosed a small piece of parchment that had only said "_Merry Christmas and Happy New Year, R.F._"

Now he was in a pickle.

And he was prat. He didn't get her anything. Could he _look_ like a bigger idiot?

_Don't answer that, Regulus, _he thought staring at the ceiling of the classroom.

He hesitated to call her a mate, but it looks like they were. Too bad he couldn't bloody talk to her or even say "hi" to her in the hallway.

"Mr. Black! Pay attention!" Flitwick squeaked reprimanding him.

Regulus broke out of his trance and shifted in his seat. "Sorry professor,"

This girl was ruining him in more ways than one, and she wasn't even present.

Fantastic.

He narrowed his eyes and flipped open his textbook. It wasn't fair he grumbled to himself, she was turning him inside out without even doing anything. And she did this all with her mere bloody existence.

He frowned as he studied the day's lessons. He wanted to turn her upside down too. He wanted to get a rise out of her as well.

The question was _how_.

* * *

Rowan was scribbling away at her Alchemy homework when James slid into a seat and tapped her shoulder.

"Hey,"

"Jesus! What are you doing here?"

"Trying to finish my potions homework but it's isn't going too well."

"Well it _is_ potions…"

"Rowan don't get shirty on me, but I have to ask you something,"

"No I will not engage in a ménage-a-trios with you and Lily,"

"Already noted. No…remember Christmas night and we got really sloshed and we played that game, truth?"

"Who could forget? We were all so hungover the next day," Rowan said shuddering at the memory of it.

"Well…remember how you said something about a girl and dying..."

She turned fully and looked at him. James treaded carefully. "Explain that."

Rowan's expression darkened. "It is, what it was. What else is there to explain?"

"The fact that you never told any of us before?" James waved a hand.

"I don't have to tell you everything…there are some things…that I keep to myself. I don't need you lot, or anyone really, to feel sorry for me. Things in life happen, and sometimes we see things that we really shouldn't. But that doesn't mean I'm going to stop living or stay in hiding."

"You were only nine Rowan," James said gently.

"So was she. See, in Romania, and for all the countries under the Iron Curtain…you don't really have a normal childhood. There's not really time to be a child. Especially if you're part of a group they kind of determine as ill fit to exist." Rowan's eyes flicked back to her essay and she started scribbling again.

"Is that why you came to England?" he asked quietly.

"It was the push that finally convinced my parents to get the hell out of there…they had been toying with it…but there was also this feeling of…cowardice of leaving…it's like you're running away from something…and that's…Roma's don't run." She grumbled.

"If you had stayed there, you could have died!" James exclaimed. Someone shushed him.

"If I had stayed there, I could have been alive too. I'd never know. But there's no use in brooding over it. The past is in the past, I'm in the present and I have to figure out what the heck I'm going to do with myself after school ends."

"You could go be a dragon tamer," James offered.

"Or I could just jump in the lake," she snorted.

James watched her quietly as she scribbled away at her essay. She was one of his best friends. And yet there was so much he did not know about her or her past. "How come you don't talk about your life in Romania so much Rowan?"

"Because," she muttered concentrating on her homework. "It's another life. It doesn't even seem real to me any more. A lot of stuff happened in that life and I don't really want to revisit it all the time,"

"Bad things?"

"Hard things,"

"Aren't they the same thing?"

"No, James," she slowly mused. "They are not the same thing. And one day, you'll see what I mean,"

* * *

"I have a problem." Marlene announced banging into the dorm.

Lily looked up from her studies. "Already? We've only been back in school for two and half weeks!"

"Caradoc."

"Pardon?"

"Caradoc is my problem."

"…. Why?"

"Because…oh god this sounds terrible."

"What sounds terrible?" Rowan asked finally distracted enough from her reading to take interest in this.

"I don't love him anymore."

Lily grimaced and Rowan winced. "Oh. That does sound terrible."

"What happened?"

"I don't know! I just…ugh this sounds even worse. Please don't tell anyone ok?"

"We won't, go ahead Marlene," Rowan promised.

"I think…I think I really, really like Remus." Marlene said in one breath.

Silence.

"Oh merlin. This problem just got bigger." Rowan finally said. Marlene nodded vigorously.

"Ya think! This is so bad you girls! I have a boyfriend who I don't love anymore, I like another guy, and now I have to break up with said boyfriend in order to be with the other guy except I can't be with the other guy cos he doesn't like me and even if he did, there's a time period that has to be filled otherwise I'll look like a huge tramp!" Marlene ranted flailing her arms around.

"Well first things first, you have to break up with Caradoc," Rowan decided.

Marlene pouted. "Why? Maybe I should make it work, Remus doesn't like me. And then I'd be single."

"Being single isn't a bad thing," Rowan reminded her.

"For you maybe! I like being in a relationship! I like knowing I mean something to someone!" Marlene said impatiently.

Something in Rowan's eyes darkened and Marlene felt a little guilty. "Oh Rowan I didn't mean it that way, but you're…you're so strong. You never need anyone. I wish I could be like that."

"Not really you don't. It causes you to muck up relationships." Rowan said regretfully thinking of Gideon.

"Anyway. Marlene…Remus has been in love with you since he was fifteen." Lily said changing the topic.

"He has?" Marlene cried out surprised.

"Yes he has. So I wouldn't worry about that part…" Lily said.

"I'd worry more about the breaking up part," Rowan added.

"I hate this. I hate breaking up."

"Who doesn't?"

"I mean, Caradoc is a lovely bloke, he really is, and I did love him…I think I did…but I don't know that much about love…"

"Do any of us?" Rowan asked bluntly.

"I'd like to think that you do, Ro," Lily said gently.

Rowan fell quiet. "I don't know. I think there are many different types of love. And our views on love changes as we get older."

"Did you love Gideon?" Marlene asked.

A distant, kind of faraway look came upon Rowan's face. "Yes. At that time, I did. I loved him very much. But we wanted different things in the end."

"What kind of things?"

"I wanted space. He wanted to take the next step."

"As in marriage?" Lily asked stunned. Rowan had never told her this.

"Or something like that. He wanted to wait until after I finished school."

"Why'd you say no?" Marlene asked curiously.

Rowan shrugged. "Because…I wasn't ready. I'm still not ready…and…I didn't love him in that way to want to give my life like that…as terrible as it ...we are so young, still, even though we're of age and all that rubbish. There's just too much I want to do in my life as an individual before tethering myself to someone. He just…wasn't the one for me I think. He's a great guy, like Caradoc…but they just aren't the ones for us."

"Yes! I loved him, but he isn't the one I want to take the next big steps with. Thank you!" Marlene said appreciatively.

"So…how are you going to do it? Rip it off like a band-aid and just tell him point blank?" Lily asked.

"I thought I'd just ease him into it and then rip off the band-aid?"

"Gooood luck darling. Better you than me." Rowan said returning to her books.

* * *

As it turns out, it was a lot messier than Marlene envisioned and she realised the biggest downside of entering relationships was _exiting_ relationships. There was a fair bit of crying and shouting from both parties but at last Caradoc accepted it and went off to bed exhausted, emotionally drained, a bit pissed, which was normal.

Marlene slumped against the couch and in vain tried to wipe away her tears. It didn't work. Instead she burst into a fresh waves of tears.

"Marlene! What's wrong?" Sirius came thundering down the stairs with a concerned face hearing someone crying.

Marlene hiccuped and blew her nose. "Oh nothing. I'm fine, don't worry about it," she tried to compose herself.

"You don't look so fine," Sirius said wrapped an arm around her shoulder and drawing her close.

Marlene curled into him and Sirius rocked her back and forth for a bit as they stared into the fireplace. They had briefly, very briefly, gone out in their fifth year but realised it wasn't working and instead had maintained a friendly relationship thereafter. It was time like these that Marlene really appreciated they managed to stay on good terms and become good mates this year.

"Thanks Sirius," Marlene said feeling better.

"Sure. What happened if you don't mind me asking?"

"Oh you know. Breaking up is never fun."

"You and Caradoc broke up? No wonder he looked so…"

"Like he was going to clobber someone?"

"Something like that."

"Yeah…we did. It just…wasn't working anymore." Marlene said.

Well Remus would be dancing the conga at this news, Sirius thought to himself.

"Sometimes things work and sometimes they don't…but you'll be ok you know that right?" Sirius said looking at her.

"I know…I just. Augh. It's weird being single. I've always had someone," Marlene confessed.

"I know! But ya know…this may be a good thing. Take some time for yourself ya know? Just do…whatever you want to do or whatever," Sirius said thoughtfully.

"I'll get bored of myself."

"Nah I think you have a lot more to you than ya think. I mean, you do want to be a curse breaker for Gringotts."

"That's true. And you've been single for awhile now. Remind me why again?" Marlene said shifting and shooting him a sharp look.

Sirius waved a hand. "Eh I dunno really. Figure it's my seventh year, might as well focus on my future,"

Marlene paused. "That sounds like a lot of bullshit." She said, her diction exquisite.

Sirius let a laugh. "Yeah..honestly? I don't know."

She debated whether or not she should say this…but then she took the plunge. "You like her don't you?" she said quietly.

Sirius froze like a deer in the headlights. "Erm..what?"

"Don't screw with me love. I've seen the way you look at her."

"Is it that obvious?"

"For most of us yes. Lucky for you Rowan is either very dull or chooses not to notice."

"Oh yes…lucky for me." Sirius replied sarcastically.

"How long?"

He thought about this. "I don't know…prolli since the day I knew her perhaps? I've realised that I've always put her as the bar that I compared my few ex girlfriends too. I don't know. She's just…she doesn't need anyone. That's what fascinates me and drives me mad to no end."

"It drives us all mad. Are you in love with her?" Marlene asked frankly.

Sirius suddenly looked very bashful and she smiled. Boys were so cute sometimes. "I don't know. What's love? I've never been in love, love. I love you guys, but that's different."

"Yeah…so what do you feel?"

"I….just want to be close to her, and take care of her, she's just…hell. She always know how to handle me and what to do and what to say. She's brilliant and beautiful and I just want to thrash every guys that smiles at her." Sirius rambled off. Marlene looked at him. He face palmed himself.

"Sirius?"

"I know. Oh hell. I'm in love with her."

"Oh hell indeed." Marlene tittered.

"What the hell am I supposed to do now?" Sirius threw his hands up in the air.

"I dunno! You know her better than me. But Sirius, can I tell you something?"

"Go ahead."

"Don't get mad at me, okay?"

"I won't, just go."

"She won't...she won't let you take care of her," Marlene said looking at him a little sadly. Sirius gave her a rueful smile of his own.

"I know Marly. That's just one of the many reasons why I prolli haven't done anything about it."

"When did life get so difficult?" she sighed leaning into him again.

"When we had the misfortune of growing up," Sirius replied settling his arm around her shoulder staring into the fireplace as his thoughts swirled around his head.

* * *

Lily and Rowan were walking down the corridor on their way to the library, yet again, it seemed as if they lived most of their lives in that damn library, when they passed by no other than Snape and Regulus.

It would have been a comical site hadn't it not been those particular characters. Snape caught Lily's eye and Rowan caught Regulus'. Lily lowered her eyes and didn't say anything and Snape broke his gaze and stared impassively in front of him.

Regulus however, decided to do the unthinkable.

"Hello," he said to Rowan.

Rowan nearly stumbled but caught herself. "Erm, hi."

What was she supposed to do now? "Uh…how are you?"

"I'm fine." Regulus replied a little nervously.

Lily gave her a look that said "_What in merlin's silky underpants are you doing?"_

Snape shot Regulus a glare that shouted, _"What the fuck do you think you're doing?"_

"Good. That's good. Well. I'll see you at duelling club later on this weekend. Bye." Rowan said feeling very nervous all of a sudden. She grabbed Lily's arm and started to walk again.

"Bye. Have a good day!" Regulus called back feeling the need to stir things up a little. What was wrong with him?

Rowan threw a glance over her shoulder that said "_What the hell is wrong with you?_" but there was the barest of smiles on there. Regulus fought the inexplicable urge to laugh at this.

"Mate, did you conk your head on something? What the hell was that about?" Snape asked looking at him,

"Nothing. Let's go. We're going to be late."

Lily shot Rowan a sharp look. "What's going on Rowan? You're keeping secrets. Why is Regulus Black saying hi to you?"

"Because he's a person?"

"He told you to have a good day!"

"He's a polite person?

"ROWAN FORLANI YOU'RE NOT TELLING ME SOMETHING!" Lily shouted.

"Relax! Geez Lils. It's no big deal. We're…just polite to each other. That's all."

"Have you been duelling him at Duelling Club?" Lily asked suddenly concerned.

Rowan shifted her stance. "We've remained partners ever since October."

"Oh Rowan!"

"What 'oh Rowan?' What is so catastrophic about this?" Rowan asked annoyed.

"He's..Regulus Black. A Slytherin. He's Sirius' brother." Lily replied.

"Not all Slytherins are totally evil…." Rowan gave her a sharp look reminding Lily of her former friendship with a certain Slytherin. Lily chose to ignore this.

"He's Sirius' little brother. Sirius isn't going to like this."

"So? He can't tell me what to do!" Rowan huffed.

_You fool,_ Lily screamed at her in her mind. _Sirius is half in love with you and here you are spending time with his brother, the brother that constantly reminds him of his home life and the fact that he has no home!_ But she kept this to herself.

"Lily," Rowan said quieter.

"What?" Lily asked irritated at the state of things. "Don't tell Sirius ok? It's not a big deal, and we're not doing anything wrong, but it'll set Sirius off and I don't want to upset him."

"Fine. But sooner or later you're going to have to tell him." Lily warned her mate.

"I know. But not right now." Rowan decided.

Lily agreed to this but didn't like this. She had a feeling that this was going to backfire on Rowan, but Rowan had the right to make her own mistakes.

* * *

_A/N: And believe me, she, (and the rest of them) will be making very big mistakes. But that's what life is all about, live and learn. **I'd love if you could review please :) xoxoxo**_


	32. The Astronomy Tower

_A/N: Thank you for all the wonderful support and reviews. You lot are really amazing, I hope you know that. :)_

* * *

She would live and learn, Rowan would. But when she received an owl from him later on that week to meet him up on the Astronomy Tower she didn't hesitate and recklessly set out to the Astronomy Tower under her improved Disillusionment Charm.

She spotted him leaning against the wall that the telescopes and she decided to sneak up on me. Tapping his shoulder he whipped around and said "Whose there?" in a clear voice looking alarmed.

Rowan waved a hand over herself and Regulus' jaw dropped open. Rowan gave him an easy smile.

"Hey,"

"Hey yourself,"

"How are you?"

"Cold," Regulus smiled fully. Rowan noted that this was the first time he was smiling and it was relaxed, natural. It was real.

"Your fault. You chose this place."

"Only place we can hang out without being seen, teased or create any emotional havoc in this place, you would think that people would have better things to do than worry about me and you being seen together,"

"That's true. So how was Christmas?"

"It was fine. The usual. Thank you for the Christmas gift, I really like it."

"Oh no problem! It was a Christmas gift and a thank you rolled into one, for staying in the hospital." Rowan added quietly.

"Thank you."

"Hey! Do you want to go up on the roof?" Rowan asked craning her neck to study the roof.

"What?" Regulus asked laughing. "Are you mad?"

"A little, but c'mon! The roof is a great place to hang out privately."

"You're going to break your neck!"

"Come on! Live a little," Rowan scrambled up to the roof. Regulus just gaped at her.

"How'd you do that?"

"Magic, hello?"

"I can't see anything…AAAHHHH!" Regulus shouted as he felt himself lifted into the air. Moment later he felt his butt land on the roof.

"You're gonna send blokes to their graves that way," Regulus grumbled. He shifted his seat and got comfortable.

"Shaddup. You have to admit, it's pretty cool being up here," Rowan said tipping her head up to study the night skies.

"It's colder up here!" Regulus exclaimed.

"You're such a big baby!" Rowan huffed. With her hands she conjured up a small group of flames. Regulus stared at them fascinated.

"Don't they burn your hands?" he asked.

"No, there's a special property to them so that they don't' burn your hands." Rowan said moving the cluster of flames towards the middle.

"How do you know all of this stuff?"

She shrugged. "I don't know. I guess I've just always been interested in pushing boundaries, I don't know. Magic has always just been there I guess. I can't really explain it."

"So how long have you been creating magic?"

"Ever since I can remember?"

Regulus sat back and digested this. "Are you ever afraid that you might…" he trailed off not wanting to sound morbid.

"Die?" She finished for him dryly. Regulus gave her a look that said "_Well how else was I supposed to say that_?" She smiled. "Yeah, it does scare me, but that's thing Regulus. Sometime in order to achieve the big picture, you have to sacrifice yourself in the process. In order to push limits, you have to be ready to give something up."

"But you're not collateral damage!" He replied indignantly. Rowan shook her head, eyes laughing.

"I'm not, the castle is. But don't worry, I've gotten better, I don't end up nearly as much in the Hospital Wing as I used to back in the fourth and fifth year."

"You're weird, you know that right?" he bumped his shoulder against hers and Rowan felt pleasantly cheerful at this. She didn't know why.

"I prefer the term 'eccentric'," she stuck her tongue out.

"Same thing, just a fancier word," he waved a hand.

"And you're…I don't even know what you are," Rowan tipped her head up at the sky.

"Do elaborate Miss Forlani,"

"You're nothing like I imagine you to be. I know you're a Slytherin and everyone is telling me that you lot are evil and bad but you're…I dunno Reg,"

Regulus smiled at the nickname she had given him right then. Rowan continued to mull over her thoughts. "You're different. You're nice, polite, funny, sarcastic, well read…you're cool Reg. And I like that." She said bluntly.

He felt his mood soar way off the charts. "Thank you," he said ever well mannered.

She started laughing again and he chuckled. "This feels kind of funny. It's like we're on a date or something," she thought out loud.

"Or something," he agreed thinking of a parallel world where maybe there was a slim chance he could ever take her out for a date.

"How were the holidays?" she changed subjects.

"The same as usual. I'm kind of glad to be back at Hogwarts. I'm sorry that I didn't get you anything by the way," he added thinking of his new favourite quill.

"Oh it's not a problem. I wasn't sure what I should get you since I don't know what you're into...I know a quill is a bit...lame compared to a fancy watch or whatever you guys get each other but..."

"I love it, I use it all the time," he assured her.

"By the way…what _are_ you into?"

Regulus grinned. "Stuff,"

"C'mon!"

"Or what?"

"I'll shove you off the roof!"

"Fine fine fine, calm down….ok. Erm. Well…you already you know that I love reading, I like Quidditch….I dunno. The usual stuff I guess. Music."

"What kind of music are you into?" Rowan's eye lit up.

"You're gonna make fun of me…"

"Try me,"

"No, you'll think I'm a pansy,"

"TELL ME!"

"Shhhh! Do you want to wake the entire castle?"

"No….tell me you prat!"

"All right! I love classical music, Mozart, Beethoven, Brahms. My favourite is classical piano music. I also love Swing music and Jazz, I really love the music from the 1920's and 40's." Regulus said waiting for her to start laughing her head off.

She didn't. Instead she was smiling.

"That's really cool. I've never listened to any of that kind of music before. I listen to mostly punk and rock, and traditional Roma music but that's about it,"

"Yeah you lot are very musical. I've never listened to anything from Romania or anything. I'd like to. Do you have anything?"

"I do…."

"May I borrow one?" Regulus dragged out.

"Only if you lend me one of your classical records or something," she countered.

Regulus chewed his lip. He stuck out his hand. "Deal,"

They shook on it and Regulus liked the feel of her small, hard hand in his. Fine boned with hard calluses. He wondered what the hell she did in order to sustain them.

"Why do you like classical piano music so much?" she wanted to know.

"Probably because I play the piano,"

"_You_ play the piano?" she asked disbelievingly.

He flushed. He didn't mean to tell her that! "Well…yeah. In our family it's kind of a thing to be classically trained in some art or another…being part of the noble elite or whatever…I was trained in piano."

"How long have you been playing for?" Rowan asked greatly intrigued.

Regulus mentally counted. "…Twelve years now,"

"Regulus….something something Black!" she exclaimed.

"Something something? Pardon?" he asked confused.

"I don't know your middle name!" she huffed. Regulus sniggered. "Yeah…and I'm not telling you,"

"C"mon"!

"At least, not right away. But anyway! Yes. I've been playing for twelve years."

Rowan stared hard at him. Regulus found that her eyes, even in the dark, were brilliant. It should be illegal to have such blue eyes he thought in his head. "I don't believe you. It's too much."

"You don't believe me?" he scoffed.

"No! Otherwise….it'd just be. Augh! You're you Reg! You'd be this well read, polite, fit bloke who likes Russian literature, plays the piano and is a quidditch player! It's too much. No one can be _that_ cool."

"Well I suppose I am just _that _cool Miss Forlani," he stuck out his tongue.

"I refuse to believe it until I see it proven in front of my own eyes," she said stubbornly.

"Fine! I will prove it you. Just find me a bloody piano here and there we go!" he waved a hand.

"Oh don't you worry your pretty little head off Reg…I will find you a goddamn piano and you will play," she threatened. The grin on her face marred her seriousness of her threat though.

"Challenge accepted mate, you let me know when you find this magical piano,"

She bumped her shoulder against his again and he laughed again. He hadn't felt this happy in a very long time.

They staid up there for a long time, talking idly or just staring out into the night. In retrospect Rowan would come to remember this moment as something particularly important to her, of the boy she briefly used to know.

* * *

Then one day things got interesting in Defence Against the Dark Arts.

The Gryffindors had the unfortunate pleasure of sharing Advanced Defence Against the Dark Arts with the Slytherins, as well as the other two houses. They didn't mind the Ravenclaws or Hufflepuffs, but it was those bloody Slytherins that drove them mad.

Professor Konstantin told them that during this term they would learn more about the unforgivable curses. However they were still very flabbergasted when Professor Konstantin announced one day he'd put them through the Imperio Curse.

"Is that allowed?" Benjy Fenwick asked doubtfully.

"Professor Dumbledore feels that seeing as your Seventh Years that it is okay to put you through this seeing as he feels that you need something real in order to full understand what is facing you out there." He said rolling up his robe sleeves.

Rowan slid further down in her seat. She did not like this at all.

"So! Each one of you will come up here and feel what it's like to be under the Imperio curse. Let's go. Roll call..aaaaaannnnnnd Mr. Anderson, front and centre!"

Rowan watched in half cool amusement half anxiety as she saw her classmates perform astonishing things that they would never ever do under normal circumstances or even if they were drunk or tripping on psychedelics.

Lily performed ballet, James imitated a gorilla and swung from the light brackets, Marlene sung in Italian like an opera singer, Peter performed the Mexican hurracha dance, Remus whirled around like an airplane and made noises and Sirius performed an incredible series of gymnastics.

Then, it was her turn. Oh no.

"Rowan Forlani, you're five minutes of fame please!" Professor Konstantin said grinning. Rowan saw that he was clearly enjoying this which she found highly disconcerting because this was an unforgivable curse, and so far he had only been making their students do playful, funny things. She knew obviously that this curse was used for very dark and evil purposes, otherwise why on earth would it be called an unforgivable curse?

"Can we make it just one minute of fame?" Rowan said resignedly stalking up there.

"We'll see."

She turned and faced him distrustfully and Sirius and James watched her interestedly. She was braced like a prize fighter. Sirius smiled to himself.

"Imperio!" Professor Konstantin said authoritatively.

Rowan immediately fell this floaty, heady sensation come over her. It was something akin to tripping on acid but more looser. She didn't like it because she knew she wasn't tripping on acid!

"_Go and sing the national anthem while cart wheeling around the room_," a voice said.

"_I don't think so_," her mind snarled. Rowan physically gripped her wand tighter.

"She's…frozen…" Peter whispered to Remus.

"She's…I don't know what's going on?" Remus whispered watching her closely.

"_I said you will sing the national anthem while cart wheeling," _the voice said louder.

"_No! Leave me the fuck alone_," her mind voice shouted.

"_Protego_!" Rowan mentally thought brandished her wand and there was a thud a bang and she felt as if she had just surfaced to the water and was taking a big, deep breath of fresh air. Her mind was clear.

She twisted around and saw the desk askew and the Professor in a heap. Whoops.

"Professor Konstantin! Are you all right?" She asked concerned.

Slightly winded he gingerly got to his feet. "I'm quite fine Miss Forlani. I must say, well done. Really. I never expected that from any of you."

Rowan didn't say anything, instead shifting her stance. Her eyes didn't smile nor did her mouth.

Sirius cocked an eyebrow. Interesting.

A small crease appeared in Snape's forehead. Interesting indeed.

"Shall we go again? I just want to see if you can do it in one go,"

"I can do it," Rowan replied coolly. A muscle in her jaw twitched.

"Imperio!"

Rowan ducked instinctively and then twirled her wand.

An earth shattering crash was heard. Rowan looked around her befuddled professor and pursed her lips. She had blown out the windows. Nice.

"Impressive Forlani. Take one hundred points for Gryffindor!" Konstantin said highly pleased and impressed.

"Thanks. _Reparo_," Rowan waved her wand over the broken windows. She then returned to her seat and once again stared ahead at the board impassively.

She may appear nonchalant on the outside but her skin was flushed and her mind was mad.

Snape cast a furtive glance at her. He was beginning to see what fascinated Regulus and now he had some questions to ask him…

As they were exiting class, Konstantin held her back for a bit. Closing the door he gestured for her to sit and she looked at him expectantly.

Before he could open his mouth to speak, she said, "You want to know how I can throw off the Imperio Curse?" in a matter of fact voice.

"Yes! That's incredible. Not many wizards or witches can do that!" he exclaimed.

Rowan shrugged. "Professor…I'm a Roma, a gypsy. I don't know if you know that much about us…but basically, we've been mistreated, imprisoned, killed, marginalized, dehumanized, you name it, for most of our lives. We aren't recognized by many nations and have a certain stigma attached to us. So in lieu of being treated like scum, we've come to arming ourselves against those who try and mess with us."

"Pardon?"

"Basically, everyone in our culture…they just….train us to fight for our own, or just…I don't know how to describe it. But…do you know anything about gypsy magic?"

"No I'm sorry to say."

"Well…we're a very close knit community, we tend to be very traditional and keep things in our community, so that being said, in our blood, gypsy magic runs through it, it's not a whole different kind of magic, it's just a different variation, well…it gives us a more powerful hold over our mind and our ability to concentrate when performing magic. Additionally it gives us some other things that make our ability to cast magic more…powerful I guess, not to sound pretentious."

"Our parents, relatives, anyone really whose a Roma, they train us at a very young age to get a hold on our mind. They introduce us to the properties of magic early on so that we can understand how to use it. From the time we're in our early teens, they start to put us through the Imperio Curse, training us to be able to resist it." She explained.

"You don't sound fascinating. This is fascinating. Do they put you through the Cruciatus Curse?" Konstantin asked his voice suddenly sharp.

Rowan gave him a twisted smile. "Of course they do. They believe in arming us as best they can. Of course, no one can defend themselves against the Cruciatus Curse, but they train us to not scream when we're being tortured by it."

"They train you not to scream?" Konstantin raised an eyebrow.

"Or cry," she added.

"Why on earth would they teach you that?"

"Because showing that you react to pain is a sign of weakness, and we don't take kindly to displays of weakness," Rowan answered in a steely voice.

"This is really incredible. I've never heard of this before,"

"That's 'cos we don't talk about it," Rowan replied shortly.

"Why not? I think this is something that people would want to know," Her professor said confused.

"We don't want people to know. We don't want people to ask us questions, target us or bother us. We like being left alone because in the long run it's safer and easier to continue to exist." Rowan replied in a weary voice.

"Well then…I'll keep this to myself. But…I think Dumbledore ought to know about this, and the fact that you can overthrow, or rather, protect yourself against the Imperio curse." Konstantin said seriously.

She frowned slightly but sighed. "Yeah okay. That man knows everything anyway. May I go now? I'm going to be late for my next lesson."

"Of course! Sorry. But thank you for explaining things to me," Konstantin said jumping off his desk.

"Sure thing Professor…just…keep it to yourself, I'd really appreciate that." Rowan said gathering up her things.

"Of course, good day Miss Forlani,"

"Bye Professor," Rowan said reaching the door. Just before she left though she gave him one last searching look that left Konstantin with goosebumps. The look appeared intimidating, enigmatic and weary at the same time.

Konstantin made a mental note to read every book in the library about the Roma gypsies at the first chance he got.

* * *

_A/N: And little by little important clues are revealed. Trust me, this bit of information will be important in the long run. **Please review! :) xoxoxo**_


	33. An Affair To Remember

_A/N: **Thank you for all your support and reviews.** I've gotten very behind on replying to all of you and after this I'm going to sit back and reply to all of you, things have been all over the place lately with Euro 2012 and some art commissions that I've had to do so I haven't gotten much time to write which I hope to fix! Enjoy._

* * *

The teachers were working them harder than ever now that January had faded in February. The Seventh Years became to resemble zombies once again as they deprived themselves of sleep, pumped themselves full of caffeine and grinded their noses so hard in their books, their skin rubbed off.

Of course, some students went crazier than others. While Sirius and the rest of the Marauders studied fairly hard, it was hard for him and James to fully dedicate all their time to studying. Besides nothing beat stress better than playing some good old fashioned pranks and indulging in childish antics. They weren't quite grown up yet, thank god.

Regulus decided that it was imperative to be able to talk to Rowan at least once a week and proposed that they work out a time and a place. Rowan immediately agreed to this seeing as freezing their butts off on the Astronomy Tower wasn't the smartest thing to do.

The first time they met since the night on the Astronomy Tower was at nine in the morning, well after breakfast and Regulus was a little doubtful of the location she had sent him too. He had stood outside next to a giant painting that had a humongous pear. It was the biggest pear he had ever seen.

She had shown up, all smiles and had tickled the Pear with a finger leading a gaping Regulus into the kitchen. He protested that he already had breakfast, but Rowan waved this off.

"Well I have a free period during this time so I usually sleep till ten but I got up a whole extra hour early to meet with you so tough. What do you want?" she had asked plunking her butt down on a seat.

Nonetheless Regulus tucked into a second breakfast and highly enjoyed her company. However he accidentally let it slipped that he was bunking one of his classes in order to be there and she stopped eating her porridge.

"You what?" she demanded.

"I'm skipping Charms, it's not a big deal," he shrugged.

"Regulus Black! You will not be bunking lessons," she said reproachfully.

"Oh so when do you propose we meet then 'o smart one'?" he retorted.

"We'll skip lunch and just have lunch here, what day works for you?" she asked promptly.

He thought for a moment. "Thursday works for me,"

"Ok there we go. Lunch down here on Thursday. If you don't show, you will have you arse kicked to hell and back on Friday night," she threatened. He gave her a lopsided smile and shook his head.

So once again he found himself in her company, eating down in the kitchens whilst the rest of the school was eating in the same exact positions above them. He speared a roast potato and shook his head.

"Forlani I told you, you find me a piano, and then I will prove to you that I can play,"

"I'm up to my ears in stupid shit called…homework! Where do you expect me to find a piano in this crazy place?"

"Trust me, if there's a will, there's a way. Besides, if you're so brilliant at magic, can't you just conjure up one?"

"But where would I put it?" she complained. Then she added, "And I'm not brilliant. More often than not I'm a fair idiot who lands herself up in the Hospital Wing,"

"Stop," he interrupted firmly. "You are the most brilliant witch I have ever seen. The magic I've seen you do is amazing."

Rowan flushed pleasurably and he fought very hard to stop his face from breaking out into a scarily happy smile. It would probably send her running in the opposite direction.

"Fine. I'll continue to work on magically procuring a piano," she sarcastically remarked. Regulus just looked at her and she added, "No pun intended,"

"Of courrsssseeeee…."

Rowan snorted and continued to eat her lunch. She was too busy concentrating on her food to notice the keen stare Regulus was currently giving her.

Six months ago, Regulus would have never, ever, never ever thought that he would be sitting in the kitchen talking with a Gryffindor. If someone had said that he would, he probably would have told that person to go see their head straightened out. Hell, three months ago, if someone had told him he'd be on the receiving end of a Christmas present from the "gypsy girl" he would have slapped them.

But here he was, sitting across from the most complicated yet loveliest girl he had ever had the pleasure of knowing. For the first time, in a very long time, Regulus did not seem to mind the masses of people in the school, or putting up with the off putting and more often that not, vulgar humour of his house mates. It took him a little while to realise, but Regulus was happy. He was happy because they were friends.

"What?" She asked quizzically. Whoops. He broke out of his thoughts and shook his head. "Nothing,"

"Liar, you were in your head. What's up?"

"It's stupid,"

"Mate I do stupid things all the time!"

"I was just…musing. That's all."

"Musing about what?"

"This," he waved a hand between them.

She gave him the look that said, "_Explain_,"

He sighed and toyed with his fork. "I don't know. Sometimes I think this is so surreal you know? I never thought I'd be talking to you, let alone…get along with you because you know,"

"Yeah I know. But the world works in funny ways," she smiled.

"It does. Sometimes I think you're gonna wake up and realise that this was a big mistake, you keeping company with me—"

"Why?"

He just looked at her. "Rowan. Come on."

"Please tell me," she insisted needing to hear it from himself.

He sat back and thought for a moment. Then he said, "You know that we see differently on life, and what we believe in and that…yeah I'm a Death Eater. I do believe that the Dark Lord has the right ideas…and you? You're the opposite of everything and I don't even know why we get along, you would think that you'd want to maim me every time you see me. It just…it still surprises me that you can overlook the fact that I am a Death Eater. That's all."

Rowan digested this and gave him an enigmatic smile. "I can understand that and believe me, if any of my mates knew that you and I are friends,"

"We're friends?" he raised an eyebrow.

"Course we are," she replied so easily. A stupid sentimental feeling blossomed within him.

"As I was saying…if my mates knew that you and I were friends and got along they'd probably shove me off the Astronomy Tower or lock me up in the broom closet…but they do not see what I see,"

"What's that?" he asked very curious.

She gave him a lopsided smile. "I know we have different outlooks on life and this whole who should rule the world kind of thing…and I know that you're a Death Eater…but for me…that doesn't define you to me. When people say 'Regulus' I don't think "idiot who is a death eater' or 'Sirius' little brother', I think 'great duellist, bookworm, nice bloke'"

"Nice bloke?" he said floored.

She grinned at him. "Regulus you are one of the nicest people I know outside of the Gryffindor House, sorry to ruin your Slytherin credibility."

"So you see, to me you're not just a Death Eater…you're a person, you have the right to choose the way you want to live your live, the right to think the way you want to, as do I. And as long as our differences do not cause any harm to each other, I think we can put the differences aside and focus on the similarities and interests we do have." She went on candidly.

Regulus pushed his plate aside and leaned forward, greatly interested in what she was saying. He had never really thought of things the way before. "Whenever I'm around you, minus in Duelling Club, even though you're a death eater…I've never ever felt that you were going to harm me, or hurt me," she added on a more serious note.

"I'd never hurt you," he replied immediately. She smiled faintly. "I know Reg. I know. That's why we're friends."

A silence fell upon them while Regulus went through all of this in his head. "You're really brilliant you know," he finally said feeling very stupid as he said it.

"You told me that earlier,"

"No, not just in magical abilities…but I mean…you're brilliant, you're really cool Rowan. Not many people would ever think like that, but I am sure as hell glad that you do cos I'm really glad I can talk to you."

She beamed. "Me too!"

"So on that note, I have something for you," he said reaching into his bookbag. A curious expression lit her features as he slid a little wrapped package to her.

"What is this?"

"Consider it a horrendously late Christmas present, or birthday present, or a very, very, early birthday present. When is your birthday by the way?"

"July Seventeenth,"

"Noted, open it" he urged her.

A tinkly laugh escaped her as she unwrapped the gift and turned the little box in her hands. "Do I really want to open this?" she asked suspiciously.

"Yes damnit,"

"Fine!" with a feeling of slight trepidation, she opened the box and let a small gasp.

"Oh Regulus…this is lovely!" she exclaimed lifting the delicate bangle and examining it.

"You like it?" he asked a little nervous now suddenly doubting his little gift.

"I love it, it's so beautiful, and the shape is really original," she replied referring to the oval structure instead of the usual round shape of the bangle. It was silver with a pendant in middle of it. The pendent was a hand with a bright blue eye in the middle of it.

"It's this thing called the evil eye, it's considered to ward off evil and bad luck in the cultures from the middle east onwards and stuff…I saw it and thought of you. I thought it might be nice to have another charm against evil to join in with all of your traditional gypsy stuff," he babbled.

She was touched, she really. It was so thoughtful of him and she really liked the idea of adding more protection to her. Merlin knows she needed it.

"That's so cool! A person could ways use more protection against all the evil around the world…especially with these goddamn NEWTS."

He chuckled. "I'm sure you'll do fine,"

"I will now that I've got this one me!" she brandished her left wrist where the delicate bangle now rested.

* * *

On Valentine's Day Rowan glanced darkly at the enchanted ceiling. Girls were giggling themselves silly and there seemed to be a lot of pink everywhere, flowers, strawberry yoghurt, pink or red coloured fruit…valentines being delivered…yeeeaachhhh.

She despised Valentine's Day. It was just another big mush fest. The only remotely redeeming thing about it was the day after all the sweet shops had massive deals and sales on the chocolate they didn't sell beforehand. That's when her parents sent her the year's supply of chocolate for her.

"SIRIUS HAPPY VALENTINES DAY!" A group of girls shrieked chasing after him. Rowan burst out laughing and twisted around seeing Sirius tear past her in a flurry of movement try to evade his admirers.

"Someone give me breakfast!" He hollered making another mad dash around the long table.

"This is even better than watching a marathon," Marlene tittered.

"Yup," Lily said popping her 'p'.

"BREAKFAST!" Sirius yelled coming closer towards passing them. Rowan stuck a hand up in the air with a buttered piece of toast.

"INCOMING! FANK YOU!" Sirius yelled through a mouthful of toast after he snatched it out of her hand. He then dashed out of the Great Hall all together and disappeared. The mad group of fan girls followed him and the hall became much quieter.

"Man sometimes it really sucks to be Padfoot," Peter shook his head drinking his tea.

"He secretly loves it, morning love," James said kissing Lily and handing her some tiger lilies. She smiled.

"I figured that it'd be less mushy and more anti-valentines day like if I gave you tiger lilies since they're orange." He explained.

"Thank you! That's so thoughtful. You didn't have to bring me anything." Lily said fingering the delicate petals.

"I know but I didn't want to risk being the arse who didn't get his girlfriend anything on what is supposed to be the most romantic day of the year." James huffed helping himself to breakfast.

Lily giggled and placed a hand on his knee under the table. Marlene smiled at the pair them.

"I just want chocolate," Remus sighed.

"How about a piece of toast with nutella instead?" Marlene offered him a piece. Smiling, Remus took it from her and took a bite. "That'll do for now. Thanks."

"No problem love."

James exchanged a look with Lily at this little exchange between Remus and Marlene. Lily mouthed "_I'll tell you later_,"

* * *

"So Marlene broke up with Caradoc because she didn't love him anymore and because she fell for Remus instead? And now she's debating whether or not she ought to make a move? Is she unaware of the fact that Mooney has had a crush on her that is bigger than the Atlantic Ocean for the last two years?" James asked waving his free hand.

Lily and he were on patrol that night and one of the great things about dating the Head Girl was that he could slide his arm around her waist whilst doing Patrol. Nothing particularly dangerous or exciting usually happened on Patrol so he would often take the opportunity to sneak kisses with her.

"That sounds about right," Lily replied leaning closer towards him. They were walking along a deserted corridor and they had about an hour left on their patrol.

"Merlin's beard things are too bloody complicated in our group," James huffed.

"It's not that complicated. Marlene and Remus like each there but the logistics still need to be worked out, you and I are together and so far the world hasn't exploded yet, Peter is still Peter, Sirius unfortunately has a crush on Rowan who appears not the slightest bit interested."

"Yeah it's not complicated at all…" James drawled sarcastically.

Lily half smiled. "How's Sirius' crush coming along anyway?"

"Oh lord, Lily, I think he's half in love with her. Every time I catch him looking at her with this stupid goofy look." James groaned.

"Poor Sirius,"

"Poor Sirius? Poor US!" James exclaimed. "All he does is talk about her in the dorm or stares off into space, most likely thinking about her. We haven't done a good prank in ages."

"Cut him some slack dear. Isn't that what you used to do before we started dating? And he didn't say anything about it."

"Oh."

Lily gave him a knowing look. But then James added, "But sometimes he did!"

"Yeah well, suck it up."

"Sirius needs to man up and do something about this. Either she likes him or she doesn't, once he find out he can then do something or move on."

"James it's not quite as easy as that," Lily gently chided.

He muttered something under his breath and Lily wrapped her hand around his. "He's always encouraged you to never give up on me right?"

"Yeah…"

"So just go with it. Things will work out, or something like that with time."

"Fine fine fine. But what abut Mooney and Marly? That isn't so complicated."

"Well….she just broke up with Caradoc a month ago…and they dated for like a year…soooooo…."

"Oh man Mooney's still gonna be in the doldrums for a while huh?"

"Looks like it…"

"Well he and Sirius can be boatsmen together as they navigate the seas of emotional distress. Sirius is right good in the bloody doldrums too."

* * *

Sirius _would_ remain in the doldrums for quite some time, and not only because he was in love with Rowan, but also because he royally screwed up the balance of things so badly that it left Rowan refusing to talk to him.

"I can't believe you, you're an absolute _fucking_ bloody **prat**!" James hissed at Sirius as they clamoured through the Portrait Hole one night. It was the full moon and Remus was in the hospital recovering from the night's events, which to say, was terrifying for more parties than just them.

"He deserved it! He's been trying to get us in trouble since the day we've set foot in this school, he's always trying to fuck me over mate! And it's bad enough the rest of the Slytherin house is trying to screw me over, but at least they're upfront about it. No, he just likes hiding behind his curtain of greasy goddamn hair and trying to fuck me over!" Sirius whispered back angrily.

James shook his head muttering darkly to Sirius. He swore and then said something unprintable and moodily started up the staircase.

"Hey! Remus in the hospital wing?" Lily asked spying James who was about to follow Sirius.

Rowan lifted her eyes from her schoolwork and saw James with an extremely shifty, nervous look on his face. Something was off.

"Yeah. He had a reaaaalllly rough night." James said shifting on his feet.

"Aw, poor Remy. I'll go see him later."

"What's wrong James?" Rowan asked reading him like a book. He was like her brother.

"Nothing," he replied too quickly. She narrowed her eyes.

"James Ignotus Potter if something is wrong, 'fess up right now otherwise I'm gonna thrash you." She said in a calm voice.

James debated his choices and knew fully well what Rowan could do. "Fine. But come upstairs. Both of you. We need to be private about this."

"James? Did something bad happen?" Lily asked feeling a bit scared.

"To put it mildly….yes." he replied shortly stomping up the stairs.

* * *

_A/N: **Be good and please review! xoxoxo**_


	34. Fallout

_A/N: Thanks for your support. I've been hunting and high and low for my motivation everywhere and haven't found it lately so hopefully it'll make itself known soon...anyway. Sorry for the short chapter but it's better than a really long wait between a chapter eh? Enjoy._

* * *

"You did _**WHAT**_**?"** Rowan bellowed slapping her hands on hips.

James had clued the girls on the events of the night just moments before and now Sirius was staring down the face of Rowan's wrath.

"He deserved it! He's a piece of fucking scum!" Sirius yelled back.

"You could have caused someone to _die _tonight you fucking idiot!" Rowan snarled.

"He's a fucking death eater! What's one less? They're always going to be more!" Sirius replied hotly.

"I can't believe you did that Sirius…oh god." Lily shook her head and flopped down wearily on James' bed. Peter watched everyone with anxious eyes. He hated when there was yelling.

"I know. Even I told him that his was crossing way over the line." James replied rumpling his hair.

"It was a joke! I didn't think the git would actually go and do it!" Sirius said annoyed.

"What kind of sick joke is telling Snape to go down and press the knot of the bloody Whomping Willow and following you guys down to see where you guys go…on A FULL BLOODY MOON NIGHT!" Rowan shouted throwing her hands up in the air.

"Well, what kind of idiot actually goes and does _that_?" Sirius cried at his wit's end.

"Oh bloody hell," Lily sighed throwing an arm over her face. Suddenly she felt very, very exhausted.

"You want to know the worst part?" James asked adding kindling to the fire. Sirius gave him a beseeching look, which he promptly ignored. "Before I managed to get down and drag the idiot's sorry arse out of there, Snape actually managed to see Mooney, who was already in transformation!"

"WHAT?" Rowan shrieked even angrier than before. Lily looked at James with wide eyes.

"Oh _no_," she whispered.

"Oh no is exactly right…but he didn't get bitten, he wasn't anywhere close enough thank god…"

"But now he knows…" Lily said anxiously.

"Yeah, well Dumbledore has sworn him to secrecy, he's up with him and Mooney in the Hospital Wing now. Snape was literally crying from fright."

"Who wouldn't?" Lily said.

"Rowan didn't," James replied mildly remembering her reaction upon being confronted by a werewolf.

"That doesn't matter. God. I can't believe. Sirius, how stupid_ are_ you?" Rowan said through gritted teeth.

"He deserved it." Sirius threw back still feeling angry.

"What would you do if he had died? Tell me, Remus would have gotten thrown out of school, and probably thrown in Azkaban, and you might have gone there too! Did it ever occur to you that you didn't just put Remus and Snape's life on the line, but yours as well!" Rowan growled.

"Oh! And you're the one to talk! You're the one who said that you understood wanting to get back at the bloody Slytherins for making my life miserable! Well I'm sorry I couldn't wait until school ended!"

"I didn't mean to go and try and kill someone! SOMEONE COULD HAVE DIED TONIGHT DO YOU REALISE THAT YOU BLOODY GIT?" Rowan shouted. Peter pulled his comforter around him. He had never, ever, seen Rowan this mad.

"I—" Sirius tried to say but Rowan steamrollered over him. "No! Sirius…god. This is just way over the line. Besides, it's Rosier and Wilkes who make your life annoying! Christ Sirius, this makes you just as bad as them."

The room went deathly silent. Sirius paled and Peter shrank into his comforter knowing that this too, was crossing the line.

"Bad as them?" Sirius repeated quieter. "As in the Slytherins?"

She didn't say anything but gave him a glowering look. "Snape could have died tonight. Remus could have had his entire life ruined. _You_ could have ruined your life. Not even your brother would have done something like this."

"My what?" Sirius growled.

"Your brother. God. Goddamnit Sirius, you don't even appear fucking sorry about the whole thing!"

"That's a low blow. My brother is an idiot. He's a bloody death eater. You think he's nice?" Sirius said getting angry again.

"I KNOW!"

"You know?HOW?"

"Because!"

"Because why?"

"Because I'm friends with him!" Rowan spat out defiantly. Sirius felt as if he had been slapped.

"You're what with him?" Sirius asked needing to be sure.

"We're friends. And you know what Sirius? I'm beginning to notice more and more differences between the two of you! HE WOULD HAVE NEVER DONE SOMETHING LIKE THIS!"

"I can't believe you're friends with him! He's…" Sirius began yelling incomprehensibly.

"Oh man, I didn't believe that things could get worse," James mumbled to Lily who nodded and curled into his chest.

Sirius and Rowan shouted for quite some time, not caring that their mates were in the room with them. Sirius couldn't believe what was happening. Rowan couldn't believe Sirius was _that_ stupid.

"This is just. God I don't have to apologize to you about how I live my fucking life." Rowan swore.

"Then I don't have to apologize to you to making stupid decisions on how I ruin my life!" Sirius threw back.

"You really don't get it do you? You don't realise that your actions affect more people than just you?" Rowan folded her arms across her chest.

Sirius didn't say anything. He just stood there, his grey eyes heated with anger. "And you don't realise it either? That there's more to life than just you, and your own little world, do you?" he said in a carefully controlled voice.

"Oh no," Lily whispered.

"Oh god. Smooth move you git…" James muttered under his breath.

"What the hell is that supposed to mean?" Rowan asked angrily.

"Exactly that. You're always doing your own things, by yourself, always wrapped up in your own stuff, never bothering to realize that there are people who want to be apart of that world! You just go on with your nose stuck in the goddamn air without caring about anyone else's feelings!"

_Slap_.

Sirius' hand flew to his face. She had slapped him.

"I don't care about anyone's feeling?" Rowan said in a hushed voice. "Why do you think I'm so upset right now? Are you really that bloody thick?"

"You slapped me," Sirius said still stunned.

"You deserve it." Rowan said quietly before spinning on her heel and storming out banging the door hard behind her.

* * *

Sirius exhaled and then nearly collapsed on his bed. He felt shaky.

James and Lily looked over at him. "What?" he growled turning on his side.

"Are you really that stupid mate?" James asked incredulously.

"Pardon?"

"Sirius, the reason why she's so furious with you is because you could have fucked up your life big time!" Lily exclaimed.

"It's my life," he replied sullenly.

"Besides the fact that you jeopardized Remus' and Snapes'…no…she's more upset at the fact that you're not sorry, and because she cares about you and then you go and do something that could ruin it...god Sirius, she obviously cares about you, you dolt." Lily cried out at her patience's end.

He blinked. "She cares about me? What?"

"Augh!" Lily shrieked falling back down on James' bed. Peter sighed. It was time to step on in.

"Sirius. You basically told Rowan that you found her self involved in her own life, apparently not caring about anyone else's feelings or lives, and the reason she is so pissed at you is because you put three lives in jeopardy tonight, but most importantly, you put _your_ life on the line for a stupid reason and Rowan doesn't like stupidity that much." Peter explained.

"Oh."

Lily made a face. "I basically said the same thing, and you don't understand me!"

"Peter's a bloke. We speak the same language."

"Is that…_english_?"

"No. Douchery." Sirius replied shortly. He felt more and more like a gigantic prick right about now.

"I think she's more upset at the fact that she's upset over the fact that you might have ruined your own life." Peter thoughtfully said. Lily nodded thinking this through.

"Huh?"

"I think she cares for you Sirius, and maybe now she's beginning to face the music," Peter clarified.

"Aaannnnd you just mucked things up royally by channelling your inner Slytherin," James announced.

"Oh fuck me sideways." Sirius groaned clapping his hands over face.

Rowan didn't talk, or even _look_ at Sirius the next couple of days. In fact, she bypassed sitting with them at meals all together, instead going to class, sleeping during the day between them and then staying up all night to do her work. She barricaded herself in the library and caused more than one first year to run in the opposite direction with her murderous glare.

"She's really mad isn't she?" Remus asked at breakfast a couple of weeks after "the incident".

"Yeah she is. Plus she's strained. Not a good combination." Peter yawned pouring himself some coffee.

Sirius didn't say anything but instead focused on rereading his Potions Homework. Even when she wasn't around, she still got to him. Amazing.

Needless to say, with her absences, the group felt the dynamic change within them. Marlene missed Rowan and comforted herself by spending more one on one time with Remus, Lily and James were wrapped around each other and Peter, to everyone's surprise, was busy studying himself to death, or at least, trying to studying himself to death. This left Sirius alone with himself, and his thoughts, which at this moment in time, wasn't a good thing.

He became a champion brooder over the next fortnight as Rowan increasingly made herself scarce. She didn't seat in front of him in Arithmancy anymore, and she chose to sit way in the back of all the classes they had shared as well. He felt as if there was a hole in him that grew bigger every day the more she distanced herself from him.

Rowan stabbed her quill quite ferociously into her inkpot and scowled when she saw that she had snapped it half.

"God fucking damnit," she hissed under her breath crunching the useless quill in her hands. Then she gave up and slumped back in her seat.

Things were just so messed up right now.

Her mind was whirling with a thousand thoughts and emotions, and her emotions were getting in the bloody way of her being able to concentrate and now she felt she had reached her emotional boatload capacity. Her head was going to explode and then she'd be headless and flunk all her examinations. Wonderful.

And the piece de resistance, was that she was stretching herself too thin by preparing and practising for the Barnaby Finklu Spell Casting Award the Dumbledore had told her nearly two years ago. A little bit after the new term had started she was summoned into his office by Dumbledore himself. He had sat her down for a nice little chat about the competition, the rules and why she should try for it and in the end Rowan marched out clutching the official entry form in her hand already signed with Dumbledore's nomination.

Needless to say, Rowan was extremely, extremely exhausted, mentally and physically because of all of this.

Rowan felt something warm sting the corner of her eyes and blinked furiously. No bloody well was she going to break down crying in the library. Crying only to be done alone. In the shower. Not even in bed. She didn't have time to cry right now.

Moodily, she packed up her things and banged her way out of the library feeling the primal urge to scream her lungs out but having to wait until she was outside. Unfortunately she nearly ran bang into Sirius who was making his way towards a table. Her mouth stiffened and she looked past him. Sirius opened his mouth to say something but Rowan had already pushed past him and strode off without a backwards glance.

Sirius sighed and rumpled his hair for the umpteenth time because of his misery. Indeed, ever since "the incident" and the terrible blow up with Rowan, he hadn't had a decent hair day since.

Most people in school were accustomed to Rowan's temperamental moods, but most students had never seen her this ferociously angry. Most students in the younger years chalked it up from the stress of NEWTs which was enough to drive anyone over the edge, Rowan half-heartedly wished it was only the bloody NEWTs that got her knickers in a sorry ass twist.

Normally when confronted with jackasses who liked to tease or taunt her of her ethnicity or for the mere fact, that she existed,Rowan would normally try and evade using magic or getting into fight with them, instead opting to piss them off with rhetorical banter or one liners, but when Rosier and Wilkes came across her one sorry fine day, she had lost all patience with dealing with them nicely.

Rosier wolf whistled and leered at her, "Well, well, you're looking particularly fine for a dirty gypsy slut," thinking that the smouldering look that had graced Rowan's feature for the last month or so really suited her. Wilkes chortled and took a step closer to her.

Peter and Marlene froze where they were. They were on their way to their next class and Peter felt that he should do something…but Rosier and Wilkes scared him and Sirius nor James were here for him to back up. Of course _he'd _never be the one to be backed up.

Rowan's hands balled into fists and Wilkes came even closer, being so bold to grab her wrist in effort to provoke her. It worked.

"Oh _no_ mate, don't fucking touch me," Rowan snarled stomping her foot and wrenching her wrist away from him. Wilkes flew backwards into the air and hit the opposite wall with a sickening crunch.

* * *

_A/N: *cue dramatic music* **I'd really appreciate if you guys could review**. Tell me what I'm doing right, tell me what I'm doing wrong! xoxoxo_


	35. Breakdown

_A/N: As always, thanks for your kindness and reviews._

* * *

"You want to play rough love? Cos I _DO_!" Rowan growled turning her wrath on Rosier. Forgetting about the fact that Marlene and Peter were there and the fact that she had a wand, Rowan raised her left hand and suddenly Rosier was blasted off his feet and was thrown into the wall as well. He crumpled into a heap.

Wilkes stirred but Rowan wasn't finished. She strode over to him and gave him a swift kick in his ribs with her boot. He howled in pain. Peter squeaked with fright and Marlene clutched his arm.

"What's gotten into her?" She whispered.

"She snapped!" Peter replied.

"I swear to _lucifer_ Wilkes, if you ever, ever come near me again, I'm gonna do a whole lot of damage to you. You won't be able to _walk_ again if you come near me." Rowan whispered. He stared up at her in sheer terror.

Rowan pointed her finger at his head and said, "Say ciao to your memories…_obliviate_," and a dreamy look slid on his face. She had erased this particular memory from his head.

She did the same to Rosier and then gathered up her things. "What?" she asked flatly looking at her mates.

"Are we just going to leave them there?" Marlene asked still slightly stunned.

Rowan shrugged. "If I had it my way, then yeah."

"Buuuuutttttt…." Peter said.

"But seeing as you two look like you're going to jump out of your skin I'll go take them to the Hospital Wing. You two go on out without me." Rowan rolled her sleeves up and conjured up two stretchers. She levitated the two hulking Slytherins on them and then carefully monitored them in the air conducting them with her wand.

"Okay then…well. Erm. We'll see you later then," Marlene said in an unnaturally high voice.

"See you," Rowan reiterated keeping her eyes trained on the two boys. After depositing them in the Hospital Wing with a clever lie to cover up why they were knocked in the first place, she decided to cut the rest of her classes. She wasn't in the mood to be around anyone any more.

* * *

"Seriously you guys, it was really bloody scary. She knocked them both out!" Marlene said in a hushed voice.

The six of them were hauled up in the Boys Dorm once again. Rowan was nowhere to be seen of course and Marlene and Peter wasted no time retelling the events of the afternoon to the rest of the group.

"Wait, you're telling me, that this time, she really thrashed them?" James asked disbelievingly.

"She knocked them both out by slamming them into walls! Then she wiped their minds!" Marlene exclaimed. This disturbed her.

"Wow this is pretty intense…I mean Rowan is pretty volatile when she gets in her moods and she's always had a…steak of…" James was unable to finish this sentence.

"….Madness?" Peter supplied. James shot him an annoyed look. What Peter really wanted to say was "darkness" but he figured this would piss James off royally and wanted to evade confrontation.

"She's brilliant, but yeah. Madness seems to be a good word," Marlene nodded emphatically, after all she had witnessed the whole show down with her own eyes. Lily bit her lip.

"When she gets mad or upset, her magic echoes that," Sirius quietly remarked knowing her more intimately in some ways then James or Remus ever had thanks to his late nights with her spent studying and talking.

"Are you telling me that her magic is connected to her emotions?" Remus raised an eyebrow.

"No, her mind. She told me about it once, in Roma or gypsy blood, their magic is different. It's very connected with their mind. They can do a lot of things if they just focus hard enough and channel their will power properly. The more volatile they are, the more potent their magic is,"

"She didn't use a wand either," Marlene said remembering now.

"She can do wandless magic?" Lily asked surprised.

"Well…apparently yeah."

"How long is this going to go on for? Why on earth is she so pissed?" Marlene flopped back on Remus' bed. He shifted a bit leaving a respectable amount of space between them. Ok. So he was a little old fashioned.

James and Sirius exchanged dark glances. "She got into a terrible fight with Padfoot," James finally said and Sirius mumbled something under his breath.

"Oh no, don't tell me she's mad at you because you told her you were in love with her!" Marlene exclaimed sitting upright.

James, Lily, Remus and Peter whipped their heads and stared at Sirius. He gave Marlene a sarcastic double thumbs up. She gave him a sheepish look. "Whoops."

"Whoa! When did you cross over from fancying her to loving her?" James asked bewildered.

"I think I was always in the zone, but I was too thick headed to realise it until about a month ago and then I royally mucked things up sooo….."

Lily slapped the back of Sirius' head lightly. "You didn't tell us!" she said accusingly.

"I don't have to tell you everything!"

"You told Marlene!"

"I was helping her after she broke up with Caradoc! I was distracting her!"

"You broke up with Caradoc?" Remus asked confused turning to look at her. She shrugged. "Yeah. About two months ago."

"Oh."

James had to fight to keep the grin from appearing from his face. My god it felt good to smile. He hadn't seen Rowan smile in ages. He hadn't heard any of her crazy conversations regarding conspiracy theories, the possibilities of being able to have a moon colony or oddball muggle contraptions coming in her dreams and chasing her trying to electrocute her to death.

Lily had to smile faintly at how clueless Remus was sometimes, he was so sweet that way, she mused idly tracing patterns on James' leg.

"Well then…what on earth did you do to piss her off so badly?" Marlene persisted.

"Something really bad, I almost ruined my life, let's just put it that way."

"Geez. By the looks of it, you would have thought that you ruined _her_ life too." Peter muttered under his breath.

"You did," Lily said and Peter flushed realising that she had heard.

"I did what?" Sirius asked a little bit fuddled.

"You kind of mucked up her life too Sirius. She was going fine before and then you had to go and be a dick head and disappoint her by your sheer stupidity. She had such high hopes for you Sirius, she really believed that you can make something out of yourself regardless of your home life and family and you just went and proved her wrong, in a lot of ways. Yes, she's really mad at you Sirius, but the she's really, really disappointed in you Sirius. You let her down, and you know for her that's one thing she does not tolerate."

"Awesome," he said dejectedly.

Lily sighed and stretched. "I would say you could prolli persuade her mind to think otherwise but seeing as she's not talking to you right now…well…you're between a rock and a hard place right now."

"Geez, you think I don't know that?" he replied cynically.

* * *

While the rest of them were busy piling on Sirius about how he mucked up everyone's life, Rowan was perched up on the roof of the Astronomy Tower once again. Except this time, she was crying.

She hadn't meant to cry, it just happened. She had just been holding everything in for so long that she had snapped today with Rosier and Wilkes that she just couldn't hold it in any more. The cracks in her armour had turned into massive crevices and finally it all just crumbled away.

Rowan cried for a long time for a myriad of things. She wept because she was so, so tired. She wept because she had intentionally inflicted harm on someone else today, and the worst part was, she _didn't_ feel bad about it. She cried because of that, it made her just as bad as the Slytherins and to some extent Sirius. She cried because Sirius had almost ruined his life and didn't appear the least bit concerned about it, and she cried for Remus for being a werewolf in the first place which wasn't fair since he was the sweetest boy she had known. She sobbed because she hated not talking to Sirius, that he was one of her best friends and she cried because he was really one of the stupidest people she had ever met because he apparently _didn't get it._ He could have been expelled, or worse, he could have utterly ruined his life, and then that would ruin hers.

And finally, she cried because Regulus and her couldn't be proper friends in this lifetime and that really bothered her.

She had cried for so long that her throat felt raw and scratchy and her nose felt two sizes bigger. Yuck. This is why she despised crying.

"Rowan?" A voice called up to her. Stilling, she frantically tried to wipe all remains of her crying jag from her face.

"Regulus?" she said a little hoarsely. She coughed and cleared her throat.

"Evening, can I come up?" he asked peering up at in the inky darkness.

"I'll come down, hold on," Rowan replied before jumping down like a cat before straightening up, she crossed over to the balcony and leaned against it. Regulus stuffed his pockets in his hands and studied her.

"You've been crying," he said quietly.

"Unfortunately."

"What's wrong?"

Rowan didn't speak for a moment. She felt another lump in her throat. God. Why did he have to go and be nice?

"A lot of things. Regulus…I did something bad today." Rowan said not knowing why she felt the urge to tell him this.

"…Did you blow another hole in the school?"

She half choked, half laughed. "I wish. No….I thrashed Rosier and Wilkes today."

Regulus didn't say anything, instead giving her a razor sharp look. She continued. "They were being their usual dick heads…and this time…I snapped. I banged them both against a wall and I broke Wilkes' ribs….then I wiped their memories of it."

He stared at her utterly flabbergasted. "Oh. Oh Merlin in a side-car with granny panties."

This time she laughed and rubbed her eyes. "I know! I'm a horrible, horrible, person."

"You would have made a damn good Slytherin," he said unthinkingly. She whapped his arm.

"I know! That's the terrible part. I don't even feel bad about it."

Regulus' mind sharpened at that. He privately thought that personally speaking, this girl would make an excellent guerrilla fighter, or worse, a death eater. But he didn't say anything.

"Regulus! Say something damnit."

"Why'd you do it? Usually you just verbally spar with them. What changed?"

"I just…snapped. A lot of things are mucked up right now and I dunno Regulus. I just lost it." Rowan sighed turning to look down over the balcony.

He sidled up to her but left a polite space between them. He was close, but not close as he'd like. Close-ish.

"Rowan can I ask you something?"

"Go ahead,"

"If you had to, would you kill someone?" he asked quietly.

She didn't answer for a moment. "Yes. If someone tried to fuck me or my family over. I would kill them." She finally replied in a low voice.

He nodded. "What's gotten you so upset? Lately I've seen you looking like you really are going to kill someone."

"Your brother did something really bad and we got into a huge fight." She answered nonchalantly.

"What'd he do?" Regulus asked curiously.

"I'm sorry, I can't tell you. If I could I would," Rowan apologetically said. He nodded again. "That's ok. I'm sorry you're so miserable."

Rowan looked at him. "I'm miserable?" she asked surprised.

"You look like someone has died. I've never seen you look so unhappy before. You're absolutely bloody miserable."

She studied him. "As to all the other time you've seen me…?"

Regulus shifted and then resignedly said. "I've seen you smiling, happy, serious, thoughtful, confused, annoyed, angry, irritated, sad…but never this sad or unhappy. When you're serious, you get this line in your forehead. Usually you just have this cool, languid look about you, which is funny seeing that you're probably the most chaotic person I know."

Rowan blinked. "How do you know all of this?"

"I've studied you." He simply replied feeling faintly embarrassed.

A hint of a smile appeared on her face. "From where?"

"Across the Great Hall. In the library. Duelling club. When we have our clandestine lunches and breakfasts together." He shrugged. He did _not_, however, mention the fact that he had gone into Sirius' room the past summer after he had fled from home and he had come across some odds and ends in his room. One odd and end being a faded, crumpled picture of him, Rowan and James. Both his brother and James were smiling like idiots, but Rowan had on that enigmatic little smile that best became her and Regulus found himself intrigued by it. So he had kept the photo, folding the part with James and Sirius back, only keeping Rowan visible. He had spent a lot of time trying to figure out what she could be smiling at.

He then found himself spending a lot of time trying to figure her out, even before she was his duelling partner. He couldn't for the life of him explain it though.

"I see. Well. Yeah things could be a lot better now…I wish they were." She exhaled and drew her robes tighter around her.

"Well…hopefully things will work out. But until then…you should really get some sleep." He said scrutinizing her face.

She waved a hand. "Seriously. You look terrible, no offense, plus how lame would it be for your tombstone to say "Rowan Forlani 'Died of Sleep Deprivation', when you're you?" Regulus said trying to make things lighter.

It worked. She chuckled. "Okay. I'll try. In fact I'm pretty exhausted now. Maybe I'll be able to go to sleep. Thanks Regulus."

"Sure. Go to bed now okay?"

"I will…I'll see you in Duelling Club okay? Night." Rowan went back inside the Astronomy Tower.

"Wait," he called after her. She stopped and turned around. "What?"

"Come here," he commanded.

Rowan frowned slightly but came back to him. Silently, Regulus wrapped his arms around her and hugged her.

At first, she stilled, not sure of what she was supposed to do. But then she realised she was so, _so_ physically exhausted and emotionally drained that she realised he was giving her exactly what she needed right now, human comfort without asking why.

So she hugged him back tightly and closed her eyes, feeling how slim and delicate his build was. A faint crease appeared in her forehead as she realised how fragile Regulus could be and worried about him.

She felt him grip her harder, the hug was bearing on the point of being a little painful, bones being figuratively crushed, but she didn't mind, she liked it. It made her feel better.

"Thank you," she said finally letting go of him. He nodded slightly at her. Then he did something that reminded her repressively of Sirius. He stretched out a long finger and traced one of the scars that trailed down the underside of her jaw. "Please take care of yourself Rowan? You really need to. We're not invincible, we're human." He said quietly.

For some ridiculous reason a lump made it's presence known in her throat. Great, she was going to start crying again. "I know Reg. and I will. I'll try to take care of myself,"

"No, you won't try, you will," he corrected softly, but firmly. She looked at him curiously and saw that his eyes were deadly serious.

"I will," she confirmed.

"Good, now go and get sleep." He pushed her back slightly and she nodded, turning away from him again.

Regulus watched her go and then clamoured up to the roof where he and Rowan usually sat. He wasn't sure what made him hug her like that, but he did know what he really wanted to do was press a kiss to her forehead but knew that would be crossing the line so he refrained from it. He sighed. He worried about her, a lot. She was going to run herself into the ground if she didn't stop and slow down a little and Regulus did not want to see her suffer through going through a breakdown, cos that would lead _him_ to breaking down.

She was the strongest person he knew, and if she collapsed then everything he knew would collapse too.

He replayed what she had told him earlier tonight and decided that things just got suddenly very much more interesting….

* * *

_A/N: Major character foreshadowing there that'll come into play later on. **I'd love if you could review :) xoxoxo**_


	36. Minuet

_A/N: **I just want to reiterate how thankful I am for all of your support, encouragement and reviews.** As I told one reader, I always try to reply to every review because it's the LEAST I can do after you lot take the time to leave a review. I wish I could do more honestly. A few notes, remember this fic is rated M for violence and language, not smut (I can't write smut, it makes me go all ognowene) and Rowan is far from perfect as you gleaned from the last chapter, and her many flaws will be revealed over the course of the story as we move on to them finishing school. She's probably my favourite OC to write because she has so many flaws actually. Ok with that being said, here we go!_

* * *

Regulus glared up at the canopy of his bed. He hated this.

He hated that somehow all of her big problems, became _his_ big problems.

Girls sucked sometimes. And she wasn't even his stupid girlfriend.

She was his friend however.

Funny how sometimes those two words often shared the same set of problems.

He hated seeing her so unhappy. Whatever Sirius did, however big, however stupid, however disastrous, he wanted to thrash the stupid bugger's head.

That or either chop of his brother's hair.

Yeah, he could totally do that, he sarcastically thought. He'd just rappel down the side of the Gryffindor Tower, break into the Seventh Year's Boy's dormitory, put a silencing charm on his brother and the cut off his hair.

Yeah.

He just wanted to see her smile again. He did not like seeing her so unhappy.

He spent an awful lot of time in the library of Hogwarts, and had read a good amount of books in his years, but he had yet to find a book that explained how to handle girls.

This was hopeless. He was hopeless.

_The world, is hopeless_, the very pessimistic voice in his head said.

_Shut up_, the seldom heard optimistic voice countered.

Oh great, now he was hearing the voices in his head.

Shut up, voices, he grumbled.

Her unhappiness was eating him up alive, and he couldn't even confide in anyone because no one, in this stupid stinking house would understand.

If he tried talking to Snape about this, Snape would probably look at him incredulously and wonder if he had accidentally inhaled some weird potion fumes or something like that.

And he very well couldn't tell anyone else, Narcissa, Rosier, Wilkes, anyone, he couldn't tell anyone.

Ugh this was driving him bonkers.

What the heck he was supposed to do? Dance the Mexican hurracha while wearing a tophat?

He needed someone, or something to tell him what the fuck he should do. This is like trying to locate a bloody piano in this school.

He might have better luck trying to locate the stupid piano than trying to figure out what was bothering her. And then with sudden realisation of what he ought to do, he sat upright in bed, wanting to face palm himself for not even thinking about this earlier.

* * *

"What do you want?" She said so quietly her lips not even moving.

"You want to hear me play the piano?" Regulus whispered hovering right behind her.

She was shut up in her books yet again, locked away in one of the corners of the library that no one ever came in, especially now since the whole school knew she was furious with Sirius.

"What?" she whispered back jerking her head up.

"Ow!" Regulus cried quietly as her head bumped into his chin.

"Sorry!" she clapped her hands over her mouth.

"You have a hard head," he grumbled.

"They don't call me stubborn for nothing," she replied dryly.

"Anyway. Do you want me to prove it to you that I can play the piano or not?"

"What conked you in the head? Regulus, are you really that daft, I am _not_ in the mood to have my chain yanked around,"

"This is not me trying to pull the wool over your eyes, last chance, take it or leave it. Do you want me to prove it to you that I can play the bloody piano or not?" Regulus hissed growing annoyed.

Rowan shot him a sharp look. "Ok fine, let's go see this prodigal piano player," she got up.

Regulus slapped a hand on her wrist. "No so fast Nimbus 1200,"

Her eyebrow rose. "Did you just refer to me as a broom?"

"The fastest broom in the quidditch world currently!"

"I am," her diction exquisite. "_Not,_ a broom,"

"Shut up will you? Meet me at the corner of the tapestry of Barnabas the Barmy trying to teach the trolls ballet. And you have to dress up,"

"_What_?" she asked incredulously. Because that was the most ridiculous part of it all.

"You want to hear me play the piano then you have to dress up. As in Winter Formal kind of dress up," he repeated.

"Why?"

"Because I don't really want to play the piano just like I know you hate dressing up. It seems fair that we both do something we don't really want to do,"

"Then why do you insist on doing it? You don't really have to play the piano you know!" she said irritated.

"Because I cannot _stand_ seeing you look this miserable!" Regulus exclaimed exasperated throwing his arms out.

Rowan opened her mouth but her barrelled over here. "Look, whatever my idiotic brother has done, I'm really sorry, really, but guess what Rowan? You can't go about looking like you're going to kill someone and throw people into walls and rubbish,"

"But—" he cut her off with a wave of his hand. "No buts. See this is the thing, you have to bear in mind that other people are affected by your actions and moods too. It's safe to say that rest of your little…group or mates or whatever are just as miserable as you when you're in this foul mood. And that's not fair. You cannot go around sending suits of armour toppling down, you cannot go around and cause the girls bathroom to flood, _again_,"

"That was Moaning Myrtle!"

"You cannot go cutting classes and loosing your temper at first years for taking your chair in the Common Room," he talked over her.

"How would you know any of this!"

"People talk," he replied loftily.

"Your brother fucked up really bad!" she stated angrily.

"I know and I'm sorry, but that is not my problem. Neither is it Potter's, Evan's, McKinnon's or whoever else. You shouldn't take it out on them. It not fair. You need to remember again, that your actions and moods affect the ones that love you the most. Whatever problems you have with my brother, you have to deal with them with him, I'm sorry if I sound like a bastard but you're acting like a bitch and that isn't fair to your mates or to anyone." Regulus said flatly.

Rowan gaped at him. She couldn't believe that he had just said all that. He had called her out. He had called her a bitch.

He was right.

The maddening thing was that he was right. It annoyed her that none of her mates had the guts to call her out on this; she had been acting atrociously the past month or so.

"So guess what Forlani, straighten yourself up. This isn't the you that I know," Regulus said in harsh voice. She inwardly winced. He was pissed.

Swallowing, she met his eyes. "Yeah okay. You're right. I'll…pull myself together and try to handle this a little better,"

"Good. Remember. Eight o'clock. Don't be late. I'm not a fan of tardiness, and dress up" Regulus replied briskly before getting up.

"Right. See you at eight," she affirmed.

Regulus gave her a long, hard look before nodding his head slightly. Rowan felt very small under that look. This was the first time someone had ever kind of...disciplined her. It felt strange. She was so used to bending and flouting rules and conventions and getting into trouble and all that sort, and no one had ever called her out on her behaviour before. School detentions were not the same thing as having someone you care about tell you bluntly that you need to pull yourself together.

Regulus Black, she mused as she gathered up her things, was just full of more and more surprises. She liked that. In this mad cap school, she was beginning to feel he was the only person who was truly sane around here. He had his head firmly planted on his shoulders which was a good thing because right now her head was dangerously swinging off its hinges and if things continued to be like this between her and Sirius, it might was fall off.

_Stupid bloody Black Brothers_, she thought. _You two are making my life one big long potions exams._

* * *

This was stupid.

She looked stupid.

Rowan tugged at the bodice of her dress and twisted around to see if everything looked all right and was in the right place. She was going to give Regulus a piece of her mind once she saw him. She really hated dressing up.

She didn't hate dresses, she just hated dressing up because she felt like she looked like an idiot in them. She hated dressing up nearly as much as she hated wearing high heels, which she also had to do tonight.

This night was already off to a fantastic start, Rowan thought sourly as she leaned into the mirror. She applied the one lipstick she had and then stepped back to study the effect.

She didn't look so terrible, she thought. And at least she didn't have to deal with the entire school watching her this time. People's attention on her freaked her out a lot, she had almost an irrational fear of people looking at her. Her brother said that was intense paranoia.

Rowan slipped on her schoolrobe and then carefully set out to climb down the stairs. As she did, she was relieved to find that none of her mates were in the common room. The last thing she needed to do was for them to see her all tarted up. What was even a greater relief, and even stranger was that she didn't run into any familiar faces at as she made her way to where Barnabus was. The only person she walked past was Benjy who cave her a curious look as he past her in the hall. Rowan barely even saw him as she was so lost in her thoughts. At last she found Regulus lounging outside the tapestry of Barnabus, his hand shoved inside his pockets. He was wearing a suit, and looked very handsome, she thought.

"Hey," she called out.

"Evening," Regulus raised an eyebrow. "Your school uniform doesn't count as dressing up,"

"Show me the piano and I show you the dress," she replied.

He rolled his eyes. "Fine. Stand here," he gestured with a hand.

Rowan watched curiously as Regulus walked back and forth a stretch of the carpet, his eyes screwed shut, his lips mouthing something. A few moments later, a large door materialized. Regulus opened his eyes and smiled.

"C'mon," he wrenched open the door and waited for her to go in before him. She eyed him warily. "What is this?"

"Go in and see," he encouraged.

Rowan took a deep breath and stepped over the threshold and Regulus grinned when he heard her explain "HOLY SHIT!"

Her voice echoed in the handsome marble ballroom that had greeted her eyes. In awe, she turned around in a circle, her eyes huge as she took in everything. Her fingers undid the clasp of her robe and she shrugged it off, not noticing Regulus' sharp intake of breath as he saw her properly in the light of the ballroom.

She was so, so lovely, he thought as he scrutinized her appearance. She wore a strapless, long, deep blue dress that had a slit than ran up her thigh. On the bodice glittered delicate bead work that emphasized her chest. Her hair, of course, was tied up in its usual bun, and fancy chandelier earrings dangled from her ears.

She really needed to dress up more often, Regulus thought tearing his eyes away from her.

"What is this place?" she asked curiously.

"The Room of Requirement. A magical room that transforms itself into whatever you need it to be,"

"Ah,"

"Yeah it's one of those rarely used room in Hogwarts. Not many people know about it. And those who do, usually come across it by mistake and then never find it again as they don't really know what the room truly is,"

"So how'd you find it?"

"I have my ways," Regulus answered a little enigmatically.

"Now I know why you told me to dress up, this place is amazing," she said studying their reflection in the huge mirror that was on the wall across from them.

No, not really, Regulus thought wryly.

"Sit," he gestured to the elegant armchair that was beside the baby grand piano.

Rowan gave him a soft look and she eased herself in the armchair. "Holy mother of merlin, this chair is comfy," she sighed sinking back.

"Glad to hear it," Regulus slid into the piano bench and flexed his fingers. For a minute there was silence and then he placed his hands on the keys. This was the first time he was going to play for someone that wasn't his teacher or his family. He hesitated for a moment.

"Ok Regulus, I'm ready to be amazed," she said eagerly.

He bent his head down to hide the smile that was threatening to ruin his concentration. "Ok then,"

And then he started to play.

* * *

Rowan's mouth dropped open in astonishment. She was completely blown away. He wasn't just good, he was _incredible_. Her eyes widened as she saw his fingers fly over the keys easily.

There was no sheet music, she realized. He was playing from memory, and judging by the tempo of the music and how fast his hands moved up and down the keys, it was a complicated piece.

Music was a powerful thing, she mused as she shifted in her seat. And listening to music live, when it was played right in front of you was very different than listening to it on the radio or the gramophone. When it was played live, you almost felt as if the music was a tangible thing that wrapped itself around you, surrounding you. When music was played live, sometimes Rowan thought you could almost see the music swirl around you.

She once told this to James and he had thought she was off her rocker. Then she told this to Sirius who after a beat, agreed with her saying that he understood what she meant.

Jesus. The two brothers were more alike then they'd like to admit, she thought realizing it with sudden shock. And now her problem was growing a little bit bigger because she was caught smack dab in the middle of them.

Rowan focused her attention on the current Black brother she was with. This was amazing really, six months ago if someone told her that Regulus Black was a bona fide piano player, she would have slapped the back of their heads for lying. Hell, if someone had told her three months ago that he could play, she still wouldn't believe them, and this was the time they started talking.

The song had changed, she became aware that that song had changed, it sounded a little darker, it was slower, there was something very haunting about it. Rowan felt goose bumps appear on her skin.

It was just so beautiful. All of it. The ballroom, the music, the glossy piano, the slight boy playing it. It was all just so perfect and Rowan had never been exposed to this kind of level of finery.

She wondered if Regulus' home was like this, all marble and mirrored walls and sparkly chandeliers. She wondered if he had grown up happy in it.

It was funny, the hand of cards that life dealt out to each of them. Rowan had grown up in near poverty for her most of her life. Money had always been, and most likely would be, very tight for her and her family. Money was tight for all Roma gypsies. If it hadn't been for the fund that Hogwarts had for poor children, she nor her elder brother might have gotten an education. Her two eldest brothers stopped going to school once they came to England and her sister had gotten married in Romania before coming to England with them.

She knew was it was like to go hungry. When they had first come to England, there were a lot of nights where there wasn't enough food for everyone. Rowan would bet her life that Regulus had never, ever gone hungry before in his privileged life.

Rowan did not hold this against him though. It was not his fault that he had gotten that particular hand of cards, look at the hand that Sirius was dealt, and they came from the same family! Rowan did not hold anything against anyone who had grown up better than she had, who had more access to opportunities and resources than she had. She'd just have a big talk with the man upstairs, or rather maybe the man who ran the downstairs when it came to where she went after dying.

Maybe she could make a ship to shore or rather hell to heaven call if she was in hell to give the big man her talk if she didn't make it to heaven.

Rowan snapped out of her thoughts and focused on Regulus again. He was truly brilliant at playing the piano, gifted even.

She wasn't sure how long he had been playing for, it could have been five minutes or half an hour.

His fingers began to slow and then they stilled as the last notes of the song faded into the air.

Rowan sat up, and then began to clap. It echoed in the huge ballroom but she didn't care. He deserve to have an entire theatre or auditorium clapping for him. So instead, she clapped harder.

Regulus twisted around and gave her an amused smile. "What's with all the clapping?"

"You're incredible!" she exclaimed.

He flushed. "No, not really, I'm ok. Not good enough to become a professional piano player,"

"Is that what you want to be?" she interrupted.

"No. I kind of see myself as something other than someone dressed in a tuxedo or suit every night," He replied.

"So what do you want to be?" she pressed.

Regulus shrugged. "I'm still not sure. Back when we had career consultations with the Heads of our Houses, I told Slughorn that I really did not know what to do, so he said it'd be wise to try and get an E on the core subjects and continue with them at NEWT level so that I'd still have some options,"

"Did you fail any of your OWLs?" Rowan asked with a twinkle in her eye.

"Nope. I got an A in History of Magic but it's History of Magic and who the hell cares about that?"

"No one. Except Binns. And even then, he's dead so he doesn't really count,"

"Too right he doesn't. No, I really don't know what I want to do but I would like to take a year off after graduation,"

"Why?"

"To travel," he shrugged. "I've never been out of England before, I've never seen any places or things, I've just read about them in books. I've never been anywhere before and I'd like to go. Not to learn more magic, but to learn more about the world in general you know?"

"Yeah, I know," she immediately understood him.

"So yeah. I'm not sure how it's going to pan out, I don't know if my parents would be too keen on the whole idea of taking a year off,"

"So do it anyway. You'll be seventeen, you don't need your parents permission," she interrupted.

Regulus gave her an enigmatic look. "Unlike my brother…I don't like raising my parent's blood pressure. I don't particular enjoy disobeying them or upsetting them,"

Rowan's face darkened slightly at the mention of Sirius. "The prodigal son," she said a little caustically.

Regulus turned fully to her and gave her a sharp look. "Of course you'd say that, you've only heard one side of the story," he said in a brittle voice.

* * *

_A/N: I know some of you have been itching to see Sirius back in the spotlight, but this chapter and the next one is important in regards to Regulus' character! You'll see, and don't worry, Sirius will be front and centre in a couple of chapters or so. I'll try to get him on stage as fast I can, Sirius (and I) would love if you could **please review! xoxoxo**_


	37. Shades of Grey

_A/N: Thanks for your support! Euro 2012 is now over (my afternoons are very depressing now) but at least I'll be going back to (or attempting to) my regular scribbling sessions._

* * *

Rowan gaped at him. "Pardon?"

"There are always two sides to the story, Rowan. You've just never heard it, or contemplated that one existed,"

She went quiet and twisted her hands in her lap. "It's not about being the good brother, it's about family Rowan," Regulus said impatiently. "Look, I know that parents aren't perfect, and god knows that mine are certainly not, but at the end of the day, they were the ones to raise you, who saw you go from a little baby to a grown woman or man. At the end of the day, unless you emancipate yourself from them, they're your still parents."

"Regulus I'm sorry, it's just hard for me to wrap around the idea that you actually like your parents," Rowan replied.

"Of course you would. You've only been told one side of the story. This is the thing Rowan, life isn't all black and white, there are a lot of grey areas in between. You've only heard the things that Sirius has told you about our family," Regulus gave her a hard look.

She squirmed in her seat. Sometimes she forgot Regulus was younger than her, in some ways, he was a lot older than most of them. Like now.

"Ok, so tell me your side," she retorted.

Regulus turned towards the piano again. He pressed a key and then stared out at the ballroom. "My parents raised us in the best way they thought was possible, Sirius may not agree that it was the right way, but they thought it was. Sirius…he always wanted to highlight the fact that he thought he was better than all of us, because he didn't buy into the whole pureblood rubbish, but it didn't make him any better. It just made him as arrogant as my parents are."

"Sirius isn't arrogant—" Rowan started but Regulus silenced her.

"I don't mean arrogant as in proud or vain of one's accomplishments or looks, I mean arrogant in the fact that he flouted the fact that he did not care for any of the traditions, he was so proud to be different from the rest of us, he shoved it in our faces, and that's not nice. You want to be different? Fine, but when you're still living at home, you need to respect your parents, and remember to keep yourself in check. You don't need to apply permanent sticking charms to posters of muggle girls in bikinis, which by the way, is a little crude," Regulus said flatly.

Rowan agreed with him on that. "Ok yes, half naked pictures of girls on the wall is a bit crude,"

"At least let them be artsy or something, or done by some famous artist like Picassso or whatever," Regulus grumbled.

"Sirius was unhappy at home," Rowan reminded him.

Regulus just looked at her. "We're all unhappy at home," he said quietly.

"Pardon?"

"My father never pays attention to her, he's always busy with business or his other affairs…and my mother…she's the neglected trophy wife. We're, or rather, I'm, all she has. Sirius was unhappy at home, yeah, and he made it known, which made my mother even more unhappy. And I hated seeing her like that. So I tried my best, even went out my way to highlight that I follow all the rules, I comply with all the traditions, that I was proud to be a Black, in effort to make her less sad."

"So what about you? If everyone else in your family is apparently unhappy, are you too?" Rowan asked bluntly.

A weary look came on his face. "I'm just as unhappy as them Rowan. And I have been, since I was twelve,"

"What happened when you were twelve?" Rowan was confused.

He shrugged. "I don't know. I woke up one day…and it's like something shut off inside me. I haven't been truly happy in a long time Rowan. It doesn't help that my family is torn apart either. My mum was devastated when Sirius ran away. She couldn't get out of bed for a week, she didn't eat or anything, she just cried. It scared me," he said quietly.

Rowan stilled and looked at him. She would have never thought that Sirius running away from home, would have affected those around him so profoundly. But it had, and it was evidenced by the slight boy sitting in front of her.

"Our house isn't the same any more, you know," Regulus moodily continued. "Christmas…we all acted like everything was fine, but I know that my mum was crying on Christmas day again when she passed by his room. Sirius may hate her, but no parents truly hate their children. They may be upset with them and disown them, but deep down, I'd like to think that she still cares about the fact that he was her son. It's hard for a mother to suddenly lose her children, in any way really,"

"Yeah, it is," Rowan thought of her childhood friend Katerina who had died. Her parents had never been the same after that either.

"You said that you haven't been happy in a long time, what do you mean?" Rowan asked swiftly.

Regulus gave her a wry smile. "It means exactly that. I'm not a happy person Rowan, part of it stems from the environment I was brought up in, but most of it has to do with my head. There's just…something not right there, I think. At quidditch matches, when I'm watching and my team is winning, I'm not jumping up and down screaming, I'm just sitting there, watching everything around me. I…I feel like I'm watching myself in a film or something, this life is just one big movie or book and I'm a character in it. I feel..detached from myself, does that make sense?"

It did. It suddenly struck Rowan that what he was describing sounded a lot like depression. He sounded a lot like her when she was in her low cycles.

"Regulus…do you ever go through periods of maniacal happiness?" she asked.

"Pardon?"

"Do you ever feel like you're invincible sometimes? Do you ever have periods of time where you go about doing a lot of things that you wouldn't normally be doing?"

"No," he gave her a strange look.

Oh. Ok so he wasn't like her and a maniac depressive. Well that was good. Kind of. She knew firs thand that when she was in her maniac periods she did a lot of stupid, and dangerous things.

"Regulus," she said after a beat.

"What?"

"It sounds like you have depression," she said gently.

He blinked. "Depression? As in feeling blue all the time kind of depression? I don't feel sad Rowan, I'm just not happy,"

"That's also a form of depression," she explained.

"I'm confused. How would you know what depression is?"

"Because," she gave him a lopsided smile. "I have maniac depression. I go through wild mood swings, I go from being insanely happy to scarily sad and violent in a matter of days, hours sometimes. But sometimes I'll have months of a depressive cycle, and I won't do anything. Then sometimes I'll be maniacal happy for three months and end up doing things that I know I shouldn't do. It's a miracle that I haven't died yet,"

"What kind of things do you do when you're insane?" Regulus asked apprehensively.

"Attempt to fly underwater with a broom," she replied.

"What?"

"Yeah. Believe me, it was not pretty. I think I was in my fourth year when I did that. Maybe fifth," she thought back.

"Do you have a death wish upon yourself or something? It's bad enough that you send yourself to the Hospital Wing every other week or so with your tinkering on magic, but now you're telling me that you go off on these maniacal moods and you go crazy?" Regulus threw up his hands.

"I don't go crazy…I just don't think straight," Rowan defended.

"Since when have you _ever_ thought straight?" Regulus demanded.

"Hey!"

"If I'm depressed, if that's the clinical term for it, then fine. But to me it's not the same. Depressed means not eating, crying, sleeping a lot, or not sleeping, shutting yourself off from the world, that kind of stuff."

"There's many forms of depression Regulus," she said quietly.

"Being depressed and not being happy aren't necessarily the same thing," Regulus protested.

"They might not be, but…let me honest with you Regulus, you shut yourself up in your books, you think an awful lot…that's kind of a defence mechanism," she looked at him tentatively.

"Against what?"

"Against not living,"

"Living?"

"You're not…living life. You're just sitting on the sidelines, not playing the game, watching every one else run past you,"

"I am living! I'm not dead am I!" he said indignantly.

"Regulus, I'm not attacking you," she gently interrupted. Regulus scooted over as she came over and sat next to him. Turning fully to face him, she said, "I'm just telling you what I think, but this is the thing Regulus, life is both long and short."

"What?"

"You're only going to have one life on this earth Regulus, and you can't spend your days watching everyone else live. You need to live too."

"It's not exactly the easiest thing to do when you never feel happy," he muttered.

"It isn't being about being happy or unhappy Regulus, for some of us, that's not really a apart of the equation, life is more than that for us,"

"Then tell me, what's it about?"

"It's about making each day count," she told him.

Regulus pressed another key and digested this. "Making each day count. Like how?"

"Like…doing something different, expanding yourself, going out of your comfort zone, trying to work through your inner voices that plague you, trying to make yourself a better person than you were yesterday,"

A quiet, grave expression graced his features. "Well then today definitely counts then,"

"Oh yeah why?" she asked curiously.

"Because I would have never thought about playing the piano, for anyone, and here I am,"

"Here you are," she smiled.

His lips twitched. "Sometimes I kind of loathe you,"

"Why is that?" she teased.

"Because you tend to bring out the best in me, which ruins my Slytherin credibility, and you also tend to bring out things that I tend not to think about. It forces me to really…I don't know. Take a good look at myself, see what I'm doing right, doing wrong,"

"Well that's what friends do,"

"Right, because you're my friend," he said looking at her with unfathomable eyes.

"Exactly, because I'm your friend," she affirmed slowly looking right back at him.

There was only a sliver of space between them. To Rowan, the distance seemed both deceptively small, but terrifyingly huge at the same time.

Regulus felt something shift between them and he did _not_ like it.

He knew, that if he didn't do something soon, something very, very bad would happen. And he couldn't let that happen.

He shifted another inch or two, away from her, putting some more distance between them. A flicker of disappointment went through her eyes for a moment.

However, deep down in his heart, he knew that he couldn't cross that line. He just couldn't. And it wasn't because she was a Gryffindor and he was a Slytherin, no it was something more nobler than that, nobler and stupider than that.

It was because of his bloody brother.

He had seen the way his brother had looked at her, even when they weren't talking to each other, and he had never seen that look on his brother's face when he was with his previous girlfriends. Few people would believe it, but Regulus, unfortunately, knew his brother better than anyone, and he could read his brother's expression like a book. He knew this, because he was exactly the same as him.

His brother cared for her very much, it was obvious to him, and Regulus would respect that. He did not want to make his brother's life any more miserable than it already was.

Yes, they didn't get along, and they had different outlooks on life, and Sirius had ran away from home and torn apart his family, but at the end of the day, he was still his brother. They were flesh, bone and blood. Regulus still cared about him, even if he couldn't show it. He would never want any harm to come to him.

And he would never want to screw his brother over. Ever. So that's why he turned away from her and instead said, "Would you like to me play another song?"

"Please," she nodded.

Regulus began playing again and Rowan watched him. Regulus only had eyes for the ballroom that he could see from the piano, but unbeknownst to him Rowan only had eyes for him at the point in time.

* * *

_A/N: I promise, Sirius returns in the next chapter in all of his glory. Sorry for this short chapter, next one will be longer I assure you. **I'd really appreciate if you could review! **(Sirius is very impatient to get your attention)_


	38. Reconciliation

_A/N: It's really fun hearing from all you guys which Black Brother you like most, as an individual and as a potential love interest for Rowan, there's been some solid arguments given so we'll see what happens! Would love if you could let me know what you think after you've finished reading!_

* * *

Sirius didn't just adore music, he flat out loved it to the point where he declares music was his religion. It was the initial bonding point between he and Rowan and he spent hours reading about music and listening to it.

What he loved most about music, was that there was a song for every possible emotion that existed. When he was brooding, which he was more often than not, Pink Floyd would be playing for hours on end. When he was in a good mood you could count on Aerosmith, The Ramones, and sometimes, Elvis being played. He loved everything from swing to punk to hippie rock to jazz. He simply loved it all.

At the moment, he was laying in his bed listening to Led Zeppelin's _Stairway To Heaven_, making him miss Rowan more than ever. She was right, he realized, that this was probably their best song, even if everyone else says so. It just encompassed his entire emotional range at the moment.

The guitars were full out wailing as Sirius listened to his favourite part of the song and he closed his eyes.

"Padfoot?" Remus asked loudly over the music. Startled, he sat up and lowered the volume of the gramophone.

"'llo Mooney.'"

"_Stairway to Heaven_ huh? Again?"

"Until the end of eternity. Or until I finish school and never see Rowan again and never have to think about her." Sirius lamented feeling pathetic.

"You know what you should do? _Talk_ to her," Remus said firmly setting his things down. He changed into his sweats and yanked a jumper over his head.

"She won't even _look_ at me Mooney. I haven't talked or even been in her radial orbits for over a month and half now," Sirius reminded him.

"Well that's your fault. You were the one who screwed things up so badly, so now it's your move, you have to be a grown up and go to her."

"She hates me."

"She doesn't hate you. I think she hates Rosier and Wilkes, but you? I just thing she's very disappointed in you."

"That's even worse!"

"I think she's also disappointed in herself too," Remus thought aloud. Sirius looked at him.

"Why?"

"'Cos she thrashed Rosier and Wilkes. And I think it bothers her that she didn't feel bad when doing it."

"How would you know?"

"She confided this to Lily and Lily told me." Remus shrugged. "She also told me that Rowan hadn't slept in a few days and once or twice she heard her crying in the shower."

"Oh." Sirius' heart plummeted. He hated that she was crying because of him.

"So go to her you big fat fool!" Remus cried frustrated. He tugged at his chestnut locks. Sirius could be so stupid sometimes!

"What if she doesn't want to talk to me?" Sirius asked nervously.

"Well, you won't find out until you go! So get out of here and go!" Remus shoved him towards the door.

"Hey! Hey! **HEY**!" Sirius shouted trying to stop himself from reaching the door.

"What? What now?" Remus demanded.

Sirius turned around and looked at him flatly. "At least let me go and put on a pair of pants!" he pointed at his boxers.

"Oh. Sorry."

* * *

Rowan was surrounded by her usual portable library of books, parchment and ink. She had deep purple bags under her eyes and her eyes seemed to have a glazed look to them. Still, her hand kept moving as she wrote out her notes steadily.

She was so fucking sick of being tired. She would literally kill someone so she could sleep. Just for a few hours, a few hours of proper, deep sleep.

Rowan felt her eyes well up again and furiously swiped at them. She was _not_ going to cry. Not now. She had already cried enough today in the shower.

Unconsciously, her right hand came to finger the pendent that Sirius had given her for Christmas. Even after their terrible fight, she still hadn't taken it off, her neck would feel naked without, even if she wore her other necklaces, and even if that pendent had been the most recent edition to her neck, it was unconsciously to her, the most important along with the delicate bangle on her left wrist that Regulus had gifted to her.

Out of the corner of her eye, she saw her books being moved and her brow furrowed. Who was the idiot who decided to bother her now?

"Hey," a quiet voice said.

With a fierce look of disgust on her face, her head whipped up. Oh.

Sirius nearly recoiled at seeing the intensity of animosity on her face. Then the expression slid off and an unreadable one came on instead. He wasn't sure which one was worse.

She didn't say anything. In fact, they didn't say anything for a long time, instead looking steadily at each other, waiting for the other one to back down and concede defeat.

After what seemed like an eternity, Sirius broke the staring contest and leaned closer towards her, as if needing to close the distance between them physically before he could close the distance between them mentally.

Without thinking, Sirius put his hand over hers and she stiffened under his touch. But he did not let go. "I'm really sorry Ro, for fucking things up, for everyone, so badly. But mostly I'm really, really sorry that I've made you so miserable."

Rowan felt her eyes stinging again. Oh god, not _again_. She was not going to cry, especially in front of Sirius! She blinked hard and gruffly said. "Now you're sorry? It took you…fifty-seven days to realize that you're sorry for hurting all of us?"

"Fifty-seven days?"

"I've been counting," Rowan said trying to maintain her defence.

"Well it took me about five seconds after you left the room to realise how royally I messed up. And what really gets me the most…is that I hurt you, so, so badly. You were right, I really didn't think my stupid actions would affect so many people…"

"Well they do! Because you're you! You're like this magnetic force of nature." Rowan grumbled. Sirius nearly smiled at this.

"You know by now I am a royal class "A" prat." Sirius said trying to ease the conversation into lighter waters.

"Yeah, you are." She replied still not looking at him. This confused Sirius. He had said he was sorry. Why on earth was she refusing to look at him? Breaking all rules of their usual protocol, he tipped her chin up with his finger. "Why aren't you looking at me?"

Even with her face upturned she still was looking at everything but him. "Because."

"Because why? I said I was sorry!"

"Because I don't want to cry in front of you, you dope!" she replied irritated at her girlishness.

Oh. Sirius let her face drop and squirmed a little bit in his seat. "…It's okay if you want to cry."

"No, it's not. Especially in front of you." Rowan huffed. She rubbed her eyes wearily and then took a swig of water from her forgotten goblet.

"Crying isn't necessarily a bad thing," Sirius tried to comfort her.

"It is for me! It makes me nose swell up two sizes bigger!" Rowan exclaimed. This time Sirius laughed. He laughed for the first time in ages. She frowned at him. "It's not that funny."

"I'm sorry, it kind of is…but it's ok. You have a cute nose." Sirius said with a grin.

"Yeah, yeah, yeah. Jesus Sirius, I swear to Merlin if you ever make me this miserable ever again, I will chop your hair off….in your sleep." Rowan threatened, though the smile on her face kind of ruined it.

Sirius gulped. Yikes. She would do something like that. "I won't… I swear Rowan. I don't ever, ever, ever want to make you this unhappy ever again. Seriously, when you're unhappy, the whole group is out of whack." Sirius said earnestly this time taking both of her hands in his.

"Ok good to know you've realised that your actions **do** affect more people than just you…seriously Sirius if you had gotten thrown out of school I don't know what I would have done. Do me a great big favour?"

"Anything," Sirius said immediately prepared to go and lay down his very life for her at that moment. She was talking to him!

"Study hard, do well on your exams, go for your Auror training and make me and everything else proud of you ok? Especially me." Rowan said sternly looking him in the eye.

"I will. I promise you, I will," Sirius vowed.

"Good. Cos you're bloody clever, when you're not acting like a dope half the time and I have a lot of hopes for you," Rowan sat back in her seat.

Sirius felt that stupid warm fuzzy feeling come over him again. He had always known that Rowan firmly believed that they could all achieve great things, but it made him feel especially special that she believed in him, believed in him so firmly that he could do anything. It was nice to have someone who was that confident in you.

"Rowan?" Sirius asked after a pause.

"What?"

"…Are we okay now?" he asked hesitantly.

"I suppose..." she grumbled and then softened, "We're okay now Sirius,"

He sighed in relief. "Is it cheesy to ask if can I hug you now?"

Rowan rolled her eyes but smiled nonetheless. "Super cheesy but….fiiinnnnne, c'mere you prat,"

Sirius grinned lopsided and threw his arms around her, hugging her tightly. Rowan's arms came around him and she closed her eyes as she felt herself against his shirt. She felt as if this huge weight had been lifted off her shoulders.

He couldn't resist but running a hand down her hair, smoothing it, feeling the familiar bun that she nearly always had her hair tied up in. Rowan gripped him harder and then patted him on the back. She gently withdrew from his embrace and Sirius, a little bit disappointed, let his arms fall from her.

She did however, very gently run a forefinger over his brow and smiled faintly. "Life kind of sucks without you, you know?"

He laughed. "Life is utterly miserable without you," he said sincerely. Then he gently probed the deep shadows under her eyes. "Hey Ro, do me a favour love?"

"Anything,"

"Go to bed!" Rowan smiled thinking of how Regulus told her nearly the exact same thing a few nights ago. Those two were more alike than they thought.

"I will. I will. Help me gather up my library of junk." She gestured toward her cluttered table.

Together they cleared up their things. He slid a sideways glance at her. "So….how long do you think before Marlene makes a move on Remus?"

Her eyes brightened at this. "I predict…two more weeks, tops," she decided.

"I'll bet you five galleons if she takes three weeks or more," Sirius said spiritedly.

"You're on!"

* * *

For the first time, in a long very long time, Rowan slept for a solid six hours, which was an accomplishment for her by all means. Although it didn't make the shadows disappear entirely, they did seem less purple than they had before. She wasn't the only one who slept better. Sirius had gone to sleep pumping his fists into the air now that the world was right again with Rowan and him being ok.

He woke up in an exceptionally good mood and started off the day by blasting Aerosmith's _Walk This Way_, which had come out in 1975, then re-released this year and had developed into a massive hit. Peter and Remus groaned and rolled over their beds, but Sirius continued to sing and dance along to the song whilst he showered and dressed for the day.

"AND I SAID WALK THIS WAAAAYYY," He sang loudly imitating the singer's voice.

"And I say I'll give you five galleons if you shut the hell up," Peter grumbled with his head stuck in his cupboard.

"Sorry no can do," Sirius continued to sing and groove along. James shook his head. Something must have happened.

""Fess up padfoot. Why are you in such a good mood?" James asked as they made their way down the Boys Staircase to meet the girls.

"Because…."

"Because why? Stop acting like a fool you git!" James lightly whapped him and Sirius chuckled. Then he spotted Rowan and bounded towards her. Hugging her cheerfully he turned to James and moved Rowan in front of him, "That's why!"

"Morning love," Rowan greeting James with a smile, the first one he had seen in ages. His eye lit up. "You guys are talking again!" he cried happily.

"Or something like that," Rowan teased.

"Oh thank god. Now things can go back to normal," Lily said walking over to James. He kissed her and wrapped an arm around her shoulders. Rowan made a face. Lily laughed. "What?"

"Do we reeeallyyyy need to see PDA this bloody early in the morning?" Rowan half joked.

"Yeah. It's good for you. Softens your rough, tough independent armour," Lily said lightly flicking her forehead.

Marlene nodded and Rowan sighed and conceded that Lily was right on this one.

"Okay so now that everything is right in the world again, I think we need to celebrate this by pulling a massive prank," James said through a mouthful of toast.

Rowan nodded her head. "I'm in. It's been ages since we've inflicted mayhem on this place,"

"Good. You girls want to get on this one too?" James directed at Marlene and Lily. Lily rolled her eyes. "I'm Head Girl, it's bad enough that the Head Boy is going to be the brilliant brains behind said prank."

"I'm in," Marlene decided. Remus smiled at her and then bashfully looked at his breakfast when she returned it with a bright one of her own.

"Ohhhhh! You guys! I meant to tell you earlier but I got the pictures from the Winter Formal back, there are some really good ones," she exclaimed digging in her bag and withdrawing an envelope.

Clearing their plates and cups off to the side, the group peered interestedly at the assemblage of black and white moving photos.

"I like this one a lot," Lily pointed to a picture of her and James dancing.

"This one is good too," Rowan said examining a picture of the four boys all dressed up. She smiled at the tiny smiling faces who were waving at her.

"Oh my god! This one is so lovely! Look you guys!" Lily squealed showing everyone the picture.

It was a picture of Rowan and Sirius at the dance, they were sitting next to each other, Sirius was staring straight out in front of him with the brooding, quiet look that best became him and Rowan had her head tilted upwards looking at the ceiling, the enigmatic smile on her face that made her scars disappear. Sirius had an arm around her shoulder.

"It is a nice picture," Rowan agreed and Sirius nodded. "It's so fitting of you two!" Marlene said. "Rowan's always lost in her own world and Sirius is always more grounded in the real world. Complimentary opposites," she said thoughtfully.

"I like this one!" Sirius said decisively holding one up. Remus looked over his shoulder and grinned.

It was the one that Marlene had begged for so hard, for Rowan to be nice and smile. Rowan was smiling widely and Sirius was grinning looking at her, with his arm around her waist and her hand on his chest.

"That's a really pretty one Padfoot,"

"I want it!"

"Hey let me see!" Rowan insisted. Her eyes brightened at the picture. "I want one too!"

"I want all of them!" Lily exclaimed.

Marlene laughed. "Don't worry, I'll make copies of the set for all of you guys, and you were the ones who where whining about getting their pictures taken!"

"Yeah well we're idiots, what do we know?" James waved a hand.

"Not that much. Except we do know that by now Sirius is probably the biggest idiot to grace this school," Remus tucked his tongue in his cheek.

"At least I'm handsome!" Sirius said brightly the least bit fazed. Marlene chortled at this.

"So what prompted this incredible brokerage of peace between you two?" Peter waved a fork.

Lily raised an eye. "Brokerage? Of peace?"

"You know what I mean. Making up seems very couple-y."

"Truth. Anyhoooo. I dunno. Why did you suddenly decide to come and talk to me?" Rowan questioned giving Sirius a curious look.

"Because I was driving everybody bonkers and Remus finally snapped and made me man up and take responsibility for all mess that I've caused." Sirius replied.

"Thank you Remus, for playing superman and saving the day!" Lily said. Remus grinned. "Any time. You do know that's my professional night job."

* * *

Remus would once again play superman when he found Lily crumpled in a heap on the bottom of a staircase one night. Fear striking his bones, he dashed up towards her crying out her name, and when she didn't answer, he started panicking.

* * *

_A/N: Yes. I'm evil. On the bright side though, I did tell you that Sirius would be back front and centre and voilà! **I'd really appreciate if you could review!** (So would Lily seeing as she's currently in a state of unconsciousness)_


	39. Disputes

_A/N: Thank you so much for your continued support and of course, reviews. :)_

* * *

"Lily! Lily wake up. God, what happened to you?" Poor Remus said examining her. She was clearly knocked out, and several nasty bruises had begun forming on her arm and neck, as if someone had grabbed her too tightly. He had an ill feeling of who that someone might be. The bloody Slytherins.

Running a hand down his face, Remus conjured up a stretcher and gently levitated her on it. He was making far too many trips to the Hospital Wing this year, he thought grimly to himself.

After he had safely entrusted Lily with Madam Pomfrey, he staggered back to the Common Room with a distressed and tired look on his face. Marlene noticed this and jumped to her feet. She hated seeing him like this.

"Remus! What's wrong? Are you ok?" She exclaimed wringing her hands.

"I'm ok…Lily's in the Hospital Wing. She's hurt." Remus said a little dazed. Her hand flew to her mouth. "Oh god. What happened?" she whispered horror struck.

"I don't know! I just found her in a pile at the bottom of the staircase. She was knocked out. Where's James? He needs to know…" Remus said still having trouble thinking clearly.

"I think he's upstairs," Marlene gestured towards the Boys Staircase.

"Oh…okay. I should go up…" Remus fumbled still shocked.

"Remus?" Marelne asked concerned at how dazed he was. Without thinking, she wrapped a hand around his and squeezed it. "What's wrong?"

"She just looked…so small Marlene. I thought she was dead." Remus whispered still remembering how pale and still Lily looked.

Marlene involuntarily shivered. As the days flew by, it hit them harder and harder that there really was a war going on out there and people died or went missing everyday. It was not uncommon to see some students burst out into wails of despair upon news of a loved one having died at the hand of the Death Eaters, gone missing or something equally terrible. Just last week Theresa Aldrin was pulled out of school because her mum had been murdered by the Death Eaters, because she was a muggle. It still scared them that traces of this war could be seen within the school itself, like this disaster with Lily.

"But she isn't. I'm sure she'll be good as new. Madam Pompfrey is a wonderful Healer. Let's go tell James. C'mon," Marlene gently said bringing him to his feet.

She led him up the staircase still holding his hand and traipsed right on through without bothering to knock. Spotting Sirius and James she announced, "Lily's in the hospital wing, she got hurt, Remus found her." She pulled Remus a bit forward.

"What!" James cried panicked.

"She was knocked out Prongs, I found her all by herself by a staircase, I left her with Madam Pomfrey…." Remus babbled.

"Oh my god!" James sprinted out the door.

"Here Mooney, you look like you could use some," Sirius handed him a large piece of chocolate scrutinizing his mate's appearance. He looked rather shaken.

"Who on earth would want to hurt Lily?" Remus asked collapsing on his bed. Marlene eased herself down beside him and shrugged. "People do things for reasons we can't even imagine." She privately thought of how violently Rowan had done Rosier and Wilkes in a few weeks ago.

"But she's Lily! She's like nicest person in the whole school! Augh. Those bloody Slytherins. I'd bet my life that it was them." Remus scowled.

"Most likely. Excuse me would you?" Sirius said feeling like a third wheel. Plus he had to find Rowan, he had a few questions for her.

"Bye," Marlene said. Then it was just the two of them.

Remus exhaled noisily and rubbed his eyes. She made a motion to get up but he grabbed her hand and pulled her back down. "No! I would really like, if, you could stay awhile. Thank you, you know. For not turning into jelly like I did."

"Course Remus. Anytime. Are sure you're ok? You still look pale and peaky," Marlene laid a hand on his forehead.

Her hand was warm and he felt still felt very cold. She was so close. Remus had never been this close to a girl in his entire life. The air cackled with electricity. All of a sudden he felt quite warm.

He wasn't sure what made him do it, but he very quietly pressed a kiss to her cheek and drew back slowly. Maybe it was because he was still processing through the shock of the night's events, or maybe because he couldn't take it any longer, being so close yet so very far from her, but he did it. As he drew back slowly, Marlene looked at him with serious eyes and then very gently pressed a kiss to his lips.

Shocked and slightly terrified, Remus froze. He hadn't planned on this. Then his instincts kicked in he returned her kiss, sliding a hand around her neck.

Breathlessly, Remus reigned himself in and pulled himself back. This way over the line! "Sorry," he apologised anxiously.

"Don't be," Marlene whispered to him smiling faintly. She traced his jawline softly with a finger.

"How long have you liked me Remus?" she asked curiously wanting to hear it from himself.

"The better part of two years," he confessed quietly.

"Why didn't you ever tell me?"

"You were with someone else. And you were happy. I liked seeing you happy." He simply said.

And then, at that moment, Marlene realised that "fancy" wasn't the right word to describe her emotions for him. It was more than that.

It wasn't quite yet love, but in time, it could very well be.

* * *

Meanwhile, Sirius had found Rowan behind a tottering pile of Arithmancy books, reminding him that he too had a mountain of homework to climb. However, that could wait. "Hey Ro, a word yeah?" He said in a low voice bending his head close to hers.

"Pardon?" Her head just barely turned.

"I need to have a word with you, er, _now_,"

She gave him a strange look but nonetheless rose to her feet. Taking her elbow he took them to a corner of the Common Room away from prying eyes and ears. "What's wrong Sirius?" She scrutinised his serious face.

"I need to ask you a big favour,"

"What kind of favour?" Rowan asked suspiciously. "If this is the kind of favour as in trying to deter one of your fan girls away or make someone jealous or—"

"It's nothing like that," he cut her off. "It's important. Lily's in the hospital wing—"

"_What?_"

"She was hurt, rather badly I think from what Mooney was babbling on about, he found her on the bottom of the staircase. James is with her now. She was knocked out and pretty roughed up."

A muscle in Rowan's jaw twitched. "I'll bet my life that it was the Slytherins, bunch of bloody sods.." she abruptly stopped talking as she remembered not all Slytherins were sods. Well except for one.

"Exactly, but the question is who...and I know..." he trailed off and then huffed. "You're friends with my brother...could you go ask him if he knew anything about it? or who did it?" There was a definite tone of bitterness at the word "friends" when he uttered it.

"You want me to talk to Regulus and find out who attacked Lily? For what? Retribution?" Rowan shifted from him, her eyes cool.

"Not exactly. But James would like to know. So would I. And I think in the long run, Dumbledore ought to know. Students ought to feel safe in school,"

"This school is anything **but** safe," Rowan muttered under her breath. "How can anyone be safe when you lock one hundred or so under age teenagers trying to learn magic all at once? _Chaos_. And injuries." She chuntered. Sirius just looked at her. "So can you ask him?"

A shadow crossed her face. "Sirius...your brother and I...we don't talk about that kind of stuff."

"What stuff? The fact that he's a death eater and most of his mates are too and the lot of them think that the majority of us need to be eradicated?" There was a slight mocking ring to Sirius' voice.

"Sirius," She protested.

"Face it Rowan, sooner or later those kind of differences will come between you two. They're too big to ignore," Sirius said in a hard voice.

"Yes but they don't need to come between us now," Rowan defended. "He's not so bad you know—"

"That's because you don't truly know him!"

Their voices had begun to become louder and Sirius was looking annoyed now. Rowan did not want to get into another row with him right now. "Pushing this argument aside...I'll think about it. I don't exactly see him on a regular basis," she tossed back at him.

Sirius' eyes glinted. "But if you could, you would?"

"I'd like to see my mates on a daily basis yes," she shortly answered.

Sirius studied her and then stepped back from her. "Think about it. Lily is your best mate, I wouldn't be asking you to do this if it were someone else." he abruptly said.

"I will," Rowan nodded at him. Sirius took this as a sign of her dismissal and turned on his heel. He could feel her eyes on the back of him and resisted the urge to turn his head to look at her, but he was irritated. He always ended up being irritated whenever the subject of his bloody little brother came up. Damn him to hell.

* * *

Rowan grimly yanked her scarf around her neck tighter, shivering in the coldness of what was still early March. She was once again up at the Astronomy Tower, having written a brief note, at Sirius' request, to meet Regulus asap in their usual place. She couldn't believe she actually gave in to the dunderhead's stupid request. She'd kill him.

The world was just such a wonderful place, she thought sourly. You fix one problem only to have a huge one pop up and you're in trouble all over again. She and Sirius had just finally fixed things and she thought everything would turn back to normal again only to find out that things got all mucked up again. Whoever put Lily in the Hospital Wing…if she ever found him or her, she'd pound the shit out of them she thought grimly.

"Evening Rowan," Regulus said. He smiled at her, then it faded when he saw her forbidding expression.

"Evening Regulus."

"What's wrong?" he immediately asked knowing that something was off.

"I don't know yet." She sighed and then clenched her hands. "I really hate to do this to you. But…Lily Evans was put in the Hospital Wing a couple of nights ago."

He furrowed his brow. "Pardon me?"

"She was knocked out, and had these ridiculous huge arse bruises on her arms and neck. She was found by herself at the bottom of a staircase." She said through gritted teeth.

His eyes darkened. "And?"

"And, god." Rowan for once fumbled for what she wanted to say. He suddenly understood and crossed his arms. "You want to know who it was?" he asked coolly.

"She's my best mate. She's the Head Girl. She was really roughed up." Rowan said.

He didn't say anything. "Was it Rosier or Wilkes? Mulciber? Cos that bloke is sheer evil, not to mention butt ugly, but seriously Regulus tell me! Dumbledore will find out eventually."

"Oh and I tell you and what are you going to do? Slam them into walls and wipe their memories of it?" Regulus sneered.

Rowan paled at this. "I lost control one time Regulus. Please, just tell me, it wasn't you."

He glared at her. "It wasn't me. I wasn't there. I don't partake in stupid things when I'm in school. The Dark Lord doesn't take kindly to that."

Rowan exhaled a sigh of relief that she was unaware she had been holding in. "Oh thank god. Was it Rosier and Wilkes?"

"I don't know."

"Regulus!"

"I DON'T KNOW!" Regulus raised his voice. Rowan blinked, this was the first time he had ever shouted at her. This was the first time she had ever seen him angry. His handsome features suddenly looked darker.

"But it wasn't you. Ok. Well erm. Thanks. Good night." Rowan said rushing past him, feeling the first tugs of wariness of his presence. It suddenly struck her that he really was a death eater and sooner or later she couldn't ignore it. This was a completely different boy then the one who had played the piano for her. Then Sirius' words echoed in her head, "_Sooner or later the differences will come between you two, they're too big to ignore_," and she suddenly felt ill with a sense of foreboding that that those differences would come between her and Regulus sooner.

Regulus swore and stomped his foot. He wanted to go after her but he was a bit offended now. And he was pissed. He had a couple of his questions of his own now…

* * *

"Snape!" Regulus barked stomping flat-footed into the Slytherin Common room. Snape turned around and looked at him. Rosier and Wilkes also raised their heads. Apparently all the death eaters not only ate, slept and went to school together, they also hung out in their own little exclusive club in the Slytherin house, excluding the Slytherins who weren't Death Eaters.

"What—" Snape asked before Regulus yanked him up by his collar. Snape was mildly impressed by how strong Regulus was as he dragged him up the staircase. Slamming the door behind him, Regulus glowered at him. Snape threw himself into a chair and looked at him.

"Lily Evans was put in the hospital wing." Regulus told him crossing his arms.

A muscle in Snape's jaw twitched. "So?"

"She was unconscious."

"Perhaps she fell? She should be careful going down the stairs." Snape said coolly.

"So you were there," Regulus said narrowing his eyes. Otherwise how else would Snape have known where she was or mentioned a staircase?"

"So what if I was?"

"Snape! You have to be careful about this besides, how could you do something like that to someone you love?" Regulus admonished.

"I didn't do it! Rosier and Wilkes did!" Snape burst out hating the fact that Regulus knew how he still felt about Lily.

"So you just sat back and watched it happen?" Regulus cried shocked.

"Well what else I could do?"

"You could have told them not to do something _that_ stupid when they're still in school!" Regulus said frustrated.

"Like they would listen to me…" Snape sneered trying to mask his inadequacy.

"So you MAN UP and say something. Do something! You can't forever live in the shadows of everybody goddamn else!" Regulus swore quite beside himself.

"What kind of sad excuse for a death eater are you?" Snape taunted trying to mask his embarrassment at Regulus' comments.

"Why are you getting on my case about this anyway, it's almost as if you've become fond of mudbloods," Snape continued.

"My friend asked, that's why! I don't like being stupid when I can get caught and thrown out of school. How would the Dark Lord like his Death Eaters being stupid sods?"

"Your _friend_…" Snape mocked. Regulus grabbed the front of Snape's robes bunching the fabric in his fists.

"Yes, my friend."

"Careful now Regulus, by the way you talk about her, I'm beginning to think you fancy her," Snape said derisively pissing Regulus off to new heights.

"I. do. Not. Fancy. Her." Regulus growled.

"_Snape! Did you know that she can do wandless magic! Did you know that she invents her own magic and creates spells! Oh Snape, she knocked out Rosier and Wilkes, but don't tell them_!" Snape mocked Regulus of the things he had confided to him.

"Shut up!" Regulus roared shaking Snape.

"Face it Regulus. You make a sad excuse for a Death Eater, feeling concerned about mudbloods, hanging around with gypsies, who aren't even people…"

_Smack._

Regulus had slapped Snape across the face. "She's a Romanian Roma. They're people."

"Fuck you Black!" Snape lunged at him.

They wrestled each other for a bit, each trying to beat the crap out of each other feeling very riled up. "If I'm a sad excuse for a death eater, then you're a pathetic excuse as a fucking human being!" Regulus snarled landing some well placed blows.

Snape swore and socked him in the gut. They continued to thrash each other, both of them wanting to kick the shit out of one another because of the things that had been said.

The things that Regulus had told Snape about Rowan, and the comments that were exchanged, would lead to disastrous consequences in the long run, consequences that would ruin more lives than just one unfortunately.

* * *

_A/N: **You know I would love if you could please review!** Tell me what I'm doing right, what I'm doing wrong, what I could be doing better, etc, Don't be shy. :) xoxoxo_


	40. A Declaration

_A/N:Oh my goodness, this is the 40th chapter already and it almost has 200 reviews, that's just incredible. I didn't think I'd ever scribble something out this long and we're not even halfway there yet! I think this chapter will surprise you in more ways than one. Cheers and don't forget to review!_

* * *

Ever since that fateful night when Remus found Lily unconscious, he and Marlene had suddenly become a couple and they were very together, leaving many boys muttering oaths and a gleeful Rowan poking Sirius in the ribs soon after wanting her five galleons.

"Oh man, five more galleons towards the States!" She declared satisfied. Sirius laughed.

They were on their way to breakfast. Lily had fully recovered and had wasted no time telling Dumbledore what had happened to her. She couldn't remember who ambushed her, but that was ok. She felt better than Dumbledore that knew about it.

"Oh my god!" Lily exclaimed her eyes nearly falling out of her head when she came into the Great Hall.

"Cheers," Rowan grinned.

The Great Hall looked like a toilet had exploded. It was toilet papered to the max.

"You lot toilet papered the Great Hall!" Lily said clapping her hands over her mouth. Peter smiled craftily.

"And duck taped." Rowan added. Lily noticed the streaks of grey industrial tape that muggles were so fond of.

"Oh man duck tape is so cool!" Sirius said fervently. He had fallen in love with the tape. "It had a multitude of purposes,"

"Aaannnnd we also made giant cotton balls, or rather, Rowan created them." Peter added pointing to the gigantic balls of fluff that hovered in the air. They looked like giant clouds and were sparkling.

"There's glitter," Lily said still taking everything in.

"That was mine," Marlene said proudly.

"It certainly does add a more feminine touch to this…madness," Lily said sitting down. The students were laughing and looking up at the ridiculousness .

"Ohhh It gets better," Peter grinned. He nodded at Rowan who sat up straighter. She made a casual gesture with her hand and the giant cotton balls of fluff or whatever burst into a pouf! And a waterfall of glitter fell upon the Slytherins.

However Lily was mistaken. It just wasn't glitter. It was glitter _glue._

It also just happened to be muggle super glue mixed with glitter that Rowan had magically tinkered with so that it dried instantly. The Slytherins, or rather the Death Eaters became glittery statues, firmly glued to their seats. The Great Hall began roaring with laughter, with some students flicking breadrolls and pastries at the glittery statures, thus covering with them as food as well.

"From Romania, with love," Rowan said cockily.

"Hey! You weren't the only brains behind this one," James protested indignantly.

"Yes…but face it mate. She was the best brain behind all of this," Peter waved his fork.

"She's always the best brain, it's not fair," James grumbled.

"Yeah well most of life isn't fair, deal with it," Sirius flicked James' forehead.

"ROWAN FORLANI!" McGonagall's voice screeched. Rowan inwardly cringed and Sirius chuckled as she whirled around and gave their Head a bright smile.

"Morning Professor,"

"Do I even have to ask you if were involved in this?" McGonagall gave her an exasperated look.

"For old time's sake you could," Rowan gave her a cheeky smile.

"How about not this time? This has your magic all over it. Only you could have…" McGonagall trailed off tired of reprimanding one of her most brilliant, yet most troublesome student.

"Yes, yes, yes, it was me. Fine. Let me guess…two weeks of detention? Gonna send me to the Hospital Wing and clean out the bedpans? Or how about polish all the school trophies without magic? Or—"

"Two weeks?" McGonagall exploded. "Try a month!"

"A month!" Rowan tipped her head back.

"And you three!" McGonagall rounded on Sirius, James and Peter. "Detention for a month as well!"

"What did we do?" Peter tried to look indignant but failed miserably.

"Please, everyone knows that it's usually you three who come up with the idea and then get Miss Forlani on how to execute it…honestly…"

"Well at least we're not breaking tradition," Sirius grinned.

"You begin your detentions tonight, all of you!" McGonagall gave them a stern look before striding off. Rowan saluted her with two fingers. "Cheers Minny,"

"Do all of us a gigantic favour love, and try not to cause any explosions to happen in detention this time yeah? We do not need a repeat of what happened last time," James pushed his glasses up his nose.

"I give no guarantees, nor promises," she sniffed haughtily. "It's not _my_ fault that—"

"Of course it's your fault for sending you and ourselves to the Hospital Wing, or singing off eyebrows, or making Peter quack like a duck for an entire day! It's your fault that you're bloody brilliant," Sirius waved his knife at her. She stuck out her tongue at him. "Shaddup,"

* * *

Sirius had a great big problem.

He was very much in love with Rowan and the problem was he had no no fucking clue about what to do about it.

The other problem was that he was pretty sure Rowan would never, ever, concede to be his girlfriend in a hundred years.

It was getting harder and harder to be around her without wanting to hold her hand in his, or sling an arm around her. Everything about her drove him bonkers.

He nearly jumped out of his skin when Lily tapped him on the shoulder when he came to join him in the library one day. "'llo love," he said, nodding in Marlene's direction. The two girls joined him and he returned to his studying.

A few moments later, he felt two pairs of eyes him. Warily, he looked up again. "What?" he asked with trepidation.

"You and Rowan are all patched up now yeah?" Marlene asked leaning forward.

"Yeah…"

"Ok so when are you going to finally man up and tell her how you feel?" Lily asked getting straight down to business.

Sirius blushed and then mumbled something; Marlene prodded him with her quill. "C'mon!"

"Um…I was thinking about never?" Sirius said trying to focus on his work again and not on the mental picture of Rowan that had popped into his head.

"What?" Lily said in a loud voice. Someone shushed her. "Why not?" She demanded in a whisper.

"Because." Sirius said shortly not wanting to get into this. Jesus, having this conversation was worse with girls than it was with the Marauders.

"Because why? You can play Quidditch in front of the whole school but you can't have a simple conversation with your best mate?"

"It's not that simple of a conversation to have," Sirius replied briskly. Lily rolled her eyes.

"Sirius, I'm pretty sure she likes you too," She said.

"_Pretty sure_ isn't very reassuring, and ok fine. She likes me. I'm in love with her. There's a big difference." Sirius said wishing that he were any place but here right now.

"But she should at least know how you feel about her!" Marlene insisted.

"Rowan has made it plenty clear that she thinks dating mates is a bad idea. Plus Marlene, you brought it up ages ago, she'd never…. she doesn't need or want anyone to take care of her."

"But you guys would make such a gorgeous couple, you guys are perfect for each other," Marlene sighed thinking of the pretty picture they would make. Sirius didn't say anything.

"Would you two just lay off of this," he snapped clearly frustrated. The sharpness of his tone made both girls stare at him. But he didn't care. He was sick and tired of everybody getting on his case about this, or pestering him about it. It was his problem, his life and that was that. He had to make his own decisions about the best of way of ruining his life.

They didn't say anything after that, instead focusing their attention on their own books, but they continued to shoot him furtive, somewhat sad looks that ticked him off even more.

* * *

Sirius remained in a foul mood not just the rest of the day, but the entire long week. The Marauders didn't really care because everyone one was in a bad mood because of the stress of studying and it didn't help that Rowan wasn't around half the time with her bizarre sleeping habits, her absence made Sirius fall into his custom designed pit of brooding and despondency even more. If he knew that she was still hanging out with Regulus he would have felt tremendously hurt even more so.

She and Regulus had patched things up a few days after that uncomfortable confrontation they had. They had had a very serious talk in which Regulus had said, "I'm not like them, I'd never hurt you, or anyone you love," in such grave voice that it had frightened Rowan a little bit.

What made her a little on edge still, was the fact that she could sense that the dynamics were shifting between them and she wasn't quite sure if she was ready to handle that yet.

Rowan yawned still rubbing the sleep from her eyes as she marched down the staircase fully prepared to charge through a good six hours of studying when she spotted Sirius' head down on a table. She smiled at the site and then glanced at the clock over the fireplace. It was only half past eleven.

She studied the dark head with conflicting emotions going through her head. Almost tenderly, she ran a gentle hand through the silky locks and did some of her brooding.

He was so handsome, Rowan thought; actually he was really quite beautiful. Rowan felt faintly embarrassed calling a bloke a beautiful but it was true, she sure in hell would never tell Sirius that!

He was also smart, funny, passionate, and reckless. He had a temper, was a champion brooder and at times a cocky devil. There was a difference between being a cocky devil and an egotistical jackass, and she happened be partial to cocky devils.

In short, he was pretty much the perfect package of qualities that she preferred in boys. It didn't help that he also had the physical traits she found the most attractive, all tall and dark haired and light-eyed. Stupid dope, she scowled to herself. Yes, she was extremely fond of Sirius. Very, very fond. Had she imagine snogging him once or twice? Sure, what girl couldn't? Did he pop up in some highly interesting dreams from time to time? Of course, they spent so much of time together. But did she fancy him? She did not have an answer to that. At least, not an answer she was willing to own up to.

Merlin's silky granny panties. No wonder girls went gaga over him, Rowan frowned now softly tracing his jaw line with a finger. He perfect because he was almost-controlled-chaos.

She on the other hand was a nightmare of chaos. He was good and lovely and nearly perfect.

But not for_ her_.

The problem wasn't him. It was her. Or rather, she was _one_ of the problems. She could barely stand herself as a person, she was too temperamental, too tunnel visioned in her own interests, too rough, too blunt, too everything. She couldn't really imagine being Sirius' girlfriend, let alone, anyone's girlfriend at this point in time.

She wasn't a particularly good, or pure person. She enjoyed smoking on occasion, partying and partaking in drugs, particularly psychedelics. One time she and her brother Kol, who was two years older than her, came across some rare magic mushrooms and they had the tripped the fuck out. It had opened her entire mind.

Rowan had never told any of her friends she tripped on psychedelics. They knew she indulged in a smoke with her brothers, that she liked to be in the centre of the mosh pit in punk shows, and of course, all of them knew of psychedelics, but she didn't think any of them had did it and didn't think they would approve of her doing them, particularly Lily. Idly, she wondered if Sirius would ever want to try L.S.D. Perhaps.

Her morals were ambiguous, she had no virtue (according to traditional roma culture) and she definitely believed if someone directs a hex at you, you direct a bigger, more powerful and potent hex back at them. Sheesh, she really ought to just go and join her two elder brothers and join the Wizarding Resistance in Romania against communism.

And even as Rowan thought these things, there was a part of her, the very real girl part of her that wished, she could be the girl she envisioned Sirius deserved to be with.

The other problem, of course, was a certain Mr. Regulus whatever his middle name was, Black.

It wasn't as if she fancied him, or liked him. He was just….in her head. All the time. That's all. And it did not help matter that he and Sirius shared more traits than they'd like to acknowledge either.

Regulus fascinated her. He was so multi faceted, there were so many layers to him, and she had barely skimmed the surface of him. And the thing was, she worried about him. She worried about him because she wasn't quite sure if he was cut out to be a big bad death eater. He was simply too nice for his own good. At least, to her. a part of her wishes he would open his eyes and see that there were other options for him as far as how to live his life went.

She was pathetic. Rowan scowled and mentally shook herself. Her hand unconsciously fisted into Sirius' hair a little tighter than she intended too.

He shifted and then sleepily opened his eyes. A little dazed he blinked and then a smile came on his face. Rowan felt her own lips curve and again, mentally shook herself. Get a bloody grip woman, she thought.

"Hey," he said with his head still down on the table.

"Evening. You should go to bed." Rowan told him dropped her hand from his head.

"Too much effort to get up the stairs. Plus I barely get to see you nowadays," he replied frankly.

Rowan squirmed at this. "Things are a bit..crazy right now." She offered lamely.

He didn't say anything, except giving her this serious, probing look that made her feel like she was being x-rayed.

"You still plan on traipsing off to the States after finishing school?" he changed the subject abruptly.

"I do. I have no idea what I want to do with myself, and I want to travel. I want to live. Why not go?"

"James is gonna have a hard time separating himself from Lily for an entire summer," he said thoughtfully.

Rowan nodded and then a thought came to her. "Oh no, what if Lily decides not to go, or if she asks him to come too? Then the dream team will be kaput!"

"Well you have me," Sirius offered.

"Oh yes and what a spectacular dream team we will be. Half the girls in the States will be running after you and I will be sitting with our backpacks and watching the circus." Rowan said sarcastically.

"Or we could just make things easier for everyone and pretend we're a married couple and go and then no one would bother us. And if some bloke tried to get cosy with you, either you could thrash him or I could have the honour of doing it because I'm you're pretend husband and all that," Sirius grinned.

Suddenly, a very vivid image popped into Rowan's head: Sirius and her, holding hands, tanned, unkempt hair from backpacking around, she in one of those ridiculous hippie like dresses and him wearing those colourful odd tie dye shirts she had read about, grinning like a pair of idiots, the sheen that graced young couples glistening on their faces.

It was just so _real_ looking in her head. Her conscious was caught in two minds about this particular vision.

He must have noticed this goofy expression because he prodded her saying, "What?"

"Nothing. When we go, we have to bring a camera okay?" she replied.

"Okaaaaayyyyyy…."

He lifted his head off the table gingerly and then winced. Rowan nodded sympathetically. That position must not have been very comfy.

"Oh hell. I'm too buggered to even move. Studying is more exhausting then exercising!" he grumbled. He flopped sideways and laid his head in Rowan's lap and her hands automatically flew to toy with his hair again.

As stated before, the six of them, now seven with the inclusion of Marlene this year, had always been very affectionate. But somehow, this time, this felt different. It felt more intimate.

For a moment, she pretended that she wasn't her, that she was a different girl, and that things were different and Sirius wasn't Sirius, she wasn't her and they were just two people who…

Who were what, exactly? Ugh. She mentally kicked herself, hard. Even in the imaginary world she was a total doof.

She felt him shift in her lap and he looked up at her with soft eyes. Rowan felt her inner resolve crumble within her and sighed internally.

"Sirius sometimes you're a real pain in the arse you know?" Rowan said ruefully.

He grinned at her. "I know."

Sometimes it was uncanny how he just_ got_ her, he could infer what she alluded too within a blink of an eye.

"Rowan, right now you are the biggest pain in my arse in my entire short lived life, and I mean that in the nicest way possible but right now I don't know whether I want to strangle you or not." He continued. He was about it to end it with "kiss you", but thought better of it.

She too, knew what he was alluding too. It made her vaguely uncomfortable but sooner or later, she'd have to confront it.

"You want to tell me why I'm making your life hell?" she asked preparing herself to ruin her life.

"Because," Sirius turned over so cheek was resting on her thigh and he stared into the fireplace. "I've had the utter misfortune of falling in love with you."

There. He had said it. Let the life ruining begin.

* * *

_AN: ;) I bet some of you are surprised with Rowan and her vices, but I'll say this first, it's the 1970's in England. Experimentation was prevalent. If you want to find out what happens, faster, let me know! Feedback is the biggest motivator so I would really appreciate if you could** please review. xoxoxo**_


	41. Stuck Between A Rock and A Hard Place

_A/N: Thank you for your lovely support and reviews! _

* * *

She cringed internally, then she chuckled a little bit of how he phrased that. She kind of liked it. It was very him, no big show of emotions or fuss and feather or any grand proclamations or anything mushy.

"I'm very sorry," she told him.

"You should be. You and your stupid smile, and stupid brilliancy and dumb fearlessness, miss 'I-can-take-care-of-myself, you-better-run-before-I-kick your-ass-spirit.'" Sirius grumbled. This time she laughed.

"Oh good lord, Sirius. Stop putting me on a pedestal. Trust me, I'd ruin your life." Rowan replied briskly.

"Or I'd ruin yours," Sirius countered.

"Well…Sirius….I…erm…fuck I'm not good at this," Rowan fumbled over her words.

"Well neither I am. The first time I'm in love and I tell the girl I'm in love with her and I say it as if I'm going to go into the Forbidden Forest. Not exactly I how I pictured it." Sirius dryly remarked.

Something flickered in Rowan's eyes. "You've never been in love before?"

"No. If what I'm feeling for you is what 'love' is, then…I suppose so. Except it's nothing like I envisioned it and no offence, but this is bloody frustrating. Lily and James are in love right? What the fuck kind of love is that? Cos their love is nothing like the stuff I experience with you." He ranted.

"There's many different types of love, Sirius," she gently told him. "Lily and James have a different love, because well…they're both in love with each other. Both of them are on the same page."

"So what page are you on?" he demanded peering up at her.

She sighed and then stared into the fireplace. "I'm not sure if I'm on any page, let alone, the same book as you are, Sirius," she said quietly.

Sirius tried to infer what this meant. It was late, he was exhausted and apparently his brain was off. No luck. "Huh?"

She sighed and shifted her position. "Sirius, I love you very, very much as my mate, I couldn't imagine my life without you in it." She candidly began.

"And to be honest, I never, ever, really thought about going out with you, maybe once when we initially met but I think that just a natural reaction to how you look, any hoooooo." Rowan paused and thought about what she was going to say next.

"And even this year, I don't know. I still don't know. The thing that frightened me, still kind of frightens me the most, is how much I love you as a mate, I guess at some point, that love is transferable into a different kind of love,"

"Pretend I'm stupid and explain it a little better?" Sirius asked a little befuddled.

"Sirius, I love you so much as a mate, and that's why I think it's easy for us to _think_ that we love each other as something more,"

"But I do love you as something more!" Sirius protested.

"Yes but I don't know if I do!" Rowan cried finally loosing patience. She clapped her hands to her face.

"Sirius, you have to realise something…I'm just beginning to come to terms with this, I'm way behind you. And the thing that really frightens me the most is that I could hurt you very badly, knowing me and I couldn't bear the fact of hurting you, like that. I've steered myself from thinking of you like that right from the beginning and I just…can't see you like that."

"But I could just as easily hurt you!" Sirius huffed.

"I know! But argh. Ok. Blah. This is how it stands now Sirius. I love you as a mate, incredibly much."

Sirius knew that there was a 'but' coming now. He knew nothing good would come after it. He prepared himself to expand his custom designed pit of despondency and misery.

"But I…don't love you…like that." She finished quietly.

If heartbreak felt like your heart shattering into a million little pieces and you could literally feel it, then this is what he supposed he was feeling right about now.

For a moment they didn't say anything. Sirius closed his eyes and his mouth thinned into a line. Rowan felt very bad right now.

"Sirius," she said softly.

"It's okay Ro. I just…you don't have to explain any thing. It's…just…I don't know now what to do now."

"Neither do I. Because I don't love you—"

"Yeah I heard you loud and clear," Sirius muttered interrupting her.

"But…I still love you as a mate, you know that, don't you? I really hope you don't…I can't imagine my life without you in it, some way," she finished softly.

A muscle in Sirius' jaw twitched. He was so _tired_ of being her friend. Life was a bitch sometimes.

"I don't know where to go from here," he finally he said.

Rowan shrugged. "Neither do I Sirius. I'm sorry that…" she trailed off. "I can understand if you need some time away for me," she said frankly.

He lifted his eyes to look at her. "I don't need time away from you," he answered shortly.

An "it's your-funeral" look came on her face but she merely shrugged again.

"Can I ask you something?" Sirius ploughed not sure if he really wanted an answer to his question.

"Sure,"

"…Is…Is there someone else? I'm sorry, I just need to know so I can figure out what do with myself in regards to you…but yeah. Is there someone else?"

Rowan stilled. Regulus' face flitted through her head. "No, there isn't anyone else," she replied.

This, was neither the truth or a lie. But she really didn't know the answer to this question.

Sirius gave her a searching look. Rowan stared back at him defiantly. "There's no one else," he repeated.

"No, but if there is, you'll be the first to know," she sarcastically said.

He gave her an annoyed look. Rowan rolled her eyes. "I don't really want to be with any one right now," she admitted.

"Why?" he gave her an incredulous look.

Rowan lifted her shoulders, keeping her eyes trained on the firelight. "I'm just not in that place right now Sirius. I like being on my own. There's just too much going on with NEWTs, school ending and all that. I need to figure out who I am as an individual first," she replied.

Sirius bit back an oath. This girl, was _foreve_r trying to figure out who she was an individual.

"Did it ever occur to you that you while as _brilliant_ as you are as an individual, you might be even more better if you're with someone who challenges you, makes you go out of your comfort zone, brings out the best in you?" Sirius waved a hand.

She smiled half heartedly. "That's what friends are for love, and besides I'm telling you, I'm not quite ready to take on that role yet. Why do you think Gideon and I broke up?"

"Because he's a prat?" Sirius joked.

She whapped him lightly. "No. Because he wanted different things than I did. Sirius, a very important word in relationships and marriages, is 'compromise', and right now, that word does not exit in my vocabulary," she said firmly.

Sirius muttered something under his breath. "You're a difficult woman,"

"That I am," Rowan agreed.

Sirius sighed and took her hands in his and folded their hands across his chest. "Christ Rowan why is everything so difficult with you! It shouldn't be this hard to be happy!"

"Look at whom you're talking to," she dryly said referring to her manic depression.

"Life shouldn't be this difficult," Sirius mumbled again.

"Sirius, life is difficult. That's the thing. Believe me, I think there's a perfect girl waiting for you out there, someone who doesn't send herself to the hospital wing every other day because of her stupidity. It's just not…me."

"I don't want a perfect girl, I want you. Besides, you don't get to tell me who I get to love," Sirius said smugly. "I can ruin my life however the hell I'd like," he added.

"Okay but it's your funeral mate." Rowan sighed and tugged at her hands.

"At least I'll die in the name of love, not a bad cause to die for," he lightly joked.

Rowan chuckled. "Yeah…"

"Can I say something?"

"Go ahead…."

"I think we're right for each other," Sirius said frankly. Rowan's expression shifted into something unreadable. "…. But not right now." He added.

An unfathomable expression slid over her face. "Sirius…don't try and hurt yourself any more than I have already," she said quietly._._

Sirius ignored this. "It's my life that I'm in charge of ruining," he said again with a twisted smile

"So what now?"

"Can we stay like this for a while?" Sirius asked referring to their positions that they had been in for the last hour.

"Yeah. We can." She said cradling his face gently feeling slightly regretful.

They didn't talk much, instead doing a great deal of their own thinking and Sirius and Rowan remained on the couch, Sirius' head nestled in her lap and Rowan's hands in his hair or his shoulders. They staid like that for a long time and for now, it was nearly good enough.

* * *

"Hey," Regulus stopped playing the piano. "You all right? You look...like you're not really here,"

"Huh? Oh." Rowan broke out of her trance. He twisted in his seat and studied her.

They were once again hidden away in the Room of Requirement. Except it wasn't a ballroom this time, it was a comfy looking living room with squashy armchairs and cushions along with a piano.

"Are you ok Rowan?" he gave her a probing look.

Rowan bit her lip. She shrugged helplessly. "I'm not. I'm not quite sure,"

"Want to tell me what's going on?"

Rowan paused. Regulus was the _last_ person on earth that she wanted to tell this to.

He noticed her hesitation. "Is it my brother again? Did the prat hurt you? What could he have possibly done this quickly to get you two on the outs again right after you finally patched things up?" he ranted.

"He told me he was in love with me," Rowan quietly said.

Regulus promptly shut up. "He _what_?" Perhaps he didn't hear her properly.

"Your brother told me that he was in love with me," she repeated her head bowed down.

"And what did you say back?" Regulus asked a strange look on his face.

Rowan swallowed. "I didn't…I didn't really have an answer,"

"Liar," Regulus quietly called her out.

She let out a funny sound that was half a sob, half a laugh. Concerned, Regulus got up and sat down beside her. "What's wrong?"

"I just..hate know that I hurt him."

"Did you not tell him you loved him?" Regulus asked surprised. Apparently, he had been wrong.

"Kind of yeah. I told him that I didn't love him like that. That I loved him as a friend."

Regulus winced. "Ouch yeah no bloke likes to be on the receiving end of that,"

"I know,"

"But I thought…I thought you did like him," Regulus was confused.

"What made you think that?" Rowan raised her eyebrows. Regulus waved his hands. "I don't know. You guys are really close and all affectionate. And from an outsider's point of view, a lot of the time, you two look very much like a couple,"

"We do? I never saw us like that,"

"Yeah well you do. But do you have any feelings for him at all?"

She shrugged. "Regulus, right from the beginning of our friendship I told myself to never try and think about Sirius like that. And I haven't. It never occurred to me to see Sirius as something other than a mate,"

Regulus said nothing but stared out in front of him. "So what now?"

"I don't know. I think I really hurt Sirius. It's hard to tell someone that you love them and not hear it back you know?"

No, Regulus did not know, but he could imagine that it must hurt quite a bit.

"He asked me if there was someone else," she continued even more softly.

"What?" Regulus was a little stunned.

"He asked me if there was someone else," she repeated.

Regulus gave her an incredulous smile and shook his head. "That's my brother for you…is there someone else?"

"I don't know." Rowan shrugged.

"How do you know if there is or there isn't any one else?" Regulus asked disbelievingly.

"You'd be surprised how hard it is," she muttered.

"I'm sure it would be. You know, it really shouldn't be hard for you to be happy. Why do you make your life so bloody complicated is beyond me,"

"Do you think I choose to make my life this complicated?" Rowan asked exasperated.

"Yes," he immediately answered.

"Shaddup,"

Regulus chuntered under his breath as he banged away on the piano. Rowan opened her mouth to speak but he just played with more gusto. She waited until he finished playing.

"Can I talk now?" she inquired sarcastically.

He just looked at her. She took this as a sign to continue. However she was wrong. Regulus silenced her with a wave of his hand. "You'd be a pretty daft prat to not want to be with him," he said flatly.

"What?" A flabbergasted look came on her face.

"Rowan, come on.

"Yeah I heard you loud and clear Regulus," she said annoyed flopping back in her armchair.

Regulus rolled his eyes and stood up. "Rowan, you are the maker of your own messes, your life is complicated because you choose to make it because you choose what you want to see, and what you don't want to see. You can't run away from your problems Rowan, you can't box away things you don't want to handle."

For the first time in her life, Rowan felt her cheeks flush red. She was embarrassed. She was embarrassed because he was right. Funny how he always seem to call her out on the very things she knew deep down was true about herself.

"Look, I'm not coming down on you, and I'm not trying to be mean, I'm being your mate Rowan." Regulus added gently seeing her squirmy expression.

"Really, because it sure feels like you're crushing my self esteem," she said dryly composing herself.

"Well, everybody needs that every now and then. It's just that your mates kind of suck and don't do it nearly enough," Regulus said bluntly.

"Regulus!" she protested.

"I'm not trying to be offensive! I'm just saying that you only have about three months left in this school, you ought to make the most of it,"

Rowan snorted, "AND you _need_ to grow up," he added loudly.

Silence. Rowan glared at him. "I loathe you,"

He smiled crookedly. "You know I'm right,"

"Yes, you're right. I need to grow up. I need to stop running away from things that make me uncomfortable or whatever,"

"Besides, life is both long and short, you told me. Right now, life is a bit on the short side, and we all know that life is too short to be spend it running away and being afraid, and being _alone_," he gave her a sharp look.

"I like being on my own," she defended.

"There's a difference between being on your own, and being alone," he said in that maddening unflappable voice of his.

"I LIKE BEING ON MY OWN AND BEING ALONE!" Rowan loudly.

"See this is the exact opposite of growing up," he sighed.

Rowan began swearing and he ignored this. He was right, and she knew it.

"And for another thing, you're in love with my brother," Regulus said in an even louder voice.

Rowan spun around and her mouth dropped open. "What?" she sputtered.

"Rowan," he smiled benignly. "C'mon, you just _choose_ not to see it,"

"I choose not to see it?" she asked disbelievingly.

"Correct. But one day, you'll wake up and face the music. You'll see it when you're ready,"

"How will I know when I'm ready?" Rowan asked, because really, this was the most ridiculous situation she had ever been in.

"That, I can not really tell you, but don't worry, when you're ready, you'll know. You'll see what's been there along," Regulus answered.

Rowan scowled and threw herself in yet another poufy armchair around. "Shaddup and play the piano Regulus,"

* * *

So finally, there was a fragile feeling of peace within the entire group, the first time in ages. Rowan and Sirius didn't tell anyone else about their conversation and to Lily and Marlene's disappointment, Rowan didn't show any signs or inclination towards fancying Sirius or any outwardly signs of that. In fact, they seemed just as good as mates as ever to the rest of the group and that was just hunky dory.

However, Regulus' words rattled around in her head like rocks. Damn him to hell for actually being kind of right.

And, Sirius' stupid words were rolling around in her head too.

Of course, on the outside, everything seemed the same. Things were as stated, back to normal. Well as normal as things could be for the marauders could be. Rowan was not quite ready to actually do something about all the conflicting words that were giving her a headache.

Both of them had reached an unspoken understanding between the two of them, that they would not address the declaration that Sirius had made, instead to concentrate on remaining friends and their upcoming examinations. However Rowan felt as if their innocent kisses on the cheeks they exchanged or the hugs held a deeper note to them now and to her utter astonishment, she found herself favouring it more and more.

The only person who had an inkling that a subtle, yet very big change that had come between the two of them, was James. And that was because he was best mates with both of them and had an unusually keen eye when studying these kinds of things.

James noticed the slight softness that had come to grace Rowan's face during meal times, and the serious, lingering glances she gave Sirius. He also noticed that Sirius didn't seem as miserable/irritated/desperately in a what was thought to be an non-reciprocated love and the affectionate, keen looks he gave her. James made a silent effort into always sitting next to Lily during meal times so that Rowan could sit next to Sirius if she chose to.

Nowadays she was choosing to more and more.

* * *

_ A/N: Don't kill me! I swear this story is going somewhere. **I'd love if you could review, xoxoxo**_


	42. Confrontations of All Sorts

_A/N: I would like to reiterate **how thankful I am for your support and reviews**. I've been stuck lately and haven't gotten any writing that I was pleased with and then some of your reviews really cheered me up, they're all so thoughtful and it gave me the swift kick in the butt that I needed to get back to scribbling away and lo and behold I managed to bang out a good 7 or 8 pages in one go (which usually never happens). Hopefully this productive streak will keep going, keep the feedback coming!_

* * *

The newly established peace that had graced their lives was short lived. It would all come to a terrible end that would forever change their lives. However this time, it wasn't Sirius' fault or any of them who had inadvertently caused it.

Rowan had gone home for the Easter Holiday leaving Sirius missing her more than ever but thought the space would do them both good. He and Peter actually managed to do a lot of studying on their own, since Remus and James both had their hands full studying with Lily and Marlene. And by studying, we all know that it was more often than not interrupted by passionate snogging sessions.

Rowan enjoyed her Easter Holiday at home, glad to be with her parents and some of her siblings again. She slept properly for the first time in weeks, ate well and went for long walks with her brother Kol every day, studied hard, kept practising for the Barnabus Finkly Spell Casting Competition and mused about life and Sirius and Regulus. She may or may have not also indulged in spending some quality time with Kol by going out to the meadows near their house and tripping on LSD on an afternoon or two. Or three.

It had always amazed her how Kol managed to find those kinds of things, but she didn't complain and out all of her siblings, he was her favourite. Perhaps it was because he was only two years older than her.

Her older sister Tatiana would visit often, bringing her children with her in which Rowan delighted in over fussing over the baby. She couldn't deal very well with her four-year-old niece though. Once kids started talking, Rowan became very uncomfortable and simply didn't know what to do with them. But that's okay.

And then, towards the end of the holidays, disaster struck.

* * *

Rowan and her family were sitting down to a late dinner on Friday evening when a knock came on the door. Kol got up to see who it was and then no other than Rosier, Wilkes and two other men who Rowan didn't know were standing in the middle of her dining room.

"GET OUT OF MY HOUSE!" Rowan snarled. Kol gave her a puzzled look, and she added, "They're Death Eaters!"

Comprehension dawned on his face and he took out his wand, as did her parents. "Get out!" she shouted again moving towards them.

A man with a long twisted face leered at her. "She's feisty,"

"She's feisty all right. She gets mean with her magic," Rosier smirked at her.

Rowan felt her blood boil. "What the _fuck_ do you want?" She hissed not caring that her parents were there to hear her language.

"The Dark Lord would like to extend a personal invitation to you in joining the ranks of him and us." The other man said.

Rowan stared at the man. "Get out." She repeated trying very hard not to do anything rash or stupid.

"The Dark Lord finds you very intriguing, apparently you create magic. He's ready to offer you his own personal mentoring when it comes to exploring the depths of magic if you join him."

"Why the hell would you even want a "dirty" gypsy girl like me?" Rowan snarled using air quotes. "Apparently to the rest of the magical world, we're on the same level of Goblins, half-breeds and other groups!"

"You're pure blooded." Antonin Dolohov simply said.

"How would you know?"

"The Dark Lord, knows everything." Rosier said fervently.

"Well he doesn't know this, I WON'T join you or him! Get out before I do something stupid." Rowan said sparks already coming out from her fingertips.

Rosier exchanged a look with Wilkes who rubbed his left forearm.

Rowan's mother shrieked when yet another knock came on the door. Except no one answered it this time because Lord Voldemort himself glided into the room.

It was as if the temperature dropped ten degrees Celsius. Rowan's mother started to silently cry knowing that this was probably the end. Her father was too shocked to do anything.

Kol however braced himself next to Rowan and fingered his wand ready to kiss his short lived life goodbye. But he wasn't going to cry or stand shell-shocked.

Rowan stared at the what was, apparently, the most evil person on earth at the moment. He didn't have a face.

Well, he had a face.

It just wasn't entirely _human_.

It took all her willpower not to shriek or shiver at the site of him. He looked ghastly.

He had no hair, nor nose, or even a proper mouth. His eyes were slitlike, as was his nose, and his pupils were red.

Shrouded in a dark robe, he withdrew his hands from the folds of his robes. Rowan eyed them, half in horror, half in sheer fascination. They were very white, bony and he had extremely long fingers and nails.

The four death eaters had immediately sunk into a half bow and then had stood behind their Lord as a respectable distance.

If she was going to hit the ground dead in a few moments, then she'd do it standing upright and there'd be no begging or any goddamn tears on her face.

He watched her, almost curiously before he opened his slit like mouth. "Rowan Forlani." He said in a low, hoarse voice. He sounded like he had been sick for the last hundred years or so.

She didn't say anything. He seemed to take this as an adequate answer and went on. "Apparently my faithful followers failed to persuade your mind in joining me and my goals."

"They're not too bright." Rowan said before she could control herself.

"Well perhaps I myself can change your mind. I have heard a great deal about you and find your magical capabilities very alluring." He said slowly circling her. With a wave of his hand he magically pushed Kol out of the way.

Rowan eyed Voldemort with apprehension. This was almost surreal. He was in her house. How the hell did he even find where she lived? Her people lived in the most secretive magical communities in England. It was nearly impossible for outsiders to locate where they where except if someone from their own community told the person.

"I am here to reiterate the offer that my followers had blundered through," he shot a foreboding look at the four death eaters who shrank back from him.

"I can offer you an ascension to power that is beyond your wildest dreams, if you should join me, I can help you explore depths that no one but myself have tapped in magic. I believe that your abilities make you extraordinary and you would be a valuable asset to me and my agenda."

"You're here to personally recruit me for your purposes?" Rowan raised a brow. She shifted her stance and cocked her head.

"Exactly. I think that with some aid in the right direction you can become very powerful in your own right and I would be glad to mentor you in magic, all I ask of you is to join me and help me with my agenda and establish a new wizarding world."

"You mean a world where muggles are slaves and only pure blooded people are allowed wands and they run the world, and the world where you pretty much achieve pure blood dominance?"

"A world of excellence, if you will." Voldemort said in his eerie voice.

"I will have to decline your request." Rowan replied steadily. She mentally began to see her flash before her eyes. She saw all the things she loved go before her in a fast reel of images.

Voldemort didn't say anything. "I see. Well. Perhaps I can try to persuade you to change your mind at a different time." With a casual flick of his wand, Rowan was hoisted up in the air and began to revolve around slowly. She tried to keep her eyes trained on Voldemort, and tried to ignore the rush of blood going to her head.

"You can try but I don't think it's going to work. So go ahead and off me now." Rowan said in a steely voice.

"It'd be a shame to kill talent when it has so much potential. The invitation is always open, should you be prepared to join me."

"You will never be able to change my mind, to join you," Rowan spat.

"I said I wouldn't kill you today. But believe me, I can be extremely persuasive when I want to be," and for the first time, Voldemort's lips curled into an evil smirk. With a flick of his fingers he set the living room on fire. Rowan's parents began screaming again and Kol looked at her panicked.

"Get out, go!" Rowan shrieked to her family who made a desperate dash for the back door. She was still stuck hovering in the air. However there was a magical barrier imposed and they bounced back from it. The fire began to spread and everyone started to cough from the smoke.

Voldemort and his followers were protected by a magical invisible force field he had casually drawn up. Kol eyed this and then did the next best thing, he forced her family into a protective magical bubble that was impervious to the smoke.

Now it was only her and Voldemort and her eyes were watering, she was having trouble breathing, her hair had escaped from it's bun and was dangling down beneath her. If it caught fire...things could get very ugly indeed. Her head was about to burst with the amount of blood filling it. And yet, he was still spinning her, like some human top, studying her like a child studies an ant they're going to burn with a magnifying glass.

"I will continue to try and persuade you Rowan Forlani, and sooner or later you will come to me. Because believe me, you'll be thinking over my offer once you see your family, your friends and your close knit community of people start disappearing or worse." Voldemort said in a menacing voice.

"You'll have to kill me personally before I'd ever think about joining you," Rowan coughed violently.

Voldemort smiled except it wasn't really a smile giving his evil personality. "One way or another I look forward to encountering you again." And then with a whirl of his robes he disappeared along with his followers.

Rowan immediately collapsed on the ground and felt a funny crunch as she landed awkwardly on her from the magic he had cast over the house, Rowan's family made a mad dash for the back door and Rowan ran after them, tears streaming from her face because of how thick the smoke had gotten. Once outside she sucked great big gulps of air, her mother examined her injured arm. "You've gone and broken it,"

"Brilliant," she passed a hand over her face. She wasn't sure whether she wanted to laugh or cry about now. It's not everyday you have a personal confrontation with the biggest psychopath in the world and come out alive.

Turning around she saw her parents attempting to put out the fire with their wands. Wearily, she raised her good hand and said "Aguamenti" and helped put on the flames.

Once the flames had effectively been put out they all just stared at the house. The entire front part was burned. Kol slid a glance at her.

"So…that was the evil-iest, most bad-est wizard terrorizing the magical world here?" He asked trying not to show his fear.

"Right there in all of his inhuman glory…" Rowan replied marching back to the house. He followed her and raked a hand through his hair.

"He wants you to join him."

"You heard his high evilness didn't you?" She snapped wrenching the door open and stomping inside.

"Rowan, I feel like people are going to start disappearing soon. How the hell did he even manage to find out where we lived? He couldn't have broken through Roma magic."

"Maybe he has a Roma on his side," her father spoke for the first time. His children whipped their heads around and looked at him confused.

"If he has Roma followers, then they could easily inform him how Roma magic works, where large communities of Roma people lived. In fact he probably has to have one if he managed to locate where we are." He explained surveying the damage. "Of course this is just a theory. You-Know-Who is all knowing and all powerful. Merlin only know how he found us."

Rowan swore and Kol gripped his wand tighter. "So now what?" he asked no one in particular.

"I don't know. We'll figure something out. But something tells me we can't stay here anymore," her mother sighed rolling up her sleeves as she prepared to clear the debris.

* * *

Rowan couldn't believe that she had been personally recruited by the Dark Lord himself. It was surreal.

All because she liked to tinker around with magic.

But the question that kept burning her as she returned to Hogwarts after the break had finished was how the fuck Voldemort managed to find out about her in the first place. How could he have possibly found all the information he knew about her. Someone must have told him.

Now the question was who the _hell_ was that fucker.

Once she found him or her, she was going to tell them to run. Run far and run fast because she was going to murder them. Slowly. And painfully.

She had never been this furious before. She had thought she had been upset when she had gotten into that terrible fight with Sirius, but that was _nothing_ compared to how mad she was now.

And to top it off, Rosier and Wilkes had been in her house. Rosier and Wilkes. _Someone _in their own circles of mates must have told them.

She knew who ran in their circles. Her mouth twisted into a ferocious scowl.

Rowan hadn't seen her mates since she had returned yesterday. She was too incensed to talk. In fact she bypassed their greetings and beckons during breakfast the next morning as she stormed right to where Regulus Black was sitting eating breakfast.

"Get. Up." She growled. Regulus blinked at her. Everyone had gone silent and they were watching them. A Gryffindor talking to a Slytherin. And they weren't just some Slytherin or Gryffindor. Rowan and Regulus were both known for their own things and had become a common name that people talked about for various reasons.

"What are you doing here?" he asked in a low voice. Rowan had no time for this. She hauled him up on his feet by the collar of his robes.

"Move." She said curtly.

"Rowan what the hell do you think you're doing?" Regulus demanded.

His brother Sirius echoed nearly the same thing to James who was staring at them. "What the hell is she doing?"

"Dunno mate. But she looks pissed." James remarked.

"She has her "I'm-gonna-kill-you"-face on," Remus observed worried. Marlene squeezed his hand.

"Let go of me you mad woman!" Regulus protested. Rowan's hand gripped his robes harder and he was surprised at the strength she had.

"Rowan!" he said louder. Then she stopped and turned at him. With a flick of her hand she paralysed him, leaving him shocked.

"You're gonna shut up while I talk, savvy?" She snarled as they left the Great Hall. She threw him against a wall.

He was still paralysed and he couldn't open his mouth. She slapped her hands on her hips. "Guess what happened to me over break?

He blinked. "Oh, your deal old pal Moldy Voldy came to visit me. Yeah, that's right. He made a personal house call to me."

His eyes widened in shock. She lifted the hex off him and he moved his limbs in relief.

"Guess what he wanted? He wanted me to join him and his merry band of idiots who are death eaters!" Rowan said in a false cheery voice. Her eyes looked murderous though.

"He what?" Regulus shouted not believing this.

"He asked me to join him. He said I would be a "valuable asset to achieving his agenda'" Rowan said.

"Oh my god!" Regulus threw out his hands.

"I CANNOT BELIEVE YOU REGULUS. YOU TOLD HIM ABOUT ME?" Rowan bellowed smacking him.

"YOU KNOW WHAT ELSE HE DID? HE SET MY HOUSE ON FIRE. AND THEN HE THREATENED ME. SAYING THAT IF I DIDN'T JOIN HIM, HE'D COME AFTER MY FAMILY AND TERRORIZE MY COMMUNITY UNTIL I DID." Rowan continued quite beside herself. Regulus shrank back against a wall.

"ROSIER AND WILKES AND TWO OTHER CREEPS STORMED INTO MY HOUSE. HOW THE FUCK DID HE FIND ME?"

"THERE'S NO WAY HE COULD HAVE UNLESS HE KNEW ABOUT ME BEING A ROMA, WHICH MEANT SOMEONE MUST HAVE TOLD HIM."

Rowan punched him in the jaw and Regulus swore. "Rowan, I didn't—"

"Seriously Regulus? I can't believe you did. I thought we were…I thought we were mates. He's going to come after my family! He nearly killed us all right there!" Rowan screamed hitting him again and again.

"ROWAN I DIDN'T TELL HIM ABOUT YOU!" Regulus yelled trying to stave off her blows. Fuck she was strong.

"THEN WHO DID?" she shrieked.

"I don't know! Snape asked a couple of questions about you before, ages, ago, about why I liked duelling with you and he was there when I took you to the Hospital Wing—"

"SNAPE!" Rowan bellowed. Without another word she charged right back into the Great Hall. Moments later Snape came hurtling threw the air and crashed into a heap on the ground.

"YOU SOLD ME OUT TO VOLDEMORT?" Rowan roared not caring how Snape flinched at Voldemort's name.

Snape looked at her loftily. "He merely asked if we thought we knew of any good candidates who might want to join a worthy cause," he sneered.

"AUGH!" Rowan directed a hex at him and he howled in pain.

"I CAN'T BELIEVE YOU!"

"You should be honoured he even went to you! You're a fucking gypsy." Snape said getting angry himself.

"I'M NOT. HE SET MY HOUSE ON FIRE. HE NEARLY SET ME ON FIRE. AND NOW HE'S GOING TO GO AFTER EVERYONE I KNOW, BECAUSE I SAID NO!" Rowan wielded another hex at him and he dodged out of the way.

"Well then you have it coming," Snape said maliciously. "You're an idiot for declining his request. He's the most powerful—" but Snape said no more. Rowan's eyes had lost all life and she went deadly silent. Raising a hand, she said, "One day I hope to have the pleasure of killing you personally, slowly and painfully Severus Snape." And with that she thought "_Everte Statum_," and Snape was violently thrown backwards. He slammed over the railing of a staircase and then crumpled into a heap. Regulus noticed blood trickling from his head. Uh oh.

For the first time ever, Rowan had wanted to use an unforgiveable curse on another human being. She wanted to "_Crucio_" Snape right then and there and shish kabob him on a skewer by electrocuting him with a lightening bolt or something equally painful.

"ROWAN FORLANI!" McGonagall's furious voice rang out. Rowan turned around and saw her Professor taking long, angry strides towards her.

Turning back to Regulus she said quietly, "I can't believe you Regulus. I can't believe you told Snape about me, even after I thought you'd have enough sense not to talk about me. You sold me out. I thought you were my friend."

"Rowan," he protested.

"No." she held up a hand. "I don't want to hear anything. I don't ever want to talk to you or even_ look_ at you ever again Regulus. Friends don't put friends in danger and now I'm in danger. I thought you were different."

Regulus tried to say something but she talked right over him. "You're not any different. You're just like the rest of them. You're not my friend. Thank you for reminding me of that."

"Rowan," Regulus pleaded stretching out a hand. She pushed it away.

"No. Fuck you Regulus. _Fuck. You._" She said dispassionately squaring her shoulders to bear McGonagall's wrath.

He would have preferred if she had shouted at him or thrashed him some more. But the fact that she was so quiet, so dispassionate about how she had just said 'fuck you' to him…he knew that had really screwed up this time.

Things would never be the same for any of them again.

* * *

_A/N: *due dramatic music* I hope you enjoyed this! Big days ahead of us everyone, p**lease review and share some of your ideas, thoughts or suggestions! xoxoxo**_


	43. An Invitation

_A/N: Thanks for all of your support! I promise I'll get back to those of you have left reviews. Things have been hectic lately so I'm so sorry for not replying earlier. Anyway, here's the next instalment. Cheers._

* * *

She shifted in the chair that was before the headmaster's desk. Rowan was a little apprehensive. She had only been in Dumbledore's office a grand total of...three times. Each time she had come out completely boggled. However this time she knew she was in big, big trouble.

Dumbledore looked at her gravely and Rowan lowered her eyes. "You intentionally injured a student." He finally said.

She didn't say anything.

"That's a grave misdemeanour Miss Forlani," he said folding his hands.

"I was angry." Rowan muttered. She nervously twisted her fingers in her lap. She was going to be expelled. She just knew it.

"Mr. Snape is in the hospital wing with a concussion. He'll be fine though. It's not a major one."

She carelessly shrugged. "He deserved it," she said coolly feeling her anger rise up in her again at the sheer memory of the morning's events.

"Rowan," he gently reprimanded her. But she was not in the mood for this. In the last seventy-two hours she had nearly been killed, come face to face with Voldemort, had her house set on fire and now this.

"No. Don't. Snape and Regulus practically handed me to Voldemort!" She spat out clenching her hands.

Dumbledore's eyes widened. "Pardon me?"

"I meant to tell you earlier…but I was so angry at who told the Dark Lord about me…I didn't…Voldemort came to my house. During the end of the Easter holidays. He came to my house and personally asked me to join him." Rowan said anger rolling over her words.

Dumbledore's eyes narrowed and he sat back in his seat. "He personally came to see you?"

"He did. He set my house on fire. I thought he was going to kill me when I told him 'no'."

"Why did he want you?"

"He said…he said I'd be a valuable asset to his agenda. He offered to guide me into exploring the depths of magic that I never thought existed." Again, she used air quotes.

"He is a very powerful Wizard. He's tapped the depths of magic that very few have ever seen." Dumbledore remarked. Rowan just looked at him.

"He set my house on fire. And then he spun me around in the air like some toy."

"What else did he say to you?" Dumbledore leaned forward looking at her intently.

"He said that he knew that I created my own spells. He said he also knew that Roma magic had special properties that he would like to explore and that I could be very important in him reaching his goals." Rowan scowled.

Dumbledore's eyebrows drew together. "I see. Well Miss Forlani, you are a very powerful witch. I can see what appeals to Voldemort."

She didn't say anything. Fingering her wand she mumbled, "I told he'd have to kill me personally before I'd ever, ever join him."

"Oh Rowan…" he exclaimed softly. He gave her a keen look and she squirmed.

"Professor…he said he'd go after my family if I didn't join him. He's going to go after my family, my friends and my entire community. He found where we were which is nearly impossible because Roma magic is very different and only we know how to cast it and understand it. I don't understand how he found us. He has to have some Romas on his side too." She said wearily.

"He threatened to kill your loved ones?" his eyes sharpened.

"He said that he's very effective in persuading minds and if I don't change mine, people, it doesn't matter who, my family, friends…everyone…they're going to disappear."

Dumbledore sat back in his chair and studied her. "And you attacked Mr. Snape and Mr. Black because…"

"They told me about him. Or rather Snape did. He said he told the Dark Lord about me and that I was an idiot for saying no and that I deserved what was coming!" she burst out getting mad all over again. Oh she wanted to clobber that greasy haired git.

"He told you this?" Dumbledore asked looking very grave.

"Yes! Why do you think I hurled him against a staircase?" Rowan cried frustrated. "Snape told Voldemort about me! I guess they couldn't recruit anyone else dumb enough to join them so they picked the next best thing, ME. The girl who they forever taunt and tease and don't ever see as a proper human being!" Rowan ranted tearing a tissue to shreds.

"Snape informed Voldemort about you?"

"That's what I just said!" she snapped and them immediately apologized. "Sorry professor. I'm just very, very angry right now."

"Understandable…Rowan," Dumbledore said looking at her with a blazing look in his light blue eyes. Rowan's eyebrows rose at the fact that he had used her first name. The first time in seven years.

"Yes Sir?"

"If you could, would you fight against him?" he asked very seriously.

"Yes," she immediately replied. A satisfied look came into his eyes. "I'd lay down my own life to fight him, I'd rather die first before he gets to those around me." She added a dark looking gracing her face.

"If I told you that there was a way to do that, what would you say?"

"It depends on what it is and what I'd have to do first and what I'd get in return," Rowan said coolly. She really was a survivalist, Dumbledore noted. Moody would like her.

"There's an underground resistance group, that I head, called the Order of the Phoenix. It's made up of a select group of witches and wizards that are all immensely skilled. " He began to explain.

'So you lot are resistance fighters?" Rowan asked appearing disinterested. She wanted to know all the facts first.

"Exactly. We fight for everything that Voldemort stands and we try and combat his threat and get people to resist his power. There are good deal of highly trained Aurors who are in the group and we are currently trying to carry out more secretive, sudden assaults to help crush the Dark Rebellion."

"So what do you want from me?" she asked crossing a leg.

"Your allegiance to the Order of the Phoenix."

"You mean…I'd get to fight death eaters…wand to wand?" She had to admit. This was appealing. She had almost hoped she would run into that greasy haired fucker just so she could off him.

"Or something along the lines of that."

"Why me?" Rowan asked point blank.

Dumbledore crossed his fingers and surveyed her. "Rowan for seven years I have watched you grow and develop. You have extraordinary gifts and you're very powerful in your own right. I feel like that power ought to be used for a better cause. Sooner or later, someone is going to offer you access to more power. I had a faint inkling that Voldemort would want to recruit you,"

"You did?" Rowan asked surprised.

"You have all the qualities he looks for in his followers. You're bright, powerful and you are very hard lined in your beliefs. " He said.

_And I also tend to show no mercy to people who fuck me over_, Rowan thought to herself and nearly shivered. It was a wonder that she hadn't ended up in Slytherin sometimes.

"You can use your power for good or evil Rowan. I'd like to believe you'd like to fight for a greater cause and combat the darkness rather than be the darkness." Dumbledore scrutinized her keenly.

Her mind flitted to the thought of her older brothers, fighting communism in Romania, risking their lives being apart of the secret Resistance. They hadn't gone to Hogwarts, they were much older than she and Kol. They had been sixteen when Rowan and her family had fled to England, when she was only eleven.

Neither of her brothers had finished their school, instead opting to go back to Romania after they had become of age and join the underground Resistance. They had grown up in Communist Romania and could remember everything about it and why they hated it. They were proud to be risking their lives. It was their country, their cause and they would fight for it.

Rowan had sometimes toyed with the idea of joining them after she had finished school but she didn't know what she wanted to do with her life. But Voldemort had come after her and personally threatened her and everyone she had the misfortune or pleasure of knowing.

He had gone after the wrong witch, Rowan thought savagely. Now she was personally involved in this adopted country of hers and now this was her cause, her cause to fight for.

Her brothers would understand, she reasoned.

"Okay Professor. I'll give my allegiance to the Order of the Phoenix on one condition." Rowan finally said.

"And that is?" Dumbledore inquired.

"You protect my family and my community. You do that and I'll do what you want me to do." Rowan answered with a hard look in her eyes.

* * *

They hadn't shaken hands to seal the deal, but he had talked about the risks it involved and what exactly she'd be doing. He also swore her to secrecy so she wouldn't tell her mates yet about it. However he did tell her that sooner or later he'd be extending a personal invitation to them to join the Order as well.

Rowan felt as if she was carrying a sort of talisman with her. At least now she had some kind of future, some kind of purpose after she finished school. Of course she'd be broke and wouldn't have a proper job, because apparently, fighting for the Order was a proper full time job, but she would worry about finances and the rest of reality's pesky nuances later. For now she'd smile smugly at herself knowing that sooner or later those stinking Slytherins would get theirs. And she'd have the pleasure of giving it to them.

"ROWAN!" a pause. "FORLANI!" Lily screeched thundering down the girl's staircase and stomping right up to her mate.

"What's with the pause Lils?" Rowan raised a brow before scribbling one last sentence of a letter she intended to send.

"I wanted to say your middle name…but I don't know your middle name," Lily admitted temporarily distracted.

"You wouldn't be able to pronounce my middle name anyhow," Rowan waved a hand.

"Hey!" Marlene bounded over followed by the Marauders. They had just entered the Portrait Hole.

"What's with the powwow? Sirius inquired sitting on the table sweeping Rowan's books off with a grand flourish. She glared at him and then shoved him off the table and he grimaced picking up her things and righting them before resuming his spot.

"Rowan Forlani what the hell has gotten into you?" Lily demanded slapping her hands on her hips.

Bugger. Rowan mentally sighed. "Oh you know…stress…" she offered with a cheery grin.

"Stress my arse! Since when do you go and thrash Slytherins into a pulp for fun?" Lily asked quite upset with her.

"Since they suck?" Rowan cheekily said. Sirius high fived her.

"Rowan!" Lily shouted.

"Good god Lily. Why are you so upset? After all it's me who has detention for the next freakin month and half." Rowan pointed out.

James whistled. "Wow that's a record, even for you."

"I know!"

"Well you did send that Snape to the Hospital…" Remus said.

"He's lucky he ended up _in_ the hospital," Rowan said venomously clenching her hand. She wrapped up her letter and stuffed it into an envelope.

"How were the Easter holidays?" Peter asked trying to change subjects.

That was a bad move but poor Peter didn't know. Rowan's face immediately darkened and her eyes held a hostility to them.

"It was…fine." She said through gritted teeth getting up. James furrowed his brow.

"Fess up. You're not telling us something."

"Ok! You want to know what happened? Do you?" Rowan asked her mood swinging wildly and getting very agitated.

"Yes!" Marlene exclaimed.

"Okay…the most egotistical jackass in the whole wide universe made a personal house call to me!" Rowan flapped her arms about.

"…Sirius came over to your house?" James asked giving his mate a strange look.

"Hey!" Sirius protested.

"No! I forgot, the second most egotistical jackasss, not that you're a jackass dear," Rowan added before continuing, "Lord Voldy Moldy came to see me!"

"WHAT!" they all yelled in unison.

* * *

After they had barricaded themselves in the boys dorm, Rowan calmed down enough to tell them the whole story of what happened to her and her family at the end of the break. They had all gasped and swore at the appropriate points in her story and at the end they all looked horror-struck at the events that had transpired.

Marlene rushed up to her and gave her a bone crushing hug. "Marlz! Can't. breathe." Rowan coughed.

"You could have died!" Marlene cried hugging her even tighter.

"Yeah well. I didn't. Looks like you're stuck with me for a bit longer." Rowan waved a hand trying to pass it off. She didn't need them to know how scared she really had been.

"I can't believe You-Know-Who actually came and personally asked you to join him," Peter said in a hushed tone. To Rowan's great surprise, he looked faintly impressed. It disturbed her a bit.

"Yeah well who can blame him? She's bloody brilliant." Sirius gestured with a hand appraising her with a hard look. She glanced away from him.

"You actually told him you'd rather die first before you'd ever join him?" Lily asked flabbergasted.

"I did." Rowan affirmed.

"Oh Ro…you pretty much have a death wish on you now!" Remus exclaimed very worried.

"Well…before I used to be three steps from hell. Now I'm two steps from hell. But whatever." Rowan waved a hand carelessly. She strode over to the window and looked out of it moodily.

"You were nearly one step from the edge of hell," Sirius commented quietly coming up behind her.

She turned around and he looked at her sombrely. She caught her breath and for the first time Sirius saw a sliver of vulnerability in her.

"I really thought he was gonna kill me then," she confessed lowering her armour. "It was just like it was in the books, I kind of started seeing my life flash before my eyes," Rowan added wandering over to where Remus and Marlene sat.

"What'd you see?" Remus asked gently.

A sad smile came across her face as Regulus flashed through her head. "All the things I love," she said looking over at Sirius who remained at the window.

* * *

_A/N: I'll leave you lot to it to interpret that =] **Please be kind and review. xoxoxo**_


	44. Silliness

_Thank you so much for you wonderful support and review, you have no idea how much I appreciate them and I always come back to them when I'm stuck writing. :)_

* * *

"Good god, who are they?" Marlene asked Lily thunderstruck at the two beauts who had just entered the Great Hall.

They had just sat down for dinner and Rowan had her nose buried in her Transfiguration book. Now that it was the middle of April they only had a grand total of six weeks till the dreadful NEWTS and Rowan had gone in to her overtime studying mode.

"I don't know but I definitely want to know them," Lily replied fervently forgetting for a moment that she was happily in a relationship.

"You guys…you have boyfriends," Rowan said disapprovingly.

The girl's head snapped up guiltily. She gave them a flat look. "Just because I can't see you from behind my book doesn't mean I can't hear you."

"But Rowan…look at them. They're _gorgeous_." Marlene sighed in appreciation.

"So was Gellert Grindelwald," Rowan sarcastically said.

"Just look at them!" Lily insisted.

"Look at who?" a deep voice came up from behind. Lily nearly fell out of her seat. James grinned at her.

"Have you ever seen those two before?" Marlene pointed to the two newcomers.

"No." Remus squinted trying to remember if he had. "They look older."

Peter whistled. "Man look at all the attention the chicks are giving them!"

"No kidding right, jeez these guys…" James trailed off appraising them. Lily raised an eyebrow. He blushed. "Let's pretend that just didn't happen."

"They're like…art…" Marlene said dreamily. Remus chuckled as he sat down beside her.

"Marlene! He's right next to you!" Rowan exclaimed giving her a shocked look.

"I'm not dead! I'm just an appreciator of beauty," Marlene protested.

"You have a boyfriend and—" Rowan was interrupted as Lily grabbed her shoulders and forced her to look at the people. "_They are off limits_!" Rowan exclaimed jumping to her feet.

She shrieked and then dashed up the to the two young men and threw herself at them. They in turn began laughing and one of them swooped her up and swung her around in a circle. The other one tousled her hair affectionately and cuffed her in a hug.

"Who are they?" Sirius asked jealously noticing the amount of affection she had showered on them. She was returning to their table with her arms around both of the men's waists and they had their arms around her shoulders.

"Dunno mate but she apparently knows them reaaallllly well." James said eyeing the trio.

"You guys! These are my two older brothers!" Rowan exclaimed proudly jerking her brothers forward. Sirius immediately felt better and looked over them once more.

"Your brothers?" Marlene echoed eyeing them curiously.

"Yes! They live in Romania. What are you guys doing here?" She demanded in a language they didn't recognize. Suddenly the siblings began gesturing and talking very fast. Rowan smacked one of her brother's arms playfully and then continued to talk.

"What on earth are they speaking?" Peter whispered.

"Romanian?" Lily took a guess.

"No…I think it's Roma. She's…." Sirius struggled to find the word to describe someone who could speak four languages. He couldn't find it. "She speaks four languages remember?" he finished.

Both brothers were quite handsome, Lily thought as she looked for similarities between them and Rowan. They were both tall, slim and from what could she, muscled quite well. Both of them had the same dark curling hair like Rowan and they both wore it long, messy like. All three of them had the same enchanting blue eyes, high cheekbones and Lily could have sworn one of them even smiled in the same manner as Rowan.

"Sheesh Rowan comes from a good looking family!" Marlene whispered to Lily who nodded.

"I know! They look so similar… but they don't have the as many scars as she does…"

"Prolli cos they don't tinker with magic as much as she does."

Rowan gestured for them to make some space for her brother and they promptly scooted down. She made the proper introductions to the group and they resumed their dinner.

"So whose older?" Lily asked.

"Milosh is," Rowan pointed to the brother who had a slightly crooked nose. He had gotten it that way after breaking it four times.

"But I'm more fun to be around," her other brother, Stefan said playfully jabbing her.

Lily and Marlene giggled and James and Remus exchanged exasperated looks.

"Lay off Stefan. They're both taken and _they're off limits_." Rowan reprimanded sternly. James grinned.

Stefan rolled his eyes. He began speaking in Roma and the siblings once again began talking amongst themselves. Rowan pointed to where the Professor sat and Milosh pointed towards Dumbledore.

"That's the one we talk to?" He asked her sister. Rowan nodded.

"He looks like Santa's cousin," Stefan commented. Sirius choked on his water.

"He's a genius though," Rowan replied.

"So is Santa." Stefan tweaked her nose and she rolled her eyes.

"So what do you guys do?" Remus inquired curious about Rowan's family. She never talked about them much.

They exchanged looks. "We do a lot of things. Smoke too much. Drink too much. Set things on fire too much. But when we're not occupied with all of that, we try and attempt to run the communists out of Romania."

Sirius raised his eyebrows. "You guys are a part of the underground Resistance?"

"Or something like that."

"So what are you doing here?"

"Besides deflecting all female attention from Sirius?" Rowan quipped. Sirius threw a pea at her.

"Oh wait, _you're_ Sirius?" Milosh asked very interestedly. Rowan slid him a sharp glance. Sirius nodded.

"Ohhhhh," the brothers made a noise of comprehension. "Kol told us quite a bit about you."

"Oh Kol!" Sirius exclaimed. He liked Rowan's other older brother. He was a seventh year when Sirius had been a fifth year and like Rowan, he also had the uncanny ability to land himself in detention quite a bit. Sirius and Kol had shared many merry detentions together and Kol had laughed his head off every time Sirius retold some ridiculous story of what Rowan. Kol was very fond of his sister, it was his evident by the way he looked at Gideon every time he saw his arm around her when they were going out.

Gideon, Fabian and Kol had all been very close during their school years. The three of them had their own fan club which was forerunner of Sirius' own fan club.

"How is he?" Sirius asked curious.

"Oh he's fine. Still trying to figure out what the hell he wants to do with his life," Milosh waved a hand.

"Cut him some slack, he's only nineteen," Rowan said feeling protective of her brother.

"He's nineteen! He shouldn't be living at home and he should have a job by now." Stefan growled.

"He's saving money by not paying rent and he's learning—" Rowan try to say before he interrupted her.

"Travelling around the world doesn't constitute as concrete work or learning!" Stefan said exasperated.

"Well at least he's seen more of the world than you two have," Rowan muttered.

"Oh yeah. All that hippie dinkus does is work, make enough money for his next travelling adventure and then come back home to do the same thing again. He ought to do something with his life." Milosh growled.

"He is **NOT** a HIPPIE." Rowan said loudly.

The three of them began to squabble again in Roma and Lily and Marlene exchanged looks.

"What was Kol like?" Lily asked Sirius intrigued. Rowan's siblings so far had proved to be quite interesting.

Sirius thought for a moment. "Kol was…cool," he simply said. Marlene waved a hand for him to elaborate and he shrugged.

"There's no other word for it. He did his own things, on his own time, and he just had this air about him that said "I don't give a fuck." Sirius said.

"So he was like Rowan then," Marlene commented.

"He's quieter, if we were all at a party, he'd be the bloke that looks really cool smoking a cigarette and be the one watching everything go on. He only talks to people he knows really, really well."

The girls sat back and digested this information. Then the three siblings pushed back their plates and Rowan motioned to where Dumbledore was sitting. The brothers nodded and then three of them left the Great Hall.

Nearly ninety percent of the female population of Hogwarts eyed the two brothers as they strode out of the Great Hall and Sirius sighed. Peter looked at him quizzically.

"It's just nice not to be ogled like a piece of meat for once," Sirius explained.

"I'd do anything to have one girl look at me like a piece of bacon," Peter muttered under his breath. Marlene gave him a sympathetic look.

"Aww Peter I'm sure you'll luck will change soon enough." She said.

Peter waved a dismissive hand. "Eh. After years of palling around with the dream team you get used to being the one to console girls after they get the boot from Sirius."

"Hey! I try to be nice when I'm turning them down Sirius protested.

Peter and Remus just looked at him. "Mate, two words. Shut. Up"

Sirius winced. Ok. Yeah. He couldn't help it. It wasn't as if he asked for all this attention. But then he brightened.

"Three words. I'm very sorry." He said smugly .

"Two words. As. If,!" James said gleefully.

"Shaddup." Sirius threw a goblet of water in James' face.

* * *

No one knew why exactly Rowan's elder brothers were at Hogwarts except for the three siblings themselves. After hammering out an agreement with Dumbledore later on that night, Milosh and Stefan kissed Rowan goodbye and departed from Hogwarts. Rowan went to bed feeling slightly better now that she knew the rest of her family would be going back to Romania instead of remaining in England.

Sure communism was evil and being a Roma gypsy in Romania wasn't exactly a walk in the park, but it was the lesser of two evils. Not being able to go into a certain neighbourhood because of your ethnicity was still better than getting killed for no good reason except for your existence.

Her brothers had been pleased with her decision to join the Order. True Milosh had tried to persuade her to return to Romania and run the communists into the ground but he had agreed on the fact that this was more personal; this was her fight, and her thing. He couldn't have been prouder of his baby sister.

* * *

Feeling exceptionally pleased at the turn out of things after that terrible disaster over the Easter Holidays, Rowan bounded down the Girl's staircase in a good mood the next morning. She was met with a decidedly less enthused Marlene and Lily who were slumped over their books.

"Wow you two look hung-over," Rowan prodded her roommates.

"We tried to pull an all nighter," Marlene groaned wincing as she sat up.

"Why on earth would you try and do that?"

"Because James and Remus convinced us that if you could do it, we could do it," Lily moaned feeling the painful crick in her neck.

"Oh girls," Rowan clucked her tongue. "Don't you know? It takes _years_ of practice to be such an accomplished insomniac in order to pull an all nighter and not want to die the next morning."

"True story," Sirius popped over Rowan's shoulder and kissed her cheek bidding her good morning. She felt the ridiculous urge to smile widely at this but kept herself in check.

"I'm never studying again," James muttered getting up from a couch. Remus was still asleep on the floor, a book open on his chest, a quill still poised in his hand.

"You say that now James Potter. Just wait until you get to Potions," Rowan reminded him and he groaned. "Why the fuck did I ever want to become an auror again?"

"Dunno mate. But it was one the stupidest decisions you ever made because now I'm stuck on the same train wreck as you are," Sirius lightly slapped the back of his mate's head before strolling over the Portrait Hole.

The five of them were still a little worse for wear during breakfast, Peter had fallen asleep again, right on his toast and Sirius took great pleasure doodling on him with one of Rowan's awesome muggle contraptions, a pen.

"Honestly Sirius," Lily sighed as she sipped her coffee. Sirius shrugged. Marlene sniggered. Sirius had just drawn a cartoon of Merlin on Peter's cheek.

"What? You guys are dull as tombs and I need to have my daily dose of entertainment." Sirius protested. "If I don't have anything stupid to do or look at, then I can't exactly function properly."

Rowan snorted and then her head whipped up as a crumpled piece of parchment bonked her on the forehead. "Oi!"

Cecelia Neufield smiled nastily at her. Rowan narrowed her eyes and unfolded the note. Her eyes darkened. "_Filthy slut_" it said.

"Uh oh," Sirius said eyeing her apprehensively.

"Please don't tell me you're going to throw her off a staircase too," Lily said anxiously.

Rowan shot her a miffed look. "Please. I didn't throw any one _off_ a staircase. I just threw someone _into_ a staircase. There's a difference."

"You're psychotic," James decided.

"You're life would be boring without me," Rowan replied hardly bothered. She waved her wand over the parchment then neatly folded into a paper airplane. Making sure no teachers were looking she sent it sailing over the crowd of students until it hit Cecelia's forehead. Upon impact inked splattered out and she shrieked. Several students began sniggering at the sight of the mad Slytherin who now had blue ink running down her face.

"And that ink isn't going to scrub off any time soon," Rowan said smugly, James high fived her.

"How do you _do_ that?" Peter asked amazed having woken up to see the ink splatter on her.

Rowan shrugged. "If you put your mind to it, you can do nearly everything. Mind over matter Petie."

"Nearly everything?" Remus raised a brow.

"Mate as much as you want to put your mind over the matter part, you _cannot_ fly, nor will you be able to rise back from the dead," Rowan deadpanned.

"You might want to tell that to You-Know-Who then," Sirius mumbled.

"Yeah….I figured I'd do that once I get back out there and meet the stupid ego maniac himself somewhere." Rowan replied not the least bit bothered.

"I don't understand how you can be so…calm about this," Lily interjected.

Rowan once again shrugged. "Well at first I was terrified. But then I got mad. He fucked with me, so I'm gonna fuck with him. A tit for tat mate. Believe me, I'm gonna look forward to running some Death Eater six feet under," she said with a hint of satisfaction in her voice.

"It's a good thing you're fighting for a good cause rather than being on the other side, you scare me, you know that? Sirius poked her.

"Like I told James here, you're life would be so boring without me,"

* * *

Over the next couple of weeks, Rowan became to be on the receiving end of more than one ill attempt from the Slytherins to get her in detention or worse, from the Hospital Wing. But to her credit, she did not loose her temper (well, not that much), nor did she send anyone flying to walls, or over staircases or send anyone to the hospital wing. She did send Cecelia storming to Professor McGonagall more than once when trying to out do the witty damage Rowan retaliated with.

"Fucking bitch," Cecelia said growled as they passed each other in the hall.

"Darling, I'm the queen of bitches. Sorry to usurp your title," Rowan grinned big. Remus slid her a look.

"You think you're so bloody high and mighty, you're nothing but scum and you know that." The Slytherin girl shoved Rowan.

Stumbling back, Rowan sighed and cocked her head to the side. "Oh Cecelia…what the heck went wrong in your childhood? I'm sure you didn't come out of your mum like that….or wait maybe you did, if you did. Wow your parents really made a _big_ mistake procreating…"

Cecelia shrieked and in a fit of rage, she threw a punch at Rowan's face but missed because Rowan suddenly ducked and then swiped her leg at Cecelia's knees, knocking her down.

Remus gave her an impressed look. "Why don't you just become a guerrilla fighter after school ends?"

"I would love to, but the Wizarding Armed Forces don't allow women in, which is a shame because you know, when women are on that time of month, they get mean. They could really inflict some damage ya know…"

"Augh Rowan too much information." Remus covered his ears.

"It's true! Anyhooo…Cecelia Neufield you're becoming a regular pain in my arse you know that?" Rowan prodded her with her foot. She huffed and scrambled to her feet.

Opening her mouth to shout some more, she blinked and then closed her mouth. Trying again, her eyes narrowed and she began gesturing furiously at Rowan. Rowan had cast a silencing charm over Cecelia.

"You know…you seem to have a lot of pent up anger and jealously issues. And I can understand why, you're angry because well, unfortunately you got sorted into Slytherin, and things just went downhill from here and you're jealous…well…because I'm kind of an awesome person, no wait, I'm a motherfucking brilliant bitch, and well, you're not. We really ought to do something about that…." Rowan mused thoughtfully. Remus inched back away from her. uh oh…

Rowan waved a hand and Remus's eyes nearly popped out of his head. Rowan had turned Cecelia's hair green and red, she looked like a terrible cartoon character or a clown!

"Ta ta Cecelia!" Rowan trilled swinging Remus away with her hand.

"How long will that charm wear out?"

"in a day…or two…" Rowan replied traipsing up a staircase.

Then they heard an earth shattering shriek and a lot of swearing and Rowan burst out laughing. "Run Remy, _run_ like hell!" she shouted scrambling up the staircase up to their next lesson.

* * *

There was a lot of staring and furtive looks and whispers when Sirius strolled into the Great Hall the next morning. He decided if he was going to look ridiculous for god knows how long, he might as well own it. He'd hold his head up high goddamnit.

His pink and blue striped head to be exact.

"Oh good lord!" Rowan burst out into a fit of laughter upon seeing him. Sirius rolled his eyes and took a seat across from her.

"Smile for the cameraaaaaaa," Marlene sang snapping a picture of him.

"Aw jeez!" Sirius threw up a hand.

"Marlzly it's a bit early for a big flash of light to be blinding me," Sirius deadpanned helping himself to some eggs.

"And to think if you only answered the last question correctly I would have been the moron with pink and blue hair," James poked a spoon at Sirius' face.

"It was an unfair question," Sirius grumbled. "What were you lot doing last night? And why does Sirius have pink and blue hair?" Lily asked curiously as she examined a bright pink lock.

"We were playing wizard jeopardy in efforts of trying to make revision more fun, but then we realised that revision and fun don't mix. Ever. Anyway, we made a bet, yeah? We bet that I would answer more questions correctly than Padfoot could,"

"And obviously, he did," Peter gestured with a flourish to Sirius' coloured hair.

"Good lord," Marlene shook her head. "You lot really are idiots, you know that right?"

"That does not prevent you guys from snogging us," James pointed out smugly. Lily and Marlene had the decency to look faintly embarrassed. Rowan bit her cheek in effort to not laugh and even Sirius shook his head.

"Too bad you and Peter aren't in the club, might want to get on that, you know. Time waits for no one," James replied breezily. Sirius gave him a look and James continued to eat his breakfast. However moments later he cried out in pain as Rowan gave him a swift kick in the shins.

"Ouch!"

"You're such a prat you know that?" she said. Sirius high fived her and nodded.

"At least I'm not the one with pink and blue hair," James muttered.

"Yes, and even then you still are a bigger idiot that Sirius looks like right now!" Rowan huffed.

"I like the hair colour. It makes you look…more approachable." Marlene decided.

"Approachable? Why is he unapproachable otherwise?" Rowan asked perplexed.

"Uhhh maybe it's cos you've been mates for so long but haven't you noticed that not many girls or guys come and say hi to Sirius on their own? It's cos of his hotness!" Lily explained.

"Cheers darling," Sirius held up his tea cup.

"So? Big deal. A person's looks shouldn't mean squat when it comes to saying "hi"." Rowan snorted.

"Are you kidding me? I wanted to say 'hi' to you since I was twelve' except I couldn't! and then thank god you became mates with James and then I could finally say something." Remus inputted.

"Why on earth didn't you say hi before?" Rowan inquired bewildered.

"Because!" then he mumbled something and then flushed.

"Pardon me, what's that Mooney?"

"It was cos you were…well…pretty." He repeated turning even more red. Marlene giggled.

Rowan gave him a funny look. "I was pretty?" she asked flatly.

"Well, you were a pretty twelve year old! You had nice hair!"

"And I don't now?" Rowan teased.

"Augh! Forget that I said anything. Point is, yes, people's looks do matter when it comes to talking to people." Remus said in a huff. Then he shut himself up by stuffing a piece of toast into his mouth.

"Don't worry, I think you just got better looking as you've gotten older," Sirius told her. She laughed and shook her head.

What he really wanted to say was that he thought she had just gotten more beautiful now that she was older but everyone was at the breakfast table and he didn't want to make himself look like an idiot.

"Look at you, being all cute and nice and not trying to run each other into the ground." Lily teased.

"Hey!" Rowan exclaimed feeling a bit miffed.

"You two have become…relatively normal." Peter added.

Sirius and Rowan exchanged looks. "Normal" was almost as bad as a swear word for the two of them.

They'd have to fix that.

* * *

Rowan had the brilliant suggestion of covering themselves in butter and seeing how far they could slide down the marble corridor to combat their new found normalness.

"WOOOOOOOOOO!" Rowan shrieked as she slid on her stomach down the length of the corridor.

"Augh she beat your mark Prongs!" Remus exclaimed. They had put magical markers to mark where they had finally landed.

"How do you do THAT?" James cried stamping his foot. He slipped and landed on his butt.

"I need some more butter. Grease me up reeeaaallll good." Sirius slapped some more butter on himself.

"Should we feel bad about wasting so much butter from the kitchen?" Peter wondered idly.

"Nope, because Rowan just caused the original stock of it to multiply so we have a nearly endless supply of it," James promptly answered.

"Here ya go mate, enjoy," Rowan dumped an entire bucket full of melted butter over Sirius and he shivered pleasurably. Warm butter over you felt quite nice. He carefully took a step back and then took a few deep breaths as if he was going to run a one hundred metre dash. Then he ran quickly and dove to the ground.

"Look at him go!" Remus whooped. Rowan laughed as Sirius continued to slide down the corridor further and further.

"ROWAN I GOT YOU BEAT!" Sirius hollered from where he had finally slipped to a halt.

She narrowed her eyes and slapped her hands on her hips. "No one beats me." She said dumping some more butter over her.

Siirus opted to stay where he was, wanting to see if Rowan could surpass him. He was pretty confident that she wouldn't.

But of course, the universe would prove him wrong. Of course. Because it was her. and she was his star in his sky, his reason to want to be a better man and because he loved her.

And because she was just goddamn awesome.

Rowan whizzed past him shouting in delight. "Destination further!" She screamed bypassing him.

"AW MAN C'MON!" Sirius stomped his foot and then slipped forward. He landed on top of her.

"Ooof!" she exclaimed. Wriggling underneath him, she said, "Get off me ya big lug!"

"How do you manage to beat me every time?" Sirius asked still on top of her.

"Don't you know by now Sirius? I always win." She replied win a muffled voice.

"Always?"

"Always?" she affirmed.

"I don't ever get to win, not even once?" Sirius asked.

Rowan thought about this for a moment. The silly picture of her and Sirius in tie dye t shirts, tanned and holding hands somewhere in America. She smiled to herself. Thank god Sirius couldn't see her.

"Well. Perhaps once you might get to win," she said after a moment.

Sirius thought that he heard something more in that statement and felt his heart feel lighter than weeks.

The moment was broken then by a loud whoop from James as he threw himself on top of them.

"Butter huddle!" James shouted. Remus promptly joined them and then even Peter got in on the pile.

"You. Lads. Can't. Breathe!" Rowan gasped. Having four strapping lads smooshed on top of you wasn't exactly the thrilling thing that it sounded like. Plus they were all covered in butter.

"Savour this moment Ro. Sooner or later we can't be pulling stupid crap like this any longer." James said.

She was about to protest and then remembered her brothers, and what was going to face her after finishing school. So she smiled and managed to say, "Yeah. You're right."

* * *

_A/N: I hope you enjoyed the light-heartedness of this chapter, and the length of it, it's nearly the double the length of the previous one. **Please be good and review! xoxoxox**_


	45. A Couple of Couples

_A/N: Thank you so much for all over you wonderful reviews for the last chapter! That's probably the most I've ever gotten for one chapter and it definitely helped me sit down and bang out a good dozen pages or so. (That and listening to Trance Around the World), so please keep them coming! Hope everyone is doing well._

* * *

Spring had finally showed itself around May, putting most of the students in a good mood. Most being everyone except for the Fifth and Seventh Years. However, Rowan was determined that she would enjoy her last spring at Hogwarts.

She breezed through the Boy's dorm one Saturday afternoon and then promptly stopped dead in her tracks. Sirius was lounging around by the window, with his classic brooding face on, and nothing else for a pair of worn out boxers.

Rowan carefully appraised him with sharp eyes. Damn. He was really fit, she idly thought.

She was quite surprised to see that he had a tattoo right below his collar bone. Intriguing.

"Like what you see?" Sirius grinned like a cat and Rowan snapped her eyes away from his lithe body.

"I'd be lying if I said 'no'," Rowan replied frankly. To her credit she didn't blush or stammer or anything. Sirius felt a little put out about this. She was just so damn unflappable he thought ruefully.

"So what's up Ro?" Sirius asked making himself more comfortable on the window seat. It was his room and he wasn't going to put on any trousers any time soon.

"It's nice outside. Let's go and be human and study outside." Rowan gestured towards the sunlight that was streaming inside.

"Augh I'm comfoooorrtaaable here," Sirius moaned.

"You need sun. It has vitamin D. You need vitamin D. You're too pale." Rowan poked his shoulder.

Sirius gave a great big snort. "_I'm_ too pale. Yeah right. If I'm pale woman, then Lily's a friggin ghost."

"Shaddup. Put on some pants and let's go." Rowan briskly tugged him to his feet.

"Fine, fine fine. But if I have to put on some pants then you have to get out of your bloody pyjamas," Sirius pointed a finger at her frayed pyjamas. When Rowan wasn't in her school uniform, she was clad in ripped up pyjamas, worn our sweats, band t-shirts and odd rainbow socks.

"Fine. You put on some pants. I'll go and look like a girl." She huffed barging out the door.

Sirius let out a laugh before ambling towards his wardrobe. He glanced out the window again and began to feel quite cheery thanks to the fact that the weather was nice and he had the pleasure of having Rowan all to himself for an afternoon.

* * *

He couldn't take his eyes off her, and frankly, neither could the rest of the school who was outside enjoying the day. Rowan had donned a white, easy sun dress that was held by two thin straps that exposed her dusky skin nicely and Sirius was very interested in where she had gotten her muscles from.

"You clean up really nice you know that?" Sirius said as they tramped through the grass armed with the books and the their rest of their study things.

"Oh I know," Rowan replied mildly.

"You need to do this more often," he added.

"Do what more often?"

Sirius waved his free hand. "You know."

Rowan fully did know what he was referring to but she wanted to hear him say it. "No. I don't. Do enlighten me."

Sirius flushed and fumbled for a bit trying to figure out the words. Feeling as if he had dug himself a well-sized hole, he might as well make himself comfortable in it. "You're good looking and you know it. Indulge in yourself more often."

"Good looking?"

"Ok fine you're goddamn beautiful, but that's not the point." Sirius waved a hand.

"And what is the point then?"

He fell silent. Then he mentally slapped himself. "Augh. I don't know! Bugger, you really do always win, don't you?"

"Pretty much. And this is the thing Sirius, I know I clean up nicely, and I know that if I dress nicely and put an effort into my appearance, and that would illicit a lot more attention, but I choose not to." Rowan replied in a composed manner.

Sirius looked at her strangely. "Well if you know all of this then how come you don't do any of it? You have enough confidence to blow this entire school out of the water."

"Because I told you, I choose not to because people look at me anyways. It doesn't matter how the hell I dress or put on my face. I could march into the Great Hall with green hair and purple pinstriped suit and people wouldn't care."

"I'd pay big money to see that." Sirius sniggered.

"Always. Ok this is good." Rowan dropped her things and surveyed the spot she had picked.

It was right under a large willow tree not too far away from the edge of the lake and away from most prying eyes. Sirius had noticed she had once again been on the receiving end of stares from both girls and guys. Well the girls glared at her simply because she was seen with Sirius and the guys stared because of the same reason Sirius had stared, because of that damn sun dress and the fact she was owning it right well.

"Ok fine. Let's study." Sirius plopped to the ground.

"Uh uhhh," Rowan tutted. With her wand in one hand she waved it and conjured up a couch. With her other hand she conjured up a coffee table. Sirius' mouth dropped open.

"Wow you've gotten really good with wandless and non verbal magic." Sirius remarked still stunned at her capabilities.

She smiled at him. "Mate if we're going to study ourselves to death, then we're going to do it in style and comfort." And with that she flopped on the couch and grabbed her Arithmancy books.

"Shove, love." Sirius plopped down beside her and lifter her legs so they rested on his lap. She had kicked off her sandals and Sirius slid a glance at her. Right now she looked utterly perfect, he realised.

"Shut up and study stupid," Rowan said burying her nose in her books.

* * *

Sirius faithfully studied the best he could for a while. But the day was so beautiful and they were kind of hidden away from the world by the willow tree and he had the girl of his affections sprawled out on a couch beside him.

It was a moot point trying to study, he decided after two hours of silence. He flicked her feet and she lowered her book, giving him an annoyed look.

"Sirius can you not focus at all? Honestly you have an attention span of a four year old." She grumbled.

"It's your fault. You took me outside!" He protested.

"You're impossible."

"C'mon lets just enjoy this day." Sirius coaxed her.

Rowan sighed and then studied his face. His, easy, relaxed manner made her smile and she gave in. "Fine. What do you want to do?"

"Let's play Exploding Snap!"

Three games later and a few enjoyable arguments later, Rowan and Sirius were situated in the willow tree and Sirius grinned at her. "When's the last time you climbed a dress in a tree?"

"Sirius did you just hear yourself?" Rowan laughed swinging down a branch lithely.

"Yeah I heard it. You already know that I'm an idiot most of the time,"

"Half of the time," Rowan corrected climbing higher and higher. Sirius scrambled after her.

"Good lord look at this view," Rowan declared popping her head out from the topmost branch.

"It is lovely," Sirius agreed looking at her.

Sometimes Sirius really hated how logical, chaotic and totally mad she was. She was so unpredictable in her life and when it came to mucking around in magic but she was so bullheaded when it came to him and her.

He needed to change this. She couldn't be holding the cards all the damn time.

Maybe it was because of how nice the day way, or how the sunlight was dappled over her face, or how a stray curl framed her jaw or how her skin seemed to shine in the sun or that stupid white dress she was wearing, but it was all very good and it was driving him mental.

They were very close, her bare arm brushing against his. And he then he decided to take the plunge. Recklessly charging ahead, he tipped her chin up and looked hard at her.

"You infuriate me," he told her flatly.

She raised a brow. "I know. And I'm not sorry."

"Good cos I'm not gonna be well sorry about this," and with that Sirius pressed his lips against hers.

For a moment she just stood there, a little shocked then her senses kicked back in. bBalancing precariously on top of the branches, she gently wrapped her arms around his neck and kissed him back.

Sirius felt her smile against his lips and broke away laughing. "You're such a doofus, making me laugh. How on earth am I supposed to kiss you properly?"

"Sorry,"

"Shut up and let me redeem myself would you?" and with that Sirius kissed her hard and tangled a hand in her hair.

This time she didn't smile or laugh but instead returned his kiss, gripping him harder in her arms.

After a few glorious minutes, Sirius reluctantly released her and trailed a finger over her collarbone.

There was a reason why Rowan had put off giving in to her emotions about Sirius for so long because once she did, she would never be able to tear herself away from him. He was addictive, everything about him made her go bonkers. And after that terrifying moment with the most ego maniacal jerk on the planet, when she saw all the things she loved flash by her eyes, she knew that she loved him as more than as a mate. She just wasn't quite ready to tell him yet.

But she did want to kiss him again.

"Sirius I despise you," she muttered kissing him lightly before starting to climb down the tree.

"Good cos I despise you too," Sirius called after her following her. Rowan jumped gracefully from the lower branches and landing sprightly on the couch. Sirius tried to do the same but misjudged and ended up landing in a heap on the grass behind the couch.

Rowan burst out laughing and turned around to see him splayed out with the wind knocked out him.

"How do you _do_ that?" Sirius exclaimed not bothering to get up. Rowan jumped over the couch and threw herself down beside him, inhaling the smell of the sweet, sweet grass, relishing the prickly, tickle-ly feeling it gave her bare feet.

"Do what?"

"That? You…jump, you twirl, you're so bloody graceful. I bet you could perform backwards flips if you wanted to. What were you? A bloody gymnast in your past life?" Sirius turned on his stomach and looked out ahead of him.

Rowan didn't answer but she had queer smile about her face. Sirius looked at her. "What's so funny?"

"Nothing,"

"You ought to become an acrobat after graduation."

"Perhaps I'll join a circus once I get to the states," she replied off handily.

"No, join one here. Otherwise how would I get to see you perform?"

"You know Sirius…you could just never not come back from the states if you choose to. You've got your whole bloody life ahead of you. Live it." Rowan turned on her back and folded her hands beneath her head.

"I've got my life here."

"There's a whole lot more out there Sirius. You should go and find it." Rowan told him studying the clouds.

"And what about you? What the hell are you going to do after school?"

"I'm gonna live," she simply replied.

"How?"

"I'm gonna do whatever I want, with whoever I want, whenever I want," Rowan said with a glint in her eyes thinking of what actually faced her after school ended.

"Sound good," Sirius said closing his eyes and enjoying the sun on his face. He reached up and tugged one of her hands from her head and then laced his fingers with hers. When she didn't object, Sirius smiled and kept his hand intertwined with hers.

* * *

The universe works in funny ways. As Rowan and Sirius were slowly forming the foundations of their relationship, another couple at the same time was falling apart.

And that couple, ladies and gentlemen, unfortunately happened to be Lily and James.

Of course, there were no visible cracks in their relationship from the outside. They appeared to be the perfect couple. Happy, spent time with each other as well as with their mates. They weren't PDA excessive, and so on.

However it was the unspoken thoughts of the future that brought their relationship to its knees.

Lily sighed and stretched out on her bed. James was lying beside her trying to concentrate on his Potions notes. They had the dorm to themselves and that was rare.

The girl's dorm, James had decided, was infinitely nicer than the Boy's dorm. Not only was it neater, it was just infinitely more interesting. This may have to do with the fact that Rowan had gone all out on decorating her part of the dorm with intricate gypsy tapestries, hanging beads, dream catchers and other what's-it's and doo dads. Marlene and Lily's decorations were pretty too and together their room was quite delightful to be in.

Lily stared discontent out of the window. She was so bloody tired of studying, even in the fun ways. They had about five weeks to go until their NEWTs and she couldn't bear it anymore. The more she studied the more she as if she was forgetting the material rather than remembering it.

"Bugger I give up on this. Potions were a terrible idea to take at the NEWT level." James declared hurling his Potions books to across the room.

"Jamie," Lily said reproachfully using her pet name for him. "You shouldn't treat books like that, they have knowledge in them."

"It's POTIONS!"

"Still, _accio_," Lily waved her wand toward the books. She stacked them on her bedside table and then curled up beside him.

"Damn, don't you wish we could all do wandless magic like Rowan?" James said ruefully studying his wand. "Then we wouldn't have to worry carrying these things around or loosing them or all that rubbish."

"Yes well, Rowan always says it comes with a price," Lily replied tracing patterns on his arms.

"What does that mean?"

"I'm not sure. She just says that with the greater amount of power you have to your magic, the more dangerous it is because you begin to loose site of boundaries….I don't know. It was very late when we were talking that night and I was already half asleep. But then again half the time I don't really understand what the heck she says…" Lily trailed off.

"Half the time she does talk in riddles and half the time you just have to listen reeeeaaallllly hard," James said poking her.

"Are you saying I'm a bad listener?" Lily pouted.

"Well who could blame you when you've got me around you all the time?" James grinned.

"Are you sure that I'm busy focusing on you and not on Sirius? Both of you are real good looking," Lily teased.

"Shaddup Lilypad." James tickled her and she giggled.

"Besides if you were then you'd be spending a lot of time looking at Rowan with the goofiest expression on your face. He does that a lot."

"Yeah well he likes her,"

"No, he loves her," James corrected.

Lily said nothing but turned on her side to look at him. "Then what is Rowan playing at? We have five weeks till NEWTs and then maybe a week or so afterwards. And then we're done."

"And your point is?"

"It just seems a little…futile for Sirius to put himself through this when we're all going our different ways. I mean, you know Rowan. She's the one out of all of this whose likely to end up in Peru for six months if she wanted to."

"What'd you mean by going our different ways?" James asked a little bewildered.

"Well. We're all going to be going to do our own things aren't we? I mean, you and Sirius will want to be going through your Auror training and all that, Marlene wants to go to Gringrotts for curse breaking and I have my Healer apprentice ship provided I pass my NEWTs…I don't know. We're going to be doing our own things. And god knows where we're going to be. I don't know why Rowan is all happy about finishing school. Finishing school it's…it's the end of kind of…everything. No more hanging around the fireplace in Common Room, no more seeing everyone every day."

"God that's a depressing picture Lily," James flopped a hand over his eyes.

"It's reality." Lily quietly said smoothing a finger over an eyebrow.

"Well reality sucks."

Lily pressed a kiss against his lips and said, "So does being a grown up apparently,"

"How am I supposed to deal with not seeing you everyday?" James groaned.

Lily shrugged and studied him with serious eyes. "I don't know. Wean yourself off me?"

James frowned and gave her a sharp look. "What's that supposed to mean?"

Lily lowered her eyes and didn't say anything for a moment. "Lily?" James pressed on.

"James….augh. I hate being one "those" girls…but honestly speaking…we only have seven weeks of term left…and then…that's it."

"What's it?" James asked struggling to keep his temper down and squash down the feeling of something very bad was going to happen.

"We're...augh god!" Lily rubbed her eyes and then sat up. "Well. Where is this thing going James? Honestly. We're two eighteen year olds and we haven't been going out for all that long…"

"Six months and twenty-seven days," James quietly said feeling that things were indeed going to take a turn for the worse.

Lily gave him a mixed look of regret and affection. "We have our whole lives ahead of James…and we all want different things."

"What things do you want?" James asked sitting up on the bed and looking at her.

She waved a hand. "I don't know, that's the problem. I want to be a Healer, I want to travel, I want to live on my own, I want to be independent…there's so many."

He didn't say anything. "James…it's not that I don't care about you, I do, I really do, " Lily said.

However privately, she thought to herself, "_I'm in love with you, we're finishing school in seven weeks and then I'm never going to see you, and **that's** the problem_."

"It's just that we have our whole lives ahead of us, and I don't want to hold you back from anything and we're eighteen! It's not like we're going to get married or something and we live in different places and I just think, pragmatically speaking that the school year ends, and well…not that I want it to, don't we end too?" Lily said her voice becoming softer and softer.

"Pragmatically speaking?" James repeated coolly.

"It just makes more sense." Lily sighed pulling her hair back into a ponytail.

"We could try long distance," James said lamely.

Lily waved this suggestion off. "Please. Long distance never works. Especially after this. Not being able to see you every day? Impossible."

Now James was beginning to loose his temper. "Well this doesn't make sense either." He finally stated as he climbed of the bed. Running a hand through his messy hair he cocked his head and stared hard at her.

"What doesn't make any sense?"

"This. Now that you've informed me how you envision us, I'm just going to be thinking we only have seven weeks together, we only have six, then five, then four and then oh look, it's time to break up. What's the point of staying together when we know that apparently, we're going to break up?" James asked getting upset as he rattled out his words.

"We still have some time to be together…" Lily said softly.

"Time that is marred by the fact that we're going to break up! Why drag out the impending knowledge? It makes no sense. Just rip the fucking bloody band-aid off now."

Lily blinked. He had never sworn at her like this before. Sure, he swore, they all did, but at different things, not at each other. Well minus Rowan. Rowan swore at James and Sirius quite often because of their antics.

But James hadn't sworn at her like_ this_ before.

"The band-aid?" She asked confused.

"If we know we're not going to work out, why prolong the misery? It's like you said, I should get used to not seeing you every day. Wean myself off you," James sarcastically said using air quotes.

"James…" Lily softly said crossing over to him. He took a step backwards from him.

"No. Don't. Just." James sighed and pressed his palms over his eyes.

They stood there, looking at each other. James could see Lily's eyes becoming brighter and brighter with un-spilled tears and he felt shaky inside.

"If you really want to be all pragmatic…then the most sensible thing is to just end this now. Then we have seven weeks to just focus on ourselves and our studies." James said at last.

Lily swallowed and tears threatened to come but she maintained her composure. She was going to take a leaf out of Rowan's book and she was _not_ going to cry in front of him.

"That appears correct," she said in a carefully controlled voice. Lily crossed her arms across her chest. She suddenly felt very cold.

"Okay then," James said gruffly.

"Okay then," Lily echoed still looking at him.

They stood there for a good minute or so, at a complete loss of what to do. James felt an eerie stillness settle into the room and decided he needed to get the hell out of there right now. He needed to do something, anything, to get his legs moving so he could process that he and Lily had just broken up.

Briskly he gathered up his books and notes and shoved them in his schoolbag. Lily watched in silence and didn't say anything when he turned the doorknob to leave.

He turned however and gave her a quiet look. "Take care of yourself okay?" he said roughly before leaving her alone.

Lily waited a full minute before sinking down on her bed and finally letting the tears out.

* * *

Neither one of them showed up at dinner that night which left their little group puzzled. Sirius spent the rest of the evening studying with Rowan, Remus and Marlene while Peter locked himself up in the library. He merely assumed that they were busy doing their own studies and didn't bother going up to his dorm until he felt the absolute need to go to bed. He barged into dorm like an elephant and promptly stopped in his tracks when he saw James sitting on the window seat with the most desolate expression he had ever had the displeasure of seeing. He immediately knew that something was off.

"James?" Sirius asked hesitantly walking over to where he was.

"We broke up." James quietly answered.

Sirius had to refrain from dropping his jaw at this. He wasn't sure that he heard right.

"Erm. Pardon me?" Sirius asked after a good pause or two.

"Lily and I…we broke up." James repeated.

Again Sirius couldn't really think or process this. Utterly flabbergasted, he took a seat beside James and raked a hand through his locks.

James stared morosely out of the window and Sirius pursed his lips. He wasn't quite sure what to do now.

At last Sirius said, "I'm sorry mate," and he patted his knee. And then Sirius eased himself against the opposite wall of the window seat and sat with James in silence.

James didn't say anything because honestly, he couldn't say anything but he appreciated Sirius not asking any questions or making a big deal, instead just keeping him company.

Sirius didn't know how long they sat there in silence but at some point Rowan marched right on in and looked at James with the softest expression Sirius had ever seen.

Maybe it was the site of another girl, or the fact that she was his best mate or who knows why but finally, James kind of broke down and he was a little embarrassed that a tear made its way down his cheek. Gruffly he rubbed it off but neither Rowan nor Sirius commented on this. Rowan wrapped his arms around him and James held her tightly around her waist and buried his head in her midsection. Rowan dropped a kiss on the top of his head and didn't say anything.

Sirius scooted closer towards James and put an arm around his shoulders. The three of them staid like that for a long time not talking because they all knew that there are few better things than human comfort at times like these.

* * *

_A/N: Ok, so this chapter is obviously a half glass kind of full or half glass kind of empty thing by the looks of things...and I know you lot will want my head on a platter, **but trust me, I have a plan!** A marvellous plan that will insure a big pay off. **Please be lovely and review!** (Sirius really wants you too as well since his best mate just got dumped) xoxoxo_


	46. Nap Partners

_A/N: As always thanks for the fantastic support and reviews, they truly are inspiring so keep it coming!_

* * *

The break-up of Lily and James casted a shadow on the group and now that they had four weeks till NEWTs, most of them felt the threat of an impending break down for themselves.

Marlene and Rowan did their best to comfort Lily and faithfully staid by her side as best as they could. Marlene was better at providing girl comfort since she had gone through numerous break-ups over the years. Rowan did her best by keeping a close eye on Lily and more than once she had cuddled with Lily in bed helping her go to sleep.

Rowan was in a tight spot because she was best mates with both Lily and James and she didn't know what to do. For a moment Sirius and her were quite worried that this meant that their group would be effectively broken up and they wouldn't be able to hang out anymore.

Lily squashed this theory, thankfully, by taking a seat next to Marlene the next day during breakfast and Marlene was of course sitting next to Remus. Sirius and James were sitting opposite of them and for a moment everyone froze before Lily briskly said "Good morning" and helped herself to some toast and shook open the _Daily Prophet_.

Rowan raised her eyebrows but didn't say anything. James focused on his Transfiguration notes and that was that. Except for the horrible awkward silence that fell upon them for five minutes, it was okay once they regained control of the senses and began talking amongst themselves again.

"Has she told you why they've broken up?" Remus asked Rowan as they tramped down the corridor.

She shook her head. "No, she hasn't said anything except for the fact that it's for the best and that was about it. We didn't pry or bother asking. When she wants to tell, if she wants to, she will."

"Prongs hasn't said anything either…how can this be for the best when they're apart? They belong together!" Remus exclaimed waving his hands.

"Well…sometimes things don't work out." Rowan shrugged as her mind began to focus on other things.

"They'll get back together, they have to," Remus said emphatically. Rowan gave him a look and he shut up. She stopped in front of an empty classroom and Remus looked quizzically at her.

"Are we not going to the library?"

"You are,_ I'm_ not, Rowan corrected as she rattled the doorknob.

Remus had learned long ago not to question Rowan with the things she did or said, instead rolling his eyes and bidding her goodbye as he continue to make his way to the library. Rowan dropped her things in a heap on the desk and then hopped on it as she rubbed her temples thinking hard.

Mindlessly she waved one hand and conjured up a bouquet of flowers. she snatched up her wand with her other hand and then tapped the flowers, transforming it into a stately vase.

Dissatisfied she hurled it across the room, relishing the shattering noise it made and then focused on the shards that littered the floor. With a flick of her fingers the broken glass turned into flower petals.

Expressionlessly, she stared at it and then waved her wand over the scattered petals and they disappeared. Rowan sighed and studied her wand. She had the mind to break it in half but that would be a stupid thing to do.

It was all so tame, this magic, she had decided a long time ago. Once she had begun to figure out the in's and outs of creating magic and not inflicting so many injuries on herself, she had begun to move away from creating whimsical charms and transfiguration spells. She had always been more intrigued by creating jinxes, hexes and spells that could be used to defend herself in case someone tried to fuck with her.

Additionally she had a fascination with the Dark Arts. She had never admitted it to anyone and she had never _really_ tried to create any black or dark or malicious spells, but like she confided in Dumbledore, it was always good to know all types of magic and how it worked.

Plus, she reasoned, the better she knew how Dark Magic worked, the better she could be at steering herself far, far away from ever dabbling in it or trying to create spells in that manner.

It was all about intent, Rowan had learned. What constituted as good magic and dark magic all depended on the intent of the spell, the spell caster and who the spell inventor. It all depended on what you intended to do with magic at the end of the day. Technically speaking, you could cast the Cruciatus curse on a murder as a way of interrogation and you wouldn't be considered the bad guy. But of course this was technically speaking.

They had about four weeks until their NEWT's and then two weeks of leisure time to themselves as the rest of the school buckled down for their own examinations. For Rowan, those two weeks meant she had to push herself farther than she had ever gone because she had the Baranbus Finkly Spell Casting Competition.

It was a prestigious award to be sure, but what motivated Rowan as the ten thousand galleon prize to the person who came first.

Ten thousand galleons was whole lot of bloody money, especially for Rowan and her family. She had no idea how the hell she was going to support herself after finishing school, especially since now Dumbledore had recruited her to the Order of the Phoenix.

Not that being a Resistance Fighter and offing a couple of Death Eaters didn't appeal to her, it just would ease her conscious if it paid her…but sadly it didn't.

She had never been greedy, but she had grown up in near poverty thanks to the stigma that was attached to Roma people and her family had never been financially well off, comfortable or even been able to breathe. It was a miracle that they managed to send her and Kol to Hogwarts giving the amount of money the bloody textbooks cost. For Stefan and Milosh, schooling in Romania had been free, thanks to public school.

Of course seeing as the bloody commies ran the entire nation, the schooling wasn't that good and there was a lot of regulations and restrictions imposed on students who attended those schools. But it was just as well since her two elder brothers never particularly liked school and they ended up dropping out and never returning anyway since they had joined the Resistance to fight the Communists.

So yes, ten thousand galleons would afford her live comfortably on her own, support herself, and still have some to put in her savings and she could spend her time trying to run Voldy Moldy into the ground without worrying how to pay for the roof over her head.

Rowan stretched her arms over her head and flexed her fingers. Then she focused her mind and put her gypsy blood to good use as she began to experiment once again.

What she needed to do, was to be able to harness her temperamental emotions, channel them into a ton of energy, and then go about tackling the ideas for new spell work she had envisioned.

If only it was that easy.

With a sweep of her hand she conjured up a powerful stream of water, and she directed it around the room, her eyes narrowed and the momentum of the water's movement became more powerful. Her heart was beating very fast and she felt an exhilaration, and she directed the water to go out the window, which it did with an earth shattering sound as it smashed through the window.

Then all of a sudden it was very still.

Well then, Rowan thought. At least she knew now she could give water an extra oomph.

Now she had to give it an edge.

* * *

She had ended up working steadily for two hours practising and experimenting until she had ended up sending herself flying backwards into a bookshelf and split her lip. How she managed to do that she didn't even know as she had flew backwards and smashed into the bookshelf, and her lips was on her face, not her back…she had tottered off to the Hospital Wing to get mended by Madam Pomfrey yet again and then trudged back to the Common Room. She was greeted by a gloomy silence as it appeared everyone was studying. Augh.

Rowan wasn't in the mood to be productive anymore. What she wanted to do was kicked off her shoes and crawl in her bed and sleep for about a week. She settled for marching into the Boys Dorm and bothering whoever was in there instead.

"Someone entertain me!" she announced dropping her bag with a thud and spreading her arms out wide.

No one answered.

Feeling a bit foolish Rowan lowered her hands and saw that there was no one there except for a lump under Sirius' bed covers. Raising her eyebrows she strolled over and poked the sleeping lump.

"Siriusssssssss," she whispered. No response. Of course. Like her, when Sirius slept, he couldn't be woken up for anything. He had to set five alarm clocks to be woken up and even then without his roommates he would never make it down to Breakfast on time.

"Sirius wake up!" she shook his shoulder.

His head moved and he cracked an eye open. With a sleepy grin that made Rowan want to laugh, he closed his eyes again.

"Oi!" she protested. Sirius snatched he wrist and mumbled, "Sirius is sleeeeppping. He is recharging."

"Well as much as I would love to recharge myself right now, my dorm is too emotionally charged, not that I'm complaining, but I'm bored. Play with me."

"And you say I'm a four year old," he muttered. "Just recharge here,"

"Pardon me,"

Sirius pulled back his comforter and patted the empty space beside him. "Nap, recharge whatever here. I'm too buggered to get up. I haven't slept in twenty-four hours,"

"Mate that's nothing. And the bed is made for one. It's too small." Rowan tugged her at her wrist.

"_You're_ small, shut up. Either you come and join me or shut up and leave me alone, and I say that in the nicest way possible." And with that Sirius closed his eyes again and turned over.

Rowan mentally underwent a furious argument with the voices in her head and after several long minutes she finally gave in and kicked off her shoes and shrugged off her school robes. Slipping gingerly beside him, Rowan flicked her hand toward the wide windows and closed the curtains as the sun was about to set.

She left a sliver of space between them and wriggled around trying to get comfortable and Sirius groaned and turned towards her. "Stop thrashing around, I'm trying to sleep!"

"I'm trying to get comfortable! You try sleeping in your school uniform." Rowan huffed.

"So go change into something more comfortable!"

"Then I'd have to go back to my dorm which is futile cos I might as well just sleep there!"

"Aaauuuuuugghhh, must you make everything so difficult?"

"I can go if you want," Rowan petulantly said already getting up, but Sirius slapped a hand over hers and firmly held it there.

"Hold on a minute there mate," Sirius reached blindly his bedside table and flung open a drawer. A few moments later he threw an old t-shirt and a pair of worn out pyjamas at her and Rowan pulled them off her face not amused.

"I won't look," Sirius huffed turning over.

Rowan quickly slipped out of her school uniform and pulled Sirius' clothes over her and then pulled the comforter over her. "Much better. Thank you."

"You're welcome. Now shaddup and go to sleep."

It took Rowan some time to go to sleep, her mind was still going 100 kilometres an hour as her thoughts raced against each other. But she enjoyed the softness of Sirius' clothes on her skin. She had always been a sucker for textures and his nightshirt was so worn out that it was unbelievably soft and she couldn't explain the peaceful feeling that came over her body.

At some point, Sirius turned over and slung an arm around her waist. She had initially frozen but then relaxed and found herself curling into him as she finally went to sleep.

* * *

Remus traipsed into the room just before dinner and then promptly stopped in his tracks. There was a girl's clothing discarded on the floor, besides Sirius' bed.

Oh good lord, Remus thought shutting his eyes and shaking his head. Then he opened his eyes and tiptoed to his own bed and dumped his things on it. Studying Sirius' bed more closely from his own, he recognised Rowan's schoolbag, with its numerous pins and badges.

Christ in a sidecar, he thought trying to process what this all meant.

He had no idea that Sirius and Rowan were officially an "item", and if they where, when the hell had this happened? And most importantly, why the hell did anyone not tell him?!

Remus was half in mind to dump a bucket of water over their heads and wake up demanding some answers but after a moment of gleefully debating this, he decided against it fear that one of them, or worse, both of them would be naked.

Not that there was anything wrong with being naked, and Rowan was a girl so it was kind of okay…okay it wasn't okay at all, but it'd still be better than having to see _Sirius_ naked, Remus shuddered and pushed those thoughts out of his head.

In the end he decided to do nothing and left the room, fully intent on divulging this scene to Marlene to see if she knew anything about it.\

Turns out, Marlene knew nothing about it.

"She was _what_?!" Marlene asked stunned, her fork frozen in mid-air. She gaped at Remus.

"She was in his bed! And her clothes were on the floor." Remus repeated.

"Wow! Okay I didn't even know they were a couple! Or maybe this is one of those mates with benefits things? Rowan and Sirius seem like the kind of people who would do that kind of thing…."

"Nah, I don't think Padfoot would go for a thing like that with Rowan, he loves her," James said thoughtfully spearing a roast potato.

Lily raised an eyebrow but said nothing. In the six months and twenty-seven days they had gone out, Lily had never told him that she loved him. She did, or rather she had, no she did, but she had never told him that and now, she thought sadly to herself, she never would.

"Well what the hell is Rowan playing at?" Marlene asked frustrated.

"She knows what she's doing, she's a big girl, and Sirius is a big boy and it's their lives, so we shouldn't make a big deal about it," Lily mildly commented.

Peter agreed and Remus muttered something. "Perhaps they were just sleeping. Last time I left Padfoot which was around four after lessons he had headed straight to bed. He hadn't slept in over a day, I think." James rifled through his Charms notes.

"Are you telling me Sirius, the one who all the girls chase after, would rather sleep rather than jump at a chance to bang the girl he's head over heels in love with?" Peter asked quizzically.

"Peter!" Lily reproachfully said, he shrugged and waved a hand.

"He might just have," James pointed his knife at him.

Remus and Marlene steered the conversation away from this topic of interest declaring that if Rowan and Sirius had anything to tell them, they would.

* * *

It turns out, Rowan and Sirius ended up sleeping for roughly seven and half hours. Rowan woke with a start and groaned out loud when she saw that the clock read half past eleven in the evening.

Crap. She hadn't meant to sleep for so long, she only wanted to take a nap.

However, funnily enough, she ended up getting the seven and half hours of the deepest sleep she had ever gotten the entire year. Rowan pondered this and shifted to study Sirius' still sleeping face.

Her eyes roved over his handsome features and then studied the tattoos that he had. He had slept shirtless and Rowan didn't mind or complain. Rowan wondered when and why, if he had any reasons, he had gotten his tattoos. In any case, it suited him right well and she liked them.

"Sirius, wake up, it's half past eleven,"

"Five more minutes," he mumbled as he nestled his head in the crook of her neck.

Rowan wrapped an arm around his shoulders and cuddled him closer to her, relishing the intimacy between them. That surprised her, the fact she was so ready to reciprocate the feelings of tenderness she had often seen in his eyes. She had never felt that way with her previous boyfriends. More often than not she was always the one pushing them away as she craved more space.

His arms tightened around her waist and she pressed her cheek against his silky hair. This was such a lovely feeling and for once, she was going to stop and not think and just enjoy it.

Five minutes later she tapped his nose. "Ok wake up sleepyhead. Five minutes is over and I'm hungry."

"Five more minutes," Sirius repeated not getting up.

"Sirius Black if you don't get up I will shove you off this bed," she warned already wriggling out of his arms.

He sighed and opened his eyes. Then he saw the clock and swore. "Fuck! Why'd we sleep for so long?"

"Coooooosss we hadn't slept the night before?"

"Bugger. We missed dinner," Sirius sat up and ran his hands through his hair.

"Shocker," she deadpanned stretching. Sirius eyed her intriguing build of muscles as the sleeve of his t-shirt that she wore fell back.

"Hey Ro, do you workout or something?" He asked.

She shot him a strange look. He flushed and hurriedly explained, "I just see that you have…some muscle. And you're so little. I'm curious."

"Or something. And I am _not_ little!" she commented retying her hair into a neat bun. Sirius couldn't resist but run his hand over her upper arms and his mouth dropped open. "Holy crap you have a lot of muscle! What the hell do you do? Are you a boxer or something?"

"Or something," she repeated again climbing gracefully out of bed. She shoved her school uniform into her bag and didn't say anything more.

""Fess up Ro. It's not a bad thing if you work out. Believe me, I like your muscles. I'm impressed." Sirius insisted.

Rowan spun on her heel and cocked her head. "I'm not one for organised team sports ok? I don't believe in organized anything for the matter, but I like taking care of myself and working out is fun. Kind of."

"So are you telling me you work out?" Sirius asked amused. He found this rather funny, Rowan was the last person on earth he'd expect to see sweating it out in the gymnasium.

"I suppose so." Rowan grumbled.

Sirius couldn't help but start laughing a bit at this. She looked at him with an annoyed expression. "It's not that ridiculous! Exercise is good for you!"

"I know that, but I just find it a bit hard picturing you in running shorts and running laps around the Quidditch pitch or lifting weights," he sniggered.

She frowned, "Exercise is more than just quidditch or weight lifting. There's yoga,"

"Yoga is not a real sport nor is it exercise!"

"Dancing, swimming, football, gymnastics—"

Sirius gave a great big snort, "PA HA! As if you could ever do gymnastics! Please Rowan, lets try and be realistic, I bet you can't even do a freaking cartwheel,"

Her scowl deepened. "Really now? How much?"

"I'm going to be generous and say five galleons. I'll ask James if he can be nice enough to fund me until I go rob Gringotts or something to pay him back until then,"

"Ok fine, five galleons. Move,"

Sirius hopped back on his bed and looked at her amusedly, then the grin was wiped off his face as she did not one, not two, but three cart wheels and a front handspring to finish it off.

"Holy fucking hell. Is there anything you can't do?" he asked stunned. Sirius did not know squat about gymnastics but he knew enough about sports to know that her technique was more than just good.

"Can't bring back the dead," she quipped shoving her feet back into her shoes. "Nor can I remember the words to the school song," she added as an afterthought. "You owe me five galleons mate,"

"How'd you? When'd you?" Sirius asked.

"Geez, try and use your brain and speak in full sentences. It's really not that hard," Rowan grinned.

"How the fuck do you know how to do that?" he demanded.

"You know how most girls, when we're munchkins we all go to those stupid ballet and gymnastics class, wanting to be all sparkly and pretty in that ridiculous tutu and what not and we tell our parents "I want to be a ballerina! I want to be a gymnast?" Yeah well, I went to both, I hated wearing a tutu and it turned out I wasn't too shabby at tumbling. But then again, how could you be bad at tumbling at four years old? Anyway, someone spotted me and told my parents that I had a lot of potential,"

"How does one have potential as a four year old?"

"Don't ask, I don't even know, anyway, one thing led to another and yeah. I was trained as a gymnast. My parents sent me away to train with the coaches full time. It was safer, they thought, for me to be away. In some ways it was, the government leaves you alone for the most part letting athletes train in peace. I didn't go to muggle school like most kids do before going to Hogwarts or whatever they do. I trained for up to six hours a day, six days a week and I lived there too in the hostel with the other girls. I was competing in the junior division before coming here."

"Betcha you won a lot," Sirius commented.

She shrugged. "I was good. But I wasn't brilliant. I still had a long way to go developing a personal style of performing and all that rubbish; it wasn't anything that excited me. But my parents really loved it and well, it's kind of Romania's thing. We're good at gymnastics, at figure skating, blahblahblah. My parents wanted me to mould me into a professional athlete. Athletes, especially gymnasts, are highly revered in Romania, and it doesn't matter what ethnicity you are. If you bring home a gold medal, you're set for life."

"A gold medal as in the the Wizarding Olympics?!" Sirius asked shocked.

"Yeah. The USSR wants to show the rest of the world that with it's model of government, that it can succeed and produce strong, clever, able people. Athletics has always been important over there. If we show potential, then they'll do a lot to groom us into something that will bring positive attention to the USSR on a world stage," she explained.

"Oh."

"Yeah. I left all of that behind though when I came here. Not that I mind though. Gymnastics, it's a beautiful sport, it really is, I just wasn't as passionate about it as my parents or coaches would have liked me to be. I enjoy messing around with magic more. Plus...I don't think I would have been able to withstand all the pressure they put on you as you get into your teens and start competing in the Senior Division. I would have turned out to be a very person from who I am today if I hadn't stopped training I think."

"But you still practice," Sirius pointed out.

"It's a good way to keep myself in shape. Plus. Well. I don't know. It kind of empties out my head. Old habits die hard I suppose."

"So wait, when do you practice?" He was confused.

"When the rest of the school is in lesson, or sleeping. I go down to the locker rooms of the Quidditch pitch and just duck into the gymnasium. They have floor mats and such so I just tumble around really. I was never any good on the balance beam anyway. I think I broke my angle at least three times trying to master that stupid thing. Hated the balance beam. You know that thing is only a mere four inches wide? Ridiculous."

"How long do you practice for? "I still can't believe you work out though, I need to see it to believe it!""

" Never gonna happen mate. I like to exercise, _alone._ Sometimes it can be two hours, sometimes it can be half an hour. Really depends on my mood you know,"

"Everything depends on your mood," he muttered.

"That it does. It's a problem. So is being impulsive. Big, big problem."

"Why is being impulsive a problem?" He raised an eyebrow.

"Because it makes me go and do this," she kissed him hard and tugged at his hair.

"Being impulsive appears to be a brilliant thing," he remarked as he bent down to kiss her again.

"No! if I do this all day, I will flunk my examinations and then everything will go to pot. So yes, being impulsive is a big problem. So are you."

"Why am I a problem?!" Sirius asked miffed.

"Because you're you, and you go around looking all snoggable and all that,"

"Snoggable? Am I not shagg-able?"

"Well that too, but the point is, either way you're a problem because you distract me and make me not want to study, something that I can't really afford to do right now, plus the fact that you make me feel like a complete and utter moron and I don't really enjoy feeling like that either,"

"Why on earth do _I_ make _you_ feel like a moron?" Now Sirius was really confused.

"Because,"she gave him her little half smile before kissing him once more, "I like you way too much for my own fucking good," she said before ducking out of the dorm.

* * *

_A/N: Hope you liked the Sirius and Rowan goodness in this chapter. Keep in mind that there some information thrown in this chapter that will play a bigger part later on. **I'd love if you could review! xoxoxoxo**_


	47. A Comical Misunderstanding

_A/N: Thanks to all your wonderful support and reviews, I love hearing from you lot. This chapter is shorter than the previous couple of chapters, but then again those were super long chapters and I don't usually scribble that length out most of the time...anyway, hope you enjoy this one even it's a little shorter_

* * *

They ended up sneaking down to the kitchens where they ate a late, late dinner or a very early breakfast, depending on how you looked at it and then hunkered down in the Common Room to study once again. Armed with quilts, their books and snacks in case they got hungry again, they met the rest of the group by the couches.

"Evening," Rowan greeted plopping down a couch.

"Hey," James yawned and rumpled his hair.

Remus gave the two of them a clever look. "So are we not going to talk about it?" he asked sarcastically.

Rowan and Sirius gave him confused looks. "Pardon?" Sirius asked.

"Oh come on! This is huge!" Peter exclaimed.

"What is?" Rowan asked.

"Is it?" Marlene asked alluding to something entirely. Lily shoved an elbow in her ribs and dissolved into a fit of laughter.

"Sirius you're a pig and a doofus!" Remus slapped the back of his head.

"Ow! Hey what the hell are you going on about?" Sirius cried utterly bamboozled.

"Do you really honestly think we'd let you two get away with this? First our two best mates become a couple and then you guys do it!"

"You guys got back together?" Rowan exclaimed grabbing Lily's shoulders.

"You did it?!" Sirius asked floored.

"No! _You_ did!" James flailed his arms around.

"Who did?" Rowan repeated very confused.

"YOU DID!" Peter shouted stamping his foot.

"Did what?"

"You know…you did _it_." James gave them a meaningful look.

It took the two of them a minute and then Rowan's eyes grew as big as teacup saucers.

"Oh my god! No! What the fuck are you talking about?" She cried wringing her hands.

"Remus went into the dorm and saw _your_ clothes on the floor and _you_ two in bed," Marlene pointed a finger.

It was a good thing they were the only ones in the Common Room because all of a sudden there was a barrage of noise as everyone started talking very loudly and swearing.

"Hey!" Lily said. "HEY!" she shouted. She waved her wand and silenced them all.

The six them glared at her. She calmly responded, "Let the perpetrators explain themselves." And with that she sat down looking quite stern and regal at the same time.

"Okay. Well. Erm. Well. We took a nap. That's all." Rowan squirmed.

"For seven and half hours?!" James snorted.

"Well it's not that we intended to sleep for that long…"

"So you two…just slept?" Remus asked disbelievingly.

"Yeap." Sirius affirmed.

"Are you sure? I mean it's you two," Peter sniggered.

Rowan looked a little offended. "Oi what's the supposed to mean?"

"No offence Ro, but it's not you're like the…innocent crayon in the box." He said giving her a sharp look.

Rowan's eyes narrowed and her demeanour became a little frosty. "My body, my life. There's nothing wrong with being comfortable with your sexuality."

The group instantly noticed the coolness to her and eyed Peter warily. Wrong move Petie boy, James thought.

Lily shifted gears and asked bluntly, "So are you two a couple now? It only took you…oh I don't know a bazillion years to get your act together…"

"No we're not a couple," Rowan corrected.

"What!?" Remus sputtered.

"And you're ok with this Padfoot?" James inquired giving Sirius an inquisitive look.

Sirius shrugged. "This isn't the ideal situation but we agreed that with only four weeks till NEWT's we shouldn't distract ourselves, I mean, it is our futures we're talking about."

James looked mightily impressed. His boy was nearly all grown up!

"And then what? You have two weeks left of school!" Lily exclaimed.

"Two weeks is better than no weeks. Besides, who said that just because school ends, so does everything else? You guys seriously don't think we're never going to see each other again right?" Rowan shook her head with a bemused smile on her face.

"'Course not. Sure we might not see each other everyday but it's not like we're never going to see ever again. That's what pubs are for!" Marlene grinned.

Lily lowered her eyes and didn't say anything. She didn't realise that was an option. She didn't know that there were other options besides seeing each other every day and not seeing each other every day.

Rowan privately thought there was another reason they'd still be hanging around each other after finishing school but she didn't say anything for now. They'd find out soon enough.

After Sirius had kissed her a couple of weeks ago, they had had a serious conversation where Rowan admitted that she cared for him more than as a mate but like she told him before, she was not on the same page as him yet and was still a few pages behind.

But she had assured him that when she was on the same page and ready to give him her full attention and not half ass things, she would let him know.

Sirius had privately thought that this was his personal hell, that he was two steps from falling over into Dante's Sixth level of Hell, but he understood her reasons and agreed on the fact that NEWTs were a more pressing matter. The fact that he was in love with her made him swear an oath but he manfully kept his temper and said he'd wait.

The fact that he would continue to wait until she was ready was a testament to just how much he cared for her and the fact that Rowan told him that she didn't want to keep him waiting forever for her because it was stupid and he ought to live his life and he had loudly talked over this suggestion showed how much their persona's had evolved since they first became mates.

"You two are absolutely off your rocker," Remus shook his head. Marlene chuckled and came around him and pressed a kiss to his temple.

"There's a lot of different types of love Remy, theirs is just different," she whispered. Remus grumbled but she shut him up by kissing him.

"Ok you lot get a stinkin room," Peter rolled his eyes.

"Actually I'm pretty buggered, I'm gonna go to bed. Let's go Lillian," Marlene ushered Lily up the Girls Staircase. The boys bided Sirius and Rowan good night leaving the pair of them alone yet again.

"So…..all-nighter?" Sirius stretched out on the couch.

"Looks like it, now shutsky upsky," Rowan threw a cushion at him as she made herself comfortable for the long haul.

* * *

At around half past five in the morning, Rowan tottered up the stairs and staggered into her dorm exhausted. As nice as it was studying with Sirius' head resting in her lap and all that, it was a little distracting and she hadn't been as productive as she had hoped. Plus she was just so tired.

Rowan was very surprised to see Lily sitting on the window seat in her pyjamas staring desolately out of the window.

"Lily?" she asked softly not wanting to disturb Marlene's sleep.

She turned and Rowan felt a part of her heart break seeing the tear tracks on Lily's pale face. In the silvery light of moon, she looked like a ghost, almost ethereal.

"You know, you're really pretty when you cry," Rowan commented coming closer to her.

Lily made a funny noise that was half laugh half sob and she wiped her face. "Thanks…"

Rowan sat down beside her and gave her a quiet look. "Lillian."

Lily knew that Rowan only used her full name whenever she was joking or when she was very serious and this time, she knew Rowan was serious as hell. "I just…miss him."

"I know."

"I thought after a few weeks or so I'd stop feeling so weepy, I know you're fed up with me crying all the time…"

"Hey, that's not true, I just hate seeing you so…sad but this is something that comes with breaking up. We all handle it different ways. Plus it's you and James."

"See what does that mean? Ever since day one everyone is all 'It's you and James, you two are meant to be" all that bloody rubbish and augh!" Lily raked her hand through her messy hair.

"Well…we kind of mean it. You two are really good together. But I don't think people are meant to be together…I don't believe in fate or destiny. I think that if two people want to be together, they work really hard to be together and make it work." Rowan said rubbing her eyes.

"Like you and Sirius?" Lily asked tilting her head.

"I suppose," Rowan shrugged. "I mean god knows what the hell he sees in my and why he wants to ruin his life with wanting to date me, but god help me, I care for him too and I'm going to do my best to make things work the best they can when I'm ready too."

Lily smiled. "You've really grown since your first real relationship with Gideon."

"I guess this is what evolution or growing up feels like…"

"I hate this," Lily muttered.

"I think I may have something that help you feel better, hold on," Rowan stepped away and opened her trunk. Rummaging through a bunch of junk, she finally found what she was looking for.

"A cigarette?" Lily said staring at the one Rowan offered.

"There's a reason why I hide these things. They're good for when you're sloshed, high, moody, or sad. But not good otherwise."

"Plus they make your fingers stink even after washing your hands ten thousand times," Lily added but taking it anyway. Rowan handled her a muggle lighter and took a cigarette herself. Lily gave her a cynical look. "What? It's nice to smoke in good company too."

They opened in the window and Lily shivered slightly. Even though it was nearly the end of May, it was still nippy in the early mornings.

The two of them smoked quietly, and Lily watched the smoke curl and disappear into the air.

It was so transient, so elusive, so fleeting. She loved it.

Lily didn't smoke habitually, neither did Rowan, but they often kept a pack of cigarettes stashed away for moments like these. She had smoked her first cigarette when she was fifteen and she didn't find it particularly interesting or cool, plus it really did make her fingers stink like anything. But as time went on, and when Rowan broke up with Gideon, Lily found herself in the same exact spot she was in now, offering Rowan a cigarette and sitting quietly.

She used to smoke once or twice during her summer vacations after Petunia had been particularly horrible to her, climbing out on to her roof late at night and staring up at the stars, wishing that Rowan were there to keep her company. Instead she smoked a cigarette because it reminded Lily of her and that was enough.

Both of them had made a promise to each other that they would never become addicted to cigarettes and they would only smoke them if they were sloshed, high (or in Rowan's case, if she was high), sad, or it was an emotional emergency.

She decided this was an emotional emergency and took another drag.

"Hey Lily?" Rowan asked quietly.

"Yeah?"

"Did you love him?"

A pause.

Then Lily said half regrettably, "Yeah. I did. Or I do. Did? Do? In any case…I never even got to tell him,"

"Oh Lily…" Rowan clasped a hand over hers.

She shrugged. "It's done. We're done. And that was it. But for what it was, it was really nice. Really, really, nice actually. In fact, for a first real, proper relationship, James was a pretty damn good first," Lily thoughtfully said.

Rowan smiled. "Yeah, he's a really good bloke,"

"He's the best," Lily corrected absent-minded.

Rowan really wanted to ask why the heck they broke up in the first place but knew Lily wasn't going to tell right now so she settled for keeping her company instead.

"Well at least after NEWT's I'll have a lot of time to figure out who I am as a person on my own…and we're going to go to America for two months and that'll be fun. Just you, me and a whole summer of freedom and being on the road…"

"Armed with a copy of _On the Road_ of course," Rowan added.

"And then after that hopefully get into my Healer Apprenticeship and yeah! Just focus on me. I'm eighteen goddamn years old, I need to be free and I don't need anything to tie me down."

"Careful Lils, you're sounding a lot like me," Rowan teased.

"I do want to be more like you! You're so free, you don't give a damn about anything and don't need anything or anyone!"

"There's a difference between being independent and a lone wolf and there's a fine line between it." Rowan dryly remarked.

"And even though you and Sirius are pseudo together, you're both really…I don't know. So in and out with each other, you both have lives outside of each other and he lets you be."

"It's cos we've been mates for so long and we understand how we work as individuals." Rowan said thinking over the years.

"Yeah…in any case. I think you two are good for each other. You two are both pretty." Lily grinned.

Rowan flushed and mumbled something, stubbing out her finished cigarette. With a snap of her fingers she made it disappear seeing as if any teacher found a cigarette butt on the grounds they'd go nuts.

"Yeah well. Hopefully I won't screw him over too bad," Rowan said more seriously.

Lily appraised her with solemn eyes. "You won't. You care about him too much."

"And how do you know that?"

"You can see it in the way you look at him," Lily simply replied.

Rowan flushed even harder and rubbed her eyes. "Great. Now I'm a class A sap."

"No, you're just someone whose in love," Lily corrected.

Something flashed in Rowan's eyes."Potato, po-tah-toe." Rowan waved a hand.

* * *

_A/N: And yes, I know I'll get some grief about the two of them smoking but it's England during the late 1970's_. _Even now, people smoke a lot more than they do in the US. Anyway, I hope to update sooner rather than later, **I'd love if you could review! xoxoxo**_


	48. Choosing Allegiances

_A/N: **Thank you those of you who faithfully review each chapter**, no matter how long or how short, you have no idea how much I appreciate it. I tell myself I want to update sooner rather than later but then things just come up and ugh it turns out to be later :( I need to work on that. Anyway, here you go!_

* * *

Regulus Black swore and hurled his Alchemy book across the room where it hit the bookcase with a thud.

Ever since that fateful and terrible day where Rowan had told him that they weren't mates any more, Regulus had been in a terrible mood. He and Snape had stopped talking all together and Regulus had taken on to wearing a brooding, scowling face most of the time.

Apparently, this brooding look of despair seemed to make him more alluring, because more girls than usual had been trying to corner him in the last month or so. Or perhaps it was due to the fact or the rumour that had spread across the school like wildfire that his brother was more or less off the market thanks to Miss Rowan Forlani herself.

He despised her. He wished her to hell and back again.

He absolutely hated her.

Okay, that wasn't entirely true.

He missed her.

And now, Merlin forbid him, he liked her.

He could have thrown himself off the Astronomy Tower for this.

He, Regulus Arcturus Black, was a class A idiot.

But right now he despised her because he was absolutely, utterly miserable.

She had stopped showing up to Friday night's duelling clubs session and Regulus had stopped going as well after he sent some misfortunate fifth year Hufflepuff sailing through the air from a miscast spell.

Then he felt absolutely shattered when he saw her walking with his brother, his brother had his arm around her shoulders and they were arguing animatedly. They had been walking around the corner disappearing out of site but he didn't miss the affectionate look she had given his brother.

He used to hotly deny that he liked her in any way other than a mate but in the last four weeks or so, he had realised, with a sinking heart that he did indeed think of her as more than as a mate.

She was just so bloody infuriating and that made him like her even more.

Too bad she wouldn't even look at him nowadays.

He sighed and flopped facedown on his bed and gripped his pillow. He wanted to tear it to shreds but that would be no good.

That's it, he decided sitting up. He needed to stop acting like a heartbroken girl and man up. He needed to talk to her.

Grabbing a scrap piece of parchment and a handsome eagle quill (that she had quietly given him for a Christmas present goddamn her), he scribbled out something and then set his jaw to march to the Owlery first thing in the morning.

Until then, he snatched up a packet of cigarettes and moodily took out one to smoke.

Regulus, god bless him and his flaws, was a habitual smoker. No one knew. How he managed to hide it, even astounded him sometimes. His brother didn't smoke, not that he know of and his parents absolutely abhorred the habit. His father preferred fine booze.

Regulus liked dirt cheap cigarettes instead. He didn't care too much for alcohol.

He got a secret thrill foraging into the strange muggle world to find the cheapest cigarettes in London. Sure, he could probably go into Diagon Alley or other magical places or corners, but there was no fun in that!

OK. Yeah, he didn't care too much for muggles and he found them bizarre as hell and he hated the idea of muggles and magical people mixing, but the muggle world was like a drug. It was bad for you (in his opinion), but it was interesting and it was addicting observing how the fuck they functioned without magic.

If Rowan was still talking to him, and he had the guts to confess this to her, he would find himself becoming increasingly intriguing (and perhaps attractive) to her.

But she wasn't so he'd never know and he'd have to watch her ride off on the flying motorbike his brother dreamed of having, all lovey dovey off into the bloody pinky, yellow sunset with her hands around his waist…

Oh god. What if they got married?

That would be terrible. That would be even worse than going into the Forbidden Forest in the dark. Alone.

And she'd be wearing a big old fancy white dress and look like a goddamn queen in and it, not that he would ever know because he's pretty sure he'd never in a bazillion years be invited to the funeral from hell (the wedding) and augh. Just augh.

He shut his eyes and tried to clear those disturbing images from his head.

What was more disturbing was the fact that he was actually panicking about the mere idea that Rowan and Sirius being together. He shouldn't be panicking about it because he did not like her.

No he did not.

He had a crush on her.

And a crush was a fleeting, transient thing that would pass. It would go.

A crush was something that had to be squashed out. Immediately.

He squashed out the glowing end of his now finished cigarette.

* * *

The next day Rowan swore when an envelope bonked her on the forehead as the daily mail came. With NEWTs being less than three weeks away everyone twitched at the slightest thing. Rowan considered the school to very lucky that they had not incurred her wrath or any of the classrooms had spontaneously combusted.

"Nervous much? Peter grinned.

She said something unprintable and proceeded to rip open the envelope. Sirius chuckled and then studied her expression as he watched it grow stonier and stonier.

"Bad news love?"

"Or something like that," she muttered stuffing the letter in her robe pocket.

Rowan tuned herself out as the other chattered about. Inwardly she fumed and mentally punched the crap out of Regulus fucking Black.

The bastard.

Now he wanted to _talk_ to her. He says he needs to see her. To explain things.

Like hell.

In her mind there was nothing to explain. He had inadvertently sold her out and put her life on the line. He made what she considered the ugliest thing on earth (besides spiders) step foot in her home.

He could go to Dante's seventh level of hell in her opinion. She hoped that she'd land somewhere up in the third or fourth level if she was lucky and whoever ran the world decided to be lenient when it came to her sins.

_Please, if you could just give one chance, please, meet me up in the Astronomy Tower at around our usual time. I'll wait for you. And if you don't come, I swear to god, I will keep bothering you until you do. R._

The nerve of the little bugger.

When she crumpled his letter into her pocket, she imagined she was crumpling his head.

Fuck fuck fuck fuckity fuck fuck fuck.

* * *

Those were also some of the words that were running through some of the Seventh Years from assorted Houses as they sat in Dumbledore's office one Friday evening.

Marlene sat down and twisted her hands in her laps, scanning the faces of other people who were them. Of course, she recognized her ex-boyfriend, Caradoc Dearborn. Then there was his best mate, Benjy Fenwick.

Emmeline Vance smiled and Marlene nodded in return, she also vaguely remembered Frank and Alice Longbottom. If she remembered correctly, they recently got married.

Then there was Fabian and Gideon who were leaning against a railway talking to dark-haired young man who looked lot like Rowan and she remembered he must be other older brother, Kol.

Her thoughts were confirmed when Sirius shook his hand delightedly and inquired how he was.

There were some other faces she remembered, Dorcas Meadowes, a fellow blonde like her who had passed out last year, Sturgis Podmore who was about three years older than them and a few others.

Marlene, Lily and the Marauders had received an invitation (in a right well fancy envelope too) sometime in the past week all saying that they were invited to for a meeting in Dumbledore's office. It didn't say why or give any information as to why he required their presence and they had been very befuddled at this. They were even more confused that the six of them had received a letter, but not Rowan.

She had merely shrugged it waved it off. Rowan had a mighty good inkling as to what this invitation might be related to and her suspicions were confirmed when she was requested in his office ten minutes earlier than everyone else was due.

So that was why she was standing next to her brother with Fabian and Gideon. Gideon had given her an easy grin upon seeing her and she returned it with a friendly hug. Rowan was glad they managed to stay on good terms even after breaking up. Sirius gave her a keen look but she didn't give him any hint of what was going to go on tonight.

"I'm sure you're all wondering why I've asked you to come and meet with me tonight…" Dumbledore began talking. Rowan turned herself out as she had heard all of this before.

"…I am extending an invitation to all of you sitting here to join forces to try and stop the evil that is Lord Voldemort…"

She slid a look at Kol who understood exactly what she thinking. He leaned against a wall and studied the Headmaster with a sharp expression.

After Stefan and Milosh had met with Dumbledore a few months ago, with Rowan in tow, Dumbledore had asked them to send in Kol as well so he could ask him to join the Order. Kol had debated this is for a good month or two before deciding to accept and become apart of the Order. But he figured that at nineteen, it was about time he gave his life a greater purpose other than selling books at an old bookshop, tripping on LSD and travelling. It was about the bigger picture, the greater good.

So now, brother and sister had pledged their lives to a cause well worth fighting for and their family members couldn't be more proud of them.

"One thing I would like to make very clear is…if you decide to join us, you must understand that your lives will be at stake." Dumbledore gravely said.

A feeling of anxiousness seeped into the room. Lily fidgeted in her seat not wanting to say anything. All she could think of was "we could die."

"We could die," Benjy finally voicing the thought that was going through nearly everyone's minds.

"Yes, you could die," Frank Longbottom said with a wan smile.

"Die? As in…dead, dead?" Sirius asked.

"Well what kind of other dead is there mate?" James asked dryly.

Some nervous chuckles broke the tension. Rowan resisted the urge to smile and roll her eyes. That James Potter. Always remedying uncomfortable situations.

"To put it shortly, yes you could very well die." Dumbledore affirmed.

"But to stand and do nothing, that's just as bad as committing the evil that Lord Voldemort is committing," the Headmaster said strongly.

"What's the percentage of us actually living through this?" Caradoc asked looking overwhelmed.

"To be honest, not great but what are you gonna do about it? Fabian grinned.

Rowan bit her tongue and Kol shook his head. Trust Fabian as well to make a joke out of a serious situation.

"It's a cause worth dying for," Rowan said in an even voice. This was the first thing she had said in over an hour.

Sirius and James twisted around and looked up at her. Her eyes were fathomless and her face gave away nothing.

"Do not feel pressured to give me answer right away. I know you have your NEWT's coming up so you can give me answer after you finish them. You must decide whether or not you want to make such sacrifices. If you are not, that is perfectly fine, you will not be judged for anything less than you are."

That last sentence struck a nerve in everyone and it would be a painful reminder to them for many of their short-lived lives.

"What about after graduation? We've been studying for our NEWT's hoping to go work…" Emmeline asked hesitantly.

"Being apart of the order is a full time job and I'm sorry but it doesn't pay anything. Instead you'll be working along side some of the Aurors from the Ministry. You'd be undergoing training and that kind of sorts before embarking on some of the tasks we'd set for you."

"Training?" Benjy echoed.

"You don't think we'd send you out unprepared to combat dark magic do you?" A man with a purple top hat raised an eyebrow. His name was Dedalus Diggle.

Some murmurs were made but Rowan leaned forward over the rail gauging people's reactions. She wondered what they were thinking.

Sirius was wondering the same exact thing. He was curious as to why Rowan was set apart from the other people who had been invited. He casted a look in her direction and he saw the hard, fierce expression that he saw whenever she was working on magic or go head to head with someone who was screwing with her. To be honest, he saw it a lot on her face.

Sometimes he seriously wondered why the heck Rowan had never tried out for the Quidditch team. She would have made a terrific beater, he thought, because of her notorious temper. But then in retrospect, he realised that perhaps one of the reasons why she never engaged in any sports was because of her personality, she liked being on her own a lot.

Sirius didn't need two weeks to make his decision. Seeing her face reminded him of the fact that there's a lot more to life than just filtering out into the working world. And it's not like his family would care, in fact, this would just be the cherry on top in shoving it in their faces that he was not like them. Another plus.

And, to be honest, Sirius was equally hot-headed and well, there was a certain romantic notion of fighting for a cause you believed in, combating evil and all that yadda yadda yadda. He wanted to be apart of something, he didn't want to sit on the sidelines and coast through life on his good looks. He wanted to do something. Anything.

"I'm in." He said.

There was a very pregnant pause and Sirius shifted in his seat. He couldn't see her, but Rowan had a small smile on her face. Atta boy.

Dumbledore surveyed him for a moment. "Are you sure Mr. Black? You have time to decide—"

"I don't need time. This is what I want to do. Sign me up." Sirius cut in brusquely. Once he had set his mind, there was no turning back for him.

The Headmaster looked at him once more but then smiled, pushing a piece of parchment forward. On it was several signatures. Towards the end he could see Rowan's elegant signature.

So _that's_ why she was sitting with them in the powwow, he realised. She had already gone up and joined. The little prize fighter, he thought.

"Count me in too Headmaster," James decided. If Sirius was going to give up his life, by god, so would he.

"Looks like you're stuck with me too," Marlene spoke up. As much as she wanted to go and travel all over the world working as a Curse Breaker for Gringotts, she felt that this was more important. And if her mates were going to put their life on the line, then she was gonna die with them, she decided.

"Nice," James high-fived her and she laughed as she scribbled down her name.

Remus internally sighed. His girlfriend had cheerfully signed up without a beat. Guess he was jumping ship too. "I want to fight too," he said quietly motioning for the parchment. Besides, he reasoned, Voldemort would probably make life a living hell for people who were werewolves or half-breeds all together. One more reason to fight him.

Lily and Peter were still unsure. Lily was determined not to look at James. He was _not _going to be the deciding factor in this.

This was her life, damnit. This was her life she was talking about and ok. There was a part of her that was very scared of the fact, that well, she could die.

As Jack Kerouac would say, Lily was "_eighteen, and most lovely, and most lost_,". She didn't really know what she wanted to do with her life. Even being a Healer was something she wasn't sure of anything any more. She used to be someone who knew exactly what she wanted to do with her life.

Out all of her mates, Lily was the most practical, the most pragmatic. She always had the answered. Always. She had always had the answers to what she wanted to do with her life.

And then all of a sudden she didn't have the answers of what she wanted to do any more because, well, she didn't _want_ to have the answers. Having everything planned out was burdensome and tiring and stressful.

Lily wasn't sure of who she was any more and didn't really want to find out any time soon. However this changed things.

All of a sudden, most of her mates seemed to have grown up in a matter of minutes by signing their names to this piece of parchment. That piece of parchment would damn their lives forever in the long run.

It was almost as if you wanted to have a death wish if you signed up for this taco stand, Lily thought irritably.

No, screw that, you did have a death wish upon you. Either that or you really wanted the Grim to stalk you until the day you dropped dead on the spot. In some kind of ways, signing up for this was like having The Grim be at your side at all times.

Her mates, had essentially signed their death wishes.

So she supposed, she would too, she thought ruefully. If Rowan and Marlene were going to dance with death then so would she.

Lily motioned to sign and Caradoc handed it to her. Mentally swearing a blue streak she signed her name and then returned it to Dumbledore. However Peter took it from her hands before it reached the desk.

With a mildly frustrated, half regretful look, Peter scribbled out his name too. Then he handed it back to Dumbledore.

There was an eerie, heavy feeling to the air as they sat revelling in the aftermath of what they had just done. Rowan and Kol each had a glint in their eyes as they looked down at the newest members.

Both them felt that a little different than the others because they weren't as terrified as dying or risking their lives. They had grown up in turmoil and experienced first hand the suffocation of terror, intimidation and brutal laws that were enforced in Romania. This had played an important factor in all of her siblings as they grew up. There was a hardness to each of them that they had unable to let go of, a feeling of burning hostility towards society in general because of how they had been screwed over just for being a different ethnicity.

Kol was not a people person. He was a loner and only had a few good mates and preferred to keep it that way. How Rowan managed to be around six people all the time astounded him. He could barely stand himself, and that was on a good day.

Sirius and James often teased Rowan for being too independent, living a lone wolf existence to the extreme but what they didn't know was that was all of her siblings were like too. They grew up in tough conditions and so they became tough themselves. They believed in survival of the fittest to the T and if someone got left behind, well that was that.

It's what made her older brothers, Stefan and Milosh such good fighters back in Romania. They didn't give a shit about anyone else except themselves and what their task was. If you couldn't handle it, then you got left behind and that was it.

In the long run, this survivalist that was embedded in Rowan and Kol would lead to serious trouble for the Order of the Phoenix and would make Rowan commit some very ambiguous acts of magic that would shake her to the very core.

But for now, the two of them were perfectly content in stepping up to the task of trying to bring the biggest egomaniac on the planet down a notch or two.

* * *

"What. Did. We. Just. Do?" Peter asked still a little stunned an hour later.

They were situated in the Common Room surrounded by their books yet again. Rowan however was still in Dumbledore's office for reasons no one knew of. That left the six of them to go over and over of the biggest decision they had just made of their lives.

"I think. _I think_, we may have just signed our death warrant," James replied sarcastically.

"At least it's for a good cause," Sirius pointed out draping himself over the armrest of a chair.

"It's for a damn good cause. You lot ought to be proud of yourself for joining," Rowan's voice said as she appeared out of nowhere.

James and Remus whipped their heads and she plopped down beside them. "You knew about this before didn't you?"

"Yeap. Dumbledore asked me after Voldy Moldy made that damn house call…anyway. What's the with the long faces? You guys did have time to decide whether or not you wanted to sign up for this or not."

"I don't regret it at all," Sirius broke in firmly.

"Rowan has it ever occurred to you that we could die?" Lily asked cynically.

"Lillian has it ever occurred to you that I've already been two steps away from death?" Rowan shot back. "It doesn't faze me. People die. Yeah. That's life."

"You're so cavalier about this."

"You have to be if you want the best shot of surviving," Rowan said in an even tone.

"I'm going to bed," Lily huffed gathering up her things and storming up the Girl's Staircase.

Rowan didn't say anything but watched Lily's back get smaller and smaller.

Lately Lily had crossed over from being silently sad all the time to just plain pissed off all the time. Rowan and Marlene supposed this was better than her crying. But then the downside was that Lily would explode at the smallest things. Marlene and Rowan did not like that at all but there was nothing you could do about it.

"Well if we've signed up for this, then why the heck do we still need to take NEWTs? It's not like we're going to have careers after this," Peter waved a hand.

"We ought to be able to get out of taking those damn exams," Sirius agreed.

"No can do amigo. Those NEWT's basically say that you're a certified, witch or wizard, that you're like…legally competent to perform magic." Remus said wearily.

"We have to be legally certified to perform magic? What a joke." Rowan snorted.

"Says you Miss Seven Outstanding OWLs," James poked her.

"I don't believe that magic or smartness or competence should not be measured by grades or standard testing. People are smart in different ways." Rowan began hotly.

"Oh _god_ not again. We are not going to get into this argument again," Sirius groaned.

Rowan had always firmly believed that tests, quizzes, examinations were a waste of time and she felt it was unfair to students who couldn't study well or retain information well. She often argued this over with Remus which meant that Sirius and James often overheard this argument.

She often would repeat that what was the point of memorizing the material only to write it down on a piece of parchment and then forget it and not understand how to apply it or use it? There was a difference between knowing and understanding how things worked.

They had heard this so often that it had become a mantra for her, or almost a catch phase for her. "Knowledge is power" she'd often say.

"Fine I won't bore you to death with it,"

"Trust me I'd like to die in a more interesting way than that being bored to death with a useless argument."

"IT'S NOT USELESS!"

"NO WE'RE NOT GETTING INTO THIS!" Sirius shouted clamping his hands over his ears.

"You two are perfect for each other," Marlene muttered.

* * *

Regulus swore a blue streak and wanted to bang his forehead against balcony of the Astronomy Tower. Instead he opted for sending a good deal of sparks out of the end of his wand into the air. What he really wanted to do was throw his wand or himself off the Astronomy Tower, but both of those options weren't terribly appealing.

He was in a foul mood. The day had started off all wrong.

First, he had woken up with the most annoying song stuck in his head, "_I've got a lovely bunch of coconut_s."

That song was stuck in his head, on repeat, _all day._

Then he had missed lunch AND dinner because he was behind on homework having been too emotionally distressed to give two fucks about it in the last fortnight.

And now, his arse was frozen against the balcony.

Awesome. His life, was awesome.

She wasn't going to come, he realised with a poignant note of despair. He had been waiting for nearly over two hours, freezing his butt out here as the night steadily went on. Sure it was nearly June now, but it still got chilly at night because it was goddamn England where it was nearly always cold, he thought savagely.

_I need to move to a tropical country. No wait, just a hot country, with no humidity. Dry heat. Dry, dry, heat. _

He resignedly turned away from the balcony and nearly had a heart attack.

"You've got five minutes to explain whatever sad, pathetic excuse you've got before I tell you to fuck off for good." Rowan quietly said. She crossed her arms over her chest and gave him a fierce look.

The amount of hostility in her eyes that was directed towards him nearly made him recoil.

Clearly, she did not want to be here.

But she was and he had probably less than five minutes now.

"Rowan, please listen to me, I am so sorry. I didn't mean to send the Dark Lord to you. I didn't think that Snape would go and tell him about you. Jesus Rowan, I'm so sorry. Please, just talk to me, please." Regulus was close to going down on his knees right about now.

Rowan gave him a cold look. "Good bye Regulus," she said finally before making to turn away.

"Rowan, wait," Regulus grabbed her hand and wrenched her back towards him.

"Let go of my hand,"

"Not until you talk to me," he pleaded.

"I just did."

"Say something else! Fuck Rowan I've been bloody miserable for the past two months. You won't even look at me." He cried.

"I have nothing to say to you any more. Look Regulus, we're different people with very different ideas on what's good and what's bad. Besides, you're a death eater."

"And that's why we can't be friends with each other?"

"You and I were never really friends to begin with." She said with exquisite diction.

Regulus felt something inside him burst. Then he realised that it was his poor excuse for a heart that suddenly hurt a lot.

He promptly let go of her hand and then took a step back from her.

There was a heavy silence between the two of them and Rowan swiped a stray lock of hair from her cheek.

"Look Regulus…. we're different people and we've chosen our respected paths. You've chosen to be a Death Eater. And I've chosen not to associate myself with Death Eaters."

"You didn't seem to care about that before,"

"That's before your fucking bitch came uninvited to my house!" Rowan snarled.

"Hey! How dare you call the Dark Lord that he is—" Regulus shouted but Rowan started talking over him.

"He is a poor excuse for something less than human," Rowan said with such disdain.

Regulus looked at her with angry eyes. Rowan shifted her weight on her feet and then said, "Look this is the thing Black."

Augh. She called him Black. It was official; she really wanted nothing to do with him.

"This is the one thing you need to know about me, I'm the nicest person to you until you fuck with me. You fuck with me, I will fuck you over ten times worse. In the end, you will have wished you had never, ever seen me." Rowan said in scary calm voice.

"And do yourself a favour, tell all your fellow death eaters that too, and don't you forget it. Because guess what love? I'm gonna be coming after you, each every one of you fuckers, and you lot won't know what'll hit you." Rowan said the last part in a low, menacing tone.

Things had suddenly gotten, very, very, serious.

"So consider yourself warned Black. You'd best want nothing to do with me from now on. Cos I sure as hell want nothing to do with you." She spat at him.

"So this is it? We're just never going to talk to each other ever again?" Regulus asked.

"Unless you'd like me to kill you, then no. And I say that in the nicest way possible."

"Fine. If that's how you want it to be,"

"That's just how it's going to be. We each chose our respective paths."

He didn't say anything. He felt hollow and sad and wanted to crawl under the bed and sleep for a long time.

Something must have betrayed his emotions because Rowan studied him with an unreadable expression. Then she said, "The only time, and I mean this in all seriousness, that you can ever contact me again is if you're in real, big trouble. As in a life or death situation. Then maybe I'll talk to you. But that's it. Otherwise, fuck off Black." And with that she strode away from him.

Regulus watched her and closed his eyes. He wouldn't see her again for a long time after that.

* * *

_A/N: Whew, this is probably the longest chapter I've scribbled out yet! I feel like I should get a reward for shutting myself up with no distractions and banging it all out. I hope you enjoyed it, I would love if **you could please REVIEW! xoxoxo**_


	49. An Intervention

_A/N:As I've told those of you who reviewed, I meant to get back to you earlier, but I've been working round the clock non stop at work seven days a week and have barely any time to do anything but sleep in the office. So **thank you so much for you amazing support and reviews**. Things are less than stellar around here and I am working myself to death at work atm so your thoughts really cheer me up. :)_

* * *

"Oh god, she's got _Little Women_ out," James groaned as he sat down for breakfast.

"And she has the hat on," Remus observed.

Ah yes. The hat.

The hat and _Little Women_. Two classic signs that Rowan had officially gone into overdrive.

Otherwise known as she had officially gone off her rocker when it came to concentrating on whatever she was trying to do. In this case, it was studying.

Rowan always read through _Little Women_ like a madwoman whenever she was under a great deal of strain, when they were studying for OWLs, she had read that book so much it began falling apart and she had to spello tape the spine. She claimed that it always eased her nerves and made her want to work harder. Apparently Alcott's industrious little women had a good effect on her with their cheery determinedness.

And then, there was the hat.

And ladies and gentlemen, it certainly was a hat.

It was an absurdly tall, top hat, that was rainbow striped. It looked like the predecessor of Dr. Seuss's _Cat in the Hat_'s hat.

And it looked utterly ridiculous on her.

Which made it all the more awesome that she was wearing it.

"Morning love," Sirius grinned as he poked the top hat.

"Yeah," Rowan replied without taking her eyes off her book.

"You look ridiculous," Marlene bluntly said.

"I like the hat," Peter remarked mildly helping himself to some coffee.

"Miss Forlani," a stern voice came from behind them.

Rowan internally swore and slowly turned around and met McGonagall's unamused face.

"Morning!" she said brightly.

"The hat is not with school uniform," McGonagall said.

"It's a hat, that's part of the uniform,"

"But it's not the proper hat,"

"This hat makes me think better," Rowan said.

Sirius and James tried very hard not to laugh. Lily looked at her mate and her professor, wondering who was going to win.

"Take it off," McGonagall said curtly.

Rowan didn't say anything but stared defiantly at her teacher.

"It helps me think better, I'm not lying," Rowan reiterated.

"Take it off, or I'll dock points," McGonagall warned.

Rowan gave her a cheeky grin and casually shrugged her shoulder.

"Five points from Gryffindor, mad cap girl," McGonagall muttered as an afterthought as she walked away.

"Cheers Minnie," Rowan toasted her with her tea as she watched her disappear.

She didn't take off the damn hat all day long, having applied a Sticking Charm to it and it wouldn't come off no matter how hard Sirius or James tugged at it. Teachers docked points from her all day long except for Professor Villa who had roared with laughter and fell off his seat.

Since they were so close to their NEWT's the teachers had stopped assigning them homework, instead dedicating time to reviewing topics and spells they thought most likely to come up in the exam. Everyone was on their nerves and half the seventh years had gone barking mad. Lily had developed an unpleasant habit of muttering herself all the time, and her recent break-up with James did not help her mind.

During one of their transfiguration lesson they received their exam timetable and McGonagall prattled off what the routine would be like. It was very similar to their OWLS.

"Your exams are spread across two weeks, and you will sit for them before the fifth years sit for their OWLS, giving you two weeks of free time at the end of term.

Like the OWLS, your theory exams are in the morning, practicals are in the afternoons.

And like the OWLS all the things that were banned then are still banned now everyone. The most strict Anti-Cheating charms have been applied to the examinations papers. Auto-Response Quills, Remembralls, Self-Correcting Inks and everything else that some ingenious idiot has invented are banned."

"Do we have to wait till July to our results?" Marlene asked raising her hand in the air.

"Yes. You should be receiving owls during that time with your results."

Sirius slumped lower in his seat and sighed to himself. It was going to be a fantastic holiday, waiting for the stupid results to come. He wondered idly whether or not the owl would find him, seeing as he was a kind of homeless. He snapped out of his brooding thoughts when Rowan accidentally set the corner of her desk on fire for the umpteenth time.

* * *

"Honestly Ro you should take off that ridiculous thing," Lily said shooting a look of disgust as she sat in the dorm studying her notes. Rowan was by the window seat since the height of the hat prevented from sitting on her bed properly.

"You're just jealous cos you don't have something as bloody amazing as this," Rowan replied charming her quill case absent mindedly as she looked at some diagrams.

"How on earth does that thing make you think better?"

"You see Lillian, by wearing such a ridiculously ridiculous looking thing on my head, it eases my head because I know it's silly and stupid. The fact that I'm wearing something stupid while doing something very serious, like studying, makes it more bearable. It's…easier."

Lily raised a sceptical eyebrow at this. "Really?"

"You ought to try it,"

"I don't have anything except a snow cap. That's not fun." Lily said a little petulantly.

"Give it here,"

Rowan studied the ordinary cap. Then she tapped her chin with her wand and then muttered something things under her breath. Then she handed it back to Lily.

"What the fuck did you do to my snow cap?!" Lily exclaimed dumbstruck running her fingers over the elaborate plumage that now adorned it.

"Made it cool,"

Lily looked at it once again and then shrugged thinking "What the heck?" and jammed it on her head. She took one look at herself in the mirror and then burst out laughing.

Rowan had turned her cap into an elaborate native American Indian headdress. It had a lot of feathers and beads and Lily looked like a chief now.

"Told ya,"

"Shut up Rowan and study,"

"Yes mum,"

So the pair of them continued to study wearing their respective hats and when they met the rest of the group for dinner they were met with more laughter.

"Oh man you've gone bonkers too," Sirius shook his head.

"She talked me into it," Lily said composedly as she tramped down the staircase.

"Watch McGonagall going nuts…now the Head Girl has a headdress on…"

"It helps me think better," Lily insisted.

"How?"

"Rowan explain."

So Rowan explained her theory once again and by the end of dinner everyone decided that they wanted to wear a ridiculous hat too. So they spent most of the evening was spent being holed up in the Girls Dorm with various hats and caps.

"It's weird that suddenly this is all ending," Marlene said suddenly.

"What is?" Peter asked confused.

"This. All this…hanging out, being kids…in less than a week…it's done. Life as we know, is done." Marlene said sentimentally.

"Ah, but as you said, the life that we know, is done. But there's a whole lot of new life out there waiting for us," 'Remus said swinging an arm around her shoulders. She laid her head against his shoulder and sighed.

'Yeah, the oh-tep." James said from his seat on Rowan's bed.

Silence.

"The what?" Sirius asked confuddled.

"Oh tep. OOTP. Order of the Phoenix." James said pronouncing the abbreviation phonetically.

"Oh my god, the oh-tep?" Rowan sniggered.

"Fine, the Order!" James huffed.

"Do you think we're gonna have to kill someone?" Peter asked after a beat with a note of apprehension in his voice.

A heavy silence fell over the group. Finally Rowan said, "Who knows?"

"Do you even think we're capable of killing anyone?" Lily asked the group.

That was a question that no one seemed to want to think about. But Rowan's eyes had darkened, thinking of Voldy Moldy, Rosier, Wilkes and every other stinking person who had made her life miserable_. Yes_. She was definitely capable of killing someone, she thought to herself.

"How do you think they're gonna train us?" Marlene switched tracks.

"Dunno. Defensive spells?" Peter suggested.

"Hand to hand combat?" Rowan said hopefully.

"Spying 101?" James threw in.

"Methods of intimidation and interrogation?" Rowan said sarcastically.

"Nope that's the other side," Remus grinned.

"Other ways of murder and persuasion?" she continued joking.

"Other side Ro, other side," Sirius elbowed her.

"Well looks like I picked the wrong side. Maybe I'll just end up being a guerilla fighter or a mercenary. Leave no bloody death eater alive," Rowan continued to joke. However there was a part of her, the ambiguous part of her that wasn't joking, but luckily no one seemed to notice.

"They are a nasty bunch," Remus agreed.

"They're scum," Rowan said shortly. Then she proceeded to do say something more unprintable things about them and Sirius directed a charm at her mouth which proceeded to fill her mouth up with soap.

She coughed and sputtered and then promptly tackled him to the ground, landing some well placed blows before Sirius pushed her off him.

"What the hell was that for?" Rowan yelled stomping into the bathroom to rinse out the soapy taste.

"For your dirty, filthy mouth. Jesus woman, I don't think I've ever come across someone who has such an extensive vocabulary of the swear words." Sirius yelled through the door.

"They're Death Eaters,"

"It's not nice for girls to have such a dirty mouth," Sirius retorted.

Rowan yanked open the door and whispered something in his ear that caused him to turn bright red. Perfectly calm Rowan returned to her seat while Sirius shut his eyes and tried to get some highly inappropriate thoughts and images out of his head.

"Ten galleons on guessing what she said to him," James whispered to Peter who sniggered.

* * *

This, Marlene thought, was ridiculous.

Both of them were utterly miserable. She hadn't seen Lily smile in weeks. James seemed to have deflated into himself and just shut himself up in his books.

It was throwing everyone else's game off even though at first they swore it wouldn't.

Well that of course was a big fat lie.

It was time, to intervene. It was time for an intervention.

"You guys! We have to do something," Marlene announced barging into the Boy's Dorm to find everyone except James and Lily with their heads buried in their books.

"You wanna jump off the Astronomy Tower into the lake? The ultimate plunge, the epicness of leaps." Rowan suggested.

"No but maybe after exams, check with me back then and I'll let you know if I want to jump to my demise," Marlene sarcastically replied. "No. We have to do something about the two thunderclouds that keep hovering about us."

"Prongs and Lily?" Sirius promptly asked.

"Yeah. You guys, they're absolutely miserable! We need to have an intervention." Marlene exclaimed.

"Should I make a sign for this?" Rowan asked brightly.

"Rowan! I'm serious!" Marlene huffed flopping down on Remus' bed.

"I dunno Marlzly…intervening in people's lives is an iffy thing…" Sirius said doubtfully.

"But it's your best mates!"

"And that's one of the reasons all the more to be careful about this thing! We don't want to piss them off even more!" Sirius exclaimed.

"Peter what's your take on this?" Marlene whirled on him and he looked at her and shrugged. "I dunno. I don't have any experience with this shit. I can't even get a girl to say 'hi' to me."

"But surely you want them to be happy?" Marlene pressed on.

"Of course I do, but that doesn't mean I want to screw things up for the rest of all of us,"

"Augh you guys!" Marlene turned her face into the bed and closed her eyes.

Rowan and Sirius exchanged looks. "All right Marlene, what exactly did you have in mind?" Sirius asked finally.

"We hold an intervention. A serious meeting with James and we tell him all the reasons that he either get over Lily and move on, or get with Lily and move on life with her in tow. I'm sure we all have our reasons that we think they should get back together."

"If this blows up in our faces then I'm blaming you," Rowan said.

"Fine. Now c'mon let's get this ball rolling…"

* * *

James trudged wearily back into his room and staggered through the door only to be met with five solemn faces and a big banner than said "INTERVENTION" in bright red paint. Rowan had her ridiculous top hat on and Marlene had an old school judges wig on her head.

Oh god. It looks like they had all ingested magic mushrooms this time.

"Erm…what 's going on?" James asked cautiously dumping his things on the floor.

"Prongs. This is an intervention." Sirius replied gravely.

"A what?"

"An intervention. James. Sit." Rowan ordered.

"For the past six weeks you haven't been the James Potter that we know. You've turned into this miserable, shell of a man whose always brooding. You've turned into Sirius." Rowan said reading from a piece of parchment.

"Hey!" Sirius said miffed.

"Mate c'mon, dude you were like the Grim after you ran away from home last summer," Remus snorted.

'You guys, back on track." Marlene warned.

"Anyway. James. You have to decide something. Either you man up and get on with your life and you move on. Or you work your damned hardest and fix your problems and go after Lily."

"So you're saying…"

"Get on with your life and get back with her." Rowan said crossing her arms.

"And you guys…" James looked at each of his mates.

"We just want to see you happy," Marlene said earnestly.

"It's not the same with all of us anymore. You guys…belong with each other, " Remus smiled.

James chewed on his lip thinking over everything that happened in the last six weeks. "What if I don't want to get back together with her?"

Silence.

Sirius strode over and slapped the back of his head, hard. "Ow!"

"James Ignotus Potter don't be kidding about this shit. This is a matter of life and death. There is no maybe. Either you don't want to get back together or you do."

Remus winced slightly at this and then stepped in. "Prongs…do you love her?"

James just looked at him. "And I thought you were the smartest out all of us Mooney…of course I love her you dolt!"

Marlene squealed and Rowan sniggered.

"Have you told her this?" Sirius asked curiously.

"No," James replied heavily. "There were a lot of moments where I wanted to but I dunno. They just weren't right and well, she dumped me before I got a chance to tell her."

"Oh." The boys went very quiet. Rowan pursed her lips. "James…she loves you too."

Everyone turned their heads to look at her. "Pardon?" James asked stunned.

"She loves you," Rowan repeated.

"And how do you know this?" Sirius demanded.

"She told me," Rowan replied simply.

"Oh." Silence.

Marlene tapped her foot impatiently. "Well don't just stand there! Do something you dolt!" she cried.

"What you, you want me to go and something right now?!" James asked agitated.

"Yes!" She exclaimed.

"No!" Remus and Sirius countered.

"AUGH!"

"STOP!" Rowan bellowed. She waved her arms around and all of them fell on the butts.

"Ouch! What the hell was that for?" Peter shouted.

"For being idiots. This was an intervention. Not interference." Rowan said rolling her eyes.

"There's a difference?" Sirius asked.

"Yes." She covered smoothly. "James, this is your life, you gotta choose what the hell you want to do with your life. But whatever you do, make sure that in the end you're not miserable. Cos if you are I'm gonna thrash you right well." She said evenly.

And with that she promptly traipsed out of the room dragging Marlene in tow who in turn grabbed Remus who shoved Sirius. Peter sighed and followed them. Before going he gave James a kind smile. "Relax Prongs. You'll know what to do, we just want you to be ok again."

"Thanks Wormy, I have to think." James made a face of horror. "Oh god, I have to _think_!"

* * *

_A/N: I'm going to try my best and update sometime, again, I'm working round the clock for the next three weeks so hopefully something will work out. Cheers to anyone who can catch the HIMYM reference. **Be kind and please review :) xoxoxo**_


	50. NEWTS

_A/N: I usually try to reply to your reviews before I post the next chapter but with my crazy work timetable for this month, I decided that perhaps you lot would want a new chapter sooner rather than later.** Thank you again for your wonderful support and reviews. You guys are a life saver!**_

* * *

If James thought studying for NEWTS was difficult, it was nothing, _nothing_ compared to thinking about how the heck he was supposed to get Lily back. They didn't even talk that much now! Augh. It was official. He was in hell.

"TELL ME WHAT TO DO!" He bellowed throwing his Transfiguration book across the room.

"Mate you should have taken Divination if you wanted somebody to tell you what to do," Sirius joked.

James gave him a dark look. Then he flicked his wand and Sirius yelped as he found himself hoisted in the air by his ankle. "What the fuck was that for?" he cried.

"I'm trying to make some life changing decisions here and you are being a first class idiot!" James growled.

"Life changing decisions? What are you gonna do? Marry her or something?" Sirius asked sarcastically.

James gave him a look. Sirius shrugged then a look of horror came on his face. "Oh my god no! Don't do it!" he shouted.

"Do what?"

"Don't go and propose her! You'll scare her off for good!" Sirius cried.

"What? Are you opposed to the idea of marriage? Are you really_ that_ afraid of commitment?" James asked.

"I'm not afraid of commitment and I'm not opposed to the idea of marriage. I am opposed to however, making rash decisions that could potentially ruin your life just because you love someone. Don't do something stupid." Sirius growled.

"How come you and Rowan haven't done anything? If you're not afraid of commitment how come you haven't done anything about it?" James demanded.

"Because Rowan and I are very different than Lily and you! People are different! Love works in different ways!" Sirius exclaimed wanting to shove James in the closet.

James mumbled something under his breath and flicked his wand. Sirius collapsed in a heap on his bed and lifted his head, feeling very dizzy as all the blood had rushed into his head.

"Now for the love of god and all things good and precious, aka, girls, please shut up or go ask the girls for helps. The NEWTS are this freaking Monday and I cannot fail."

"But—"

"NO."

"Padfoot,"

"GET OUT!" Sirius directed a hex at James and James flew out the door and out of site.

* * *

The weekend was spent cramming in as much information as they possibly could in their overheated, over strained, overwhelmed brains. The Seventh and Fifth Years were exhausted, agitated and in general, sick of studying and stressing and on Sunday Rowan declared that from the hours of 8 pm to midnight it studying was banned. Of course no one listened to her so she was left to her own devices during those four hours. What she did in those four hours no one ever knew but whatever she did would come in handy in the long run as the group would find out in the future. There was a reason the NEWTS were called Nastily Exhausting Wizard Tests, it wasn't uncommon for students to break down in panic attacks and nearly half of the Seventh Year ended up in the Hospital from collapsing of sheer exhaustion from going without sleep for too long.

And then, after what was both the longest and shortest night for the students who were to sit for their examinations, Monday finally dawned upon them.

"Lily, you look ok there? You look like you're going to be sick," Peter said tentatively.

She mumbled something in response, her hand shook slightly as she sipped at her tea.

"You know that there's no point in taking these bloody examinations since we're not going be going to work anyway," Rowan rolled her eyes.

"They still certify us as being able to practice magic!" Lily snapped, her nerves frayed.

"They're a bunch of bloody pieces of parchment that doesn't mean squat," Peter said moodily. Rowan nodded her head in agreement.

"You guys just shut up, eat breakfast and melt your brain some more by cramming some last minute bit of useless information," Sirius sighed munching on his toast.

"It's not useless!" Lily said shrilly.

"SHUT UP!" everyone shouted.

It was as if death had descended upon them when they looked over their examination timetable once more just to make sure of what subjects they had to get through. They had received it a month ago but thanks to nerves, studying and stress, students were apt to forget things. One poor Seventh Year completely lost his head completely and forgot his own bloody name or where he was from.

"Well, let's do this. First up, Potions." James said glumly pocketing his timetable.

Rowan gave him a sympathetic look. "Good luck mates, go ahead and kill it. Kill the fuck out of it."

Sirius hid a grin. Only she would say something like that about an exam. "What do you have?"

"Nothing. My exams don't start until Wednesday." She replied flicking through some notes.

"Augh I wish I was you," Peter moaned.

"No you don't. Now go. That exam isn't going to take itself."

At nine o clock the rest of the school departed leaving the Fifth and Seventh Years to mill outside the Great Hall. At half past nine they were allowed to re-enter and found that the usual house tables had vanished and were replaced with neat rows of desks that held quills, ink and parchment.

"I can't remember any of the theories…" Remus said blankly.

"Oh god, me too._ Fuck my life_," Sirius moaned.

"Shut up," James lightly whapped them on their heads. They filed through the rows and gingerly say down in the seats.

Professor McGonagall, Slughorn and Flitwick were standing there ready to fulfil their proctor duties. McGonagall rambled off the procedures for their exams and then at precisely ten o clock, the giant hourglass was turned and they began.

The NEWTs were nearly identical to the OWLS they had sat for two years ago with the test format, except the questions were infinitely harder and they were, supposedly, expected to craft more eloquent answers.

James honestly felt that his brain had turned into mush and for the first couple of minutes he just stared down at his paper. The question just stared back at him, all black and inky and official looking.

Then all of a sudden he was really, really mad.

He was bloody pissed.

The reason why he couldn't concentrate on anything was because of her.

_She_ was the reason he had lost all ability to focus, and not be able to tackle his future (if he had one after he survived the Order).

She was fucking up his future!

Not cool.

Not cool at all.

A scowl came across his handsome face and he gripped his quill harder in his hand.

He was not going to throw away his chance at having a future, over a girl.

Worse over, a girl who dumped him because she didn't think that they'd ever see each other after school ended, because apparently, APPARENTLY, after school ended, the world ended.

That's it, James grimly thought. He was going to kill her.

It was either that or…..

Yeap. He'd either have to do that or kill the singleness in him and take the leap.

Then James suddenly knew what he wanted to do. She was making him miserable so he was going to spend a lifetime trying to get back at her for that.

And with that James started scribbling down furiously as suddenly all the answers became so clear to him.

* * *

"Time's up. Please put down your quills," McGonagall said crisply.

Sirius threw down his quill and slumped lower in seat, stretching his arms over his head. He missed the very obvious look that a girl was giving him, his mind entirely too busy thinking about how damn good it would be to eat lunch after this. He felt as if he had forgotten every single thing he had ever learned in the last seven years.

"How do you think that went?" Peter asked as they exited the hall wearily.

"It could have gone a lot worse," Marlene said trying to sound optimistic. Remus slipped an arm around her waist and she leaned in towards him wearily resting her head against his shoulder.

"I completely blanked out on the definition of what the Draught of Living Death was," Lily glumly said.

"Oh god just stop. We are not going to go over the test again. It's bloody bad enough that we had to sit through it once, we're not gonna go through it AGAIN." Sirius groaned as they waited for the Great Hall to be turned back into an eating area.

"And I am never going to sit through that exam since I gave up potions two years ago and don't need a refresher on why I gave it up to begin with! Hello you lot," Rowan announced as she made herself appear out of nowhere joining them for lunch.

"Hey Ro," James greeted her tiredly.

"Man you look like you got knocked down by the Knight Bus," Rowan observed. They all looked like that had witnessed something terrible. Which in some hindsight, they did, it was potions for godsake. The worst kind of subject.

"I feel like my brain just disintegrated," Sirius grumbled. Rowan bit back a smile and she lightly nudged him. Sirius slung an arm around her shoulder and she slipped an arm around his waist. Poor boy. He really did look exhausted.

"Well on the bright side, you've got one theory part down," she said encouragingly as they sat down for lunch.

"What were you doing?" Peter asked helping himself to some pumpkin juice.

"Going through Arithmancy for the hundredth thousandth time. That subject is gonna kill me right well," she replied.

"If it's gonna kill you then I might as well not even try and sit for the bloody exam," Sirius stuck his tongue out.

"Oh come it off. You're in the clear cos all you need for your postponed future is Transfiguration, Charms, Defense Against the Dark Arts, Herbology and Potions. You don't need Arithmancy!

"Oh yes, that's aaallll I need," Sirius said dryly.

"Could we talk about something else? It's bad enough having to sit through the practical part of Potions in about an hour," Marlene sighed.

"Sure, boys. Here's your pick. Which would you rather make out with? Classic mermaid, top half human, bottom half fish; or inverted mermaid, top half fish, bottom half human? What do you do? Go!"

The boys thought about this. "On a scale of one to ten, how hot is the top half mermaid?" Peter asked seriously.

"Realistically speaking….a seven,"

Marlene gave a great big snort at the term "Realistically" being applied here. She listened attentively waiting for the boys responses.

"Top half mermaid," Peter decided.

"Bottom half human," Sirius declared.

"I'm going with top half mermaid too," Remus agreed.

"I'm with Padfoot, legs all the way," James stated.

"Why?" Lily asked surprised.

"Cos even if we're making out with a fish, if things go well, there's chance for other stuff to happen, if you know what I mean!" Sirius said brightly.

Marlene laughed. Then James added, "And if we're just snogging and she wants more, well, that'd be a difficult cos well, she's a freaking mermaid."

"How on earth do they procreate?" Peter wondered aloud.

"That's a good stinking question mate. We'd have to take a deep dive down into the lake to ask one of them," Sirius said thoughtfully. "Anyone speak mermish?"

"Anyone remember how to fend off Grindylows?" Remus added.

Lily felt the insane urge to laugh her head off. Here they were, sitting for the most important examinations of their lives and they were sitting here discussing how Merpeople procreate.

"Orrrrrrr…..we could just look it up in a book!" Rowan suggested.

"That'd be a lot easier yeah," Sirius conceded.

* * *

After rubbing their noses raw ploughing through Herbology on Tuesday, the group was joined by Rowan as they sat down for their Transfiguration exam. James and Sirius were feeling slightly better because they had a feeling they were good to go since it was their best subject. Sirius found the theory part of the exam quite easy to his astonishment and the practical went better than he imagine. Unfortunately, some poor Seventh Year ended up mixing up Switching Spells with an Enlarging Charm and ended up inflating the test proctor and the exam had to be stopped for a full ten minutes before peace was restored.

By Friday, they had finished taking Potions, Herbology, Transfiguration, Charms and Defense Against the Dark Arts. Here, Rowan felt that she had did quite well as she didn't find any questions that stumped her on the theory. She thought she may have scared the crap out of her test proctors who had administered her practical Transfiguration, Charms and DADA exams with her wandwork and some of the twists and quirks she had put on spells. She saw one of them scribble an awful lot on the piece of parchment they held in front of them…

She didn't mean to of course, but she couldn't help it. At this point she had become so proficient in inventing and modifying spells that the standard spells were no longer of interest in her and besides, there was a part of her that was quite pleased with her ability to manipulate magic so easily. Besides, it wasn't as if these exams would count or anything. After this she'd be hunting down Death eaters and hopefully sending them six feet under! Who needed NEWTS anyway?

Of course, she didn't dare breathe a word of those thoughts to Lily who would most likely go her rant that NEWTS were important as they were "official certification" and all that junk. _What a bunch of bullshit_ was what Rowan thought a lot these days.

They spent the weekend going over their last remaining subjects, for Peter it was History of Magic, Marlene and Remus had Astronomy to hurdle through at midnight on Monday, and Sirius and Rowan had Arithmancy. For old time's sake, they pulled their last ever, all nighter, just the two of them and crammed in as much information as their overworked brains could handle.

"Here's to our last ever all nighter!" Sirius toasted holding up a cup of tea at breakfast.

"Here's to our last ever magical exam!" Rowan exclaimed clinking her cup against his.

"I'd join you but I'm too tired to lift my arm," Peter mumbled as he read through his notes one last time.

"Where Prongs?" Remus asked yawning.

"Sleeping. Luck git. He finished on Friday. So did Lils."

"Well we can sleep at the end of the day," Marlene coaxed.

"Screw that, when this exam is done I'm gonna run around the grounds screaming I'M DONE I'M DONE I'M DONE! And wave my arms in the air like an idiot. Or maybe I'll finally take the leap and take the ultimate dive into the lake from the Astronomy Tower." Sirius said thoughtfully.

"Both sound appealing," Rowan agreed.

They parted ways after breakfast going to separate classrooms for the last exams. Seeing as there were fewer students taking these exams, they were administered in classrooms instead of the Great Hall which was just as well since the OWLS had just started as well.

Rowan and Sirius slid into their seats and Professor Villa grinned at his Seventh Year students. "All right you lot, don't get too excited…it's your last exam….you may turn over your papers…now! Good luck!"

Rowan scanned her paper and grinned to herself. Suddenly all the numbers appeared in her head as well as the definitions and she began scribbling away at her parchment. It was last theory exam ever. She was going to give 100% into this bitch and then walk away smiling just because she'd never have to sit for another test again.

"FUCK YEAH WE'RE DONE!" Sirius yelled after they had finished the practical part of the exam. He grabbed Rowan's hand and yanked her towards the doors that led outside to the castle.

"Sirius what are you doing?" she asked breathlessly.

"Celebrating!" He dumped his schoolbag with a thud and wrenched her bag too. Then he began running like a madman screaming "I'M DONE! I'M DONE! I'M DONE! I'M DONE!" with Rowan still in tow.

She began laughing her head off and broke out of his grasp as she began to run faster too screaming "NO MORE TESTS! NO MORE STUDYING! NO MORE SCHOOOOOOOLL!"

"I'M FREEEEEEEEE!" Sirius shouted twirling and jumping around like a little kid.

"SUNT LIBEEEERRRRRRR!" she screamed throwing her arms out wide and feeling the sun warm her face.

"What's the mean?" Sirius asked confused.

"I'm free in Romanian," she smiled.

"Oh. SUNT LIBEEEERRRRR!" Sirius echoed spinning around in a circle. He grabbed Rowan's hand again and took off running towards the lake and she laughed some more as she struggled to keep up with him without falling on her face.

Sirius thundered to a stop just before the water and swung her in front of him. "We're free! We're free!" he exclaimed gleefully.

"We're done with school forever!" She said happily smiling at him.

Sirius let go of her hand and grinned at her. Her eyes, so blue, matched the water that was glittering beside them perfectly. He put both hands on her face and kissed her hard, feeling her grin against his lips, as the sun continued to beam, celebrating the end of a life they had known and the beginning of a what would hopefully be a happier one to come afterwards.

* * *

_A/N: WOW chapter 50 here...I didn't think I'd ever get that far, don't get too used to fluffy endings for chapters but I thought it'd be a nice to end Chapter 50. Again, cheers to anyone who can catch the HIMYM reference, and the reference to Porter Robsinson hehe. **I'd love to hear you review :) xoxoxox**_


	51. The Leap I

_A/N: **As always thank you so much for your continued support and reviews. You lot are truly amazing.** Still working overtime and being underpaid, basically I'm a slave to the wage so I haven't had a lot of time to write but I hope to make some more time. Also, an obstacle that I'm currently facing is coming up with realistic plot ideas for the intial months spent in the Order, I have the latter half of it figured out, but the first half, the years 1978-1980 are a bit murky so if any of you have any suggestions or ideas please let me know!_

* * *

They had about a fortnight until the rest of school was done with their own exams, which meant they could spend the next two weeks in sheer luxury doing nothing, except being sentimental, taking walks around the castle, lounging outside on the grounds and maybe start thinking about packing. But for the Marauders and Marlene and Lily, they spent the majority of their time in the sun, laughing and taking pictures and filling up on the kitchen's delicious sweets.

Unfortunately for Rowan she couldn't spend much time with them because for her, of course, she still had some nose grinding to do in she wanted to win the Baranbus Finkley Award for Exceptional Spell Casting. She idly wondered how they got such a long name engraved on a shield or trophy. It was a mouthful.

She was in an empty classroom left to herself as she practiced. At first Sirius and James were greatly annoyed that she was still shut up in her books but once she reluctantly explained to them what it was they had switched gears and come up with a strict schedule for her to follow. They wanted her to win as much as she did.

Seeing as she didn't have any classes or really, anything to do in the morning, she usually slept till around noon, joined them for lunch and then was shut up in a classroom until about four in the afternoon. Then, James and Sirius had graciously allowed her a two hour break so she could enjoy some sun with them before getting back to practicing.

More often than not Rowan ended up practicing in late into the night, usually till three or four in the morning. But she didn't mind really, it was magic and she loved it, so she loved what she was doing even if she ended up giving herself a black eye or throwing herself over a desk from impact. Besides, she reasoned, she had to make as many trips to the Hospital Wing as possible before she left school. She was their best customer! And after two weeks she'd never be seen in it again.

So she continued to practice. And practice. And practice. She felt like she was spending more energy preparing for this than she had for her NEWTs, which in retrospect, should have bothered her but it didn't. The NEWTs weren't offering a ten thousand galleon prize were they? Nope. They weren't. But Baranbus was and she needed some way to support herself after school was over since she obviously wasn't going to a get a job.

Money wasn't only on her mind. All of a sudden amidst their happy times, the rest of them were realising that they had to find some way to face the real world afterwards, which included waging a personal vendetta against the biggest egomaniac on the planet.

James had informed his parents of what he was going to do after school and explained why as soon as he had made his decision. In return, his parents gave him their blessing and assured him that he could use the family's money to support himself. The Potters were quite wealthy and James was lucky to have grown up without ever wanting anything. To his credit, he was exceptionally modest about this and never flaunted it. So he was taken care of.

The rest of them…well that was a different story.

Lily of course came from a muggle family and couldn't live off muggle money. She figured she'd have to get some part time job or just explain to Dumbledore and hope for the best as she figured out how to finance herself. She also had to figure out where the hell she was going to live after this. She couldn't fight Voldemort whilst living in her parents house, could she?

Marlene came from an affluent family but had two younger siblings who had just started Hogwarts a few years back and she didn't want to be a burden on them by asking for them to continue to finance her after she had finished school. She was a grown up for hell's sake. And then of course, there was the question of where she and Remus would go after this. She knew of course that'd she see him quite a bit now that they'd be in the Order together. But where did that leave them otherwise? What do people do who have been going out for less than six months?

That was a question that had yet to be answered.

Remus was also in a pickle because due to his furry little problem, it was exceedingly difficult to find employment anywhere. And also thanks to his little problem, he didn't know where to live except his own home with his parents because they had a special room with chains and a cage and magical reinforcements. He had no money of his own, no claim to fame and no place that he could deal with his problem except for the Shrieking Shack and his parents house. And then of course there was the question of Marlene. What was going to happen them? He sure as hell didn't plan on breaking up with her any time soon.

Peter also did not have the faintest clue as to what he was going to do after school in regards to Order of the Phoenix. He had no idea where he was going to go, where he was going to live or how he was going to finance himself. He had told his parents about his decision too and they had offered to help spot him financially. He was fighting for a good cause and that apparently, warranted him financial aid. He still wasn't sure whether or not he wanted to live at home.

Sirius was flat out broke. He had run away from home last summer after finally having enough of his insane family and fled to the Potters. They had taken him in as a second son and had helped him pay for some of the new textbooks he needed for that year and he had promised he would pay them back at some point. Of course they had gently smiled at this and waved it off but Sirius swore to himself he would pay them back some day. It was a matter of principle.

But he had no idea where he was going to live after this! He was homeless and penniless! Fantastic.

However, that was about to change.

* * *

On the last Monday they'd ever have in Hogwarts, Sirius swore as an owl dropped a heavy envelope on his head.

"Bloody buggers!" Sirius grumbled as he swept some feathers off his head.

"You secretly wished you had one," James said referring to his own handsome screech owl Ludwig.

"Nope. I just borrow yours instead," Sirius replied ripping open the envelope. He quickly scanned the letter and sifted through a heap of legal looking documents. Astonished and feeling as if someone was playing a big great prank on him, he read the letter once more with sharp eyes.

"Holy fuck," Sirius whispered not believing his eyes.

"What's up Padfoot?" Peter asked.

"I've got…money," he replied still whispering.

"And I've got great hair," James replied sarcastically referring to his perpetually messy, rumpled hair.

"No…l mean…I have _money_."

"And where did you magically get this windfall of gold? From the end of a magical rainbow with a little green man sitting at the end of it?" Peter asked chuckling.

"Nope…my uncle Alphard just died…"

"Oh Sirius! I'm so sorry," Marlene exclaimed.

"Apparently it's a good thing, in this case," Remus said.

"And he left me money….all of his money. HOLY CRAP I'M NOT BROKE ANYMORE!" Sirius exclaimed.

"Let me see that," Lily asked sticking out her hand. Sirius handed over the sheaf of parchment to her and she read through them when she was done, she smiled at him, genuinely happy for him.

"Oh Sirius, I'm so happy for you, this is such good news!" Lily said warmly giving them back to him.

"Thanks Lils! Prongs I can pay your parents back for the school supplies!" Sirius said happily.

"Mate I really don't think they care…"

"It's the principle of things!"

"Your uncle Alphard gave you everything? Holy Merlin!" Peter exclaimed.

"Well not everything, everything, but a large inheritance, enough to render me financially independent." Sirius said excited.

"That's great mate, really," Remus smiled.

"'What's everyone looking so cheery about? Did you guys over do the Happy Charms again? Or oh no! Did you smoke without me?" Rowan asked referring to the time the boys and her smoked marijuana behind the greenhouses back in the sixth year. That had been a ridiculously good day.

"No! Sirius here is rich!" Peter said slapping his mate on the back.

"Pardon me? Did you win the lottery or something?" Rowan asked sitting down beside Sirius.

"Or something like that. My unlce Alphard he died, gave me a large inheritance, which means—"

"YOU CAN FINALLY GET YOUR FLYING MOTORCYCLE!" Rowan shouted very excited.

"I KNOW!" Sirius screamed. She high-fived him and he kissed her cheek.

"Oh Christ Sirius this is so cool. A flying motorbike…" she said fervently.

"Which is totally more important than being oh what, financially independent," James grinned.

"Oh yeah that too. I'm not broke anymore,"

"Clearly, since you're getting the motorbike, but congratulations on being financially independent and all that. But let's talk about this bike!"

"Honestly Rowan," Lily shook her head.

"I CALL DIBS ON THE FIRST RIDE!" James shouted thrusting his hand into the air.

"No way! I'm going first!" Rowan protested.

"You guys...stop fighting. There's plenty of me to go around," Sirius grinned.

* * *

That week seemed to pass by alarmingly fast and the Seventh Year girls from all houses were getting more and more sentimental as they walked throughout the castle over and over again. It wasn't uncommon to see girl's burst into tears during mealtimes as they began reminiscing about all the good times they've had.

Rowan, being the person she was, rolled her eyes at this and still refused to come to terms that school ending impacted her any emotional way. She had bigger things to worry about.

Lily and Marlene were still astounded by how unemotional Rowan was and over the weekend once they had started taking down their various posters, pictures and decorations that they had in the dorm they were the first to point out that she had the emotional capacity of a rock.

"I'm plenty emotional thank you very much, I just don't care about school ending, it was seven years of my life spent not sleeping properly. I'm not gonna miss that," Rowan said dryly as she jammed some more clothes into her trunk.

"But it was seven years of safety!" Marlene protested.

Lily gave a great snort at this. "Safety?! Pa ha! Do you know how many times Rowan ended up in the Hospital Wing?"

"One hundred and seventy-three times," Rowan promptly rattled off. She had kept count.

"_What_?!" Marlene asked shocked.

"She's been there one hundred and seventy-three times Marzly…this school was more of danger zone than a safe zone. And do you know how many times she ended up in detention?"

"Sixty-four times," Rowan cheerfully added before emptying out her wardrobe with a sweep of her hand.

"Holy crap. That's gotta be the most amount of detentions ever in this school!"

"Nope. James has me beat me beat by one…the bugger. I ought to fix that." Rowan thoughtfully.

"Please don't get yourself in detention in your last week of school…you should be enjoying this place, not terrorizing it!" Lily pleaded.

"I'm not terrorizing it! I'm just making sure that the teachers in this place are kept on their toes. You know, I'm rendering them a favour really since they're all so old…they need to keep their senses sharp."

"Professor Villa and Konstatin aren't old!" Marlene objected.

"Nope, but they sure are fine," Lily said grinning.

"Especially Konstantin, all dark and handsome looking," Marlene laughed.

"You guys…. they're our teachers…" Rowan made a face.

"Not anymooooreeee! School is over!" Lily replied in a singsong voice. Rowan chucked a scarf at her and Lily laughed.

"So….do any of you know exactly what the hell we're supposed to do in our summer? Or do we just jump straight into the Order?" Lily queries.

"Mate I don't care I need holiday damn it. I've worked hard for seven stinking years, I want to play hard for at least two months!" Rowan said passionately as she took down a map of America that was littered with red circles indicating all the places she wanted to go.

"So the cross country trip is still on then?" Marlene asked.

"I'm still going. Lily I hope you are too, we need some time to relax." Rowan said.

"I'm still in. not like I have anything else planned. Besides, I think it'd be a good thing for me, getting some space from…you know. Just focusing on me and having fun. And then I'll come back and be ready to kick some ass." Lily replied.

Marlene and Rowan exchanged looks but didn't say anything. Apparently their intervention that they had with James was a big moot point. They still weren't back together.

"And yeah maybe who knows, when I come back, I'll be ready to hang around James like before cos now it's still a bit weird and everything. But whatever. Space is exactly what I need. And what better way than to get space than by going a whole ocean away?"

Neither Marlene or Rowan had an answer to this one, they just exchanged another look.

* * *

Lily was right though, space was what she needed from James, from all the boys actually. It wasn't their fault, she loved them to death, but they just reminded of her James way too much and some distance would be good for them. Things were still weird between the two of them.

And things got a whole lot weirder as the last week of term ever commenced for them.

During lunch one afternoon, they had accidentally reached for the last breadroll in the basket and of course their hands had touched. Lily had yanked hers back as if she had been burned and she immediately flushed. James found himself quite annoyed with that.

This, he thought was absolutely ridiculous. Things needed to be set straight. And now, with school ending, there was little time left.

The problem was, James thought darkly as he glared at her, was that they had just too much of an ambiguous break-up. There was no yelling, no rational talk, no final good-bye. They just kind of let it sink and that was it.

The other problem was of course, he didn't want to say good bye to her. He wanted her forever or until death got him.

Swearing internally he pushed his glasses up and said to her, "Right Lily, can I talk to you for a second?"

She looked up startled. "Erm. Ok. What's up?"

"I've got a bone to pick with you, and I thought we could just settle it outside the Great Hall, do you mind," he stood up and gestured to her.

She got up and narrowed her eyes. Rowan gave her a look and nodded slightly. The boys just stared at James curiously. Sirius suddenly had a sinking feeling that something very bad was going to happen. James strode out of the Great Hall and stopped and whirled around at her.

"Ok…erm. What's going on? Is something wrong?" Lily asked nervously.

"You're damn right something is wrong. Lily you've made my life miserable ever since breaking up with me." James growled.

"James…breaking up isn't easy and it's not like I haven't been miserable too…" she began but he cut her off with a wave of his hand.

"No, you don't get to talk! The problem was that our break-up was too soft, there was no clear indication that anything was over. It was just pathetic. No yelling, no screaming, no emotions at all! So now I'M GOING TO YELL IRRATIONALLY BECAUSE I DIDN'T GET TO!" James threw out his hands.

"James—"

"YOU CAN'T EXPECT US TO BE MATES RIGHT AFTER WE BREAK-UP. IT DOESN'T WORK THAT WAY." James yelled.

Lily shut up and twisted her hands nervously.

"I GREW A FUCKING BEARD AFTER WE BROKE-UP BECAUSE I WAS FEELING THAT SHITTY. I'm a dude Lily! I DO NOT APPRECIATE HAVING MY MASCULINTY COMPROMISED BY FEELING PATHETIC AND GROWING A WALLOWING BEARD."

"A wallowing beard?"

"That's what Peter called it." James said grumpily.

"You shaved it off," she pointed out to his smooth face.

"WELL IT WAS GETTING HOT."

"That's good. I didn't like it that much. It made you look like a sleazy night club owner. That or someone part of a circus."

"Yeah well I didn't like it either! I just didn't feel like keeping up appearances." James said crossly.

"Are you done being irrational now? Cos I'd like to go back to lunch…"

"NO I'M NOT DONE!" James stamped his foot.

She sighed and rubbed her eyes. "What do you want James?"

"You damnit." He huffed.

Lily just looked at him.

"Lily Evans you are the most infuriating person I've ever had the misfortune of knowing. And you know what the worst part is?" He growled.

Suddenly Lily felt very mad. She was pissed. He was being an arse to her. "What? What is so terrible about knowing me James? Am I _that_ bad of a person? I'm sorry for being in your airspace!" she sarcastically said slapping her hands on her hips.

"The the worst part about you is me," James said.

"What?" Lily squinted.

"The worst part about you is me…because I love you." James said hotly.

Lily went deathly still and looked hard at me. "You're in love with me?" she repeated.

"Yes! And it's fucking painful seeing as you're not my girlfriend anymore. Yes Lily, I LOVE YOU."

"Well now you know how it feels to be as miserable as me cos I love you too!" Lily blurted out. She clapped her hands over her mouth.

"OK….good. so it's established….we both love each other…good to know."

"Yeah. Hoo fucking rah for us." Lily replied cynically.

"No this is good. This makes me doing this a whole lot easier…Lily I'm about to do something very stupid….please don't hate me…" James rambled off. He slipped his hands in his pockets and rocked on his feet, teetering on the edge before taking the leap.

"James you've done a lot of stupid things," She pointed out.

"But this is _REALLY _stupid," James insisted.

"James the worst has already happened, we broke up. What on earth could be worse than that?" Lily exclaimed throwing her hands in to the air.

"Trying to get back at you for that by annoying you for a lifetime?" James said loudly.

"Oh so now you plan on stalking me for the rest of my life? Really?" Lily asked sarcasm dripping off her words.

"Or something like that, no. Actually I thought I'd make you miserable by marrying you, here you go damnit," and with that James slapped a small velvet box in her hand.

Lily's eyes widened and her mouth dropped open. She stared at he box in her hand. "What?"

"Think about it. I'm gonna go and return to lunch," he replied before stomping flat footed into the Great Hall.

Lily felt as if her legs would give away, she needed to sit down. Breathlessly, she opened the box and let a soft cry of surprise at how beautiful the ring was. Where on earth had he gotten it? When had he gotten it?

She couldn't resist, she slid the finger on her ring finger and it fit her perfectly. And it looked damned good too.

Lily shook herself out of her daydream and remembered that she was still pissed at him. First, he was a royal jackass to her, second he had proposed to her.

It wasn't the fact that he had proposed to her that irked her, it was the _way _he had proposed to her!

Well, he certainly wasn't going to get away with that!

Lily marched her butt back into the Great Hall after slipping the ring back into the box. She yanked James out of his seat and thrust the box back into his hand. His face fell and he looked crushed.

"You think you can just get away with proposing, _LIKE THAT_?!" Lily screeched slapping the back of his head.

Rowan, Marlene and the rest of the Marauders gaped astonished at them. Peter whispered to Remus, "James proposed?"

"Apparently…"

"What the fuck kind of crack is he on?"

"Clearly, not the good kind!"

"Oh my god, he proposed? I told him not to do anything stupid!" Sirius groaned to Rowan.

She dropped her mouth open in shock. "You knew about this?" She slapped the back of his head lightly.

"Ouch!"

"Git,"

"James Ignotus Potter, you tell me you love me, and that's how you propose to me? Are you ought of your freakin mind?!" Lily shouted.

Several titters were heard from people at the name 'Ignotus'. James wanted to die. That or crawl under a rock. "Well…would you like to try it again?"

"Hell yeah! If I'm going to wear this ring, I'd like a real proposal!" Lily stamped her foot.

"Is she saying…'yes'?" Peter asked incredulously to no one in particular.

"I think, I _think_ so," Remus answered.

"He's going to ruin her life!" Sirius whispered fearful for Lily's well-being. He would know. He had lived with the idiot for the last seven years.

"Ok fine. You want a different kind of proposal Lily. FINE." James said getting excited all over again. He yanked Lily up and then promptly climbed up to stand on the table. He tugged harder at Lily to join him and she clumsily climbed up and the boys hastily shoved several dishes aside to make standing room and to make sure no goblets got knocked over.

"You want a big, fancy, sweet proposal? Well I'm sorry but I can't give you fancy or sweet right now, but I do know that I have to do this now, so at least it's big!" James exclaimed.

Then he went down on one knee and held out the box in his hand and grabbed Lily's hand with his other. The entire school went quiet and everyone was looking at them. The professors stared from their high table.

"Lily, I know that we've established that I love you, and you love me, thank god, otherwise this would be the most embarrassing and horrifying moment in my life…but I don't think you truly know how much I love you," James continued.

Marlene felt her eyes beginning to moisten. Crap. He hadn't even finished proposing and she was already crying.

"You make me so, so, happy Lily Evans. I love you for so many reasons, one of them being the fact that you put me in my place and help keep my head deflated and I feel that…this is gonna sound so cheesy…but you make me want to be a better person. In every way." He said steadily.

Remus felt a lump in his throat. Oh great, now he was turning into a big pile of mush too.

Rowan's hand found Sirius' underneath the table and she gripped it in a vice-like manner. She was terrified of what was going to happen. She didn't know if she could bear seeing James being crushed if she said 'no'.

And if Lily said 'no', she would never talk to her again.

Sirius squeezed her hand and they continued to stare at the couple up on the table.

"It isn't fair that you make me this happy, it really isn't. and if you will, I'd like a chance to reciprocate that. Lily, I want to make as happy as you do if you'd let me. And if you'd let me, I want to take care of you. Lily, I'd lay down my life for you. Will you please spare me from having to go hide in a hole for the next decade and marry me?" James finished his eyes never leaving hers.

Lily felt something rise up in her and she realised it was the overwhelming feeling of how much love she had for him and the fact that this was a huge moment in her life and that it was thrilling and terrifying at the same time.

It felt as if she was teetering off the edge of a cliff, and she had to take the jump into the unknown, she had to take the leap. So with full belief that if she jumped, James would hold her hand tightly and jump with her, and with a resolution in her voice that not even Voldemort's death eaters could break, she said,

"Yes,"

James' eyes grew bright and a huge grin broke out on his face, he slipped the ringer on her hand and then Lily brought him to his feet. She hugged him tightly and James kissed her hard and squeezed her back.

The Great Hall, for the most part, erupted in cheers and squeals. Marlene and Rowan shrieked and hugged each other and then stood on their chairs and climbed on the table to join them.

"You guys…I'M GETTING MARRIED!" Lily cried happily.

"YOU'RE GETTING MARRIED!" Marlene sobbed hugging her mate tightly.

"Oh my god James…you're all grown up, you're getting married. You're going to be _so _happy!" Rowan exclaimed hugging him hard and kissing his cheek.

"Congratulations you guys!" Peter beamed joining them. He thumped James on the back and kissed Lily's cheek.

"Oh my god you two…don't start procreating any time soon…" Sirius warned joining them and wrapped his arms around Lily and James.

"Mate that's what rubbers are for!" James replied brightly.

"James!" Lily exclaimed whapping his arm lightly. He laughed and kissed her again.

Rowan stepped back and lifted her wand towards the ceiling. Delicate gold and red flower blossoms began to fall around the entire hall and Sirius lifted his wand and shot some sparks into the air.

"Fuck where are the fireworks when you need them?" Peter asked Remus referring to the stock of firecrackers they had secretly stored in their dorm over the years.

"We'll set them off sometime before we go…" Remus replied smiling happily at his two mates.

Rowan glanced over at where the teachers sat and she could have sworn she saw McGonagall smiling. Dumbledore had a smile on his face and Hagrid, the gamekeeper, was beaming. Then she saw McGonagall striding towards them and knew that it was time to get off the table.

"Mr. Potter, Miss Evans, Mr. Mooney, Mr. Pettigrew, Miss McKinnion, Mr. Black and Miss Forlani, I highly suggest you get off this table now before you all end up in dentention. Furthermore, you will have points docked," she said sternly.

"Professor, I'M GETTING MARRIED!" James shouted ecstatically holding Lily's hand up in the air. Lily blushed and McGonagall's mouth twitched. She looked like she was having a hard time preventing herself from laughing.

"Yes I know. I will wish you a life time of happiness, _after_ you get off the table," she replied.

"C'mon you lot, let's go," Marlene ushered her mates back to their seats. Rowan sighed and shoved James for good measure and he gave a yelp of surprise as he toppled off the table bringing Lily crashing down on him.

"MISS FORLANI! DETENTION AND TEN POINTS FROM GRYYFINDOR!" McGonagall shouted. Then she turned and said to the James and Lily who were getting gingerly to their feet, "And I wish you two a life time of happiness. Hopefully you'll have found some friends by then who won't send you to the Hospital Wing," she added.

Sirius began laughing. McGonagall could be a riot sometimes. And then he looked at Rowan and rolled his eyes. "Really Ro? Detention? In your last week of school?

"What can I say? Old habits die hard." She replied returning to her lunch.

* * *

_A/N: Whoops I didn't mean for this to be fluffy either but what do you know? I think it's cos Ramadan has finally ended heh. Anyway, hope you enjoyed it, **please review! xoxoxo**_


	52. The Leap II

_A/N: I'm glad everyone enjoyed the last chapter! :) Still working overtime and double shifts at work and sleeping on couches at the ruddy office but things will kind of return to normal after September 1st hopefully and then I can hunker down and get some serious writing done. **Your support and reviews are appreciated so much,** I love hearing from you lot!_

* * *

Everyone was still riding off the high that the had gotten once they found out that Lily and James were to be married. Marlene and Remus were prettily situated in the shade of a large beech tree by the lake one afternoon and between a few thorough snogging sessions had been talking idly about the upcoming nuptials and other things.

Remus shifted his head and Marlene smiled down at him running her fingers through his thick curls. He was stretched out on the grass with his head in her lap, his fingers idly playing with the hemline of her sun dress. Right now he had never felt so content in his life before. This moment, he realised, was perfect.

He didn't want this to end, he wanted to remain frozen in this spot, in time forever. He studied Marlene's bright brown eyes that were gazing out to the shimmering water in front of them. Her lips curved.

"I know you're looking at me," she teased.

"You're pretty," Remus grinned.

"You're not so bad yourself, when you're not always hiding behind a book!" she replied giggling.

"Reading is important,"

"So is paying attention to your girlfriend," she clucked her tongue.

"Are you indicating that I am neglecting you in some way?" Remus joked.

_Oh in ways you couldn't even imagin_e, Marlene thought to herself. As much as she highly enjoyed their snogging sessions, Remus was ever the gentleman and his hands never strayed too far, and never explored inappropriate places.

That, she thought grimly, was the problem.

It wasn't as if she minded, but she wanted…more. She wanted to go farther but she wasn't exactly sure how to bring that up to Remus or if he even wanted to go that far. He was so damn nice, and old fashioned in some ways.

But she was horny! She was eighteen, in love and very much wanted to take a different kind of leap with him..

Wait, she as in love?!

Marlene's mind promptly screeched to a halt.

Since when the hell was she in love with Remus?!

"Marlzly?" Remus squinted up at her. "You ok there? You look like you're going through an aneurysm."

"Um…I'm fine. Just you know. Things are ending. Still shocks me sometimes," she said breaking out of her thoughts.

_Apparently I myself shock myself_, she thought ruefully.

"Yeah I know….school's nearly finished. Lily and James are getting married, we're all going to be going into the Order…"

"We're growing up," Marlene finished a little sad.

"Yeah…" Remus trailed off.

Both of them were privately wondering what the hell was going to happen to them once they stepped off the Hogwarts Express one last time in four days time. Neither of them had been brave enough to bring up the question.

Remus mentally sighed and decided that sooner or later one of them had to ruin the peace between him. Might as well be him.

"Hey Marlene," he said quietly. She looked down at him with wary eyes. He realised she must have an idea of what was coming.

"Let me guess…we're going to have a 'talk'…" she groaned.

He sat up and leaned back on his palms. "Sooner or later we'd have to…"

"Ok but before you say anything, I have to say something." She cut in.

"Go ahead,"

"Ithinkiloveyou," she said very quickly. Remus blinked.

"Pardon?" he asked confused.

Marlene blushed and tried to calm herself down. "I think…I think I love you Remus,"

"You think?" he echoed.

"Yes as in, I think I know that I know that I'm in love with you, but I'm still coming to terms with it myself," she clarified.

"Ohhhhh. Well. Guess what Marlene? I love you." Remus said without hesitation.

Her mouth dropped open comically and her eyes widened. "You love me?" she repeated.

"Yeap. I thought I would never say it to you…but I do. I love you." He repeated with more confidence this time.

Remus honestly never thought he'd ever have the guts to say it to her face. It embarrassed him because she was, in his eyes, so out of his league and was pretty sure that one day she'd realise she could do better, and get someone who was a proper human and not a dangerous werewolf on full moon nights.

But seeing James take such a huge leap into the unknown had prompted Remus to man up and say what had been on his mind for ages. And now, he felt better about it.

"How long?" she suddenly asked.

Remus thought about this for a moment. "Well to be frank, I started fancying you round Fifth Year as you know, but I wasn't in love with you. I think I began to highly fancy you seriously round sixth year and then liked you very, very, much when we started going out. But the moment I knew I loved you? Not sure. Probably sometime between March and April."

"You're so…factual about this," she chuckled and mussed up his hair affectionately.

"You asked!"

"So now the real question is…what happens after we step off that train and on to the platform on Sunday."

"I don't want to break-up," Marlene immediately said.

"Neither do I." Remus affirmed.

"OK. This is good. We both don't want to break up and we both feel that love is the appropriate word to use to describe how we feel about each other. So far, so good," she blabbed.

Remus bit back a smile. She was nervous. "Are you going on any holidays or anything?"

"My family and I usually go to the beach during August in France so that's not for awhile," she sighed.

"Marlene, you think you love me right?" he demanded looking hard at her.

"Yes, did we not just establish that?"

"Weshouldmoveintotgoether," Remus blurted out in one breath.

"Pardon?"

"I said and don't hit me for this, I am merely suggesting for all practical purposes since we're going to be working in the Order together and we are together…we should…move in together." Remus said realising he couldn't very well take back the stupid idea he blurted out in the first place.

She didn't say anything. He mentally kicked himself. "That's a big step," she finally said.

"It's a HUMONGOUS step," Remus corrected.

"This is like…one big moon leap step," Marlene nodded.

"The ultimate leap," Remus agreed.

"Besides getting married," she said without thinking.

Remus gaped at her. "Ahhhh don't get the wrong idea Marlene…I'm not saying we move in because I want to marry you, not that I don't want to marry you, but no, I don't, and I'm not saying this to get into your pants, not that I want to," Remus began to blabber without thinking what he was saying.

"You don't want to get in my pants?!" Marlene asked confused and little miffed.

"Would you like me too?" Remus asked incredulously wondering how the hell they got to this point.

"Well….at some point yes! I'm not a nun for crying out loud," Marlene huffed.

Remus' mouth opened and closed comically like a fish. "You….you do? I thought. Well. I didn't want to…I didn't want to…"

"Pressure me?" Marlene finished. He nodded vigorously. "I just didn't want to come off as a jackass to you,"

"Believe me Remus…you are the furthest thing from a jackass. You're too sweet for your own good."

"Thanks I guess?"

"It's some ways. iIn some ways…not so much. But let's get some things straight. You're proposing that we move in together after school ends…we both find the term "love" applicable to us…and…for the record I'm giving you the "green light" to go ahead…and be you know…a normal eighteen-year-old bloke." Marlene summed it all up in one breath.

"I think that's about right," Remus confirmed still reeling over the information she had revealed about him.

They fell silent for a moment.

"Sooooooooooo…."

"Sooooooooo,"

"You really want to move in together?" Marlene asked timidly.

"I want to be with you…I want to be close to you….Marlene, we could die…pretty much anytime after we step foot out of this school…and well yeah. I just want to be with you." Remus fumbled over his words.

Marlene felt her heart swell in her and thought that she was acting very girly and if Rowan was here, she'd slap her on the back of head. _Right. Reign in yourself._

"I want to be close to you too," she said quietly linking her hand with his.

"So….we're moving together?" Remus said cautiously.

"We're moving in together," Marlene repeated squeezing his hand.

A shy smile broke out on his face. There. He had taken the leap and she had grabbed his hand and jumped with him.

"We're moving in together," he repeated more confidant.

"We're moving in together!" Marlene squealed.

"We're nearly all grown up," Remus grinned.

"Neeeaaaarrrllllyyy," Marlene teased before crushing her lips to his. Remus tangled a hand in her smooth blonde hair and she twined a hand around his neck. Marlene pressed herself closer against him and Remus kissed her back with all his might and felt the happiest he had ever been in a long time.

* * *

"Mate…this is one big ass jump," Rowan said staring down at the water from her perch on the Astronomy Tower.

She, Sirius and Peter were all up on the Astronomy Tower, having decided that they today, they would finally take the ultimate leap, the biggest of dives, into the lake.

This of course, was one the _stupidest_ things they could have chosen to do, but they had joked about it so much and referring it to so much that it only made sense that they actually do some of the stuff they're always talking about.

"Guys…we could die," Peter said gob smacked at the distance.

"Man what a way to go…" Sirius whistled.

"You guys…do **not** back down from this…we've been talking about taking the ultimate plunge from this goddamn tower since fifth year. Do not crap out on me now!" Rowan warned having already stripped into a pair of shorts and tank top.

"Do you know how much that impact is going to hurt us when we finally touch the water?" Sirius said incredulously.

"Yes, I am fully aware of that." Rowan replied retying her hair. She stood braced at the edge of the Tower, hands on her hips. Sirius and Peter were behind her still in their clothes. Sirius however studied her silhouette framed by the sunlight and smiled.

This position, he thought, suited her perfectly. It summed up everything about her.

This girl, he mused. Was absolutely fearless. Recklessly so.

If she was gonna take the leap, then by god so was he.

"Fuck it, let's do this," Sirius said suddenly. He wrenched his t-shirt off and braced his hands on his hips.

"You guys we're gonna die!" Peter said more alarmed.

Rowan tossed him a withering stare and sighed deeply. "Peter do you really think that I'd let us all jump from here without giving us a little insurance?"

"Huh?"

"Peter I'm gonna put a few insulations charms if you will, on us. Come here." She commanded.

Peter stepped forward with an anxious face. Rowan lifted her hand and muttered something under her breath and Peter shivered once. "Now what."

"We jump," she promptly replied and did the same thing to Sirius and herself.

"What did you just do?" Sirius asked apprehensively.

"Hopefully something that will minimize the stun of the landing impact when we get into the water and hopefully stop us from drowning ourselves in the lake depending on the depth of how far we actually fall in." she said critically studying the jump once more. Then she turned her head back at them and gave that crooked smile of hers. "You lads ready to take the leap?"

Peter looked at her with wide eyes. "You go first!"

"Fine, I will." Rowan tossed her head. She climbed onto the edge of balcony and looked down before turning her head and grinning cockily at Sirius.

"You jump, I jump jack," Sirius said joining her. He grabbed her hand and firmly held it in his own while staring down at the water way down below them.

Rowan smiled at him and said, "On the count of three then yeah. One…"

"Wait!" Sirius interrupted. She looked at him irked. "What now?"

Sirius slid a sideways look at her and said, "Remember when I told you that I thought we were right together, but it wasn't the right time?"

"Yeah…"

"Do you think it's the right time now?" He asked quietly.

Rowan looked at him for a long moment. She felt a funny feeling rise up in her and then she realised what it was. She was ready. She was ready to take the leap.

"Yeah. I think it is the right time now, I'm ready to take make this jump," she said referring to both things.

"Ok. Then. Let's do this," Sirius smiled and gripped her hand tighter.

"You in for the long haul?" she eyed him.

"Until the very goddamn end," he replied.

"One,"

"Two,"

"THREE!"

The pair of them leapt off the balcony ledge, screaming and shrieking, their hands still joined together.

It was both the longest and shortest moment of their life and Sirius had never felt so exhilarated in his life. The sheer feeling of being weightless, airborne and totally free was incredible.

Then they hit the water.

To Sirius' amazement the impact of water didn't hurt like the sonofabitch he expected it to be. Just before they hit the water Sirius felt a curious sensation of being slowed down, it was as if gravity was being screwed over momentarily as they hit the water in a gentle manner.

He highly enjoyed the silent, deep feeling that surrounded him when he was underwater. Everything seemed so surreal, serene and mysterious.

He let go of her hand and then swam a little further down before feeling the primal need for oxygen. Finding her hand once again, Sirius swam up to the surface.

His head popped up above the water and he sucked in a lungful of sweet, sweet air. Rowan's head appeared moments water and she breathed in deeply.

"That was amazing! What the hell did you do to stop the impact of the water from killing us?" Sirius asked catching his breath.

Rowan just smiled at him and gently kicked his leg before scissoring her legs and treading water.

"Do you think he's gonna jump?" Rowan asked peering up at the Astronomy Tower to see if she could spot Peter.

"I don't know. It's a pretty steep jump love," Sirius replied.

She made a noise of agreement. Sirius watched her quietly and his lips curved in a smile.

"C'mere," he said. Rowan obliged and swam closer to him and he wrapped an arm around her waist.

They didn't say anything for a moment or two, instead just treading water and studying each other silently.

Rowan gave in to her emotions and wrapped her legs around his waist and twined her arms around his neck. Then she kissed him and let herself fall into the sheer pleasure of kissing him.

Sirius coaxed her mouth open with his own and ratcheted up the degree of kissing a few more notches.

She was a very good kisser, Sirius thought as he felt her grip tighten on him as she kissed him back with more fervour.

The need for an air became an issue and it became a little bit tiring treading water and keeping them both afloat, not that he minded having her slim legs wrapped around him, but perhaps in another situation he would enjoy it more. He gently disentangled himself from her and ran a finger down her jawbone affectionately.

He had told her that he was in love with her way back at the start of this year, but he had never told her he loved her, he hadn't uttered those three very important words to her yet.

Sirius knew that he loved her and he knew that he wanted to tell her but it was all about timing and since he had patiently waited for her to catch up on the all chapters that she was behind him and now she was finally, finally on the same page as him, he did not want to scare the crap out of her by rushing ahead an entire novel of her.

What he didn't know was that Rowan knew that a part of her had always loved him too, more than as a mate, she just wasn't aware of it then and now as were finishing school and going into their next life, she knew when her life flashed before her eyes briefly, that all of her being loved him. She just wasn't quite ready to tell him yet.

But that was fine for now and as they continued to bob in the water feeling the sun warm their skin, the pair of them felt perfectly content with where they were.

Their peaceful equilibrium was broken momentarily when they head a splash near them and both them turned around stunned to see Peter's head float up a few minutes later.

Rowan broke out into a wide grin and swam over to him. She hugged him tightly and cheered. "AW YEAH PETER YOU TOOK THE LEAP!"

Sirius joined them laughing. He wrestled around with Peter good naturedly and both tried to dunk each other underwater. Rowan watched the two of them with a smile on her face.

"So what made you jump?" Sirius asked floating on his back.

"Everybody's…doing something with their life, Prongs and Lily and are getting married, Mooney and Marlene will probably get engaged or move in or something…you two…well I don't know what you two are going to do but something tells me it's not going to be boring…I don't know. I'm not doing anything really and I don't know. I just wanted..to do something big. This was big." Peter said thoughtfully as he studied the sky.

"This was humongous," Sirius agreed.

"Peter…you are doing something with your life," Rowan said gently. "You're in the Order…you're going to kick evil in the nuts!"

Peter shook his head. "This is different…everyone is doing with something with their life…people wise. You lot are turning into…grown ups,"

Sirius made a face. "Grown-ups…mate that makes us sound old…like thirty,"

"Oh god don't even say that number…hell I haven't even turned eighteen yet," Rowan grumbled as she made her way to the shore.

"And what a magical day that'll be. Finally of age in the muggle world," Sirius teased as he followed her.

"Peter we're nowhere near being grown-ups yet…to be a grown up….I don't know. You need a munchkin. Or a mortgage or something. Or…wrinkles. Fuck that. I'm never becoming a grown-up. I'm gonna die before I turn thirty. Or better yet twenty-four, who the hell wants to be a quarter and a half of a century year old?" Rowan rattled off as she magically dried herself off.

"Well…when you say it like _that_…." Peter dryly pointed out.

"Merlin, even twenty sounds old…two whole bloody decades of living. Good god. I'm gonne die at twenty-one or before that," Rowan huffed.

"Isn't that cheery?" Sirius sarcastically remarked shaking his hair like a wet dog. Peter made a face and waved his wand over himself drying himself out.

"You're a goof," Peter told her.

"I don't want to get old," she grumbled.

"So that gives us…a grand total of four year, tops?" Sirius inquired as he casually brushed his hand against her.

"Mate if we last the summer that's a grand achievement knowing you and I," Rowan dryly replied.

"What the heck are you guys talking about?" Peter asked bewildered.

"Nothing," Rowan replied evasively. This annoyed Sirius for some reason but he didn't say anything right then. He'd get on her case later for that.

"You guys are a little... sometimes I don't think you're all there in the head," Peter shook his head and walked ahead of them.

"Mate that cos we're _not_ all there in the head," Rowan called after him.

Sirius rolled his eyes and his hand found Rowan's again and he laced his fingers firmly between hers. "So apparently we have an expiration date?"

Rowan slid a look at him. "I don't want to get old mate,"

"No one does,"

"But like I told you, I'm in for the long haul. Even if leads to a disaster." She added.

"Good," Sirius replied quietly. He drew her close and pressed his lips against her temple. Rowan internally sighed and leaned into him and he wrapped a hand around her waist.

"But if god forbid I do get old, and we manage to not cause the world to explode, then I'd want to get old with you," she said staring straight ahead of her.

Sirius felt his lips quirk into a smile. "Even better."

* * *

_A/N: I hate myself for writing so many light-hearted chapters in a row. -.- Anyway, **I hope you lot have a great weekend, and please review! xoxoxo**_


	53. Leaving

_A/N: Thank you for all your alerts, favs, and reviews! I appreciate them so much._

* * *

Too soon the last week of term ever dwindled down to the weekend and Lily stared at her trunk, tears in her eyes. She suddenly burst into tears.

"Oh god Lily what's wrong?!" Rowan asked concerned as she shoved some more books into her trunk.

"Nothing….we're….we're…we're…LEAVING!" Lily sniffed. She blew her nose and Marlene swore as she felt herself tearing up.

"Seven years….seven years of being together," Marlene said emotionally as she sat down next to Lily.

"You guys…we have a whole life time ahead of us of being together!" Rowan threw her hands up in the air.

"But not like this!" Lily protested.

"You lot are too emotional," Rowan rolled her eyes.

"You're not emotional enough!" Marlene retorted. "Why are you not more torn up about this?!" she demanded.

"Because. I'm not." Rowan replied shortly. She retied her hair back into its bun and resumed her packing.

Marlene muttered something. Lily however appraised her keenly. "Something's up. Fess up Ro,"

"Pardon?"

"There has to be a reason why you're not so emotionally wrenched over leaving school. What is it? Are you really _that_ excited about going on a cross country trip to America?"

"Yeah, I am," Rowan immediately replied thinking of what the next two months had in store for her and Sirius.

"Some best maid you are," Lily stuck her tongue out.

"What's there in America with you that's not with you here?" Marlene threw her hands up.

"Sirius," Rowan quietly answered.

The room went very silent.

"Sirius?" Lily echoed.

"Sirius?" Marlene squawked.

"The one and only," Rowan replied solemnly as she shoved some clothes into her trunk.

"You and Sirius are going to America? For two months?" Marlene asked sceptically.

"Yeap,"

"Are you sure that's a good idea? I mean…you two…it's you two. I don't think you should keep stringing him along Rowan. It's been long enough." Lily said very serious.

"I'm not stringing him along," Rowan sharply countered struggling not to get mad at them because they didn't know.

"What do you mean by that?" Marlene asked shrewdly.

Rowan whirled around and placed her hands on her hips. She seemed to struggle with what she wanted to say. "Sirius is not being strung along. So don't worry about him."

"Rowan Forlani what are you implying?" Lily narrowed her eyes.

Rowan chewed her lip and then sighed. "Sirius and I. Hell I can't do this." she swore a blue streak and stomped out of the dorm.

Lily and Marlene looked at each other and then promptly waited thirty seconds before dashing out the door after her.

"ROWAN FORLANI GET BACK HERE!" Marlene bellowed thundering down the stairs followed closely by Lily.

The marauders twisted around in their seats and momentarily looked up from their plans they had been looking at. Rowan winced slightly and Sirius gave her a confused look.

"Mate I'm sorry to cut our time together short but don't be surprised if I die now," she muttered.

"What the hell did you smoke?!" Sirius mumbled back eyeing her roommates warily.

"Something amiss?" Remus inquired.

"You could say that Remus," Lily growled. She marched up to Rowan and tugged at her t-shirt.

"Grow up and tell us!" She shouted.

"I'm not good at these kind of things!" She protested.

"Good at what things?" Peter asked raising an eyebrow.

"Sirius is it true that you and Rowan are going to America for two months?" Marlene rounded on him.

"Hell yeah we are! Lily's not going since James had to go and ruin his life and propose to her,"

"HEY!" James protested.

"Kidding mate, really happy for you," Sirius grinned.

"Wait, so you two are going to America. Even though it's you two?" Marlene asked doubting this entire thing.

"What is it with you and the fact that it's Rowan and I? Lots of couples go on holiday!" Sirius exclaimed throwing out his arms.

"Couples?" James repeated.

"Holiday?" Peter asked bewildered.

"COUPLE?" Remus shouted jumping up. He rapped Sirius sharply over the head.

"Ow! Hey! What the hell was that for?" Sirius cried.

"The most important thing in your life has finally happened and you didn't even bother to tell us?" Remus growled.

"I'm with Mooney on this one. We're your goddamn roommates!" James rounded on his Sirius.

Peter started laughing his head off and Rowan and Sirius sighed wearily. "Why are you laughing Wormtail? This isn't that funny."

"Your level of stupidity astounds me," Peter chuckled.

"You sonofabitch! You guys are together and you didn't tell us? You're a huge sonofabitch!" James stood up rumpling his hair.

"Wait, are you guys together together?" Marlene asked anxiously. The entire group looked at them anxiously.

"If you call being together….I don't know how do you define being together?" Sirius asked Rowan frankly.

"I don't know? Just being with you?" she shrugged. Sirius slapped a hand on her knee. "That's good enough for me. Then yeah. I guess we're together." He replied carelessly motioning with his hands.

"FINALLY!" James shouted throwing his hands up.

Marlene and Lily began shrieking and converged on Rowan who disappeared under them. Remus grinned and clapped Sirius on the back and Peter gave him a thumbs up.

"You lot…calm down. It's not as if we're getting married or something," Sirius rolled his eyes.

"You guys should!" Came Marlene's muffled response as she hugged Rowan.

Rowan's eyes met Sirius' and they exchanged a short telepathic conversation that went like this:

_Sirius, if you ever decide that you want to ruin your life permanently, warn me that you're going to propose so I can run in the opposite direction to save you a life time of misery._

_Rowan I am nowhere near ready for marriage let alone a serious relationship. We'll be lucky if we don't muck this up._

_Wait, this is a serious relationship?_

_I'm not sharing you with anyone._

"Yeah Lils…we ain't getting married any time soon," Sirius shuddered.

"Blimey it only took you…a million years to get here," Peter shook his head.

"We got here as fast as we could," Rowan argued feeling exhausted.

"Well at the end of the day we're all very happy for you two," Remus quickly concluded.

"And Merlin forbid you fuck this up, but Padfoot mate, if you do screw things up I'm going to have to off you," James frankly said.

"And if you screw things up Rowan we're gonna have to bury you six feet under as well," Lily told Rowan sternly. Sirius had to smile at this.

"Don't we have such good mates?" Rowan asked Sirius sarcastically.

"Yeah. We have the best." Sirius grinned.

* * *

In the wee hours of the morning on Sunday, Rowan met Sirius down in the Common Room for one last stroll throughout the castle. It was five in the morning.

"Too. Bloody. Early," she grumbled still sleepy.

"Morning to you too," he yawned kissing her and dragging her out of the Portrait Hole.

The castle was very quiet as the students continued to sleep and the pair of them leisurely meandered throughout the Castle remembering about all the good and bad times they had over the last seven years here.

"Isn't this the classroom you blew out?" Sirius pointed out as they passed a classroom.

"One of the many," she agreed. Sirius chuckled.

"Are you as sad as the rest of our lot about leaving?" Rowan asked curiously lifting her head to study him.

Sirius thought about this for a moment. "I'm sad, because it was my home for the last seven years and I've had some of the happiest times here…and I know this sounds really

Lame and cheesy, but I got you lot…and you're essentially my family. Well. Except you. Cos that'd would just be weird."

Rowan smiled. He continued, "This place was my real home. My home wasn't a home at all. Not for me, anyway. So yeah. I am quite sad that we're leaving. But there's nothing I can do about it. This is life. We grow up, we move on."

"That we do. Or at least we try to." Rowan agreed.

"Apparently you're not torn up about this at aaaalll. Or so Lily tells me."

"I'm sad yes, but I don't feel the need to cry about it. Besides. I'm excited to leave."

"Why?!"

"Cos. I'm excited for what's coming next. I'm excited because…I'm excited to be with you and whatever is up ahead for us." She said evenly as they crossed the threshold and went outside.

Sirius felt pleasantly surprised. He wrapped a hand around shoulders and brought her closer to him. He highly enjoyed the new found freedom that he could put his arm around her whenever, wherever, kiss her, have her close to him whenever he damn well pleased him.

He wasn't a clingy person at all and he wasn't touchy feely all the time with girls, but he had spent so long combating his feelings for her that he couldn't help but want to just enjoy her closeness to him.

Still, he felt the need to tell her this, that he wasn't a crazy, clingy boyfriend, that he was merely savouring that the universe worked out in his favour for once.

"Rowan, this is going to sound really stupid, but I'm not this touchy feely all the time," he said glancing at her.

"I'm confused," she replied sitting on the edge of the lake with her feet pulled up against her.

"Well. Erm. I know you like you're space and everything. You can take care of yourself and I'm not gonna try to take care of you,"

"Sirius sometimes you really are daft in the head, c'mere," she ordered patting the space behind her.

Sirius obliged her and shifted behind her and she promptly leaned against him between his legs and rested her head against his check. She stared broodingly out at the water in front of them.

She started tracing patterns on his knee and then said, "Sirius, correct me if I'm wrong, but from what I glean from everyone else, this year wasn't all that rainbows and sunshine for you. I believe you told me that you 'had the misfortune of falling in love with me,'"

Sirius cringed. "Sorry about that. I was a little…frustrated at that point in time."

"Exactly my point. Sirius I'm sorry I made you go bonkers this year, and now that we've finally gotten on the same page…I don't know. I like being close to you ok? Besides, I know you're not going to suffocate me, smother me, or squash down my independence. You know, it's kind of funny. Lily once asked me how'd I describe my ideal bloke, and I said, someone who gave me space, could hold his own, passionate, reckless and someone who could take care of himself. That's all you. At the time I didn't realise it. She did, she pointed it out and I laughed my head off. But looking back on it…yeah. That's you mate."

"Cheers love," Sirius grinned laughing in her neck. He felt her squirm beneath him and tightened his grip around her.

"Don't' get so cocky 'bout this, I could easily dump your ass," she warned.

"I don't think so," Sirius said.

"Oh yeah, says who?" she retorted.

"Because it'd be a lot harder to walk away from me as a boyfriend, you'd have to walk away from me as a mate and that's a pretty tough thing to do when we've known each other for nearly four and half years now," he reminded her.

"Survival of the bloody fittest," was her reply. Sirius narrowed her eyes and he pressed his lips against her ear. "You want to know why else you're not going to be able to dump me as easily as you would with other blokes?"

"Why?"

"'Cos we're right for each other, and deep down, you know it," he growled as he bit her earlobe not so gently.

Rowan felt a shot of pleasure shoot down her spine and internally swore a blue streak. "Fuck you Sirius," she mumbled as she twisted around to meet his lips with her own.

* * *

A fair amount of the Seventh Year girls were sobbing a bit as they ate their last and final breakfast that morning. Marlene sniffled as she sipped her tea and Remus exchanged a bewildered look at James who just shrugged. Beside him, Lily was also red-eyed and he had no clue what to do about it.

"Happy last bloody day in here, **EVER**!" Rowan announced as she and Sirius joined them. This caused Lily and Marlene to burst out in fresh waterworks.

"Smooth Rowan, real smooth," James glared. She shrugged and bit back a smile as she tucked into her breakfast.

"Aren't you lot just a little bit excited for the next phase of our lives? I mean, you two are getting married for crying out loud!" Rowan exclaimed.

"Yeah we are…" James grinned.

"Have you lot set a date yet?" Peter inquired through a mouthful of bacon.

"As soon as possible," he promptly replied.

At this Sirius and Rowan burst out in a loud protest saying they were going to America for eight weeks and that they would have to postpone it until they got back.

"You lot know it won't be a proper wedding without your two best mates," Sirius pointed his fork at his mate.

"I know…but there's so much to do. And we when the hell do we start the Order stuff? I want to get married and have a little time to actually enjoy it before running around with a death wish…"

"September," Lily spoke up.

"Pardon?" Peter asked.

"September. I want the wedding to be in September," she repeated.

Rowan grinned. "Excellent."

"Why September?" James asked wanting to know.

"Because it's not that far away, but it still gives us about two months to plan the wedding and believe me, from what I've heard, wedding planning can be a real bitch," she replied.

"Don't worry, you've got me,' Marlene said brightly kissing her cheek.

"Marlene's gonna win Bridesmaid of the Year," Rowan said to Remus who grinned.

"So what about you? What part do you play?" Peter asked.

"Make sure that James doesn't do anything stupid ten minutes before the wedding starts," she replied.

"I thought that would be the best man's job," Sirius said miffed.

"Mate, knowing you two, you'd be the one telling him to do said stupid thing!"

"Hey…."

"Tis true, I wouldn't put it past you…or you to do something stupid," Remus agreed referring to James.

"Thanks for having faith in us Mooney," Sirius said sarcastically.

"No problem mate. Any time."

Too soon they found themselves being hustled out of the Great Hall in order to pick up their bags and things before leaving the castle for one, last time.

"Jesus I can't believe we're leaving…" Peter said as they walked through the Castle Doors for the last time.

"Bye house," Sirius said quietly as he took one last look at the place he had called home for the last seven years.

"Bye house," Rowan echoed softly wrapping an arm around Sirius' waist.

"One last picture! For the road! PLEASE!" Marlene cried taking out her camera.

To her surprise no one groaned or moaned at this. Instead they all grouped around the steps outside and Marlene asked a nearby fifth year to take the picture.

"Smile!" she said grinning. She stood behind Remus and flung her arms around his shoulders. James and Lily stood next to each other with their arms around each other, Peter stood in the centre and Sirius and Rowan stood off to the side, Rowan's head resting on Sirius' shoulder. Sirius gave a thumbs-up in the air and the flash went off.

"I want a copy of that picture as soon as you get it developed Marzly," Lily told her as they once again started to make their way down to the horseless carriages.

"Of course."

"Any last words for this place?" Remus asked as they began riding away from the castle.

"It's been fun making home improvements on you on a weekly basis," Rowan saluted.

"Thanks for letting me get my wife," James said.

"Thanks for removing the stick up my arse and letting me get my future husband," Lily grinned.

"Thanks for being my home for the last seven years," Sirius blew a kiss to the castle.

"Thanks for educating me and not failing me completely. Hopefully." Peter crossed his fingers.

"You're going to do fine, I'm sure we all did fine," Marlene assured him.

"Thanks for accepting me for who I am," Remus said significantly. James exchanged a look at him and smiled.

"Thanks for every crazy, wacky, chaotic, emotionally distressing moment you've ever given us," Marlene finished.

"Cheers!" Rowan grinned.

* * *

The last train ride was as uneventful as the one they rode nearly nine months back was. The seven of them crammed themselves into the last compartment and nearly brought the Sweet Trolley Lady out with the amount of food they purchased. Sirius ended up falling asleep on Rowan's lap for the latter half of the trip and was mildly surprised to find them arriving at the train station so quickly.

"Well…" Sirius said stepping onto the platform with his messenger bag slung across his shoulder. He shoved his hands in his pockets and studied Rowan who adjusted her scarf.

"Well…" she mocked.

"This is stupid," he said feeling foolish. It wasn't the final goodbye. He wouldn't have to say that, hopefully, forever, to her.

"I know."

"We're going to see each other…in less than a week." He went on.

"I know that too."

"So why do I feel like a prat?" Sirius tipped his head up and studied the ceiling of the platform.

"Because you are one?" she teased.

"Shaddup. You're the maniac who sends herself to the Hospital Wing every other day."

"I'm gonna miss that Hospital Wing," she sighed.

"C'mon you lot, last kisses and hugs before we see each other again," Marlene said flinging her arms around the both of them. Rowan laughed and kissed her cheek affectionately as did Sirius.

"We'll see each other soon," Lily hugged Remus. James clapped Peter on the back and tousled Remus' hair.

"Bet your parents will be glad this is the last time I'm gonna be crashing with you until I find my own place which will be as soon as possible." Sirius grinned and waved to the Potters. They smiled and waved back at the pair of them happily.

"They'll miss you mate, I'll miss you. It's nice having someone around to goof off with," James said feeling a little sad that things were changing so fast so much.

"I'll miss you too Prongs. But hey! You get to move in with a girl! And it'll be your wife!" Sirius clapped his back reassuring him.

"I know. I just never thought it'd be so soon. I always thought you and I would room together or something after school, go through Auror training…"

"Yeah well. Life's a bitch and it has mood swings. Deal with it." Sirius replied.

"Ok well, there's my parents…oh good Petunia isn't with them. She's probably with that thing she calls her husband…Vernon…more like Vermin in my mind but whatever…" Lily said getting her trolly and going to her parents.

"There's Kol, I've gotta run too Sirius," Rowan said spotting her brother. She turned around and looked at him with soft eyes.

"I still feel as stupid as I did five minutes ago," Sirius exhaled facing her.

A crooked smile appeared on her face and she came closer to him and put her arms round his neck, one hand brushing the hair out of his face. Sirius relaxed his stance and he pressed his forehead against hers.

"I'll see you really soon, you know that right," she said softly.

"I know."

"Besides, we've got a lot on our plates to sort through before we go off to America," she said.

"Like what?" Sirius teased.

"The Baranbus Finkley Competition…where the hell I'm going to live, where' you're going to live…how I'm supposed to support myself…you know. Real world, boring, stuff."

Sirius smiled at this. Then he closed his eyes as he felt her soft lips on his and savoured the kiss for as long and as appropriately as he could in public. Too soon though, she broke away. Then she kissed a light kiss on his forehead and smoothed a finger over his brow.

"You know this isn't good bye Sirius. This is just the beginning. I'll see you very soon." She repeated.

"You better," he warned.

She laughed and stepped back from him shaking her head. "I promise you, I will,"

And with that she turned away and collected her things. Sirius watched her walk away with him and smiled fondly at her retreating back. She embraced her brother and the pair of them made their way towards exiting the platform. Just before she vanished, she turned and winked at Sirius before slipping through the barrier.

* * *

_A/N: Phew! Essentially part one of this fic is finally DONE! I can't believe I made it this far...anyway. Big days ahead I think. I'll be going on a little holiday starting Thursday so I don't know if I'll have enough time to bang out another chapter before then, but who knows? **Be good and review! xoxoxoxo**_


	54. In Limbo

_A/N: You guys...**I AM SO SORRY FOR HOW LONG THIS UPDATE TO COME!** Right, so I went off for my little holiday which was brilliant, but on my way back I became extremely ill so I've spent the last week or so holed up in bed with a fever and a cold and unable to do much, and staring at a screen when sick was next to impossible for me...anyway. I'm kind of better now, but they switched up my shift up at work so things are a bit topsy turvy but I'm going to try my best to get back on a tight writing schedule with consistent updates for you lot! Anyway, here we go:_

* * *

Sirius and Rowan had not been a couple for very long when they got into their first official fight.

And ladies and gentlemen, it was big. To say the least.

In the fortnight they had between leaving Hogwarts and departing for their holiday in America, everyone had been more or less rather busy. Peter called this the "limbo time", the in between time before everything starts up again.

Marlene, Remus, James, Lily and Sirius were all house hunting.

Remus wanted privacy, James wanted a house and Sirius wanted space.

Lily had gone on to make a general in the Wizarding Armed Forces proud and had gone all out in wedding planning mode with Sergeant Marlene McKinnon at her side, faithfully going through catalogues, looking at venues and other what not.

Rowan has devoted her entire time and energy towards the last rounds of practising for the Baranabus Finkly Competition which was going to happen in a couple of days. Her brother Kol stood by as her spotter in case she injured herself and her parents were packing up their things in order to go back to Romania with the rest of their relatives and friends until Voldemort and his followers were no longer targeting them.

Needless to say being this busy didn't prevent Sirius and Rowan from getting into their first fight. The first thing Sirius did after staying at the Potters for the first week was book a room at the Leaky Cauldron, wrench open the flat listing and then got his screwed over by terms he had no idea what they meant.

Flat listings, he soon found out, had a language of their own that he had yet to learn. He had no idea what the hell half ads meant and more often traipsed into flat showings and finding himself completely bowled over by the person who was showing the flat.

Rowan had thrown herself down in a booth at the Leaky Cauldron mentally and physically exhausted. Sirius came bounding down the stairs and grinned when he saw her tired face. Kissing her quickly he ordered drinks and food and observed her.

"You look like hell love,"

"Cheers to you to you too, git," she retorted sipping at her wine.

"So how's practice going?"

"As well as it can when there's only two days before the competition…how's the house hunting going?"

"Impossible. Finding a place to live is impossible and mind boggling." Sirius ranted.

"Better you than me, thank god Kol already found us a place,"

"He found us a place?" Sirius asked surprised.

Rowan gave him a strange look. "Yeah,"

"Well that's awfully nice of him," Sirius said feeling relieved and a little weirded out at the same time.

"Well yeah he's my brother, of course he's gonna help his little sister out and find her a place to live, plus it'll make my parents feel stressed knowing that we're going to be living together,"

"Wait, you're parents are cool with it? I thought they were all traditional and stuff!" Sirius interrupted.

"Sirius, we've grown up in the same house! We have essentially lived together for most of our lives,"

"Spending the last seven years at Hogwarts doesn't count of growing up and living together!" Sirius said loudly.

"What the hell are you talking about?"

"What the hell are you talking about?" he asked utterly lost.

"Kol and I…we're going to be living together. He found a little flat with two bedrooms and we're adding our own bathrooms and yadda yadda yadda."

"Whoa whoa whoa, you and Kol are living together?!" Sirius shouted slamming his tankard down on the table.

Rowan raised a brow. "Uh yeah? We're family and the only ones left here…"

"I thought you and I were going to live together!" Sirius exploded.

Rowan's mouth dropped open in surprise. "Why the hell would you think that?"

"We're together! Everyone else is shacking up!" Sirius threw up his hands.

"If everyone jumped off a cliff, would you do that too?" she tossed back. "Besides, we just got together, for crying out loud we're not getting married nor do I have any intention any time soon!" she added.

"But, but," Sirius sputtered.

"What 'but'? Sirius how can assume such things! There is no way we're living together!" Rowan said loudly.

"But you're going to be living with your brother! What about me?"

"Sirius, we both are people who like a lot of space, in fact, we like a lot of fucking space. If we live together, we're gonna be around each other all the bloody time, we will drive each other crazy and then we'll hate each other. Then we break up. Sirius Black, do you want to break up?!" Rowan said gesturing with her hands.

"No." Sirius muttered.

"Good cos I don't want to either. I kind of like you you know?" Rowan said grumpily.

"But..but…I want to be around with you. WE SHOULD MOVE IN TOGETHER!" Sirius yelled waving his wand causing sparks to fly out.

"What the hell are you two you yelling about?" Peter asked plunking himself down next to them. James and Remus joined them. Both look utterly bewildered.

"Apparently Rowan is going to live with her brother and not me," Sirius groused.

"So?" James asked as he waited for his drink to arrive.

"So?! We're together! We should be living together! All of you are living together!" Sirius said pointing fingers at Remus and James.

Remus shifted. "Erm…well maybe not anymore…"

Sirius' eyes widened. "What?! Why?!"

"We can't really agree on a place to live, I want a lot of privacy because of you know…and she wants to live in the city, in a flat and all that and we can't see eye to eye and I obviously can't tell her why I want privacy…"

"Remus John Lupin you haven't told her that you're a werewolf yet?!" Rowan hissed.

"…No…." he answered in a small voice.

Rowan swore and slapped the back of his head. He let out a yelp of pain and stared at her. "What the heck was that for?"

"You're even a bigger idiot that Sirius here is. Rule number one in relationships, you tell each other important things."

"Rule number two, you don't lie," she added.

"She'll hate me, dump my arse and never speak to me again," Remus said petulantly.

"Augh I can't talk to you anymore. Nor can I talk to you. You both are idiots. And I don't need your stupidity to infect me." Rowan stood up decisively. She tossed Sirius a withering stare and he stuck his tongue out her.

"Oh good that means you can come and take a look around at some bridesmaid dresses!" Lily announced appearing from nowhere with Marlene at her side.

"Where have you two been all day?" Rowan demanded.

"We've been cake tasting!" Marlene replied brightly.

"What?! And you went without me?" Rowan complained.

"Well…we're now going to go dress shopping," Lily said.

"Oh that sounds like a boatload of fun. You bring me in for this, and you know I despise dress shopping but nooooooo you leave me out for cake tasting!" Rowan said sarcastically.

"Rowan honestly tell me, would you eat any of the cake?" Lily said placing a hand on her hip referring to Rowan's dislike for sweets.

A pause.

"No…" Rowan muttered. "But seriously, why do I have to miss out on all the fun stuff? Cake tasting is still way more entertaining then dress shopping…well at least I have the hen's night out extravaganza to plan…"

"Oh yeah about that, there's not going to be a hen's night or anything like that…" Lily interrupted.

"WHAT?!" Rowan exploded clapping her hands on her head and staring at her friend incredulously. Remus stifled a titter as Rowan's face became increasingly grumpy as Lily began explaining why she wasn't indulging in a bachelorette party.

"Well at least let's go out and have a tea party in the woods and take some shrooms or something…"

"We are not going to go and have a party in the woods and do shrooms!"

"But we need to have some _FUN_!" The Marauders heard Rowan protest as she made her way out the door.

"That girl…" James said fondly.

"Yeah, that girl…the girl who doesn't want to live with me," Sirius muttered under his breath.

"Why doesn't she want to live with you again?" Peter asked sipping his beer.

"Cos apparently she thinks it'd be a terrible idea and that'd we break up after being around each other so much," he mumbled.

"Well…she does have a fair point, it is you two," James said reasonably.

This didn't sit well with Sirius. "See! Why the heck does everyone say that! What you all mean by "us two" what is wrong with us two?" he said loudly.

"You two are the most mercurial people I've ever had the pleasure of meeting. You two are both alpha males. Very independent, reckless, you both like a lot of space and stuff." James explained with a maddeningly patient air.

"And stuff?" Sirius echoed.

"And stuff," Peter reiterated.

"Oh yes. The _stuff_. Relationship killer," Remus sighed thinking of his own stuff.

"I despise the stuff," Sirius grumbled staring at the bottom of his empty tankard.

"But you if you really want to live with her…you know what you need to do?" Peter spoke up.

"Imperio her?"

"_Talk_ to her, you daft, daft prat." Peter sighed.

* * *

Marlene and Lily echoed the same sentiments to Rowan while they were examining potential bridesmaid dresses. In the week and half they had been out of school Lily had already made up a list that nearly had ten thousand things to do and it was never too early to scout out dresses when there was about two months till the big day.

"You girls…I just don't think it's a good idea. I do not want Sirius and I to go from an "I" to a "We"," Rowan sighed shoving aside a rack of dresses.

"You're not even looking!" Marlene protested.

"Stick me in a dress, in a kilt, in a bloody pyjama suit, whatever you bloody want, just don't put me in anything orange or lime green. I do not look good in those colours and when I wear neon colours or lime green, I look like a cheap tart,"

"As opposed to an expensive one?" Lily raised an eyebrow.

"If I'm going to degrade myself I might as well look like an expensive tart," Rowan grumbled.

Marlene giggled and studied a dress. "What do you think about this one Lils?"

"If you like it, do ahead and try it on," Lily said encouragingly.

"Well aren't you a cool as a cucumber bride…" Rowan laughed throwing herself down on a chair.

"I don't want to turn into one of those horrible monsters just because I'm going to be a bride," Lily replied in a haughty manner.

"That's what you say now…"

"Try this one on," Lily shoved a dress in Rowan's arms.

She made a face but went into the changing room anyhow. Irritated she shimmied into the dress and then made a face in the mirror. No. No. No. No.

"NO." Rowan said loudly through the door.

"Let me see,"

"This is horrendous," Rowan flung open the door and crossed her arms over her chest tightly.

"Let your arms down you silly goose, let me see,"

She let her arms dropped and stared crossly at her mate. Marlene and Lily broke out in gleeful smiles.

"You look hot as hell," Marlene grinned.

"Sirius would love you in this dress,"

"Of course he would! You can see my bloody knockers in this dress! It's too low." Rowan cursed.

"Darling, lesson number one in fashion, for you, nothing is too low," Marlene said in a matter of fact.

"And pray tell, me, why is that?"

"Because you've got bits that are…" Marlene floundered. Rowan stuck her tongue out. "Yes I know. Because I've got next to nothing bits, therefore I can wear clothes that make me look as trampy and tarty as possible. That's just bloody brilliant."

"When you're on a girl's night out and want to get some, then yes, it is quite brilliant."

"I already have some and I don't think Sirius would be too pleased if I brought some extra stuff along," Rowan wryly said.

"With Sirius I don't think you'd need any extra some, that boy has the looks of a Greek god," Lily said in a frank voice.

"You're engaged!"

"That doesn't mean I can't speak my opinions," she said serenely.

"Face it Rowan you're a lucky little minx," Marlene pointed out handing her another dress.

"You don't think I know that? Believe me, Sirius Black is….I can't think of enough words to aptly describe him, but seriously you don't think I know how bloody lucky I am. There are a million other girls who are infinitely better suited towards him, who don't try to blow themselves up on a daily basis or will run him into the ground. I still don't know what happened in Potions but why on earth Sirius wants to be with me still astounds me. Which is why I don't want to live with him. If we live together we will ruin each other." Rowan said at her wits end.

"Rowan, your level of self esteem astounds me. For someone who can kick a Slytherin's arse, say no to You-Know-Who, you sure have an awfully low level of self esteem in yourself. I do not approve." Lily said not impressed.

"It's not the same thing. I really care about Sirius. I don't want to make him unhappy. If he's around me all the time, believe me, I will make him unhappy. I make myself unhappy just being around my goddamn self all the bleeding time." Rowan cried out.

"Why?!" Marlene asked frustrated.

"Because she's manic depressive," Lily said quietly.

Marlene's mouth opened in surprise. "Pardon?"

"I'm a manic depressive. I go through periods of time where I'm happy, or ok, for some time then all of a sudden I become depressed for months at a time. You have no idea how hard it is, it maintain some façade to show off to everyone. If you ever saw me how I really am, none of would be able to be mates with me. My moods don't change in months, they change in days, hours even. Someday I just wake up sad and I have no idea why. When I'm depressed or very angry I get really violent and I inflict a lot damage on things."

Marlene didn't say anything. "And this doesn't want you to move in with Sirius because…"

"Because I don't need him to deal with me in my moods. When I'm in low periods or black moods, I like a lot of space. I don't talk to anyone, I don't like being with anyone or doing anything. I don't need to burden him down with my stupid stuff because he doesn't need any more on his plate. Plus I cannot financially support myself and if I shack up with him, it'd be as if I'm depending on him. And Rowan Forlani _does not depend on anyone_!" she said through gritted teeth pulling her regular clothes back on.

"You're mental you know that?" Lily shook her head.

"I'm independent. And I like it."

"No, you're not thinking of the big picture here Ro. Listen to me, you want to know why Sirius wants to live with you? Besides for the fact that you're together now and that he most likely loves you, he wants to be with you because you're one of his links to Hogwarts. And you know what Hogwarts was to him? His home. That place was his home for seven years, and for the last four and half years, you became apart of that home for him. He wants to make a home with you!" Marlene said impatiently.

Rowan just looked at her with a look of slight disgust on her face. "That's the most stupidly sentimental statement I've ever had the displeasure of hearing."

And then after a pause she added, "It's too soon. I'm not one of the girls who just jumps into things just cos she has a effin boyfriend."

"Oh and running off to the States for a two month holiday together isn't too soon?" Lily challenged.

"That's different. We were going to go as mates before, nothing is that different than going as a couple,"

"Oh Rowan….it makes a world of difference." Lily shook her head.

* * *

So everyone was stuck in their housing situation. Remus still hadn't told Marlene that was a werewolf, Lily and James had no idea what kind of house they wanted and Sirius and Rowan were still in a fight. It was a jolly good week for all parties around.

Rowan pushed all thoughts of housing and Sirius aside during the second week because at last, after waiting for so long, the Baranbus Finkley Competition had arrived. She had rented a room in the Leaky Cauldron for one night, not wanting to distract herself by bunking in with Sirius in his room, knocked herself out with a heavy sleeping position and slept for nearly nine hours.

She woke up feeling nervous and grim. Showering quickly, Rowan neatly tied back her hair in it's usual bun, replaced the numerous hoops in her ears with little studs and put on a little make-up. She shrugged on her nicest dress robe and then shoved her feet in her combat boots. Just because she was going to the bloody Wizarding Gamot did not mean she had to sacrifice her entire personality. Besides the dress robes were so long you couldn't see most of the boots.

Rowan bypassed saying good morning to Sirius seeing as she was still a little miffed at him and plus she did not want to wake him up, she tramped down the staircase and spotted Professor Dumbledore, (was he still to be called Professor Dumbledore? She wasn't in school anymore but Mr. Dumbledore sounded faintly ridiculous) sitting serenely at a table with a nice breakfast spread in front of him.

"Good morning Sir," she said a little timidly. She hated how she sounded. She was Rowan Forlani goddamnit. She cleared her throat and sat down across from him.

"Good morning Miss Forlani! How are you feeling?" He asked putting down the Daily Prophet.

"Nervous," she replied curtly.

"As one would expect. I recommend eating some breakfast. Settle your nerves. Help yourself," he pushed a plate of buttered crumpets towards her.

Rowan felt very odd sitting across from her former Headmaster eating crumpets and drinking tea. At some point he handed her an extra newspaper which she was grateful for.

Then there was nothing left but to go to the bloody competition. Finally the pair of them stood up and made their way out of the Leaky Cauldron, bidding Tom, the toothless innkeeper good bye. They walked briskly down the street and stopped by a dilapidated telephone booth. Dumbledore stepped in and pressed a few buttons. Rowan was a bit too preoccupied to notice the cool female voice that was speaking and was startled when Dumbledore pressed a badge into her hand. ROWAN FORLANI: COMPETITOR.

"What the hell is this for?" she asked pinning it to her dress robes anyway.

"Identification. The Ministry insists on it for security reasons," Dumbledore replied cheerfully.

"Oh yeah _security reasons_…" Rowan muttered as they descended underground.

She eyed the magnificent reception hall of the Ministry of Magic with a wary eye. There were a whole lot of official, busy looking people. Official busy looking people who kept an eye on the rest of the magical population.

She felt distinctively uneasy here but tried not to let her nerves get the best of her. She had bigger fish to fry than to worry about whether or not government workers were giving her the stink eye or not.

The voices in her head began to yammer as she followed Dumbledore blindly as he made his way expertly through the crowd. The pair of the remained silent as they entered the golden gated elevator.

"Just do your best Rowan," Dumbledore said in a mild voice as he led her down a long corridor.

Rowan didn't say anything, but merely lifted her eyes up at him. Although there was no smile on his face, his eyes were bright, hopeful. They had faith in her. her lips curved slightly. "I will,"

He nodded and bowed slightly at her before opening a heavy door for her. "Good luck,"

The room beyond the door appeared to be dimly lit, she could barely make out ethereal looking bodies moving about the room. But that was ok. She liked the dark. An enigmatic smile appeared on her face. "Time to play," she said striding in.

* * *

_A/N: Still trying to map out sequence of events for the Order and such, but we're getting there! I hope everyone has been well, **I would love to hear what you all think and if you have any ideas or suggestion, please let me know and review! :) xoxoxoxo**_


	55. Darkly Sweet

_A/N: Argh sorry sorry for taking a week to update this fic (for me that is an ungodly amount of time to wait between updates). Still things are really hectic at work with my new shift and I'm also looking for a new job as well, and that's a full time job itself you know. Anyway I trying to get myself on track, trying to flesh out this story and write it to the end.** As always, your support is just fantastic!**_

* * *

As she entered the dimly lit room, she felt the degree of the air drop, making her shiver slightly. If this was the Ministry's way of casting some mysterious aura over the idea that magic was really 'magic' and sacred then they were doing a good job of it; even if it felt a little bit of a ruse.

"Please step onto the platform," an ethereal voice commanded.

Christ, what was it and them trying to sound all fit and mysterious? Rowan thought as she stepped onto a platform. Glancing to her side, she saw that there were four other contestants also standing in a circle, all of their backs facing inwards, their faces looking up into the enigmatic sources of the voices. Then, on their own account, the platform began to move, so that they revolved slowly in the air.

This, Rowan thought disgustedly to herself, was disgusting, it was if they were sweets on display in a muggle cake shop, being revolved so that the buyer could see which was the most succulent and delicious looking sweet to buy. She had half a mind to create some kind of mini explosion to end this façade but kept her temper in check.

"Welcome to the 563rd Baranabus Finkly Competition for Exceptional Spellcasting. Each of you have been hand-picked by your schools, tutors and mentors to show the magical community how the limits of magic continued to be pushed and what new developments have been made.."

"You will each perform five spells of magic that you've created in front of us, and then part two, each of you will duel each other until the last one is standing."

_Survival of the fittest_, Rowan grimly thought as she figured out whoever was left standing and still in one piece, was the winner.

Rowan tuned herself out of the competition as she found out she'd be performing last. She watched critically as the first contestant stepped on the platform that the rest of them abandoned and turned to face the shadowy judges. He didn't speak, but instead raised his wand and conjured up millions of water bubbles that hovered in the air. Rowan raised her eyebrows, oooookkkaaayyyyy. Then with a flick of his wand, the water bubbles halved themselves by growing into bigger bubbles. Then he started stirring his wand as if he was stirring something in a crockpot very fast and the bubbles began swirling around him faster and faster and then suddenly with a large "bang!" the water exploded in and in place were hundreds of real life, glittering fairies. Surrounding him, they gave him a holy glow that he was silhouetted against.

Ok fine, she had to admit, that was a bit of special, beautiful magic. Rowan herself had always been drawn to the more edgier, darker, more straight-forward kind of magic, magic that could be useful in life or death situations. But she was a deep admirer of beauty and to see this kind of unique beauty in a spell was well,magical.

The first contestant repeated this process four more times, and Rowan quickly figured out that his aesthetic and style of magic were lyrical, beautiful and most of all, romantic. Everything was beautiful, no fiery explosions, thick screens of smoke or any those "side effects" when working with unknown magic. And while she could admire the sheer beauty of the magic and presentation, she didn't see any use of the magic the contestant was performing. If a death eater was chasing your ass, what good was it going to do by conjuring up fairies? Blind them to death with their pretty lights?

This process repeated itself five other times before it was finally her turn. With each contestant, Rowan was quick to identify the style and aesthetic of her competitions. So far there had been no one with a twisted mind as hers...this could be both a good thing and a bad thing. Although, there had been some spectacular displays of fire and explosions that had nearly unseated the nerves of the judges. She had contestant number three to thank for that.

And then finally, it was her turn. She felt as if she had been waiting a quarter of a century for this. Her hands were trembling slightly as she stepped onto the platform but she quickly clenched them into fists. Glancing up at the shadowy judge's corner, she tilted her head for a moment and studied the darkness up above her. A slight smirk made it's way on her face. Rolling up her sleeves she pointed her finger at the pitcher of water that was on a table along with a few other objects that each contestant was to have requested beforehand. with an effortless flick of wrist, the pitcher transformed into a magnificent, sleek, dark bird. The bird opened it's beak to make a sound, but with another wave of her index finger, no sound came out of the bird.

There was silence in the room, this was nothing spectacularly new to any of them, the only new part was the fact that she could do it without a wand. But she was not quite finished yet. Rowan turned in a circle as she let the bird walk around her in on the platform. an almost apathetic look came on her face as she raised her arm in a sweeping motion propelled the bird up in the air where it remained, suspended in mid air, just as she had done to Regulus nearly a year ago at duelling club.

The bird was helpless, and at her mercy, it couldn't move, twist, or turn. it could only blink. Rowan almost felt a shred of remorse for the poor bird but remembered that it was a pitcher transfigured. Then she lifted both her hands brought down the bird gently, before throwing an invisible handful of something at it.

Then, the bird became rooted to it's spot, its legs fused together and twisted around each other, the feathers started turning into bark, the wings began to transform into branches in which leaves began sprouting from it. Everyone watched in fascination coupled with mild horror as the bird began transforming into an olive tree, the feet becoming more twisted and gnarly as it rooted itself down, and then the face was the only thing left of the bird, and it had become petrified, leaving it perfectly intact, and forever etched in it's surprised expression.

With a careless wave of her hand, the tree disintegrated into dust. she turned her attention on the remaining magic she was going to show to them, and probably, scare them a bit. But that's ok. A little bit of ambiguous magic never hurt anyone.

If Rowan had describe the aesthetic and style of her magic, she'd immediately respond with the words "sleek", "efficient", "potent" and "potentially dangerous to receiver of it". Her style of magic corresponded fittingly to her personality which was _"don't fuck with me, otherwise I'll fuck you over ten times worse"_.

The rest of the magic she performed was brilliant, twisted, but brilliant and the judges couldn't help but lean forward and watch her take command of the natural elements such as water and fire and use her bare hands to perform the magic that she was doing. Somehow she had managed to create a celestial sky in the darkroom where it rained fire, leading the contestants to scurry back from the platform in case it spread to far. She had become so engrossed in what she was doing that she felt a sharp sense of loss when she finished performing her last bit of magic.

With a slight toss of her head she jumped off the platform. She had did her best, now all was left to do, was the fun part.

Duel everyone until she was the last one standing. And she would be the last one standing because she always was. _Always_.

"Bow to your partners," the judges ordered. Rowan bowed to her first partner, which happened to be the first contestant who had conjured up the fairies.

"Step ten paces back," Rowan lifted her head and an enigmatic smile appeared on her face. Her partner looked at her nervously. She winked at him.

"Wands on the count of three...one...two..._three_!"

"_Paralysis espite_!" Rowan roared in her head and pointed her finger at her poor partner. He collapsed in a heap on the ground, clutching his head with his hands as if it was on fire. He was unable to do anything, one of the judges looked over at him and saw his watch. "One...two...three...four...five..." Rowan mentally counted and the judge signalled that her opponent was finished.

And he was down for the count. Five others left.

Her other opponents were tougher and she really had to bust her arse on trying to outmanoeuvre them against her, and one of them was incredibly god at non verbal spells, he had nearly knocked Rowan out of the competition with a lethal magical combination of the jelly-legs curse and the furnunculus curse. But she managed to think straight and raised her boil and hive covered arm and shout "_Flipendo Duo"_ in which a mini tornado came out of nowhere and blasted him off his feet and off the platform. She felt sweet, sweet relief when his curses were lifted off her since his concentration had been broken.

The duelling was the most exhausting part and she suddenly felt very thankful for all the years she had spent in Duelling Club. This, she reasoned was where the judges really saw how their magical capabilities stacked up once they had to be on their feet. There was some interesting spell work, to say the least, but definitely none as so much interesting and twisted as Rowan's was. She was doing magic without a wand that they had never seen before. The judges were also impressed by the way she moved; she moved effortlessly as she weaved in and out, twirling away out of hexes and curses, she was like smoke, elusive, shadowy and no one really seemed to be able to capture or her do grievous bodily harm to her.

They heard her laugh, a husky, dark laugh, as the last opponent threw a disarming hex at her. One of the judges leaned so far down that he was close to falling off his seat, and his eyes widened as he saw her block it effortlessly with her hand as she said "Is that the best you've got?"

* * *

The first thing Rowan did after she staggered out of the Ministry of Magic with the ten thousand galleons in a neat sack was totter right up to Gringrotts and deposit a good chunk of into her savings account.

The second thing she did was take a few galleons out and ask the Goblins working there to convert them into muggle money. Then she divvied up the remaining amount into little accounts for various things she needed. After crunching some numbers and with the Goblin's assistance she managed to make a good budget for the things she needed or wanted to do.

The third thing she did pierce her left eyebrow.

It was something that she had always wanted to do, but had to wait until after school to do it. She was very lucky she got away with her nose ring and multiple ear piercings, something she knew that bothered McGonagall. Over the years some professors had docked a few points from her because of her piercings and the fact that it didn't really meet school dress code.

She also wanted to get a tattoo, but that was reserved for the day she turned eighteen, July 17th which was in less than a month. For now, the eyebrow piercing was enough.

Rowan had ducked into a muggle piercing and tattoo shop, got the anaesthetic applied to her eyebrow and then promptly felt her nerves shatter as it got pierced. She had winced and cringed but it was temporary pain and it was worth it. She felt herself smirk a little as she made her way back to the Leaky Cauldron.

On her way back she had ample time to think over things and made some important life decisions. Rowan felt exhausted, elated and apprehensive of where her life would go from here.

Rowan was unsurprised to see the gang settled at a table in the Leaky Cauldron with various drinks in front of them and food. She glanced at her pocket watch. It was seven in the evening. Whoops. She had spent an awful amount of time puttering about in the muggle world apparently.

"Evening," she said throwing herself down into a chair next to James.

He widened his eyes and spat out a mouthful of his drink. Rowan made a face and dabbed her face with a napkin.

"What the hell did you do to your face?!" he sputtered.

The rest of them craned their nicks and Marlene's mouth dropped open. Peter covered his eyes and Sirius cocked his head to the side. Interesssssstttingggg.

"I pierced my eyebrow," Rowan replied placidly studying the menu trying to decide what she wanted to eat.

"Why on earth would you do that?" Lily cried.

"'Cos I can," she answered as she eyed her drink gratefully.

"You know Rowan, sooner or later that rule of life of yours is going to get you into a shit ton of trouble," Remus shook his head.

"My funeral!" she said cheerfully.

"So how many piercings do you have now?" Peter sighed.

"Seventeen and counting. Only three more until twenty,"

"You're absolutely bonkers,"

"So are the rest of you. Sirius has tattoos and you don't make a big deal out of them,"

"Yes but he's not tatted up to high heavens! He's got like…two," James exclaimed.

"Three now," Sirius corrected.

The group whipped their heads and stared at him. Rowan felt a smile creep on her face. "You got another one?!" Remus cried.

"Yup," Sirius replied popping the "p".

"Why?!"

"Like Ro said, because I can. I'm financially stable, plus it was a little "good job for finishing school without dropping out or anything" kind of present to myself."

"Where is it?" Marlene asked interestedly. Lily shoved an elbow in her side and Marlene gave her an apologetic look.

"Lower chest, towards the side and no you cannot see it right now. It's still all red and tingly from getting inked last week." He said sternly.

The girls pouted and Rowan rolled her eyes. She had finally decided on what she wanted for dinner and placed her order.

"So again, why did you pierce your eyebrow?" Peter pressed her.

"Because I can, and I could afford it."

"Afford it?" Lily echoed confused.

"What's that supposed to mean? Don't tell me you got a job as an exotic dancer. What would all of our former teacher say?!" James cried.

"No you prat. I did not become an exotic dancer. I am financially stable now. For awhile. Or until I run out of money. Whenever that is."

"And how, may I ask, are you financially stable now?" Remus inquired.

"Because I won ten thousand galleons," she answered quieter.

"WHAT?!" they cried out in unison.

"You won?! You won what?!" Marlene asked standing up.

"You won the Barnabus Finkley Spell Casting Award! Congratulations! I am so proud of you!" Sirius said forgetting about the current fight they were in. He jumped out of his seat and ran around to hug her. Rowan broke out in a smile and hugged him back tightly and he pressed a kiss on her forehead.

"You won?! Oh my goodness, Rowan this is such good news! That's such a prestigious award!" Lily exclaimed also hugging her.

"Thank you!" Rowan replied flushed with pride.

"Well look at you, little Miss Badass, all pierced and the winner of one the most reputable awards in the magical world," Remus said genuinely happy for his mate.

James was so proud and pleased with Rowan that he ordered a round of champagne for everyone on him and gave a toast to Rowan, to all of them and their future. It was a happy night for all of them and they spent most of the night laughing, talking, eating and generally being a group of normal young adults enjoying the fact that they had finished school and were entering the next stage of their life.

* * *

Later on that night, Rowan knocked quietly on Sirius' door and was relieved when he answered with an easy smile.

"Hey," she said softly.

"Hey yourself, come in," Sirius stood and ushered her for to come in. "The room is in a bit of a tizzy, sorry bout that,"

Rowan waved a hand. She sat down gingerly on the bed and studied the night sky outside of the windows. Sirius threw himself down beside her and tapped her thigh.

"Sucks to be fighting eh love?" he said.

"Yeah it does. I don't like fighting with you." She grumbled.

"But we're still on for the States yeah?"

"Course. That's the one thing I'm looking forward to right now. That and the fact that I'm relieved that I'm financially stable now."

"I'm really happy that you are, truly Rowan. This is a good thing for you, it'll make working for the Order less stressful," he said reasonably.

"Yeah. And it'll make living in general less stressful," Rowan flopped back and stretched.

"I like your eyebrow piercing by the way," Sirius said sidling up and facing her on his side.

She turned and faced him too, a small smile on her face. "Oh yeah?"

"It suits you. I think it looks sexy." He said decisively.

Rowan burst out laughing and she lightly whapped his arm. "May I see your new tat?"

"Is this an excuse just to see me shirtless? You know that now that you're my girlfriend you have permission to see my shirtless any damn time love," Sirius grinned.

Rowan narrowed her eyes and she poked Sirius' chest. "Sirius sometimes you're too cocky for your own good,"

"You love it," he shrugged.

Rowan smiled at this, thinking that she indeed did love it. It was part of his charm, his personality. "Let me see!" she insisted.

"Fine, fine, fine," he huffed tugging his shirt over his head. He sat up and twisted a little bit so she could see.

She immediately itched to touch it, trace her fingers over the tattoo design. But she knew it was still sore and that he had to rub petroleum jelly over it twice a day.

"It's beautiful," she said sincerely. And it was. Sirius had gotten an intricate tribal pattern tattooed up the side of his left side, it crept all the way up his left side nearly to his chest, and then it sprawled a little in the front hovering above his left hip.

"You want to touch it, dontcha?" Sirius sniggered.

"I do, but I know better not to,"

"Good girl," he patted her head patronisingly. She stuck her tongue out at him but nonetheless traced her fingers over his collarbones and other tattoos.

He studied her curiously; she was in a funny mood tonight. "Something on your mind love?"

"Can I rub the petroleum jelly on you?" she asked suddenly.

Sirius had to take a minute to process what was going on. She had switched tracks very fast. "Erm, um sure. If you'd like to."

"I'd like to," she replied quietly.

"It's on the dresser," he motioned towards the bureau.

Rowan got up and fetched the petroleum jelly. Carefully, she started applying it over his tattoo.

She wasn't so much as carefully applying as she was almost tenderly applying it. Something was definitely amiss. Oh god, he thought mentally face palming himself. She was gonna break up with him!

"If you're going to break up with me, you shouldn't be so goddamn nice and just rip off the band aid." He grumbled.

Rowan gave him a sharp look. "Pardon?"

"You're being spotty. You're going to toss me now aren't you?"

"Sirius you're a real tosser. I have no intention of breaking up with you. Now. Or any time soon." Rowan rolled her eyes and continued to rub in the cream.

"Then why are you so nice to me?"

"'Cos." She muttered.

"'Cos why?" he insisted.

"'cos I'm bloody lucky to have you all right? Now shut up and don't say anything about me being sentimental." She growled. She threw the tub of petroleum jelly across the room where it bonked off the bureau.

"Oh. So this living thing…when do you move in Kol?" Sirius asked switching tracks very fast.

"I'm financially stable now. I can get my own place technically." Rowan said not looking at him.

"Are you serious?" Sirius said annoyed.

"Or I could just rent out one of your spare bedrooms if you get a two bedroom place," she said softly not sure how to walk into this conversation.

"Hold it, you make a big deal about us not living together and now you want to rent a room from me? What the hell woman? You're mad."

"Well I wouldn't exactly be living in that room…all the time. Just when I'm tinkering on magic…or when we're in a tiff and we need some space. Or you know. When I'm being an idiot."

"And where would you be living the rest of the time?" Sirius asked sarcastically and a little bit confused.

"Well…if you still want to…I guess I dunno. Perhaps share a bed with you? I promise, I will bring my own blankets and quilts because I have to admit I do like hogging them," she said not quite meeting him in the eye.

"You want to live together? Are you shitting me?" Sirius asked incredulously.

"We could give it a go I suppose," she said tentatively.

"What made you change your mind?" he demanded.

Rowan shrugged. "I'm financially stable now, so I don't feel quite like I'm depending on you, and I don't know. Lily and Marlene talked to me and blahblahblahblah and well, do you want to live together or not?!" she huffed.

"Of course I do!" Sirius exclaimed.

"But," she warned.

"Oh god I knew there was a 'but'. There's always a 'but'" Sirius moaned.

"But there has to be some rules, some ground rules otherwise we will end up killing each other," she talked over him.

"Such as what?"

"Rule number one, I want a second bedroom cos once in a while I'm going to need some space cos otherwise when I'm practising magic I'm gonna loose our rent deposit."

"Fine. Makes sense."

"And two, we have to have a toaster and a microwave." She said authoritatively.

"What the fuck is a microwave?" Sirius asked utterly bewildered.

"Oh believe me mate, it's awesome. You're gonna love it. So wherever we live, we're gonna have to have electrical outlets,"

"Electical _what_?" he asked confused mispronouncing the word.

"Trust me we're gonna need them," she said solemnly.

"Love I'm not gonna question what made you change your mind about us living together but I am gonna question your sanity. If you electrocute us or cause us to die, I'm gonna haunt the fuck out of you in the afterlife,"

Rowan tipped back her head and laughed. "That's fine. I'd owe you anyway."

"Too right you will, c'mere," Sirius ordered and she obliged. He kissed her hard and Rowan wrapped an arm around his neck, unconsciously swinging a leg over his hip.

As James both rightfully said, both had alpha male complexities so whenever they ended up snogging each other, it always inevitably ended up with both of them fighting for control, for dominance, trying to get the other to loose control first. So far they had both won and loss some battles, but Sirius had to admit, Rowan was more experienced in certain areas that he had never ventured to.

Rowan however mentally swore a blue streak when Sirius' clever mouth found that sweet spot on her neck and shivered pleasurably as she felt his teeth on her skin.

Her hand tightened in his locks and she growled. Damn Sirius for having a clever mouth and even smarter hands! She was very aware of his hands travelling all over her body, gripping her back, cupping her breasts. She felt quite smug about this. So smug that she let him roll them over so he was on top of her nestled between her legs.

His mouth grew hungrier, his kisses more demanding. More. She thought. She needed to have more.

Rowan was exceptionally pleased that he was shirtless and when he she felt his fingertips skim her skin underneath her own blouse, she reached for it impatiently and dragged it over her head.

She felt him still in his movements and looked at him with darkened eyes. "What?"

"You took your shirt off," he said dumbly.

"You're shirtless," she said plainly.

"But you've never been shirtless."

"So?"

"So?! The first time I get to see a real live girl's naked knockers, you bet your arse I'm gonna stop and look." Sirius exclaimed.

"This is your first time seeing a half naked girl?" Rowan found this hard to believe.

"Ha, ha, ha. A _real_ one. Pictures don't count. Nor do works of art. Although I have to admit, Venus does have some great ta ta's." Sirius said thoughtfully.

Rowan started chuckling and stretched out her arms overhead, preening a bit. "Look away mate. You know, you also have the right to touch them too,"

"I know! I'm appreciating them. Let me be a bloke for a moment would you?"

"Sirius, _believe_ me, I know you're a bloke," she muttered. It took Sirius a minute to understand what she was referring to.

Once Sirius had his fill of looking (and touching for a good measure or so), he was even more surprised that after they had exhausted themselves from blowing way past second base (which they had done frequently ever since they had gotten together, bypassing niceness and politeness right from the start) when Rowan casually stripped off the rest of her clothes and slid into bed.

"Are we in a post apocalyptic universe?" Sirius asked after brushing his teeth and standing at the bed.

"Love we're gonna be going off to the States for nearly two months, sharing beds in hostels all over the place cos we're cheap cos of principle and we're gonna be shacking up together. Plus, we have shared a bed before," she pointed out.

"Yes, but not with you naked," he pointed out. Rowan smirked at him. "Does that bother you?"

"No. I sleep in my boxers nearly 100% of the time, I'm just asking because before you made a big deal about sleeping in the same bed together, and that was clothed."

"Yes but we weren't together then, that's different," she said in a haughty voice.

Sirius let out a bark like laugh and shook his head. Nonetheless he climbed into bed and drew her close to him. She gave him a crooked smile and kissed him before turning over.

He didn't say it then, but he knew that the words were going to come out their own, very, very soon. He couldn't hold the words in him any longer. All he could do was hope he wouldn't make himself look like a complete prat and say it at a somewhat right moment.

* * *

_A/N: Aaaahhh I do love bringing out the sweet dark notes in Rowan's character. Expect a lot more of those notes to appear as time goes on. I hope to update much sooner than next week. **Please review! xoxoxox**_


	56. Chasing Summers

_A/N: Shame on me for not updating sooner! -.- As always thanks for your support and reviews._

* * *

Regulus rolled over and stared at the canopy of his bed. The curtains were still drawn and it was dark and cool in the room. His grey eyes flickered to the clock on the opposite wall. He sighed. It was a quarter past one.

In the afternoon.

He had been home for nearly a fortnight and he had spent his days holed up his room, sleeping for nearly half the day. His mum was worried about him, his father did not really pay attention to it, saying this was teenage behaviour.

He had ignored owls from his mates, shutting himself inside himself, further and further, sinking into a quiet type of depression.

He was in a state of emotions that he hated, he felt weak and sad and very, very miserable. Regulus shut his eyes again and then nearly roared in frustration.

He saw her when he was awake, staring out of the windows, watching the world outside. He saw her when he was staring back it himself in the mirror when he was brushing his teeth. He saw her whenever he closed his eyes, in his dreams, when he was waiting for sleep to overcome him, she was there.

Regulus and Sirius may have been the brothers and may be as different as the sun and the moon, but even the sun and the moon had commonalities. Both Sirius and Reglus had similarities that they shared, their unwavering loyalty to their loved ones, their devilishly good looks and among other things, Rowan.

For Sirius, Rowan was his mercurial star in the sky, burning bright and hot, always shining, sparkling in his dark skies. She was his light in the world of darkness that he had so willingly charged into, fully aware of what he was putting himself into, but at the same time, very grateful for the exclusive beacon of light he had to guide him.

However, for Regulus, Rowan was an entirely different entity in the cosmos for him.

She was a dark hole in the cosmos that he felt like he was increasingly getting lost in. she was this force of nature, something so deep, so dark and so magnetic that he could not stop himself from drifting closer and closer to it.

And then, he'd be sucked into the dark masses, into oblivion, and he'd never be able to come back.

The images kept playing in his mind, like a film strip that was constantly on repeat.

He had seen them, on the last day of term, when they had disembarked from the train. Of course, they hadn't seen him, no one ever really did. He was the shadow on the walls, the appeared and faded with the sun.

His brother had his arms around her waist and she was standing so close to him, then she had kissed him and Regulus felt something inside him break.

He was not going to lie, at some point during the last four months, he had crossed over the line into fancying her and he knew that he would never be the one to be on the receiving end of that look she had given Sirius. And that thought made him realise just how radically different their lives were.

Whenever he shut his eyes, the damned scene of the Room of Requirement played in his head. The one where he had effectively shoved her into his brother's arms.

He had lied to her, of course. He had to lie to her, because he knew that there would be no possible future for them. Ever. But still. The moment she had said, "someone like you", there was a part of him that really wished it could have been him.

They were on different paths in this life, and now they were on different sides of war. He really hoped he did not have the misfortune of meeting her face to face anymore given the situations he was being put in.

* * *

That summer, Sirius was the happiest he had ever been, and would ever be in his unfortunate life when he was tramping across America with Rowan. In two weeks, a lot of changes happened to not only him, but everyone in their little group.

They decided that they shouldn't have to give up their entire holiday time just because of the fact they joined the Order of the Phoenix and instead of taking off for eight weeks, they decided to cram everything into two weeks and then return home for training.

On July 1st, they cheerfully bided their mates good bye and queued up to take the Port Key they had reserved tickets too which would take them to New York City. Armed with youth, a map, and a crumpled piece of parchment that Lily and Rowan had written all the things down they wanted to do and the placed they had to see. With their all their belonging neatly crammed into two reasonable backpacks that Rowan easily made even smaller with a wave of her wand, they departed with no expectations and great spirits.

When Sirius first opened his eyes in New York he was immediately struck by the height of the buildings. Everything was .tall.

Rowan took him to a big concert where he was immediately assaulted by the sheer noise of the music that was punk. For the first, and last time, Sirius was smack dab in the centre of the mosh pit. It was an experience he did want to repeat. He couldn't understand why Rowan enjoyed being smashing into a bunch of sweaty and smelly bodies.

They went all the way up to the Empire State building, strolled through Central Park and then went to upstate New York and went to see where Woodstock had taken place ten years back.

From New York they made their way down to Boston and Philadelphia, enjoying the peacefulness of those old towns and then traipsed down to Washington DC, the capital of the country. It was hot, muggy and full of politicians. Sirius dragged Rowan to more than one protest that other young people were apart of just because it was on the list. (Lily had put it on there). Rowan thought protests were pointless but went anyway.

After exhausting themselves in DC, they travelled down to the deep south and cooled themselves down by drinking galleons of the South's signature sweet ice tea and Sirius enjoyed tasting the many types of pies they had. They visited Atlanta and saw some of the battlefields of the Civil War, then they said hello to New Orleans where life was one great party every day of the damn week.

At last they reached California and Rowan fell in love with Los Angeles. Sirius personally enjoyed San Francisco more as it was cooler and more peaceful but he liked California a lot.

For the first time in his life, Sirius tried psychedelics. He had smoked weed a handful of times, when he was sixteen and hadn't thought much of it. But when Rowan told him about acid and mushrooms and a thing called ecstasy which wasn't an psychedelic, but rather an upper instead, he was very intrigued.

Sirius would never tell Remus, Peter or Lily this, but he enjoyed psychedelics. It was fun tripping on them and he felt his mind being opened up and out a lot more. He had shied away from ecstasy though, preferring to observe Rowan instead as she rolled when they went to the outdoor festivals and concerts that littered California.

Somewhere between their time in Denver and Los Angeles, Rowan's birthday occurred, on July 17th. They had celebrated with fireworks, cake, champagne and tripping on acid then Rowan took off all her clothes and then he felt her hard, sleek body clamping over his until he couldn't take it any longer and took control.

All he could see was a tangle of legs, lips, skin and dark curls. Her hands were everywhere, her lips were _everywhere_, there was no patch of skin that was neglected.

The first time it was fast, rushed, and a little less than graceful. It was two years overdue (in Sirius' mind) and he finally, finally got to see what he had fantasized in his head from time to time turn into a reality.

After that, they took their time, slowed down, letting their hands linger longer, touch more leisurely. They made love languidly, until they were too exhausted to do anything else, passing out next to each other on the bed.

She had ignited a flame within him, a flame that was inextinguishable, a flame that made Sirius crave her more and more and since that day for the remainder of that holiday they spent a considerable amount of time shagging each other senseless.

Sirius was very, very appreciative that Rowan had a sexual drive that matched his. She was a young man's wet dream sprung to life, always willing, always ready, and very keen on doing new things. They spent the remainder of their holiday soaking up sun, getting tanned, meeting wacky and weird people and making their way back to New York. Too soon though the wonderful and hazy two weeks had come to an end and they regretfully packed up their backpacks and queued up once again, this time in New York City to take the Port Key back to London. Sirius had gripped her hand tight and she gave him that look she often had given him during their school days, the look that was a mixture of mischievousness and seriousness. It was so funny, Sirius had mused then, she always seemed so elusive yet so close to him, a mercurial little star that was up there, close enough to know the vision of it very well, but still far enough to never really get to touch it. He knew that whatever they would face when they returned home, they would face it together head first.

* * *

It was official.

He was in Hell. He was in the fifth or sixth circle of hell.

"I CAN'T TAKE THIS ANYMORE!" James roared as he suffered through his ten thousandth tuxedo fitting that week.

"I can't take _you _anymore," Remus groaned slumping further in his chair still in his tuxedo pants.

"Why are you getting married again?" Peter asked as he looked over some last minute lists Lily had shoved at him. He didn't quite remember signing up for Team Bride.

"I don't know," James grumbled.

"When does Padfoot come back? I need to kill him for missing the hell that we're suffering through thanks to you," Remus said darkly.

"Don't ask me. They'll be back when they're back," James muttered.

"So does everything fit properly?!" Marlene bounded over.

"Why are you so chipper?" Remus asked raising an eyebrow.

"I've had about ten cups of coffee in me so I'm caffeinated to the max," Marlene explained.

James muttered darkly under his breath and twisted around. "Why the hell do I have to wear a tuxedo anyway? I should get a prize for just showing up!"

"Weren't you the one who decided to propose to her and get married?" Peter pointed out.

"I don't like it when you're reasonable Wormtail," James grumbled. Peter grinned.

"So answer the question, does it fit properly?" Marlene persisted.

"It does. I feel fine. A bit ridiculous but fine. Can I take this blasted thing off now?" James tugged at his tie.

"If it fits properly then yes, take it off." Marlene nodded to the tailor who was nearby.

"So what's next on the list?" Remus peered over Peter's shoulder once they were standing outside.

"Tuxedo fittings, deflating James' head, checking over the floral arrangements, making sure we have a final headcount, asphyxiating myself or rendering myself temporarily speechless for the next fortnight, going over your vows, the rehearsal dinner…"

"Pardon me, the what?" James sputtered.

"The rehearsal dinner? You know the stupid thing that they make you do right before your wedding, which is essentially a practice run of the actual big day? And we're pretty much all dressed up the same as we're going to be in the following twenty-four hours?" Peter said.

"No before that, the what?"

"The vows?" Remus asked confused.

"Yes, what vows?!" James cried.

"James don't tell me you forgot about writing your vows!" Marlene said stunned.

"I don't even know what the hell vows are!" James said panicking.

"Oh good god. Crisis mode. Ok. Well rule number one on the list of one hundred and fifty things you're not allowed to do when you're best mates are getting married, don't tell Lily that you haven't done anything," Marlene said trying to inject some humour.

"Also on that list is, 'never say 'big deal' to the bride," Peter added having learned the hard way.

"I need to go write my vows!" James dashed into the Leaky Cauldron and was followed by them.

"Talk about good timing, 'llo there Prongs," Sirius said grinning as he turned away from Tom the Innkeeper who he had been chatting with.

"PADFOOT!" James flung his arms around his best mate and Sirius stumbled back, struggling to breathe.

"Need. Air," he rasped.

"I need you. RIGHT NOW!" James said loudly shoving Sirius up the stairs.

"Oi! What are you doing?" Sirius yelped casting a helpless look at Rowan who was still with Tom. She gave him an amused smile and shook her head.

"I'm getting you to help me with something very important," James hissed as he tramped up the stairs. The rest of the Marauder's followed him.

"You're back! Thank god!" Marlene cried. Lily had been with Sirius and Rowan earlier and had filled them in with everything they had missed in the last two weeks or so. So far Rowan had her ear talked off with wedding mumbo jumbo.

"I'm starting to think that returning now was not such a good idea," Rowan playfully said hugging her.

"What's going on with James? He looked like he was going into the Forbidden Forest." Lily said looking for Marlene for an explanation.

"He's in a bit of a tizzy right now, nothing to worry about." Marlene covered smoothly.

"Let me see the list. I just want to make sure that we've covered everything that I need to on time," Lily said.

Marlene handed her a copy of the list that had been magically synchronized with the other lists. There was a good deal of scribbling, red lines and smiley and frowning faces along with some other doodles. Lily's eyes scanned the list and then they widened. Her mouth dropped open.

"Something amiss?" Rowan asked unaware of what the last weeks had been like for everyone.

"I haven't written my vows yet!" Lily whispered horror struck. Marlene slapped her forehead.

"Oh Merlin, not you too!" she exclaimed exasperated. Lily looked up and narrowed her eyes.

"Whaddaya mean 'not you too'?" Lily demanded.

"You and James are really meant for each other, both of you have appeared to do missed doing the most important things, writing your vows!" Marlene huffed.

"Oh hell," Lily moaned.

"Relax. We've got time. Let's just get it done now. How hard can it be? It can't be more difficult than NEWTS." Rowan said sensibly having no idea what she was in for.

* * *

She was wrong. It was a hell of a lot harder to scribble out vows than it was studying for the NEWTS.

"Augh think you guys, think!" Lily cried tapping her quill against the parchment repeatedly.

"If you don't stop tapping that bloody quill I am going to take it and shove it down your throat," Rowan growled with her head down on the table.

"Just write about what you love about him," Marlene said munching on some crisps.

They had been sitting at the pub for nearly an hour now and they had gotten nowhere. Rowan could feel the beginning of a tension headache in her temple and wished she were back in California. She definitely did not sign up for this.

"Just say what's in your heart. And your head." Rowan mumbled.

"That's the problem! I have nothing in my head!" Lily said hysterically.

"Lily, you were Head Girl for a reason, your head is never empty!" Rowan protested.

"Why don't you start off with something simple, easy, such as..James, from the moment I met you, I knew that I loved you," Marlene suggested.

"That's good!" Rowan piped in helpfully. However Lily shook her head. "Yeah…I don't think I can do that…cos that'd be a lie." She said glumly.

"Why?"

"Because the moment I met James I wanted to shove him in a broom closet!" Lily confessed. Marlene tittered.

"What about…James, even though we reached a tentative peace agreement, deep down I knew I always wanted something more?" Rowan suggested.

"Nope…. I don't think so either….OOOOO, are we allowed to lie in the vows? Then that would work!" Lily said hopefully.

Silence.

"…Yeah I don't think you can lie in your vows Lil…"

"Damnit."

"How about…you say something about…all the things that he's taught you—" Marlene was cut off by the sarcastic looks of Lily and Rowan.

"Or rather…all the things you taught him?" she amended.

"Better," Rowan snorted.

* * *

Back upstairs in the room that James had rented leading up till the wedding, the boys were facing a similar conundrum.

"Lily…there are absolutely no words…" James said with his tongue beneath his teeth as he wrote something out. Sirius nodded at him encouragingly then frowned when he stopped.

"What?"

"THAT'S THE PROBLEM! THERE ARE NO WORDS!" James bellowed crumpling the piece of parchment and throwing it behind it. It landed in the growing stack of rejects.

"This should not be so hard!" He slapped another piece of parchment on the table and then held the quill up, willing for the words to magically come out of their own.

"How about…" Sirius trailed off as he flopped down on the bed. "Lily, when I look back on our time together…"

"Oooh yeah that's good!" James said scribbling it down. Then he looked up and waited for Sirius to continue. Sirius gave him an indignant look. "Well!?"

"What well?! Look back on your time together! I can't do everything for you!" Sirius huffed putting a pillow over his face.

"Ok. Let's just get the basics. What do you love about her?" Remus asked trying to change tactics.

"That she's daft enough to put up with my stupidity?" James said meekly.

"Yeah cos that would sound _so_ sweet in a wedding…" Peter rolled his eyes.

"Other than that…"

"She's smart. Beautiful. Passionate."

"So are a load of other chicks! What do you love about her that makes her different from the other ten thousand smart, beautiful girls out there!" Sirius said loudly.

"Well they're not all like Lily! Lily makes me want to be a better man!" James shouted at his wit's end.

"WRITE THAT DOWN!" Remus yelled pointing to the parchment. "That's a start!"

James scribbled it down and then tipped back in his chair. "Lily. This is so hard. I can't be serious about this."

"So don't. Make it funny!" Peter suggested.

"Mate Lily will kill you if you make your vows funny," Sirius warned.

"What about saying…Lily from the moment I saw you, I knew that I loved you, cos that's true isn't it?" Remus snorted.

James muttered something. "Yeah….not quite…"

"What!?" Sirius sat up and looked at his mate surprised.

"Yeah…I don't think I fell head over heels in love with Lily from the moment I met her…cos only crazy people do that…"

"So are you telling me the Great English Love Story is…is LIE!" Sirius cried.

"No! I'm just saying that I didn't love her right away. I knew that I was attractive to her but the moment where I realised I actually, really, really fancied her? Sometime in our sixth year." James confessed.

"Are you shitting me?" Peter asked doubtfully.

"Nope. Looking back, I realise why she always turned me down before that, I was just asking her out cos she was pretty and well I was a prat and girls in the school liked me. I just wanted her attention. Annoying her amused me, but I know why she didn't go out with me before then. If I was a girl I wouldn't go out with me either." James said thoughtfully.

"So what changed? When did you realise you actually liked her?" Remus asked interested.

James smiled. "It was sometime during our sixth year, maybe in the early spring? Anyway. I was going to talk to Professor Flitwick about something, something about an extra assignment to make up for something. Anyway. I go in and Lily's there showing Flitwick something.

She had a fishbowl in front of her. I think she was tinkering on some spell or something, anyway, on top of the surface was a flower, it was pink and orange. Then she waved her wand and the flower sunk beneath the surface and it turned into a fish, pink and orange.

It was so…magical. So beautiful. I can't explain it. But it was not so much the beauty of the charm that she was performing, but it was how she looked during that particular moment.

It was in the afternoon, and the sun was streaming in through the windows, her eyes were perfectly focused, her expression…it was so quiet, so serious, but her eyes were sparkling, I thought it was so…weird. Two very different expressions, but it suited her so perfectly. It's as if that expression summed up everything about her, in every word possible.

Her head was so red in the sun, and there was a stray lock that was curled around her cheek and jaw, and I dunno mates. She just looked so, so perfect." James finished.

The rest of the boys fell very quiet.

Then after a moment, Sirius said. "Prongs…that's really beautiful and everything…but if you want to be the one to keep your nuts…then you can't say that in your vows without wanting to sound like a sap,"

"Amen," Peter agreed.

"But it's so nice!" Remus protested.

"Ok…so when did you want to know that you wanted to marry her?" Sirius sighed.

"When I realised that life utterly sucked without her. I can't really explain it. I can't really explain anything. And I know that it's lame and I'm going to be the worst groom ever and this will be the worst vow in the history of weddings but all I know is that I love her and I want to be with her and that I want to take care of her and she makes me want to be a better person. In every way possible. She makes me happy and that's enough. I shouldn't have to explain it."

"THAT'S IT!" Sirius yelled jumping up and down on the bed.

"What's it?" James asked clueless. Peter nearly slapped him for his stupidity.

"That's what you should say Prongs! That's perfect. It's so you!" Remus exclaimed.

"Oh bugger…what did I say again?" James asked having the memory of a goldfish and panicking again now.

"PRONGS!" Sirius shouted chucking the pillow at his mate.

* * *

_A/N: Cheers to anyone who caught the 'Friends' reference. I'm off to catch up on the sleep that I miss out every week thanks to this soul sucking job of mine. **Please review! xoxoxo**_


End file.
